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1
00:00:02,514 --> 00:00:04,474
Gus, give me five.
2
00:00:05,263 --> 00:00:07,170
Give me five.
3
00:00:07,825 --> 00:00:11,021
[grunts] Your paw, my hand,
make it happen.
4
00:00:12,257 --> 00:00:13,391
Oh, come on.
5
00:00:13,478 --> 00:00:15,124
I have seen you do it
with other people.
6
00:00:15,212 --> 00:00:16,405
ADAM:
Ah, damn it!
7
00:00:16,493 --> 00:00:17,835
Ooh, Daddy's mad.
8
00:00:17,923 --> 00:00:19,372
United front, right?
9
00:00:19,624 --> 00:00:21,163
I'll remember this.
10
00:00:22,603 --> 00:00:25,249
Did you eat the chocolate
out of my nightstand drawer?
11
00:00:25,655 --> 00:00:28,804
Sorry. I have to get gas today;
I'll pick you up another one.
12
00:00:28,892 --> 00:00:30,937
This isn't gas station
chocolate.
13
00:00:31,140 --> 00:00:33,054
It has hints of elderberry
and sea salt.
14
00:00:33,142 --> 00:00:35,361
It's 72% cacao.
15
00:00:36,718 --> 00:00:38,428
You're so upset you don't know
how to pronounce it.
16
00:00:38,515 --> 00:00:40,898
I love you, honey,
but it's cocoa.
17
00:00:42,273 --> 00:00:44,757
No, it's cacao, you hillbilly.
18
00:00:46,343 --> 00:00:49,724
And I was savoring this
one square at a time.
19
00:00:49,812 --> 00:00:52,945
You ripped through this thing
like Augustus Gloop.
20
00:00:53,468 --> 00:00:54,505
Who?
21
00:00:54,593 --> 00:00:57,515
The fat Nazi kid
from Willy Wonka.
22
00:01:00,148 --> 00:01:01,671
He was a Nazi?
23
00:01:02,850 --> 00:01:04,067
If I wanted to share it,
24
00:01:04,155 --> 00:01:05,070
I would have put it
in the kitchen
25
00:01:05,158 --> 00:01:06,677
where everything of mine
gets eaten.
26
00:01:06,765 --> 00:01:08,077
Stay out of my drawer.
27
00:01:08,180 --> 00:01:10,945
Ah, I think you're overreacting.
28
00:01:11,320 --> 00:01:12,773
Can I make you a cup of tea
29
00:01:12,861 --> 00:01:16,273
or a nice comforting mug
of hot "cacao"?
30
00:01:21,146 --> 00:01:22,570
No.
31
00:01:23,388 --> 00:01:25,450
Hey, Rudy,
what are the specials?
32
00:01:25,538 --> 00:01:27,007
Well, I'll tell you
what's special.
33
00:01:27,095 --> 00:01:30,374
A cheery hello
from my good friend Christy.
34
00:01:30,884 --> 00:01:32,452
Oh, God,
what do you want?
35
00:01:32,540 --> 00:01:34,556
A wee favor-poo. Hmm?
36
00:01:34,644 --> 00:01:35,773
I got a DUI.
37
00:01:35,861 --> 00:01:37,863
They suspended my license,
and so, get this:
38
00:01:37,951 --> 00:01:41,562
I am legally required
to do that thing you do.
39
00:01:42,205 --> 00:01:44,195
Cry myself to sleep?
40
00:01:44,431 --> 00:01:47,130
I'm referring to your meetings
with the other drunkards.
41
00:01:47,218 --> 00:01:50,624
I have to go to ten AA meetings
and get this card signed.
42
00:01:50,712 --> 00:01:53,030
So, could you go
to ten AA meetings
43
00:01:53,118 --> 00:01:55,033
and get this card signed?
44
00:01:55,554 --> 00:01:56,734
No.
45
00:01:56,822 --> 00:01:59,038
If you've been ordered
to go, you have to go.
46
00:01:59,147 --> 00:02:01,237
All right.
When are you picking me up?
47
00:02:01,358 --> 00:02:02,843
Why do I have
to pick you up?
48
00:02:02,931 --> 00:02:04,398
Because I could go to jail,
49
00:02:04,517 --> 00:02:07,374
and your livelihood
depends on me.
50
00:02:07,462 --> 00:02:09,273
God, no.
51
00:02:10,165 --> 00:02:13,168
[sighs] There's a meeting
tomorrow at 8:00 a.m.
52
00:02:13,256 --> 00:02:14,561
at the community center.
