Original subtitles

Good evening, fellow creatures.

This evening we are making a daring experiment.

We shall present a blank screen

and let your imagination fill in the picture.

Since I have no idea of what you are thinking,

I have no idea what you are seeing.

I understand a good many men watch our show.

Of course I’m sure their wives occasionally,

peak in from the kitchen.

But when they see the show hasn’t begun,

they return to their work.

I’m afraid our experiment may be getting out of hand.

I should ask our sponsor to fill the screen

with his own wholesome untroubled thoughts.

This is specially designed for those of you

with nothing at all on your mind.

[jazz music playing]

A man in a chair all by himself on New Year’s Eve?

Do you have any suggestions?

I believe in two fisted drinking,

one in each hand, here.

You take one.

Thank you.

Is... this... [strums guitar]

...the best you can do?

Seems to me a girl would be more fun right now.

Oh, she would, she would.

But I got a wife sitting up there.

[guitar playing]

[man] * In Scarlet town where I was born *

* There was a fair maid dwelling *

* Made every youth cried well away *

* For her name was Barbara Allen *

* All in the merry month of May *

[man keeps singing]

I just love to hear Bish sing.

I guess that’s why I married him.

-What’s the name of that song? -"Barbara Allen."

-Ken, how about a refill? -Oh, sure, doc.

-I’ll get it for you. -[Bob sighs]

Bob, it isn’t that often

we can get you and Della out to parties.

Oh, you leave him alone. He’s having a good time.

There are going to be no babies born tonight.

-And so far as we know. -[laughter]

Do not be too sure.

-Spoilsport. -Hey, listen,

isn’t anybody going to try my goulash?

I’ve been chained to a hot stove all day.

I bet Bob would like it better than he does mine.

-You want some? -[Della] Yeah.

[Bish keeps singing]

-Jackie? -Huh?

How about trying some of Ken’s goulash?

Oh, yeah. Sure.

You know, I never met Bish Darby before.

He certainly seems to be in love with the sound

-of his own voice. Doesn’t he? -[chuckles]

What does he do?

He’s a farm equipment salesman.

He was transferred up here about two months ago.

Oh.

He seems to be quite a salesman all right.

Is it true what they say about Dixie?

Well I don’t know Dixie, but I’m sure willing to try.

Hey! Almost a New Year.

Couldn’t get any worse than the old one, that’s for sure.

-[both laughing] -I better go and get my wife.

[phone ringing]

Happy New Year, everybody. It’s 12:00!

-Happy New Year! -[everybody] Happy New Year!

[cheering]

Happy New Year!

[Jackie laughs]

Happy New Year, darling.

OK. Yeah, I’m on my way.

Mrs. Powell. She’s in labor. Two weeks early.

Hey, hey. Hey.

-Happy New Year, darling. -Happy New Year.

You mean, you don’t play golf, man?

No.

Oh, you don’t know what you’re missing.

Oh, all that walking after a little ball.

[laughing] It’s not just that little ball

that you’re walking after.

-It’s a... business. -What do you mean?

Well, you wanna join a country club,

sell some of those plows, huh?

Well, you already got me in the lion’s.

Now, sweetheart, you listen to Ken.

Well, honey, I heard him. I heard him.

After all, I did buy that house

on his recommendation, didn’t I?

Oh, it’s a good investment, you’ll see.

Oh, darling, we’re out of cigarettes.

I think I’ll pop down to the crossing and get some.

Bish, would you mind moving the car from the driveway?

-It’s blocking mine. -No, not at all.

I’ll be right back.

-[Jackie] Bye-bye, there. -[Elise] Bye.

[Jackie] Ken?

Ken, you sure have been a great help to us.

Bish and I are so out of things,

and if it hadn’t been for you and Elise,

we never would’ve been accepted.

Oh, it wasn’t us. It was Bish’s guitar

and his husky baritone voice that opened the--

...door.

[sigh] My goodness, Elise is so pretty.

There’s plenty of cigarettes here.

She didn’t have to go.

[Jackie] Well, maybe she didn’t want to run too low.

Your car is gone, I--

I guess Bish drove her down.

Yes.

Well, they’ll-- they’ll be back soon.

Now, what am I going to do with this?

-[Elise] Can I help? -No, it’s all right, honey.

I can manage, thank you.

I guess you really are leaving tomorrow, aren’t you?

[laughing] I certainly am, honey.

And I need another week to get ready then, too.

[laugh] It seems a shame to be leaving

with the weather just getting nice.

Yes, but I promised the children that they could visit

their grandmother during the vacation.

Will Bish join you later?

Yes!

Yes, he can’t right now, he’s too busy.

[sigh]

Mommy, Mommy, is the train ready?

No, baby, not yet, but it will be tomorrow.

Oh, Mattie, see? I told you.

She wouldn’t believe me.

I believe you, Bob. Come give auntie Elise a big hug.

