Original subtitles

Team xRG @ desidhamal.com

This Love and all is not my kind of thing

Do you know, till today l have not understood..

.. how some people spend their whole lives with one girl

I had already decided that l will not waste my life by falling in love

So are you trying to say that..

.. every boy wants just one thing from every girl? - Right

Every love story, has the exact same story

The hero first runs away from love.. And then..

l love you Simran

l love you and onIy you

l love you Riya

God l hate love stories!

But I love, love stories

lnfact, l love everything

These flowers, this season, rains!

These colours, Pink

Romance, romantic films

l make sets for these films, l am an art director

l love my job,

This filmy world, dramatic stories and..

.. The thing I love the most - Iove stories

ln which the heroine Turns around in slow motion,

when the hero sings and calls out to her

Cut!

Emotions! I want emotions!

Stupid! These love stories are stupid

Even more stupid than that are those people who make these love stories

Today, l top the list of these stupid people

l am a stupid directors assistant

who is enacting something stupid so that he can..

FeeI, l want to feel.. l want to get the feel?

How do they make such stupid films

Do Iove stories really exist?

Of course, love stories exists

we have a perfect Iove story

That's Raj, My Mr. Right!

when l saw, l realized my love

Love means going crazy, Simran

Raj was just perfect

So perfect, that everyone loved him - Perfect! Perfect!

My mom was a Gujrati

And dad, Punjabi

After her experience mom had decided..

.. That her son-in-law would be a Gujrati

Enter Raj!

Perfect

Just Perfect

My mom had just one dream

That amongst these cards, One day, would be my wedding card

She was obsessed with marriage

My marriage!

Marriage - none of this crap for me!

l was just not that types of a guy

lnfact l haven't seen a happy couple till today

Umm, may be my grandparents

Actually no, l just loved one thing!

Dating! I date every kind of girl.. who loves me,

who doesn't love me

who does everything else besides loving me

Or even makes me do things!

l had just one dream

To work with a director who made the best love stories

And that day..

My life was perfect

And l was so happy

Stop yeah! Now Ieave her and listen to me

Veer was a very big filmmaker

Big hits, big stars, big budgets

whatever, whatever

But these were not my kind of films.. Not my scene

lnfact for me it was like the Taliban

l was here forjust two reasons

First, my resume and

Second, Peter's bills

There was another character in my life.. Kunal

My senior in office and My best friend

Kunal was like a villain for every girl

The perfect villain!

Phew! l hate it when girls don't listen to me

why you still sitting, you want to get me beaten up? Lets go

Oh Shit!

Speaking of villains Veer, the villain of my life

Sent me to watch this romantic film

wanted me to see some aunty's performance Casting issues

Actually, he knew how I felt about these films

Sadist!

But I did not know that my life would change that day

Just like an old film,

She turned and looked at me

And me..

Sirji, my family is a little small

You are alone, can you please Adjust on that seat there

what is happening?

Hi.. J

what's your name?

Name?

Simran

How can you be so beautiful?

Your name is Simran? Seriously?

Shut up Jay, keep quiet don't say anything, keep quiet

Quite a filmy name, don't you think?

No offence

Listen you don't have a boyfriend by the name Raj right?

No right, Thank God, If you did l would have falIen down laughing

My fiancAes name is Raj

But seriously, have you ever thought what wiIl happen to your children

In school their teachers will ask them

Child, what are your parents' names?

Raj and Simran

Child, do they also sing songs in fields?

wilI you please be quiet

Change the mood, say something sweet Jay

Come on, you can do it

l bet your those filmy types

You love these love stories right

Look, your spoiling my film

If you are not interested in this film

Then just leave

l cannot go

Have you hear of Veer Kapoor?

Of course, he is my favorite director

Of course, he is your Favorite director!

l work for him

He has sent me here

He is mad

He had falIen down somewhere in his chiIdhood..

.. and hurt his head and since then he has been making love stories

which people love

People are mad

God!

This! Childhood romance, childhood Sweethearts, does this even happen?

lt happened with us

Us? - Raj and l

Oh God, I thought she was reaIly making fun of me

That is why l decided that l will keep quiet

Seriously you need help

You are really really ill

You beIieve in such love stories? - Just shut up

Oh, so you must be believing in ghosts too right?

A lot of films are made on ghosts

Simran, come on ya, don't go like that

Look, why you getting so angry

l was just doing time pass

Come on, Listen Simran please seriously..

.. I cannot watch such a boring fiIm alone

l need your company

Best of luck!

Ya right, I won't watch a film without you

Anyways this was the world's smalIest love story

This time veer was making a very different film

Sanjana was leaving forever

She was walking towards the aircraft

Cut to, ln the frame we see Rahul's feet

Rahul does not want Sanjana to leave

Rahul runs behind Sanjana

He fights with the security guard and screams "Sanjana"

But Sanjana's father does not leave her hand

And then, then, Rahul sings a song

Hearing the song, Sanjana's fathers heart melts

Sanjana leaves her fathers hand and runs and hugs RahuI

Every love story has the same costumes, same sets, same dialogues

Everything is the same..

.. just the themes have been changed a little and they say

Our film is different!

It wilI not be shot in New York or London,

But will be shot in New ZeaIand

Bollywood's king will shoot in Queenstown

wow! - This is not just a Iove story

lt's a saga!

wow!

Veer

Sir. - Jay, I'm sorry your name is J right, not Jay

Ya - why? It's cool?

So telI me J, you did not like my film right?

No Veer, I thought it was.. - Shut up

l'm sure you think l am dumb, mad

And make the same old fiIms over and over again

But you know what? l know that

Just one thing, there's one thing that you don't know

That my films have magic..

.. that magic which the audience connects..

