Original subtitles

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

And welcome to another skull session.

I think we have at last conceived

the perfect football play.

If you have ten men to do your blocking

and follow this plan

you should have no trouble reaching the refreshments stand

at half time.

If you haven’t ten men you can do just as well

using two elderly ladies armed with hat pins.

Tonight’s training form is called "The Big Score."

But first, the head coach wishes to give you

a one minute pep talk.

[laughing] Good night, Larry.

[laughter]

Now you do exactly as Dora tells you.

Oh, he will, Mr. Fellowes.

-Goodnight, Daddy. -Goodnight, son.

Now, off to bed with you and Dora will come in and read.

[chuckles]

Our Larry’s become very fond of you, Dora.

You seem to be his favorite babysitter.

He does miss his mother so much.

Well, I won’t be late tonight but, uh--

Oh, in case of emergency I left my number on the pad that way you can reach me.

Righterooni, Mr. Fellowes.

-See you later, Dora. -Righterooni.

[laughs]

[Larry] Dora! Dora!

Coming!

Now, if you wanna grow up to be a big man like your father

you gotta sleep, Larry.

Why don’t you tell me a story?

Wouldn’t you rather look at television?

-Bang! Bang! -Righterooni.

Cops and cowboys.

I love you.

I love you, too.

[laughs]

[doorbell rings]

[TV show music]

[laughter]

[man] Oh, baby, what a pad!

Wall to wall money.

I dig it, hon, I dig it.

Hey, Arne, come on, get something goin’, will ya?

Somethin’ crazy, somethin’ hot.

[laughs]

[swing music playing]

Hey, Gino! Wake up, boy!

Do you wanna wake up the kid, you stupid jerk?

Hey, cool it, man, cool it.

The kid’s up watching television.

[Arne] Yeah, you see. You see, always cooling everything, huh?

Kid can hear, he can see.

You want him hearing things?

His brain is probably twice yours.

Gino’s right, keep it cool tonight, Arne.

Little Larry likes to choose his own lullabies.

What will you have, dear people?

Gin.

Hey! Mike!

Give me a beer. No head.

For you, Dumbo, it figures.

A bit of brandy for me, you now, old boy.

Strictly neat.

Gino, my dear boy, name your poison.

-Who gets loaded on a job? -Hey, we got time to swing, man!

-Gino, Gino, we’re swingin’, man, we’re swingin’. -Yeah.

Yeah, Mr. Fellowes won’t be back for a couple of hours yet.

Look, let’s move, babe, where’s the dough, where’s the loot?

Hey, you hurt!

Hey, no paws, man.

Or there’s trouble.

Do you want trouble, laughing boy?

Yeah, why not!

Hey, stop it!

Gino’s right.

I got a job set up here, not a ball.

Come on.

Come on.

Hey, look at this!

You stupid dumb!

Can’t you see has his initials on it?

F-H-F?

F. Hubert Fellowes?

Do you wanna cop this?

Why not just take a written confession right down to the DA personally?

Oh, stop yakking and follow me, treasure hunters.

[laughing]

Hey, look at this!

So, Mr. Fellowes is a sportsman.

[imitating gunshot]

Do you guys know the difference between punks like us

and the big guys on top?

Fat bank accounts and a private heater.

We’re not old enough to get gun permits.

Now I don’t need one.

Hey, Gino. It’s in here.

[laughing]

Here it is. Let’s go.

[laughing]

[gunshots]

Dora, what’s that?

It was just little Larry listening to television.

[shushing]

-[horse trotting] -[TV switches off]

[whispering] He’s asleep.

Well, let’s go.

[shushing]

Hey, hey. How do we know there’s loot in the box?

Let’s bust it open now.

We can’t open it here, we got the tools in the car.

Now, we open it on the way home. Let’s go!

[door closing]

Hi, Mr. Fellowes. You, you came back so soon.

Who are these boys?

Oh, they’re just friends of mine.

They’re keeping me company.

What are you doing with that?

[Gino] What?

You know what, the box. Give it to me.

You want it?

Take it.

All right. Now get out. You too, Dora.

-Hey, what’d she do? -It was their idea, Mr. Fellowes.

You little sneak! Get out, all of you!

Oh, wait a minute!

You’ve got no right to talk to her like that.

Don’t tell me what I should say!

[loud thud]

That was a mistake, Mr. Suntan.

Don’t shoot, Gino.

It’ll bring the cops.

Yeah.

You little punks!

[laughs]

You’re dumb, Mr. Suntan.

I mean...

Walking into a private party like this.

Yeah. [laughs]

Mike.

Give it to him.

Mike!

[groans]

Let’s go.

[Arne] Yeah. Hey, let’s get out of here.

Come on, baby, let’s go.

A trusted babysitter can’t leave little Larry.

Besides, I gotta call the police.

I gotta have a good story ready for ’em.

