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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:34,410 --> 00:00:36,452 (THUNDER CRASHING) 2 00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:11,070 ANNOUNCER ON TV: Defy reason. Defy everything you know. 3 00:01:11,155 --> 00:01:13,156 (ANNOUNCER READING) 4 00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:34,260 Welcome to Fright Night. 5 00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:38,014 Onstage at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas. 6 00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:39,599 Welcome back. 7 00:01:39,683 --> 00:01:42,810 In the northern Las Vegas suburb of Hillcrest Bluffs today, 8 00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:46,439 a woman leaving a grocery store says a man came up to her 9 00:01:46,523 --> 00:01:48,024 and tried to bite her. 10 00:01:48,192 --> 00:01:50,151 He was scared off by the security guard. 11 00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:51,861 If you've seen or witnessed anything similar... 12 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:14,967 (EXCLAIMS) 13 00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:16,636 (WHIMPERS) 14 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,087 (BREATHING RAGGEDLY) 15 00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:05,852 (GASPS) 16 00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:16,237 (LOW GROWLING) 17 00:03:17,114 --> 00:03:18,114 (EXCLAIMS) 18 00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:04,493 (ENGINE STALLING) 19 00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:07,788 Really? Really? I'm going to take you apart. 20 00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:10,416 You watch me. Watch me take you apart. 21 00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:12,126 You're done. You're done. 22 00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:13,920 Nothing doing, huh? 23 00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:18,591 This thing has got no ambition. It's got no huevos. 24 00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:21,844 Doris, do you want some help with the trash? 25 00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:23,512 Oh, I got it. Thanks. 26 00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:29,018 All right. Good to see you, Char-Char. You're getting big. 27 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:40,613 Hey, kid. Don't leer at the neighbors. 28 00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:43,866 She's the one that put the word on her butt. 29 00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:44,992 I'm just reading it. 30 00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:50,122 Is he ever going to move that dumpster? 31 00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,124 Oh, Mom, come on. You got to get over it. 32 00:04:53,377 --> 00:04:54,669 Attitude. 33 00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:57,046 You've been stressed or something. 34 00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:01,175 Amy? 35 00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:04,011 Amy is good. Hasn't dumped me yet, so... 36 00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:09,141 Getting what you want can be stressful. 37 00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:12,561 Especially when you're not used to getting it. More to lose. 38 00:05:12,688 --> 00:05:16,399 You reading those books again? The Power of Whatever-the-Hell? 39 00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:19,902 Because they're definitely not working. 40 00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:21,988 And neither is this bike. 41 00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:24,657 Still tripping out over some guy's box. 42 00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:26,409 It's an eyesore. 43 00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:30,413 I'm trying to get people to move in, not join the legions leaving town. 44 00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:32,498 - I like that word. "Legions." - Hello. 45 00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,041 Can I get some help here? 46 00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:37,128 - (SIGHS) When the Perrys lived there... - When the Perrys lived there, 47 00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:40,172 they were the greatest neighbors ever, but they moved. 48 00:05:41,133 --> 00:05:43,134 I thought you were happy their house finally sold. 49 00:05:44,136 --> 00:05:47,221 He's not digging a pool, so where did all this concrete come from? 50 00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:48,681 That's a very good question. 51 00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:50,891 Maybe you should spy on him some more and find out. 52 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:55,479 He's 13 feet from our house. That's not spying. 53 00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:59,108 It's merely observing. 54 00:06:00,569 --> 00:06:03,904 - Hi, Mrs. Brewster. - Hey, honey. Hi, girls. 55 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,448 - Hi. - Hi. 56 00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:12,872 - Oh, hey, Ed called again. - Yeah? 57 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,082 I'm tired of making excuses for you, Charley. 58 00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:16,751 If you don't want to talk to him, just tell him. 59 00:06:17,002 --> 00:06:19,170 Kind of defeats the purpose. 60 00:06:19,921 --> 00:06:21,088 (SIGHS) 61 00:06:22,841 --> 00:06:26,135 - Still can't get the bike started? - No faith. 62 00:06:26,261 --> 00:06:28,679 So you don't need a ride? 63 00:06:29,848 --> 00:06:30,973 Amy! 64 00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:36,187 Amy! Oh, my God. 65 00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:38,397 Hey! 66 00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:40,316 - Charley? - Yeah. 67 00:06:40,609 --> 00:06:41,734 - Guess what? - What? 68 00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:45,321 - Guess what? We are on time. - Oh, good. 69 00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:47,573 - You stress too much. - No, I don't. 70 00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:50,201 Yeah, you do. You do your worried thing. 71 00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:52,703 - What's my "worried thing"? - Your worried thing. 72 00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:55,956 I don't have a worried thing. I never make that face. 73 00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:57,166 All the time. 74 00:06:58,168 --> 00:07:01,879 - Ladies. - Dudes. Looking good. 75 00:07:04,299 --> 00:07:06,175 Seriously? A mochaccino? 76 00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:09,553 You can't ride with the girls any more. I mean, 77 00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:12,223 you let them brush your hair, My Pretty Pony? 78 00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:13,641 Chuck's secure. 79 00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:16,185 Nice, man. Nice kicks. 80 00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:19,188 - Puce. - Fuck, yeah. 81 00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:21,107 I have track after school. I'll see you later. 82 00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:23,317 Hey, Amy, Amy. 83 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:28,739 About the prom. I was going to ask you. I just kind of figured it was a go. 84 00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:32,660 You, me, ill-fitting tuxedo. The whole thing, you know? 85 00:07:33,829 --> 00:07:36,997 No. Nobody goes to the dance in senior year. 86 00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:39,125 Okay. Yeah, I knew that. 87 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:41,085 - It's so not cool. - I know. 88 00:07:41,253 --> 00:07:43,754 - Okay, bye. - Bye. 89 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,757 (SIGHS) 90 00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:54,181 Did you find a freaking genie lamp, man? 91 00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:59,019 Make a sacrifice to the hot-ass gods? How do you get that? 92 00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:01,564 - Just game, man. - (BEN SNICKERS) 93 00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:03,691 Rock-solid game. 94 00:08:05,569 --> 00:08:07,862 - He doesn't even have a car. - Seriously. 95 00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:10,698 - GRANADA: Ben Wegener? - Here. 96 00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:12,283 Nick Straley? 97 00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:15,202 Nick? 98 00:08:16,788 --> 00:08:18,664 - Courtney Frank? - Here. 99 00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:19,999 Adam Johnson? 100 00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:22,126 Adam? 101 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,879 - Steve Danton? - Here. 102 00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:26,922 - Matt Hofstetler? - Yo. 103 00:08:27,799 --> 00:08:30,551 - Ellen Mclntosh? - Here, Ms Granada. 104 00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:32,678 Samuel Silverman? 105 00:08:32,888 --> 00:08:35,973 Holy crap, man. How did you get that? 106 00:08:36,057 --> 00:08:37,308 She's hard up, man. 107 00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:40,060 Dude, I think Ed's going to talk to us. 108 00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:42,396 Hey, can I get a minute? 109 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:44,732 Just the two of you? That's sweet! 110 00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:47,776 Now he can school you in the ways of geek-douchery. 111 00:08:47,903 --> 00:08:50,654 Nice. Don't you have some sluts to go fuck? 112 00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:52,281 Actually, yeah, I do. 113 00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:54,074 It's important, Brewster. 114 00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:01,457 What's up, Ed? 115 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,250 You know Adam's missing, right? 