.. with which you will understand one day

Understand? - lt's really

Shut up!

Veer, Nidhi is incharge of costumes..

.. and we need another girl for properties, can I ask..

Jay, from today jay will be in charge of properties

Veer.. l - You don't understand my world right Jay?

That is why from today, you will work with my art director

Understand?

So remember l had told you not to listen to Simran

You will have to listen to her now

Because in front of me was fate again!

what the F?

Ah Simran!

Hi Veer

Simran meet.. This is - J!

He was watching a film yesterday

Oh that reminds me, did you actualIy watch that film?

Yes. - And he praised it a lot too

Really? You liked it so much?

l wasn't taIking about the film, l was talking about you!

lt was Veer only who hurt himself in his childhood right?

No! That was me!

Oh really?

Long story Veer!

Dude, its' a graph! However insolent a girl is..

.. she is that hot as weIl, directly proportional

Simran is only so hot, but she is jacking..

.. your case quite badly, its a total loss!

But l think she is a little hotter than that!

How does it matter my friend? ln any case you have to pack up soon

Do one thing, on your way out throw an egg on her

A Simran, this is Jay, Jay Dhingra..

.. Oh ya he doesn't like his last name..

.. its not cool, anyways ilI see you in a bit - Ok

So you complained about me right?

Fine, but this was a very cheap shot

Jay Dhingra, you spoke a lot of rubbish yesterday..

.. and I did not say anything

But don't forget l am your senior here

ln this office there will be only professional talks, no rubbish

You wilI not argue with anyone and will do only whatever..

.. you are told to do

l want the production pIans now

NOw!!

And Jay Dhingra, Best of Luck again!

what just happened?

This Simran chic is so..

Stupid! He is so stupid

lt's such a good job, such a good set up, but he doesn't care about it

Jaan!

Leave that Jay in office only

why are you spoiling your mood?

Hi

l tried leaving him in office

Here, Veer has sent this.. welcome gift

How sweet! - Hey

Hey Hey, l'm J

Hi Jay, Raj Dholakia

Uh Raj Dholakia it's J

You should try the wine, it's really good, I packed it myself

Sorry friend, but l don't drink on weekdays

And today Simran has made Iobsters, I'm saving place for that

Simran, you try the wine

Even I don't drink on weekdays

wow, a match made in heaven!

Yeah.. So tell me, what do you do?

l'm an investment banker from London

wow! Stocks, number crunching, trading and aIl of that

Your dam smart!

Thanks - Yeah

Uh, why don't you join us? Dinner?

Uh no thanks

By the way, I drink on weekdays!

And even we want some privacy

Oh, oh Sorry

Uh no..

Hey dude listen, nice shirt,

Red, Nice red

Thanks

what? He's sweet, poor thing, he was ok.. Simran!

Even Raj thought that jerk was sweet

was l over reacting?

Simran! Simran!

Hi

You know l was thinking Of you alI night

You look really pretty at night

Oh.. I, l'm joking!

Look, l know we didn't start off on the right note..

.. it was my fault, l'm sorry

Let it go

Hey, will you be my friend?

Ah Great, so now that we are friends, can l ask you something?

Sure

why do you roam around with this flower? Does Raj give it to you?

Yes - Everyday?

One white flower? Is it in mourning?

what?

Listen, do you seriously love Raj?

l mean, come on, you look So good at night..

.. l would give you 7 out of 10 points

Easily

But I wouldn't give him more than a 4

what are you trying to say?

Raj.. DhoIakia

Have you forgotten your name? Jay "Dhingra"?

l am different and his shirt was ugIy

lnfact it was fugly, you understand fugly right?

How dare you? You said his shirt was nice!

Listen l'm seriously telling you, he is very boring..

.. he doesn't have wine on weekdays, why?

Because he might have a hangover the next morning but..

.. that Gujju boy was eating lobster..

.. what if his stomach got upset then?

Just shut up, l had asked you to behave

But that was in office! And now we are friends!

why you getting so angry?

l was just doing some time pass.

You girls reaIly overact, seriously!

l thought l could give you another chance but l don't think so

l want these properties, now

why do you want everything right that moment?

lt's for a girls room, you won't have any problem

All this girls stuff and me? Come on yeah.. l..

what's happening guys?

I was just sending Jay to get some properties for Priya's room

And we wanted to know if you had any special requirements

Hmm, Scene number 18 right?

Sanjana's introduction shot, Sanjana is sleeping on her bed

The first ray of light wakes her up

Romantic music is pIaying

l need everything, stuffed toys..

.. heart shaped pillows, balloons..

.. colourfuI bedspreads with flowers on them, colours, colours

l want a lot of colours, but mostly pink

Confused?

Don't think like a boy Jay, think like a girl

Think like a girl, my boy!

l hated it when she smiled like that

we meet tomorrow at the office at 9:00 am.. meeting with Veer

Hell and.. heaven

l was clear, a person works so that he can enjoy life

If l cannot enjoy my Iife, what is the point in working?

Now step 2, looking for single girls

The rules were simple

Singles don't sit like boring couples

SingIe girls don't talk to their boyfriends on the phone

And couples never drink so much

Hey.. - Hey

l can solve your problem - Sorry?

You are drinking here alone, there has to be some problem

There is no probIem

But I have a big problem

l cannot party alone..

I'm J - GiseIle

what do you do?

lnvestment banker, Mery lynch

Oh - Filmy kind of boys don't Iook cool

Nice - That's why..

l hate the crowd on the dance floor

There is not even one nice coupIe

You think we should change that?

lf you say no, then l will kill myself

Really

And like always, fate!

J?

what are you doing in the ladies toiIet?

l'm waiting for my cousin, she is inside

J, have you met my friend? She reaIly helped me inside

Really? How nice!

