Original subtitles

Good evening, and happy birthday.

I’m somewhat afraid to cut this cake.

The last time I attempted that,

a young lady stepped out.

It was extremely unnerving.

Especially since it was obvious she was no lady.

However, there’s little chance of a recurrence of that memorable event,

for our celebration is a more formal one.

The company is commemorating my many years of servitude.

This time, they will probably give me black birds.

While I’m cutting this, I believe my employer

wishes to make a short speech, and present us with a story.

Oh, Mr. Cheever.

Somebody told me today’s your last day. Is that right?

Yes.

Well, I just wanted to wish you good luck.

-Oh. -I mean, in case I don’t see you later.

Well, thank you. That’s very nice of you.

I see they got you workin’ right up to the end, huh?

Well, business is business.

Yeah, that’s what they tell me.

Take care, now.

-[man] Surprise! -[all] Surprise!

[chattering]

You didn’t think we’d let you get away without a party,

did you? No, sir, Miles.

After all, you’ve been with us for 20 years.

Oh, well, I thought you wanted these papers, Mr. Dougherty.

That was just a trick to get you out of the office.

We’ve been planning this all week.

Well, shouldn’t I file them?

[everyone laughing]

Look at him.

I wish the rest of you were this conscientious.

Just put them in there on my desk, Miles. They’re not important.

All right, sir.

Now, we need some ice cubes? Will you get those?

And mix, please. Miss Lemmon, the cups...

[chattering]

[Dougherty] Come on, Miles, what’s keeping you?

You’re the guest of honor.

I’ll be right there, Mr. Dougherty.

[indistinct chattering]

-[woman] Here, give me your hat. -[Dougherty] ...be in business here.

Hey, you just come right over here and get you a drink.

Here you are, Miles.

Don’t drink it all at once.

[everyone laughing]

Well, everybody got a drink?

-[everyone] Yes. -[Dougherty] Good, good.

Miles, you sit right down over here.

Sit here next to me.

There. You know, I’m really going to miss you.

Aha! Now it comes out. Admit it.

You and Miss Lemmon have been carrying on behind our backs.

[everyone laughing]

No. Honestly. I mean, I’m a married man.

Oh! All the good ones are taken.

People, I’d just like to say a few words.

And I promise I’ll make them brief.

The end of an era is not a time for speeches,

it’s a time for thought

and when Miles Cheever leaves this office today

it will be the end of an era.

A time for all of us here at Cumberland, Inc.,

to take stock of ourselves and of our company.

So here’s to you, Miles.

A toast to your 20 years of loyal service.

We’re really gonna miss you, old fella.

-[all] Speech! Speech! [man] Come on.

Well, I, I don’t know what to say.

Look, he’s blushing.

You don’t have to say anything, Miles. Your work speaks for itself.

And now, I’d like to present you with a little token of our esteem.

Eh, where did we put that...?

-Rudy has it. -Oh, oh. Rudy. Yes. Thank you, Rudy.

Here you are, Miles.

A little going-away present from all of us.

Why this is very nice of you.

-Open it. -[all] Open it.

We thought you might want to write your memoirs someday.

[everyone laughing]

This is very nice.

-Read the card. -What?

"To Mr. Cheever from the gang at the office."

Well, gee, thank you. I certainly do appreciate it.

Nothing at all. Nothing at all.

Well, almost closing time.

-Miles, best of luck to you. -Thank you, sir.

-You’ll keep in touch? -Oh, yes, sir.

Fine, fine. Well, the rest of you aren’t retiring today, so

I’ll see you all on Monday morning.

-Bye. -[woman] Drop by the business some time.

And then what happened?

Well, then Mr. Dougherty made a speech about how my leaving marked the passing of an era.

It was really quite embarrassing.

And then we had drinks. Out of paper cups, of all things.

It sounds like Mr. Dougherty.

He probably made everyone chip in.

It wouldn’t surprise me if he deducted the party from your paycheck.

Maybe he did.

Other companies, they give a banquet when a man retires.

It’s a special occasion.

They hire a room in a hotel and they serve dinner.

Did they give you a gift, at least?

-Is this all? -That’s all.

Why, they didn’t even have your name engraved on it.

-Engraving costs money. -Not even a wristwatch.

I think it’s a shame.

Imagine. All those years and this is what they think of you.

You were nothing but a cog in a machine, Miles.

Someone who just took up space in an office.

Well, they’re not going to get away with it.

We’ll show them, won’t we?

Yes, I think we will.

After all, how do they expect people

to live on the pensions they pay?

-Impossible -Of course, it is.

In the old days, I thought that when you retired

we should take a nice long drive across the country.

You’ve always wanted to travel

and I was hoping we could stop by in Cleveland

and see my sister.

But now I realize that’s not enough.

After all those years of work you deserve much more.

I suppose I do.

You’re a man who appreciates the good things in life.

And there’s only one way to get them.

Isn’t that right, Miles?

Well..

Well, I’d better get started.

-More coffee? -No, thanks.

Might as well get it over with.

Yes, you’re right. No sense putting things off, is there?

How long do you think you’ll be?

Oh, not more than an hour. Goodbye, dear.

You’d better wear your coat. It’s getting chilly.

I’ll be all right.

[lamp clicks on]

[lamp clicks on]

It certainly is a lot of money.

How much do you suppose there is?

-Well, I haven’t counted it yet. -It’s quite a nest egg.

Did you have trouble at the office?

None at all.

I must say, Miles,

I’ve been looking forward to our financial independence.

You’ve worked hard for it and you deserve it.

Thank you, dear.

I suppose there’ll be a great hullabaloo tomorrow morning

when they discover the money missing,

but if we just sit tight,

time will take care of everything.

Of course, it means that we can’t visit my sister

as soon as we planned to, but it’s worth the waiting.

