Original subtitles

What do you think, Dade?

DADE: Well, I'll tell you, Pop,

looks to me like Jessup's got a pretty good idea.

Of course I have, and I'm willing to pay you for,

let's say, for any inconvenience it causes you.

How's it strike you, Hi?

I'll think better after Juneau starts talkin' money.

RUFE: Hi's right, Jessup.

How much you reckon on paying us for accommodating you?

Hmm, well, that depends.

A lot of things to be considered.

In the first place, how's she going to feel about it?

RUFE: I'll take care of that part.

Next time I won't miss, Peale.

I thought my father said for you to get out and stay out.

What are you aiming to do with Marsha?

I know you're up to something.

Supposing we are?

We know what we're doin'

and you'd better not come around here again.

You can't threaten me. Marsha and me are getting married.

Why, you!

[GUN FIRES]

I'm not wasting no more breath on you, Peale.

Next time you come snooping around here,

I'm gunning you down for trespassing.

Now, get out!

And remember this, I'd just as soon kill you as look at you.

What's the matter?

We just found a young fellow sneaking around

that we've been having a lot of trouble with.

Who told you to come out here?

Why, I only wanted to see if...

Get back in your room.

Get in there, quick! Hurry up.

I'm sorry about all this rumpus, Juneau.

Pop told that jasper before to get off our place

and leave Marsha alone.

After tonight, I'll take care of Marsha.

Come on, let's get down to business.

Did you ever ask a lawyer if it's all right?

How do you mean, Dade?

Well, are you sure a wife can't be forced to be witness

against her own husband?

Oh, yes, I'm very sure.

You know, I'm kind of sorry Marsha happened along

when you and old man Taylor had that argument.

I mean, it ain't easy for me losing Marsha,

even though she's only my niece.

Oh, yes, I know all about it.

But then again, $10,000 might make us feel some better.

You can save the crocodile tears, Rufe.

I always heard you Crawleys drive a hard bargain.

Now, that ain't a nice thing to say, Juneau.

It's worth something to us, losing Marsha.

Yeah, it's worth a lot.

Maybe it is,

but you seem to forget Marsha can still divorce me,

and then tell what she saw.

Oh, now, you oughtn't to treat people like us that way, Jessup,

owning the Saddlehorn Saloon

and practically running the whole town of Independence.

Why, you're a rich man.

Stop whining, Rufe.

You're getting more out of this than you'd clear here in 10 years.

Meaning exactly how much?

$2,000 when she marries me,

and $1,000 a year for the next three years if she stays married.

Well, I...

You ain't over-generous, are you, Juneau?

That's a good offer, and we're takin' it.

Now, hold on, Hi.

It might be worth a lot to us to have Jessup in the family.

JESSUP: Now you're being smart.

Pop told you not to come out here.

Oh, you can't make me marry him.

I'll do anything.

I'll go away, I promise you I will.

I'll never tell anybody about seeing you shoot old man Taylor.

You'll never tell anybody nothing when I'm through with you.

Come on!

Oh, Rufe, better come down to the Saddlehorn tomorrow

and we'll finish our business.

I don't think we'll have any more trouble with Marsha.

After you two get hitched,

there won't be nobody botherin' about

who perforated old man Taylor.

MARSHA: [SOBBING] Please, Uncle Rufe, I didn't mean nothin'.

Your Taylor left some family?

Oh, just a no-good son called Cannonball.

Between us, I'm not very much worried about Cannonball Taylor.

[WHISTLING]

Cannonball! Yeah?

Be careful with that suitcase of mine.

It's the only one I've got.

Oh, I wasn't aiming to hurt it none, Bill.

[LAUGHING]

What's the matter with you, driver, for goodness sakes?

Bill, you know, I sure do appreciate

you goin' over to Independence with me

and help me straighten out things about my pappy.

Cannonball, what in the world are you packing that thing for?

You don't think I'm gonna let you square the accounts

with the men who dry-gulched my own pappy, do you?

Well, I hadn't thought about it,

but I do know this.

You've got to find him first.

What are you looking at, Bill?

Have you got that newspaper I was reading?

We'd better get aboard.

I have an idea this is going to be a very interesting trip.