Mattie is only a baby.

She doesn’t understand about trains.

You do, though. You’re a big boy.

You better keep an eye on your little sister.

[Jackie laughing] Yes, Bob, you do that for Mommy, huh?

Now, out with you, both of you.

-OK. -Out to play.

That’s right.

I’ll never finish this packing.

I better be leaving, too.

-Oh, don’t run off. -Oh, but I most.

You know, but there is something you can do for me, honey.

-Anything. -It’s about Bish.

-Yes? -I sure would appreciate

if you keep your eye on him for me while I’m gone.

Just to see that he eats properly and sticks to his diet.

Diet? Bish on a diet? Don’t tell me.

Oh, yes. He doesn’t take it very seriously, but he should.

He starts to put on a little weight,

-and before you know it... -What can I do?

Well, just, keep after him, it’s really a very simple diet.

Tell me what it is and I’ll nag him to death.

-[chuckles] -It’s just lean meat

and no potatoes, and no bread, and no desserts,

and saccharin in his coffee.

-[both laughing] -All right.

Oh, can I drive you to the station tomorrow?

Oh, no, that’s all right, honey. Bish will.

-I’ll come see you out. -Oh, don’t bother.

Have a good trip. I’ll see you when you get back.

Yes, honey, I will.

I sure will.

* Father, oh, Father, come dig my grave *

* I’ll dig it long and narrow *

* Sweet William died for me today *

* I’ll die for him tomorrow *

* They buried him in the old churchyard *

* They buried her beside him *

* Through William’s heart grew a red, red rose *

* Through Barbara’s grew a briar *

Where did you ever learn to play the guitar?

Oh, I never took any lessons. I just...

sort of started picking at the strings.

Uh, so do it yourself, huh?

Play some more.

Oh, give me a chance to get my breath.

[laugh] That was a big supper we just had.

No one would ever guess you we’re on a diet.

Well, I’m not. I’m supposed to be,

but I just can’t seem to get around to it.

-Who told you, Eli? -Jackie.

Have you heard from her yet?

Yeah, yeah. I got a wire from her yesterday.

She’s at her folk’s place.

Oh, I promised Jackie I’d help you keep you slim.

Now, where’s that saccharin?

There’s no use. I’ll just forget it anyway.

I won’t let you forget.

How about a brandy, everyone?

-Not me. -No, no thank you.

I’ll take one.

All right.

Ken sure missed a great dinner.

Well, he’d never miss a Junior Chamber of Commerce meeting.

You know, he has been after me to join. I just might do that.

Be good business.

Business-- that’s all men ever think about.

[Della] Is that so bad?

Well, let’s just say it’s not stimulating.

I have a theory.

Men should make money,

put it in their wives’ checking accounts

and then forget about it.

It’s a good thing you’re not married to a doctor.

Uh, speaking of doctors,

I’m reminded that I work 24 hours a day.

It’s getting late, honey.

-OK. We better go home. -Yeah. Hate to run,

but if I should get a call,

that fog is going to really slow us up getting back to town.

[Della] Don’t get up. We had a lovely dinner.

I’m glad you came.

[Della] Thanks, bye.

-Goodnight, Elise. -Goodnight.

-[Bob] Bish. -[Elise] Bye, goodnight.

[Bish humming "Barbara Allen"]

[car ignition]

[phone ringing]

Hello?

Yes, this is Dr. Hudson’s residence.

This is his wife. I’ll take a message.

What?

Oh, no, where?

Yes. Yes, he’ll be over right away.

-Bob. -[Bob] Huh?

-Bob, wake up. -[Bob] All right, who was it?

That was the sheriff.

They want you to go to the Taylor place, right away.

Ken Taylor just shot and killed Bish Darby!

[officer] Well, I guess there’s nothing more we can do

until the doc arrives.

[knocking]

[officer] Hi, doc. Della.

-[Bob] Where? -[officer] There he is.

-Clint. -Yeah, I guess so.

Hello, Della.

Do you have a cigarette on you? Everyone here seems to have run out.

-Thank you. -How about some coffee?

I’m gonna have some.

Well, there’s some on the bar from dinner.

I-- I walked in.

I walked right in.

Now, drink this. It’ll make you feel better.

I can’t drink coffee without sugar.

I’ll get some.

Oh, don’t bother, I’ll use this.

They won’t do anything to Ken, will they?

I don’t know.

[Elise] It was all my fault, I’ll say so.

It’s rather late now.

Jackie, I--

I feel so sorry for her.

Poor little Jackie.

What did she ever do to deserve this?

[Elise] It was hardly worth it.

I thought I’d die if I couldn’t have him.

But it was hardly worth it.

Jackie and the kids without Bish?

The world without Bish?

The guitar without Bish.

I sure fouled this one up, didn’t I?

Of course it was the original mistake.

My mistake in...

thinking Ken would put up with anything from me.

