All language subtitles for Alfred.Hitchcock.Presents.S07E01.The.Hatbox.1080p.PCOK.WEBRip.AAC.2.0.H.265.-EDGE2020_track3_[eng]

Good evening, students.

I have always felt
that night school had
a distinct advantage.

People may not be able to learn
more at night than in the day,

but what they do learn
is infinitely more interesting.

Tonight’s subject is phrenology.
Miss Fobbs?

Phrenology is a system
of psychology

based on the belief
that the size and shape

of the surface of certain
regions of the body

have a relation to the function
performed within that region.

Uh, pull down the chart,
please.

Thank you.

This area, number six,

is referred to by doctors
and phrenologists as
the forehead.

This is the worry center.

In the case
of this individual,

his forehead seems
to have slipped down

over his eyes.

I’m sure many of you know
that feeling.

[bell ringing]

Oh, dear, it’s time for you
to move on to the next class.

You better hurry as you have
just one minute to make
the change.

During that minute
you will hear the voice
of the head of this institution

urging you on to greater
and greater achievement.

Mr. Hatch!

-Drop it! Drop it this second.
-You’re hurting me, professor.

Drop it, I said!

You’re excused, Mr. Hatch.
You don’t have to complete
the examination.

You will sit there
while the others finish up,

and you will remain after class.
Understand?

-Gosh, professor.
-Never mind.

[bell rings]

[professor]
All right, time’s up.

Class dismissed.

Come up here, Mr. Hatch.

Why do you cheat?

Oh, I don’t cheat,
professor.

Not all the time.

I just happened to be caught
unprepared this time,
that’s all.

You mean you got caught,
period.

I hate cheats and liars,
Hatch.

There’s no place for them
at the University.

Oh, professor, y-you can’t!

Don’t tell me what I can
or can’t.

[professor]
How many other examinations

have you been cribbing?

None, I swear it.

I wonder if the dean
would believe that.

Please, professor.

I won’t report you, Hatch,
not to the dean.

-Gee, that’s swell of you.
-Let me finish.

I won’t report you to the dean
because it’s too early
in the semester

to get a student
into serious trouble.

[professor] You’ll have plenty
of time to rectify your error
in the months ahead.

However, I don’t intend to let
your dishonesty go unnoticed.

I’m writing a letter
to your father tonight.

To my father? W-What for?

I find that I’m often
not as persuasive
as a parent can be.

So I intend to enlist some
support in your discipline.

Good afternoon.

Wait, professor,
you don’t understand,
I mean about my father,

about what he’s like.

I hope he’s very, very strict.

Well, hi, Perry.

Hi, Dan.

The old Jarvis report you?

That crumb.
I’d like to kick him
right in his baggy pants.

Rough, huh?

He says he’s gonna write
a letter to my old man.

-I can see the fireworks now.
-Oh, what the heck?

Everybody cribs
once in a while.

Well, I’ll bet even your pop
did when he was in school.

Well, maybe,
but he never got caught at it.

That’s the difference.

That crumb!
What’s he always
picking on me for?

What makes him
such a grouch anyway?

You know what they say
about him, Perry.

About what a terror
his wife is.

Man, he’s the original
hen-pecked husband.

You know that.

Yeah, I’ll bet
that’s what it is.

That old shrew he married
gives him a hard time,

and he takes it out on me.

And that’s why
he hates everybody,
on account of her.

Hey, say, remember last year
when she kicked him out
of the house

and he had to bunk
at the Reo Hotel?

Man, that was wild!

And how everybody razzed
him the next day at school?

I hope she really makes him
suffer tonight.

No such luck.
She’s not home.

She went off a couple of months
ago and hasn’t gotten back yet.

Well, that’s a drag.

Now there’s nothing
to look forward to,

except no more money
from home.

Oh, gosh, do you really think
your father’d do that?

He’s sure to do it.

So you can forget about
hitting me for bread, man,

’cause I won’t have any.

Say, Perry, maybe if you go
see the professor...

What good would that do?

[Dan] Well, you can tell him
you’re really sorry.

Well, you may have to crawl
a little and make
with the tears,

but what’s the difference?

That’s better than losing
all that money, right?

Well, anything’s better
than that.

[Dan] Oh, come on, go see
the old boy tonight.

Well, I can go with you
if you want me to.

-Well, I don’t know.
-Aw, come on, now.

Let’s go get a hamburger
and you can rehearse
your speech.

I’ll be your audience.

Oh, say, by the way, Perry.

Can you pick up the check?
I’m tapped out.

No, no, time, time.

Well, are you going in
or not?

Well, you know the old guy,
Dan,

he’d probably
just bawl me out again.

You’re chicken,
that’s what’s wrong with you.

No, that’s not it.

Well, think of the letter
he’s gonna write your father.

And all the money
you’re gonna be missing.

Yeah, you’re right.
Let’s go.

[Perry]
Well, he’s not there.

[Dan] He was there
a minute ago.

[door opening]

[door closes]

Did you see that?

See what? He was throwing
some junk away.

-In a box like that?
-So he’s neat.