[SHOUTING COMMAND]

[WHIP CRACKS]

Hey, driver, wait a minute.

[LAUGHING]

I forgot the most important piece of my baggage, driver.

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

[WHIP CRACKS]

♪ Have you heard about the big adventure ♪

♪ Happened on a stagecoach long ago? ♪

♪ He got on at Dallas ♪

♪ She got on at Wallace ♪

♪ I read it in the paper, so I know ♪

♪ They were passin' through ♪

♪ They were strangers, too ♪

♪ And the trip was mighty long ♪

♪ The whole darn ride, they were side by side ♪

♪ While the stage went bumping along ♪

[WHISTLING]

♪ She was young and shy and he winked his eye ♪

♪ As he whistled her a song ♪

♪ Then pretty quick, they were getting thick ♪

♪ While the stage went bumping along ♪

[WHISTLING]

♪ The chassis swayed, the horses neighed ♪

♪ The wheels went bumpety-bump ♪

♪ He held her hand, and like a band ♪

♪ His heart went thumpety-thump ♪

♪ So they stopped the hack at the parson's shack ♪

♪ And he tied them good and strong ♪

♪ Then back they climbed and they pulled the blind ♪

♪ While the stage went bumping along ♪

♪ While the stage went bumping along ♪

♪ Along ♪

♪ The stage went bumping along ♪

[SIGHS] Boy, wasn't that good?

I'm glad you got that out of your system

'cause there ain't gonna be anymore.

Anybody got a match?

You got a match?

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't hear you.

I was kind of interested in this paper.

That's all you've done since we left Pawnee.

Must be mighty interesting reading.

It is.

All about this fellow they say is the toughest man west of Kansas.

Must be a pretty tough hombre from what it says here.

Say what his name was?

Cash Jennings.

Doesn't happen to be a picture of him there with that writing, does there?

No.

But I can give you a pretty good description of him.

Go ahead.

Well, he's about 6'2"

and weighs about 210.

That might fit anybody.

Yes, but this fellow's got black hair and wears a mustache.

And when last seen,

wore a checked shirt with a vest, black pants,

and carried a white pearl-handled Colt.

Come to think of it, that description might fit you.

I'm waiting to hear you say that it doesn't.

No harm meant.

I was just telling you what it says here in the paper about Jennings.

You weren't thinking of catching up with Jennings

and turning him in, were you?

No, I wasn't doing what you might call thinkin',

but I was kind of playin' with the idea.

Maybe somethin' changed your mind?

CASH: I said that maybe you'd changed your mind?

Driver, pull up at the station ahead.

Somebody is gettin' out.

I never change my mind without a good reason, Jennings.

Never try that with a man who's got his mind made up.

I'll take your gun.

Whoa. Whoa.

All right, Cash, step out.

Thanks, Cannonball.

I knew that rifle would be good for something.

Who was doing the shooting?

My friend here.

Gentlemen, here's a man I'm sure you'll be pleased to meet,

Cash Jennings.

Cash Jennings?

Why, you're right.

We've been looking for him for a long time.

Take care of him, Buell.

We appreciate that kind of service,

right on our front doorstep.

Who shall we say delivered that surprise package?

Well, it doesn't make much difference now that you've got him.

We're in kind of a hurry to get to Independence

and if you won't mind, we'll get rolling.

Well, thanks, anyway.

[DRIVER SHOUTING COMMANDS]

That serves that big galoot right.

Don't like my singing. He gives me a big pain.

Hey, Bill, look at that boy and that girl riding double.

That ain't the way we done our courting back in Georgia.

Well, they don't look too happy for a courting couple.

No, sir.

There's a Texas brand on that horse that boy was ridin',

and that girl didn't seem at all happy.

Whoa.

[CHUCKLES] She ain't gonna throw me this time.

[GRUNTS]

No, it didn't throw you.

You can get yourself tangled up

more than any man I ever saw.

[SIGHS]

You know, Bill, I ain't really clumsy.

[LAUGHING]

Just unlucky, that's all.

Hey, Pop, Pop, Peale's riding into town right now.

Marsha's with him.

I'll teach that young feller a lesson he never will forget.

And when I get through with her this time,

she won't never run away no more.

They're laying for that same boy and girl we passed back on the road.

