All language subtitles for Alfred.Hitchcock.Presents.S06E17.The.Last.Escape.1080p.PCOK.WEBRip.AAC.2.0.H.265.-EDGE2020_track3_[eng]

Good evening.

You should’ve seen
the one that got away.

The only one I’ve ever
seen, with gold lamé scales.

I’m sure all of you are
interested in the details
of this catch.

It’s really a matter
of finding the proper bait.

I soon learned that
these little creatures

can tell cheap costume
jewelry on sight

and won’t come near it.

You must bait your hook
with the real article.

And sometimes,
they make off with the bait

before you can reel them in.

However, that’s a situation

with which most of you
men are already familiar.

Tonight’s fable is entitled,

"The Last Escape."

But first, something
from which there is no escape.

[piano music]

[applause]

[whistling]

Are you ready, Mr. Ferlini?

-Ready!
-[chattering]

[drum roll]

-[cheering]
-[applause]

[chattering]

[man] Bravo!

-[applause]
-[chattering]

[wolf whistling]

Here, let me help you.

No, Tommy, not now.

They liked
your husband tonight,
didn’t they?

It’s that kind of crowd.

-They’ll like you too.
-Thanks.

Tommy, I didn’t mean that,
huh?

You know
what I feel about you.

I mean, about your singing.

Is that all you mean?
Just my singing?

Tommy, please.

It’s all right.
He’s in his dressing room.

It’s not all right.
I told you that
is never all right

when he’s around.

Look, when I’m gonna
see you alone?

-Please.
-Gotta give me an answer.

I’ve got to go.

Hi, honey.

I was great tonight.
Just great.

What do you say?

You were the greatest.

I could get
out of steel boxes tonight,

that’s how good I felt.
[laughs]

Hey, did you get a load
of the little guy

that put me
in the straitjacket?

He thought he was gonna make it
real tough on me.

You see how he was holding
on those straps?

[laughs]
Those little guys.

They’re the worst.

It’s a pleasure to fool them.

Would you look at that?
Look at that, honey.

Would anybody take me
for 46 years of age?

What do you say?

You’re a Greek god.

And speaking of Greeks,

we’ve been invited out
to a dinner tonight.

Harry’s buying.

Ah, Harry,

he spoils my appetite.

To hear him talk,

you’d think
the escape business was dead.

Well, he should’ve been
out there tonight.

He’d know different.

Well, he booked you
into this joint.

He outta know whether
it was dead or not.

And, uh, listen Joe.
Tonight,

when we’re with Harry,
I don’t wanna hear any more

of that water business,
you understand?

I’m sick of hearing
about it.

Well, you’re getting old,
Wanda. That’s your trouble.

That water trick’s the best
idea I’ve ever had.

It’s gonna make me
a headliner.

Yeah, don’t you talk to me
about age.

You’re no kid yourself, Joe.

Trick like that water trick
might prove too much for you.

I’m no kid, huh?

I’ve seen 10 new wrinkles
on your face,

in the last week, sugar.

You look at yourself lately?

Go on, take a look.

Here, use a mirror.

Oh, go look at yourself.

Go on, take a look.

-Stop it, Joe.
-Who you calling an old man?

-Stop it!
-I’m younger than you are,

you understand?
Because I keep in shape!

Don’t you go calling
me an old man!

-You hear me?
-All right, all right.

Not everybody thinks
I’m too old, Joe.

[panting]

-Not everybody.
-Oh, shut up!

Get dressed.

So we’re supposed
to go out to dinner,

let’s go out to dinner!

Besides, I gotta talk
to Harry about something.

About the water trick!

[mutters]

Houdini’s dead,
don’t forget that.

I know Houdini’s dead.

Only, I’m alive.

Me, Joe Ferlini.

Yeah, that’s one thing
about you, Joe,

you never had any trouble
with any false modesty.

What could Houdini do
that I can’t?

I work with ropes,
chains, irons.

I can get out of anything.

Sacks, bags, hampers, trunks.

I can do all
the handcuff routines.

And I still do the fastest
straitjacket escape

in the business. Besides,

you know? Houdini used
to use a lot of trick stuff.

And you don’t?

Sure, sometimes.

I’ve got my skeleton keys,
phony bolts, all that junk.

But you know, Harry,
I do most of my tricks

-with muscles, right?
-Sure.