Now, I’ll go on and finish things up

and then we can count the money together.

All right.

Trade Winds?

Is Flight 106 leaving on schedule?

11:00. Thank you.

Dear...

I, uh, I’m gonna run down to the drugstore, I need a few things.

All right, dear. Do you have enough money?

I think so.

-I’m here. -[woman] Oh, I’ll be right out.

See...

I had it all ready for you.

Thank you, my dear.

And nice and cold, too.

Hey, you didn’t even kiss me.

[chuckles]

Everything work out all right?

Everything is lovely.

But we’d better drink up and get started.

Can I go like this?

Well, I would have preferred something more conservative,

but there isn’t time to change now.

You can wear your coat.

How was it today?

Oh, same as usual.

Except for a pathetic little retirement party.

Mr. Dougherty...

told me how much he was gonna miss me.

He’s going to miss a lot of things Monday morning.

Mm-hmm. So will your wife.

Never mind her.

The house is paid for

and a few thousand in the bank. She’ll be all right.

-Now, what shall we drink to? -To Hawaii, and to us.

You know, I still can’t hardly believe it.

Well, it’s true.

Tonight we balance the books.

Close out one life and begin another.

It sounds wonderful.

I just wish I could take some things with me.

No, Anita, I told you. Not even a toothbrush.

I know, but all my beautiful dresses.

You can buy a whole new wardrobe.

Even a mink coat?

If your heart is set on a mink, a mink it shall be.

Oh, Miles, I can hardly wait.

How much money was in the safe?

All we’ll ever need.

Thanks to Mr. Dougherty.

We’d better go. We don’t want to miss the plane.

-You ready? -Mm-hmm.

[woman] Attention, please. Flight 502 now loading at Gate 5.

Do you want this loaded on board, sir?

No, I’ll take it with me, thank you.

Flight 106 is leaving in a few minutes

-Enjoy your trip. -Thank you.

[woman] Attention, please.

Flight 106 now departing at Gate 7. Immediate departure.

Last call for Flight 106, now leaving immediately at Gate 7.

-Good Evening. How are you? -[woman] All aboard.

Good evening.

I’m sorry, sir. No luggage over the seats. I’ll put it in the back.

-Oh, no, no. -It’ll be safe there.

I-I’ll just hang on to it, if you don’t mind.

Excited?

I don’t think I’ll sleep a wink tonight.

Plenty of time for that.

In a few hours we’ll be in Hawaii,

I’m glad they made it a state.

It means we don’t have to go through customs.

That was clever.

I’m terribly sorry, sir, but this is in the way.

I’ll put it in the back for you.

Oh! But, Miss...

You worry too much.

Yes, I suppose I do.

Why don’t you just relax?

Now, once we get to Hawaii, I’m going to make you lie

in the sun for a week.

[plane engine starting]

It won’t be long now.

Right on schedule.

That’s funny. The motors are stopping.

Don’t tell me there’s going to be a delay.

[woman] Ladies and gentlemen, this is the stewardess.

Due to some slight mechanical difficulty

we’ll be unable to take off on schedule.

Oh, no.

Why does something like this always have to happen?

Will you please leave the plane by the rear door

and go to the waiting room

until further notice? Thank you.

We’ll probably be grounded for hours.

Will you be all right?

What can we do?

[chattering]

I’m sorry. It’ll be just a few minutes.

Just a few minutes delay.

[woman] Isn’t this terrible?

Sir, it’ll be just a few minutes, sir.

Watch your step, please.

[plane engine humming]

[woman] Attention, please. Flight 101 now arriving at Gate 10.

Gate 5.

How long is Flight 106 gonna be delayed?

We don’t know, sir. That’s hard to say.

But it’s been half an hour already. What’s the problem?

Just a few mechanical difficulties, sir. Nothing serious.

[woman] Attention, please. Flight 101 now arriving at Gate 10.

Where have you been?

I was out on the observation deck,

and I saw policemen getting on the plane.

-Policemen? -Two of them,

and some other men as well.

Oh, Miles, you don’t think they found out anything, do you?

Impossible.

Now, what’s happening with Flight 106?

I told you, sir. Just some minor difficulty.

Well, I don’t believe it. What’s happening? What is it?

-Really, sir, if you’re-- -Don’t "Really, sir" me!

There are policemen on that plane. Now, why?

Do you want me to go to your superior?

All right, sir. I’ll tell you.

We got a crank phone call.

It happens every once in a while.

Something about a bomb on the plane.

A bomb?

There’s no truth to it, of course.

But they have to check.

As soon as they’re finished, you’ll be taking off.

-Just a bomb, huh? -Yes, sir.

Well, thanks for telling me.

How much longer will it take them?

-Another 10, 15 minutes. -Ah-ha.

They have to search the luggage.

-Search the luggage? -Yes, sir.

Just a normal precaution.

Mr. Cheever?

Police.

We’d like to ask you a few questions.

Hello, Trade Winds Airlines?

I called you before

about that bomb on Flight 106.

Well, there isn’t any bomb.

Never mind who this is.

Just tell them it was a joke.

It was all a joke.

In all my years of employment,

I have never missed a show,

nor been late for a performance.

I occasionally step out for a breath of air

during the commercial.

But there are limits to what even a company man can endure.

This unmatched record of loyalty

has so moved my sponsor,

that he has granted me the rest of the evening off.

This struck him as the ideal gift,

being both, appropriate and cheap.

In my place, after the commercial,

you will see a better film,

taken when I first joined the firm.

I am certain you will find it interesting.

Oh, by the way,

Mr. Cheever had the last laugh at his wife’s expense,

for she was subsequently prosecuted for creating a bomb scare.

That is all for this evening,

until next week, at the same time,

goodnight.