Original subtitles

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[Violin playing dramatically]

Good evening, miss Lake.

[Full orchestra playing]

[Muffled scream]

Oh!

Ohh.

Mmm.

Mmm.

[Squeaking]

Uhh.

♪♪♪

♪

[Bawling]

This is so sad!

[Crying]

[Electric guitar grinds]

[Playing Jimi Hendrix's version of star-spangled banner]

Whoopee! Yay!

Ryan! Ryan!

Crowd: Ryan! Ryan!

Ryan! Ryan!

Cass: Please, let me through.

Please.

Ryan! Ryan!

Ryan! Ryan!

[Wolf whistle]

Bravo, I say.

Ryan rules!

Congratulations.

Thank you, thank you.

Crowd: Ryan! Ryan! Ryan!

Here you go.

Uhh. Mitsubishi.

Mr. Harrison.

Here you go.

Yeah, this big thing, yeah.

Ryan: Uhh.

Lamb chop: Ryan! Ryan!

Ryan! Ryan!

Ryan! Ryan! Ryan!

[Applause]

Thank you, thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. Nice talking with you.

Mm-hmm. Thank you, Ryan.

Thank you.

Cass lake.

No. Uh, Ryan Harrison.

You're mixing me up with some woman.

I'd love to have you sit for me sometime.

Are you a dog trainer?

No.

Portraits.

I've seen every one of your concerts.

Your music moved me.

Nothing like a good movement.

Ohh-ho! Oh, Allah!

Oh, my balls!

Muslim prayers.

That must be east.

[Man moaning]

Well, excuse me.

My hand! Ow!

Ryan: Hibbing Goodhue.

Maestro Harrison.

Welcome.

Thank you for inviting me.

I need to talk to you.

Cass, I have guests.

It's been a privilege sponsoring your concerts.

I'm eternally grateful to my husband

for bringing you into my life,

Mr. Ryan Harrison.

I think this deserves a kiss, don't you?

Ryan: Ah.

I've never missed one of your concerts.

Hibbing, however, wasn't at Friday's.

It was a high colonic.

Yes. A Jewish holiday. Mazel tov.

Uh, yes.

I'll just round us up some drinks.

I, um...

How dare you!

How could you ignore my note?

All I want is for you to reconsider. Hibbing, please.

Hibbing: Oh, stuff and nonsense.

Ryan.

Go dash some mineral water on your face

and buck up!

You deserve a real man's drink.

Bottoms up.

I know mine will be.

Hibbing: Good-bye, darling.

Lauren: Have a safe flight.

Could you please open the gate for me?

[Tires skid, car crashes]

Never mind.

[Kissing]

Ryan, what are you doing?

Your dog certainly has a surprised look on his face.

Well, that's because you're looking at his butt.

[Dog groans]

Oh, oh. Then he's certainly not going to enjoy

that treat that I just fed to him.

[Dog barks]

Well, I guess I better be...

I don't think so.

[Keys sliding down metal chute]

[Keys hit bottom]

Now they're safe.

I thought I might, uh, go for a swim.

Would you care to join me?

I have a suit for you.

Mrs. Goodhue, I think that we should say good-bye now.

No, please.

My head is spinning like a dreidel in a sandstorm.

I should go...

Kissing you... makes me think about your husband.

You do like women?

Of course.

But you're a married one. I'm not.

Hibbing won't be back for 3 days.

Stay. You don't know what you're missing.

I used to lick envelopes for a living.

Those long Manila ones.

I'm not wearing any underwear.

Oh!

Mmm.

[Violin playing dramatically]

[Cheering]

Car alarm: Intruder. Intruder.

Step away from the car. Step away from the car.

Step away...

System deactivated.

Get into the car. Get into the car.

Get into the car.

[Starts engine]

[Revs engine]

Lauren: Ryan darling, why are you leaving me?

Hibbing is out of town. If I don't see you tonight,

I'm prepared to take my own life.

I am desperate!

And I'm out of milk.

Can you pick up a half gallon of two percent on the way?

Yours in adultery, Lauren.

Ruth Kimble in New York,

and I'm speaking with United Nations secretary general

Sir Robert Mckintyre.