Sure, Joe, you’re the greatest.

I keep in shape,
ask Wanda here.

I work out an hour a day
with the vaudevilles.

I still got great
chest expansion.

I can do that water trick,
it will be the greatest.

But it’s been done, Joe.

That’s what I’ve been trying
to tell you.

People don’t get excited

about that kind of stuff
anymore.

You drink too much, Harry.

Your brain’s soft.

Sure that trick’s been done,

but that was years ago.

There’s a whole new
generation today.

All you gotta do is handle
that publicity right,

and I’ll be a sensation.

Harry, what do you say?

[sighs]

OK, how do you wanna
work the act?

I expand, they tie me.

I relax,
the rope falls off.

I got a skeleton key
in the seam of the pants,

soon as I get
the handcuffs off,
I reach into the pants,

get out a razor blade,

cut myself out of the sack,

get out of the false bottom
of the trunk,

and go to the surface
of the lake like a cork.

It’s a cinch.

Yeah? How good a swimmer
are you?

The greatest. You don’t have
to worry about that.

When I was a kid, I was gonna
swim the English Channel.

That’s how good I was.

[sighs] Well,

we could put you over
in a motor boat,

pick you up the same way,
that would lessen the risk.

That would be easy.
I knew you’ll see it.

Well, I don’t see it.

Sounds to me like a ticket
to the graveyard.

[Ferlini]
Well--

Well, you’re wrong, honey.

This is a ticket to the big
time. Right, Harry?

Maybe, we’ll have to see.

-Tommy, what are you doing here?
-Wanda, I had to see you.

-I thought I told you--
-I know Joe isn’t here.

I saw him swimming
in the lake.

What is it with all that
swimming about, anyways?

He’s taking it off
seriously.

He’s getting in shape.

-He’s going for a long swim.
-What?

Tommy, you shouldn’t be here.

You don’t want any trouble.
Neither do I.

I didn’t come here
for trouble.

What did you come here for?

I didn’t think
I had to tell you.

Wanda,
you’ve got to leave him.

It’s getting worse
all the time.

You don’t know
what it’s like.

Every year, every day.

All he thinks about,
night and day, is the act.

Escape, escape, escape.

Sometimes I think I’m going
crazy, Tommy, I mean it.

When we were in Louisville
last year,

I went to a head shrink
for a while, did you know that?

Three months it was.

Then he got that job
in Vegas.

That was the end of that.

If you ask me,
he’s the one that’s crazy,

treating you the way he does.

You know, he thinks about the
escape in his sleep sometimes.

No kidding.

Sometimes, in the middle
of the night,

he throws off the covers
and takes a bow.

[sobbing]

Tommy?

Yeah?

-Would you do me a favor?
-Certainly.

Would you put these on?

Please.

Now, try and get loose.

[grunts]

[grunting] I can’t.

Of course you can’t.

Neither could Joe.

If he didn’t have
this hidden on in some place.

Now, try it.

The key,

-it won’t turn.
-No, of course it won’t.

It’s the wrong key.

This is the right one.

You know that water trick
he does where he...

he gets thrown
into the lake?

Yes.

Well, he’s gonna do it
in a couple of weeks.

That’s what he’s practicing
for now.

And you know what I’ve been
hoping and praying for

ever since he decided
to do it?

You better go now.

In case he comes back.

[carnival music]

You sure everything’s
all set?

I don’t want anything
to go wrong.

I’m always all set.

You sure you feeling OK,
huh?

Never better.

How about a little kiss, honey?
For good luck?

Yeah, sure, Joe.

[cheering]

Chief Wallace, I’d like you
to meet The Great Ferlini.

Ferlini.

This is Mr. Ralph Crimmins,

president of the
Local Chamber of Commerce.

-A pleasure.
-Frank Petty of The Tribune.

And you’ve already met
our motorboat pilot,
Mr. Dave Brooks.

Well, let’s get started,
it’s a bit warm,

-and I’m ready for a dip.
-[audience cheers]

Chief Wallace, do you have
the handcuffs?

Yes, I have them right here.

Now, Chief Wallace,
you’ve examined those handcuffs.

Are you sure they’re genuine?

[laughs] Oh, they’re genuine
all right.

Then will you place them on,
please?

Yeah.

May we have the rope, please?

Now, will you gentlemen
tie this rope

around the body
of The Great Ferlini?

