All language subtitles for Alfred.Hitchcock.Presents.S05E35.The.Schartz-Metterklume.Method.1080p.PCOK.WEBRip.AAC.2.0.H.265.-EDGE2020_track3_[eng]

Good evening,
fellow students.

I’m glad to see
everyone here.

Our dear professor is very
strict about attendance.

Anyone who is absent
must bring a note

signed by their
television repair man.

And anyone who is tardy

and misses the first part
of the program,

must stay after school
and watch the late, late show.

Perhaps you are wondering
why I have this apple.

It is for the teacher,
naturally.

[explosion]

And now we are about to take up
one of his favorite subjects.

Watch closely.

He may ask questions later.

[horse neighing]

[station master] Little Tipton!
Little Tipton, please!

-[man] Giddyup!
-[whiplash]

-Giddyup!
-[whiplash]

Come on, Nobby.

-Giddyup! Giddyup!
-[whiplash]

-Giddyup!
-Hey! You, there.

Git! Giddyup, Nobby!
Giddyup!

-My man, stop!
-Giddyup!

-Giddyup!
-Stop!

-[whiplash]
-Giddyup, Nobby!

Did you hear what I said,
my man?

-If you don’t stop--
-Giddyup!

Stop! Stop!

Stop abusing that animal!

He can’t possibly pull
such a load up that hill.

He’s goin’ to, ma’am,
and he’s got to.

Nonsense.

Here, gimme me whip.

Nonsense!

Leave half the load here

by the side of the road
and come back for it.

Come on now,
unload it at once.

This ain’t your affair
and it ain’t your horse.

Hmm. We’ll see about that.

How much will you sell him for?

Him? Sell him?

Well, he’s a valuable horse,
a good horse,

I don’t know
as I could sell him.

-How much?
-Well, a horse like that,

I couldn’t let go
for less than...

10 pounds, ma’am.

-10 pounds?
-Yes, ma’am.

10 pounds for an over-worked,
decrepit, beast like that?

Oh, very well.

What’s your name?

Huggins, ma’am.
Ben Huggins.

Here. Here, now. You...

you sign it.

You don’t get your 10 pounds
unless you sign it!

Yes, but, uh,
what does it say?

It says that you have sold me
your horse for 10 pounds

and that you are
to keep him for me.

You mean I get him?
Got to keep him?

You are to keep him
and use him in your work.

He’s to be well fed
and not overloaded.

I shall keep an eye
on my horse,

and if he isn’t fat,

if he isn’t happy
the next time I see him,

I shall take back my 10 pounds.

Do you understand?

[laughs]
You mean,

all I got to do
for me 10 pounds,
is be matey with me horse?

You’ve got to treat him
like a brother.

Make him like you.

He probably loathes you,
you know.

Do he?
Oh, I hadn’t thought of that.

Oh, come on, professor.

Come on, lad.
Come on, now.

You take a drink of water

while I nip into the pub
to get a little, uh,

refreshment myself.

[train whistles]

Dear me, that’s the first sign
of impatience

that train has shown all day.

[automobile horn]

How do you do?

You must be our new governess,
Miss Hope.

I’m Mrs. Wellington.

Where’s your luggage?

Well I’m afraid
it didn’t get off the train.

Oh, how provoking.

Really these railway companies
are so careless.

But never mind.

My maid can lend you
some things for the night.

The children are so looking
forward to meeting you.

Our last governess was not
at all satisfactory.

Quite a strict disciplinarian.

We’re looking for somebody
more up to date.

Come along, get in.

[Mrs. Wellington]
Home please, Simpson.

Now, I must tell you something
about the children.

Claude and Wilfred
are very delicate.

They must never be spoken to
in a harsh tone.

It wounds them deeply.

Then, Irenee.

She has the artistic temperament
very highly developed.

You must allow for that if she
becomes a little over emotional.

I have the artistic
temperament myself.

I’m sure you can control
yours, Miss Hope.