Do you know even Simran's boyfriend works at Mery Lynch..

.. just like my boyfriend!

Boyfriend? He's your boyfriend?

Oh Simran! You are Raj's girlfriend right?

Raj who wears realIy fugly shirts, how nice to meet you!

Jaan, l don't want to meet Raj here, this is not a corporate party

Don't feel bad..

You know.. - Uh you work in bollywood right?

Right yeah. l have hear your quite insoIent, and abuse a lot

You should speak nicely to people, they will feel nice

Bye

These love stories are so stupid, but since l have seen you

Raj! - Jay!

Raj Dholakia, my man

what a shirt! Look, Look

Blue, how nice right?

Thanks, what are you doing here?

what does a person do in the toilet Raj?

Yea but..

what is this?

lt's our anniversary today, small gift

when did you get married?

No no, not that one, the other one

Oh, naughty boy, naughty boy!

No no its not Iike that, we started dating on this date

Awe, how sweet! Yeah

You know, next year it will also be our anniversary, same day!

we can celebrate together! I love bankers!

Jaan, we should go

Jaan, we should go, come on

Uh Simran, you should talk to your staff nicely, even outside office!

Shit!

You practice yoga a lot right?

Yeah power yoga, how do you know?

what's for breakfast? You promised me l would get whatever l want

That line was not for breakfast

And then she went on saying the same thing Just louder and louder

what? - Look, if my landlord gets to know that you are here..

.. he wilI throw me out and have you arrested

what? - Yeah, you will have to hide and go out

what? lf I had known that, l wouId have never come here

l know - what?

l can't find one shoe

Go with one shoe then, you wilI look like Cinderella

what?

Bye - what?

And this way l got rid of probIem number one

And now problem number two

l want curtains flying

Jay!

Every morning l wake up and pray to God forjust one thing..

.. that oh God please give me the honour of meeting Jay today!

Voila! here you are!

Veer, actually.. - Get Out!

A man who cannot come to office on time..

Veer last night my cousin died!

what?

Yeah, Because of a drug overdose!

These kids these days, no family vaIues you know

Uh, l'm sorry Jay,

Jay, why don't you go wash your face and come, freshen up

Even his eyes were red, poor guy

Yes Sir, he must not have slept also, he was on set till late last night

Uh Jay, do one thing, just take the day off

Go home and rest

Rest well and come tomorrow, its ok

No, Veer actually she is not in India so..

Oh, Oh ok come come come join us, keep your bag

Simran has made this new set

lt's beautiful! Look, look

There is a staircase inside the house

And the staircase has a moulding too

AbsoIuteIy new!

These people are not rich..

.. but they shouldn't be too poor aIso, just right

Beautiful, good job Simran!

But Veer, J had not liked this model

what?

No, l loved it

l had not liked it at first, but then I thought from my heart

To match Rajiv and Priya's scaIe..

.. we have to have a house like that onIy right?

These windows are so beautifuI! French windows

How reaI! Surreal!

My uncles house is just the same!

And the temple, we will have a aarti song here right?

How.. different!

Amazing! how one tragedy has changed you so much Jay

l am so proud of you

Look at you, good idea, the aarti should be here under the staircase

That smiIe again, something was going to happen for sure

lt's not a joke Jay!

l had asked you to bring a simple vase right?

l don't know what your problem is - l'm sorry.. I

No Jay, this is not about just one vase

Everything you do is wrong

Look Jay, this is my set and..

.. l will make it according to my sensibilities

l do not need your expert opinion

And if you cannot do things right, then just get out of here!

Kunal! Come on, lets go

Jay, Veer has given you a lot of chances

lts time you pull up your socks, otherwise..

what kind of a graph is this? She has just got after me

You ok?

Coffee?

But l knew coffee wouIdn't do anything

Check her out! 7 on 10.. There 10.30.. 11

what the F..

what is she doing here?

Lets' get out of here

And then something amazing happened..

Fate

Ah Sorry man!

J?

Shit! Sorry

No, l'm sorry

For that!

And for this morning, I should not have spoken to you that way

No, lt's ok

No, even Veer got to know

Simran, I know you did not mean it

l know why you were so off mood

Mr. Perfect is troubling you right?

Listen, he is a nice guy

Just explain to him simply that he should not do..

.. time pass during work hours

He will understand

Everything wiIl be fine

And listen if that does not work, run away from home like me shhh

Ok opening shot

The heroine is standing in the balcony right?

There is a strong breeze blowing

Jay!

wow! You are Iate again today

Come on boys! Give him a hand

Give him a hand

You know what in such a situation I would scream at you

But you know what, l will not scream at you

And you know why? Because you don't get affect by being screamed at

Today, you will stand in that corner..

.. like a school child with your hands up the entire day.

Ok?

Looks silly right?

Jay! Go!

l am serious!

Go!

Actually Veer

l had sent Jay to get some properties

Last warning

well then we start with an O. S shot

Here is looking at the heroine ok?

Zoom in on the heroine, pan in and..

Simran!

Uh Sorry - Ok, we can do this.

Nidhi, dialogue!

Thank you

Thanks

Veer cant be trusted, he'll make me a chicken next time

Thank you for last night's speech

l said a lot right? lt's the beer man, sorry

lt was the first time you said something that dint make me feel bad

So, what are your problems other than me?

Huh? - Love? Raj? Dholakia?

l love Raj

l told you, you are ill, you need help

He is very nice, if l fight with him even a littIe..

.. my entire day gets spoiIt!

But, fights happen, you know how it is!

Yeah That is why l don't have a girlfriend

Really?

Hmm, in my film there are just one or two meetings and then..

