All language subtitles for Alfred.Hitchcock.Presents.S07E14.Bad.Actor.1080p.PCOK.WEBRip.AAC.2.0.H.265.-EDGE2020_track3_[eng]

Good evening,
before we begin our play

I would like to demonstrate
the training method

we use here,
at the Hitchcock Actor’s Studio.

You see,
we give the students symbols,

or certain images to assist them

in portraying character.

Because of the type
of character

our Miss Schmells
was to portray,

we suggested that she think
of herself

as a tree.

I think she projected
very well.

Thank you, Miss Schmells.

Our next student,
Mr. Blackwood,

was asked to portray a large

jolly captain of industry,
and to help him,

we suggested that he think
of himself as an elephant.

Excellent.

In all honesty,

I must admit that Mr. Blackwood

has been with us longer
than Miss Schmells.

And now, after this brief
acting demonstration,

we bring you tonight’s story

proceeded
by tonight’s commercial.

-Thank you, Mr. Blackwood.
-[hoofs]

That will be all,
Mr. Blackwood.

I said that will be all,
Mr. Blackwood!

Mr. Blackwood!

-[knocking on the door]
-[jazz music]

[man] Bart... Bart,
are you there?

[knocks on the door]

Hey, Bart!
Open up, it’s me, Ed.

[fidgeting with doorknob]

Hey, Bart.

Oh, brother.

Not again.

I’ve just about had it.

[music stops]

Bart,

come on, Bart, wake up.
Bart!

[sighs]

Hey! Cut it out!

[exhales]

What is this?
The Johnstown flood?

Looks like a disaster
area to me.

Well, I had a little, uh...

bash up here last night,
I was

entertaining a couple
of old buddies.

So I see.

You won’t tell Marge,
will you?

I’m your agent,
not your bodyguard.

Sure, my agent.

So, what do you want?
10% of my hangover?

All I want is you

dressed and sober
for that audition.

Audition?

So help me, Ed.
It went clean out of my mind.

And I’ve been out of my skull
trying to get hold of you.

[grunts]

So, how did you get in?

Marge gave me her key.

-Good girl.
-Yeah?

Why don’t you marry her?

About the audition, uh,

-how much time we got, Ed?
-We’re an hour late already!

I’ll shave and shower
in ten minutes.

You sure you feel all right?

There’s nothing wrong with me
a good embalmer couldn’t fix.

Bart, listen up. An audition
with Wellman is important.

Believe me, you can use
a part in a hit play.

Yeah, I know it.
My landlord told me.

Don’t worry, pal.
We’ll be sitting

in Wellman’s lap
in half an hour.

Yes, Mr. Robinson,
I do realize

you’ve called several times.

But you must understand,
he’s terribly busy.

45 minutes we’ve been hanging.

-Where’s the action?
-Relax, baby.

You kept him waiting,
he keeps you waiting.

-You wanna bet?
-...209.

Excuse me, Cleopatra.

Thought I heard
your boss calling.

Oh, he didn’t ring.

Well, of course not,
he’s too impatient,

just can’t wait to see
his old friend Bart Collins

all the way
from Hollywood. [laughs]

But he doesn’t like
to be disturbed.

-Oh,sure, he does.
Now you go ahead...
-[man] ...Can see my people.

Yes sir, I certainly do.

Bart, boy! Good to see you!

-Hello, Ed.
-Mr. Wellman.

Please forgive us,
I’m sorry we were late.

You both know Jerry Lane,
don’t you?

Know him, Jerry was the life
of my party last night,

weren’t you, Jer?

Oh, this guy drinks straight
orange juice like it was water,

-He’s wild. [laughs]
-Well, many thanks, Mr. Wellman.

I’ll contact
your agent tomorrow.

-It was nice reading, Jerry.
-Thank you sir.

Very nice.

That boy’s an interesting actor.

Too bad there isn’t
something in the play for him.

Well, I’m not so sure.

-Well there’s only
one part open.
-That’s right.

The lead, my part.
Now, wait a minute...

Now, hold it, Bart.
You’ll get your chance.

Mr. Wellman, this boy
went to the expense

of flying all the way back
from California,

just to audition for you.

I appreciate that, Ed.

And I want very much
to hear him.

But that doesn’t mean
I can’t consider other actors.

Let’s go inside, shall we?

Bart, come on.

[chattering]

I think you’ve had enough.

Yeah, I’ve had it all right,
all the way up to here.

[drums]

Let’s face it, Marge,
things are getting rough.

I bombed on the television.
I goofed on the movie,

and now I’m fouling up
on the play.

Come on, Bart.
Is not the end of the world.

Now, you’ll get another chance.

I had my chance today,

until Jerry Lane
got into the act.

But didn’t you tell me
Wellman hasn’t decided yet?

And Jerry has a perfect right
to try, he’s a good actor.

What are you?
His lawyer or something?

[drums]

Hey, wait a minute.