And if Viola plays you
a joke once in a while,

you must take it in good part.

It’s only youthful high spirits.

I see.

And I want them
not only to be taught

but interested
in what they learn.

And French, of course.

I shall expect you
to speak it at meal times,

several days during the week.

I shall speak French
for four days of the week,

and Russian the remaining three.

Russian?

My dear Miss Hope,

nobody in the house understands
or speaks Russian.

That will not embarrass me
in the least.

I like the children to be out of
doors a good part of the day.

-So healthy for them.
-Yes.

Yes, I should think they would
be glad to get out.

[Mrs. Wellington]
We’re so proud of our house.

It was designed
by Sir Cecil Pack in 1783.

His mother must have been
frightened by a cathedral.

[Mrs. Wellington]
I beg your pardon?

Oh, pray don’t apologize.

It’s just that I never cared
much for neo-gothic.

No doubt you’ve been used
to rather cramped quarters.

But you’ll get used
to spaciousness in time.

I’ll try, Mrs. Wellington.

[Mrs. Wellington]
Here we are.

Perhaps you’d like to see
your room first.

Oh, thank you,
Mrs. Wellington.

Ah, children.

This is your new governess,
Miss Hope.

Now, children you must do
all that you can

to make Miss Hope feel
at home.

[Miss Hope]
Wilfred?

-No, Claude.
-Oh, Claude.

Wilfred.

Irenee.

Viola.

Gertrude, Nellie, Robert,
go home at once.

I’m sure your mother’s
looking for you.

The Simpson children,
the chauffeur, you know.

Mrs. Simpson is our laundress
and she allows her children
to run wild.

I don’t like those children
coming into the house.

Now where’s Nannie? Nannie?
Oh, there you are.

Nannie, those Simpson children
were in again,

I do think you might manage
to keep them out of the house.

Miss Hope? This is Nannie.

-Nannie, this is Miss Hope,
our new governess.
-How do you do?

Now come along, Miss Hope,
I’ll show you to your room.

No, children, you stay
down there with Nannie.

You see what I mean
about Claude and Wilfred?

Such shy little boys.

Oh dear,
it’s getting very dark.

There’s no gas in this hall.

There is, however,
a light in your room.

Ah yes, Rose has it
all ready for you.

I think you’ll be
very comfortable here.

Not with those pictures.

I shouldn’t sleep a wink.

They must be taken down
at once.

[Mrs. Wellington]
My dear Miss Hope.

Most governesses would be
very happy to have
a room like this.

You are quite mistaken,
Mrs. Wellington.

After the governess’ revolt.

-The what?
-The governess’ revolt.

Which is due to take place
two weeks from tomorrow.

You will discover
what a volcano you’ve been
sitting on all these years.

-Volcano?
-I shouldn’t have mentioned it.

Now, about these pictures.

We can discuss them
another time, Miss Hope.

I shall leave you now.

You may inspect the school room,
if you wish.

Mr. Wellington and I
are alone tonight

so perhaps you’d care
to dine with us.

We shall expect you in
the drawing room at 8 o’clock.

Fill it up, please.

I want more than just a splash
at the bottom of the glass.

1901. Not a very good year
for claret.

Are you an authority
on wines, Miss Hope?

Oh, I should scarcely care
to call myself an authority.

But when one doesn’t know
anything about wine,

I do think it wiser
to consult someone who does.

I should recommend
Shelton Brothers in London.

Just put yourself
in their hands

and you cannot go far wrong.

I hardly think that buying
the wine for the household

comes in your province,
Miss Hope.

Uh, we have
very satisfactory references

about you, Miss Hope,
from Canon Teep.

A most estimable man.

Drinks like a fish
and beats his wife,

but otherwise
quite a lovable character.

My dear Miss Hope!

I trust you’re exaggerating.

Oh, one must, in justice,
admit there is some provocation.

Mrs. Teep is quite the most
irritating bridge player.