116 00:09:03,335 --> 00:09:04,793 What do you mean, Adam's missing? 117 00:09:05,128 --> 00:09:08,172 I keep trying him. No texts, no phone calls, nothing. 118 00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:10,174 I don't know if you were paying attention at roll call, 119 00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:11,717 but he's not the only one that's gone. 120 00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,887 Kids aren't coming to school. That happens all the time. 121 00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:16,138 What do you want me to do about it? 122 00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:17,348 Just meet me at his house after school. 123 00:09:17,599 --> 00:09:19,183 We'll check around and see if he's okay. 124 00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:21,894 I can't. I'm sorry. I'm busy. 125 00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:24,438 I don't think you understand what I'm telling you. Adam's gone. 126 00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:26,857 Do we really have to do this here? 127 00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,692 Wow. Am I supposed to not even speak to you any more? 128 00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:31,320 - Be quiet. Don't spaz out. - "Don't spaz out." 129 00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:34,823 You don't want me to spaz out? Oh, my God! It's so horrible! 130 00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:38,410 Crossing the streams! Will high school as we know it cease to exist? 131 00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:45,251 Okay. You want me to go tell your pals how well we really know each other? 132 00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:48,462 The LEGO contests, the Farscape conventions, 133 00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:50,089 - the costumes? - Please stop. 134 00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:52,174 Or how about that one time you took my Stretch Armstrong, 135 00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:54,510 so you could tie it around your balls and jerk off for an hour? 136 00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:56,971 - Stop. - Then be my backup. 137 00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:02,142 Okay, fine. Adam's after school. 138 00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:03,978 Don't be late. 139 00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:09,149 I'd really like Stretch back, by the way. 140 00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:17,491 AMY: You know what I want for dinner? 141 00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:20,953 You realize you're eating right now, right? 142 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:23,706 You just forced me to get you a smoothie so big 143 00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:25,374 that they named a planet after it. 144 00:10:27,002 --> 00:10:30,004 It's true. I'm insatiable. 145 00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:31,755 You are. 146 00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:38,929 What was that for? 147 00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:41,265 Nothing. 148 00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:46,812 JANE: I'm so sorry to take up your time. I really appreciate your help. 149 00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:50,190 Is my mom flirting? 150 00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:55,070 Hey, Charley, I'm at Adam's house, 151 00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:57,323 and it's really weird, because you're not here. 152 00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:00,326 Remember those videos of us back in the day? 153 00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:02,369 Adam, you, and I dressed in tights? 154 00:11:03,455 --> 00:11:07,124 You don't want your new pals seeing you in that, do you? All right. 155 00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:10,169 (EXHALES) 156 00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:13,380 JANE: So, not a pool? What's the work you're doing? 157 00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:16,884 JERRY: Foundation problems. I had to rip up half the basement. 158 00:11:17,052 --> 00:11:19,094 Oh, these houses were practically built overnight. 159 00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:21,221 It never surprises me when they come apart. 160 00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:23,474 This is the third time this thing has broken. 161 00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:25,768 JERRY: Done. Just needed a new stem. 162 00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:29,855 Jerry, this is my son, Charley, and his... 163 00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:32,733 I don't know. Do we say "girlfriend"? 164 00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,151 Hi, I'm Amy. 165 00:11:34,277 --> 00:11:35,778 Hey, Jerry. 166 00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:37,071 Nice to meet you. 167 00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:39,782 (CLEARING THROAT) So, Jerry is our new neighbor at the Perry place. 168 00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:42,951 - And he's handy. - No kidding. 169 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,788 I'm sorry about the mess, Charley. 170 00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:48,916 I was just saying to your mom I'll have the dumpster gone tomorrow. 171 00:11:49,918 --> 00:11:51,210 It doesn't bother me. My mom was... 172 00:11:51,336 --> 00:11:53,420 Jerry does night construction on the Strip. 173 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,172 CHARLEY: Oh. 174 00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:56,298 You play ball. 175 00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:00,094 I'm always looking for a pickup game. 176 00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:03,055 Yeah, no, I do. Definitely. 177 00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:05,057 - I do. - It's more of a collector thing, the shoes. 178 00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:08,185 He's obsessed. They sleep on sidewalks to get them. 179 00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:12,981 - I play, though. - It takes a real man to wear 180 00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:15,234 puce. 181 00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:17,319 I like them. 182 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:22,825 So, I'd invite you guys inside, but it's a mess. 183 00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,994 - I've been meaning to. - Be neighborly. 184 00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:29,706 A drink. Something. 185 00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:31,625 (MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO) 186 00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:35,879 (JERRY EXHALING) 187 00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:41,552 Soon, okay? 188 00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:43,971 Yeah, you bet. And thank you so much for the help. 189 00:12:44,222 --> 00:12:46,223 It's the least I could do. 190 00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:49,685 My God. Why did you blow him off? 191 00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:53,480 A guy that good-looking still single? Bad bet. He is a player. 192 00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:55,649 Nice, Mom, breaking it down. 193 00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:58,986 I've had enough man troubles. I am not getting suckered again. 194 00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:01,280 (CELL PHONE RINGS) 195 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:04,241 CHARLEY: Oh, wow. 196 00:13:06,161 --> 00:13:07,327 I got to go. 197 00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,955 - What? - I'll call you later. Okay? 198 00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:11,331 - Now? - Dinner's on. 199 00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:13,250 - That's fine. I'll eat after. - Charley! 200 00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:15,669 - Are you okay? - Okay, see you, guys. 201 00:13:33,521 --> 00:13:35,189 Dude, where the hell have you been? 202 00:13:35,356 --> 00:13:38,317 - You said after school. - I meant right after. This is dusk. 203 00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:40,319 - Do you know what that means? - No, I have no idea. 204 00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:43,113 - Let me consult my pocket dictionary. - Nice. 205 00:13:46,618 --> 00:13:49,328 Hello? Anybody home? 206 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:52,206 Nope. 207 00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:53,582 (RINGING DOORBELL) 208 00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:11,225 CHARLEY: This is nuts. 209 00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:14,520 ED: I really hate to be the one to tell you this, but 210 00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:16,104 that guy, your neighbor, 211 00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:18,398 he's a vampire, man. 212 00:14:19,317 --> 00:14:21,735 - My neighbor? Next door? - Yeah. 213 00:14:22,654 --> 00:14:24,112 Jerry. I just met him. 214 00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:25,739 Okay. Jerry. 215 00:14:26,074 --> 00:14:28,534 That is a terrible vampire name. Jerry? 216 00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:32,204 I didn't name him, man. I'm just reporting the facts. 217 00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:37,709 Dude. 218 00:14:48,513 --> 00:14:49,555 (WHISPERING) Hello? 