Don’t tell me that you and ol’
Jerry have been swinging

while I’ve been out
on the coast.

[huffs]
Of course not.

We just had
a few dates together.

-Fun things.
-Fun things?

Huh? you and ol’ Jerr-o?

Hey, Lady Chatterley, why don’t
you give us another jolt, huh?

Not for me, thank you.
Please, Bart.

Yeah, well I’m celebrating.

There’s nothing
to celebrate, yet.

Oh, yes there is, chick.

[sneers]
There’s lots to celebrate.

Here’s to you,
and my good friend Jerry Lane.

He’s just the guy for the part.

Thank you, Lolita. Hey,
why don’t you drop back after

you knock off
and maybe we can work out...

a fun thing together, huh?

Hello, Bart.

-Hello, creep.
-Mind if we, uh, sit down?

I don’t care if you drop dead.

I, uh, I wanna explain
about the audition.

You mentioned the part
last night, but I never

gave it another thought,
and this morning,

my agent called,
and said he’d set up an audition

with Wellman.
That’s how it happened.

Sure.

Say, uh,
not to change the subject

but you owe me ten bucks.

-Ten bucks?
-Yeah, don’t you remember

the other night at the party

you borrowed it
for the dice game?

Oh, yeah.
And I got totaled.

Sorry, chum.
No bread today.

-[drums]
-[chattering]

Come on, let’s get outta here.
Let’s go some place

where it’s quiet.

We’ll go to my place.

-[drums]
- Can’t stand these crazy drums.

[orchestra music]

[Bart drumming]

-[music stops]
-[Bart drumming]

Come on, Bart. Knock it off.

Hey, Bart!

What’s the matter?
Don’t you dig the classics?

It’s Beethoven’s Fifth.

-And speaking of fifths...
-Hey, c’mon, lay off, Bart.

What’s the matter? Don’t you
think I’m couth enough?

You see these ’cyclopedias?

Marge gave ’em to me
for my birthday last year.

Never opened.

I don’t have to, because
I got it all right up here.

[Jerry]
Marge is a wonderful girl.

Yeah, she’s a real swinger.

[sighs]

When I got back last week,
she gave me that.

It’s the best ice bucket
in the world.

That’s what I call
a really useful gift.

"Alas, poor Yorick!

I knew him, Horatio.

A fellow of infinite jest!"

Come on, Bart.
Let’s cut out all this jazz--

What’s the matter? Don’t you
appreciate all my acting?

What do you know
about acting anyway?

I’m learning.

Learning what? How to steal
somebody else’s part?

Now, look,
let’s not start that again.

I told you it was my agent
who sent me up there.

Look, you had no right
to read for Wellman,

because you’re rotten actor,
Jerry... you’re rotten!

-Look who’s talking!
-Yeah,

well, at least I know
what I’m doing.

I live my roles!

That’s the big secret,
you gotta feel the part!

With all that booze floating
in you

you’re too numb
to feel anything.

Yeah-- That’s a lie.
Look, you’ve seen my pictures,

you know that I can project.

Sure, so do the critics.
That’s why you’re here.

I’m here because I’m right
for that part. Wellman knows it.

You couldn’t play that part
in a million years.

Yeah? Why not?

Because you haven’t got
the guts.

It takes guts,
feeling, and emotion.

Now, listen Jerry.
This, uh,

this character’s got a temper,
hasn’t he?

-Huh?
-I visualize him as

an emotional type, yes.

Well, never mind the...
never mind the visualize bit,

you gotta live it.

Now, take the scene
where he flips his wig.

You mean the one where he chokes
his father-in-law?

Yeah, he really means it.
He wants to strangle him.

-Here, let me show you.
-I’m not up on the lines.

-Bart, come on.
-Who needs the lines?

It’s the feeling that counts.
You play for real.

You wanna show hate,
then you think hate.

That’s-That’s the secret.

-Here, I’ll demonstrate you.
-Jesus!

Now I’m not thinking
about any lines now.

-Because I’ve got the real hate.
-Hey, come on! Let go!

Now you feel it Jerry?
The real hate?

-Come on.
-Not because you drink
your orange juice

just like a good boy,

and you wake up young and fresh
for the audition!

Because you’re taking my part,
Jerry, my last chance!

Huh?

’Cause I hate you, Jerry.
You feel it, Jerry?

You feel it?

Jerry?

Jerry?

Jerry?

Jerry?

-[knocking on the door]
-Mr. Collins?

Maid service, Mr. Collins.

-I don’t need you, go away.
-But it’s Friday.

Well, so let it go
until Monday.

Don’t you even want
your beds made

and fresh towels
for the bathroom?

Don’t worry about the bathroom!
I’ll clean up the mess

in there myself!

[phone rings]

[phone rings]

Hello? Oh, yeah, Marge,

I know you couldn’t reach me.
I had the phone shut off.

I told you I’ll be busy
for a couple of days.

Maybe I could see you
this afternoon.

Where are you now?

Downstairs in the lobby?