I'd like to thank our mutual friend Hibbing Goodhue

for arranging this interview.

Hibbing has been my good friend

since our school days

at cherry pants upon buttocks.

He's invited you to come to Columbia heights

to make an important speech.

A speech that will have terrorists peeing their pants.

Quite. I am forming a multinational strike force

whose sole purpose is to tear

at the very heart of terrorism

by seeking out and destroying

their sanctuaries and training compounds.

I will be placing every terrorist on alert

that their days are indeed numbered.

Yes.

[Changing stations] Lesbian...

Man: Oral...

Woman: Used to masturbate...

Second woman: Nymphomaniac Siamese twins

who cheat with each other's husbands.

But first, it's official.

The United Nations secretary general sir Robert Mckintyre

will be in Columbia heights on the twelfth of this month

as guest of Hibbing Goodhue.

Sir Robert will be speaking at our Colombia heights jamboree

and will be the highlight

of this year's celebration of Scottish heritage.

The braveroy pipe and drill team...

[Radio station changes to quiet music]

It's you.

Well, I've been drinking several toasts

to your honor tonight, my dear.

Yes, to the great deceiver.

You never loved me.

You only wanted me for my connection with Mckintyre

and for my quiet shoreline:

The perfect place to land a small group of terrorists.

This is about assassination.

Turn that bloody radio off.

[Cocks gun]

Oh, please. That's far too melodramatic.

Ouch!

[Gunshots]

Ohh!

Aah!

Ohh!

[Car alarm chirps]

[Gunshots continue]

Bloody hell.

Have you quite finished?

[Splash]

Mmm.

Mmm.

[Thunder]

[Car approaching]

Ryan: Lauren.

Ryan: I read your note.

I'm not here to play games, Lauren.

Where are you?

Lauren?

Lau-oh!

I want you to understand.

There's nothing between us.

You're not Lauren.

You're an impostor.

"Hylander"?

Goodhue.

Where the hell were you?

You made a mess of things.

At least you did your job.

Goodhue knew too much. He had to die.

As for this sorry sod,

you've given the authorities Hibbing's murderer.

I expect we'll move forward with no further interference

with operation hylander...

The killing of the U.N.'s Mckintyre.

Aah!

Police radio: We have a code 3 break-in at 47 Jefferson.

2 suspects...

Say cheese.

Cop: Who's that? Where'd he come from?

Jeez, he's got a gun!

Get the gun!

You have the right to remain silent.

Anything you say may be held against you.

One nation indivisible till death do us part.

Vanadder?

Yeah?

Take this blood sample to the lab,

and don't go walking around with it all day.

Up yours.

Get him in the car.

All right, people, get him in the car.

[Shouting questions]

Stand back, people. Give him some air.

Hold 'em back, hold 'em back.

I'm innocent.

I've been wrongfully accused.

Guilt or innocence, that's not my job.

It's my duty to pick up

scum-sucking punks like yourself

who are accused of a crime.

A jury of 12 really stupid people

who are easily swayed by rich, fat-cat, slimy lawyers

who will do anything but tell the truth

will sit in judgment of you.

It's as American as a burrito.

Ryan and I were having sex.

Hot, steamy, sweaty sex.

Every part of my body tingled, orgasm after orgasm.

Lady, I just asked for your name.

Oh, um, Mrs. Hibbing Goodhue.

I was weak to Ryan's charms.

He wanted me to leave Hibbing.

He said he just wanted to talk to him.

I can't believe he killed him.

I came home late last night,

and there he was.

Now I'm gonna have to start dating again.

[Reporters shouting questions]

OK, everybody, come on. Let the car through.

Step back, back, back.

Aah!

[Gavel bangs]

Judge: Ryan Harrison, a jury of your peers

have found you guilty of murder.

On August 12 at Stillwater federal prison,

you shall have your sentence carried out.

You shall be executed buffet style.

Lethally injected, electrocuted,

and placed before a firing squad.

And may god have mercy on your soul,

you bastard, you.

Pre-recorded woman's voice: Seats in the upright position.