219 00:14:51,975 --> 00:14:53,016 Adam? 220 00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:54,309 (STOMPING HEAVILY) 221 00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:56,478 (SHUSHING) 222 00:14:58,690 --> 00:15:00,732 Yo. It's Ed. 223 00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:03,694 (EXCLAIMING) 224 00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:09,157 - Jesus. - I feel stupid. It's a cardboard cut-out. 225 00:15:09,701 --> 00:15:11,326 Nice. 226 00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:15,289 - They're not here, dude. - It's not just them, okay? Listen to me. 227 00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:18,125 I saw this thing on channel 13 where there was this lady 228 00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:20,711 who escaped an attacker that tried to bite her. 229 00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:22,421 Why are you walking like that? 230 00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:28,677 All right. Listen. 231 00:15:30,555 --> 00:15:33,974 Adam and I graphed out all the attacks, all the disappearances. 232 00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:36,018 - Whole families, gone. - That happens all the time. 233 00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:37,978 Nobody lives in Vegas, they just pass through. 234 00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:39,605 You live in Vegas. 235 00:15:39,731 --> 00:15:43,191 That's you right there in the center, next to his house and Perry's old place. 236 00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:45,777 His windows are completely blacked out. 237 00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:47,529 Lots of people have blacked-out windows. 238 00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:49,573 They work on the Strip at night, sleep during the day. 239 00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:51,783 Which is why it's the perfect plan. It fits! 240 00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:54,077 What? That Jerry's a Dracula? 241 00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:57,122 No. Dracula is one specific vampire. I'm telling you... 242 00:15:57,248 --> 00:16:01,293 Dude, I know what you're telling me. I'm making fun of you. I'm mocking you. 243 00:16:01,419 --> 00:16:03,795 - Awesome. - You read way too much Twilight. 244 00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:06,256 That's fiction. This is real. 245 00:16:06,424 --> 00:16:07,507 He's a real monster, 246 00:16:07,592 --> 00:16:10,385 and he's not brooding, or lovesick, or noble. 247 00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:12,804 He's the fucking shark from Jaws. 248 00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:16,600 He kills, he feeds, and he doesn't stop until everybody around him is dead. 249 00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:19,645 And I seriously am so angry you think I read Twilight. 250 00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:26,109 (FAINT THUD) 251 00:16:26,194 --> 00:16:29,154 Ed? Ed? 252 00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:32,032 You haven't asked him in yet, have you? 253 00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:33,492 Because obviously he can't get in 254 00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:35,118 without an invitation. I know you know that. 255 00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:37,537 - You're on drugs, dude. - No, well... Yeah. 256 00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:39,289 But I thought you'd take my word on this, man. 257 00:16:39,374 --> 00:16:40,457 I have hard evidence at home. 258 00:16:41,084 --> 00:16:42,125 Okay. 259 00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:47,547 All right. Listen. We have to stake him in his nest, okay? 260 00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:50,842 Me and you. But not now. It's too dark. 261 00:16:51,135 --> 00:16:52,177 We should go during the day. 262 00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:53,637 That's what I read on Peter Vincent's website. 263 00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:55,681 - The magician? - Yeah. 264 00:16:56,391 --> 00:16:58,517 The magician in the bandana and the leather pants and... 265 00:16:58,685 --> 00:16:59,810 - Yes. ...tattoos and... 266 00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:02,104 Yes. He's the master of dark forces. 267 00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:05,565 He studies vampire methodology. What else do you need? 268 00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:07,484 - Wow. - Wow. 269 00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:13,740 Can we just pretend for one minute that you're not a complete douchebag? 270 00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,492 Evil, this was fun when we were eight. 271 00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:17,911 - Try 16. - Whatever, man! 272 00:17:18,246 --> 00:17:20,539 Point is I grew up. If you don't want to, that's fine, 273 00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:23,417 but don't get an attitude because I'd rather have a life than make shit up. 274 00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:27,212 I get it. You're so cool, Brewster. 275 00:17:27,338 --> 00:17:29,423 Go ahead and join your Clark High early peakers, 276 00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:31,550 - and that includes your girlfriend. - Shut up. 277 00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:34,261 She's undeniably doable, yes, I will give you that, 278 00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:36,221 but we used to make fun of her and her friends. 279 00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:38,265 - She's a skank. We used to make fun... - Shut up! 280 00:17:46,357 --> 00:17:48,775 Adam's gone and you act like you don't give a shit! 281 00:17:51,154 --> 00:17:52,696 What the fuck happened to you? 282 00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:54,531 We were inseparable. 283 00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:58,285 You know when my life started to get better? 284 00:17:58,453 --> 00:18:00,370 When I stopped being friends with you. 285 00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:12,883 (SNIFFS) 286 00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:18,430 What a fucking asshole. 287 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:22,684 (EXCLAIMS) 288 00:18:25,313 --> 00:18:26,354 Goddamn. 289 00:18:28,983 --> 00:18:32,569 - Why are you on my street, bro? - Sorry. I'm really sorry about that. 290 00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:34,821 You tracked your nerd juice all the way down it. 291 00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:38,241 Really? Looks like I tracked some nerd juice on your face there. 292 00:18:38,326 --> 00:18:41,286 Oh, yeah? Do I still got some? Still there? 293 00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:42,662 Okay. 294 00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:46,082 Just hit me. Really, I don't have time for this. 295 00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:47,375 Seriously? 296 00:18:47,502 --> 00:18:49,878 Jesus, I just gave you a fucking invitation to hit me. 297 00:18:50,213 --> 00:18:51,546 You just gave me an invitation... 298 00:18:53,424 --> 00:18:54,591 MARK: (EXCLAIMING) Oh! 299 00:18:54,675 --> 00:18:58,178 (IN GRUFF VOICE) You better run, boy! I'm coming! You better run! 300 00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:12,526 (LAUGHS) 301 00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:14,444 Unbelievable. 302 00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:32,921 Shit! 303 00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:36,675 You back the fuck up! I'm armed! I know how to use this thing! 304 00:19:38,052 --> 00:19:40,637 Hello! Please! Please, somebody let me in! 305 00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:43,014 Someone's after me right now! Please! 306 00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:45,642 Help me! God damn it! 307 00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:59,990 Forget it, Jerry. No invitation. You can't get in. 308 00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:04,828 Oh, shit. 309 00:20:05,788 --> 00:20:09,916 Abandoned. I thought you did your homework. 310 00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:12,669 You've been watching me. 311 00:20:15,131 --> 00:20:18,758 I've been watching you. It seems fair. 312 00:20:29,020 --> 00:20:30,854 (WHISTLING OMINOUSLY) 313 00:20:32,523 --> 00:20:33,899 (SNIFFS) 314 00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:02,594 Shit, shit. 315 00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:05,555 That looked like it hurt. 316 00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:06,932 (SCREAMS) 317 00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:18,902 You bit off more than you can chew. 318 00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:22,072 It's too late. I told people what you are. You've been made! 319 00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:25,742 And you think anyone's actually going to believe you. 320 00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:28,411 Don't play that crap, don't play that mind shit with me. 321 00:21:28,496 --> 00:21:29,788 I'm serious. Try me! 322 00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:31,831 Okay. 323 00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:40,048 You say you're glad you're different. 324 00:21:40,383 --> 00:21:44,052 - Get back! - How can you be in a place like this? 325 00:21:44,387 --> 00:21:48,014 These people, even your best friend, 326 00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:50,350 - you're nothing to him now. - No. 327 00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:53,478 You were born for this. 328 00:21:54,397 --> 00:21:55,689 And you know it. 329 00:21:58,567 --> 00:21:59,818 It's a gift. 330 00:22:25,011 --> 00:22:26,469 Good on his word. 331 00:22:30,016 --> 00:22:31,725 Kid Comeback! 332 00:22:33,019 --> 00:22:34,519 Gladiator Man! 333 00:22:35,021 --> 00:22:36,521 Squid Man! 334 00:22:37,106 --> 00:22:39,149 ED: Come at me if you dare! CHARLEY: I dare! 335 00:22:43,404 --> 00:22:45,155 ED: What can you do now, Squid Man? 336 00:22:46,282 --> 00:22:47,615 (GROANING) 337 00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:52,620 - Hey, you. - Is Charley up yet? 338 00:22:53,497 --> 00:22:56,833 You try. My voice seems to be on some frequency he can't hear. 339 00:22:57,418 --> 00:22:58,501 Charley! 340 00:22:58,794 --> 00:23:00,754 The world is Kid Comeback's! 341 00:23:00,921 --> 00:23:02,589 (LAUGHING EVILLY) 342 00:23:02,673 --> 00:23:04,632 (CHARLEY ROARING) 343 00:23:04,717 --> 00:23:06,634 ED: No, you're already dead. No, you're already dead. 344 00:23:06,761 --> 00:23:07,802 Coming! 