[Perry] Come on,
let’s take a look at it.

-For what?
-Come on.

Well, it’s a hatbox.

[Perry]
Well, now, wait, wait.

-I just thought of something.
-Well, what?

You say his wife’s
been gone a long time?

Yeah, about six,
seven weeks, I think.

Well, you may think
that I’ve lost my marbles.

-Well, I do.
-No, I’m serious.

You know how that dame
treated him.

Well, w-what if--

I mean, isn’t it possible
that the old guy

finally got up
enough nerve...

to do something about her?

For Pete’s sake, Perry,
what’s eating you?

-You don’t think that--
-What do you mean?

It happens, doesn’t it?

I mean,
guys are always
knocking off their wives.

He just said
she was gonna visit her sister.

That doesn’t make it true.

-You don’t think that...
-We better open it.

Oh, no! I’m not touching
that--

Shh.

If you are trying to scare me,
you’ve succeeded.

You want to open that box,
go ahead, I’m not touching it.

-Go ahead, open it.
-OK.

[Perry]
It’s a hat.

[Perry]
Sure, it’s only a hat,
Lieutenant.

But it’s a brand new hat,
Look, the price tag’s still
on it.

OK, so it’s new.

-Then why did he throw it out?
-Maybe he didn’t like it.

Yeah, but I’ll bet
his wife did.

Only she’s not here to complain
about it, that’s the point.

Don’t you see,
Lieutenant Roman?

Professor Jarvis
threw it out

because he
didn’t want it anymore,

because he
didn’t need it anymore.

He’s screwy, lieutenant,
don’t listen--

Shut up, Dan.
Can’t you see?

He got rid of her somehow,
and now he’s getting rid

of her things,
little by little,

piece by piece.

-He wouldn’t have the guts.
-How do you know?

Look, he’s been pushed,
don’t forget, and pushed hard.

So he pushed back.

Well, the hat proves it.

And just how do you suggest
that professor did
this horrible deed?

And where did he put
the body?

Well, who knows?

Maybe he buried it,
maybe he burned it.

Listen , Lieutenant,
if anybody,

if anybody would know
about how to dispose of a body,

it would be
Professor Jarvis.

That’s his game,
that’s his business,
this biology stuff.

He’d probably dissolve her
in quicklime.

Well, I don’t know
about that.

And that crumb
was gonna write my father.

And all the time he’s a killer,
a murderer,

and he’s complaining about me.

Look, fellas, I appreciate
your interest--

B-But you don’t believe it.

I know you’re sore
at Professor Jarvis.

What, you think
that’s all it is?

Look, you don’t have to take
my word for anything.
Just ask around.

I mean, about what kind
of home life Jarvis
and his wife had.

Telling the truth,
I know that already.

I don’t think
there’s anybody in town
who doesn’t.

But bickering and quarrels
don’t always end up in murder.

Then where did
Mrs. Jarvis go?

We didn’t check
on her movements.
We had no reason to.

Maybe she went
to visit someplace.

As for the hat, maybe she told
Jarvis to get rid of it.

Maybe she changed her mind
about it.

OK, OK.

If it’ll make you feel
any better, I’ll find out
where she is.

Phyllis. Phyllis, you know
Professor Jarvis’ wife,
don’t you?

Any idea where she’s been
these past weeks?

Uh-huh.

Where?

Schuyler?

How do you know?

Yeah, thanks.

Look, will you
ring her up for me, please,

and call me back?

Phyllis has a cousin who cleans
for the Jarvises once a week.

She said the professor told her
that his wife had gone to visit

her sister,
Mrs. Beatty, in Schuyler.

-That’s his story.
-[telephone rings]

Hello, Mrs. Beatty,
I’m sorry to disturb you,

but I wonder if I could speak
with your sister Mrs. Jarvis.

It’s nothing important but--

Oh?

Well, no, I thought she was.

Yes, yes, I guess
I must’ve been mistaken.

No, no there are no messages.
Thank you.

What’s the matter?
Wasn’t she there?

No.

Her sister says she hasn’t
seen her in over a year.

Well, I guess
it wouldn’t hurt
just to talk to professor.

I want you two to stay
in the car and hold down
the conversation.

If I need you for anything,
I’ll call you.

Yes, sir.

[doorbell rings]

Why... Lieutenant Roman.

Good evening, Professor Jarvis.
May I come in?
I’d like to talk to you.

-It’s about your wife.
-My wife?

[lieutenant]
Yes, and this hatbox.

Do come in.

I don’t understand,
lieutenant.

What about my wife?

Well, just curiosity,
I guess.

It isn’t every day that someone
throws a brand new hat
into the trash can.

Very attractive hat, too.

You should see
some of the horrors
my wife brings home.

Would you mind telling me
how you got this hat?

For the moment, professor,
I’d rather not.

I threw this hat out
not more than an hour ago.

Since when do the police
investigate trash cans?

I’m afraid
that’s not the issue.

I’d appreciate it, professor,
if you’d tell me why you
threw it away.

Doesn’t your wife care
for it anymore?

It’s still new,
it’s got the price tag on it.