End titles

Listen if you have any hot friends then.. - No

I do not want to show any girl such a bad film

Fine!

why did you leave home? - Oh God!

lt's not that dramatic!

My parents Iive in long island..

.. and my dad wanted me to join the family business

l wanted to be a director

There were fights at home, l left home

That's it!

And you? you live with Raj?

Raj and me have known each other from childhood

Family friends son! Perfect match! That's it!

No, no, no, no

So which film have you jumped out of?

Guys! It's a wrap, we finished long time back!

So, you don't believe in Iove stories?

lt's a practical world yeah

There is nothing like Iove lt's like..

it's like we have been conditioned..

.. from childhood to believe in something

Like.. God

Now what is your problem with God?

How can I have a problem with Something that does not exist!

what nonsense!

Have you seen God? ls he your neighbours?

Look Jay, - I'm sorry, it's my fault, of course you believe in God

You consider Raj your God

You see you God in him! - Shut up!

Love Guru, I see Meena everyday at a grocery store

See? I mean did you hear?

Perfect!

Everyone's love is perfect at first

And then you need to go to such cartoons

l think this is a sexual problem, you should excite Meena

Raj and me have known each other from childhood

But our love has not changed

Really?

we like the smallest of Things about each other

Just like it happens in films

Oh God! Come out of your Filmy world, Simran!

Do you know there are a lot of things other..

.. than this love of yours! - Sex!

Sex! See!

Hatred, Jealousy

Ok if Raj sees me drop you home he will..

Nonsense, Raj is not like that

Thank you - See, l'm a very innocent boy!

which film's set is this?

Shut up

Simran! Gabbar Singh!

Simran. - Raj! what are you doing here?

You hardly meet me so l came to tell your parents goodnight

You are so sweet!

See J, this is what I call love

Hey Jay, what are you doing here?

l have come to say goodnight to you!

Take care - Bye Guys

See You - Raj! Nice shirt

Thanks

why does he talk to you this way?

wassup Gabbar? Are You in a bad mood?

Did Basanti Bhabhi, your wife run away?

what was happening?

was J right?

was my perfect life actually not perfect?

Thank you - Anytime

But something was happening.. J was changing

J! Do you want to join us for dinner?

with your parents?

l promise, you wilI not get bored

why haven't you got married yet?

Mom!!

No aunty, l haven't found anyone special that is why

Can l heIp?

Mumma!

what Mumma Mumma?

You don't get married yourself, why don't you Iet him get married?

wilI a Gujrati girl do?

Mumma, you know what l'm leaving ok?

Hey, hey, hey calm down!

Actually aunty, there was this girl

Oh

l really really Ioved her

Ok

But my mom did not like her

why dint she like her?

Because she was bisexuaI

l mean, she batted for both teams

But I like girls that like girls, I'm ok

Mom, J is joking, he is not interested in marriage..

.. and he does not have any serious girlfriend

Oh

wow! Your a Casanova type?

ln my time, even I was like you, like a tiger

Really?

But nowadays, I stay at home like a housecat

l think l need another drink

Cheers!

Don't worry, it happens, it happens with everyone

Son, I thought you were going to kill him

No Uncle, when someone behaves badly with..

.. their staff l don't like it

Now means?

Nikhil, he wants me to go back to the office.

Problem?

Hope not

SuddenIy l felt like I was standing there alone

why?

Mozart, Beethoven.. right!

Hi Veer

You just disappeared? Have you joined Simran's team?

Veer you only asked me to join Simran's team

Don't argue

Go get ready, the actors are coming to read their dialogues

Rajiv and Priya? - Yes

Guys now this was an epic, we are making a saga..

Guys meet Jay, new AD

Uh Jay, so Jay

J

Jay

J - Jay

Yeah

Jay who takes the auditions here?

Nikhil - So where is my best friend Nikhil?

Taking auditions

Of girls?

No kids

Jay Jay Jay, are the kids' moms hot?

Rajiv come on lets do this now

Yeah yeah.. - Positions now come..

Sanjana is getting married to someone eIse

Everyone is celebrating karvachaut

And at that time, Sanjana's house catches fire

Sanjana's dupatta gets burnt

And now Sanjana is in a coma

She is fighting for her life

And at that time RahuI comes and..

Get up Sanju, Get up

l know you can hear everything..

.. yourjust acting to fight with me and trouble me

Get up Sanju, say something pIease

l love you Rahul

what can l say Simran? Look we do have problems

But why, I don't know

Nowadays I..

Anyway.. l'm going to Delhi tomorrow

when l come back, please give me my Simran back

PIease

This was not fate!

I've got into the habit of going home together

Raj and you have fought again right?

How do you know?

The glasses, you are the filmy type

whenever l am sad..

l don't know Jay, everything was normal up till now

But now l feel like something is missing

The magic?

Yeah J, the magic, the love..

l don't know where it has disappeared

The magic has disappeared! How tragic!

There is nothing like magic Simran, its in your head

You need to keep the spice fresh in every relationship

So all these people need your help

Yeah and you too

This must be a joke for you, but l know what this magic is

You know even PC Sarkar must not beIieve so much in magic

l don't want to argue with you

All l am saying is that l was happy first

And you are not now, obviousIy

what does that mean?

Ok, to be happy you need to be a littIe carefree but you..

So many tantrums, so many boundaries,

Like there is some big walI and you are stuck in it like Anarkali

Break that waIl Simran, Break free

Sex, Every problem has just one soIution - How? - Have Sex

Do you have this everyday?

No, No, Normally we have beer,

But today for the first time - shots

why?

Guaranteed drunkenness!!

Don't you think only one of us should rink?

See, this is exactly what I'm talking about

Come on, Let go!

