All language subtitles for Alfred.Hitchcock.Presents.S05E24.Madame.Mystery.1080p.PCOK.WEBRip.AAC.2.0.H.265.-EDGE2020_track3_[eng]

Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.

I’m making credit cards.

As you can see,

this credit card
is cleverly patterned

after a five pound note.

In this way, we do away
with such troublesome features

as the monthly statement

or the necessity for solvency.

Furthermore, these are good
in any city in the country

and in any
business establishment,

provided the cashier
is near-sighted.

And now you may watch
our play...

if you credit is good.

[knock on the door]

Can I come in?

[laughs]

I’m Louise.

Uh, I just fell
in your ocean.

I know you won’t mind.

-Oh, I don’t mind.
-[laughs]

I mean, it’s not as though
we couldn’t find another ocean

if we had to.

J-Jimmy told me you’d loan me
your blanket,

at least until
we get to his place.

Uh, he’s-- he’s getting
some things out of... car.

[laughing]

-Jimmy? Jimmy Dolan, you mean?
-[woman] Mm-hm.

Uh, I’m just getting started
in the business.

Uh, we came from
the studio together.

[laughing]

I see.

Well, you seem to have been
pretty well laundered.

I’m cold.

Look, I own a blanket, but I--
I think it’s out on the line.

Just a minute.

[woman gasps]

-There. How’s that?
-Thank you.

Stevie! Stevie, Stevie, listen.
I gotta talk to you.

-Why?
-Why?

-Mm.
-So you can shine

like a glow-warm instead
of a schnook, that’s why.

And maybe pick yourself
up to two, three hundred bucks.

-How much?
-You heard me, man.

Maybe I can’t guarantee
the three,

but there’s at least two bills
in it for you

if you wanna wade
through this.

Another publicity job
for the studio?

-My biggest invest.
-Well, no thanks.

I’m halfway through my book.

Oh, halfway through
your miserable book.

Three-quarters through the soles
of your one pair of shoes.

Jimmy.

This is the literary life?

Thirty-five minutes from
Hollywood with all the comforts

-of an abandoned mineshaft.
-Jimmy.

Look, Lilacs,
go plant yourself someplace

until you’re ready
to bloom again.

I’m talking with a man.
Can’t you see that?

[Jimmy] Now, look--
Not here.

-My place, baby.
-Oh.

My place. You know the way,
don’t you? Huh?

-[laughing]
-Come on.

And don’t brush your teeth
with the vodka again.

Remember what
I told you last time?

[Stevie] Oh, that was
real sweet, Jimmy.

It gets a fella here.

Come off it.
Sentiment’s a waste of time.

Can you do something
for her?

Oh, what an awful question
to ask me.

[laughing]

Stevie boy,

you’re looking at a man
who just spent four solid hours

in the M.P.’s private office.

In whose office?

M.P., the owner,
the boss of the studio.

He listened to everything
I had to say,

and he said to me, M.P. did,
he said, "Jimmy,

this can be the biggest
public relations deal

since the invention
of the Easter bunny."

What can be?

The Betsy Blake thing.
What do you think?

Oh.

Well, you know what happened
to her, don’t you?

Well, sure, there hasn’t been
much else in the paper
for the past week.

She got herself killed
in a speedboat accident.

Just out beyond
Catalina Harbor, wasn’t it?

That’s right?

Her speedboat went head-on
to another speedboat,

killing Mr. Louis Fryer,
a fairly important citizen
in Pasadena, and herself.

But the most important thing
is this.

Until I had my talk with M.P.
this afternoon,

it looked like Betsy
had also sunk

a $6 million
Goliath Production

in living, breathing color,

and Audacio
the newest dimension in sound.

You mean that picture,
Splendor?

That’s right.
Well, it’s all wrapped up.

No more retakes.
The sets have been struck.

The whole thing is in a can.

Just two days before she goes
out and gets herself killed.

Well, that’s kind of tough
on Betsy, I suppose,

but how’s it gonna hurt
the picture?

I mean, you’ve had nothing
but publicity
for the past week.