I wasn’t surprised when
her leads and declarations

aroused a certain amount
of brutality in the Canon.

Miss Hope,
I hardly think that--

But sousing her
with the entire contents

of the soda-water siphon,
that was going a little far.

You may think me hasty
in my judgments,

but it was practically on
account of the siphon incident

that I left.

I don’t wish to hear any more.

I shall never allude
to it again.

Miss Hope, with what studies

do you intend to begin
the children’s education?

Biology.

Biology to begin with and, uh,

well, then possibly history.

Oh, history, yes,
by all means, yes, history.

Now, when you’re
teaching them history,

you must take care

that they have interest
in what they learn.

You must make them feel that
they are being introduced

to the lives of men
and women who really lived.

I’ve told her that.

I teach history on the
Schartz-Metterklume Method.

The, err...

Er... Oh, I see.

Er, Schartz-Metterklume.

German, I suppose.

[laughs]
Oh, Mr. Wellington!

What a sense of humor you have!

John, we’ll leave you
to your port.

That is unless you require
more wine, Miss Hope?

Oh, no. Oh, no.

What I had was quite enough.

I shall go to my room now.

You might send me up
a bottle of brandy, please.

And a decent glass
to drink it from.

The only one I observed
in my room

was a tooth mug.

Goodnight, Mr. Wellington.

Goodnight.

[sighs]

Will-Will someone give
me a light?

Or am I supposed to feel my way
up to this black hole?

I’m sorry, Miss.
I didn’t expect you up so soon.

I was going to leave
a candle on the landing

but Nannie said
it might be dangerous

and the house might catch
on fire.

That might be a good thing.

Here we are. I’ll just turn
the gas on, shall I?

Thank you, Rose.

That’s hardly
an improvement, is it?

I brought you
some night clothes, Miss.

Till your baggage arrives.
I do hope they fit all right.

Well, if they belong
to Mrs. Wellington

that is scarcely likely.

However, it is of no importance.

I always make
the best of things.

I’ll just turn the bed down,
shall I?

Yes.

The bathroom’s just
down the passage, Miss.

Thank you.

Will there be anything else?

No. Oh, yes.

You might find out what became
of the brandy I ordered.

Oh, well, never mind.

-Goodnight, Rose.
-Goodnight, Miss.

Miss Hope hasn’t brought
the children back yet, ma’am.

And it’s time they were washing
their hands before lunch.

Back?
Well, where have they gone?

They went off
right after breakfast.

Haven’t been seen since.

They missed their
elevenses entirely.

Now they’ll be late for lunch,
and the Vicar coming.

Really, this is most irritating.

Mrs. Wellington,

are you sure that Miss Hope
is going to do?

Never mind that now, Nannie.

Let me know
the moment they come back.

I must finish this letter
before the Vicar arrives.

She told cook she wanted
chocolate pudding for breakfast.

So I thought it would be
a good idea

if we could prevail
upon Lady Cecily

to allow us to use her garden

for the bazaar
if the weather was fine.

Don’t you think that
a good idea, Mrs. Wellington?

What?
Oh, yes.

I’m so sorry, Vicar,

but I am a bit worried
about the children.

I’m sure nothing’s happened
to them, Mrs. Wellington.

Unless, of course, they went
picking flowers in the field
with Mr. Hankins’ bull.

[Miss Hope]
Come along, children.

-[children laughing]
-[chattering]

I see you didn’t delay
lunch for me.

Quite right, of course.

Good afternoon, Vicar.

My shooting coat.

[Irenee]
Mommy, I got 64 tadpoles.

We caught them ourselves, see?

-See?
-[Mrs. Wellington] Ugh!

He’s the harmless kind,
isn’t he sweet?

Look, Mommy, specimens.

Oh! Take them away.

Throw those dirty things away!

Oh, John,
how can you sit there?

Go to Nannie instantly.

No, no, no,
don’t come near me.

Oh, Rose.

Rose?
Call Nannie at once.