And make as many knots
as you wish.

[Mr. Prentice]
I warn you, Mr. Ferlini,

I used to be
a boy scout. [laughs]

There, now, Mrs. Ferlini,

may I have the sack,
please?

Now, will you gentlemen
lift The Great Ferlini

onto the sack, please?

Now, pull the sack up,
over his head...

and fasten the top securely.

And now...

we have the trunk.

Now you, gentlemen,
have examined this trunk

and tested its locks,
is that correct?

The lock is OK,

but why do you have all
these holes in the trunk?

A good question.
The holes are there

to make the trunk
sink faster.

-Satisfied?
-OK.

All right, then.
Will you, gentlemen,

lift The Great Ferlini
into the trunk, please?

Chief Wallace.

Chief Wallace,

will you secure
the lock, please?

Well now,
are you gentlemen satisfied
that The Great Ferlini

is securely locked
in this trunk?

-We are.
-Sure.

Then we’re ready to put him
aboard the motorboat.

-Give us a hand, Dave.
-Sure thing.

-Ready?
-Up.

I sure hope they know
what they’re doing.

-This all right, Mr. Miller?
-Yes, this will do fine.

All right, Dave.

Let’s get this trunk
overboard.

Yes sir.

There he goes.

He’s not coming up,
Mr. Miller.

He’s gotta come up.

He’s got to.

He’s not... coming up.

Dear friends,

we are gathered here today,

to consign the mortal remains

of Joseph Martin Ferlini

to the earth which bore him.

Who can say
that Joseph Ferlini,

in his last moment
of earthly glory,

was not happy
in this choice

which was made for him

by the almighty arbiter

of life and death?

-Is this the Ferlini funeral?
-Why, yes, but...

I’m sorry to break this up,
reverend,

but I’m from
the County Coroner’s Office.

I’m afraid the funeral services
can’t continue.

We have orders to attach
the body of Joseph Ferlini.

[reverend]
But surely, but...

What’s the matter?
Something wrong?

Well, I’m sorry, ma’am.
Are you Mrs. Ferlini?

-Yes.
-Well, we have a court order

to attach your husband’s body.

The coroner wanted me to make
a further examination.

I’m afraid I’ll have to open
the coffin.

Open the coffin?

Yes,
at the caretaker’s cottage.

We’ll make
the examination there.

Would you, gentlemen,
please pick up the coffin

and, uh, follow me?

Thank you, gentlemen.
I’ll call you when I need you.

I’m sorry, you must go too.

Don’t look, Wanda.

[screams]

Well, you gotta understand
how it is my business.

Everything is showmanship.
Everything.

And that’s why Ferlini
made this deal with me.

And just what was this deal,
Mr. Miller?

Well, nobody knew about it
but him and me.

It was crazy,
I told him that.

But he made me
promise him

that if anything happened
to him,

if he should die,

that I would arrange
a last escape.

Something that would make him
be remembered

longer even than Houdini.

That’s all it was, a trick.

A trick?

Well, I slipped the undertaker
50 bucks,

and he arranged to have him
buried some place secretly.

And he put an empty coffin
onto the hearse.

And that guy from
the Coroner’s Office,

he was a phony too.
Just an actor I hired.

You see what I mean?

Showmanship.

I see.

But I’m afraid
that your showmanship

has had quite an effect
on Mrs. Ferlini.

That’s the unfortunate part.

Yeah.

Well, I feel pretty rotten
about that, doctor.

Could I see her?

I’m sorry, Mr. Miller,
but that’s impossible
right now.

Yeah, well, I understand.

But remember, doctor,
if there’s anything I can do...

Thank you, Mr. Miller.
Thank you.

[opens door]

[closes door]

Mrs. Ferlini,

I really would try and rest,
if I were you.

You must remember
that things are always

much better than they seem.

That this is the best of all
possible worlds,

that every cloud
has a silver lining,

and that it is darkest
just before the dawn.

I tell you this,

not because of what you have
just experienced,

but for what you
are about to see.

I suppose you’re wondering
what became of my catch.

The game warden insisted
I throw her back in

because her measurements
didn’t meet specifications.

In order to keep them,
they must be larger than

36, 22, 15.

And of course it’s quite
difficult knowing precisely

where to take
that last measurement.

Next week, I shall be back,

so let us hope I have some
more luck in the meantime.

Until then, goodnight.