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00:00:00,831 --> 00:00:04,487
Previously
on "American Princess"...
2
00:00:04,531 --> 00:00:07,186
We like our peripheral employees
to stay consistent
3
00:00:07,229 --> 00:00:09,405
with proper Elizabethan
as best they can.
4
00:00:09,449 --> 00:00:11,146
Huzzah for the tipper.
5
00:00:11,190 --> 00:00:12,539
We'll work on it.
6
00:00:12,582 --> 00:00:14,280
[ Women shrieking ]Miss you, bitch.
7
00:00:14,323 --> 00:00:17,022
-How's rehab?
-Lexi, she's not in rehab.
8
00:00:17,065 --> 00:00:19,285
That's just what we're saying.It's not Amanda's fault
9
00:00:19,328 --> 00:00:21,983
that that hooker bit off
her own tongue.Erin: It might be.
10
00:00:22,027 --> 00:00:23,724
Helen: [ Lisping ]
I know you think I'm here
to stab you to death,
11
00:00:23,767 --> 00:00:26,074
but the truth is, Amanda,
we're square.
12
00:00:26,118 --> 00:00:27,554
My mom paid you off.
13
00:00:27,597 --> 00:00:30,035
Now I can travel the circuit
in a tour bus.
14
00:00:30,078 --> 00:00:32,385
♪♪
15
00:00:32,428 --> 00:00:34,430
[ Indistinct conversations ]
16
00:00:34,474 --> 00:00:39,174
♪♪
17
00:00:39,218 --> 00:00:40,393
Areola:
Huzzah for the tipper!
18
00:00:40,436 --> 00:00:42,264
-Huzzah!
-Huzzah!
19
00:00:42,308 --> 00:00:45,180
♪ Huzzah for the tipper
20
00:00:45,224 --> 00:00:47,269
It needs work.
[ Sighs ]
21
00:00:47,313 --> 00:00:49,576
[ Dignified British accent ]
Blanchett, Cate Blanchett. No.
22
00:00:49,619 --> 00:00:51,230
[ Rough Cockney accent ]
Cate Blanchett.
23
00:00:51,273 --> 00:00:52,579
Pray thee.
Pray -- Pray thee.
24
00:00:52,622 --> 00:00:54,624
Pray thee.
25
00:00:54,668 --> 00:00:56,626
Pray thee tell.
26
00:00:56,670 --> 00:00:58,324
[ Sighing ] Oh.
27
00:00:58,367 --> 00:01:01,240
Huzzah for the titties.
28
00:01:01,283 --> 00:01:04,330
[ Indistinct conversations ]
29
00:01:04,373 --> 00:01:06,288
-[ Gasps ] Oh!
-Good morrow, dear cuz!
30
00:01:06,332 --> 00:01:09,596
-[ Sighs ]
-Whoo! Oh, whoa. What's that?
31
00:01:09,639 --> 00:01:11,859
This is for Cyril.
32
00:01:11,902 --> 00:01:14,514
Cyril, I made you
a scoby-thingy,
33
00:01:14,557 --> 00:01:16,342
and the kombucha
is turning out great.
34
00:01:16,385 --> 00:01:18,735
I'd like to think it's because
I fermented it in the sun
35
00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:21,434
and not in horse shit.
36
00:01:21,477 --> 00:01:24,263
-Thanks?
-You're welcome.
37
00:01:24,306 --> 00:01:26,134
And this is pineapple juice,
for your cough.
38
00:01:26,178 --> 00:01:28,093
I know it was a little better
last night,
39
00:01:28,136 --> 00:01:30,834
but the natural bromelain in it
will nip it in the bud, I swear.
40
00:01:30,878 --> 00:01:33,924
You've totally embraced
the spirit of faire-mily!
41
00:01:33,968 --> 00:01:35,839
But I don't have a cough.
42
00:01:35,883 --> 00:01:37,537
Yes, you do.
43
00:01:37,580 --> 00:01:39,234
You were up the last two nights.[ Boy coughs ]
44
00:01:39,278 --> 00:01:40,366
That was Lil Boy.
45
00:01:40,409 --> 00:01:42,107
Wh-What?
46
00:01:42,150 --> 00:01:44,326
This little boy slept
in our room last night?
47
00:01:44,370 --> 00:01:46,154
-Where else would he sleep?
-With his parents?
48
00:01:46,198 --> 00:01:48,548
[ Laughing ]
I'm his parents!
49
00:01:48,591 --> 00:01:50,376
-You have a kid?
-You knew about him.
50
00:01:50,419 --> 00:01:52,769
I really truly
very much did not.
51
00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:54,989
Really?
52
00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:56,686
Well, this is Lil Boy.
53
00:01:56,730 --> 00:01:58,384
Yes, I can see
that he's a little boy.
54
00:01:58,427 --> 00:02:00,560
No, that's his name.
Lil Boy.
55
00:02:00,603 --> 00:02:02,083
Until he's old enough
to choose his own name.
56
00:02:02,127 --> 00:02:04,041
-Fartbox!
-Okay, not old enough yet.
57
00:02:04,085 --> 00:02:05,304
Why don't you check the fridge
for Mommy?
58
00:02:05,347 --> 00:02:08,437
This isn't quite cold enough.
59
00:02:08,481 --> 00:02:10,570
He's been sleeping in our room
this whole time?
60
00:02:10,613 --> 00:02:13,050
Sometimes. Lulu home-schools
the faire brats,
61
00:02:13,094 --> 00:02:14,487
so a lot of times,
he crashes with her kids.
62
00:02:14,530 --> 00:02:16,445
Wait, hive parenting.
63
00:02:16,489 --> 00:02:18,447
I read about this
in Vanity Fair,I think.
64
00:02:18,491 --> 00:02:20,188
Or a Buzzfeed listicle.
65
00:02:20,232 --> 00:02:22,582
Lil Boy: One of the gasket
retainer screws is loose.
66
00:02:22,625 --> 00:02:26,281
I need Lee's
Allen wrench.
67
00:02:26,325 --> 00:02:28,936
-Okay.
-He does seem skilled.
68
00:02:28,979 --> 00:02:30,372
Certainly better
here with me
69
00:02:30,416 --> 00:02:32,287
than back home
with my crazy parents.
70
00:02:32,331 --> 00:02:34,463
Your parents are strict,
too, huh?
71
00:02:34,507 --> 00:02:37,249
My mom made me
take French andMandarin.
72
00:02:37,292 --> 00:02:40,382
Mercifor nothing,
Chairman Mao.
73
00:02:40,426 --> 00:02:42,210
Evangelical Christians.
74
00:02:42,254 --> 00:02:43,864
I wasn't even allowed to read
"The Giving Tree"
75
00:02:43,907 --> 00:02:46,606
when I was a kid, because
"If it can give you an apple,
76
00:02:46,649 --> 00:02:48,651
it can touch you
in your bathing suit area."
77
00:02:48,695 --> 00:02:52,089
Wow. Yeah, this is a much better
place for him. And you.
78
00:02:52,133 --> 00:02:54,570
And all of us!
79
00:02:54,614 --> 00:02:58,574
-Boobs look great.
-Thanks, babe.
80
00:02:58,618 --> 00:03:00,446
It'll hold like this
for a bit,
81
00:03:00,489 --> 00:03:02,535
but the gasket
needs to be replaced.
82
00:03:02,578 --> 00:03:04,972
Will do.
Thanks, kiddo.
83
00:03:05,015 --> 00:03:07,496
All right.
Three Wet-Naps, two matchbooks,
84
00:03:07,540 --> 00:03:09,237
and some toothpicks.
85
00:03:09,281 --> 00:03:11,108
Pleasure doing business
with you.
86
00:03:11,152 --> 00:03:14,416
-You, too, Fartbox.
-Unh-unh. Not Fartbox.
87
00:03:14,460 --> 00:03:17,593
Good advice, man. Adding more
plant-based proteins to my diet.
88
00:03:17,637 --> 00:03:19,726
And I'll keep in mind
the spirit of the turkey.
89
00:03:19,769 --> 00:03:21,771
[ Both laugh ]
90
00:03:21,815 --> 00:03:24,687
You coming around, baby.
91
00:03:24,731 --> 00:03:28,169
Ah. The showers
are all taken?
92
00:03:28,213 --> 00:03:29,866
[ Water running ]
93
00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:31,955
Yep.
94
00:03:31,999 --> 00:03:33,479
Hey!
95
00:03:33,522 --> 00:03:36,351
Same body wash.
96
00:03:36,395 --> 00:03:37,744
Got to love
that Mountain Mist.
97
00:03:37,787 --> 00:03:40,877
Great minds.
98
00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:42,966
Then again, we do differ
in our choices
99
00:03:43,010 --> 00:03:45,926
of toothpaste flavor.
100
00:03:45,969 --> 00:03:48,755
What kind of person
uses wintergreen?
101
00:03:48,798 --> 00:03:51,148
[ Chuckles ]
102
00:03:51,192 --> 00:03:52,846
What can I say?
I'm a wintergreen guy.
103
00:03:52,889 --> 00:03:56,632
Well, I also heard
that wintergreen
104
00:03:56,676 --> 00:03:59,896
was the flavor...
105
00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:01,333
used by Hitler.
106
00:04:01,376 --> 00:04:03,770
♪♪
107
00:04:03,813 --> 00:04:05,467
[ Clears throat ]
108
00:04:05,511 --> 00:04:11,081
♪♪
109
00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:13,301
[ Muttering indistinctly ]
110
00:04:13,345 --> 00:04:15,303
[ Ethereal new-age
music playing ]
111
00:04:15,347 --> 00:04:16,522
Good morrow,
Your Majesty.
112
00:04:16,565 --> 00:04:18,175
You're late.
113
00:04:18,219 --> 00:04:19,612
You missed
the Stanislavski warm-up.
114
00:04:19,655 --> 00:04:20,743
Jumping right into mirror.
115
00:04:20,787 --> 00:04:22,354
Thank you, mirror.
116
00:04:22,397 --> 00:04:24,834
♪♪
117
00:04:24,878 --> 00:04:27,446
Apologies for being late,
but I just had
118
00:04:27,489 --> 00:04:31,058
a rather
awkward incident.
119
00:04:31,101 --> 00:04:34,017
I ran into Juan Andrés,
you know,
120
00:04:34,061 --> 00:04:38,326
the man I sort of like,
121
00:04:38,370 --> 00:04:40,502
in the restroom.
122
00:04:40,546 --> 00:04:42,635
We were in line for the showers.