The fresh air makes
one feel quite hungry.

Doesn’t it, Vicar?

Y-Yes.

Do you find this system
of education

-quite satisfactory, Miss...?
-Oh, yes.

Miss Hope.
Quite satisfactory.

I believe Mrs. Wellington
forgot to introduce us.

Yes, the children will learn

all about the reproductive
system of the frog

which will lead on,

quite naturally,

to the higher forms of life.

Don’t you think
they’re a little young?

Dear me, no.

I shall teach them everything.

Good afternoon, Vicar.

Go to the nursery
at once, children.

No, no. The back stairs.
Go up the back stairs.

Just send my lunch
on a tray to my room.

I shall take a nap,
till tea time.

[heavy sigh]

I like biology.

I’m going to be a biologist
when I grow up

and have tanks and tanks
of specimens.

Indeed you’re not.

Probably all caught
your death of cold.

Ah, Miss Hope.

I trust you slept well?

Very well, thank you.

The fresh air always
makes me feel drowsy.

Do you always allow your
children to have tea with you?

I don’t leave the care
of the children entirely
to the servants.

They have tea with us
whenever we have no guests.

Very commendable.

However, I should think it would
inhibit adult conversation.

A careless word,
and one finds oneself quoted

in the most embarrassing
circumstances.

We are not in custom
to embarrassing topics
of conversation, Miss Hope.

Miss Hope?

If the mother frog just lays
her eggs and goes away,

how does she know
which are her babies?

Frogs are notoriously
indifferent to their offspring.

She doesn’t care
which are her babies.

Doesn’t the father frog care?

He’s even more indifferent
than the mother.

If possible.

Well why does she lay the eggs

if she isn’t fond of children?

Well, it’s
a biological necessity,

what else would she do
with them?

Err, perhaps we should
change the subject.

But cats like their kittens.

And dogs like their puppies.

And cows like their calves.

Do cats lay eggs?
Do dogs? Do cows?

Oh, Wilfred, you’re so silly.

Did you ever see a cow egg?

Well you see, Wilfred,
the truth of the matter is--

-Miss Hope.
-Very well.

You will confine your remarks
to frogs, please, children.

The Schartz-Metterklume Method

covers one thing at a time.

It will be some weeks
before we get to cows.

You are not going to get
to cows, Miss Hope.

Not for some time,
at any rate,

since we have biology
only on Thursdays.

What shall we study
tomorrow, Miss Hope?

Tomorrow?

Tomorrow I shall teach you...

John, have you spoken
to Miss Hope?

Yes, err... That is, no.
I tried to, but...

But what?
All you have to tell her is

that we don’t think she is
suitable for this post.

I did, but she didn’t seem
to hear me.

She said that she had
no time for conversation,

they’re having a history
lesson this morning

and she didn’t want to be
distracted until after lunch.

[sighs]
Well, where are they now?

I don’t know.

Rose, where are the children?

Well, I’m not sure, ma’am.

I think they’re in the garden.

[sigh]

[children laughing]

My stole.
My best fur.

What are you doing,
dragging it about here
in the dirt?

Go and put something on,
instantly.

Are you out of your mind,
coming out here
with no clothes on?

Miss Hope says wolves don’t wear
anything under their skins.

Miss Hope.

Well, what’s
the meaning of this?

Answer me.

Well, we’re having
a history lesson.

Viola’s supposed to be Rome
and I’m the she-wolf.

You know, the one that
adopted Romulus and Remus.

Claude and Wilfred have gone
to fetch the shabby women.

-The shabby women?
-Yes.

They’ve got to carry them off.

They didn’t want to.

But Miss Hope got
one of father’s rackets

and said she would give them
a spanking if they didn’t.

So they’ve gone to do it.

[children screaming]

Wilfred, Claude, let those
children go at once.

What do you think you’re doing?

What’s happening?
What is going on?

That’s what I should like
to know.

John, talk to Mrs. Simpson.