Handcuffs and ankle chains must be securely fastened

or you will be shot.

Exits are clearly marked,

but you will not be using them.

Should you use them, you will be shot.

On behalf of the state of Minnesota,

thank you for being arrested and convicted.

Sit back and enjoy your bus ride.

I'm not gonna take it any longer.

I'm gonna fight back.

I am going to prove that I am not guilty.

Shut up!

No! I've been wrongfully accused.

Ooh!

How dare you, sir.

How dare you!

No, how dare you!

No, no! How dare you!

How dare you "no, no" my how dare you!

You dare to dare me?

How dare you how dare me when I how dare you,

you big pee-pee head?

You are the pee-pee head.

Mr. Booger lips. Ca-ca mouth.

Shut up!

I'll not shut up! You'll never shut me up!

Aah!

Whoa!

Woman: Hey, you pee-pee head!

Aah!

[Noises like pinball machine]

Ohh!

Ohh!

Aah!

Ohh!

Hey, I can't see.

Man: Take the wastebasket off your head.

I still can't see.

Man: Take the other one off.

Ohh!

Oh, that's better.

Man: Get the keys.

Take off the cuffs.

Second man: Ohh, my shoe's untied.

Third man: Ohh, my shirt's out.

[Train whistle blows]

Whoo whoo?

Whoo?

Oh, no.

A train.

Prisoners: A train?!

Thank you!

Thank you!

Thank you!

[Train whistle blows]

Uh-oh.

Ohh!

[Train whistle blows]

[Train whistle blows]

[Rings bicycle bell]

Oh, no!

Aah!

[Train whistle blows]

Aah!

[Train whistle blows]

[Train whistle blows]

[Signal bells ringing]

[Relieved laugh]

Orono, Bagley.

This looks like a trailer park

after a tornado.

Speak to me, people.

Orono: One prisoner was missing.

It's a Ryan...

Harrison.

The man who killed Hibbing Goodhue.

Oh, lord. This has more twists and turns

than chubby checker in a blender.

So we got us a murderer on the loose.

All right, listen up, people.

Our man will be on foot and running.

A man that's tired, a man that's possibly hurt

will have a stride of 4 feet, 2 3/4 inches

while wearing boxer shorts.

4 feet even with the restrictions of a brief,

which means he will cover 4 miles in one hour.

He's got an hour and 3/4 start on us.

He'll take to the nearest highway.

He'll commandeer a car or hop on a truck.

Now, the average elevation in this area is over 2,057 feet,

2 1/4 inches,

with one exception.

He will take any chances,

do anything to stay a free man:

Climb, hike, rappel.

Hell, even fall down a damn mountain.

It's a wilderness out there,

so this citified sophisticate better watch himself.

He's in the heart of bear country.

[Roars]

This fiddle player will be hungry, famished, starved.

His last meal was 12 hours ago.

This boy's on the run. He'll head for the city,

a large city.

He'll try to lose himself in a crowd.

And wherever he goes,

he will feel hundreds of eyes staring his way.

No matter what he does, no matter where he goes,

he will feel hunted, and, my friends,

you are looking at the hunter.

Bagley? Sir.

I want roadblocks around a 10-mile radius.

Set up communication with all law enforcement.

That's state, county, city.

Give me governor Carlson.

I may need the national guard.

Diet coke, no ice.

All right, people, I want Harrison caught

in 4 hours and 28 minutes.

That will make it exactly high noon.

Now let's move it, move it, move it, move it!

Move it, people! Move it!

Nelson and I are heading towards Wisetta

by way of peck's woods.

So far no sign of Harrison. Over.

Dispatcher: 10-4, unit 6.

Swedish accent: How you doing there?

Uh, fine.

These are on sale, right?

Sure, yeah. 32.50, OK, uh-huh.

You betcha, sure, uh-huh.

Doing some fishing around here?

Yes.

Yeah, I'm gonna do a little angling.

See if I can't catch one of those...

Uh, big, uh...

Mouth fish in Minnesota.

And some of those huge huskies, too.

So, Roman,

are you still fishing off gray's bay?

Catching any walleyes,

muskies or enemy boats?