53
00:02:14,654 --> 00:02:17,062
Oof. I do not like
54
00:02:17,150 --> 00:02:19,530
any of those words.
55
00:02:20,764 --> 00:02:22,242
There's another
meeting at 3:00,
56
00:02:22,329 --> 00:02:24,636
but I know people at that one,
so you have to be nice.
57
00:02:24,737 --> 00:02:27,702
I'll have a couple of cocktails
beforehand, loosen up.
58
00:02:27,790 --> 00:02:28,790
Yeah.
59
00:02:29,829 --> 00:02:31,968
Why do you hate me?
60
00:02:33,226 --> 00:02:35,312
♪♪
61
00:02:55,230 --> 00:02:56,577
[laughter]
62
00:02:56,665 --> 00:02:58,988
It is pronounced "cacao."
63
00:03:01,847 --> 00:03:02,908
What?
64
00:03:02,996 --> 00:03:06,371
Yes, chocolate is made
from the cacao bean.
65
00:03:07,050 --> 00:03:10,526
Marjorie, chocolate
does not come from a bean.
66
00:03:12,388 --> 00:03:14,206
The point is,
it's just stupid candy,
67
00:03:14,294 --> 00:03:15,730
and he should get over it.
68
00:03:15,823 --> 00:03:17,862
Does Adam really ask
for that much?
69
00:03:17,965 --> 00:03:19,258
Sexually?
70
00:03:19,346 --> 00:03:20,940
Why would I be
talking sexually?
71
00:03:21,028 --> 00:03:23,479
You tell me. P.S., yes.
72
00:03:24,334 --> 00:03:27,370
I'm just saying it might be nice
to respect his boundaries.
73
00:03:27,458 --> 00:03:29,448
- Sexually?
- Goodbye.
74
00:03:30,823 --> 00:03:32,792
- Marjorie is really losing it.
- Big time.
75
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,268
She just threw a birthday
party for one of her cats.
76
00:03:35,356 --> 00:03:37,971
I had to make a speech,
with no heads-up.
77
00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:40,667
Pretty good cake, though.
78
00:03:42,418 --> 00:03:43,971
Rudy, in here.
79
00:03:44,350 --> 00:03:45,565
All the way.
80
00:03:45,653 --> 00:03:47,002
Come on.
81
00:03:49,892 --> 00:03:53,421
Oof. Cloudy with a chance
of suicide.
82
00:03:54,872 --> 00:03:57,003
I told you to be nice.
83
00:03:57,091 --> 00:03:58,503
Now shut up and sit down.
84
00:03:58,591 --> 00:03:59,714
I'll get you a
cup of coffee.
85
00:03:59,802 --> 00:04:02,674
Cappuccino, bone dry,
one pump of vanilla.
86
00:04:04,133 --> 00:04:05,307
Hi, I'm Mary.
87
00:04:05,395 --> 00:04:06,925
No.
88
00:04:08,846 --> 00:04:10,237
[groaning]
89
00:04:10,325 --> 00:04:11,596
What a nightmare.
90
00:04:11,684 --> 00:04:13,628
Ah, sorry about
the Lorna Doones.
91
00:04:13,716 --> 00:04:14,785
I didn't have time to bake.
92
00:04:14,872 --> 00:04:17,175
I was busy planning
a birthday party.
93
00:04:18,037 --> 00:04:19,473
It's not that.
94
00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:21,028
I'm babysitting Chef Rudy.
95
00:04:21,116 --> 00:04:22,421
He got a DUI.
96
00:04:22,789 --> 00:04:24,239
Court-ordered attendance?
97
00:04:24,327 --> 00:04:26,176
And resenting every minute of it.
[scoffs]
98
00:04:26,369 --> 00:04:28,012
He doesn't care
about getting sober.
99
00:04:28,100 --> 00:04:29,972
It's just a waste of time.
100
00:04:30,106 --> 00:04:33,309
Christy, if you change
your attitude about Rudy,
101
00:04:33,500 --> 00:04:35,692
you could be the one
to help save his life.
102
00:04:36,624 --> 00:04:37,871
Huh.
103
00:04:38,311 --> 00:04:40,160
I never thought
of making it about me.
104
00:04:40,248 --> 00:04:42,098
Have I taught you nothing?
105
00:04:44,452 --> 00:04:48,121
So... you got through
your first meeting.
106
00:04:48,209 --> 00:04:49,340
I'm proud of you.
107
00:04:49,428 --> 00:04:51,082
I know it's a lot.
108
00:04:51,389 --> 00:04:52,543
Tell me how
you're feeling.
109
00:04:52,631 --> 00:04:53,707
There's no wrong answer.