123
00:04:42,678 --> 00:04:45,202
I, you know, thought
I'd strike up a conversation,
124
00:04:45,246 --> 00:04:48,336
but it went poorly.
125
00:04:48,380 --> 00:04:52,079
Five, six, seven, eight.
126
00:04:52,122 --> 00:04:54,908
I made a very bad joke...
about Hitler.
127
00:04:54,951 --> 00:04:55,735
-Zip.
-Zap.
128
00:04:55,778 --> 00:04:56,562
-Zop.
-Zip.
129
00:04:56,605 --> 00:04:58,303
-Zap.
-Zop.
130
00:04:58,346 --> 00:05:00,653
I'm sure it was fine.
131
00:05:00,696 --> 00:05:03,351
And lift.
132
00:05:03,395 --> 00:05:05,484
-And scene.
-And scene.
133
00:05:05,527 --> 00:05:07,399
♪♪
134
00:05:07,442 --> 00:05:10,184
How do I show him
that I like him?
135
00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:11,446
Invite him over
for a Hefeweizen
136
00:05:11,490 --> 00:05:13,013
and a light chapter
of "Mein Kampf."
137
00:05:13,056 --> 00:05:14,797
[ Chuckles ]
138
00:05:14,841 --> 00:05:16,408
Really, Maggie,
I need your help.
139
00:05:16,451 --> 00:05:18,627
Oh, good God,
you're obsessed.
140
00:05:18,671 --> 00:05:20,542
What's his profession?
Janitor?
141
00:05:20,586 --> 00:05:23,197
He sells handmade wares.
142
00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,286
Then show an interest
in his art or something.
143
00:05:25,330 --> 00:05:27,027
What time is it, anyway?
144
00:05:27,070 --> 00:05:29,203
I need to Nair my widow's peak
before breakfast.
145
00:05:29,246 --> 00:05:31,292
I'm starting to look like
Count Chocula.
146
00:05:31,336 --> 00:05:33,076
[ Indistinct conversations ]
147
00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:34,774
All right, everybody, listen up.
148
00:05:34,817 --> 00:05:36,732
We got a couple things
on the agenda.
149
00:05:36,776 --> 00:05:39,866
There will be no more
25% employee discount
150
00:05:39,909 --> 00:05:42,259
on meals purchased on
the grounds during Faire Days.What?
151
00:05:42,303 --> 00:05:43,913
Lee!
What?
Boo.
152
00:05:43,957 --> 00:05:45,524
Ticket sales dropped
opening weekend.
153
00:05:45,567 --> 00:05:47,003
We got to pick up the slack.
154
00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:48,614
So eat less,
and it won't affect you.
155
00:05:48,657 --> 00:05:50,398
I can survive on a cup
of raw spinach a day.
156
00:05:50,442 --> 00:05:53,227
Okay, moving on.
Uh, the Queen's Royal Tea
157
00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:56,273
will now become
the Queen's Royal Pub Crawl.
158
00:05:56,317 --> 00:05:58,885
Woman: Oh!Profit margins
are higher with booze.
159
00:05:58,928 --> 00:06:02,279
And, uh, Callie, no more
nip slips at the joust.
160
00:06:02,323 --> 00:06:04,499
We had some complaints
from the parents.
161
00:06:04,543 --> 00:06:06,545
Actually, no, just the moms.
The dads were fine with it.
162
00:06:06,588 --> 00:06:08,285
Free the nipple!
163
00:06:08,329 --> 00:06:09,591
[ Cheers and applause ]
164
00:06:09,635 --> 00:06:11,985
Nips!
165
00:06:12,028 --> 00:06:14,117
No more moms!
166
00:06:14,161 --> 00:06:15,815
All right, let's take
this energy outside
167
00:06:15,858 --> 00:06:17,904
and show these people
what the faire is about.
168
00:06:17,947 --> 00:06:19,993
Now, how about three cheers
for the faire?
169
00:06:20,036 --> 00:06:21,690
-Hip hip...
-Huzzah.
170
00:06:21,734 --> 00:06:23,866
-Hip hip...
-Huzzah.
171
00:06:23,910 --> 00:06:27,000
-Hip hip...
-Huzzah!
172
00:06:27,043 --> 00:06:29,785
Come on, guys!
Let's do it!
173
00:06:29,829 --> 00:06:31,570
-Come on, come on, get up.
-Yeah!
174
00:06:31,613 --> 00:06:33,485
-All right, everybody.
-Let's go, freaks!
175
00:06:33,528 --> 00:06:35,182
Man:
All right, everybody,
176
00:06:35,225 --> 00:06:37,706
let's go out there
and make some money!
177
00:06:37,750 --> 00:06:39,882
-[ Clears throat ]
-Oh, God.
178
00:06:39,926 --> 00:06:42,624
-Yes, Maggie?
-The Queen's Tea is a tradition.
179
00:06:42,668 --> 00:06:44,800
I've led it every Faire Day
here since taking on
180
00:06:44,844 --> 00:06:46,236
-the role of Elizabeth.
-Uh-huh.
181
00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:48,935
The little girls sit
and converse with the Queen.
182
00:06:48,978 --> 00:06:51,459
It is vital to show them
how upper-class women behave.
183
00:06:51,503 --> 00:06:54,810
I'm sorry, but we got to pick up
cash wherever we can find it.
184
00:06:54,854 --> 00:06:57,030
I will not besmirch the legacy
of the great Queen
185
00:06:57,073 --> 00:06:59,511
simply to put a couple
of extra shekels in your pocket.
186
00:06:59,554 --> 00:07:03,471
I figured you'd say that,
so I am prepared.
187
00:07:03,515 --> 00:07:04,994
"It is said
that Elizabeth I
188
00:07:05,038 --> 00:07:08,041
drank at least two pints
of ale every day.
189
00:07:08,084 --> 00:07:10,652
In 1593, the royal household
went through
190
00:07:10,696 --> 00:07:13,568
approximately
600,000 gallons of ale,"
191
00:07:13,612 --> 00:07:14,743
signed the Internet.
192
00:07:14,787 --> 00:07:16,441
The Queen drank beer, yes,
193
00:07:16,484 --> 00:07:18,704
but in the refined company
of her ladies-in-waiting.
194
00:07:18,747 --> 00:07:20,967
She never rubbed elbows
with drunken bachelor parties,
195
00:07:21,010 --> 00:07:24,231
nor hairy men
in ironic t-shirts.
196
00:07:24,274 --> 00:07:25,928
Your ladies-in-waiting
will be there with you,
197
00:07:25,972 --> 00:07:29,149
so it will be completely
historically accurate.
198
00:07:29,192 --> 00:07:31,804
Just think of it like
a royal girls' night out.
199
00:07:31,847 --> 00:07:33,283
I don't believe
in girlfriends.
200
00:07:33,327 --> 00:07:35,721
Bitches be haters.
201
00:07:35,764 --> 00:07:37,679
All done?
202
00:07:37,723 --> 00:07:40,856
Why, thank thee, fine sir.
203
00:07:40,900 --> 00:07:44,512
Woman: I should get
a dress like that, right?
204
00:07:44,556 --> 00:07:46,775
Your pitcher, m'lords.
205
00:07:46,819 --> 00:07:48,734
Thank you, m'lady.
A tip for you.
206
00:07:48,777 --> 00:07:50,257
Just the tip?
207
00:07:50,300 --> 00:07:51,998
Frankly, sir,
I'd prefer the whole hog.
208
00:07:52,041 --> 00:07:54,479
-[ Laughs ]
-Oh!
209
00:07:54,522 --> 00:07:56,655
-Hey, Amanda.
-No more free beer, Friar.
210
00:07:56,698 --> 00:07:59,048
-Lee would have my head.
-I'm not here for the booze.
211
00:07:59,092 --> 00:08:01,050
Ophelia, the empty kegs
got to move.
212
00:08:01,094 --> 00:08:03,357
On it. Friar!
213
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,185
-Listen, can you do me a favor?
-Is it sexual?
214
00:08:05,228 --> 00:08:07,361
Because geriatric alcoholics
aren't really my type.
215
00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:09,406
No, no, no, what? Listen,
Natasha usually does my show
216
00:08:09,450 --> 00:08:11,626
at 4:00, but she -- she got
a ribbon burn on the May pole,
217
00:08:11,670 --> 00:08:13,367
and now she needs
to ice her palms.
218
00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:15,238
-So can you fill in?
-Okay, okay, fine, I'll do it.
219
00:08:15,282 --> 00:08:16,849
-Oh, thank you. Thank you.
-If you move, please.
220
00:08:16,892 --> 00:08:18,111
All right. Thanks.
221
00:08:19,895 --> 00:08:22,507
Oh, nice muscles.
222
00:08:22,550 --> 00:08:25,771
Duh. I'm in wedding shape,
which is scientifically proven
223
00:08:25,814 --> 00:08:28,251
to be the hottest moment
of any woman's life.
224
00:08:28,295 --> 00:08:31,864
SoulCycle and kettle bells.
Plus, I cut out grains.
225
00:08:31,907 --> 00:08:33,474
Such a city lady.
226
00:08:33,518 --> 00:08:35,215
-Hey!
-Uh, you are.
227
00:08:35,258 --> 00:08:37,957
It's okay, but you are.
228
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,915
Hmm. Well, could a city lady
do this?
229
00:08:39,959 --> 00:08:43,092
I can smell your French disease
from here.
230
00:08:43,136 --> 00:08:44,746
Back across the channel
with you, pagans!
231
00:08:44,790 --> 00:08:47,575
Hey! Oh, fie, Puritan!
232
00:08:47,619 --> 00:08:50,839
Go jack your beanstalk
onto a communion wafer.
233
00:08:50,883 --> 00:08:53,146
-[ Chuckles ]
-It'll release some frustration.
234
00:08:57,150 --> 00:08:59,718
You know, the high fives were
a little bit anachronistic,
235
00:08:59,761 --> 00:09:01,197
but, I mean,
you're getting there.
236
00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:03,983
You'll blend in,
eventually.
237
00:09:04,026 --> 00:09:06,333
I'm blending in
just fine.
238
00:09:06,376 --> 00:09:10,598
♪♪
239
00:09:10,642 --> 00:09:12,948
All done? Aye.
240
00:09:12,992 --> 00:09:16,256
Patrons, pay attention,
for this man has given me
241
00:09:16,299 --> 00:09:19,302
what every woman desires --
multiples!
242
00:09:19,346 --> 00:09:20,695
[ Laughter ]
243
00:09:20,739 --> 00:09:22,436
Huzzah for the tipper!
244
00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:24,090
-Huzzah!