Uh-huh, sure. You betcha.

I've told you that umpteen times.

A guy in a rubber type boat was headed

for the Goodhue place, you know.

Yeah, sure, uh-huh, uh-huh.

OK, then?

Sure. After how many beers?

I ain't touched a drop of liquor

since I quit singing with Abba.

Was that the night of the Hibbing Goodhue murder?

Yeah.

You seem awful interested in this case.

No.

Do you know something about the killing?

Do you have any real stories to tell us?

No. I'll take the rod,

and I'll write out a check. You have a pen?

Thank you.

[Telephone rings]

You know, I've never seen you around here, Mr...

Uh, buzz'n.

Buzz'n frog.

Born on the shores of the Urilava river in Rapala.

Couple of husky jerks brought me to slimy slug, south Dakota,

up there by timber doodle.

The Zebco brothers... Smithwick and, uh...

Salty dog shrimp.

Oh, I can't go fishing this afternoon.

I've got a big meeting over at, uh...

Mensroom.

I'd forget my genitals

if they weren't superglued in-between my legs.

Water-skiing accident.

Freeze, Harrison!

Don't move.

Hmm.

You know, I've never seen you around here, Mr...

Ryan: Uh, buzz'n.

Buzz'n frog.

Born on the shores of the Urilava river in Rapala.

Up there by timber doodle.

Salty dog shrimp.

I've got a big meeting over at, uh...

Mensroom.

There's got to be something here,

some clue somewhere.

[Grunting]

[Grunting]

Ryan.

What are you doing here? How did you get in?

The door was open.

I locked that door. A key.

Lauren is missing, she gave you a key

and sent you here to do some evidence housecleaning.

No. I painted Hibbing's portrait.

He gave me this key to let myself in.

I have no idea where Lauren is.

The killer could be stalking her.

Stalking schmalking.

She lied about me on the witness stand.

She set me up to come here the night of the murder.

No. She couldn't do anything like that.

Coulda, woulda, shoulda, she did-a.

I understand her, you see.

I think she's my sister.

Sister?

It's like a brother, only you do each other's hair.

I think she's in grave danger. I came to look for clues.

Ryan, I know you're innocent.

You really mean that?

I mean, this is not just another way to meet guys?

I'm a friend.

Oh. I wish that we could be friends. I...

But women and me

are like water and fire.

Wet and flammable.

No, no.

You hang out with me,

and you're gonna get hurt.

No.

Hooh!

It was all mine.

The city was at my feet,

spread out like an oyster.

People bravo-ed, they ovated.

I was somebody, I was a contender.

Now all I've got

is a one-way ticket to Palookaville.

[Crack]

It's got to be that the answer

is here somewhere.

The party... Drinks... drinking...

Bar...

There's something about the bartender.

Close your eyes.

The bartender.

Hibbing's killer!

You...

With the killer.

[Siren]

Good lord.

The bus stop at helms is the 5:50 express.

It stops right in front of the Goodhue house.

Scour the entire area.

Orono, chase the car and put it in park.

Bagley, I want everyone interrogated.

I want surnames, last names, given names,

confirmation names.

Give me photo analysis, footprint analysis,

DNA, bra sizes.

I'll check out who owns this truck.

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

[Whirring]

I need a backup unit, a roadblock,

and a helicopter.

Harrison?

Where's that gardener?

Bagley! Orono!

[Squeak, pop]

That's our man!

She meant to do that.

Pfft. Women.

[Rustling]

We got us a gopher.

[Straining]

I'll see where this thing comes out.

Call the department of water...

Hey!

[Knocks on door]

[Heartbeat]

Hands up!

[Suction]

It's over, Harrison.

But I'm innocent.

The one-armed, one-legged, one-eyed man, the bartender,

he was the one who killed Hibbing Goodhue,

and Lauren Goodhue is working with him.

Why, I don't know.

Why? I don't know.

But I'll find them. I've got clues.

I've got a map, I've got the name hylander,

and a rubber boat. They all prove

that I've been wrongfully accused.

Nice tune, but I didn't come here to dance.

You've been convicted of murder.

I'm taking you in.