110
00:04:53,795 --> 00:04:55,785
One down, nine to go.
111
00:04:58,171 --> 00:04:59,563
All right, let's hit it.
112
00:04:59,651 --> 00:05:00,940
Wait. No.
What's happening?
113
00:05:01,028 --> 00:05:02,682
Who are these people?
114
00:05:02,856 --> 00:05:04,049
It's Wendy and Jill.
115
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:05,878
They both shared at the meeting.
116
00:05:06,195 --> 00:05:09,018
Yes. I'm still a-tingle.
Hmm.
117
00:05:09,284 --> 00:05:12,705
Why are they in the backseat
of your dreary economy car?
118
00:05:13,193 --> 00:05:14,846
Christy, am I allowed
to be mean to him?
119
00:05:14,934 --> 00:05:16,221
No, he's a newcomer.
120
00:05:16,309 --> 00:05:18,682
Damn it. Welcome.
121
00:05:19,372 --> 00:05:21,135
So glad you're joining us.
122
00:05:21,223 --> 00:05:24,308
After meetings we all go to
the bistro for coffee and pie.
123
00:05:24,396 --> 00:05:27,225
I was not court-ordered
for coffee and pie.
124
00:05:27,512 --> 00:05:29,236
Okay, then get an Uber.
125
00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:31,768
Alas, I've been banned
by Uber, Lyft,
126
00:05:31,856 --> 00:05:33,398
and most gypsy cabs.
127
00:05:33,486 --> 00:05:36,125
Apparently, there are
cameras everywhere now.
128
00:05:36,220 --> 00:05:38,187
Ugh, tell me about it.
129
00:05:38,275 --> 00:05:39,633
In the Neiman Marcus
dressing room...
130
00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:42,114
No, no. We're not
going back and forth.
131
00:05:43,361 --> 00:05:46,281
Again, welcome.
132
00:05:47,277 --> 00:05:49,279
♪♪
133
00:05:50,866 --> 00:05:52,898
Oh, are you kidding me?
134
00:05:53,029 --> 00:05:56,867
Literally, the last thing I said
to you was leave my stuff alone.
135
00:05:56,955 --> 00:05:59,598
- I was replacing your chocolate.
- [sighs]
136
00:05:59,674 --> 00:06:00,937
What the hell is that?
137
00:06:01,025 --> 00:06:03,484
I think you mean "thank you."
138
00:06:04,690 --> 00:06:06,083
This isn't even chocolate.
139
00:06:06,171 --> 00:06:08,347
It's carob; it's-it's-it's
hippie chocolate.
140
00:06:08,435 --> 00:06:10,062
Well, it's the only thing
I could find
141
00:06:10,150 --> 00:06:11,375
in Marjorie's purse.
142
00:06:11,486 --> 00:06:13,141
By the way, she was
asking a lot of questions
143
00:06:13,228 --> 00:06:14,547
about our sex life.
144
00:06:14,635 --> 00:06:16,470
That is one dirty bird.
145
00:06:16,825 --> 00:06:19,752
Look, I need to have something
around here that's just mine.
146
00:06:19,840 --> 00:06:21,033
Where is this
all coming from?
147
00:06:21,121 --> 00:06:22,839
It never bothered you
before we were married.
148
00:06:22,926 --> 00:06:24,094
Because I had my own apartment.
149
00:06:24,181 --> 00:06:26,588
I had my own living room,
my own kitchen, my own bed.
150
00:06:26,676 --> 00:06:28,765
Okay, we get it, guy,
you had a lot of stuff.
151
00:06:28,853 --> 00:06:30,681
Now I'm down
to a couple of drawers.
152
00:06:30,769 --> 00:06:31,940
And my wife
can't stay out of 'em.
153
00:06:32,027 --> 00:06:34,213
Hey, hold up.
You rented out your apartment
154
00:06:34,301 --> 00:06:36,635
so you could put more money
into a bar I can't drink in.
155
00:06:36,723 --> 00:06:38,736
I put a cocktail on the menu
called The Bonnie.
156
00:06:38,824 --> 00:06:40,142
Yeah.
Don't think I didn't notice
157
00:06:40,230 --> 00:06:41,572
the last ingredient was bitters.
158
00:06:41,676 --> 00:06:42,978
See? See? See?
159
00:06:43,066 --> 00:06:44,181
This is what you do.
160
00:06:44,269 --> 00:06:45,549
You change the subject.
161
00:06:45,637 --> 00:06:48,197
We're talking about me
living in your house.
162
00:06:48,285 --> 00:06:50,908
And I know it's your house
'cause none of me is in here.