-Huzzah!
245
00:09:24,133 --> 00:09:27,136
[ Laughter fades ]
246
00:09:27,180 --> 00:09:29,748
♪ Yo, clock in
when the mood strikes ♪
247
00:09:29,791 --> 00:09:32,751
♪ I do what a boss likes,
slowpokes, they look twice ♪
248
00:09:32,794 --> 00:09:35,405
♪ Cold...I'm a Klondike...boys
get curved tough ♪
249
00:09:35,449 --> 00:09:37,103
No. Way.
♪ When a girl gang,
gang roll up ♪
250
00:09:37,146 --> 00:09:38,495
♪ Make a beeline
for the green room ♪
251
00:09:38,539 --> 00:09:40,280
♪ I get money to show up
252
00:09:40,323 --> 00:09:41,629
♪ Break, break, break, break
253
00:09:41,673 --> 00:09:44,414
Ugh.
254
00:09:44,458 --> 00:09:45,677
-Ew.
-Ew.
255
00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:46,808
Ew.
256
00:09:49,028 --> 00:09:50,377
Oh, my God.
257
00:09:50,420 --> 00:09:54,686
Hi!Hi!
Hi!Hi!
258
00:09:54,729 --> 00:09:56,557
Wow.You guys!
This.
259
00:09:56,601 --> 00:09:57,776
What are you doing here?
260
00:09:57,819 --> 00:09:59,342
We came
to check on you, babe.
261
00:09:59,386 --> 00:10:00,996
Nick: I mean, did you think
we forgot about you?
262
00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:02,432
Oh, kind of.
263
00:10:02,476 --> 00:10:04,478
-No.
-You guys!
264
00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:05,827
Uh, c-come sit down?
265
00:10:05,871 --> 00:10:07,394
-Yeah. Let's go.
-Okay.
266
00:10:10,832 --> 00:10:13,530
[ Indistinct conversations ]
267
00:10:13,574 --> 00:10:16,055
Two secs, you guys.
I am dying to catch up.
268
00:10:16,098 --> 00:10:19,275
Yeah. Okay. What in the dorky
hell has gotten into her?
269
00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:20,973
It's like she's been kidnapped
by those drum circle
270
00:10:21,016 --> 00:10:22,322
mole people
in Union Square.
271
00:10:22,365 --> 00:10:24,106
-Uh-huh.
-Those titties, though.
272
00:10:24,150 --> 00:10:26,282
Yes, girl,
those titties.
273
00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:28,371
Lexi, can you actually
stop calling me "girl"?
274
00:10:28,415 --> 00:10:29,938
It's starting
to feel minimizing.
275
00:10:29,982 --> 00:10:31,636
Oh, my God. I would never,
ever want you to feel that.
276
00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:33,855
-I'm so sorry.
-It's okay. It's okay.
277
00:10:33,899 --> 00:10:35,248
I'm mean,
I'm just really grateful
278
00:10:35,291 --> 00:10:37,163
that I could share
my truth with you.
279
00:10:37,206 --> 00:10:39,905
-Love you, bitch.
-Love you, too, bitch. Mwah.
280
00:10:39,948 --> 00:10:42,429
-Sangria. On me.
-Ooh. Thanks, sweetie.
281
00:10:42,472 --> 00:10:43,822
So, is this, like,
your jobjob, or...?
282
00:10:43,865 --> 00:10:45,475
I mean, it's part of it.
283
00:10:45,519 --> 00:10:47,260
Basically, we're all
sort of performers
284
00:10:47,303 --> 00:10:49,175
in a larger production.
285
00:10:49,218 --> 00:10:52,091
We all live communally,
so it's kind of like a kibbutz.
286
00:10:52,134 --> 00:10:53,440
It seems more like
Rajneeshpuram.
287
00:10:53,483 --> 00:10:54,615
-Yeah.
-Ma Anand Sheela
288
00:10:54,659 --> 00:10:56,182
-is a feminist icon.
-Tea.
289
00:10:56,225 --> 00:10:57,226
-Cheers.
-Cheers.
290
00:10:57,270 --> 00:10:58,227
-Yes!
-Cheers.
291
00:10:58,271 --> 00:10:59,620
Oh, no.
292
00:10:59,664 --> 00:11:01,448
So, what's news
with you guys?
293
00:11:01,491 --> 00:11:03,232
Um, well,
Nick hit 10k on Instagram.
294
00:11:03,276 --> 00:11:05,974
And Rachel Zoe
retweeted me.
295
00:11:06,018 --> 00:11:08,194
Yeah, and Lexi's
on a new antidepressant.Yay!
296
00:11:08,237 --> 00:11:10,326
So, and then, with me, you know,
work is work, same thing.
297
00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:12,372
80 hours a week, Postmates for
every meal,
298
00:11:12,415 --> 00:11:14,461
totally worth it.
299
00:11:14,504 --> 00:11:16,855
-That's amazing, you guys.
-Yeah.
300
00:11:16,898 --> 00:11:18,683
God, you look so cute,
by the way, Amanda.
301
00:11:18,726 --> 00:11:21,424
I mean, you are really serving,
like, pure Coachella realness.
302
00:11:21,468 --> 00:11:22,556
-Yeah, you do.
-Honestly, you guys,
303
00:11:22,599 --> 00:11:24,993
I feel amazing.
304
00:11:25,037 --> 00:11:27,996
♪♪
305
00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:29,606
Wow.
[ Chuckles ]
306
00:11:29,650 --> 00:11:32,305
It's just such a shock
seeing you here.
307
00:11:32,348 --> 00:11:34,481
Faire virgins. I hope your first
time doesn't hurt too much.
308
00:11:34,524 --> 00:11:36,048
Hon, look,
we're not here to judge.
309
00:11:36,091 --> 00:11:37,353
I mean, with everything
you've been through,
310
00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:38,354
it makes sense
that you would run off
311
00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:40,487
and do something...different,
312
00:11:40,530 --> 00:11:42,054
um, as you recover
from the stress.
313
00:11:42,097 --> 00:11:43,795
-And humiliation.
-Yeah.
314
00:11:43,838 --> 00:11:45,057
Lexi:
And we're also here to check
315
00:11:45,100 --> 00:11:46,798
that you aren't
totally mentally ill.
316
00:11:46,841 --> 00:11:48,408
Lexi, that was car talk.
317
00:11:48,451 --> 00:11:50,366
-We told you.
-Like four times.
318
00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:52,455
[ Laughs ]
Sorry. It's the new meds.
319
00:11:52,499 --> 00:11:55,067
Oh, my God.
320
00:11:55,110 --> 00:11:58,592
Tankards and flagons
and jugs for sale.
321
00:11:58,635 --> 00:12:01,377
You won't find a better
pair of jugs, milady.
322
00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:03,031
And make sure
you tell your friends.
323
00:12:03,075 --> 00:12:04,554
Fill it to the top with mead,
324
00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:07,688
and you'll need
a carriage ride home!
325
00:12:07,732 --> 00:12:09,777
Well met, Juan Andrés.
326
00:12:09,821 --> 00:12:12,911
Uh, hi.
327
00:12:12,954 --> 00:12:14,869
Come, get your flagons!
328
00:12:14,913 --> 00:12:18,351
My, what beautiful wares.
329
00:12:18,394 --> 00:12:21,789
What are these made of?
330
00:12:21,833 --> 00:12:23,095
Cow horns.
331
00:12:23,138 --> 00:12:25,924
Makes sense.
Aah.
332
00:12:25,967 --> 00:12:27,752
Flagons, tankards, milady.
333
00:12:27,795 --> 00:12:30,276
Oh!
And pray tell,
334
00:12:30,319 --> 00:12:33,192
what about
this, uh, gorgeous
335
00:12:33,235 --> 00:12:36,804
suede-like canteen?
336
00:12:36,848 --> 00:12:38,545
Suede.
337
00:12:38,588 --> 00:12:40,155
Suede?
338
00:12:40,199 --> 00:12:42,244
Suede.
339
00:12:42,288 --> 00:12:43,942
-Milady.
-Milord.
340
00:12:43,985 --> 00:12:47,249
Tankards and flagons
and jugs for sale!
341
00:12:47,293 --> 00:12:51,253
Oh, this --
Now, this is so lovely.
342
00:12:51,297 --> 00:12:54,256
I can imagine pouring myself
a Montepulciano
343
00:12:54,300 --> 00:12:57,738
or some other Old World red
in one of these.
344
00:12:57,782 --> 00:13:00,567
Are you, mayhaps,
also a wine-drink--
345
00:13:00,610 --> 00:13:02,003
[ Ceramic shatters ]Oh.
346
00:13:02,047 --> 00:13:04,005
Oh, fie.
347
00:13:04,049 --> 00:13:05,833
I-I-I am so sorry.
348
00:13:05,877 --> 00:13:07,530
I-I will pay
for all of these.
349
00:13:07,574 --> 00:13:09,358
It's okay.
I make these myself,
350
00:13:09,402 --> 00:13:12,884
so it's just lost time.
351
00:13:12,927 --> 00:13:15,800
You make all these
ceramic mugs yourself?
352
00:13:15,843 --> 00:13:18,063
Out of...
353
00:13:18,106 --> 00:13:20,456
Clay.
354
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:22,763
Clay.
355
00:13:22,807 --> 00:13:27,072
Welcome, my countrymen,
to the Queen's...Pub Crawl.
356
00:13:27,115 --> 00:13:29,639
As you toast the monarchy,
you may approach
357
00:13:29,683 --> 00:13:31,685
and ask any questions you'd like
358
00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:35,123
about our daily lives
in the court.
359
00:13:35,167 --> 00:13:37,691
Is it true you guys, like,
never took showers?
360
00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:39,824
Did the Queen have to poop
in a bucket?[ Laughter ]
361
00:13:39,867 --> 00:13:41,303
Please, let us keep
the questions
362
00:13:41,347 --> 00:13:43,436
related to
our courtly life.
363
00:13:43,479 --> 00:13:46,569
For instance, can you guess
how many ladies-in-waiting
364
00:13:46,613 --> 00:13:49,529
I did host
in my time as queen?
365
00:13:49,572 --> 00:13:51,313
-69!
-69!
366
00:13:51,357 --> 00:13:54,099
[ Laughter ]
367
00:13:54,142 --> 00:13:56,362
Ah, hear ye, hear ye.
368
00:13:56,405 --> 00:13:59,756
Uh, the Queen commands that
whomever can consume their beer
369
00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:02,629
with the most haste
shall be made lady-in-waiting
370
00:14:02,672 --> 00:14:03,804
-for the day.