It could help the picture.

Help it just great
if we were going
into distribution

today or tomorrow.

But the important thing is
that we are all set for

the late autumn release
around Thanksgiving,

to catch the holiday trade
and make a bid for the awards.

Well, that’s three months away.

By that time
all the excitement’s over.

The public interest is gonna be
as dead as Betsy Blake.

By November
you can change the title
to Asleep in the Deep.

[chuckling]
Well, she was a real dish
in her day, I’ll tell you that.

What makes you think
they’ll forget her so soon?

Are you kidding?

I was raised in this business,
Stevie boy. It’s in my blood.

I’ve got what M.P.
calls box-office instinct.

I can’t help it. Lights go on
and off inside of me.

-Do you know what I mean?
-Oh, save it, please.

Don’t start talking like
a Hollywood pioneer to me.

I happened to know you’re just
a fresh kid chasing

a rapid dollar.
You’re 23 years old.

How do you know?

That time two summers ago,
when the waiter

wouldn’t serve you a drink.

You had to show him
your driver’s license.

You were 21 at the time.

You think you’re pretty smart,
don’t you?

Well, I can add 21 and two.

You think you’re so smart
that you have to sit here

in this sun-kissed pigsty,
waiting for some kid like me

to bail you out of hock for
a couple hundred bucks, huh?

You can go now, Jimmy,
and take your money with you.

Nobody asked you
to come down here.

Can’t you take a joke?

Look, Stevie boy.

Why do you think I’m here,
huh?

Because you have to grind out
90 yards of copy

about Betsy Blake
and you haven’t got

the writing talent of
a backward high school boy.

An equally important reason is
you don’t want to people

who pay you a big fat salary
to find it out.

Well, it looks like we
understand each other, right?

I wouldn’t say that,
but we understand a few things

we mightn’t have
understood before.

But about Betsy Blake,

her body wasn’t recovered
until this morning, was it?

That’s right.
She washed up on the shore.

The identification
was positive.

Well, sure, well...
[laughs]

...naturally,
she couldn’t have looked like
Miss Palm Frond of 1943,

but the authorities
were satisfied.

That’s what I told M.P.
this afternoon.

I said, "That wraps it up."

That makes it official.
The mystery’s gone.

A month from now,
people won’t remember

whether it was Betsy Blake
or Betty Boop that went

for a ride in that speedboat.

They won’t remember unless--

and that’s when
the inspiration hit me, Steve.

What inspiration?

I pointed to a picture
hanging on the wall

in M.P.’s office,
and said to him,

"There’s your solution
right there,"

and was a picture
of Mr. Rudolph Valentino.

M.P. got the message.

What’s Valentino got to do
with it?

Death, man.

Death turned Rudolph Valentino
into a legend, that’s what M.P.

was able to understand.

Some smart people saw to it
that Rudy had

the most sensational funeral
this country ever saw, up to,

but not including,
the burial of Miss Betsy Blake.

What was done
for the screen’s greatest lover

certainly can be done
for Madame Mystery.

-Madame who?
-Madame Mystery, some name

they pinned on her a few years
back when she was, um...

-Mysterious?
-Yeah, mysterious.

This thing that I’m about to
create, Stevie boy, is an ark

that’s gonna really
be able to float.

We’re gonna bury Betsy Blake
like she was Mother Machree,

Sweet Georgia Brown, Cleopatra,
the Sweetheart of Sigma Chi,

Salome,
all wrapped up into one.

I’m going out, boy.
I’m going way, way out.

And it’s gonna make
a big man in this town.

I can just see it.

Then we go into
the spook department.

You’ll hear it around
for a little while,

and then you’ll see
the first printed rumor--

Is Betsy Blake still alive?

Now, how you can getaway
with that

when she’s being buried
this week?

[Jimmy]
That’s the mystery angle, man.

You-- You’ve got
no imagination.

We know she’s dead.

We know she’s gone
like an old dropped lemon pie,

but you got to realize
she’s been floating around

in the water for a week
and she didn’t look like--

[Stevie] You can skip
the details.