345 00:23:09,555 --> 00:23:11,181 - GRANADA: Eden Miller? - Here. 346 00:23:12,183 --> 00:23:13,224 Ed Lee? 347 00:23:15,728 --> 00:23:16,811 Edward Lee? 348 00:23:18,856 --> 00:23:20,523 - Zach Taylor? - Here. 349 00:23:21,525 --> 00:23:22,984 - Beth Tepper? - Here. 350 00:23:29,450 --> 00:23:30,950 (DOORBELL RINGING) 351 00:23:33,287 --> 00:23:34,412 Charley! 352 00:23:34,497 --> 00:23:37,248 - Hey, Mrs. Lee. - What a nice surprise. Come in. 353 00:23:37,583 --> 00:23:39,167 Rick, Charley's here. 354 00:23:39,502 --> 00:23:41,044 - This looks great. - Thank you. 355 00:23:41,170 --> 00:23:45,548 - Look at you, so handsome! - No. You look great. 356 00:23:45,674 --> 00:23:48,885 Ed said you really sprouted up. Look at you. How's it going? 357 00:23:49,220 --> 00:23:50,970 Ed's going to be so sorry he missed you. 358 00:23:51,055 --> 00:23:53,681 - Oh, he's not here? - No, he leaves early. 359 00:23:54,975 --> 00:23:58,520 Do you mind if I run upstairs and... There's just a book that we need. 360 00:23:58,687 --> 00:24:00,605 Of course. Make yourself at home. 361 00:24:01,774 --> 00:24:03,691 - Right up there. - Nope, I remember. 362 00:24:28,259 --> 00:24:29,717 (LAUGHS) 363 00:24:30,719 --> 00:24:31,970 Oh, man. 364 00:24:41,355 --> 00:24:44,440 ANNOUNCER: Peter Vincent. Welcome to Fright... 365 00:24:52,700 --> 00:24:56,202 ED: Oh, Adam. Here he comes. You see? You see what I'm saying? 366 00:24:56,537 --> 00:24:59,664 ADAM: He's a guy with a wheelbarrow. The horror. 367 00:24:59,790 --> 00:25:02,584 ED: Don't be a dick. You know what I'm trying to prove. 368 00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:07,463 There. That's his truck. 369 00:25:08,716 --> 00:25:10,884 Fuck! Fuck me! Oh, he didn't look. 370 00:25:12,553 --> 00:25:16,014 That's him right there, Adam. He does not show up on the video. 371 00:25:16,140 --> 00:25:19,225 He is so nailed. So nailed. 372 00:25:45,836 --> 00:25:47,670 - Hey, guy. - Hey. 373 00:25:48,797 --> 00:25:50,215 Guy. 374 00:25:50,549 --> 00:25:53,134 - You could really do me a solid. - What's that? 375 00:25:54,386 --> 00:25:58,306 I got a girl on her way over for a beer, and I'm all out of beer. 376 00:25:59,225 --> 00:26:02,018 It's... Sucks. 377 00:26:02,186 --> 00:26:05,897 Set me up. I'll pay you back two times. A sixer for your mom and one for you. 378 00:26:06,023 --> 00:26:08,149 - What do you say? - Yeah. 379 00:26:08,984 --> 00:26:10,276 Yeah, let me do that. 380 00:26:12,154 --> 00:26:15,240 Right now. I'll go right now and check what we got in the fridge. 381 00:26:15,449 --> 00:26:16,574 Okay. 382 00:26:17,868 --> 00:26:19,994 - Cool. Just give me a second. - Cool. 383 00:26:24,041 --> 00:26:25,875 Let me just see what she's got. 384 00:26:27,253 --> 00:26:28,461 Mom's kind of a... 385 00:26:30,214 --> 00:26:31,256 Kind of a 386 00:26:32,424 --> 00:26:33,883 light domestic 387 00:26:35,719 --> 00:26:36,803 kind of a mother. 388 00:26:43,352 --> 00:26:44,477 Nice kitchen. 389 00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:48,106 Good cabinet work. 390 00:26:49,316 --> 00:26:50,358 Thanks. 391 00:26:53,988 --> 00:26:55,154 You cool with Budweiser? 392 00:26:56,782 --> 00:26:58,241 Yeah, that works. Yeah. 393 00:27:03,247 --> 00:27:04,580 - Oh, shit. - Can I help you with that? 394 00:27:04,665 --> 00:27:06,374 No! No, no. 395 00:27:10,170 --> 00:27:11,504 I got it. 396 00:27:15,342 --> 00:27:17,010 I just... Yeah, I got it. 397 00:27:35,154 --> 00:27:36,946 Sorry it's not a sixer. 398 00:27:55,049 --> 00:27:57,008 This girl tonight, she's a handful. 399 00:27:58,927 --> 00:27:59,969 You know? 400 00:28:01,096 --> 00:28:03,181 Women who look a certain way, they... 401 00:28:04,725 --> 00:28:06,267 (LAUGHS) 402 00:28:06,352 --> 00:28:07,810 They need to be managed. 403 00:28:09,021 --> 00:28:10,104 It's true. 404 00:28:17,821 --> 00:28:19,364 Your dad ducked out on you? 405 00:28:20,741 --> 00:28:24,702 Your mom, she didn't exactly say, but 406 00:28:28,290 --> 00:28:31,667 there's a kind of neglect. 407 00:28:35,089 --> 00:28:36,672 Gives off a scent. 408 00:28:40,302 --> 00:28:43,346 You don't mind my saying, you got a lot on your shoulders for a kid. 409 00:28:44,390 --> 00:28:46,015 The two of you, 410 00:28:46,725 --> 00:28:47,767 alone. 411 00:28:49,853 --> 00:28:53,147 And your girl, Amy, she's ripe. 412 00:28:53,982 --> 00:28:58,361 I bet there's a line of guys dying to pluck that. Your mom, too. 413 00:28:59,780 --> 00:29:04,409 You don't see it. Maybe you do, but she's putting it out. 414 00:29:07,454 --> 00:29:09,247 It's on you to look out for them. 415 00:29:11,083 --> 00:29:13,334 You up for that, guy? 416 00:29:15,504 --> 00:29:18,047 - I think I can manage. - Good. 417 00:29:18,799 --> 00:29:22,677 Because there are a lot of bad people out there, Charley. 418 00:29:30,352 --> 00:29:32,687 Everyone's got to look after his own business. 419 00:29:40,654 --> 00:29:42,280 Thanks for the beers. 420 00:29:49,621 --> 00:29:50,621 (LOCK CLICKS) 421 00:29:55,085 --> 00:29:56,169 Hey. 422 00:29:56,962 --> 00:29:58,045 Where have you been? 423 00:29:58,881 --> 00:30:00,840 You told me to meet you here an hour ago. 424 00:30:03,552 --> 00:30:04,594 Hello? 425 00:30:06,054 --> 00:30:07,180 Hey, are you all right? 426 00:30:07,264 --> 00:30:10,183 Are you all right? Everything good? 427 00:30:10,350 --> 00:30:11,392 Yep. 428 00:30:12,186 --> 00:30:15,021 - Why shouldn't it be? - No, it should. 429 00:30:15,689 --> 00:30:17,106 Did you ever read this? 430 00:30:18,484 --> 00:30:20,193 - No. - It's really good. 431 00:30:20,319 --> 00:30:22,653 It's kind of sexy, actually, in like, 432 00:30:22,779 --> 00:30:26,407 frustrated, unconsummated sort of way. 433 00:30:27,451 --> 00:30:28,743 Like us, you mean. 434 00:30:29,411 --> 00:30:30,661 Mmm-hmm. Kind of makes it hotter. 435 00:30:39,379 --> 00:30:43,674 - Am I boring you? - No, I'm just tired. Sorry. 436 00:30:44,009 --> 00:30:46,177 Okay. That's all right. We can fix that. 437 00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:52,058 Do you want to get under the covers? 438 00:30:55,354 --> 00:30:58,064 Right now? Really? 439 00:30:59,441 --> 00:31:02,527 Yeah, why not? We could just give it a go, and... 440 00:31:03,737 --> 00:31:06,572 Please believe me, there is nothing I would rather be doing right now 441 00:31:06,698 --> 00:31:09,450 than getting under the covers with you. 442 00:31:09,535 --> 00:31:10,576 Okay. 443 00:31:12,788 --> 00:31:17,208 Charley, don't be nervous. 444 00:31:17,751 --> 00:31:18,793 It's okay. 445 00:31:21,129 --> 00:31:23,172 I'm not nervous, I'm cool. I'm good. 446 00:31:32,307 --> 00:31:34,058 (DOORBELL RINGS) 447 00:31:34,142 --> 00:31:35,393 Did you hear that? 448 00:31:36,186 --> 00:31:37,478 DORIS: Sorry I'm late. 449 00:31:38,605 --> 00:31:41,482 Doris. Oh, shit. 450 00:31:43,235 --> 00:31:44,318 Shit. 451 00:31:44,570 --> 00:31:46,529 What? He's hot, your neighbor's a stripper. 452 00:31:46,613 --> 00:31:47,905 They were bound to find each other. 453 00:31:47,990 --> 00:31:49,407 Go-go dancer. 454 00:31:49,533 --> 00:31:53,786 No. You take away two tiny pieces of cloth, she is a stripper. 455 00:31:54,121 --> 00:31:55,162 Rude. 456 00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:59,417 Oh, shit! Oh, shit, he saw us! 457 00:31:59,543 --> 00:32:02,044 Whoa! Maybe. It's not a big deal. 458 00:32:02,170 --> 00:32:06,757 It's a huge deal, okay? Very big deal. He looked at us and he was pissed! 459 00:32:08,302 --> 00:32:11,262 Okay, Charley, if you're not into this, can you just tell me? 460 00:32:11,346 --> 00:32:12,680 Because you don't have to do me any favors. 461 00:32:13,015 --> 00:32:16,767 Amy, I'm not doing you any favors. Of course I'm into this. Of course. 462 00:32:17,102 --> 00:32:18,352 I don't trust that guy. 463 00:32:19,146 --> 00:32:21,689 You're so stupid, Charley. 464 00:32:22,024 --> 00:32:24,150 - I'm going. - Oh, come on. I'm sorry. 465 00:32:24,318 --> 00:32:28,404 No, I'm going. I'm going to leave you to look out the window at the neighbors 466 00:32:28,530 --> 00:32:31,115 and have fun with your neighborhood watch thing! 467 00:32:33,952 --> 00:32:35,578 (SIGHING) 468 00:32:44,463 --> 00:32:46,213 (WOMAN SCREAMING) 469 00:32:52,179 --> 00:32:53,387 Oh, shit. 470 00:33:00,020 --> 00:33:01,062 OPERATOR: 911... 471 00:33:01,146 --> 00:33:02,855 (CHATTER ON POLICE RADIO) 472 00:33:03,732 --> 00:33:05,983 A woman screaming? 473 00:33:07,653 --> 00:33:08,903 (LAUGHS) You bet she screamed. 474 00:33:08,987 --> 00:33:10,029 (ALL LAUGHING) 475 00:33:10,405 --> 00:33:12,907 "You bet I made her scream." Jeez. 476 00:33:15,243 --> 00:33:17,411 - Keep it down a bit. - Sure, absolutely. 477 00:33:17,537 --> 00:33:18,913 Unbelievable. 478 00:34:10,424 --> 00:34:13,300 Come on. Come on. 479 00:34:17,764 --> 00:34:18,806 There it is. 480 00:35:03,602 --> 00:35:04,643 (WHISPERING) Doris? 481 00:35:27,876 --> 00:36:10,084 Doris? 482 00:36:21,847 --> 00:36:23,430 (TRUCK APPROACHING) 483 00:36:49,749 --> 00:36:50,791 Shit. 484 00:37:01,928 --> 00:37:03,470 (CLICK) 485 00:37:56,942 --> 00:37:58,108 Fuck! 486 00:38:01,696 --> 00:38:02,821 (SOFTLY) Doris? 487 00:38:03,782 --> 00:38:04,823 Doris. 488 00:38:05,992 --> 00:38:07,034 It's Charley. 489 00:38:07,369 --> 00:38:09,703 Charley? Charley! 490 00:38:10,497 --> 00:38:12,706 Oh, God! Get me out of here! 491 00:38:12,832 --> 00:38:14,375 I am. I am. (SHUSHES) 492 00:38:20,507 --> 00:38:21,548 Hurry! 493 00:38:25,845 --> 00:38:27,346 (DOOR OPENING) 494 00:38:30,684 --> 00:38:31,850 Shit! Shit! 495 00:38:31,935 --> 00:38:34,603 Oh, no, he's coming back! He's coming back! No! 496 00:38:53,707 --> 00:38:55,290 DORIS: No, please. 497 00:39:01,881 --> 00:39:03,799 Please don't. Please. 498 00:39:09,973 --> 00:39:12,641 No, please don't. Please don't. 499 00:39:23,111 --> 00:39:24,653 (CRYING) 500 00:40:16,289 --> 00:40:17,706 (SNIFFS) 501 00:40:27,675 --> 00:40:29,134 (EXHALING) 502 00:40:39,395 --> 00:40:40,854 Fuck! 503 00:40:52,075 --> 00:40:53,242 Oh, God! 504 00:40:55,995 --> 00:40:58,664 Good. I got you. I got you. 505 00:40:59,499 --> 00:41:03,085 That's the first thing you wear for Joe when you get your new boobies. 