-Wow.
371
00:14:03,848 --> 00:14:05,284
And you can be a guy.
372
00:14:05,327 --> 00:14:07,634
Or however you may identify.
373
00:14:07,677 --> 00:14:09,941
[ Cheers and applause ]
374
00:14:09,984 --> 00:14:13,161
Yes, what a civilized idea.
375
00:14:13,205 --> 00:14:15,468
On my count, drink.
376
00:14:15,511 --> 00:14:17,949
One, two, three.
377
00:14:21,604 --> 00:14:23,737
-Yeah!
-Yes!
378
00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:25,695
-Oh!
-Whoo-hoo!
379
00:14:25,739 --> 00:14:28,568
I suppose I must declare a tie
380
00:14:28,611 --> 00:14:31,701
between these two, um,
spirited wenches.
381
00:14:31,745 --> 00:14:34,400
-Um, please, join my court.
-Yes!
382
00:14:34,443 --> 00:14:36,271
-Sweet!
-And as our first duty
383
00:14:36,315 --> 00:14:39,013
on the Queen's court,
we're doing shots.
384
00:14:39,057 --> 00:14:40,275
[ Cheers and applause ]
385
00:14:40,319 --> 00:14:41,494
No, no, no, I shan't.
386
00:14:41,537 --> 00:14:43,278
Chug it, your horniness.
387
00:14:43,322 --> 00:14:44,758
-Chug it, your horniness.
-Chug it, your horniness.
388
00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:46,368
All: [ Chanting ]
Chug it, your horniness.
389
00:14:46,412 --> 00:14:49,415
The Queen drank.
And shots cost extra.
390
00:14:49,458 --> 00:14:51,243
Come on.
What would Daniel Day-Lewis do?
391
00:14:51,286 --> 00:14:52,940
He'd retire.
392
00:14:52,984 --> 00:14:54,550
-Chug it, your horniness!
-Chug it, your horniness!
393
00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:56,378
Chug it, your horniness!Chug it, your horniness!
394
00:14:56,422 --> 00:14:58,903
[ Cheers and applause ]
395
00:14:58,946 --> 00:15:02,994
♪♪
396
00:15:09,435 --> 00:15:10,915
O0 C1Nick: I feel like this is
my new summer drink.What is this?ome more.
397
00:15:10,958 --> 00:15:12,438
Lexi: Morgan.It's honestly, like, disgusting.
398
00:15:12,481 --> 00:15:15,354
-Oh, my God.
-It's di-- Uh --
399
00:15:15,397 --> 00:15:16,485
Oh, my God.
400
00:15:16,529 --> 00:15:18,618
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
401
00:15:18,661 --> 00:15:20,794
Okay, who are those
shiny people?
402
00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:22,535
They're my friends
from home.
403
00:15:22,578 --> 00:15:24,798
Oh, my gosh! Fun! I'll go
spray 'em with bubble water.
404
00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:26,104
No!
405
00:15:26,147 --> 00:15:28,323
They're not
those kind of people.
406
00:15:28,367 --> 00:15:30,630
-I'm actually really nervous?
-How come?
407
00:15:30,673 --> 00:15:32,588
It's the whole
mixing-worlds thing.
408
00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:34,242
You know when you introduce
your yoga friends
409
00:15:34,286 --> 00:15:35,417
to your Pilates friends,
410
00:15:35,461 --> 00:15:37,985
and the vibe
is just super different?
411
00:15:38,029 --> 00:15:40,857
[ Sighs ]
412
00:15:40,901 --> 00:15:42,511
I need
for them to like it.
413
00:15:42,555 --> 00:15:45,471
Oh, they're like you were
three weeks ago --
414
00:15:45,514 --> 00:15:49,083
a newborn baby possum,
blind and small-headed.
415
00:15:49,127 --> 00:15:51,825
But then you grew up to be
a warm, smushy,
416
00:15:51,868 --> 00:15:54,480
sighted
woodland creature.
417
00:15:54,523 --> 00:15:55,960
This pertains how?
418
00:15:56,003 --> 00:15:57,787
Show them the faire
through your eyes.
419
00:15:57,831 --> 00:15:59,006
Then they'll be sold.
420
00:15:59,050 --> 00:16:00,703
I vote more alcohol.
421
00:16:00,747 --> 00:16:02,618
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Good idea.
422
00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:05,099
Yeah.
423
00:16:05,143 --> 00:16:08,189
I feel like we've been here
for 500 hours.
424
00:16:08,233 --> 00:16:09,625
-More sangria?
-[ Gasps ] Yes, please.
425
00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:11,410
-Yes, Mom.
-Fun, right?
426
00:16:11,453 --> 00:16:13,760
I mean, yeah, if by "fun,"
you mean super offensive.
427
00:16:13,803 --> 00:16:15,327
-Thank you.
-What is with all
428
00:16:15,370 --> 00:16:17,503
the horny nerd humor?
It's like, I feel like
429
00:16:17,546 --> 00:16:19,070
the only girl in, like,
a Fortnite chat room.
430
00:16:19,113 --> 00:16:20,941
Oh, come on. It's 1585.
431
00:16:20,985 --> 00:16:22,247
Things were different
back then.
432
00:16:22,290 --> 00:16:23,813
Um, well,
but it's not back then.
433
00:16:23,857 --> 00:16:25,859
It's now pretending
to be back then.
434
00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:28,557
Actually, it's a super
empowering place for women.
435
00:16:28,601 --> 00:16:31,386
It's super inclusive and
non-judgey and body positive.
436
00:16:31,430 --> 00:16:33,823
-Like the Trevor Project.
-No.
437
00:16:33,867 --> 00:16:36,217
Fine wenches,
438
00:16:36,261 --> 00:16:39,046
you all look delicious.
439
00:16:39,090 --> 00:16:42,049
I wish I could give each of you
a long, steady ride
440
00:16:42,093 --> 00:16:44,312
on my horse.
441
00:16:44,356 --> 00:16:46,749
-A rose, milady?
-From you? God, no.
442
00:16:46,793 --> 00:16:48,882
I'd literally rather get a rose
from Arie Luyendyk --
443
00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:51,667
All: The most hated Bachelor
of all time.
444
00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:54,540
[ Lively folk music playing
in distance ]
445
00:16:54,583 --> 00:16:56,846
-But you should take --
-I'll take a flower, sir.
446
00:16:56,890 --> 00:17:02,287
♪♪
447
00:17:02,330 --> 00:17:04,158
[ All gasp ]
448
00:17:04,202 --> 00:17:05,681
Oh!
449
00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:08,075
[ All muttering indistinctly ]
450
00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:10,425
♪♪
451
00:17:10,469 --> 00:17:12,645
[ All gasp ]
452
00:17:12,688 --> 00:17:14,908
Morgan: Ugh.
453
00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:17,954
Meet me at the joust
at 2:00 and 30.
454
00:17:17,998 --> 00:17:19,869
I'll ride for thine honor.
455
00:17:19,913 --> 00:17:21,306
[ Music stops,
applause in distance ]
456
00:17:21,349 --> 00:17:22,698
[ Nick whispers indistinctly ]
457
00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:25,136
Lexi:
It's so hot. [ Sighs ]
458
00:17:25,179 --> 00:17:27,225
Lexi, what just
happened to me?
459
00:17:27,268 --> 00:17:29,705
Amanda, you were
just assaulted.
460
00:17:29,749 --> 00:17:30,793
Totally.
461
00:17:30,837 --> 00:17:32,360
I feel triggered.
462
00:17:32,404 --> 00:17:34,406
I'm fine.
Like I said,
463
00:17:34,449 --> 00:17:36,408
things are different here.
464
00:17:36,451 --> 00:17:38,932
There's a familiar vibe
between performers.
465
00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:41,108
He just made out with your neck.
Do you even know him?
466
00:17:41,152 --> 00:17:43,110
Yeah, I've seen him around.
He's like a jouster.
467
00:17:43,154 --> 00:17:45,243
Like from "A Knight's Tale"?
Heath Ledger
468
00:17:45,286 --> 00:17:46,635
-was my sexual awakening.
-Oh, my God.
469
00:17:46,679 --> 00:17:48,376
-Oh, my God. Me, too.
-Hashtag "MeToo."
470
00:17:48,420 --> 00:17:49,725
Stop it!
That is not a joke!
471
00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:51,771
Ow.
[ Snickering ]
472
00:17:51,814 --> 00:17:54,426
Amanda, this is
your workplace, okay?
473
00:17:54,469 --> 00:17:56,036
You need to stand up
for consent.
474
00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:58,430
Okay, okay, fine,
but can we just take a beat
475
00:17:58,473 --> 00:18:00,388
and appreciate this faire?
476
00:18:00,432 --> 00:18:03,783
It's super fun, I swear.
477
00:18:03,826 --> 00:18:05,263
Hmm.
478
00:18:05,306 --> 00:18:06,699
[ Singsong voice ]
There's shopping!
479
00:18:06,742 --> 00:18:08,744
-[ Gasps ] Yes!
-Okay. Grab my drink.
480
00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:10,224
Okay, can you put it up?
481
00:18:10,268 --> 00:18:11,573
-Like here?
-'Cause that's not a good angle.
482
00:18:11,617 --> 00:18:12,574
-Yeah.
-Like that?
483
00:18:12,618 --> 00:18:14,054
Woman: Huzzah!
484
00:18:14,098 --> 00:18:17,188
♪♪
485
00:18:17,231 --> 00:18:19,407
[ Retches ]
486
00:18:19,451 --> 00:18:21,670
I'm sorry to be, like,
that person,
487
00:18:21,714 --> 00:18:23,977
but do they have anything
that's paleo here?
488
00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:25,283
Cucumber mint water?
489
00:18:25,326 --> 00:18:26,762
What about turkey legs?
490
00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:30,026
Yes, bitch. Pure lean protein.
Thank you.
491
00:18:30,070 --> 00:18:32,551
[ Clears throat ]
Who's a city lady?
492
00:18:32,594 --> 00:18:36,772
♪♪
493
00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:38,165
Man: Take dead aim!
494
00:18:38,209 --> 00:18:39,558
Try your luck.
495
00:18:39,601 --> 00:18:44,171
♪♪
496
00:18:44,215 --> 00:18:46,130
I see you, Legolas!
497
00:18:46,173 --> 00:18:49,045
Whew. Orlando Bloom wishes
he looked this good.
498
00:18:49,089 --> 00:18:51,091
Tankards and flagons!
Show me your jugs,
499
00:18:51,135 --> 00:18:53,049
-and I'll show you mine.