Johnny! Johnny.

So we caught you anyhow.

A fine business, running away from your own kin.

Bringing shame on your whole family.

But I'll teach you...

Don't touch her with that quirt.

Say, this here's my own niece,

and that there young squirt,

why, he ain't no better than a... a kidnapper.

That's what he is, a kidnapper.

If I was you, mister, I'd just keep out of this.

Hey, Bill, I'm kind of needing me some advice here.

I don't know whether I should shoot that old coot first

or this big bull here with that gun

or should I nail that little skinny lizard with the knife.

Sorry, Cannonball,

but if there's to be any shooting, I'm feeling kind of selfish.

Well, I ain't letting this hammer down slow

unless they put away that knife there and that gun.

Why, I wasn't aiming to hit her with the quirt.

What is this anyhow?

We don't stand for no gunplay in this town.

It's mighty nice of you to tell these gentlemen.

Marshal, we're preferring charges of kidnapping against him.

He went and stole Marsha away.

It is not true, Marshal.

I went off with Johnny of my own...

Hey, Bill, what's that old coot trying to do, commit suicide?

You quit threatening people with that there rifle.

Put it away, Cannonball.

The marshal sounds mighty convincing.

Don't worry about him, Marshal.

What about this boy?

Well, kidnapping's a mighty serious charge in this territory.

Then if I were you, I'd take your prisoner and lock him up

where he'll be safe.

It's a good thing for you the circuit judge gets in town tomorrow,

a mighty good thing. Come on.

Let's go, Cannonball.

A stranger in town is apt to be judged by the company he keeps.

He can't talk to us like that.

He did.

Somebody better tell Jessup.

Pa and me will go over.

You take Marsha out to the ranch and see that that's where she stays.

Come on, Pa.

Find her?

Yeah, we found her, all right.

The marshal's got Peale locked up.

And Dade took the girl back to the ranch.

All right, we'll have the wedding tomorrow.

You'd better, and quick.

Why, what's the hurry?

You tell him.

Well, Hi means that...

Taylor's son come back to town.

Cannonball?

I've never seen him before,

but the fellow with him called him Cannonball.

Yeah, and the tall hombre that's backing his play don't scare easy.

He don't scare at all.

Well, neither do I.

Who is he? What's his name?

The only name we heard was Bill.

Don't know the rest of it.

He looks like a mighty handy man with the irons, Juneau.

I told you I didn't scare.

As for bills, well, I always make a point of paying mine off personally.

[LAUGHING]

You hear that, Hi? That's a good one.

He pays his bills personal.

I don't think he'll find it quite so funny.

I'll bet he won't.

Bill, you still ain't told me where we're goin'.

You ain't forgotten what we come over here for, have you?

No, but the reception we got when we arrived in town

was kind of interesting.

Yeah, but me, I always say, one thing at a time.

I'm afraid that won't work here, Cannonball.

You see, I have never yet seen just one bad apple in a barrel.

Well, I'm just a buck private in this here man's army.

Where we going, General?

Right now, I'm going over and talk to that gent

who wears the marshal's badge.

Well, he ain't going to tell you nothing, not him.

You never can tell.

The town lawman might be able to tell us a little bit

about why things happen,

and maybe who gunned down your dad.

Good afternoon, Marshal.

What's the idea in sneaking in here?

I thought we should get better acquainted.

What's your name?

Bemis. Bemis?

Hickok is my name. Bill Hickok.

Not Wild Bill Hickok?

Folks have got to calling me that.

Folks who didn't agree with me.

But I'm really a peaceable man.

Looking for something, Marshal?

Yeah. Where's that other feller?

The one who looks like a groundhog and packs a rifle.

Oh, he's watching you.

Huh?

Let me tell you, Hickok, I'm the marshal of this here town

and I don't stand for no gun-toting shenanigans.

Then maybe you weren't around when Dan Taylor was dry-gulched.

Taylor? What has he got to do with it?

I was just wondering.

I got a good mind to throw you in the calaboose.

I find fault with both those statements.

Both them statements?

Whether you've got a good mind or not is open to proof.

And furthermore, I doubt whether you could put me in that calaboose.

What are you after anyhow?

I want to see your prisoner.