163
00:06:50,996 --> 00:06:52,486
Well, if you want
any of you in here,
164
00:06:52,574 --> 00:06:54,359
you better back
it down a notch.
165
00:06:54,729 --> 00:06:57,252
I think we both know
you'd cave before me.
166
00:06:57,340 --> 00:06:59,283
Well, excuse me
for being vital.
167
00:06:59,371 --> 00:07:02,734
And you know damn well
I have to live in "my house"
168
00:07:02,822 --> 00:07:04,417
because I'm
the building manager.
169
00:07:04,504 --> 00:07:05,940
Perhaps the real issue is why
170
00:07:06,028 --> 00:07:07,619
are you so threatened
by my career?
171
00:07:07,707 --> 00:07:08,720
[chuckles]:
Your what?
172
00:07:08,808 --> 00:07:12,213
Th-There it is. And you
wonder why we still march.
173
00:07:12,532 --> 00:07:13,720
What are you doing?
174
00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:15,424
You want space?
Have the whole room.
175
00:07:15,512 --> 00:07:18,197
Including your drawer.
176
00:07:21,067 --> 00:07:24,627
I had so many opportunities
to get out of this.
177
00:07:28,805 --> 00:07:31,119
No. No.
No-no-no-no-no.
178
00:07:31,207 --> 00:07:32,635
No! No!
179
00:07:32,723 --> 00:07:34,072
No!
180
00:07:36,681 --> 00:07:38,525
[sighs]
181
00:07:39,538 --> 00:07:41,166
Off.
182
00:07:42,994 --> 00:07:44,174
Off.
183
00:08:00,275 --> 00:08:02,533
Just remember, I can fart, too.
184
00:08:09,609 --> 00:08:11,596
♪♪
185
00:08:11,980 --> 00:08:14,399
Wendy, you're some kind
of nurse, right?
186
00:08:17,050 --> 00:08:19,012
Why are you all still surprised?
187
00:08:19,675 --> 00:08:21,642
My neck is really stiff
from last night.
188
00:08:21,730 --> 00:08:23,017
Could you massage this?
189
00:08:23,105 --> 00:08:24,511
Could you be
nice to me?
190
00:08:25,652 --> 00:08:27,441
Jill, could you massage this?
191
00:08:30,652 --> 00:08:33,925
Feels weird rubbing somebody
who's never bought me jewelry.
192
00:08:34,286 --> 00:08:36,145
You didn't have
to sleep on the couch.
193
00:08:36,233 --> 00:08:37,800
All you had to do
was apologize to him.
194
00:08:37,887 --> 00:08:39,954
Which is exactly why I had
to sleep on the couch.
195
00:08:40,042 --> 00:08:41,527
Keep up with the story.
196
00:08:41,615 --> 00:08:45,241
Look, Bonnie, Adam needs to
feel like it's his house, too.
197
00:08:45,424 --> 00:08:47,548
Maybe if you let him bring
a few of his things over,
198
00:08:47,636 --> 00:08:51,331
he'll relax and you can stop
stealing my pocketbook snacks.
199
00:08:51,419 --> 00:08:53,037
Nope, nope, nope.
Sorry, but I got
200
00:08:53,099 --> 00:08:55,011
to overrule
the Grand Poo-Bah here.
201
00:08:55,307 --> 00:08:57,701
My ex tried to put one of those
tables in the living room
202
00:08:57,789 --> 00:09:00,144
that have those twirly flippy
men on 'em, what do you call it?
203
00:09:00,231 --> 00:09:02,659
Foosball? You got
a foosball table?
204
00:09:05,757 --> 00:09:07,367
No, I do not.
205
00:09:07,455 --> 00:09:10,477
Because marriage is all about
establishing dominance.
206
00:09:10,565 --> 00:09:12,346
So is foosball.
207
00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:14,948
[phone ringing]
208
00:09:15,111 --> 00:09:16,573
- Ugh.
- What?
209
00:09:16,752 --> 00:09:18,550
Rudy on FaceTime.
210
00:09:19,175 --> 00:09:20,346
Hmm. What?
211
00:09:20,448 --> 00:09:21,832
RUDY: I need you to
drive me to the mall.
212
00:09:21,919 --> 00:09:23,675
I'm desperate for underpants.
213
00:09:24,238 --> 00:09:25,268
I see that.
214
00:09:25,356 --> 00:09:27,358
Can you tilt the phone up?
215
00:09:28,197 --> 00:09:29,978
So be a lamb,
pick me up in five.
216
00:09:30,052 --> 00:09:31,065
No.