It is new.

But I just don’t want it
anymore.

Wouldn’t your wife
have some objection?

I’m beginning to detect
some strange implication

in all this, lieutenant.

Are you trying to accuse me
of something?

No, I’m just trying
to gather some facts.

For instance,

your wife is visiting
her sister in Schuyler.

Is that correct?

No, as a matter of fact,
that’s not correct.

[lieutenant] But you did tell
people that’s where she went.

I did.

It seemed simpler
than the truth.

And what was the truth,
professor?

[sigh]

I suppose it’s all right
to tell you.

I’m sure there must be
some professional ethic

to protect my confidence.

The truth is, lieutenant,

my wife and I have
frequent violent quarrels.

We had one about six weeks ago,
and as a result...

well,

she walked out on me.

And you haven’t heard
from her in all this time?

Not a word.

Have you tried to find her?

Really, lieutenant,
I wish you’d get to the point.

If you have an accusation
to make...

I’m not accusing you
of anything, professor.

Not even making
little guesses?

Tiny speculations?

You really think
I might have...

done away with Margaret.

I didn’t say that.

But that’s the idea,
isn’t it?

Well...

this is very stimulating.

You actually suspect murder,
don’t you?

You think I’m some kind
of Crippen or Landru.

Perhaps you think
I chopped her into a hamburger

and served
her at the school cafeteria.

I don’t find murder funny.

Then it is homicide
you’re thinking about.

If I have to, professor,
I’ll be blunt.

If there’s the slightest
possibility of a crime,

it’s my duty
to investigate it.

I’m not saying
you’re not telling the truth.

But you must admit
there’s sufficient motive.

And your recent actions.

I suppose I have been acting
like a criminal,

telling lies
about my wife’s whereabouts

and throwing out hats...

but tell me, how do you think I
might have done it, lieutenant?

Just from your
professional point of view.

Well, professor,
it strikes me as that
you’d be the ideal man

to dispose of a body
intelligently.

-Is that so?
-Yes, with your knowledge

of biology, anatomy,
body chemistry.

Oh, so you think
my special training
equips me for it.

Interesting.
All right, then.

How, for instance,
do you think I might have
covered up the crime?

Buried her, perhaps?

Sneaked out into the back yard
and buried her there?

I’m afraid my neighbors would
find the spectacle amusing.

You know, I don’t own a car

and couldn’t very well carry
Margaret on my back
to some remote spot.

She’s a rather large woman.

There are other ways.

Perhaps I burned the body?

I’m afraid that won’t do,
lieutenant.

My oil burner
wouldn’t accommodate
the poor woman.

Of course, if you
wanna search this house,
you have my permission.

There are other ways,
professor, quicklime,
for instance.

Quicklime?

I’m afraid you weren’t much
of a chemistry student,
lieutenant.

Let me clarify the point
for you.

Despite what you
may have heard,

quicklime won’t destroy
a body.

It actually preserves it.

Of course,
there are powerful acids.

However,
a truly corrosive acid...

would not only destroy
a body...

but its container,

such as a bathtub,
for instance.

No, lieutenant,
I might achieve partial
destruction,

but complete,
entire disintegration,

I’m afraid
I’m not that clever.

-Professor, I think
you’re laughing at me.
-Do you?

Yes, I suppose I am.

I didn’t intend to make
a light of it.

I suppose I’m just covering up
for my feeling of guilt.

Guilt?

Yes.

Do you think I haven’t wished
Margaret dead a thousand times,

wished that her nagging
tongue was stilled forever?

But the human animal
is a complicated beast.

And in my own
tormented fashion,
I endured our fights

and quarrels
for a very bewildering reason.

I still loved my wife.

Sounds strange, doesn’t it?

But it’s the truth.

I love her, lieutenant,
with all her faults.

And if she were to walk
in that door right now,

I’d beg her to stay.

And that’s why I can’t bear
to have anything around

that reminds me.

Professor Jarvis,
I want to apologize.

I don’t know why I
get set off like this, but...

seeing that hatbox...

then coming up with this
crazy theory,

well, I guess
I just got carried away.

If there’s anything
I can do to help,

any way I can help
in finding your wife...

Finding her won’t help.

It won’t make her
want to comeback.

Well, you can call on me
in case you need me.

Thank you.

Thank you very much,
lieutenant.

[lieutenant]
I’ll show myself out.

All right, you two, out.

What happened, lieutenant?
What did you find out?

Found out something.

Found out not to listen
to a couple of stupid kids.

Well, what happened?

The next time you guys
decide to rob a trash can,

don’t let me know about it.

[car leaving]

Goodnight, Margaret.

and anti-eggheadery,

we thought it would be wise
to show the other side
of the picture,

that there are professors
who outside the classroom

can be original and inventive

and who lead interesting
eventful lives.

In short, the sum of them
are just like you and I.

Our lecture continues
after this brief footnote.

As it must to all men,

the law caught up
with Professor Jarvis.

Thus ironically,
his wife Margaret again
had the last word.

Which is what I’m having now.

Until next week,
then, goodnight.