He ain't allowed no visitors.

I'm not a visitor. I'm his lawyer.

Well, he ain't told me about no lawyer,

and if he ain't told me, he ain't got none.

Weren't you just asking about my assistant,

the one with the gun?

Well, all right,

but don't you try no tricks, because I'll be watchin'.

CANNONBALL: And don't you try any tricks either, Marshal,

'cause I'll be watchin', too.

Peale, this feller says he's your lawyer.

I hope you don't mind, Marshal,

but I want to talk to my client alone.

Peale, there are a few questions I'd like to ask you.

I don't want any lawyer.

But you've got one.

Who are you, anyway?

Right now that doesn't make much difference.

Son, there's a question in my mind

as to whether you're ever coming to trial.

What are you drivin' at?

I've got an idea there are a couple of people in this town

who'd rather not hear what you've got to say in court.

Oh, they wouldn't dare do that.

I believe I can help you, if you'll let me.

How?

Well, I don't know yet,

but first, you've got to do a lot of talking,

and I want the truth from you, Peale.

Why are they so anxious to keep you and the girl from getting married?

I can't tell you that.

Please, you've got to understand me.

I'm trying to understand,

but you're not making much sense.

It would make sense if you knew Jessup.

Jessup? Who's he?

No, I'm not saying anything.

Marsha wouldn't be safe a minute.

Well, what I can't figure out is what Marsha has to do with this fellow Jessup.

Don't keep asking me.

I tell you, I just can't tell you.

Well, all right, son.

What's your name?

Finney, sir.

Abel Finney, Jr.

[CANNONBALL LAUGHING]

Abel Finney, Jr. Ain't that a funny name, Bill?

And can you imagine, he says he's the prosecuting attorney

for this sink of iniquity.

Bandits.

Threatening qualified servants of the law,

invading the premises.

Cannonball, put that gun down.

Don't you know you shouldn't threaten qualified servants of the law

and invade the premises?

You've got to treat officers with respect.

Oh, Bill, I was just entertaining them.

I was telling them about the time

I scalped old George Mackus by mistake.

You're to blame for this.

Oh, Mr. Prosecutor, surely you must know

that every man is innocent until proved guilty.

Certainly I know it.

If there's anything I know, it's the law.

Well, in that case, I'd be very careful

before I accused anybody of being responsible for anything.

I came here to see my client.

Your client?

Yes. I'm representing Johnny Peale,

and if you're interested, I'm holding both you and the marshal responsible

for his appearance in court tomorrow

and for the conduct of a proper trial.

Oh, Bill, good night.

I was just going to tell them about the

time I heaved the hand-axe at Billy Barton

and threw it just a little high

and put a dadgum part right down the middle of the hair.

Maybe they'd rather hear it another time, Cannonball.

Now, if you'll just load that rifle,

maybe we can kill one bird for two crimes.

[LAUGHING]

[PLAYING HARMONICA]

There's two of them now.

Well, let's go then.

Where do you think you're goin'?

Oh, I just thought I'd go to bed.

What for? It's early yet.

Better sit down and wait till Pop gets back.

Oh, please, Dade,

if he wants to see me, h-he can wake me up.

I'm not going to try and run off.

You'd better not.

Stay here and keep your eye on your friend in there.

Why did you come out here?

Has anything happened to Johnny?

No, ma'am, not yet.

You see, I want to help you two,

but he's afraid of what may happen to you if he talks.

Oh, he shouldn't be afraid.

They wouldn't dare do anything to me.

Johnny seems to think they might.

What's Jessup got to do with this?

Well, if one of you doesn't start to talk,

there's not going to be much I'll be able to do.

HICKOK: You want to marry him, don't you?

MARSHA: Oh, yes, that's where we were going when they caught us.

You can't marry a man who's in jail for life,

or what's worse, never gets a chance to stand trial.

[CHOKING]

Bill!

Bill!

Bill!

[GRUNTING]

RED: What do you think of the trial tomorrow?

JOE: I don't see any sense in trying a case like that, anyhow.

You're right. A 100% right.

Well, if the Crawleys go down to jail and hold their own trial

before the judge gets here,

it'll not only save the county expense,

but it'll save them having a family shame like that aired in open court.