506 00:41:03,211 --> 00:41:06,338 I want to get breast implants, but my husband, he's more of an ass guy, 507 00:41:06,422 --> 00:41:09,424 and he's very happy with my boobies, with my minus-As. 508 00:41:09,551 --> 00:41:11,218 (CHATTER ON TV CONTINUES) 509 00:41:26,568 --> 00:41:28,277 (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) 510 00:41:33,449 --> 00:41:35,075 (DORIS WHIMPERING) 511 00:41:43,877 --> 00:41:45,544 (SHUSHING) 512 00:42:27,670 --> 00:42:29,338 (WHIMPERS) 513 00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:36,094 (CHATTER ON TV CONTINUES) 514 00:43:09,796 --> 00:43:10,837 Thank you. 515 00:43:11,839 --> 00:43:14,883 You'll be all right. You'll be all right. 516 00:43:15,176 --> 00:43:16,301 (SCREAMS) 517 00:43:24,060 --> 00:43:25,978 (LAUGHS) 518 00:43:31,859 --> 00:43:33,318 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 519 00:43:34,153 --> 00:43:35,779 Hey, you're going to be late. 520 00:43:39,284 --> 00:43:43,203 The hours you keep. It's like living with a vampire. 521 00:43:43,746 --> 00:43:45,205 Mom... 522 00:43:45,373 --> 00:43:47,541 That guy Jerry, next door. 523 00:43:48,376 --> 00:43:51,378 Under no circumstances is he invited into our house, 524 00:43:51,462 --> 00:43:52,879 all right? He's dangerous. 525 00:43:53,047 --> 00:43:55,090 - I think I can handle myself. - Mom, please, I'm serious. 526 00:43:55,216 --> 00:43:57,926 Don't acknowledge him. Don't talk to him, 527 00:43:58,052 --> 00:43:59,803 and at night, please stay inside. 528 00:44:00,388 --> 00:44:01,805 Why? Because he's dangerous? 529 00:44:01,973 --> 00:44:04,808 I can't answer a million questions right now. Will you just trust me? 530 00:44:04,976 --> 00:44:09,062 Charley, stop! I'm your mom, not some ridiculous woman. 531 00:44:09,230 --> 00:44:13,483 I'm sorry, I can't do this right now. I can't answer a million things right now. 532 00:44:13,818 --> 00:44:15,819 I don't understand. Charley! 533 00:44:30,084 --> 00:44:32,753 Hey. 534 00:44:34,505 --> 00:44:37,341 You weren't in class. What are you working on? 535 00:44:38,801 --> 00:44:39,843 Porn. 536 00:44:39,927 --> 00:44:41,053 (SIGHS) 537 00:44:41,137 --> 00:44:44,306 Good. I thought it was something creepy. 538 00:44:49,812 --> 00:44:51,146 You okay? 539 00:44:52,815 --> 00:44:55,442 - I should probably... - Get back to your porn? 540 00:44:57,111 --> 00:44:59,363 - Yeah. - Yeah, okay. 541 00:45:20,468 --> 00:45:22,344 (PEOPLE WHOOPING) 542 00:45:34,023 --> 00:45:35,482 (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) 543 00:45:54,043 --> 00:45:56,503 Get back, demons! 544 00:46:08,933 --> 00:46:09,975 (HISSES) 545 00:46:10,059 --> 00:46:11,226 No! 546 00:46:13,187 --> 00:46:17,899 Stop, stop, stop. Stop! Cut it! 547 00:46:18,025 --> 00:46:19,067 (MUSIC STOPS) 548 00:46:19,193 --> 00:46:21,278 Come on! What the fuck, people? 549 00:46:22,697 --> 00:46:25,574 Fire. She's supposed to be on fire, not dribbling fucking smoke. 550 00:46:25,700 --> 00:46:26,950 She keeps moving the squib. 551 00:46:27,743 --> 00:46:29,411 Hey, I do not. 552 00:46:29,537 --> 00:46:33,582 But Mr. Fireman here almost nearly burned off my extensions last time. 553 00:46:34,375 --> 00:46:38,378 Bugger this. Look! Get me some professionals, all right? 554 00:46:40,882 --> 00:46:41,882 CHARLEY: Mr. Vincent? 555 00:46:41,966 --> 00:46:44,134 Mr. Vincent? Hi, I'm from the Vegas Sun. 556 00:46:44,218 --> 00:46:45,594 We had an appointment today. 557 00:46:45,720 --> 00:46:47,804 I don't think so. Speak to my guy. 558 00:46:47,930 --> 00:46:50,390 No, we did. I'm doing that article, 559 00:46:50,475 --> 00:46:51,975 "Vampires: Separating Myth From Fact." 560 00:46:52,310 --> 00:46:53,393 Do you want a quote? 561 00:46:54,270 --> 00:46:56,480 That's a shit idea for an article. 562 00:46:57,398 --> 00:46:58,565 Look, please... 563 00:46:58,649 --> 00:46:59,900 (HISSING) 564 00:47:00,610 --> 00:47:03,737 Please, I need your expertise and you're the man on this stuff, so... 565 00:47:03,905 --> 00:47:05,405 I fucked her. 566 00:47:06,741 --> 00:47:07,741 Filthy! 567 00:47:10,286 --> 00:47:11,328 So, is this, what, 568 00:47:11,412 --> 00:47:12,913 your first assignment or something? 569 00:47:13,831 --> 00:47:14,915 Yeah. 570 00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:17,292 (LAUGHS) 571 00:47:18,503 --> 00:47:20,253 I'm going to pop your cherry. 572 00:47:21,172 --> 00:47:24,299 Ginger! Bring him upstairs. You got 10 minutes. 573 00:47:32,266 --> 00:47:34,351 Wow! This is all his stuff? 574 00:47:34,477 --> 00:47:37,812 He started collecting tarots and Ouijas. Gateway stuff. 575 00:47:38,147 --> 00:47:41,441 Now scholars, they call him for answers. 576 00:47:41,526 --> 00:47:43,610 Those books, the forgotten texts, 577 00:47:43,861 --> 00:47:45,946 the Agrippa. He's read them all. 578 00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:48,949 No, don't touch anything. He's PMS-y today. 579 00:47:49,534 --> 00:47:51,535 Sensitive little girl. 580 00:47:51,702 --> 00:47:55,455 Over there, that's haunted antiques. Cursed stuff! 581 00:47:56,624 --> 00:48:01,378 And that's Pete's honorary degree from LVSU. 582 00:48:02,296 --> 00:48:04,214 But he got it off the Internet. 583 00:48:08,803 --> 00:48:09,844 (EXCLAIMS) Fuck! 584 00:48:11,806 --> 00:48:13,557 The one and only. 585 00:48:15,560 --> 00:48:19,312 - Midori me. - Midori yourself, douchebag. 586 00:48:19,480 --> 00:48:21,565 - Fuck you! - Asswipe. 587 00:48:23,818 --> 00:48:25,235 Come on in. Come on. 588 00:48:40,209 --> 00:48:41,835 It looks like pee, but I'm hooked. 589 00:48:43,546 --> 00:48:45,714 - Do you want some? - I'm good, thank you. 590 00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:49,217 No? Too much for you? Do you want a Shirley Temple? 591 00:48:49,343 --> 00:48:50,343 Uh... 592 00:48:50,928 --> 00:48:52,178 Sit down. 593 00:48:56,183 --> 00:48:57,183 So, 594 00:48:58,936 --> 00:49:02,439 I'm the expert for your vampire thing? 595 00:49:04,275 --> 00:49:05,692 They're all the rage. 596 00:49:08,195 --> 00:49:10,447 Leather, it doesn't breathe. 597 00:49:10,573 --> 00:49:13,783 Fucking rashes are fucking killing me. 598 00:49:16,704 --> 00:49:18,413 (GROANING) 599 00:49:19,957 --> 00:49:20,999 Shoot. 600 00:49:22,209 --> 00:49:24,419 Right. Well... 601 00:49:24,545 --> 00:49:26,838 Look, I know your show... 602 00:49:29,508 --> 00:49:31,384 I know your show is an illusion. 603 00:49:31,510 --> 00:49:32,802 Meaning bullshit? 604 00:49:35,514 --> 00:49:40,352 - Yeah, fair enough. - But say I wanted to kill a vampire. 605 00:49:40,436 --> 00:49:42,187 (LAUGHS) 606 00:49:42,271 --> 00:49:45,857 - Yeah, sorry. Go on. - How would I go about doing that? 607 00:49:46,192 --> 00:49:48,735 You want to know how to kill a vampire? Seriously? 608 00:49:48,861 --> 00:49:50,820 Yeah, kill a vampire. 609 00:49:50,946 --> 00:49:53,323 Well, let's think. 610 00:49:54,492 --> 00:49:57,369 You got fire, beheading. 611 00:49:59,538 --> 00:50:02,874 You can make him a big garlicky omelet. 612 00:50:03,584 --> 00:50:05,919 Or go traditional. Stake through the heart. Bam! 613 00:50:09,256 --> 00:50:11,675 Cool. So that stuff really works? 614 00:50:12,510 --> 00:50:14,844 Well, maybe not the omelet. 615 00:50:16,806 --> 00:50:18,264 How the fuck should I know? 616 00:50:22,770 --> 00:50:25,605 I don't know. You have all this stuff, 617 00:50:25,731 --> 00:50:26,773 and you 618 00:50:28,526 --> 00:50:30,694 are "Peter Vincent: Vampire..." 619 00:50:32,238 --> 00:50:34,197 - I don't know. I'm not sure. - I read books. 620 00:50:34,323 --> 00:50:39,285 You think I'm hanging out with Dracula? And the Easter bunny? Fuck off. 621 00:50:39,370 --> 00:50:40,578 (BURPS) 622 00:50:42,331 --> 00:50:44,874 I'm sorry, but I have a personal interest in this. 623 00:50:45,209 --> 00:50:47,460 I think one of them got my friend. 624 00:50:48,421 --> 00:50:50,547 What? "One of them," meaning a vampire? 625 00:50:50,673 --> 00:50:53,466 Yeah. Jerry. He lives next door to me. 626 00:50:53,592 --> 00:50:56,845 Jerry? Jerry the vampire? 627 00:50:57,179 --> 00:51:00,473 Do you think I don't know how this sounds? 628 00:51:00,641 --> 00:51:05,270 Two days ago I would have laughed in my face, but it's really happening. 629 00:51:05,438 --> 00:51:07,814 I am so far down the rabbit hole. 630 00:51:07,940 --> 00:51:12,902 I was in his house, or his lair, or whatever, and I got these pictures. 631 00:51:13,237 --> 00:51:15,280 - If you just look at them. - Okay. Get out. 632 00:51:15,406 --> 00:51:17,741 - No, please. - You're a nut job. Ginger! 633 00:51:17,908 --> 00:51:20,243 I'm not! I know what I saw. 634 00:51:20,369 --> 00:51:22,287 No, you don't. Illusion, remember? 635 00:51:22,371 --> 00:51:24,414 People see what they want to see. This is... 636 00:51:24,498 --> 00:51:26,291 You don't collect this stuff. You don't have all this stuff 637 00:51:26,375 --> 00:51:28,835 if you don't believe, and I promise you, I can take you to him. 638 00:51:29,170 --> 00:51:30,712 I can show you what you've been waiting for... 639 00:51:30,838 --> 00:51:33,465 What, in Clark County, Nevada? (SHOUTING) Ginger! 640 00:51:33,591 --> 00:51:35,258 That's a hotbed of supernatural activity. 641 00:51:35,342 --> 00:51:37,761 It is, though. It's genius. 642 00:51:37,845 --> 00:51:41,306 It's a transient population. People work all night, they sleep all day! 643 00:51:41,390 --> 00:51:42,724 Get this loser out of my sight, please. 644 00:51:42,850 --> 00:51:44,517 - Stop! - Whoa! 645 00:51:44,643 --> 00:51:47,854 He got my friend already! I am not crazy. 646 00:51:48,731 --> 00:51:52,066 I'm not. I don't want to know this shit. 647 00:51:52,276 --> 00:51:53,860 Please, just look at these pictures. 648 00:51:54,570 --> 00:51:57,363 Get the fuck out of my house! 649 00:51:58,574 --> 00:52:00,825 Time to go, doll. Come on. 650 00:52:20,805 --> 00:52:24,808 MARK: Dude, is that Charley? What the fuck is he doing? 651 00:52:26,894 --> 00:52:28,186 BEN: It's paranoia. 652 00:52:28,270 --> 00:52:32,065 Once I thought I was being chased by carrots with machetes. 653 00:52:33,150 --> 00:52:35,819 - I know! - Whatever, man. 654 00:52:35,945 --> 00:52:37,904 You guys are both ruining my high. 655 00:52:38,739 --> 00:52:39,864 (TAPPING ON WINDOW) 656 00:52:39,949 --> 00:52:42,826 Oh, shit! All right, ditch the weed. I'm cool. 657 00:52:49,708 --> 00:52:51,960 - Hey, guy. - Yeah? 658 00:52:52,044 --> 00:52:53,461 (JERRY TRANSFORMING) 659 00:52:54,713 --> 00:52:56,965 - Fuck... - Oh, fuck. 660 00:53:21,490 --> 00:53:22,532 Hey. 661 00:53:22,616 --> 00:53:24,158 - Hey. - Hey. 662 00:53:26,871 --> 00:53:30,206 The whole house looks like that show. Dark Shadows. 663 00:53:30,374 --> 00:53:34,544 Yeah. It's a gag for Amy. 664 00:53:35,421 --> 00:53:36,504 Long story. 