Come on. - Ok

Next one next one

l love shots

Peter! l love shots

From today, l'Il have shots everyday

So tell me, what's the problem?

l forgot

Shots!

Ok look, l'm not saying that you.. everyday

You will become Devdas

But sometimes it's good to loose control

will you dance? - No You should dance

Excuse me, my friend has a huge crush on you

No he is lying, he has a crush on you

No no what was that

Ok will you dance with me? - No - Come on

No way - Come on - No No No

Guys, excuse me

l just found out that my wife is pregnant

Ask her to dance with me, come on

l told you, l am an innocent boy

That's it?

what else do you want to do?

Hey gabbar

Gabbar Singh! Your mood is not good today also?

Basanti ran away right?

why don't you make do with Dhanno?

Look, Look, Look my first girlfriend was from your village

we were neighbours

ls your mustache real?

For the first time I woke up in the morning and thought

what has happened to my perfect life.

l love the rains

l'm shocked

Shut up

Hey that's a nice one yeah, can l keep that?

l wiIl never give this to you

Have a look at this sir, the water is falling really welI

Looks ok, we will have to make someone stand in for reference

why don't you break your walI?

wow, you look.. fugly!

Raj will just not recognize you

l thought about you everyday, Simran

But you are going away from me.. why?

Am I doing something wrong?

PIease give me one more chance

PIease, let's try and make this work

But the problem was mine,

Sometimes, colours also look good

Red is my favourite colour

Raj always gives me white flowers

He loves white

Do you know, l hated your smile

And now?

Jay!

what's happening? Just concentrate on your work

No, Veer this is for the scene

Shh, Anyway the rainfall is too heavy

l want just 4 drops of water..

.. to falI on Priya's face

1,2,3,4 drops

And concentrate

God!

The world's worst dialogues

They are not that bad

Everything was fine tiIl yesterday, how did this love happen?

l Had never imagined that this would ever happen

How did this happen?

wow! Not bad

Any one will launch you.

So now do you believe in Iove stories?

l want to say something to you

PIease don't misunderstand me

l have faIlen in love with you

l cannot Iive without you

Even I am just yours Sanjana just yours

l have to meet you, urgently

Going to the Marriot, Coffee shop see you there

And right there one more love story had been created

l had fallen for Mr. wrong

l dint know anything

what mom and dad would say

what wiIl l telI Raj?

what wiIl our future be

Nothing

That wall had fallen down

And l had fallen in love with J

Hey wassup

what was so urgent?

ls everything alright?

what is all this?

who is that?

who?

She's a friend

what kind of friend?

what kind of friend? She's a friend Simran

And me?

You what? what's going on?

Am I nothing of yours

what are you saying?

l thought you loved me

what? when did l say that?

No, You dint but I thought

ls everything alright?

Yup.. ahh 1 sec

Simran, I don't know what to say

You here like this

l know J, its my fault

Simran

l just thought that you aIso love me, its not your fault

l don't know why you thought that

Even I don't know but l just though

we spent so much time together that why

what? At work?

Yeah at work Jay.

Simran, I was always your friend

l have never looked at you that way

l know that J

Come on you know how it is

Your not my type

And for God's sake you are engaged

l know J, But l had left everything..

.. forgotten everything for a new life

You were right, all this just happens in films

lt's not your fault J, l'm sorry

You know why all this confusion has taken place?

Because of those stupid films, that love in which you believe so much

l know J

Simran there is nothing like love

There is

lt has happened with me and I feeI like a fool.

Simran's smile had disappeared

She had fallen in love

And unfortunately l had become a part of her love story

Hey, Simran's girIfriend has come

Dude, the schedules getting over, you should join..

.. a kitty party with her

Shut up

Jay, Simran has requested for 2 girls as her assistants

Just hand everything over and come over for some real work

Holy Shit

Dude, what just happened?

I knew it, l knew there was some problem

You did something with her sister right?

what? No she does not have a sister.

Then her best friend?

No Kunal

Oh, then l have no interest

J!

l was just going to come to you

l wanted to say thank you to you for all the hard work

You were right

l had gone mad

l was living in some dream world

l'm sorry

PIease forget whatever happened between us

Let's just be friends

wilI you be my friend?

And don't worry I have realIy praised you in front of Veer

lt was the best way to say thank you to you

Thanks

Everything had changed in just one moment

And all this because of the one thing I hated the most

Love

There was nothing left to say between us

But I had to tell someone the truth

l have thought a lot Raj

l think we shouId go our separate ways

PIease don't say that, Jaan

You don't know what has happened to me

And l don't even want to know

we are here again, together, that's all I..

Raj, you are not understanding

So why are you trying to make me understand, Simran?

Simran, l want to give this relationship one more chance

And l am willing to do anything for that

l just need your support

How could l say No to Raj,

lt was time to reopen this door

I told you earlier that Simran's graph was wrong

lt's not about the graph, she is a nice girl, that's all

wow! For the first time you are defending a girI

what's the deal? - Don't be stupid

Shots for you, sir

Are you crazy? Have we ever had shots till today?

what are you doing man? Get us some beer, regular

l want to gift you something today

There, 9 on 10

How are you? - l'm fine.

Not interested Kunal

what? Keep it, I'm going to keep the 16

8 + 8 both!

Not in the mood - RealIy?

Yeah - Sure? - Sure

So then wear this..

what? - Just, just wear it

Hi Girls

This is my blind brother

lt's his day out today, so l have got him out

Oh How Sweet

Hi, l'm Tina

Kunal. Jay

Michelle

He is so handsome, how did this happen?