If I was one of the Crawleys, I'd have that young Peale tied to a tree right now.

JOE: Just let 'em say the word, I'll help 'em.

RED: That's right.

[MEN CLAMORING] JESSUP: Now, now, wait a minute, boys, wait a minute.

I wasn't recommending anything.

I was just sort of, well, thinkin' out loud.

You don't mind if I think out loud, do you?

No, I never object to a man thinkin',

as long as he's careful how he thinks.

I never worry much about my thinkin'.

It just kind of takes care of itself.

And now let me introduce my assistant,

Cannonball Taylor.

[GUN COCKING]

And I'd like to introduce myself.

My name is Bill Hickok.

Hickok?

Sorry, it doesn't mean a thing to me.

Do you mind if I give you a word of advice?

Not at all.

I understand that this afternoon you interested yourself

in something that didn't concern you.

It might not have concerned me at the time.

Well, Hickok, it doesn't concern you now.

We welcome strangers in Independence,

but we see to it that they mind their own business.

I'm a lawyer, Mr. Jessup,

and a part of my business is drawing up wills

for men who haven't got long to live.

Have you made your will, Jessup?

I don't think there's any hurry about that.

Another part of my business is conducting trials.

And there's going to be a trial tomorrow.

I hope that makes sense to you.

You men are being smart.

This gun goes off with a hurrah and a bang.

I hate to interfere with your plans, Jessup,

but it would be unwise for anyone,

anyone at all, to leave this place within the next few minutes.

[SIGHS]

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

They're here, Jessup.

Be right out.

You boys stay around the place. I may need you.

Okay.

Well, where's Dade?

He got shot up last night.

Red, take her over to court and keep an eye on her.

That won't be hard to do. Come on.

What's going to happen if things don't turn out right in court?

I told you I'd take care of you, didn't I?

All you've got to do when they get you on

the stand is what I told you last night.

That talk's easy, Jessup,

but those lawyers can ask a lot of embarrassing questions.

I almost hope this one does.

Why do you say that?

Because the sooner he opens his mouth,

the sooner I'm going to stick my foot in it, boot and all.

You coming over?

No, not yet.

If anything happens, Red will let me know.

The old man would feel better if you was there.

I'll be there when I'm needed.

I'm waiting for some boys to show up, boys I can trust.

Nice day for a trial, isn't it, gentlemen?

I'm gonna kill that man.

Maybe you'll get your chance.

[ALL CHATTERING]

[GAVEL BANGING]

CLERK: Everybody get up.

This here court, Judge Plunkett presiding,

is now open for business.

Everybody sit down.

[GAVEL BANGS]

[ALL CHATTERING]

Quiet! Quiet!

Take your hats off.

This is Circuit Court Number 12

and I am in full charge of the same.

Now if there's any doubt in your minds about that,

just pay attention to this 10 gauge.

It's loaded with a buckshot.

My wife tells me I ain't got much patience,

and she's right.

I don't stand for no swearing or hollering or taking on in my court.

So if you see anybody with an impulse like that,

you'd better stop 'em quick

because when this blows, she blows awful wide.

Oh, yeah, I just recollected,

this town's got a reputation that smells to the high heavens.

I aim to clear that atmosphere before I leave here today.

Now, this here is a kidnapping case.

Well, I don't know much about kidnapping,

but I promise you I'll do a bang-up job.

You lawyers ready?

The prosecution is ready.

The defense is ready.

Well, then what are we waiting for?

Let's hear your case.

Oh, yeah, we got to have a jury.

Hey, you 12 men over there on my right there in those two aisles, stand up.

Any of you drunk or half-witted

or got an impediment that'll keep you from thinking straight?

All right, you're the jury.

Sit over here.

You got through the gate first. You're foreman.

Sit there on the end.

Now, keep your ears open and your mouths shut

and we'll get along all right.

Either one of you lawyers want to challenge any of these jurors?

No!

All right, let's hear your case.

[CLEARING THROAT]

Your Honor,

we intend to prove that the defendant, said John Peale...

Don't tell me what you intend to prove. Just prove it.

Well, but, Your Honor...

Do you want to hear a lot of hot air

about what he intends to prove?

No, Your Honor.