217
00:09:31,153 --> 00:09:32,675
I'm taking you
to meetings, that's it.
218
00:09:32,763 --> 00:09:34,307
Well, what am I to do,
hitchhike?
219
00:09:34,395 --> 00:09:35,831
My features are too delicate.
220
00:09:35,919 --> 00:09:38,175
I would be ravaged
by some trucker.
221
00:09:38,351 --> 00:09:39,807
Well, after he's done
with you,
222
00:09:39,895 --> 00:09:42,159
tell him to drop you off
at the mall.
223
00:09:43,135 --> 00:09:44,292
Can you believe it?
224
00:09:44,395 --> 00:09:46,159
He's being such a jerk
about meetings,
225
00:09:46,247 --> 00:09:48,284
and now he expects me
to be his chauffeur.
226
00:09:48,556 --> 00:09:51,305
Well, in his defense,
he's being forced to go to AA.
227
00:09:51,393 --> 00:09:52,456
That's never easy.
228
00:09:52,544 --> 00:09:53,728
Even if you
aren't dragged there,
229
00:09:53,815 --> 00:09:55,511
that first meeting's
tough.
230
00:09:55,671 --> 00:09:56,839
I liked mine.
231
00:09:57,009 --> 00:09:59,095
People were friendly.
They wanted to hear what I had to...
232
00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:00,503
I was a wreck.
233
00:10:00,622 --> 00:10:01,841
I started
crying so hard,
234
00:10:01,928 --> 00:10:04,060
some old coke
came out of my nose.[chuckles]
235
00:10:04,268 --> 00:10:06,149
Looked like
tiny snowballs.
236
00:10:08,021 --> 00:10:10,589
I just remember riding in on
that lawn mower and thinking,
237
00:10:10,676 --> 00:10:12,242
"It's come to this."
238
00:10:12,329 --> 00:10:14,288
[chuckles] ..say.
239
00:10:16,136 --> 00:10:17,487
What are you
talking about?
240
00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:18,649
I was just trying
to finish
241
00:10:18,737 --> 00:10:20,082
- what I...
- I tried to help Rudy.
242
00:10:20,169 --> 00:10:21,249
He's a lost cause.
243
00:10:21,337 --> 00:10:22,846
What I had to say!
244
00:10:23,794 --> 00:10:24,794
Are you okay?
245
00:10:24,882 --> 00:10:26,354
No.
246
00:10:27,471 --> 00:10:29,738
He doesn't sound like
a lost cause to me.
247
00:10:29,825 --> 00:10:31,740
He sounds like a
very lonely man.
248
00:10:31,827 --> 00:10:33,923
Didn't even have someone
to take him to the mall.
249
00:10:34,011 --> 00:10:35,701
Try to be patient
with him.
250
00:10:36,338 --> 00:10:37,542
Why would I reward him?
251
00:10:37,630 --> 00:10:40,096
He just showed me
his plums.
252
00:10:41,957 --> 00:10:43,300
So, yea or nay
on the mall?
253
00:10:43,388 --> 00:10:44,797
'Cause I could use
some new undies, too.
254
00:10:44,884 --> 00:10:46,706
Today I had to wear
a pair of Marjorie's.
255
00:10:46,794 --> 00:10:47,800
What?
256
00:10:47,887 --> 00:10:49,236
I mean, not Marjorie's.
257
00:10:49,563 --> 00:10:51,166
Someone else's.
258
00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:54,675
♪♪
259
00:10:55,194 --> 00:10:57,573
[refrigerator door opens]
260
00:11:08,995 --> 00:11:10,249
Hey, listen.
261
00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:11,861
What?
262
00:11:13,347 --> 00:11:14,487
Nothing!
263
00:11:14,957 --> 00:11:17,276
It's not gonna be nothing.
264
00:11:20,401 --> 00:11:21,482
I've been thinking,
265
00:11:21,570 --> 00:11:23,378
and I'm really sorry
I blew off
266
00:11:23,466 --> 00:11:25,207
what you were saying
last night.
267
00:11:30,103 --> 00:11:31,756
Are you apologizing?
268
00:11:31,844 --> 00:11:33,065
Trying.
269
00:11:33,153 --> 00:11:36,464
Can you at least come closer
so I can hear it?
270
00:11:40,587 --> 00:11:42,073
Okay.
271
00:11:43,537 --> 00:11:45,860
You did make a big
sacrifice moving in here
272
00:11:45,948 --> 00:11:47,651
so I could keep this job.
273
00:11:47,739 --> 00:11:49,808
Shutters open, please.
274
00:11:52,175 --> 00:11:54,081
[sighs]
Where was I?