No. I'm not going back,

wherever it is.

Ow!

Wait! Harrison!

Fergus: Man in the water!

[Rock music begins]

♪ Some people stand in the darkness ♪

♪ afraid to step into the light ♪

♪ some people need ♪

[Squeak]

♪ To help somebody ♪

♪ when the edge of surrender's inside ♪

[Boing boing]

♪ Don't you worry ♪

[Boing boing]

♪ It's gonna be all right ♪

Ooh, cold! Cold! Cold!

♪ 'Cause I'm always ready ♪

♪ I won't let you out of my sight ♪

What the hell is all that rubber-boat

and hylander stuff about?

Orono, call the coast guard.

Hylander. Hylander.

Well!

Peek-a-boo, baby.

Don't move.

I've got a gun.

Not here, but I got one.

You frightened?

You ran away, you remember?

You can move now.

Yes, I was frightened.

I've been driving all over the city

searching for you.

Well, you found me. Hide-and-seek is over.

The school bell has rung. Time to go back to the homeroom.

Whatever you do, don't scream.

Aah!

Like that.

[Elevator bell dinging]

Ryan, you can feel safe here.

We're 6 floors up. No one can see you.

Woman: Hey, Cass,

who's your new friend?!

Sit down, pancakes.

Of all the women in all the world,

you had to walk into mine.

Ohh.

You know, I'm sure if we just...

Talk and talk all night, we can work this out.

Sure, slappy.

Let's pull out that wad of cotton

and get right to the aspirin.

You hired a hit man. You wanted Hibbing dead.

I saw the two of you arguing,

and you were sizzling like a wiener on a hibachi.

That's because Hibbing told me

that he hated the portrait I did of him.

It hurt. A deep, crampy kind of a hurt.

That's why I was so upset.

I was even gonna kill myself, but I couldn't.

I threw the gun in the bay.

We don't have time for this schoolgirl act.

We're both of us sitting under the gallows.

You're not telling me the truth.

Explain to me why you gave the killer the money.

That was Hibbing's money for the portrait.

I gave it to the bartender to give back to Hibbing.

I never wanted to see Hibbing again.

You're lies are like bananas.

They come in big yellow bunches.

I wish there was something I could do

to make you believe me.

[Squeegee, squeegee]

Damn you.

Damn you for making me fall in love with you.

I can't let you get mixed up in this.

I want to get mixed up in it.

I can't do it to you.

I want you to do it to me.

I'm a hunted man.

Every time I think that I'm out,

they pull me back in.

Hunt me. Pull me.

Ryan, you can't do this on your own.

I have to.

Now, listen, I'm going out that door,

and where I'm going you can't follow me,

and I'm not trying to be noble,

but, baby, out there, it's a hill of beans.

Here's looking at you, kid.

You're the stuff dreams are made of.

Oh.

You see? You're exhausted.

Listen, I'm gonna give you a sponge bath,

give you a bracing enema and make you something to eat.

Just put your weight on me. I'll take you into the bedroom.

Come on.

Enema? Ohh!

Nat king Cole: ♪ when I fall in love ♪

♪ it will be forever ♪

♪ or I'll never fall ♪

♪ in love ♪

[Clattering]

♪ In a restless world ♪

♪ like this is ♪

♪ love is ended ♪

♪ before it's begun ♪

♪ and too many moonlight kisses ♪

♪ seem to cool in the warmth of the sun ♪

Hey!

Ay!

♪ When I give my heart ♪

Ooh!

♪ It will be completely ♪

♪ or I'll never give ♪

♪ my heart ♪

Mmm.

♪ And the moment ♪

♪ I can feel that ♪

Aah!

♪ You feel that way, too ♪

♪ is when I fall in love ♪

Chick Hearn on TV: It's nervous time,

and time is running out.

Hey, we got a fast break.

He's blocked from entering the Lane.

He holds up. He's on the dribble.

Yo-yoing up and down, up and down, up and down.

He checks the clock. Time is running out.

He's been in the paint for a long time.

Oh, he's going for it.

Shoots. Off the iron. Rebound. Put it up.

It's dangling on the rim.