I'm quite satisfied that the court is well able

to judge the merits of this case without any unnecessary conversation.

And don't you go to wasting my time with any long speeches.

Of course not, Your Honor,

and just so we don't waste any more of the court's time,

I'd like some bench warrants issued now so that I can summon my witnesses.

I object! Your Honor, he can't do that!

Get off the platform!

He can't, huh?

Clerk, give this here lawyer them bench warrants he wants.

Hey, take off your hat.

Who are you?

My assistant, Your Honor.

I'd like him to serve these bench warrants.

All right, but tell him to keep his hat off in my court.

Yes, Your Honor. Keep your hat off in the courtroom.

And you, Mr. Prosecutor, if you got any witnesses,

get 'em up here on the stand.

FINNEY: Your Honor, my first witness will be Mr. Rufus Crawley.

PLUNKETT: All right, get him up here in the chair and swear him in.

What's up? Hickok's trying to pull something.

Well, don't stand there like a dummy. Start talkin'.

He's getting the judge to sign some sort of papers,

warrants or something for witnesses.

Witnesses? Why, he's got no witnesses.

Must be some sort of a trick.

That's why I come out and told you.

I don't know who his witnesses are,

but I know a way to take care of 'em.

Come on inside.

Joe, get my gun.

Hank, Shorty, come here, all of you.

Hickok's just gotten warrants to bring in some witnesses.

I want you all to go over and cover every window in that courthouse.

I'm going over to court now myself.

Keep your eyes glued on me, and if things don't seem to be going my way,

I'll give you a signal.

I want you to start that crowd yelling to string up Peale.

That ain't gonna be so easy.

Some of those people may think he's innocent.

You just get the thing started.

I'll handle the rest. Now beat it.

Now, Mr. Crawley, you say you are the girl's legal guardian?

That's just what I am.

And you were her guardian on the morning of March the 16th?

Now, let me see...

If Crawley knows anything about this case,

let him say it himself.

Look here, Crawley, if you got any testimony this court wants to hear,

get it out of your system.

Otherwise, you can step down.

FINNEY: Go ahead, Mr. Crawley.

I'm sure the court will overlook your nervousness after all you've been through.

Well, there ain't much to tell.

This here no-good Peale come out and made Marsha a lot of fancy promises.

Then he waited for his chance.

As soon as our backs was turned,

he grabbed her and made off with her.

Why, that lying old devil.

There he sits now, him and his fancy lawyer,

laughing at the shame he brought on Marsha and us.

Is that the whole story?

FINNEY: Well, these are the barest facts of the case, Your Honor.

There's a great deal more I wish to bring

out to color it for you so that you may...

Get off my desk.

I ain't interested in no colors.

Facts is what I want, and facts is what I'm going to get.

You got any more to say?

You want to ask this here witness any questions?

HICKOK: Yes, Your Honor.

Go to it.

[ALL CHATTERING]

There's Callie.

My wife, too.

Silence! Silence! What is all this?

Who are these women?

If you'll permit me, Your Honor,

these ladies are my witnesses.

Your Honor, I object!

Why, this is a travesty on the law.

I told you to keep off my platform!

Objection overruled. Shut up.

[ALL LAUGHING]

Quiet! Quiet! Quiet.

I'm through talkin'.

But, Your Honor... Sit down!

There you are, Bill, all six of 'em.

The rest of the jury ain't even married.

And here's the old buzzard's whip.

I want you to keep your eye on Jessup.

I'd kind of like him to stay here.

Jessup.

If I may, Your Honor, I think I can explain this.

Explain it?

Why, Your Honor, these ladies are wives of six of the jury.

This is an outrage!

I think the jurors can judge for themselves whether that's an outrage.

[PEOPLE CHUCKLING]

What'd you bring them into court for, mister?

As witnesses.

But, Your Honor, he can't do that!

For once you're right!

Look here, young fellow,

I've been pretty lenient with you so far

because you've been smart enough not to yell at me

like I was in the next county.

But you can't get away with this.

HICKOK: Well, in that case, Your Honor,

you might as well sentence the boy

without listening to anything he might say in his own defense.

What's that?

There is no question

that Marsha Crawley ran off with my client.

You mean you're entering a plea of guilty.

Far from it, Your Honor.