Is that why you married him?

Yes.

I could have had almost anyone in Bellfont.

Your Bob, for instance.

But I didn’t want him.

Only Bish.

Oh, Della, just look at me.

Tell me, was I meant for just one man

and one life?

Was I meant to be dedicated

to the gods of Bellfont respectability?

You could have gotten out of Bellfont.

Bish was the only one.

The only one since I was married.

The only one I was serious about.

I guess the gods of Bellfont respectability

weren’t working for Bish and Jackie

when they sent them here.

Della.

May I see you a moment, please?

How is she taking it?

She’s all right.

Don’t you think you should call Jackie?

-No, I think you better call. -Not me.

You should let her best friend do it.

Oh, I--

I feel so odd all of a sudden.

Odd.

I’ll get Bob to give you something.

No. No, don’t bother.

I’ll just lay down here for a while.

Where did Ken get the gun, Della?

How long do you suppose he’s had it?

I don’t know.

[sigh]

When Ken walked in, he just stood there.

Then he said, "I’ve waited long enough, but I got you now."

And then he just took out the gun.

Try not to think about it.

We had steak for dinner because Bish is dieting.

He always diets when he thinks he’s putting on a little weight.

Jackie and I laughed about it.

Bish is dead and I’m talking about him as if he isn’t.

Oh, it--

it was Ken’s coming back that did it. I--

I forgot about the J.C.’s letting their meetings out early

on foggy nights.

[sigh] It was the fog.

They always come home early when it’s foggy.

So many of them live on the lake.

You’re talking too much. Now try to get some rest.

You want to call Jackie for me, honey?

I couldn’t, I’d make such a mess of it.

Look, if you knew about Bish and Elise,

why didn’t you at least try to warn Jackie?

I hadn’t seen her for ages. Besides, she knew.

Here.

Guess I should have tried.

You think it would have helped?

Well, an unfaithful husband is better than a dead one.

Come on, Ken. We’re going downtown now.

Finished with the report yet, doc?

No, it’s just the preliminary.

What about Mrs. Taylor? Can we get hold of her family?

I don’t think they’re likely to show up.

[officer] Well, doesn’t she have any friends she can go to?

None that I know of.

Can you stay with her just for tonight?

Looks like she’s in a pretty bad state of shock.

There’s no one else to do it, is there?

Goodnight, doc, see you in the morning.

[Bob] Goodnight, Clint.

I just want to call Jackie now.

Hello?

Hello, operator, I’d like to place

a long distance telephone call

to Huntersville, Mississippi.

That’s right.

Uh, just a minute.

Hon,

do you happen to know Jackie’s name before she was married?

Uh, her parents’ name?

I don’t know, I don’t think I ever knew.

[Elise] Their name is Bliss.

Her father’s name is Beauregard Bliss.

Elise, you’re drinking too much coffee.

What you need is sleep.

[Bob] Beauregard Bliss.

That’s right, operator.

Oh, operator, when you get to Bliss residence,

I’d like to talk to a Mrs. Bishop Darby.

Darby, yeah.

That’s right.

All right, I’ll hold on, operator.

I feel awful.

[Della] I’m going to stay with you tonight.

Thank you.

I keep thinking of that song Bish used to sing--

"Barbara Allen."

-You know it? -Yes, I know it.

* When he was dead and laid in grave *

* Her heart was stroke with sorrow *

* Oh, Mother, Mother, make my bed *

* For I shall die tomorrow *

* Oh, Mother, Mother, make my bed *

* Oh, make it long and narrow *

* Sweet William died for me today *

[Bob] Mrs. Darby? Jackie?

Jackie, this is Bob Hudson.

Hello, Bob.

I’m afraid I have bad news for you, Jackie.

It’s Bish.

He’s dead.

All right.

What was that?

I said--

You want me to give myself up to the authorities here?

Or should I come back there?

Jackie, I’m afraid you don’t understand.

[Jackie] I mean, who should arrest me?

I’m trying to tell you that Bish has been killed.

He was shot.

Shot?

Shot?

Yes. It was--

Ken.

[chuckles]

It was Ken.

Jackie, do you mind if I speak to your mother

or your father, please?

If-- If Ken shot Bish...

there’s something that you’d better do.

[Bob] I...

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

You better do something about that saccharin.

Saccharin?

[Jackie] Yes.

The saccharin that I left for Bish...

it was poison.

Bob!

[Bob] She’s dead.

Oh, well, we all make mistakes.

Poor Jackie Darby had no way of telling

that her rival shared her husband’s diet.

Now, here’s another commercial, after which I shall return.

Some of you have inquired about the small bullet holes

in the commercial you have just witnessed.

This should explain.

The proceeding film was selected and shown to the armed forces.

Actually, it was nothing. 30 caliber and under.

But next time, we hope to persuade the sponsor

to make a personal appearance instead.

Now, until next week, goodnight.