No, yes, no, yes, no.

Rebound. He's going for it.

The mustard's off the hot dog!

Another rebound. No harm, no foul.

He pops up a long one. Nothing but net.

Oh, yes! He scores!

This one's in the refrigerator,

the door's closed, the lights are out,

the eggs are coolin',

the butter's gettin' hard, and the jell-o is jigglin'.

Bagley: A picnicker said she saw a man

wet and dripping walk this way.

Gather up all these leaves for trace evidence.

Shoot and gut every animal in the park.

Their stomachs might contain something

that could be a clue.

Donate the meat to charity.

Hides could be turned into warm socks for the poor.

Grind up the bones for dog food.

I want nothing wasted.

Uh-huh. Well, here we are.

A man's footprint.

The depth of the print

indicating the weight and the height of Harrison.

Heh. Tire tracks.

Tire tracks of the kind found

in the classic Mercedes Benz convertible.

The car of choice...

For a bright, young professional woman.

An artist.

Maybe a photographer, painter.

A woman with a mysterious past.

A woman who is looking for someone.

Yeah. I can feel it.

I'm as sure about that as I am that that's an anaconda.

Hey.

That woman who cut us off in the Mercedes...

That fits her to a "t."

License number 381jpl.

Davy Crockett died for our sins.

Harrison's had somebody helping him all along!

Call motor vehicles. Get her address.

We'll pick her up.

No. No, no.

There are better ways to find out what a woman knows.

Dinner and a movie, lie to her,

say you love her.

That works, but in this case,

we're gonna stake out her place.

She's gonna lead us to Ryan Harrison.

Bagley!

[Gunshot]

I'm coming.

OK, guys.

Ah.

TV: Penningson & Saks presents old people on ice,

now through November at the Marney ice ArenA.

Good afternoon. I'm Ruth Kimble with your hometown news.

For 36 hours, Ryan Harrison, murderer, all-around big dink,

has been a fugitive.

Lieutenant Fergus falls

is heading the worldwide manhunt.

Police helicopters, dogs, psychics,

and thousands of police are involved,

plus, millions of average citizens

who would give their left nut to collect the $50,000 reward.

And who couldn't use a bit of extra money?

A couple on a fixed income? A teacher?

Especially a struggling artist who had to return a large fee

because someone hated her portrait.

I personally wouldn't trust someone like that

for a million billion trillion dollars.

The Columbia heights jamboree is shaping...

Cass: We're on the sixth floor.

Apartment 602.

What?

No. He's alone.

Well.

Well, well.

You don't understand. This can't wait.

This has to happen right now.

Ryan: Sean laughrea...

Hibbing's killer.

Yes. Thank you.

Fergus: Harrison, open up! I know you're in there!

It's the police!

Harrison! Come here!

Cass: Don't go in there! What are you doing?

Fergus: Harrison!

Ryan, Ryan, open up!

Ryan, I've got a gun.

Come on!

Ryan! Let me in right now.

Ryan, come out.

Uhh.

Is that my toilet? Ryan!

Fergus: Harder!

Cass: Open up! You'll never get away, Ryan.

Cass: Ryan!

Ohh.

Fergus: It's starting to give.

Aah!

[Ryan gagging and pounding on door]

Ryan: Help!

Fergus: Go!

[Charlie's angels theme plays]

All right, my angels, move!

Bagley: Patio clear!

Ivy needs water!

Orono: Den is clear!

I got spaghetti!

Watch it. Plate could be hot!

I got a shut door!

Empty.

We throw a shoe every time we start to gallop.

That man's as slick as a lizard in Jerry Lewis' hair.

Cass lake, face of an angel.

Harrison's accomplice.

A caterpillar has 2,087 minute hairs on each leg,

but for the life of me,

I cannot tell you why women keep falling for the wrong man.

All right, people, tag and log everything.

I want carpet fibers, I want wallpaper swatches,

I want all plumbing and wood surfaces analyzed,

so vacuum, cut, chip, and suck.

There are 2 things that frost my butt...

It's a snow cone about that high

and the other one is Ryan Harrison.

I don't hear it, people!