275
00:11:54,387 --> 00:11:56,026
Moving in, keeping job...
276
00:11:56,752 --> 00:11:58,167
Ah.
277
00:11:58,596 --> 00:12:01,511
I want this house to be
as much yours as it is mine.
278
00:12:01,599 --> 00:12:03,565
So how about you go over
to your storage locker
279
00:12:03,653 --> 00:12:05,311
and bring back
whatever would make it
280
00:12:05,399 --> 00:12:07,096
feel more like home to you?
281
00:12:08,289 --> 00:12:10,948
You were gonna say all that
from the other room?
282
00:12:12,255 --> 00:12:15,175
I was gonna text,
but my phone died.
283
00:12:15,721 --> 00:12:16,800
Well, thank you.
284
00:12:16,888 --> 00:12:17,932
You're welcome.
285
00:12:18,020 --> 00:12:20,153
- But... just curious...
- [groans]
286
00:12:22,487 --> 00:12:23,636
Yes?
287
00:12:23,724 --> 00:12:26,901
Where did your uncharacteristic
selflessness come from?
288
00:12:26,989 --> 00:12:27,962
Don't poke at it.
289
00:12:28,050 --> 00:12:29,245
Just go round up your crap
290
00:12:29,333 --> 00:12:32,206
and try to stick it
in places I can't see.
291
00:12:35,839 --> 00:12:36,878
I love you.
292
00:12:36,966 --> 00:12:38,776
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
293
00:12:42,089 --> 00:12:44,399
I used to jump
through hoops
294
00:12:44,487 --> 00:12:46,337
to justify in my mind
295
00:12:46,425 --> 00:12:48,089
why I could
keep drinking.
296
00:12:48,246 --> 00:12:52,076
I thought, "I haven't been drunk
in front of my son,
297
00:12:52,416 --> 00:12:54,323
"I haven't lost my job,
298
00:12:54,550 --> 00:12:56,929
"I haven't wound up in jail,
299
00:12:57,222 --> 00:12:59,128
"so it's not so bad.
300
00:12:59,268 --> 00:13:00,933
I don't need to stop."
301
00:13:01,464 --> 00:13:03,849
What I didn't
realize then
302
00:13:04,042 --> 00:13:06,386
was that I should be adding
"yet"
303
00:13:06,547 --> 00:13:08,604
to the end
of all those sentences.
304
00:13:08,995 --> 00:13:11,719
"I haven't lost my job yet.
305
00:13:11,900 --> 00:13:15,042
I haven't been to jail yet."
306
00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:18,604
[sighs]
I started doing things
307
00:13:18,971 --> 00:13:20,909
that I swore I'd never do.
308
00:13:21,579 --> 00:13:23,136
Things started happening
309
00:13:23,224 --> 00:13:25,966
that I swore would never happen,
310
00:13:26,393 --> 00:13:27,886
because of my drinking.
311
00:13:28,569 --> 00:13:31,149
But instead of changing my ways,
312
00:13:31,237 --> 00:13:33,226
I did what any good alcoholic
would do...
313
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:36,198
I just kept lowering the bar.
314
00:13:36,767 --> 00:13:39,589
Finally,
it couldn't get any lower.
315
00:13:39,906 --> 00:13:42,065
When I got
to these rooms,
316
00:13:42,342 --> 00:13:44,542
my family wouldn't talk to me.
317
00:13:44,846 --> 00:13:46,518
I had no friends.
318
00:13:47,267 --> 00:13:48,714
I had no job.
319
00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:52,042
I was homeless
and living in a box.
320
00:13:52,593 --> 00:13:54,784
And I had roommates.
321
00:13:56,409 --> 00:13:58,032
To the newcomers,
322
00:13:58,737 --> 00:14:01,291
your story may not
look like mine.
323
00:14:01,403 --> 00:14:03,417
But if you're here,
I would venture a guess
324
00:14:03,505 --> 00:14:05,725
that things
probably aren't going so well.
325
00:14:06,268 --> 00:14:07,776
And I want you to know
326
00:14:07,864 --> 00:14:09,779
this program works
327
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:14,636
and your bottom
is whenever you stop digging.
328
00:14:16,273 --> 00:14:18,167
[applause]
329
00:14:21,448 --> 00:14:23,102
Great share,
Marjorie.
330
00:14:23,189 --> 00:14:24,712
Really beautiful.
331
00:14:24,799 --> 00:14:25,946
Generic trail mix?
332
00:14:26,034 --> 00:14:26,917
Where the hell
do you shop?