665 00:53:36,589 --> 00:53:38,214 (DOORBELL RINGING) 666 00:53:38,299 --> 00:53:40,508 Don't, Mom, don't! Don't open it! 667 00:53:45,306 --> 00:53:47,140 How did you get in here? 668 00:53:47,266 --> 00:53:48,850 - It was unlocked. - Oh, my God. 669 00:53:48,976 --> 00:53:51,311 Mom, please, I told you to lock the door! 670 00:53:51,395 --> 00:53:52,437 Okay! 671 00:53:53,188 --> 00:53:56,274 You are flipping out. You're acting all weird. 672 00:53:56,442 --> 00:53:58,151 You're blowing everything off. 673 00:53:59,862 --> 00:54:00,945 Is that a stake? 674 00:54:02,865 --> 00:54:05,575 No. Maybe. 675 00:54:07,286 --> 00:54:08,369 Look. 676 00:54:08,537 --> 00:54:13,541 Even if you are losing it, you do not get to blow me off. 677 00:54:13,876 --> 00:54:16,336 You don't go from something to nothing overnight. 678 00:54:17,504 --> 00:54:21,341 You're not nothing to me, Charley, so whatever is happening, 679 00:54:21,467 --> 00:54:26,054 I would like you to talk to me, to tell me what is going on. 680 00:54:28,057 --> 00:54:29,891 Oh, man. Amy, look... 681 00:54:29,975 --> 00:54:31,893 (STUTTERING) 682 00:54:31,977 --> 00:54:34,270 I need you to just forget about me, okay? 683 00:54:35,189 --> 00:54:37,273 I'm not going to let you get hurt. I'm sorry. 684 00:54:37,399 --> 00:54:39,400 What? How? How am I going to get hurt? 685 00:54:44,531 --> 00:54:46,324 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 686 00:54:46,408 --> 00:54:47,450 - Stay there. - JANE: I got it. 687 00:54:47,576 --> 00:54:50,119 No! Don't answer it. Please don't answer it. 688 00:54:50,245 --> 00:54:52,038 This is ridiculous, Charley. 689 00:54:52,206 --> 00:54:53,831 Jane, it's Jerry from next door. 690 00:54:53,958 --> 00:54:56,376 Don't answer the door. 691 00:54:56,543 --> 00:54:58,503 This is my house. I will answer the door if I want to. 692 00:54:58,629 --> 00:54:59,671 But, Mom! 693 00:54:59,880 --> 00:55:01,464 Jane, I need to talk to you. 694 00:55:04,426 --> 00:55:05,510 Just hold on! 695 00:55:05,844 --> 00:55:08,221 Now. Your son is harassing me. 696 00:55:08,973 --> 00:55:10,264 - Charley, what is going on? - CHARLEY: Listen to me. 697 00:55:10,391 --> 00:55:12,016 Whatever he says, he's going to try to slip... 698 00:55:12,142 --> 00:55:13,810 JERRY: Jane, he broke into my house. 699 00:55:13,936 --> 00:55:15,103 Is that true? 700 00:55:15,229 --> 00:55:19,023 JERRY: I'd rather not take this to the authorities, but I will. I have no choice. 701 00:55:19,149 --> 00:55:21,234 He's sick! He's deluded. 702 00:55:23,862 --> 00:55:25,154 Please. 703 00:55:28,409 --> 00:55:30,201 Go get the authorities! 704 00:55:58,063 --> 00:56:00,064 - Shit! - JANE: What? 705 00:56:04,278 --> 00:56:05,528 Wow. What is he doing? 706 00:56:05,612 --> 00:56:07,071 I don't know, but whatever it is, it's not good. 707 00:56:12,786 --> 00:56:15,538 We're all right as long as we stay inside 708 00:56:15,873 --> 00:56:18,041 because obviously he can't get in without an invitation. 709 00:56:19,877 --> 00:56:22,879 - Like a vampire. - Yeah, really, like a vampire. 710 00:56:24,465 --> 00:56:26,257 This is the joke for Amy, right? 711 00:56:26,341 --> 00:56:28,217 I can't believe you got Jerry to go along with it. 712 00:56:28,343 --> 00:56:29,385 Take this. 713 00:56:30,804 --> 00:56:31,846 Okay. 714 00:56:32,389 --> 00:56:34,265 Vampire protection. 715 00:56:34,391 --> 00:56:35,933 I don't think this is funny. 716 00:56:39,521 --> 00:56:40,563 Shit. 717 00:56:42,066 --> 00:56:43,107 Hey. 718 00:56:44,318 --> 00:56:46,402 What the fuck is he doing to my yard? 719 00:57:09,468 --> 00:57:10,510 What's that? 720 00:57:10,594 --> 00:57:11,803 (GAS HISSING) 721 00:57:26,026 --> 00:57:27,068 (SCREAMING) 722 00:57:32,491 --> 00:57:35,118 I don't need an invitation if there's no house. 723 00:57:35,244 --> 00:57:36,577 Come on. Come on! 724 00:57:38,705 --> 00:57:41,124 JANE: Get in! I'll drive. 725 00:57:45,504 --> 00:57:48,131 Jesus Christ, Charley, what the hell is going on? 726 00:57:49,091 --> 00:57:52,051 Mom, just go! Just gun it! Just go! 727 00:58:00,060 --> 00:58:01,811 (ENGINE REWING) 728 00:58:06,775 --> 00:58:08,568 - Is everybody okay? - Are you all right? 729 00:58:08,694 --> 00:58:09,735 JANE: Nobody's hurt? 730 00:58:09,820 --> 00:58:10,903 (AMY SCREAMING) 731 00:58:11,488 --> 00:58:12,613 (SCREAMS) 732 00:58:13,574 --> 00:58:14,615 Look out! 733 00:58:16,326 --> 00:58:19,537 Are you all right? Amy, are you okay? You okay? 734 00:58:20,539 --> 00:58:21,998 - Jesus! - Mom, keep driving! 735 00:58:22,124 --> 00:58:23,207 JANE: What the hell is going on? 736 00:58:23,375 --> 00:58:27,003 This is seriously not okay, Charley! Who the fuck is this guy? 737 00:58:27,129 --> 00:58:29,005 Mom, I told you, he's a fucking vampire! 738 00:58:29,173 --> 00:58:31,716 - Enough with the vampires! - Really! 739 00:58:32,676 --> 00:58:35,469 Let's just calm down. I'm going to call the police. 740 00:58:37,431 --> 00:58:39,265 - I don't have any service. - I do. No. 741 00:58:39,391 --> 00:58:42,518 I hate the fucking desert! Now I have a psycho next door. 742 00:58:45,606 --> 00:58:48,608 Oh, shit. Charley, is this him? Who is this? 743 00:58:50,652 --> 00:58:53,237 Oh, man. Damn it. 744 00:58:53,780 --> 00:58:55,072 - AMY: Oh, my God. - No. 745 00:58:55,157 --> 00:58:56,949 - Oh, my God. - Oh, no. 746 00:58:59,077 --> 00:59:00,661 AMY: God! What the fuck! 747 00:59:01,538 --> 00:59:02,580 JANE: What is he doing? 748 00:59:02,664 --> 00:59:03,915 AMY: Charley, he's coming around the side. 749 00:59:03,999 --> 00:59:05,708 CHARLEY: Keep going. Keep going. 750 00:59:06,084 --> 00:59:07,752 JANE: Jesus Christ. 751 00:59:08,086 --> 00:59:09,545 AMY: Shit. Look out! 752 00:59:12,382 --> 00:59:13,758 What does he want? 753 00:59:24,645 --> 00:59:26,687 JANE: Oh, no. What do I do? CHARLEY: Hit him. 754 00:59:27,022 --> 00:59:28,314 - What? - Hit him. 755 00:59:28,440 --> 00:59:30,983 - Mom, just hit him! - Charley, no! 756 00:59:31,777 --> 00:59:33,277 Just fucking hit him! 757 00:59:36,573 --> 00:59:38,199 - Don't stop. - AMY: Holy shit! 758 00:59:38,325 --> 00:59:40,409 CHARLEY: Just drive. Don't stop! AMY: Oh, my God. 759 00:59:50,754 --> 00:59:52,755 - Do you see him? - No. 760 00:59:57,177 --> 00:59:58,761 - Did I kill him? - Hopefully. 761 00:59:59,638 --> 01:00:01,764 (METAL SCRAPING) 762 01:00:01,848 --> 01:00:03,474 (UNDERCARRIAGE THUDDING) 763 01:00:12,192 --> 01:00:13,276 Mom. 764 01:00:15,737 --> 01:00:16,779 Oh, God. 765 01:00:18,657 --> 01:00:20,366 (JANE AND AMY SCREAMING) 766 01:00:20,450 --> 01:00:24,120 No! That's his fucked-up vampire hand. Now do you believe me? 767 01:00:25,372 --> 01:00:26,414 Shit! 768 01:00:26,540 --> 01:00:28,207 Keep driving, Mom! 769 01:00:31,878 --> 01:00:33,212 (JERRY GROWLING) 770 01:00:33,297 --> 01:00:34,672 Oh, my God! 771 01:00:36,216 --> 01:00:37,425 Charley, fucking kick him! 772 01:00:38,176 --> 01:00:39,302 Shit! 773 01:00:41,305 --> 01:00:43,055 Get away from me! 774 01:00:48,687 --> 01:00:50,146 - Where is he? - I don't know. 775 01:00:57,070 --> 01:00:59,113 (GROANING) 776 01:01:01,116 --> 01:01:03,117 JANE: Where is he? Where did he go? CHARLEY: Stay in the car. 777 01:01:08,123 --> 01:01:09,415 What the hell do you think you're doing? 778 01:01:09,791 --> 01:01:11,667 No! Stay in the car! 779 01:01:11,835 --> 01:01:13,961 You stop in the middle of the road, you got a taillight out. 780 01:01:27,351 --> 01:01:28,726 (GROWLING) 781 01:01:40,822 --> 01:01:42,448 (MAN SCREAMING) 782 01:01:46,411 --> 01:01:47,453 No, Charley! 783 01:01:52,292 --> 01:01:53,334 CHARLEY: Hey! 784 01:01:54,044 --> 01:01:55,086 Charley! 785 01:02:14,523 --> 01:02:15,564 Hey. 786 01:02:17,484 --> 01:02:19,485 Please go. It'll be all right. Go. Take her and go! 787 01:02:19,611 --> 01:02:21,487 Amy, take her and go! 788 01:02:22,406 --> 01:02:23,823 Catch you later. 789 01:02:25,909 --> 01:02:28,577 I repel you with the power of Christ the Lord. 790 01:02:29,287 --> 01:02:31,455 Do you? Really? 791 01:02:34,793 --> 01:02:37,545 That's a mighty big cross you got there, Charley. 792 01:02:38,296 --> 01:02:40,965 The question is, do you have faith? 793 01:02:41,716 --> 01:02:42,758 Get back! 794 01:02:44,678 --> 01:02:47,430 Not the cross. Not the cross, Charley. 795 01:02:51,101 --> 01:02:52,643 Come here. 796 01:02:59,693 --> 01:03:02,027 You ever get a stake in the chest, Charley? 797 01:03:03,780 --> 01:03:05,906 I have. It hurts. 798 01:03:06,741 --> 01:03:07,992 But they missed the heart. 799 01:03:08,326 --> 01:03:10,536 It's right here, Charley. 800 01:03:11,788 --> 01:03:13,372 Easy measurement. 801 01:03:13,999 --> 01:03:15,875 You shouldn't have been so nosy. 802 01:03:19,087 --> 01:03:20,296 (SCREECHING) 803 01:03:24,134 --> 01:03:25,176 (GRUNTING AND SCREECHING) 804 01:03:28,680 --> 01:03:30,097 - Mom! - Mrs. Brewster! 805 01:03:30,432 --> 01:03:31,640 Her head. 806 01:03:35,729 --> 01:03:36,770 - You got her? - Yeah. 807 01:03:52,954 --> 01:03:54,622 - Charley... - Hang on! 808 01:03:54,956 --> 01:03:55,998 (AMY SCREAMS) 809 01:04:32,118 --> 01:04:34,453 Good show tonight, right, babycakes? 810 01:04:35,038 --> 01:04:37,456 You were late again on "The Devil's Torture Chamber." 811 01:04:37,958 --> 01:04:39,458 I have something for you. Look. 812 01:04:41,878 --> 01:04:44,713 You were early again in the bedroom. 813 01:04:44,798 --> 01:04:45,965 Fuck you! 814 01:04:46,091 --> 01:04:48,926 I will fuck myself. Someone's got to do it. 815 01:05:28,508 --> 01:05:29,842 AMY: We won't be up all night. 816 01:05:30,844 --> 01:05:32,845 Honestly, it's really not a party. 817 01:05:34,431 --> 01:05:36,640 Sit tight. We might have a few more questions for you. 818 01:05:36,850 --> 01:05:38,309 - Okay. - Mom? 819 01:05:39,769 --> 01:05:41,520 I love you. Bye. 820 01:05:45,442 --> 01:05:49,361 They only asked a couple of questions. We should be okay. 821 01:05:49,529 --> 01:05:52,448 I don't know. I think maybe you should've said something to the police. 822 01:05:52,991 --> 01:05:57,036 Like what? "This vampire moved in, borrowed a six-pack of Bud, 823 01:05:57,370 --> 01:06:00,539 "ate a stripper and blew up our house because we wouldn't invite him inside." 824 01:06:01,666 --> 01:06:05,044 Last time I called the cops, they nearly all went to Chili's together. 825 01:06:07,881 --> 01:06:08,881 Okay. 826 01:06:13,511 --> 01:06:14,845 This is my fault. 827 01:06:16,723 --> 01:06:18,557 You didn't make any of it happen. 