Now, Marge, wait... wait!

[knocks on the door]

Bart?

Bart, are you there?

-[running water]
-Bart?

Bart?

-[knocking on the door]
-Bart?

-Bart?
-Just a minute!

Sorry, I was, uh, just...

straightening up.

Sure you weren’t hiding
another woman?

Now where would I hide
anyone around here?

Well, you managed to hide
yourself pretty good.

Hello, Ed.
I didn’t expect to see you.

He came with me.

What gives here?
Are you two ganging up on me?

I couldn’t reach you by phone,
so I thought of get in touch

-through Marge.
-Hey! Where you going?

Powder my nose,
if that’s all right with you.

Not in there.

Why not?

Bart, have you got
somebody hidden?

Nobody, go ahead.

Thanks.

Hey, level with me.

What’s been happening?

I’ve just been straightening
out, that’s all. [sighs]

By straightening out,
you mean, uh...

getting stiff?

No, Ed, that’s finished.
I’ve sworn off.

Well, fine.

That’s the only thing
I was worried about.

Bart, I’ve got
some good news for you.

Let me tell him.

Wellman’s changed
his mind, darling,
he’s giving you the part.

We’re gonna celebrate.

Thank you, it’s heavy.

It’s full of ice cubes.

Bart, you don’t seem too excited
by the news.

No, I am. I am, I’m...

just stunned, sort of.

[knocks on the door]

This Grand Central Station?

Lieutenant Gunderson.
Special detail.

I’d like to talk to you,
for a moment.

Sure, come in.

Oh, didn’t realize
you had company.

It’s quite all right,
lieutenant. This is, uh,

my fiancé, Miss Ridgeway...

and my... agent Ed Bolling.

-Lieutenant.
-Hot day, isn’t it?

Uh, I’ll tell you why I’m here.

We’re checking up on
a friend of yours,

named Jerry Lane.

[Marge] Jerry?
What’s the matter?

Is he in trouble?

Well, that’s just it, miss.
We don’t really know.

He seems to have drop
out of sight,

since last Thursday evening.

His agent’s asked us
to try to locate him.

Well, I wish we could
help you, lieutenant.

Well, maybe you can.

According to reports,
you were the last person

he was seen with.

[sighs]
Me?

Thursday evening,
at the Empty Room Café.

You and he left together
at around 11 o’clock.

That’s right.

Poor guy was so loaded,
I had to help him into a cab.

Go on.

That’s all. He climbed
into a cab, and I came home.

You sure Jerry Lane
didn’t come home with you?

-Why should he?
-Now, you tell me.

I have the night clerk’s word
for it.

He saw you and another man
coming downstairs

around midnight last Thursday.

The other man answers
Jerry Lane’s description,

but nobody seen Lane come out.

Well, in that case, lieutenant,
he still must be here.

Why don’t you take
a look around?

Well, thanks.
If you don’t mind.

Be my guest.

Bedroom through the alcove.

The bath, and the kitchen.

Bart, Jerry wasn’t up here,
was he?

Of course not.

Oh, I’ve been so worried
about you lately I just

don’t know what to think.

Well, now you know.
I was fighting off

the temptation
of that demon rum.

Just as simple as that.

I’m glad!

Funny, isn’t it?

Here I spent all my hard
earned money

to buy you this beautiful
ice bucket and then

you swear off drinking.

-Maybe I better take
it home with me.
-No!

I was only kidding.

I want it
for sentimental reasons.

-Bart, is something wrong?
-Bart,

I’m worried about Jerry.

Where do you think
he disappeared to?

Well, there doesn’t seem to be
anything here,

thanks for letting me
look around.

All right, any time, lieutenant.

Guess I’ll have to have another
talk with that night clerk.

Don’t lean on him too much,
you know, we all make mistakes.

-Hm.
-Would you care for a drink

before you go, lieutenant?
We’re celebrating getting a job.

Yeah, well, thanks.
But I’m on duty.

You see?
Nobody wants a drink.

Well, I do.

Bart, If you’ve really
sworn off,

you’ll just have to get used
to watching other people drink.

Sure you won’t change
your mind, lieutenant?

After all, it is a celebration.

[Ed]
Just one, lieutenant.

Well, maybe I will have
a glass of ice water.

If that isn’t too much trouble.

Oh, what are you doing?

Just getting some ice,
for the lieutenant.

Well, I’ll get some
ice cubes out of
the refrigerator.

But darling, don’t you remember
you told me this was full of--

I told you to keep
your hands off!

[drops lid]

How did you dispose
of the rest of the body?

Mr. Blackwood, Mr. Blackwood,

this is most upsetting.

Especially to Miss Schmells.

He had a date to take her
to dinner after class.

Perhaps you should give me
another minute.

Mr. Blackwood...

Next week, we shall be back
with another story.

As for this incident,

I have become
philosophical about it.

After all,
we may have lost a student,

but we have gained a mascot.

Goodnight.