I keep forgetting
you’re sensitive.

Meanwhile...

I’m juggling a couple
other ideas for this campaign.

"The Real Betsy Blake"

and "The Betsy Blake
Nobody Knows."

-What do you think of that?
-Depends.

I guess you can get a lot
of mileage out of

"The Betsy Blake
That Nobody Knows."

Did you know her?

Are you kidding? I handled
her publicity for years.

Oh, at your age?

Look, will you lay off
my age?

Maybe Stalzbuck took the bows
as head of promotion,

but it was me, Stevie,
little Jimmy here,

that was digging in there
with that spade.

That’s what M.P.
was able to understand.

Why do you think he gave me
this big chance for, anyway?

Now, does that satisfy you?

Look, it’s no skin
off my nose.

But, incidentally,
how old was Betsy Blake?

Well [chuckles] let’s say
she was no spring chicken,

but she kept her feathers
nice and smooth.

Seems to me she was around
a pretty long time.

Look, Stevie boy,
I’ve got to have a prospectus

in M.P.’s hands
by Monday morning.

I’m counting on you, pal,
to help me
with the fancy prose.

So he’ll think you wrote it?

OK, I’ll level with you.

That 200 bucks comes out
of my pocket.

So what? So who cares?

So it’ll take you off
the K-rations for a while,

and you can go back
to your corny book

with your stomach full.

No, the answer is no.

You know how I feel about
razzle-dazzle promotions

of this kind.

[laughs]

Three hundred bucks
on the table.

[sigh]

One, two, three.

Now, there could be a bonus
in this for you, Stevie,

as soon as the picture
comes out.

You might even be able
to get your plumbing fixed.

Now, what do you say?
Last chance.

Tell me some more
about Betsy Blake.

Well, look, I gotta be
knocking off.

I’ll leave the tools
inside there for you.

You know, it gets dark
pretty early down here
in November.

You, uh-- You don’t get
lonesome down here
all by yourself, do you?

Nah, it’s one of those things.

-[tires screeching]
-Well I-- Uh-oh.

I forgot it was Friday night.

That must be the genius.

[horn honks]

I don’t see no chorus line
of broads down there.

-You think he’s sick?
-You’ll have to ask him.

He’s got a convertible
out there as long
as a hook and ladder.

Public Relations Manager
for Goliath Pictures, huh?

Well,

Steve, tell me something,
will you?

How does a young punk his age
hold on to a job like that?

You think he knows where
some bodies are buried?

You got me.

I’ll let you know
if I ever find out.

I’ll see you.

Oh! Alfredo, my good man,
how are you?

What’s with him?

His daughter brought home

Love Secrets
from Beyond the Grave.

You’re kidding?

Hey, you know those, uh,

phony fan clubs
I organized eight weeks ago?

-That I remember.
-Well, they ain’t phony no more.

I got 50,000 love-sick
volunteers

gazing into their tea leaves

and their Betsy Blake
Voodoo Rings.

Do you think I’m kidding you?

What about your conscience?

My what? Oh, my conscience!
Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you.

I swapped it to the Daughters
of Salvation for a bass drum.

We open up nationwide next week,
Stevie boy.

No sneak previews or test
patterns for my sky-rocket.

Just solid bookings
right across the nation.

Do you think M.P. doesn’t know
who wrapped this package up?

[Jimmy] I’ve got a contract
in my pocket

that he gave this afternoon.

I don’t wanna shock you, pal.

But the salary figures read
like the roundtrip mileage
to the moon.

Congratulations.

Love Secrets
from Beyond the Grave.

How do you like that?

And Madame Mystery,no less.

And I was Betsy Blake’s
Astrologist.

I’m telling you,
it’s killing me.

The best thing that washed-out,
platinum-rinsed old pelican

ever did in her life was
to ram her speedboat

into that jerk from Pasadena.
What was-- Mr.--

[woman]
Mr. Fryer of Pasadena, Jimmy.

Mr. Louis Fryer
was the gentleman’s name.

I think the next episode
should be the cutest one,
don’t you?