-Seriously?
500
00:18:53,093 --> 00:18:56,183
Would it hurt you to trynot
to commodify women's bodies?
501
00:18:56,227 --> 00:18:59,404
[ Laughing ]
502
00:18:59,447 --> 00:19:00,883
It's fine.
503
00:19:00,927 --> 00:19:02,537
♪♪
504
00:19:02,581 --> 00:19:03,669
[ Giggles ]
505
00:19:03,712 --> 00:19:05,192
-Yes!
-You. Guys.
506
00:19:05,236 --> 00:19:06,541
-This --
-Mean.
507
00:19:06,585 --> 00:19:08,587
-Much.
-It's you. Literally you.
508
00:19:08,630 --> 00:19:10,502
Do you guys take
AmEx black?
509
00:19:10,545 --> 00:19:12,591
[ Lisping ]
You bet your ass they do.
510
00:19:12,634 --> 00:19:14,375
[ Indistinct conversations
in distance ]
511
00:19:21,252 --> 00:19:24,080
-Who was that?
-No one.
512
00:19:24,124 --> 00:19:27,258
No one.
513
00:19:27,301 --> 00:19:30,043
Wait, wait,
you have to try this on.Yes.
514
00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:34,656
This faire is full of debauchery
and disgusting behavior!
515
00:19:34,700 --> 00:19:37,311
Oh, my God.
Thank you. Yes.
516
00:19:37,355 --> 00:19:40,619
The wanton whores should be
drawn and quartered,
517
00:19:40,662 --> 00:19:42,969
lest they corrupt young men
518
00:19:43,012 --> 00:19:45,276
-seeking virgin wives.
-Oh, wait.
519
00:19:45,319 --> 00:19:47,234
No. Women are -- are not
property.
520
00:19:47,278 --> 00:19:48,757
-You're missing it. You're --
-A woman's value
521
00:19:48,801 --> 00:19:50,281
lies in her maidenhead.
522
00:19:50,324 --> 00:19:52,021
Disgusting!
523
00:19:52,065 --> 00:19:55,373
Ooh, aye! Here's a bunch
of filthy peasants!
524
00:19:55,416 --> 00:19:59,594
Aye! Come back to the washer
wench show at 3:00 and 30,
525
00:19:59,638 --> 00:20:02,249
where getting clean
never felt so dirty.
526
00:20:02,293 --> 00:20:04,251
-[ Grunts, hums ]
-I'm sorry.
527
00:20:04,295 --> 00:20:06,732
Did you guys just call
yourselves "washer wenches"?
528
00:20:06,775 --> 00:20:08,864
A wench be
a working girl.
529
00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:10,605
-Aye, aye.
-Okay, but don't you think
530
00:20:10,649 --> 00:20:12,868
you could have come up
with, like, a more woke name
531
00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:15,393
-than that?
-More woke?
532
00:20:15,436 --> 00:20:17,525
"Woke" being
a culturally black term
533
00:20:17,569 --> 00:20:21,137
recently appropriated
by mainstream America?
534
00:20:21,181 --> 00:20:24,924
Just want to make sure I'm
hearing you correctly...Becky.
535
00:20:27,883 --> 00:20:29,145
Uh --
536
00:20:30,843 --> 00:20:33,149
Hello? Oh, yeah.
537
00:20:33,193 --> 00:20:37,284
I'm so sorry about her
and her Becky-ism.
538
00:20:37,328 --> 00:20:39,939
Nay, nay,
good mistress Ophelia!
539
00:20:39,982 --> 00:20:42,202
Have thee a pleasant day!
540
00:20:42,246 --> 00:20:44,552
-Mm!
-Aye.
541
00:20:55,868 --> 00:20:57,304
O0 C1[ [ Slurring ]ng,
Oh, actually, actually,
542
00:20:57,348 --> 00:20:59,959
I did sleep with many men
out of wedlock.
543
00:21:00,002 --> 00:21:02,178
Lord Chancellor
Christopher Hatton,
544
00:21:02,222 --> 00:21:04,703
the second Earl of Essex
Robert Devereux,
545
00:21:04,746 --> 00:21:06,182
Sir Walter Raleigh.
546
00:21:06,226 --> 00:21:08,576
Oh, you are such
a whore, you!
547
00:21:08,620 --> 00:21:10,622
You --
548
00:21:10,665 --> 00:21:14,365
[ All shrieking, laughing ]
549
00:21:14,408 --> 00:21:17,542
Cheers to the Queen
and her breast friends!
550
00:21:17,585 --> 00:21:19,935
[ All cheering ]
551
00:21:22,808 --> 00:21:24,766
Oh.
552
00:21:24,810 --> 00:21:27,552
I suppose you are
my best lady friends.
553
00:21:27,595 --> 00:21:30,511
Barkeep, can I have
another, please?
554
00:21:30,555 --> 00:21:33,122
And one
for my dear friend...
555
00:21:33,166 --> 00:21:36,082
♪♪
556
00:21:36,125 --> 00:21:38,954
Who are you?
557
00:21:38,998 --> 00:21:40,391
-I'm Alicia.
-Mm?
558
00:21:40,434 --> 00:21:43,307
We've worked together
for three summers.
559
00:21:43,350 --> 00:21:46,571
Alicia, you must tell me
everything about yourself.
560
00:21:46,614 --> 00:21:51,358
Are you, as I suspect,
from a troubled home?
561
00:21:51,402 --> 00:21:53,578
You have such sad eyes.
562
00:21:53,621 --> 00:21:55,623
♪♪
563
00:21:55,667 --> 00:21:57,625
♪ What do you do
with a drunken sailor? ♪
564
00:21:57,669 --> 00:21:59,714
♪ What do you do
with a drunken sailor? ♪
565
00:21:59,758 --> 00:22:04,850
♪ What do you do with a drunken
sailor earlye in the mornin'? ♪
566
00:22:04,893 --> 00:22:07,461
Oh. Mug him in the subway
and take his Guccis!
567
00:22:07,505 --> 00:22:09,463
♪ Mug him in the subway
and take his Guccis ♪
568
00:22:09,507 --> 00:22:11,335
♪ Mug him in the subway
and take his Guccis ♪
569
00:22:11,378 --> 00:22:13,075
♪ Mug him in the subway
and take his Guccis ♪
570
00:22:13,119 --> 00:22:15,556
♪ Earlye in the morning
571
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:17,297
I have one!
572
00:22:17,341 --> 00:22:19,168
Aw, man, I forgot.
573
00:22:19,212 --> 00:22:23,085
♪ Aw, man, she forgot,
aw, man, she forgot ♪
574
00:22:23,129 --> 00:22:29,657
♪ Aw, man, she forgot
earlye in the mornin' ♪
575
00:22:29,701 --> 00:22:31,790
[ Cheers and applause ]
576
00:22:35,271 --> 00:22:37,404
I mean, look, I'm --
I'll say it -- issa bop.
577
00:22:37,448 --> 00:22:40,451
[ Laughter ]
578
00:22:40,494 --> 00:22:43,367
Amanda, Amanda, look,
there's your assaulter.
579
00:22:43,410 --> 00:22:45,412
Oh, Morgan,
he didn't assault me.
580
00:22:45,456 --> 00:22:46,979
Oh, really? So you're just
not gonna confront him
581
00:22:47,022 --> 00:22:49,198
about his toxic behavior?
582
00:22:49,242 --> 00:22:51,592
Okay, no, yeah, no.
I just, you know --
583
00:22:51,636 --> 00:22:53,289
I thought you were
a feminist, Amanda.
584
00:22:56,902 --> 00:23:00,688
Hey.
Um, sir, uh, Jouster.
585
00:23:00,732 --> 00:23:02,647
-Hi. Um, so...
-Hi.
586
00:23:02,690 --> 00:23:04,997
I think that we need to define
some workplace boundaries.
587
00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:07,216
When you kissed me earlier,
I have to acknowledge
588
00:23:07,260 --> 00:23:10,785
that it wasn't something that
I technically consented to.
589
00:23:10,829 --> 00:23:13,745
Uh, I didn't
tell you to stop,
590
00:23:13,788 --> 00:23:16,356
but I didn't
joyfully consent.
591
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:18,271
Not that I'm saying
you're the Cat Person
592
00:23:18,314 --> 00:23:20,186
from that New Yorkerpiece.
You are so not the Cat Person.
593
00:23:20,229 --> 00:23:22,014
-I'm actually attracted to you.
-Nice.
594
00:23:22,057 --> 00:23:23,711
-Not that that's relevant.
-It's not.
595
00:23:23,755 --> 00:23:28,063
Anyway...
I hope that makes sense.
596
00:23:28,107 --> 00:23:29,500
Do you need any
clarification?
597
00:23:29,543 --> 00:23:32,372
No. [ Chuckles ]
I don't have any allergies.
598
00:23:32,416 --> 00:23:34,592
Listen, I got to go
brush my horse.
599
00:23:34,635 --> 00:23:36,811
But we should
hook up sometime.
600
00:23:36,855 --> 00:23:40,728
[ Indistinct conversations ]
601
00:23:40,772 --> 00:23:42,426
Amanda. Amanda.
602
00:23:42,469 --> 00:23:43,775
-Huh?
-Hi.
603
00:23:43,818 --> 00:23:46,299
-Oh.
-Me? Yeah. I'm genuinely worried
604
00:23:46,342 --> 00:23:48,040
about your safety here, okay?
605
00:23:48,083 --> 00:23:50,129
This is like one giant
pussy-grabbing party.
606
00:23:50,172 --> 00:23:52,392
Morgan, you don't have to worry.Okay, but it's not just about
607
00:23:52,436 --> 00:23:53,828
the aggrosexual jouster,
all right?
608
00:23:53,872 --> 00:23:55,395
It's this whole culture.
609
00:23:55,439 --> 00:23:57,005
Like, women
are objects here.
610
00:23:57,049 --> 00:23:59,268
-Amanda! Amanda, you're up.
-Yes?
611
00:23:59,312 --> 00:24:01,619
-Oh, right, right, right.
-Let's go, let's go, let's go.
612
00:24:01,662 --> 00:24:06,058
Listen, this is an amazing place
for women to feel empowered.
613
00:24:06,101 --> 00:24:07,625
I swear we're not
just objects here.
614
00:24:07,668 --> 00:24:12,673
Wench auction!
615
00:24:12,717 --> 00:24:14,719
[ Cheers and applause ]
616
00:24:14,762 --> 00:24:18,244
Gentlemen and
not so gentle ladies,
617
00:24:18,287 --> 00:24:21,639
we have some fine wenches
to be auctioned to you today.