333
00:14:27,005 --> 00:14:28,571
MAN:
Thanks, Marjorie.
334
00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:29,891
We have time for
one more share.
335
00:14:29,978 --> 00:14:30,706
Who would
like to go?
336
00:14:30,794 --> 00:14:31,948
Would you like to share?
337
00:14:32,036 --> 00:14:33,995
A pint of vodka? Yes.
338
00:14:41,004 --> 00:14:42,479
[sniffling softly]
339
00:14:42,769 --> 00:14:45,815
Are you crying?
340
00:14:47,953 --> 00:14:49,440
Yeah.
341
00:14:49,855 --> 00:14:51,768
Marjorie's share
was really moving.
342
00:14:51,856 --> 00:14:52,859
Yes.
343
00:14:52,947 --> 00:14:54,296
Old lady had a sad tale.
344
00:14:54,506 --> 00:14:56,276
Boo-hoo.
345
00:14:57,503 --> 00:14:59,347
You didn't get
anything out of that?
346
00:14:59,435 --> 00:15:02,440
Only that she desperately needs
a new pantsuit.
347
00:15:05,013 --> 00:15:08,792
I am so sick of you making
a joke out of this program.
348
00:15:09,073 --> 00:15:11,706
That woman in the pantsuit
saved my life.
349
00:15:11,943 --> 00:15:15,860
The "stale cookies" and
"bad coffee" saved my life.
350
00:15:16,323 --> 00:15:17,487
Before AA,
351
00:15:17,575 --> 00:15:20,518
I couldn't imagine getting
through a day without alcohol.
352
00:15:20,677 --> 00:15:22,393
I needed it
to have a conversation,
353
00:15:22,481 --> 00:15:24,657
to open my mail, to live.
354
00:15:24,836 --> 00:15:26,159
It was like air.
355
00:15:26,354 --> 00:15:29,097
[exhales]
And the people in this program
356
00:15:29,342 --> 00:15:31,753
showed me
a new way to breathe.
357
00:15:31,959 --> 00:15:33,743
You are saying
a lot of boring things.
358
00:15:33,831 --> 00:15:35,815
Can this count as a meeting?
359
00:15:36,958 --> 00:15:38,090
Get out.
360
00:15:38,177 --> 00:15:39,214
What?
361
00:15:39,302 --> 00:15:40,550
You don't get to dump on people
362
00:15:40,638 --> 00:15:42,553
who actually want to change
their lives.
363
00:15:42,641 --> 00:15:44,220
You can't leave me here.
364
00:15:44,308 --> 00:15:45,876
We're in front
of a payday loan facility.
365
00:15:45,963 --> 00:15:47,550
- Get out!
- Excuse me,
366
00:15:47,638 --> 00:15:48,639
I am your boss.
367
00:15:48,727 --> 00:15:49,534
No, you're not!
368
00:15:49,622 --> 00:15:52,065
Well, in my head,
I am.
369
00:15:55,803 --> 00:15:58,206
COMMENTATOR: We have
a wild show today...
370
00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:01,357
Isn't today moving day?
371
00:16:01,445 --> 00:16:02,751
Where's all your stuff?
372
00:16:02,839 --> 00:16:03,841
You know, I thought about it.
373
00:16:03,928 --> 00:16:05,089
And change is hard for you,
374
00:16:05,177 --> 00:16:07,009
so I just brought a few things
to ease you in.
375
00:16:07,097 --> 00:16:08,667
That is really sweet.
376
00:16:08,784 --> 00:16:10,034
Ooh!
377
00:16:10,122 --> 00:16:12,753
You brought the espresso maker.
378
00:16:13,214 --> 00:16:17,401
[singsongy]: Tiny cups of coffee
make me feel so fancy.
379
00:16:18,656 --> 00:16:19,565
[both chuckle]
380
00:16:19,653 --> 00:16:20,957
Ooh, and you brought
your art books.
381
00:16:21,044 --> 00:16:23,268
That table
just got 100% smarter.
382
00:16:23,356 --> 00:16:25,698
- That's why I bought 'em.
- [chuckles]
383
00:16:25,786 --> 00:16:27,309
Ooh. Sorry, babe.
384
00:16:27,568 --> 00:16:29,464
This candle's
really tacky.
385
00:16:29,730 --> 00:16:31,159
It's yours.
386
00:16:32,048 --> 00:16:33,354
Oh. That's right.
387
00:16:33,442 --> 00:16:36,176
I sneezed on it at the store,
and they made me buy it.
388
00:16:36,478 --> 00:16:38,425
So, that's it?
That's nothing.
389
00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:40,761
Check out the bedroom.