Poor thing, he went to watch Black

He came out of the theatre, and everything was bIacked out

Oh so sad

Black is such an awesome movie

Totally - Yeah

Uh, Can l buy you girls a drink?

l'm sure you drink wine

How did you know?

when l Iook at you, l feel like I know everything about you

That's so cool

All girls drink wine!

Here you go..

Did u just see that?

Oh! No l am really blind

You creep!

what did you just do?

what's wrong with you?

l told you l was not in the mood

Jay, whether or not you know anything..

.. this was your natural talent!

How can you not see this?

You are screwed!

You're dead!

And the killer is Simran - what?

You're in love, you have falIen in love!

Don't be stupid, you know I'm not like that

Jay, she is pIaying on your mind

lt's a sign, everything is so cIear

Your garage now has a board for all the other girls that says No Parking

And that's why

Jay what are you doing? - Calling Simran

Leave it man, l was just joking

Shut up and stay out of this

Don't say anything and just listen to me, ok

Have I ever told you that l love you? No

Have I ever given you any wrong signal?

No,

So then why are you doing alI this?

l was just your friend

And, and, and let's get one thing straight

You have not brought any change in me

And l don't love you,

lnfact you love me!

You understand?

Yes Son

Good, enjoy

She called me "son"!

l don't know how this happened mom

Raj is perfect

And Jay is a Punjabi!

So is the Punjabi right?

And perfect wrong?

Child, Relationships cannot be made and broken off so easily

Many lives are attached

l hope you know what you are doing

But I did not know anything

That is why I decided to face this problem for the last time

She left!

How can she just go away?

She has just pre-poned her trip, why are you overreacting so much?

Are you carrying her child by any chance?

l wanted to say sorry

Then call her again

May be this time her Dad wilI answer

what is this?

Oh this! Cliches

The love barometer

Those foolish things that every hero in love does

Like fights, drama, taking lover type photographs..

.. running behind the heroine to the airport

He laughs, cries

what's your point?

Today l can see a new hero

Simran's hero

what nonsense! You know that there is nothing like that

Test it, close your eyes and if you can see her face..

.. then it means you love her

Shut up

l'm serious, it works!

There is nothing Iike that

l'm telling you at least try it once

At least try - Stop it

l wiIl never give you this

Try it

what happened? Did you see her?

Simran?

Preity Zinta

what?

This scene is from Dil Chahta Hai.. you idiot!

Yeah

Guys! Nidhi forgot to take the production charts

Kunal go to the airport and give it to her

Me?

Can l go?

l'm just going to say sorry ok

Yeah yeah

How could Simran just leave?

l had to meet her

I don't know why.. but l had to meet her

Hey thanks Jay, l thought Kunal would come

l'm sorry Simran

l called you yesterday but.. - Don't worry J, l understand

You are ilI, you need help!

l'm sorry for everything Jay

l hope you can forgive me

Simran why are you doing all this?

Because this is it J

we have some really beautiful memories of our friendship

And l don't want to loose them

May be the end credits of our film should be here

And the thinking in bed started again

The only difference this time was..

They were very beautiful memories

But now aIl l can remember is the moment she was leaving

I will pray to God that Simran kisses you

You know, I just love when two girIs..

Has someone died?

And once again, we had nothing to say to each other

Someone, somewhere is made for you

But how will I know?

wilI she be standing with a board with my name on it in her hand?

How will l recognize him?

ln whom will l see God?

Thank you God, l found my God! thank you

So many signs, what is happening?

what's happening?

Something happens Rahul, you wont understand

lf she loves me, then she will turn around and look

Turn around, Turn around, Turn around

l am going - Bye

Don't ever say goodbye,

when you say goodbye, the desire to meet again dies

Oh Jay, my friend! How are you doing?

You are coming for the party right? - Yes

lts been 2 weeks since we have been shooting

So l forced Veer that he has to give a party

l am looking cool?

You know, girls really Iove my butt

That is why l have worn tightjeans, to enhance them

working?

Yeah - Cool right?

You should also try it

Tight Jeans, works, man!

l know what girls would say

what an ass!

FamiIy films are made like this

Boys!

Alright guys! Tonight everyone's getting drunk, ok

The bar is that side get your drinks

No Veer I'm not drinking we are shooting tomorrow

what? - Isn't the call time late?

Jay the new serious attitude

No No actually he is pregnant

Don't be siIly Kunal, for that Jay has to have some sex

And he runs away from girIs

He doesn't run away from girls

I have seen him constantIy looking at one girl

So then he is a lesbian

Keep quiet, lesbian, keep quiet

Stop making fun of him, Jay come with me

Come on sit

She is beautiful

who?

ME. So beautiful

The same girl who you are sneaking and looking at

No, there's nothing like that

Jay, l am more experienced than you in this business

And l am not taIking about films

Simran's that smile had returned

l think she was over me

Come on go for a shot

l am not in the mood

Devdas Iooks really funny without alcohol

Come on, go for it

And then, that night

Yeah

Girls are like buses

One goes and then another comes

But amongst all these buses

There is just one bus that takes you home

And you should not miss that bus

All the other buses are pointless

Only that one bus

why haven't you found your bus?

Because l don't travel in buses

But you don't make this mistake

She's just a friend whose gone far away from me

So go, remind her about your friendship

Don't let her go

Forget everything, just listen to me

l realized that what you see

Does not always have to be true!

May be Rajiv wasn't such an ass

Guys, excuse me excuse me

l just found out my wife's pregnant

And she won't dance with me..

Can You help me out.

l do not remember anything else

l just had to talk to Simran

Go

How are you yeah?

Don't look so surprised

l was missing Simran a lot

That is why

So how is my shirt?

Perfect, just like your timing!

Thanks yeah

lll see you around right?

where the hell did this white flower come from?