I said that Miss Crawley ran off with my client.

And I'm sure that these six ladies can convince the court

that she had good reason to.

Your Honor, I object!

This is irrelevant, immaterial

and has no bearing whatsoever on the case!

Look here, mister,

you hear what I said about hollering before?

A-And that's enough of that kind of language.

How do you expect to get a fair decision from a jury

when you got half their wives on your side?

I was depending on the court's sense of justice to instruct the jury

that their relationship to these witnesses must bear no weight.

Of course, if the court would rather not...

Who said the court would rather not?

All we're interested in is the... is the truth.

Realizing that, Your Honor,

is the reason I summoned these ladies.

To help the court get at the truth.

I felt that they would be of great benefit

serving, Your Honor, as expert witnesses.

Expert? What kind of experts are they?

I feel that even the prosecutor will grant that they are qualified

to judge whether my client forced Miss Crawley into running away.

Well, I don't know what you're getting at, young fella,

but go ahead for the time being.

Thank you, Your Honor.

Crawley, is this your quirt?

Why, I... It, uh...

Answer yes or no.

You stole it and I'll have the law on you!

Look here, Crawley,

you're gonna get more law than you can shake a stick at,

if you don't stop that hog-calling in my court!

Now, is it or is it not your quirt?

Yes. Yes what?

Yes, Judge.

Who asked you to be polite?

I mean, is it, yes, it is your quirt, or, no, it ain't?

It belongs to me.

I'd like to enter this as Exhibit A for the defense.

You got any objections?

Accepted.

[ALL LAUGHING]

HICKOK: Thank you, Your Honor.

And now I'd like to introduce Exhibit B.

Exhibit B, Miss Marsha Crawley.

I, Your Honor... I... I...

PLUNKETT: You what?

I object.

You object to what?

Trying to make an exhibit out of a person.

He can't do that.

He can't?

Why, certainly, Your Honor, he can't.

Well, since you know so much,

maybe you can point me out the law that says that?

Well, no, Your Honor, but it stands to reason.

Not to my reason, it don't.

Son, what are you trying to get at?

The quirt and the girl are the two things

I'd like to have examined by the expert witnesses.

And if it pleases the court,

since these ladies are of unquestionable integrity,

I'd like to suggest that they conduct

their examination in the anteroom.

I object! I object!

That's one trick he ain't gonna get away with.

Maybe you can tell me why?

Because the law says the witnesses ain't allowed

to take the evidence out of the court unless they're watched.

Finney, are you insinuating

that my wife can't be trusted without being watched?

Yeah, how about that?

Yeah, what about that? You know so much.

Can he or can't he?

Well, maybe he can.

This court don't take no maybes.

Can he or can't he?

Well, I guess, um... I mean, he can.

And you ain't got no objections?

[SIGHS]

No objections.

Ladies, you take these two exhibits into the next room

and get back here as quick as you can.

[ALL CHATTERING]

[GUN COCKS]

We don't want you to leave yet.

If the court pleases,

would you appoint one of these ladies to speak for the group?

You ladies all in agreement?

We sure are, Judge, and we got plenty to say.

Then you can step right up here in the chair and have your say.

Clerk, stop wasting time. Swear in the witness.

FINNEY: This is highly irregular, Your Honor.

You'll get your chance.

Do you swear to tell the truth,

and nothing but the truth, so help you God?

I do.

HICKOK: Did you examine the body of Miss Marsha Crawley?

CALLIE: You bet we did.

Hey, Mr. Judge, look who's trying to sneak out.

I'll judge the whole lot of you.

What do you mean yelling out in open court?

I believe, Your Honor, he was only calling your attention

to the fact that Crawley's son might be needed here later.

Crawley's son, eh?

You're staying right in this courtroom, brother. Sit right down there.

I believe you had two exhibits to examine.

Will you tell the court exactly what you found in those examinations?

That girl was beat with this quirt.

That's what we found.

Welts on her shoulders and arms as big as my finger.

What?

Who done that?

Why didn't you tell me that?

Jessup said not to.

Your Honor...

Objection overruled.

Oh, I... I wasn't objecting, Your Honor.

PLUNKETT: You wasn't?

No, I simply wanted to tell you that I would like to withdraw from this case.