828 01:06:19,809 --> 01:06:22,519 Ed came to me, and I turned my back on him. 829 01:06:23,313 --> 01:06:25,397 How were you supposed to believe him? 830 01:06:25,565 --> 01:06:27,566 I mean, he begged me. 831 01:06:28,693 --> 01:06:29,985 I mean, he really... 832 01:06:31,696 --> 01:06:32,988 And he was my best friend. 833 01:06:34,324 --> 01:06:38,077 I know, but, Charley, people, they change. 834 01:06:38,411 --> 01:06:40,579 Yeah, and I just changed into a dick. 835 01:06:41,539 --> 01:06:43,248 I figured my dweeb past 836 01:06:43,333 --> 01:06:46,043 wasn't really going to be very popular with the ladies, so I... 837 01:06:47,712 --> 01:06:49,713 Oh. Are you trying to say this is my fault? 838 01:06:55,387 --> 01:06:57,096 I just really wanted you to like me, that's all. 839 01:06:58,390 --> 01:06:59,598 Charley, 840 01:07:01,518 --> 01:07:02,935 I knew you were a dweeb. 841 01:07:03,937 --> 01:07:08,357 Do you think I wanted some dude like Mark? Or Ben? 842 01:07:08,441 --> 01:07:09,525 No. 843 01:07:10,777 --> 01:07:13,612 I like you. Because you're different. 844 01:07:17,367 --> 01:07:19,535 It didn't hurt that your skin cleared up. 845 01:07:20,954 --> 01:07:22,079 Thanks. 846 01:07:24,582 --> 01:07:25,958 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 847 01:07:28,044 --> 01:07:29,753 - Hello? - I can help you. 848 01:07:30,463 --> 01:07:31,797 My place in one hour. 849 01:07:33,758 --> 01:07:35,259 We're going to see the Peter Vincent? 850 01:07:35,385 --> 01:07:39,263 It's underwhelming, believe me, but he's what we've got. 851 01:07:40,306 --> 01:07:42,141 Mom's very religious. 852 01:07:49,315 --> 01:07:51,316 I'll tell you what I know, but that's it. 853 01:07:52,152 --> 01:07:53,235 Right? 854 01:07:54,070 --> 01:07:58,741 Don't expect me to join your little Scooby gang. Sit down. 855 01:08:00,452 --> 01:08:01,994 Whatever you got, I'll take it. 856 01:08:04,998 --> 01:08:06,623 That insignia you showed me. 857 01:08:08,835 --> 01:08:11,170 It's a species that originated in the Mediterranean. 858 01:08:12,172 --> 01:08:15,007 They nest in the earth. And they kill slowly. 859 01:08:16,301 --> 01:08:18,343 They keep their victims alive for days. 860 01:08:20,180 --> 01:08:21,305 Snackers. 861 01:08:22,015 --> 01:08:24,975 And they turn everyone? They change them into... 862 01:08:25,101 --> 01:08:26,268 Yeah, I got it. 863 01:08:26,352 --> 01:08:29,313 They're tribal by nature. He could be trying to turn them all. 864 01:08:30,106 --> 01:08:31,440 Replenish his ranks. 865 01:08:31,775 --> 01:08:33,942 How do we kill these guys? This tribe. 866 01:08:34,027 --> 01:08:36,278 You two? You don't. 867 01:08:38,364 --> 01:08:41,950 It's a strong breed. You're going to need an army. 868 01:08:42,368 --> 01:08:43,786 (PHONE RINGING) 869 01:08:44,788 --> 01:08:46,872 Hang on. Sorry. Sorry. 870 01:08:50,126 --> 01:08:51,376 - Hello! - MAN: Mr. Vincent? 871 01:08:51,711 --> 01:08:53,796 - Yes! - You have a delivery. 872 01:08:53,880 --> 01:08:55,339 All right. Send him up. 873 01:08:56,049 --> 01:08:57,466 Ginger, we've got a delivery! 874 01:08:58,009 --> 01:08:59,218 (CHATTER ON TV) 875 01:08:59,344 --> 01:09:01,386 I'm watching my programme! You get it! 876 01:09:01,721 --> 01:09:04,681 You're TiVo-ing it, you lazy cow! Come on! 877 01:09:09,646 --> 01:09:11,230 Shit. Douchebag. 878 01:09:12,357 --> 01:09:13,816 Hi, doll. 879 01:09:15,068 --> 01:09:19,154 EBay. I order things late at night when I've had a few cocktails... 880 01:09:19,239 --> 01:09:21,198 So, yeah, some nice stuff. 881 01:09:21,324 --> 01:09:23,200 Wait a minute. You get deliveries this late? 882 01:09:23,326 --> 01:09:24,409 Yeah. 883 01:09:28,081 --> 01:09:29,373 No. I don't know. 884 01:09:29,874 --> 01:09:32,876 Oh, shit. No. You said that guy could come in. That's a... 885 01:09:33,002 --> 01:09:34,670 An invitation, airhead. 886 01:09:36,214 --> 01:09:38,090 Hey, Mr. Vincent, package for you. 887 01:09:39,008 --> 01:09:40,092 Fuck! 888 01:09:40,260 --> 01:09:42,094 - (CELL PHONE RINGING) - One second, guys. Business call. 889 01:09:42,846 --> 01:09:45,264 Hello. Oh, yeah. 890 01:09:45,390 --> 01:09:49,268 No, I'm looking at them right now. Yeah, come on up. 891 01:09:50,436 --> 01:09:52,437 He's actually quite modern. 892 01:09:52,564 --> 01:09:55,357 Jerry dispensed with all that "master" stuff. 893 01:09:55,692 --> 01:09:58,026 Ed, if you have a problem, just keep it with me, okay? 894 01:09:58,111 --> 01:10:02,114 Oh, do I got a problem. You let him get to me. 895 01:10:03,241 --> 01:10:04,783 You let him turn me into this. 896 01:10:08,788 --> 01:10:10,080 Stay away, demon. 897 01:10:10,206 --> 01:10:12,040 Is that itsy-bitsy little sticky for me? 898 01:10:12,125 --> 01:10:13,959 It's a crucifixion nail. It's lethal to you. 899 01:10:14,127 --> 01:10:17,045 Yeah. That's old school. Nice! 900 01:10:17,213 --> 01:10:19,965 You're going to have to get pretty close to use that thing, though. 901 01:10:20,967 --> 01:10:22,259 (ED GROWLS) 902 01:10:25,388 --> 01:10:26,638 (SCREAMING) 903 01:10:26,723 --> 01:10:27,973 (LAUGHING) Oh, no, you don't. 904 01:10:28,141 --> 01:10:29,224 Come on! Let's go! 905 01:10:32,645 --> 01:10:33,812 (ED SCREAMING) 906 01:10:35,315 --> 01:10:36,815 Holy shit! 907 01:10:38,151 --> 01:10:39,776 You took my arm! 908 01:10:40,320 --> 01:10:43,280 Are you enjoying your panic room, master of darkness? 909 01:10:43,448 --> 01:10:45,824 God, you are such a pussy. I love it! 910 01:10:46,743 --> 01:10:47,826 Come on! 911 01:10:51,164 --> 01:10:52,164 AMY: Oh, my God. 912 01:10:53,833 --> 01:10:56,251 - Oh, my God. - Amy, listen to me. 913 01:10:56,753 --> 01:10:59,755 There's more than one way out, and there's a million things to fight with. 914 01:10:59,839 --> 01:11:01,590 We're going to be okay. All right? 915 01:11:01,674 --> 01:11:03,842 - Yeah. - Trust me. Come on. 916 01:11:07,180 --> 01:11:08,180 Come on! 917 01:11:11,476 --> 01:11:12,684 Damn it. 918 01:11:14,312 --> 01:11:16,688 ED: Give it up, Chuck. 919 01:11:17,982 --> 01:11:21,109 If you hadn't turned out to be such a dick, 920 01:11:21,277 --> 01:11:23,278 I might have tricked you out. 921 01:11:23,363 --> 01:11:25,656 We could have rocked this evil shit together! 922 01:11:27,367 --> 01:11:28,867 Sign in, please. 923 01:11:29,452 --> 01:11:33,330 Sign in, all right? Hey! I'm talking to you. 924 01:11:34,832 --> 01:11:36,208 I need you to sign in. No exceptions... 925 01:11:49,847 --> 01:11:52,808 ED: I expected more of a fight from you, Brewster. 926 01:11:53,810 --> 01:11:55,978 Girl's made you lazy in the head. 927 01:11:57,355 --> 01:11:58,814 Pussy will do that. 928 01:12:01,067 --> 01:12:03,694 I can hear you breathing. 929 01:12:05,238 --> 01:12:07,489 It's really fucking cool. 930 01:12:10,076 --> 01:12:12,035 I can feel you. 931 01:12:13,204 --> 01:12:14,871 I can taste you. 932 01:12:16,749 --> 01:12:17,833 You're so... 933 01:12:21,587 --> 01:12:22,671 (EXCLAIMING) Fuck! 934 01:12:23,339 --> 01:12:24,381 Come on! 935 01:12:27,427 --> 01:12:29,177 Not so fast, Chuck. 936 01:12:33,433 --> 01:12:35,100 We got some catching up to do, my friend. 937 01:12:35,852 --> 01:12:38,937 Amy, go. Amy, please go! 938 01:12:44,861 --> 01:12:45,902 (LAUGHS) 939 01:12:46,112 --> 01:12:50,240 It's just you and me now, buddy. Mano a mano. 940 01:12:50,366 --> 01:12:52,117 Let's do this. 941 01:12:56,289 --> 01:12:58,081 Nice weapon there, Squid Boy. 942 01:12:58,458 --> 01:12:59,499 Ed... 943 01:12:59,625 --> 01:13:01,376 Not going to do you much good, though, 944 01:13:01,461 --> 01:13:04,254 because I'm a goddamn killing machine. 945 01:13:09,510 --> 01:13:10,594 (ED WHOOPS) 946 01:13:16,768 --> 01:13:18,810 Come on. It's like you're not even trying. 947 01:13:24,025 --> 01:13:25,108 (SCREAMS) 948 01:13:47,173 --> 01:13:48,673 I'm so glad you're here. 949 01:14:09,153 --> 01:14:10,237 Werewolves. 950 01:14:16,702 --> 01:14:17,828 Vampires. 951 01:14:18,037 --> 01:14:19,913 (SCREECHING) 952 01:14:35,054 --> 01:14:36,680 (CRYING) 953 01:14:38,724 --> 01:14:39,766 (LAUGHING PAINFULLY) 954 01:14:40,393 --> 01:14:42,853 Bone is a motherfucker, Chuckles. 955 01:14:44,897 --> 01:14:46,189 It's hard to cut. 956 01:14:52,613 --> 01:14:53,989 Is this weird for you? 957 01:14:54,073 --> 01:14:56,032 Because I'm feeling really homo right about now. 958 01:15:02,039 --> 01:15:03,206 Fuck! 959 01:15:13,593 --> 01:15:15,218 Bimbo's got some juice. 960 01:15:25,396 --> 01:15:26,438 Jerry's here. 961 01:15:30,610 --> 01:15:32,110 Do it, Charley. 962 01:15:34,322 --> 01:15:36,781 Charley, do it now! 963 01:15:49,128 --> 01:15:51,421 It's okay, Charley. It's okay. 964 01:16:01,974 --> 01:16:05,352 Come on. I found the stairs. We have to go. Come on. 965 01:16:07,146 --> 01:16:08,146 Come on. 966 01:16:29,335 --> 01:16:30,377 Shit. 967 01:16:34,340 --> 01:16:36,174 (LOUD MUSIC PLAYING) 968 01:16:41,347 --> 01:16:42,347 Come on. 969 01:16:43,224 --> 01:16:45,892 Wait. He can't kill us, not in here. 970 01:16:46,018 --> 01:16:49,479 Really? Look around. Do you think any of these people are going to notice? 971 01:16:51,023 --> 01:16:52,315 - Oh, shit. - Oh, God. 972 01:17:09,375 --> 01:17:11,710 It's tequila mad T-shirts! 973 01:17:20,052 --> 01:17:23,930 - Amy! - Charley! 974 01:17:25,057 --> 01:17:37,944 Amy! 975 01:17:41,907 --> 01:17:42,907 Charley! 976 01:17:43,576 --> 01:17:44,617 Amy! 977 01:17:47,246 --> 01:17:49,080 Now that is what I'm talking about! 978 01:17:49,248 --> 01:17:51,416 Can you help me? Please? 979 01:17:56,255 --> 01:17:58,173 Charley's going to come. He's gonna find me. 980 01:17:58,257 --> 01:17:59,549 I'm counting on it. 981 01:18:00,968 --> 01:18:04,054 You'll see. You just need a taste. 982 01:18:09,268 --> 01:18:10,518 It could be like a dream. 983 01:18:21,572 --> 01:18:22,614 CHARLEY: Amy! 984 01:18:23,783 --> 01:18:25,575 - How did you get in here? - Listen, man! Listen to me! 985 01:18:25,701 --> 01:18:28,244 He's dangerous. You have to help me. That guy's going to kill her. 986 01:18:29,080 --> 01:18:31,081 Yeah, she looks to be liking it, then. 987 01:18:31,248 --> 01:18:33,291 No, man. Listen, you don't understand! 988 01:18:43,761 --> 01:18:44,803 Attagirl. 989 01:18:48,641 --> 01:18:51,476 - ID, then you can... - I don't have ID! There's no time! 990 01:18:51,811 --> 01:18:53,978 Amy! Amy! 991 01:19:06,992 --> 01:19:09,077 Amy! No! No! 992 01:19:10,579 --> 01:19:13,248 No! Amy! 993 01:19:30,683 --> 01:19:31,766 (GASPS) 994 01:19:31,851 --> 01:19:33,852 Shit! How did you get in here? 995 01:19:34,186 --> 01:19:37,480 Security is a little lax since everybody got their throat torn out. 996 01:19:38,190 --> 01:19:39,441 You, too? Has he turned you? 997 01:19:40,651 --> 01:19:42,360 Check your monitor, man. 998 01:19:49,285 --> 01:19:52,871 I don't know if Amy's alive or dead or turned, but he got her. 999 01:19:54,373 --> 01:19:57,459 I'm going to end him, or he's going to end me. 1000 01:19:57,543 --> 01:19:59,878 That's how it's going to be, and you're gonna come with me. 1001 01:20:04,842 --> 01:20:07,302 Don't you understand this yet? There will be no fighting. 