Simran's choice is quite bad, don't you think?

l am not talking about you

what was l doing in this story?

The story is always suppose to be Raj and Simran's right?

May be that is why fate was also on their side

Jay! Dude, we really have some connection

You are sitting and eating aIone?

Anyway now we are here to give you company

No, l don't want to ruin your romance

Oh come on, even l have barged into your outdoor

Am I ruining something?

Coffee?

Have a seat ill get it for you

wilI you have something? Sure?

You're looking very happy

Your love is here

J why are you saying that?

Baby your coffee

Are you sure you don't want anything? - yeah

So Jay, what are you doing here alone?

l mean a guy like you, without a girl?

what does that mean?

Look fried, you are not going to fall in love right?

So you know your kind of girl

Actually there was this one girl

Really?

But she had to go home very suddenly - why?

She fell down somewhere and broke her leg

what?

I hope you at least took her to the hospital?

Yeah

You know long back, even Simian has hurt her leg

I used to go meet her 3 times everyday

Remember baby?

But you don't Iove her right? It's different

You haven't tried your coffee yet

And that's a wrap!

Go and teIl her

No veer - No Veer there is nothing like that..

..you are misunderstanding me

we are just friends

You were going to say just this right?

Dude, l have made a lot of fiIms

And have watched more fiIms than that

No matter how cooI you are,

Your story is as filmy as that

Now you have done everything

You have fought, run to the airport

You have got drunk and fallen down

Have a sung a song?

Look if you don't tell her what is in your heart today

You will loose the little chance that you have also

Go tell her.

Forget everything, just Iisten to me

Go

Hey!

Need to meet you urgently

Sunset park 9 o clock

Everything had changed, I had falIen in love,

And this was the world's best feeling.

Magic!

That magic has happened Simian

l have faIlen in love

The thing that l made fun of, laughed at, dint believe in

That has happened

l love you Simran

And I realised that when you went away from me

Everything is red, there is music, you are here, I am here

l know that Raj is also here, but

lf you are with me then nothing else matters

Say you love me Simran, say it!

No J

Today that you have said that you love me

Should that make me forget everything?

J, even l had said these same things to you

But you did not understand

lt took a lot of time for me to get back to normaI

And if you laugh at this love story again tomorrow

l will not be abIe to come back to normal again

But Simran - My Raj, has forgiven me, how can l do this to him?

How can l do this with myself?

l don't have the strength to love you again

l'm sorry J

But I love you

So does Raj!

And in just one moment my Iife had changed

l was alone even today

Don't ask my friend,

The thing that I was scared of actually happened - love!

ln every bad fiIm they say..

The thing that I was scared of actually happened

l had fallen in love

And my heart was also broken..

And when the heart breaks, the pattern is fixed

The person stays in bed all day

He takes the help of drinks

You know she is so beautifuI

And when she smiles, it's beautiful

And your own friends remind you of her.

l ate my food first, then I brushed my teeth

And then I ate my food again!

So sweet!

Tries to work but remembers her even then..

And sometimes she comes herself

That is why Veer decided to help me out

Strip club?

Veer how do you know about this place?

Someone had told me about it

Though even l have come here for the first time

Hi Veer, long time no see

But the truth was that l was much more broken than this

what could l do? I couldn't understand anything

Hello

Mom?

Jay? Jay, son how are you?

l am fine, how are you?

l'm good, I had called you but..

Yes, l was a little busy

Son, are you ok?

Ya mom, why you asking me that?

You have called me today, that is why

Very funny mom

Kill you ego son, tell me what has happened?

l cant understand anything mom

How did this happen? How did everything change?

The thing l have always made fun of

That thing has shown me my place

And l don't know what to do, mom

what is the girls name?

lt a girl right?

Yeah, Simran!

So why are you overacting so much son?

Jay, just because your dad and me could not be together

Doesn't mean that every love story wiIl have the same ending

what is the problem son?

She is with someone else

So she loves someone else?

No, she does not love him

So she loves you?

Oh god! Such a clinched problem

And you have aIready given up?

what has happened to you?

You are crying Iike a girl over the phone

Come on get up, go

Go and fight with her

Make her reaIise what she is missing

Fight for your love son

Make it happen

l love you mom

l'm sorry, l should not have left home like this

l have hurt you a lot right?

No son, you have not done anything like that

l love you very much, Jay

Miss you

Mom had shown me the way

l was going to fight for my love

Kunal shut up man! This is serious!

My friend, my hair have gone white listening to your story

Forget her, she is history

No, my mom has said that l have to fight

lf you have to fight then join some boxing club or a karate club

Shut up Kunal, Jay you telI me

l wiIl tell you from the beginning

Simran feIl in love with you, and you rejected her

Then you fell in love with her and she rejected you

Now what should we do further?

Thanks! The point is

That even I don't know what she should do further

Hmm..

I don't know, l couldn't understand anything

That is why, once again l decided to make the call HeIlo Love Guru?

Hello Love Guru?

My name is J, actually Jayant

Pandey

we met on a film set, she loves me but is upset with me now

I cant understand how to convince her

Should l play a song for her?

No, every problem has only one solution

Just have sex!

But that is too far fetched

Uh ok then jealousy

Jealousy?

Jealousy!

Hmmm Jealousy

You think that will work?

Forget everything son, just listen to me

Hey!

Giselle, please don't do this

Listen to me

why should I Iisten to you Jay?

why? Just get out of here

Giselle please, see what l got for you

Giselle please, forgive me

Now that l have understood what love is, l couId only think of you

You thought of me?

Yeah, what?

No, no no no l don't love you

l love Simran but l just need some help from you

Giselle?

You must be kidding

You want me to help you fool some other girl?