618
00:24:21,682 --> 00:24:23,641
And you can pay fair price...
619
00:24:23,684 --> 00:24:26,513
or not![ Laughter ]
620
00:24:26,557 --> 00:24:28,472
I'll start the bidding.
621
00:24:28,515 --> 00:24:31,126
No.
With this lovely woman
622
00:24:31,170 --> 00:24:34,086
in the queer attire.
623
00:24:34,129 --> 00:24:36,610
Bid it up, boys.[ Men cheering ]
624
00:24:36,654 --> 00:24:41,180
Now, can I start this bidding
at one plague rat?
625
00:24:41,223 --> 00:24:42,224
Man:
Aye! One plague rat.
626
00:24:42,268 --> 00:24:43,487
10 dead penguins.
627
00:24:43,530 --> 00:24:44,531
A sickly sheep!
628
00:24:44,575 --> 00:24:45,967
10 bales of hay!
629
00:24:46,011 --> 00:24:48,013
I bid my ex-wife!
630
00:24:48,056 --> 00:24:49,449
[ Laughter ]
631
00:24:49,493 --> 00:24:51,451
-That might be it!
-Two yards of wool
632
00:24:51,495 --> 00:24:53,192
-and a young lamb.
-Sold!
633
00:24:53,235 --> 00:24:55,890
To the gentleman with
questionable motives.
634
00:24:55,934 --> 00:24:58,240
[ Cheers and applause ]
635
00:25:01,243 --> 00:25:03,289
Ah, they're made
for each other.
636
00:25:03,332 --> 00:25:05,073
[ Cheers and applause ]
637
00:25:05,117 --> 00:25:06,553
Huzzah.
638
00:25:06,597 --> 00:25:10,122
[ Cheers and applause ]
639
00:25:10,165 --> 00:25:14,648
Next up, the faire's own
dirty pub wench,
640
00:25:14,692 --> 00:25:17,346
Ophelia Feelsgood!
641
00:25:17,390 --> 00:25:18,609
[ Cheers and applause ]
642
00:25:18,652 --> 00:25:21,046
-Come on, Ophelia!
-Whoo!
643
00:25:21,089 --> 00:25:24,049
Shut up.
644
00:25:24,092 --> 00:25:27,356
I'm so glad to be participating
in this event,
645
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:28,967
because I love
participating in events
646
00:25:29,010 --> 00:25:32,536
where women
support other women.
647
00:25:32,579 --> 00:25:34,668
Show us your tits!
648
00:25:34,712 --> 00:25:37,062
[ Cheers and applause ]
649
00:25:40,935 --> 00:25:43,372
Yo, band nerds,
drop a beat.
650
00:25:43,416 --> 00:25:46,245
[ Lively folk music playing ]
651
00:25:46,288 --> 00:25:48,682
-What's happening?
-Women supporting women?
652
00:25:48,726 --> 00:25:50,684
Huh? Whoa.
[ Screaming ]
653
00:25:50,728 --> 00:25:52,468
[ Cheers and applause ]
654
00:25:52,512 --> 00:25:59,911
♪♪
655
00:25:59,954 --> 00:26:02,348
Whoo!
656
00:26:02,391 --> 00:26:05,003
-Oh.
-Yas!
657
00:26:05,046 --> 00:26:06,874
Whoo!
658
00:26:06,918 --> 00:26:14,578
♪♪
659
00:26:14,621 --> 00:26:18,538
[ Cheers and applause ]
660
00:26:18,582 --> 00:26:22,411
Now, folks, that surely
is worth a bid.
661
00:26:22,455 --> 00:26:24,544
I bid a shepherd's pie
662
00:26:24,588 --> 00:26:26,154
and my ax!
663
00:26:26,198 --> 00:26:27,329
Only?
664
00:26:27,373 --> 00:26:28,504
[ Lisping ]
My ovaries.
665
00:26:28,548 --> 00:26:30,898
A grande
iced mochachino!
666
00:26:30,942 --> 00:26:32,204
A bucket of dead skin!
667
00:26:32,247 --> 00:26:33,422
Thick stick!
668
00:26:33,466 --> 00:26:34,728
A dozen sheep!
669
00:26:34,772 --> 00:26:36,512
Some of 'em with four legs.
670
00:26:36,556 --> 00:26:38,166
You can do better than that,
Pizzle.
671
00:26:38,210 --> 00:26:40,908
And tat for two
from Zabar's.
672
00:26:40,952 --> 00:26:43,781
-Ooh.
-Stick.
673
00:26:43,824 --> 00:26:45,652
A castle in France!
674
00:26:45,696 --> 00:26:49,134
Okay, we're done. Come on.[ Cheers and applause ]
675
00:26:49,177 --> 00:26:52,746
Sold!
[ Laughs ]
676
00:26:52,790 --> 00:26:55,314
Let's go.You're taking this
too seriously, Morgan.
677
00:26:55,357 --> 00:26:57,446
Oh, really? You were just
mock-sold for sex. Okay?
678
00:26:57,490 --> 00:26:59,013
So, you're welcome, B-T-dubs,
for making it stop.
679
00:26:59,057 --> 00:27:00,885
Obviously,
it was just for fun.
680
00:27:00,928 --> 00:27:02,538
Well, what if a bunch
of little girls saw you?
681
00:27:02,582 --> 00:27:03,670
What kind of message
are you sending?
682
00:27:03,714 --> 00:27:05,454
Maybe if little girls
saw me,
683
00:27:05,498 --> 00:27:07,543
they would see that it isn't
negative to be sexual.
684
00:27:07,587 --> 00:27:09,023
There's a difference
between being sexual
685
00:27:09,067 --> 00:27:10,677
and being sexualized.
686
00:27:10,721 --> 00:27:15,290
Fair maiden, you were
positively fantastic.
687
00:27:15,334 --> 00:27:17,902
We always present this
to our favorite at the auction.
688
00:27:17,945 --> 00:27:20,382
-Uh-oh.
-And you were far and away
689
00:27:20,426 --> 00:27:22,254
the --
drumroll, please --
690
00:27:22,297 --> 00:27:24,169
[ Both imitate drumroll ]
691
00:27:24,212 --> 00:27:26,301
-Wenchiest Wench!
-Wenchiest Wench!
692
00:27:26,345 --> 00:27:28,652
Oh.[ Both imitating fanfare ]
693
00:27:28,695 --> 00:27:31,089
Oh, no. Oh, wow.
694
00:27:31,132 --> 00:27:32,960
[ Both continue
imitating fanfare ]
695
00:27:33,004 --> 00:27:34,701
[ Sighs ]
Guys.
696
00:27:34,745 --> 00:27:36,137
[ Chuckles ]
697
00:27:36,181 --> 00:27:38,487
Thank you so much.
698
00:27:38,531 --> 00:27:42,100
[ Chuckles ]
699
00:27:42,143 --> 00:27:44,363
You're not really gonna
wear that thing.
700
00:27:44,406 --> 00:27:46,931
Oh, Morgan,
can you just relax?
701
00:27:46,974 --> 00:27:49,281
"Just relax"? [ Scoffs ]
Wow. What a privileged concept.
702
00:27:49,324 --> 00:27:50,717
Yeah, I wish
I could just relax,
703
00:27:50,761 --> 00:27:52,501
but unlike your horny,
little fantasy camp,
704
00:27:52,545 --> 00:27:57,028
the real world has consequences
for sexual harassment.
705
00:27:57,071 --> 00:28:00,118
Morgan's in the middle of
a lawsuit against her ex-boss.
706
00:28:00,161 --> 00:28:03,991
Yeah, he groped her.
A lot.
707
00:28:04,035 --> 00:28:06,472
Oh, my God.
Morgan, I'm -- I'm so sorry.
708
00:28:06,515 --> 00:28:08,692
-I had no idea.
-Exactly.
709
00:28:08,735 --> 00:28:10,694
Exactly. You have no idea
what anyoneis going through,
710
00:28:10,737 --> 00:28:13,697
yet you're 100% convinced
that all of this objectification
711
00:28:13,740 --> 00:28:16,612
and toxic masculinity
is just for fun, okay?
712
00:28:16,656 --> 00:28:18,658
So, yeah, go win Wenchiest Wench
for the patriarchy.
713
00:28:18,702 --> 00:28:20,660
-Or for losers like them.
-Hey!
714
00:28:20,704 --> 00:28:23,184
What? They are part of
the problem. Everyone here is.
715
00:28:23,228 --> 00:28:26,013
People like them,
anyone who comes here,
716
00:28:26,057 --> 00:28:28,233
can say what works
and what doesn't.
717
00:28:28,276 --> 00:28:30,278
I'm sorry
it's upsetting to you.
718
00:28:30,322 --> 00:28:32,367
And I'm sorry about what
you're going through, truly.
719
00:28:32,411 --> 00:28:33,760
But you can't take it out
720
00:28:33,804 --> 00:28:35,936
on good, kind people
like Bo and Jenny,
721
00:28:35,980 --> 00:28:38,809
who are trying to just get away
from the real world
722
00:28:38,852 --> 00:28:41,333
and find someplace where
they feel like they can belong.
723
00:28:43,683 --> 00:28:46,120
So...
724
00:28:46,164 --> 00:28:48,993
If you don't like it here,
then you should just leave.
725
00:28:53,911 --> 00:28:56,000
[ Scoffs ]
726
00:28:56,043 --> 00:28:58,393
I don't even know
who you are right now.
727
00:28:58,437 --> 00:29:00,961
God. What the hell am I gonna
tell your mother?
728
00:29:01,005 --> 00:29:02,702
Why do you have
to tell her anything?
729
00:29:05,749 --> 00:29:08,099
-Did she send you here?
-It's -- She -- I --
730
00:29:08,142 --> 00:29:09,970
Would you guys have even
come if she hadn't?
731
00:29:10,014 --> 00:29:11,319
-Yes.
-Of course we would have.
732
00:29:11,363 --> 00:29:14,192
-She lent us her 'Cedes.
-Oh, stop it.
733
00:29:14,235 --> 00:29:17,325
♪♪
734
00:29:17,369 --> 00:29:20,502
Listen, I --
I love you, Amanda.
735
00:29:20,546 --> 00:29:23,201
I do.
I really do, okay?
736
00:29:23,244 --> 00:29:25,333
But this?
737
00:29:25,377 --> 00:29:28,293
I can't.
738
00:29:28,336 --> 00:29:31,600
-Hello?
-Okay.