1002 01:20:07,386 --> 01:20:09,637 There will only be surviving. 1003 01:20:10,639 --> 01:20:12,223 - Maybe. - Really? 1004 01:20:12,349 --> 01:20:13,808 You think if you live and we all die, 1005 01:20:13,893 --> 01:20:15,560 you'll be able to get us out of your head? 1006 01:20:16,353 --> 01:20:19,647 No, I know I won't. I never could after the first time. 1007 01:20:21,150 --> 01:20:22,734 So I told myself I made it up. 1008 01:20:24,320 --> 01:20:28,239 I was a kid. Figured it was easier to believe in monsters. 1009 01:20:30,743 --> 01:20:31,868 Made what up? 1010 01:20:34,872 --> 01:20:37,415 The vampire that killed my parents, 1011 01:20:38,417 --> 01:20:39,709 but not me. 1012 01:20:41,420 --> 01:20:44,172 You think I collected all this stuff because it was bitching? 1013 01:20:44,882 --> 01:20:47,842 Come with me. We'll go in at dawn. He's got to rest some time. 1014 01:20:49,261 --> 01:20:53,598 The only reason I survived the last time is because I had the sense to hide. 1015 01:20:54,350 --> 01:20:57,602 If you want to be a dead hero, good for you. I'm out. 1016 01:20:57,895 --> 01:20:58,937 (SCOFFS) 1017 01:20:59,730 --> 01:21:02,774 You think I'm a coward. I'm not. I'm a realist. 1018 01:21:04,610 --> 01:21:06,569 So you just bail on people. 1019 01:21:07,571 --> 01:21:11,115 Hey, I get it. My dad was like that. 1020 01:21:11,283 --> 01:21:14,619 But I don't want to live till tomorrow if you're the kind of man I'm going to be. 1021 01:21:20,626 --> 01:21:22,460 Hang on. Wait. 1022 01:21:26,423 --> 01:21:27,715 Blessed by Saint Michael. 1023 01:21:29,969 --> 01:21:33,638 You kill your vampire with this, it's supposed to change his victims back. 1024 01:21:37,476 --> 01:21:39,143 Maybe you can still save your girlfriend. 1025 01:21:40,980 --> 01:21:42,480 If it's for real. 1026 01:21:44,650 --> 01:21:45,984 You got a plan? 1027 01:21:47,069 --> 01:21:48,570 There's no guarantee he'll be sleeping. 1028 01:21:48,654 --> 01:21:50,822 To stake him, you got to get close. 1029 01:21:54,660 --> 01:21:55,660 Torch him. 1030 01:21:56,912 --> 01:21:59,414 A vampire on fire is not thinking clearly. 1031 01:22:00,833 --> 01:22:04,794 If he's on fire, how do I get close enough to stake him? 1032 01:22:11,594 --> 01:22:12,969 Fuck. 1033 01:22:53,677 --> 01:22:55,053 I'm going to kill a vampire. 1034 01:22:56,513 --> 01:22:58,056 Good for you. 1035 01:23:50,025 --> 01:23:51,442 Amy! Amy! 1036 01:23:52,945 --> 01:23:55,279 - Amy! Amy! - AMY: Charley! 1037 01:23:55,447 --> 01:23:57,949 - You all right? - Hey. Yeah. 1038 01:23:58,117 --> 01:24:00,118 - Hang on. I'm going to get you out. - Hurry. 1039 01:24:00,285 --> 01:24:01,369 (SCREAMS) 1040 01:24:04,873 --> 01:24:06,582 Shit. Shit. 1041 01:24:09,294 --> 01:24:10,878 Amy! Amy? 1042 01:24:13,048 --> 01:24:15,758 - Fuck! - Sorry. 1043 01:24:18,470 --> 01:24:20,388 I guess I don't want to be a man like me, either. 1044 01:24:25,436 --> 01:24:26,644 Let's kill something. 1045 01:24:29,815 --> 01:24:31,774 Floor trap. I use them all the time. 1046 01:24:32,568 --> 01:24:33,818 What do you think is down there? 1047 01:24:34,653 --> 01:24:35,945 There's only one way to find out. 1048 01:24:36,822 --> 01:24:38,489 You're going down? 1049 01:24:38,615 --> 01:24:42,326 See that? Like a great date. You get me drunk, I'll try anything. 1050 01:25:04,433 --> 01:25:06,517 Peter. Peter. 1051 01:25:21,200 --> 01:25:25,328 Oh, shit. I may not be drunk enough for this. 1052 01:25:31,877 --> 01:25:33,211 After you. 1053 01:26:11,250 --> 01:26:12,291 AMY: Help! 1054 01:26:17,714 --> 01:26:19,382 You know this is a trap, right? 1055 01:26:20,300 --> 01:26:21,634 I'm counting on it. 1056 01:26:49,663 --> 01:26:50,746 Fuck! 1057 01:27:03,552 --> 01:27:04,844 She's all yours. 1058 01:27:09,641 --> 01:27:11,475 Look at you, all grown up. 1059 01:27:13,854 --> 01:27:15,521 Welcome to Fright Night, 1060 01:27:17,816 --> 01:27:19,275 for real! 1061 01:27:26,033 --> 01:27:27,366 Oh, fuck. 1062 01:27:31,496 --> 01:27:33,039 You've got your mother's eyes. 1063 01:27:36,752 --> 01:27:38,377 And your father's aim. 1064 01:27:41,256 --> 01:27:42,298 Better. 1065 01:27:43,175 --> 01:27:44,216 Fuck! 1066 01:27:47,220 --> 01:27:48,262 Amy! 1067 01:28:07,699 --> 01:28:08,741 Ow! 1068 01:28:12,871 --> 01:28:14,038 Really? 1069 01:28:17,042 --> 01:28:18,542 A pebble? That's it? 1070 01:28:22,881 --> 01:28:24,215 (RUSTLING) 1071 01:28:24,716 --> 01:28:26,467 Oh, shit. 1072 01:28:46,321 --> 01:28:47,488 Fuck! 1073 01:28:50,492 --> 01:28:53,619 You know you should have saved me, Charley. 1074 01:28:54,621 --> 01:28:57,289 There's still time. All right? 1075 01:29:04,881 --> 01:29:07,299 He's inside me now. 1076 01:29:26,570 --> 01:29:27,987 Fucking eBay! 1077 01:29:32,284 --> 01:29:34,452 I'll be the best you ever had. 1078 01:29:34,578 --> 01:29:37,496 The only you ever had. 1079 01:29:39,875 --> 01:29:44,295 Charley, we could be together forever. 1080 01:29:55,390 --> 01:29:56,807 (SCREECHES) 1081 01:30:02,439 --> 01:30:03,481 Shit! 1082 01:30:21,666 --> 01:30:23,626 - You missed. - I know. 1083 01:30:29,758 --> 01:30:31,175 (PETER GROANING) 1084 01:30:37,224 --> 01:30:38,349 (COCKING GUN) 1085 01:30:47,484 --> 01:30:48,526 (VAMPIRES SCREECHING) 1086 01:30:55,283 --> 01:30:57,326 - How you holding up? - Oh, fucking great. 1087 01:30:59,371 --> 01:31:01,664 - Mark? - You're dead now, asshole. 1088 01:31:03,458 --> 01:31:05,292 (SCATTING) 1089 01:31:07,587 --> 01:31:08,838 JERRY: What were you thinking, Charley? 1090 01:31:09,589 --> 01:31:13,884 That you were just going to walk in here with your little crossbow 1091 01:31:14,010 --> 01:31:17,012 and put to bed 400 years of survival? 1092 01:31:17,347 --> 01:31:19,723 No, Charley. Not likely. 1093 01:31:20,517 --> 01:31:21,559 (SNIFFING) 1094 01:31:21,643 --> 01:31:23,185 You smell that? 1095 01:31:24,896 --> 01:31:26,188 It's your fear. 1096 01:31:29,693 --> 01:31:30,985 It's intoxicating. 1097 01:31:31,820 --> 01:31:35,990 It's a very specific scent, Charley. 1098 01:31:42,956 --> 01:31:44,582 (BURNING) 1099 01:31:48,712 --> 01:31:50,754 Amy's scent, 1100 01:31:52,007 --> 01:31:54,842 now that was exquisite. 1101 01:31:56,052 --> 01:31:59,513 It's all gone now, Charley. 1102 01:32:02,684 --> 01:32:04,435 She's something, isn't she? 1103 01:32:06,021 --> 01:32:08,689 I have to thank you for bringing her to me. 1104 01:32:10,066 --> 01:32:12,985 Well, she makes me feel young again. 1105 01:32:14,988 --> 01:32:16,155 I'm smoking. 1106 01:32:16,489 --> 01:32:18,490 Yeah, you're turning. 1107 01:32:20,035 --> 01:32:21,702 You can't stay there forever, Charley. 1108 01:32:22,704 --> 01:32:25,664 The sun's got to go down, but we can wait. 1109 01:32:37,844 --> 01:32:38,969 That's rough. 1110 01:33:05,956 --> 01:33:07,081 Got a light? 1111 01:33:15,799 --> 01:33:16,924 That's your plan? 1112 01:33:18,802 --> 01:33:20,761 Actually, it's your plan. 1113 01:33:27,185 --> 01:33:28,227 Fuck. 1114 01:33:47,122 --> 01:33:49,039 (GROWLING) 1115 01:34:23,658 --> 01:34:24,992 Fuck you! 1116 01:34:31,583 --> 01:34:33,334 (SCREECHING) 1117 01:34:35,545 --> 01:34:37,921 Charley! In the heart! 1118 01:34:41,968 --> 01:34:43,719 (SCREECHING MANIACALLY) 1119 01:34:47,057 --> 01:34:48,474 (SCREAMING) 1120 01:34:51,728 --> 01:34:53,354 (GROANING) 1121 01:35:30,100 --> 01:35:32,059 Charley? Charley, come on. 1122 01:35:32,185 --> 01:35:34,019 Come on, Charley! 1123 01:35:34,145 --> 01:35:36,563 Charley, come on. Come on, come on. 1124 01:35:36,689 --> 01:35:38,023 Wake up. Wake up. 1125 01:35:39,109 --> 01:35:40,943 Come on, you little prick. 1126 01:35:42,487 --> 01:35:43,529 Charley! 1127 01:35:57,419 --> 01:36:01,255 Hey. 1128 01:36:03,341 --> 01:36:04,508 You okay? 1129 01:36:06,386 --> 01:36:07,469 Yeah. 1130 01:36:09,139 --> 01:36:10,264 Are you? 1131 01:36:14,185 --> 01:36:15,519 (CHUCKLES) Yeah, I'm all right. 1132 01:36:19,357 --> 01:36:20,524 PETER: You little shit. 1133 01:36:21,860 --> 01:36:25,154 Next time you're going to use my plan, give me a heads-up first. 1134 01:36:27,240 --> 01:36:28,282 (LAUGHS) 1135 01:36:29,868 --> 01:36:31,160 (PETER EXHALES) 1136 01:36:34,330 --> 01:36:35,789 That was a fucked-up night. 1137 01:36:37,584 --> 01:36:39,418 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 1138 01:36:57,353 --> 01:36:58,479 Are you sure? 1139 01:37:00,356 --> 01:37:01,398 Yeah. 1140 01:37:04,986 --> 01:37:06,862 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 1141 01:37:06,946 --> 01:37:08,697 (GROANS) 1142 01:37:08,781 --> 01:37:09,990 One second. 1143 01:37:12,327 --> 01:37:13,452 Hello? 1144 01:37:13,786 --> 01:37:16,163 It's me. Just checking in. What are you up to? 1145 01:37:20,919 --> 01:37:21,960 Nothing, nothing. 1146 01:37:22,086 --> 01:37:23,921 - What are you doing? - Just did a little shopping 1147 01:37:24,047 --> 01:37:25,923 - for the new house. - Shopping? Nice. 1148 01:37:26,049 --> 01:37:29,551 Something actually just came up, and I have to go. 1149 01:37:29,886 --> 01:37:30,928 You okay? 1150 01:37:31,054 --> 01:37:32,846 Yeah, I'm good. Are you all right? 1151 01:37:32,972 --> 01:37:34,973 Yeah, monster free. 1152 01:37:35,099 --> 01:37:37,726 Good. Monster free is good. I'll talk to you later, okay? 1153 01:37:37,810 --> 01:37:38,894 Okay, bye. 1154 01:37:40,730 --> 01:37:43,023 If you're naked, I'm absolutely going to look. 1155 01:37:43,149 --> 01:37:45,067 Dude! Dude! 1156 01:37:45,193 --> 01:37:49,404 I know. Sorry. I left my phone. 1157 01:37:49,739 --> 01:37:52,199 I'm not looking. I promise. See? 1158 01:37:52,325 --> 01:37:55,953 I can't see a thing. All right. That's it. I'm out of here. 1159 01:37:56,120 --> 01:37:58,455 It's all yours. Don't do anything I wouldn't do. 1160 01:37:58,790 --> 01:38:00,290 That doesn't narrow it down. 1161 01:38:00,416 --> 01:38:03,418 There's, like, mini golf and sushi. Carry on! 1162 01:38:06,506 --> 01:38:09,800 Will you promise me, now we'll finally be alone? 1163 01:38:10,468 --> 01:38:11,802 I promise. 1164 01:38:11,928 --> 01:38:14,888 - Promise? - I promise, promise, promise. 82269

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