390
00:16:40,974 --> 00:16:42,058
Oh, my God!
391
00:16:42,146 --> 00:16:43,542
Did you bring
your king-size bed?
392
00:16:43,630 --> 00:16:45,698
I love that bed!
It's almost like you're snoring
393
00:16:45,786 --> 00:16:47,479
in another room!
394
00:16:48,053 --> 00:16:49,229
Aw.
395
00:16:49,488 --> 00:16:50,917
[yelps]
396
00:16:51,846 --> 00:16:53,229
A fish.
397
00:16:53,575 --> 00:16:55,214
Yeah.
398
00:16:56,073 --> 00:16:57,761
Because...?
399
00:16:57,914 --> 00:16:59,597
I found it in my storage.
400
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:02,514
I caught him off the coast
of Cabo with my dad.
401
00:17:02,602 --> 00:17:03,777
With your dad.
402
00:17:03,865 --> 00:17:05,693
It was our last fishing trip
before he died.
403
00:17:05,781 --> 00:17:07,182
Before he died.
404
00:17:09,354 --> 00:17:10,877
I know it may not be your thing,
405
00:17:10,981 --> 00:17:12,045
but you'll get used to it.
406
00:17:12,133 --> 00:17:13,882
I already am.
[chuckles]
407
00:17:14,429 --> 00:17:16,544
You know what, I'm gonna go
make a tiny cup of coffee.
408
00:17:16,632 --> 00:17:18,513
I have a sudden urge
to feel fancy.
409
00:17:18,601 --> 00:17:19,733
[chuckles]
410
00:17:20,235 --> 00:17:21,487
Hey, boy.
411
00:17:21,575 --> 00:17:22,612
Welcome home.
412
00:17:22,652 --> 00:17:24,603
[quietly]:
Son of a bitch.
413
00:17:29,497 --> 00:17:31,586
What the hell?
414
00:17:32,681 --> 00:17:33,907
Paul?
415
00:17:34,298 --> 00:17:36,125
Paul, what's going on?
416
00:17:37,104 --> 00:17:39,087
Did Rudy not show up?
417
00:17:40,774 --> 00:17:43,492
And you tried to run
the kitchen by yourself?
418
00:17:44,988 --> 00:17:48,305
It's okay. I'll go get him,
and you get cooking.
419
00:17:49,474 --> 00:17:50,800
You can do it!
420
00:17:50,888 --> 00:17:53,072
[sighs] And you
don't need this.
421
00:17:53,204 --> 00:17:54,379
Drop it.
422
00:17:54,467 --> 00:17:56,259
Drop it.
423
00:17:57,761 --> 00:17:59,478
Wow, that's wet.
424
00:18:09,415 --> 00:18:11,227
You're not my hooker.
425
00:18:11,576 --> 00:18:12,664
No.
426
00:18:12,804 --> 00:18:15,062
She threw herself off a cliff.
427
00:18:16,016 --> 00:18:17,462
Why aren't you at work?
428
00:18:17,550 --> 00:18:19,596
Because I like to go
to work feeling good.
429
00:18:19,684 --> 00:18:21,904
And so I did what I always do.
430
00:18:21,992 --> 00:18:25,909
I had a very dry vodka martini
with two blue cheese olives.
431
00:18:26,113 --> 00:18:27,854
But I didn't enjoy it,
432
00:18:27,997 --> 00:18:30,167
and so I was forced
to have a second.
433
00:18:30,255 --> 00:18:32,018
And then a third,
434
00:18:32,292 --> 00:18:34,589
waiting for the
happy to arrive.
435
00:18:34,677 --> 00:18:35,983
But it never did.
436
00:18:36,226 --> 00:18:37,542
I hope you're satisfied.
437
00:18:37,630 --> 00:18:39,807
You ruined drinking for me.
438
00:18:40,398 --> 00:18:42,603
Drink, don't drink.
I don't care.
439
00:18:42,705 --> 00:18:44,055
Just go get dressed.
440
00:18:46,039 --> 00:18:47,377
[sighs]
441
00:18:47,656 --> 00:18:48,947
[grunts]
442
00:18:53,273 --> 00:18:55,916
[singsongy]:
I ruined drinking.
443
00:18:56,925 --> 00:18:58,517
♪♪
444
00:19:01,768 --> 00:19:03,371
♪♪
445
00:19:03,466 --> 00:19:05,864
[sultry music playing]
446
00:19:10,108 --> 00:19:12,091
You know,
you could look down here.
447
00:19:12,143 --> 00:19:14,363
If it's watching me,
I'm watching it.
30632
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