That’s right, baby, tell ’em.

Hey, idiot, you forgot your jacket!

Oh, please, can I go home?

Your folks are coming right over, Dora. They’re on their way now.

I know how much of an ordeal this has been for you.

But, little Larry, who’s gonna take care of little Larry?

Oh, Larry will be all right, we’ve got a woman coming over to take care of him.

Are you going to arrest me as a material witness or something?

Of course not, honey.

It’s just that I thought you’d wanna help us find whoever mu--

I mean...

Well, I do wanna help you.

But I already told you everything I know.

I was sitting in the nursery with little Larry

when Mr. Fellowes came home.

He told me he’d just forgotten something so...

I went back to sit with Larry.

About five minutes later the door chime sounded

a-and I heard men’s voices but I couldn’t hear what they were saying.

And then, suddenly, somebody yelled

and the door slammed and I heard a car drive off.

And I went out to see what had happened

and... I saw Mr. Fellowes...

Did you see what kind of a car it was?

No.

I was too scared to do anything.

And you didn’t see who did it?

[mouthing] No.

Could you tell how many they were?

That is, by their voices.

Well...

I couldn’t be sure but...

Well it, it sounded like they were two other people besides

Mr. Fellowes.

Oh, please, could I have a glass of water?

Sure.

[newscaster] And now, for the local news.

Two workmen were injured on a construction job at Bleakman Street

when a girder accidentally fell.

The condition of both men is said to be serious.

Traffic on Richmond Road is congested due to unusually heavy traffic.

-[giggles] -It’s advised to take alternate routes.

Weather calls for bright sunshine tomorrow,

winds around 10 miles per hour--

Hey! I wanna get some music.

Well, get music then!

We’ve got nothing from Mr. Newspeak.

All about a lousy war, spaceman, golf. Who needs it?

Do you wanna get high blood pressure, Gino?

Take it easy.

Easy, she says.

We’ve been here all the time and we hear nothing about Mr. Fellowes.

Look at $32,000.

Look at 1,000, 100, 500...

It’s crazy!

So what, Gino? We got it made, man!

Dora’s story will hold.

-It’s a breeze, let’s fly! -[Arne] Yeah, man!

In clover, up to here.

-The phone, Jives. -Oh, yes, sir.

Hello, Interworld Lines? I’d like to charter a plane reservation if you please.

-[laughter] -Hey, knock it off, clown!

What’s the matter with this guy?

We got it made, Gino.

We could be wearing mink bibs.

Instead, I’m starving without beer in this flytrap.

Lookit.

Forty-two thousand gees and five bean tins.

We could be heading out in our gold-plated rig and instead, we fry.

This dump’s so bad even the bugs left.

Hey, shut up, man!

You dumb head! I’ve got worries on my own.

I’m dumb?

Here we break into Fort Knox by mistake,

this keeps making like a bum and I’m dumb.

[Gino] It bugs me.

-[jazz music on the radio] -What of a guy would leave

that amount of money lying around lose?

He moved into town about a year ago.

All anybody knows about him is that he was a fat cat with plenty of cash.

If we sit tight, we can come out of this smelling like roses.

That’s if we’re smart. But if we’re dumb, we’ve had it.

We killed that guy, remember?

That’s 99 years or the chair.

Sure, we’ve got all this loot.

But what are we out there, Mike? Punks!

Try it! Here. Take a little one,

take a hundred dollar bill and say, get me a case of beer.

Punk like you flashes so much money, you know what you’d get?

You get cops!

Cops and a murder rep.

But what do we do, Gino?

We wait.

Wait until the heat’s off a little.

I’ll find a fence and then we’ll unload the loot.

That’ll be less money to the dollar but...

It’ll be small stuff we can spend.

Let’s get going! Let’s go!

Listen, man!

We don’t leave that loot alone, not for one minute!

If we go out, we go out in pairs.

Except you, Dora. You keep on babysitting and going to school.

The rest of us stay right here.

I’ve been working a lifetime to get out of this punk class.

I got big time loot now.

I’m going up.

Yeah, I’m breaking out.

I’m finding a new song.

Give me a cigarette.

Oh, gee, thanks, screamer.

Why’d you let Mike and Arne go out? I wouldn’t trust them.

I have to, maybe they can hear something.

Besides, I gotta think.

They’re so dumb.

Yeah.

Mike’s such a punky jerk.

You know? I’ve had it with him.

But you got it, Gino.

You and me, we could really fly.

You mean take the money?

Let’s say we do.

Mike cries to the cops and we’re dead.

No. We leave the creeps their cut and swing off together.

You need me, Gino.

You’re smart but I’m educated.

I can look good, get in the right places.

Yeah, later on you drop me like that, like with Mike.

-[laughs] -No.

No real fizz with Mike. No chemistry.

Like with you.

I feel like a statue with Mike.