Oh, you would, would you?

There are certain phases of this case that I was not familiar with.

Mister, there's a lot of things you ain't familiar with.

And one thing is, you ain't backing out of this now.

You started it, didn't you?

There's no law that says I have to stay here.

Oh, there ain't, huh?

Ever hear of contempt of court?

Yes, but you can't...

There, now you done it!

Marshal, I sentence this galoot to 30 days for contempt of court.

Take him away.

You can't lock up the prosecutor.

No.

What's your name?

Marshal Bemis.

Well, get him out of here, or for the next six months

you ain't going to have a name, just a number.

I'm gonna appeal that 30 days.

Another 30 days. Second offense. Appeal that, too.

[ALL CHATTERING]

Quiet! Quiet!

Young fella, you're nothing but an out-and-out slicker.

[CHUCKLING]

But you get results.

Thank you, Your Honor.

Now is there anything else you found or wish to tell the court?

I got a few things to tell,

and they're all aimed at that good-for-nothing I'm married to.

That girl was no more kidnapped

than I was when I married you.

And if you want to live home anymore,

you better decide this case right.

Now don't get excited, Callie.

The jury's got nothing to do with it.

This is a plain case of perjury.

Charges against Johnny Peale dismissed.

[ALL CHEERING]

And I sentence Rufe Crawley to 10 years in the calaboose for lying in my court.

[ALL CHEERING]

Quiet!

Quiet! Quiet! Quiet!

And I'm just getting started.

Your Honor, there's another case I'd like to try

which does not appear on the docket.

Oh, letting your success get to your head, huh?

I don't consider the case just tried

turned out as it did because of me.

I was only interested in bringing out the truth.

Well, what's this other case?

Before I mention it,

I'd like to call your attention to the fact

that this court is without a marshal or a prosecutor.

Yeah, I know that.

And in order to try this case I have in mind,

it'll be necessary to have both.

I'd like to volunteer the services of myself and Cannonball Taylor

to fill those posts temporarily.

Well, I ain't appointing any officers till

I find out what you're getting at first.

We have a witness in court, Miss Marsha Crawley,

who can prove that Dan Taylor was murdered a few weeks ago by Juneau Jessup.

[ALL CLAMORING]

What's going on out there?

Never mind. Get the cash box.

We're making tracks out of here.

Look out! The back door.

[RIFLE FIRES]

Cannonball.

Wait, this is my job.

[GUN FIRING]

Oh, Judge, about Jessup.

Oh, shooting Jessup was a public service.

Besides, it saved the state a lot of money.

We don't have to feed him.

Don't bother me about that now.

I've gotta make out this wedding license.

[ACCORDION PLAYING WEDDING MARCH]

[CHUCKLES]

Oh, uh, telegram for you, Bill.

The wedding license is all ready.

All you two have to do is sign it.

♪ Ro-ro rollin' ♪

♪ A cowboy's got to keep rollin' ♪

♪ When his job is done with the settin' sun ♪

♪ He goes ro-ro rollin' ♪

♪ No back-slidin' ♪

♪ A cowboy's got to keep ridin' ♪

♪ He don't grow no roots on his high-heeled boots ♪

♪ He goes ro-ro rollin' ♪

♪ Ladies, ladies ♪

♪ Take a tip from me ♪

♪ A cowboy husband ♪

♪ Don't come with a guarantee ♪

♪ He may marry ♪

♪ But don't expect him to tarry ♪

♪ When he sees a horse, he's a total loss ♪

♪ He goes ro-ro rollin' ♪

[ALL LAUGHING]

Well, Cannonball,

I'm afraid we're not even gonna be able to stay for the wedding.

Oh, but you must.

Someone's got to give the bride away, Hickok.

There's nothing I'd like better,

but Cash Jennings broke out of jail.

I turned him in, and it's my job to get him back.

I wish there was some way we could show our appreciation.

Oh, forget it.

Hickok, there's one thing I want to know before you leave.

If I can ever be of service to the court?

Where did you become a counselor-at-law?

Well, I'm afraid someone must have misquoted me.

You see, I said that I was a counselor at gun law.

Counselor at gun...

[ALL LAUGHING]

That's a hot one.