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How would you define horror?
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If today's people put down their newfangled gizmos and gadgets
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for a brief moment, they'd probably start rambling on about nonsense
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like wars, plagues, and terrorist attacks.
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What they would neglect to mention are the actual horrors of reality,
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like witches, ghouls, and alien saucers.
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However, after tonight, you can add something else to that list,
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the primal and disturbing horror of the unknown.
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Charlie, what are you supposed to be?
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He's doesn't want to dress up as anything.
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I've seen way too many people get their careers ruined
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over old Halloween costumes. I'm not doing it.
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Why don't you just put on some face paint and be a zombie or something?
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Dude, face paint gets people in way more trouble than anything else.
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I mean I have no idea what's gonna be offensive in 10 years.
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Come on, Charlie, where's your Halloween spirit?
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When you put on a costume, you can be anything!
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Pim, that's insane.
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Could regular Pim be the sharpest gunslinger in the West?
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- You're not gonna hit it, dude. - Don't leave them all over the floor.
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I'm like 100% positive you're not going to hit that.
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Okay, he actually hit it.
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Oh my god, Allan! I'm so sorry.
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- What the fuck, Pim? - I thought these were safe, Allan.
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It's fine, just no more guns inside. We're done with the gun stuff.
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Everyone! I have some bad news. Halloween is cancelled.
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Yeah. We're all out of firewood
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and it's just not the same without a big Halloween fire pit.
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If only someone could wrangle up some firewood.
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- Well... - I could wrangle up some firewood!
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Pim, that's wonderful!
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Follow me, I'll show you where the good stuff is.
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Alright, see those woods over there?
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Yeah.
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So, I usually just go in there and pick some crap off the floor.
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- Okay. - What?
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I was just saying okay.
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It's all good, it's all good.
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Anyway, yeah, it's usually a little bit sparse this time of year,
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but if you look hard enough, you should be able to find something.
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That sounds pretty easy, I should be able to do that.
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Wait! One more thing.
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Whatever you do, don't go beyond the rickety bridge.
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Why not?
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Because you'll get lost!
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Picking up twigs, picking up twigs, I like, I like picking up twigs.
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One twig, two twig, three twig, four,
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I like twigs, and I want some more!
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Thank you, Mr. Bird!
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These twigs are nice and all,
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but I wish I had something with a bit more girth.
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That's more like it!
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What did the boss say about that rickety bridge again?
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Don't go beyond the rickety bridge.
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You'll get lost.
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The boss did say not to go beyond the rickety bridge,
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but all the good firewood is there!
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This truly is a cowboy's dilemma.
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If I just mark the trees like a true pioneer,
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I'll be able to find my way back no problem!
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Well, a cowboy's gotta do what a cowboy's gotta do.
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Alright, that's about all I can carry.
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I should probably get back to the office anyway, it's getting late.
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No, no, no, no!
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Fudge!
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I'll just stay here til the rain dies down.
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Everything's gonna be fine.
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This place isn't so bad.
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In fact, I could see myself settling down here!
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Yeah, right there is where my exotic wife will sit and knit me
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beautiful quilts! Hello, wifey!
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Hello, Pim! I do love you!
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And that's where the younglings will sit
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and go wild with fun! Hello my babies!
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Hello, Daddy Pim!
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And out there is where I'll toil away on my lovely farm! Hello, farmy!
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- What do I do? - Run, Daddy Pim!
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You'll never escape! You're gonna die here, Pim!
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Is that fucking black face, dude?
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No, no, no, this isn't black face, I'm an actual demon.
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Bro, please tell me that's not blackface.
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No, you don't understand, I'm literally a forest demon
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from across the bridge. This isn't a costume.
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Get the fuck out, man!
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See, that's exactly why I don't dress up for Halloween.
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Right there, that's the reason.
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Pim, thanks for wranglin' up that firewood, buddy.
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Halloween is saved!
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So my friends, what did we learn tonight?
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The only thing more horrifying than the unknown out there
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is the unknown in here.
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And if you knew what went on in here,
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you'd freak out.
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I guess I'm just a bit more demented than most.
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Buddy, you can't be hanging around here watching cartoons.
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We've been getting complaints all night, you need to leave.
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Why?! What law am I breaking?
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That'd be Title 18, Chapter 55, Section 5506,
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loitering and prowling at night. It's a third-degree misdemeanor.
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Okay. I didn't know that.
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Excuse me.
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