Giselle please, open the doorjust once

And you will know how serious I am

That's KunaI, that's Nidhi

They have a plan

PIan?

How did you know l would agree

well, he told us that you are quite stupid!

Hey Simran, recognize me?

Hi

You know, l aIways thought that Jay was madly in love with me

But that dog!!

Now l have fallen madIy in love with him

And that mad guy has fallen for some other mad girl

l want jay

l'm ready to give him my weaIth and body..

.. and you have to help me

l cant do anything

Oh come on Simran don't be mean

l just want his phone number

PIease, please, please, please

Ok

Got it!

But what will GiselIe talk to them

Anything, how does it matter?

Blah Blah blah blah

Giselle?

Oh How sweet! Have you seen J?

J.

l have just watched this romantic movie with J

Romantic movie and J?

Yeah, I love him and his shirts

And like Kunal said the other things did not matter

Blah blah..

Blah blah

Hey baby, lets go

Of course

2 popcorns

This plan will work right?

Of course, Giselle is acting so well

Thank you

After the movie theatre, dinner!

Giselle!

You are not following us, are you?

Uh

Just kidding! l have come with J for a candle light dinner

How romantic!

And the rest of the things were not important..

Blah blah

Hi baby!

For you - Thank you

Bye!

Are you ok?

And then a party!

Super, but where?

Your house!

what?

Take the screenplay a little forward

lt was time to get close to Giselle

Blah blah

Jay, Jay, Jay

ldiot over here!

Look at what is in your hand

She's way hotter than Simran

Take her instead, - thanks.

Blah blah

Hi!

No No No its not like that

what kind of a rubbish plan is this?

Shut up

But Kunal was right

Because l thought a lot

That if J Ioves me, what was he doing with that girl?

Just one last meeting, Simran will break down

Then you can go and propose to her

Really? So now?

But l was forgetting a main character of the story.

what's up?

what are you hiding and looking at?

Um.. Um..

Uh Jay wanted to buy some clothes

what?

Yeah Uh, Raksha Bandhan is around the corner

what? - Yeah

Anyway, Guys! l have a surprise for you

l am going to propose to Simran tomorrow,

She has agreed to marry me!

But, it's a surprise so please don't tell anyone

So boys, come over tomorrow night we will celebrate

l am going o see my wife happy after very long

lll see you guys later, take care!

He doesn't know what out plan is!

we don't have any plan

what?

She wants to marry Raj, Kunal

Don't be stupid, you know that she doesn't want that!

So then why is she doing this?

How do I know? He loves her and..

Exactly even Raj Ioves Simran

And I may love Simran way more than Raj does

But who are we to decide that?

we are not deciding, its Simran who is deciding this..

But we are influencing her decision right?

we are confusing her

ls this the right thing to do?

Jay, what are you saying?

Simran has agreed to marry Raj, l just want her to be happy

And if her decision is wrong, the nothing will happen

She will not go anywhere. She will come back

And if she does not come back then..

l don't know

whatever happens, please don't tell Simran about this plan

Surprise!

Only for you Simran

l wiIl send you white flowers everyday till the day l die

Everyday!

Raj you don't need to do this

l know how much you..

How much I love you?

No Simran, this is only..

..because I know how much you Iove white flowers

Complimentary shots from the bar sir

Thanks, but we don't drink on weekdays

l do

I cannot lie anymore and keep you in the dark

l don't Iike white flowers

l drink on weekdays!

And my favourite colour is red

what are you saying Simran?

l really tried to like white

But white is perfect and I don't like perfect

l love red

So that's fine, from tomorrow l will send you red flowers

No Raj, I need to tell you something

But I was Ieaving everything and going home

So like every hero l had reached the airport

Go from there!

what game was fate playing with me?

lf fate was on my side then why wasn't J on my side?

HelIo - Jay?

what's up?

l am so happy son, finally you are coming home

Me too, why is there so much noise?

My friends have come over for Iunch

Even Mrs. Chopra is here.

Her daughter is very beautiful, should I talk to her?

what?

Mom l don't want to get married

Crying for Simrans loss?

Mom stop it!

Oh Ok Ok, O tell me what are your plans after you get here?

l don't know, l think l will join a film schooI

Hmm, keep your Saturdays free

I have found a very good psychiatrists for you

For what?

For you?

what? why?

Because your in depression, son!

l'm not depressed mom

You haven't noticed, whenever you call you are crying

where am I crying? l am completely normal!

Please Jay please, leaving everything and coming back,

Crying on the phone, acting like Devdas

Do you call this normal?

So what do you want? what do you want me to do?

How does it matter what l want jay?

l had asked God for a son, but l got a daughter

what?

Girls cry on airports, not boys!

And if you have to do all this drama then go do it in front of Simran!

Now tell me quickly, are you even coming home?

Jay, Jay are you coming home?

No

So then where are you going?

To do some drama

She loves drama

l love you mom.

In every climax the hero runs to the airport

But I was different

Taxi!

Don't run away with my bag! l have noted down your number

Stop stop stop - where are you going?

Do you have a pass

what pass my friend? lts my film

You cannot go inside

Rajiv! Rajiv - Sorry Sir

You have the best bum in the worId!

l do, l do

No, No he did not mean that

Hello? Hello?

Simran!

Sorry! Sorry!

Magic!

The thing that l made fun, dint believe in

That has happened Simran

Everything is red, there is music

You are here, l am here

The Iast time l gave this speech you ran away

This is me Simran

l have done everything a cartoon madly in love does

But my feelings haven't changed

l cannot think of any new dialogue

Everything has been used

You know I am not perfect

My name is not perfect

l am stupid

But if you are with me then my first and last love story wilI be perfect

l Iove you Simran, l love you very much

l love you too!!

Come on!