The Return of Betsy Blake.

Do you have to stare at me
like that?

[Jimmy] That’s not possible.
You’ve got no right--

Sure, it was thoughtless of me.
I should have stayed dead.

Old bag comes stumbling back
after 90 days,

with her hair three
different colors

and a poached-egg look
in each eye.

-Listen, I--
-You don’t say anymore.

Just keep your mouth shut!

You’ve got a kind face, dear.

Stupid but compassionate.

You got a little drink
for little old Madame Mystery?

Yeah, there’s some.
I--

Don’t apologize to Betsy,
angel boy.

I spotted it already.

-This all you got?
-Afraid so.

Oh, I’m sorry to take
all your vitamins, dear.

Remind me to get you
a case someday.

That’s much, much better.

I haven’t had a drink
in an hour and a half.

Well, Junior, maybe I
can tell you what this
is all about.

Actually, well, the newspapers

didn’t have anything right,
except Louis Fryer’s name
and my own.

-[cackles] I had to laugh!
-Laugh someplace else.

-Come on, let’s go.
-No, no, no let her talk.

Eh, you weren’t
in a speedboat accident?

Oh, sure! We hit, all right.

I went into Louie Fryer
and his girlfriend

like a torpedo.

"The Blonde Torpedo,"
they used to call me.

You remember that, Jim?

Louie Fryer’s girlfriend?
What girlfriend?

Well, like I was gonna tell you,
see, there was this doll.

Uh, some floozy
that he must’ve picked up
on the beach.

That was Louie Fryer for you,
every time.

She was blonde,
and so I supposed
people figured her for me,

especially after seven days
in the water.

Go on.

This is gonna kill you, Junior.

There must’ve been a lot of cork
in the stuff I drank that day

because I just wasn’t easy
to sink.

A fishing trawler
picked me up.

An old tub out of San Diego
with a new coat of paint.

[laughs] Must have looked
a little bit like me, huh?

Well, anyway, it was on its way
to Seattle.

A Swede by the name of Eric
fished me out of the channel.

He was a sort of a...

blond Humphrey Bogart
with muscles.

[laughs] He mixed his own booze
in an oil drum. [laughs]

We were the only one
on board.

Best three months I had
in my whole life.

It’s not possible.

It’s just not possible!

Well, you stick to your dreams,
Junior, and I’ll stick to mine.

It was a whole week before we
saw the Seattle newspapers.

Eric brought a stack
onboard and laughed,

and I thought we’d split
the deck.

I shouldn’t imitate
Eric’s accent,
but when he said...

[imitating Swedish accent]
"Where do we go from here?"

I took one look at that
Nordic rooster and said,

"As far away from Goliath
Studios as you can sail
this tub!"

So we took off.

For three months?

Why not? Worse vacation
I’ve ever had in my whole life.

Nobody around to say,
"Betsy, watch the calories,

Betsy, lay off the grape."

So what if I did gain weight?
[scoffs]

We’d have been gone three years
if he hadn’t have run out
of cash.

And I plan to change that
just as soon as I get
to my safe deposit box.

But there’s one thing, Junior.
You did a great publicity job!

I especially enjoyed
the accounts of my own funeral.

I liked the magazine articles,
too.

Um, Love Secrets
from Beyond the Grave.

Eric liked that one, too.

What’s the matter? You don’t
look happy, Jim-precious.

Should I? Now?

Come on, I need a drink
more than you do.

Well, anybody’s booze
is better than no booze.

I’ll see you later, Steve.
There’ll something I wanna

talk to you about,
you know what I mean?

-[Jimmy] So?
-[Betsy] Looks like a course
built for goats.

But not a goat
as old as this one, huh?

You had to ruin it,
didn’t you?

You had to come back
and hog your way into the act?

Well, I had it made.
Do you hear me?

I had it all wrapped up
at Goliath.

I was man of the year
until you come in here

looking like something
from Halloween.

Thank you, tell me more.

I’ll tell you more,
but it won’t be any news
to you.

You had to come back
and take your curtain call

and take the shine off
the only success
I ever made on my own.