739
00:29:31,644 --> 00:29:33,864
Look, you should totally
bone that jouster.
740
00:29:33,907 --> 00:29:35,822
And if he's good,
just give him my number.
741
00:29:35,866 --> 00:29:37,432
-Mm-hmm.
-He reads bi.
742
00:29:37,476 --> 00:29:39,347
[ Chuckles ]
743
00:29:39,391 --> 00:29:41,610
I like dressing slutty.
744
00:29:41,654 --> 00:29:44,788
Love you, Amanda.
745
00:29:44,831 --> 00:29:47,399
[ Man shouting
indistinctly in distance ]
746
00:29:47,442 --> 00:29:49,531
[ Cheers and applause
in distance ]
747
00:29:49,575 --> 00:29:54,101
♪♪
748
00:29:54,145 --> 00:29:54,232
O0 C1
749
00:29:54,275 --> 00:29:56,625
[ Muttering indistinctly ]
750
00:29:59,933 --> 00:30:01,543
[ Sobs ]
751
00:30:01,587 --> 00:30:03,632
Should I text him?
I should text him, right?
752
00:30:03,676 --> 00:30:05,765
Actually, I think it's time
to move on.
753
00:30:05,809 --> 00:30:08,942
Oh, how wise.
It is time to move on.
754
00:30:08,986 --> 00:30:11,249
No, it's time
for usto move on
755
00:30:11,292 --> 00:30:13,033
to the next stop
on the Pub Crawl.
756
00:30:13,077 --> 00:30:15,035
We paid 60 bucks
for this.
757
00:30:15,079 --> 00:30:16,689
-Fine.
-Bye.
758
00:30:16,732 --> 00:30:18,386
Fair thee well.
759
00:30:18,430 --> 00:30:19,953
Rest you merry.
760
00:30:19,997 --> 00:30:21,607
Mm...
761
00:30:24,479 --> 00:30:27,004
Oh, whoa, whoa,
whoa, okay.
762
00:30:27,047 --> 00:30:29,136
I think you've had enough,
Your Highness. Let's trade.
763
00:30:29,180 --> 00:30:30,659
Ah, Lee.
764
00:30:30,703 --> 00:30:32,879
Lee, Lee.
765
00:30:32,923 --> 00:30:36,100
What is this life, huh?
766
00:30:36,143 --> 00:30:39,494
You and me know the truth,
right?
767
00:30:39,538 --> 00:30:40,756
What's that, Maggie?
768
00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:44,021
The truth is
that we're all alone.
769
00:30:44,064 --> 00:30:46,371
We'll always be alone.
770
00:30:46,414 --> 00:30:47,981
God is dead.
771
00:30:55,510 --> 00:30:57,208
-Uh...
-Mm?
772
00:30:59,950 --> 00:31:01,777
Maggie...
773
00:31:04,476 --> 00:31:06,782
...I love you.
Truly.
774
00:31:06,826 --> 00:31:08,828
I've always thought
you were beautiful and dark
775
00:31:08,872 --> 00:31:11,875
and deliciously
complicated.
776
00:31:11,918 --> 00:31:13,224
And hearing
that you're lonely like me
777
00:31:13,267 --> 00:31:16,488
just makes me
love you more.
778
00:31:16,531 --> 00:31:17,924
I think you're
the perfect woman.
779
00:31:17,968 --> 00:31:19,317
And you're drunk right now,
780
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:23,234
so I don't want this
to get all rapey, but...
781
00:31:23,277 --> 00:31:25,714
I wish
you were my girlfriend.
782
00:31:31,764 --> 00:31:32,852
[ Vomiting ]
783
00:31:32,896 --> 00:31:34,332
Oh!
784
00:31:39,119 --> 00:31:41,034
-[ Mutters indistinctly ]
-Is she okay?
785
00:31:41,078 --> 00:31:42,818
Yeah, just very,
very drunk.
786
00:31:42,862 --> 00:31:47,432
I have to go
numbers 1, 2, and 3.
787
00:31:47,475 --> 00:31:49,956
-I'll take her from here.
-Yep.
788
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:52,567
-Do I look pretty?
-Yes, dear.
789
00:31:52,611 --> 00:31:54,743
Would you believe me
if I told you I was in my 30s?
790
00:31:54,787 --> 00:31:57,007
-Yes, dear.
-Do you think Daniel Day-Lewis
791
00:31:57,050 --> 00:31:59,879
wore his Lincoln hat
while he slept and showered?
792
00:31:59,923 --> 00:32:01,098
Yes, dear.
793
00:32:01,141 --> 00:32:02,621
You're my best friend.
794
00:32:02,664 --> 00:32:04,275
Yep.
795
00:32:04,318 --> 00:32:06,842
♪♪
796
00:32:06,886 --> 00:32:09,497
[ Guitar tuning ]
797
00:32:09,541 --> 00:32:13,240
[ Indistinct conversations ]
798
00:32:13,284 --> 00:32:15,286
I know, I know --
I'm drinking again.
799
00:32:15,329 --> 00:32:18,898
But if you would refrain from
mentioning anything about that,
800
00:32:18,942 --> 00:32:20,769
that would be
very much appreciated.
801
00:32:20,813 --> 00:32:22,858
Actually, I was going to say
I'm impressed.
802
00:32:22,902 --> 00:32:24,556
Drinking discount
cooler beer?
803
00:32:24,599 --> 00:32:25,949
Very un-city-lady of you.
804
00:32:25,992 --> 00:32:28,342
So now you give me credit.
805
00:32:28,386 --> 00:32:30,083
Finally.
806
00:32:30,127 --> 00:32:33,130
[ Sighs ]
807
00:32:33,173 --> 00:32:35,001
Tough day?
808
00:32:35,045 --> 00:32:37,699
My lady friends are a lot.
809
00:32:37,743 --> 00:32:39,701
-Spence or Brearley?
-Spence?
810
00:32:39,745 --> 00:32:42,139
[ British accent ]
How very dare you?
811
00:32:42,182 --> 00:32:44,141
[ Normal voice ] Brearley.
Wait, how did you know that?
812
00:32:44,184 --> 00:32:46,056
Oh, I'm from the city.
813
00:32:46,099 --> 00:32:47,840
Shut up!
814
00:32:47,883 --> 00:32:49,842
-What?!
-You shut up.
815
00:32:49,885 --> 00:32:51,757
Wh-Where?
Where are you from?
816
00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:52,976
Wait, no, let me guess,
let me guess,
817
00:32:53,019 --> 00:32:55,456
let me guess.
Okay, okay, okay. Mm...
818
00:32:55,500 --> 00:32:58,285
Lower East Side, artist parents?Unh-unh. No.
819
00:32:58,329 --> 00:32:59,373
Upper West Side,
820
00:32:59,417 --> 00:33:00,418
-journalist parents?
-No.
821
00:33:00,461 --> 00:33:01,897
No? Okay. Uh...
822
00:33:01,941 --> 00:33:04,683
Greenpoint,
Polish bakers?
823
00:33:04,726 --> 00:33:06,250
[ Imitates buzzer ]
824
00:33:06,293 --> 00:33:08,774
-Chelsea, two dads?
-[ Laughing ] No.
825
00:33:08,817 --> 00:33:10,471
Where are you from?Hey, dude,
why didn't you bid on me?
826
00:33:10,515 --> 00:33:12,778
Only one chick
dressed like Shrek bid on me.
827
00:33:12,821 --> 00:33:14,562
-It was humiliating.
-I'm sorry, man.
828
00:33:14,606 --> 00:33:16,912
But I'm sure that you're gonna
make a very handsome couple.
829
00:33:16,956 --> 00:33:20,177
-[ Laughs ]
-Well...
830
00:33:20,220 --> 00:33:22,005
You r-really
hurt me today.
831
00:33:24,268 --> 00:33:27,053
Oh, man, he is
a delicate flower.
832
00:33:27,097 --> 00:33:28,533
Your friends
are a handful, too.
833
00:33:28,576 --> 00:33:30,056
Ah,
he's just showing off.
834
00:33:30,100 --> 00:33:32,798
He likes to prove
he has feelings.
835
00:33:32,841 --> 00:33:35,192
-Hey, you want another beer?
-Uh-huh.
836
00:33:35,235 --> 00:33:38,064
The more discount,
the better.
837
00:33:38,108 --> 00:33:39,805
I miss you
in the hot tub, baby.
838
00:33:39,848 --> 00:33:42,155
Hot tub?
Who's got a hot tub?
839
00:33:42,199 --> 00:33:43,852
It's hitched
to Helen's bus.
840
00:33:43,896 --> 00:33:45,419
I heard she bought it
off the tour manager
841
00:33:45,463 --> 00:33:47,247
for Country-Palooza.
842
00:33:47,291 --> 00:33:49,902
Your mom must be hella rich.
843
00:33:49,945 --> 00:33:51,947
[ Laughter, cheering
in distance ]
844
00:33:51,991 --> 00:33:54,037
Okay, new rule, guys.
You can only soak in the Jacuzzi
845
00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:56,474
if you're butt-ass naked.
846
00:33:56,517 --> 00:33:59,259
-Cool.
-Ohh, about to get so naked.
847
00:33:59,303 --> 00:34:01,870
[ Both laughing ]
848
00:34:01,914 --> 00:34:05,613
Indeed. Very cool.
849
00:34:05,657 --> 00:34:08,747
Yeah, that's all on you.
That's you. Okay.
850
00:34:08,790 --> 00:34:10,357
David: Damn, that's a lot
of man titties.
851
00:34:10,401 --> 00:34:12,098
-That's cool.
-Whoo!
852
00:34:12,142 --> 00:34:15,710
[ All cheering, laughing ]
853
00:34:15,754 --> 00:34:17,016
Helen:
Are you farting?
854
00:34:17,060 --> 00:34:19,714
-Wine?
-God, yes.
855
00:34:19,758 --> 00:34:23,631
Can't go wring with
a Willamette Valley Pinot.
856
00:34:23,675 --> 00:34:26,982
[ Helen speaking indistinctly
in distance ]
857
00:34:27,026 --> 00:34:29,028
-Thank you.
-Mm-hmm. Ah.
858
00:34:31,465 --> 00:34:32,814
[ Glasses clink ]
859
00:34:35,904 --> 00:34:37,602
Mmm.
860
00:34:39,865 --> 00:34:42,128
What brings Shakespeare
down to the Groundlings
861
00:34:42,172 --> 00:34:45,523
-without his Royal --
-Do not say hag.
862
00:34:45,566 --> 00:34:49,135
-Not nice.