You don’t look like a statue with Mike.

I was thinking of you all the time.

[laughs]

You know, baby? You can put that on and off like a faucet.

I like it when it’s on.

Do you want a ventilated head?

OK, you’re the boss, man.

But don’t go raiding my preserves, you dig?

This’s all staked out for me.

Oh, keep it, keep it!

Just tell me where you got the money to buy that brew!

How!

We mooched dough up an old buddy of Arne.

Guy from out of town.

Did you heist that brew?

Look, an old buddy of Arne’s.

Look, man, if you heisted that brew, you’re gonna have a fat lip.

Fatter than your head!

Yeah, boss.

You can take a turn out anytime you want, huh?

That’s right.

I’m gonna go get a radio with a police band.

I gotta find out why that Newspeak doesn’t talk about.

Why they haven’t said anything.

A radio with a police band?

Man, what are you gonna use for bread?

I’m gonna take a hundred.

Then I’m gonna go see a fence.

-What fence? -Ozzie.

-Ozzie who? -Just Ozzie.

He runs a discount store.

He sells everything, from clawhammers to thousand dollar TV sets.

And then, down in the basement, he sells the hot stuff.

He’s part of a big operation.

Gee, how do you get onto a guy like that?

Well, I sold him some stuff. Going up you gotta know the right people.

Right now, it’s Ozzie.

Yeah, you gonna go way up, Gino.

That’s right, and you know something?

When I get to where I’m going, I’m gonna be able to buy and sell Ozzie.

And you two better be here when I get back.

With the money.

What about me?

Yeah. What about you?

Tell Ozzie I want to see him.

Over there, punk.

-I don’t see him. -The door, punk.

Shove off.

I’m buying this time, not selling.

I got a fat deal, if he wants it, he better make a quick appointment.

It looks real.

What else?

Come with me.

Ozzie, this kid wants to talk to you.

Long time no see, Ozzie. How’s business?

Expanding. So don’t waste my time with heisted peanuts.

Oh, Gino isn’t selling these days, he’s buying.

[Ozzie] What are you buying?

I want a radio. The best. With a police band.

What are you using for money, Gino?

Money. Plenty more where this one came from.

Got a hot deal for you.

I want the radio now, though.

What’s the matter, kid? You’ve never seen one of these before?

Sure, sure. Give me a light, will you?

Thanks.

Now, where’s the radio?

Here you are, punk.

Latest model.

Thanks.

[laughter]

You stole the guy’s lighter.

So what? We only got some beer.

You stole it! Then you have to sell it to the lousy fence!

That ties us to the killing.

We could’ve gotten rid of that money.

But the guy’s lighter’s got his initials on it.

Oh, you’re too dumb to live.

-Watch it, Gino! -[thud]

Don’t worry about them, leave the creeps.

We’re all in on it, right?

So, if they go to the cops, they talk themselves right into the electric chair.

[laughs] Yeah. Come on, take it all!

Me, I was happy before and then I had beer, chicks...

Go. Bye-bye, cats.

Oh, come on, baby.

Must be a cop car. Still on our tail?

He’s coming up, coming up fast.

Well, fasten your lifebelt, baby, I put beef under this hood.

We’ve got a hot iron here!

Goodbye, cops!

Lose ’em, Gino! Go, screamer, go!

-Gino! -Get out!

Most of it’s here, Murphy, like I figured.

Move, punks.

You got the money. What do you want with us?

[Ozzie] Over there.

But you got the money.

Nobody, nobody, kid, takes Syndicate money.

What are you talking about Syndicate money?

We took that from Mr. Fellowes’ house.

Mr. Fellowes was our boss.

[Ozzie] Right, Murphy?

[Murphy] That’s right.

And we don’t like what you kids did to our boss, do we, Murphy?

We don’t like it. Move!

Wh-What are you going to do with us?

[Ozzie] What do you think? Punks.

And that concludes tonight’s play, "The Big Score."

However, while Ozzie and his friends appear to be

a hit on point in our final quarter,

it was the police who finally won the game.

Mike, Arne, Ozzie, and Murphy

have all been benched for 20 to 30 years.

In case you’ve been puzzled by this athletic theme,

I should explain.

This portion of the program was originally prepared for

a story about college football.

Of course, we soon discovered that football is hardly a suitable subject

for television, there’s far too much violence.

Then, there’s a matter of athletic scholarships

and quite a bit of bribery

and all and all we felt the story put American youth

in much too bad a light.

For this reason only,

we substituted tonight’s tale of juvenile delinquency.

And now, for that part of the program

for which I wish there were a substitute,

after which I shall return.

How do you do?

I’m Alfred Hitchcock.

I thought you might have forgotten during my absence.

This concludes tonight’s training session.

We should return next week,

when I shall lecture on the art of point-shaving

and game throwing.

Until then, goodnight.