Raise her salary.

-Explain to her.
-But, what shall I...?

Miss Hope.
What is the meaning

of this disgraceful,
inexcusable...

Well, answer me, Miss Hope.

What were you doing
with my children?

Well, I was teaching them
early Roman history.

The Rape of the Sabine Women,
you know.

It’s the
Schartz-Metterklume Method.

To make children understand
history by acting it themselves.

It fixes it in their memories.

Of course, if, thanks
to your interference,

your boys go
through life thinking

the Sabine Women
ultimately escaped,

I cannot be held responsible.

I consider the
Schartz-Metterklume Method

as irresponsible as you,
Miss Hope.

You’ll kindly leave here
by the next train.

Your luggage will be sent
after you when it arrives.

As you will.
At least I shall have started

the children
in the right direction.

You might keep my luggage
until I wire my address.

There are only
a couple of trunks,

some golf clubs
and a cheetah cub.

A cheetah cub?

Well he’s rather left off
being a cub.

He’s more than half-grown.

A fowl every day
and a rabbit on Sunday,

is what he usually gets.

Raw beef makes him excitable.

Oh, please don’t bother
to order the car for me.

I feel like a walk.

Oh, good day, ma’am.

Oh, good day, Huggins.

How’s my horse?

Is he beginning to like you
any better?

Like me?

Why, he loves me, ma’am.

I’m delighted to hear it.

I treats him fair.

When I takes a drink,

he takes a drink.

-Good.
-[whistle blows]

Oh, there’s my train.

I mustn’t let
it get away from me.

-Goodbye, Huggins.
-Goodbye, ma’am.

I shall expect Ferdinand
to have gained

at least a stone
by the time I see him again.

Who?

Ferdinand. My horse.

Ferdinand?

Oh.

I don’t know
how he’ll take to that.

Ferdinand.

You’ve always been known
as Nobby, haven’t you?

I beg your pardon.

Are you Mrs. Wellington?

No. Decidedly not.

You must be Miss Hope.

I don’t think she’s expecting
you today, Miss Hope.

I should advise you to hire
a conveyance of some sort

and drive out to the house.

-[whistle blows]
-Goodbye.

[woman]
Charlotte my dear,

we’d quite given you up.

You know, we went to the station
yesterday and the day before.

Well, where have you been,
Lady Charlotte?

We were beginning
to worry about you.

Your luggage is far more
prompt than you are, Charlotte.

The train went off
without me at Little Tipton.

So I had to stay with a family
of complete strangers.

It was a very interesting
experience.

Really?

Oh, I hope Rover
hasn’t been a nuisance.

Oh, he’s been living
in the stables with Perkins.

We’ve become
quite attached to him.

In that case, I shall make you
a present of him, Jenny, dear.

Oh.

Thank you, Charlotte.

That’s very kind of you, dear.

But, don’t you think he’d be
far happier in the zoo,

with all the other animals
and things?

-Perhaps.
-[Jenny] Oh.

Now do sit down
and let me pour you some tea.

How very tiresome for you,
Charlotte dear,

losing your train
and then having to stay

with those strange people.

Oh dear, no.

Not at all tiresome...
for me.

And now I have a list
to write on the board.

The rest of you are to be part

of an experiment
in sleep teaching.

This is a theory,

that if a message is repeated
during one’s sleep,

it becomes a part
of one’s subconscious.

This particular lesson

is unusually well fitted
for this experiment,

for it not only repeats
its message,

but, if you aren’t
already asleep,

it takes care of that too.

Our beloved professor
took umbrage at my remarks

concerning his
audio visual aids.

But I don’t believe
I need to finish this.

You see,
our professor was teaching us

by the
Schartz-Metterklume Method.

He was playing the part
of Louis XVI

on his way to the guillotine.

And he failed to realize
that the class was filled

with very dedicated
Schartz-Metterklume
Method actors.

Our professor will not be
back next week.

But I shall.
Until then, goodnight.