-I was gonna say therapy dog.
863
00:34:49,179 --> 00:34:50,876
She's passed out.
864
00:34:50,919 --> 00:34:53,748
Got absolutely wasted
on the Pub Crawl today.
865
00:34:53,792 --> 00:34:56,795
Oh, wow. That's --
866
00:34:56,838 --> 00:34:59,711
That's kind of amazing.
867
00:34:59,754 --> 00:35:02,148
She was not very helpful
to me today
868
00:35:02,192 --> 00:35:04,107
as a friend.
869
00:35:04,150 --> 00:35:05,804
You okay?
870
00:35:16,554 --> 00:35:18,425
-There's a guy.
-Mm?
871
00:35:18,469 --> 00:35:21,167
Juan Andrés.
872
00:35:21,211 --> 00:35:24,562
And I like him.
873
00:35:24,605 --> 00:35:26,303
Mm. You guys would be
great together.
874
00:35:26,346 --> 00:35:28,218
What's the game plan?
875
00:35:28,261 --> 00:35:30,655
-The game plan?
-Yeah, what's next steps?
876
00:35:30,698 --> 00:35:34,354
Well, I made a fool of myself
in front of him twice today,
877
00:35:34,398 --> 00:35:35,921
so I think my next step
878
00:35:35,964 --> 00:35:38,358
is to dig a hole
and go to sleep in it.
879
00:35:38,402 --> 00:35:40,665
Oh, come on.
It can't be that bad.
880
00:35:40,708 --> 00:35:43,755
I fear that it really,
really was.
881
00:35:43,798 --> 00:35:45,191
Oh.
882
00:35:47,541 --> 00:35:49,761
♪♪
883
00:35:49,804 --> 00:35:53,025
Then you got to
go fix it. Mm?
884
00:35:53,068 --> 00:35:55,070
-Now?
-Yes, now.
885
00:35:55,114 --> 00:35:58,639
We get so caught up
in our own limitations,
886
00:35:58,683 --> 00:36:01,425
how we think
we're supposed to be,
887
00:36:01,468 --> 00:36:03,209
how people want us to be,
888
00:36:03,253 --> 00:36:06,691
but this place is teaching me
to live in the now.
889
00:36:06,734 --> 00:36:08,562
You got to be present.
890
00:36:08,606 --> 00:36:10,216
-Be in the now.
-Yeah.
891
00:36:10,260 --> 00:36:11,522
-Yes!
-Yes!
892
00:36:11,565 --> 00:36:13,567
You got to go get him!
893
00:36:13,611 --> 00:36:15,482
-Yes!
-Yes. Go ask him out!
894
00:36:15,526 --> 00:36:17,049
Wow.
895
00:36:17,092 --> 00:36:18,920
Right.
896
00:36:18,964 --> 00:36:20,357
-Okay. Okay.
-Uh-huh.
897
00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:21,923
[ Laughs ]
898
00:36:21,967 --> 00:36:23,229
-Go!
-Wish me luck.
899
00:36:23,273 --> 00:36:25,536
G-Go get yours, Tiger.
900
00:36:25,579 --> 00:36:28,191
♪♪
901
00:36:28,234 --> 00:36:30,236
[ Sighs ]
902
00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:36,982
♪♪
903
00:36:37,025 --> 00:36:43,641
♪♪
904
00:36:43,684 --> 00:36:50,256
♪♪
905
00:36:53,259 --> 00:36:59,091
♪♪
906
00:36:59,134 --> 00:37:04,879
♪♪
907
00:37:04,923 --> 00:37:06,838
Hi, there.
908
00:37:06,881 --> 00:37:08,579
Hello, Juan Andrés.
909
00:37:08,622 --> 00:37:10,581
I just came by to tell you
910
00:37:10,624 --> 00:37:15,063
that I'm really very sorry
about today,
911
00:37:15,107 --> 00:37:19,242
and that the reason I was
acting like such a jackass
912
00:37:19,285 --> 00:37:23,550
is that I, uh --
913
00:37:23,594 --> 00:37:26,205
I'd like to...
914
00:37:26,249 --> 00:37:29,295
be your friend.
915
00:37:29,339 --> 00:37:32,298
Would you maybe
like to be my friend
916
00:37:32,342 --> 00:37:34,561
and hang out
with me sometime?
917
00:37:36,694 --> 00:37:38,696
I'm watching
"Seven Samurai."
918
00:37:38,739 --> 00:37:40,306
Want to join?
919
00:37:42,961 --> 00:37:44,484
Yes.
920
00:37:44,528 --> 00:37:45,659
Sure.
921
00:37:45,703 --> 00:37:47,226
I -- Right now?
922
00:37:47,270 --> 00:37:49,315
-Yes. Now.
-Okay. Yeah, I'm -- I'm free.
923
00:37:49,359 --> 00:37:50,751
Yeah.
924
00:37:50,795 --> 00:37:52,927
Here you go.
925
00:37:52,971 --> 00:37:54,451
Oh. [ Chuckles ]
926
00:37:54,494 --> 00:37:55,582
Okay.
927
00:37:55,626 --> 00:37:56,801
Such a classic.
928
00:37:56,844 --> 00:37:58,629
Sucha classic.
929
00:37:58,672 --> 00:38:01,153
I love classics.
930
00:38:01,196 --> 00:38:04,461
Toshiro Mifune. I like him
even better in "Rashomon."
931
00:38:04,504 --> 00:38:05,766
-Oh, yes.
-Yeah.
932
00:38:05,810 --> 00:38:08,856
Yes.
933
00:38:08,900 --> 00:38:11,685
Actually, I've
never seen either.
934
00:38:11,729 --> 00:38:14,471
Are they, uh, good?
[ Chuckles ]
935
00:38:14,514 --> 00:38:16,473
[ Chuckles ]
So good.
936
00:38:16,516 --> 00:38:18,736
Akira Kurosawa?
You'd dig him.
937
00:38:18,779 --> 00:38:20,564
"Throne of Blood"
owes a ton to "Macbeth,"
938
00:38:20,607 --> 00:38:23,393
and "Ran" is "King Lear,"
beat for beat.
939
00:38:23,436 --> 00:38:25,873
"King Lear's" my favorite.
940
00:38:25,917 --> 00:38:28,789
I'd do it at the faire, but it's
not exactly a crowd pleaser.
941
00:38:28,833 --> 00:38:30,313
-Mm.
-If I had a nickel
942
00:38:30,356 --> 00:38:32,227
for every time
I had to perform,
943
00:38:32,271 --> 00:38:35,970
"But soft, what light
through yonder window breaks?"
944
00:38:36,014 --> 00:38:39,147
"Romeo, Romeo,
wherefore art thou Romeo?"
945
00:38:39,191 --> 00:38:40,975
[ Both laugh ]
946
00:38:41,019 --> 00:38:42,325
Of course, they all
think that means,
947
00:38:42,368 --> 00:38:44,588
"Where are you, Romeo?"
when it really means...
948
00:38:44,631 --> 00:38:46,677
-Why are you Romeo?
-Why are you Romeo?
949
00:39:03,563 --> 00:39:06,261
Brian?
950
00:39:06,305 --> 00:39:07,611
Yes?
951
00:39:07,654 --> 00:39:10,396
I was so nervous
around you today.
952
00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:12,180
[ Chuckles ]
953
00:39:12,224 --> 00:39:15,270
I was nervous around you.
954
00:39:15,314 --> 00:39:18,839
Every time I saw you,
I got all weird and quiet.
955
00:39:18,883 --> 00:39:20,885
I didn't know what to say.
956
00:39:20,928 --> 00:39:23,888
Uh, I made a joke
about Hitler.
957
00:39:23,931 --> 00:39:26,804
I mean, you kind of actually
called meHitler.
958
00:39:26,847 --> 00:39:30,242
[ Both laugh ]
959
00:39:30,285 --> 00:39:35,769
Well, I'm really happy
that we're friends now.
960
00:39:35,813 --> 00:39:38,250
I have enough friends.
961
00:39:41,558 --> 00:39:51,437
♪♪
962
00:39:51,481 --> 00:39:53,831
[ Horse snorting ]
963
00:39:53,874 --> 00:39:59,967
♪♪
964
00:40:17,245 --> 00:40:19,378
-Hey.
-Hey.
965
00:40:24,383 --> 00:40:26,254
[ Grunts, sighs ]
966
00:40:28,039 --> 00:40:31,912
[ Rooster crows ]
967
00:40:31,956 --> 00:40:34,132
[ Smooches ]
968
00:40:38,615 --> 00:40:40,268
That's right.
969
00:40:42,662 --> 00:40:46,187
So, I'm gonna go?
970
00:40:46,231 --> 00:40:49,060
Whatever.
No pressure.
971
00:40:49,103 --> 00:40:50,844
[ Horse snorts ]
972
00:40:50,888 --> 00:40:52,455
Yeah.
973
00:40:52,498 --> 00:40:54,108
No pressure.
974
00:40:56,981 --> 00:40:59,418
Living in the now.
975
00:40:59,462 --> 00:41:01,464
Hey, Ananda?
976
00:41:01,507 --> 00:41:05,598
It's Amanda.
977
00:41:05,642 --> 00:41:08,166
Nice fucking.
978
00:41:08,209 --> 00:41:12,170
Yeah. Nice fucking.
979
00:41:12,213 --> 00:41:14,041
Ooh.
980
00:41:14,085 --> 00:41:18,568
♪♪
981
00:41:18,611 --> 00:41:20,439
Ooh.
982
00:41:20,483 --> 00:41:25,400
♪♪
983
00:41:25,444 --> 00:41:28,534
[ Indistinct conversations ]
984
00:41:28,578 --> 00:41:30,667
[ Cellphone ringing ]
985
00:41:32,843 --> 00:41:34,540
[ Sighs ]
986
00:41:34,584 --> 00:41:36,281
[ Cellphone beeps ]
987
00:41:36,324 --> 00:41:38,544
Mom, I know what you did.
988
00:41:38,588 --> 00:41:40,677
How could you send my friends?
989
00:41:40,720 --> 00:41:42,330
Seriously?
Nice one.
990
00:41:42,374 --> 00:41:44,637
Amanda, it's Erin.
991
00:41:44,681 --> 00:41:47,858
Mom O.D.'d.
Get your ass home.
992
00:41:47,901 --> 00:41:50,382
♪♪
993
00:41:53,603 --> 00:42:01,698
O0 C1♪♪
994
00:42:01,741 --> 00:42:09,923
♪♪
995
00:42:09,967 --> 00:42:18,062
♪♪
69602
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