Well, that’s Betsy for you.
Good old Betsy Blake.

While I worked like
a pig in a pit to
put this promotion on.

I went without rest for 90 days
to turn an old crow like you

into a bird of paradise,
and whammy,

right into the tin can
the old crow comes
stumbling home.

You are sweet, Jimmy,
real sweet.

I should have remembered that.

Well, if you don’t believe me,
ask M.P.

He told me this afternoon that
when they talk about legends,

they’re not gonna talk about
Valentino or Jimmy Dean.

They’re gonna say
it all started

with Jimmy Dolan
and Betsy Blake.

I turned your rotten picture
into a guaranteed success.

That’s who did it! Me! Me!

I made you, took your
nickelodeon talent
and turned it

into the kind of success
that the public would buy.

Listen, you couldn’t have gotten
into Goliath Studios

with a pistol and a crowbar
if it hadn’t have been for me.

You had the brains of a moth
and the personality of a cobra

when I went to M.P.
and told him

he had to give you a job.

What do you want me to do
for you

that I haven’t done already?

[screams]

Steve.

[sobs]

[Steve] Hey, what’s
the matter with you?

Where’s Betsy?

What makes you think
that old dame was Betsy Blake?

[laughs]
Come on, come off it.

How many drinks did you have?

Suppose--

Suppose for the sake
of an idea I had,

suppose it wasn’t her.

Look, I’ve been
to the movies too many times.

By her voice,
the way she talks--

Where is Betsy now?

There was an accident.

And it wasn’t my fault.

She was hurt?

Is she dead?

-Well, is she?
-Steve, you’ve got to help me.

Like I said,
it wasn’t my fault.
She had it coming to her.

Yeah, Jimmy?

I don’t mean that.
What I mean--
I mean, she was drunk.

Steve, you gotta help me.
She-She tripped and she fell.

Why did you kill her?

Why?

The greatest publicity job
in the last 20 years,

and she turns it into a farce!

Do you know for certain
that she’s dead?

She’s dead.

I--

I tried to-- I tried to drag
her away from my place.

But I couldn’t.

I heard people walking along
the beach,

and I got scared
and I came here.

Steve, you gotta help me,
please!

Sure, I’ll help you.
You’re such a real nice kid.

I’ll call the cops
and have them come and take
the body away.

No! Steve, she’s no good.
She’s a drunk.

She’s a lie. She’s no good.
I’ve got five grand at home.

$5,000 that I got as a bonus
from this campaign.

It’s all yours
if you’ll just help me!

As far as anybody’s concerned,
Betsy Blake’s been dead

for three months!

You can help me.

Help me move the body
and put it in the trunk
of my car.

Get me the police.

You’d kill your own mother
to be a big man

of Goliath Studios,
wouldn’t you?

My mother?

That’s right, Stevie.

But how did you know
that’s who she was?

So much for our
ode to mother love.

I must say, it was a pleasant
change to meet Jimmy Dolan.

Here’s a boy unsullied
by any Oedipus complex,

not tied by any silver cord,

unfettered
by any sentimental claptrap.

Just a healthy, happy,
well-adjusted killer.

It’s all very refreshing.

And now for those of you
who are accustomed

to enjoying television,

here is something that
is also refreshingly different.

After which I’ll be back.

By the way, I’m no longer
in the credit card business.

Someone was flooding
the country with exact
reproductions

of our cards.

When I discovered the culprit
was the government,

I thought it best
to bow out gracefully.

As for or story, I must say

it was a pleasant change
to meet Jimmy Dolan.

Here was a boy unsullied
by any Oedipus complex,

not tied by any silver cord,

unfettered
by any sentimental claptrap.

Just a healthy, happy,
well-adjusted killer.

However, Jimmy subsequently
had a bit of bad luck.

He met with an accident
in his home and died,

as a result of a fall.

He tripped over his grandmother
while he was attempting

to throw her down a flight
of stairs.

Very sad.

Next time I shall return
with another story

equally uplifting.

Until then, goodnight.