[Whirring]

[Moaning]

[Coughs]

Aah!

[Driver falls on horn]

Uhh. Uhh.

Uhh!

Uhh!

Ohh!

Ohh. Ohh.

[Siren]

[Squeak]

Pediatrics is just down the street.

Mm-hmm. Thank you.

[Thud]

P.A.: Dr. Kimble to surgery, please.

Dr. Kimble.

Dr. Kevorkian.

Dr. Kevorkian to Mr. Simpson's room.

[Explosion]

Man: A volcano has erupted!

Second man: Tornado!

Woman: Earthquake!

Man: It's El niño!

Woman: Killer bees!

Woman: An ocean liner hit an iceberg!

Thank god you're here.

Uh, Dr. Sanchez, because of cutbacks,

you are the only person on duty.

Uh-huh.

He's pregnant.

Doctor, this man has been shot 5 times.

Down at the end in the "10 bullets or less" Lane.

I'll... I'll adjust that.

Maximum flow.

[Moaning]

Doctor, you better take a look at this.

Uh, no, thank you.

Administer 200,000 units of, uh, adrenaline.

But...

Butt? Damn your butt.

I said 200,000 ccs of adrenaline.

Balance and rotate the organs.

Put granny on the gurney. Put the cop in post-op.

Icu?

And I see you. You're a fine nurse.

I want to speak to you.

Oh, isn't that a little fester blister

just below your eye there?

Fester? Is it dangerous?

Let me get a good look at that.

Walkie-talkie: Check in, second-floor security.

Check in please, Jackson.

I'm searching the west wing.

So far, no sign of the intruder.

Ohh!

Oh! Nurse! Nurse!

Hold it!

Quick!

OK.

Let's go, let's go!

Walkie-talkie: Security, look behind you.

What?

Look... look behind you.

Where?

Look behind you.

Oh, too late.

Go to radiology.

OK, we should be safe for now.

I followed the diaper truck.

As soon as I saw this hospital, I knew you must be here.

Shh. Put your hand in my pocket.

All right.

What am I looking for?

Nothing. I just missed you, baby.

We're gonna party like it's 1995.

Oh, Ryan.

I hoped you'd say those words.

I love you.

Boy, you really are something, aren't you?

You believed me just then, didn't you?

How does it feel? You lit up

like Dennis Rodman at Christmastime.

You really are good.

I do love you, Ryan. I truly do.

And you eat with that mouth.

The Beatles said it best.

She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, listen, Michelle, ma belle,

this nowhere man is the walrus, goo goo g'joob!

Up at the apartment,

you said you thought I was innocent,

but then visions of the big, fat reward

danced through your head,

like sugarplums on steroids!

You made a call, you got a gat,

and you sicked Johnny law on me!

You're just a big bully, aren't you?

That gun was for your protection.

I was calling the airlines for you, you mean man.

I was trying to get you on the first plane to South America.

I wish I had a quarter pounder with cheese

every time I heard that Chestnut.

Well, this little nutcracker is not dancing

to your suite anymore, Princess.

I found Lauren's letter to Sean in your apartment.

Explain that!

Lauren knew Sean for a long time. You knew that.

You knew she knew him.

Yes, I knew she knew.

Netanyahu?

I knew Lauren knew Sean.

Ryan: All right, the truth at last.

Oh, Ryan, they're the only family I have.

Please, please don't make me choose

between you and my family.

Family? Lauren's your sister. And?

Sean is my brother.

Forgive me.

P.A.: Dr. Ross, Dr. Green,

Dr. Carter, Dr. Weaver, and Dr. Benton,

please pick up a very large check in the er.

[Siren]

A man fitting Harrison's description

and wearing a meat company shirt

had entered the er.

There are 1,400 beds,

a staff of 250, 150 individual rooms.

Chances of our finding Cass and Harrison right off

are 9,103 to 5.

It is 3:05 P.M.

We should make contact in 14 minutes,

which makes it exactly... 3:19 P.M.

Let's do it.

Records room, records room.

Computer voice: Access denied.

Air-conditioning duct.

Aha.

[Electric charge]

Aah! Aah! Ohh!

[Yelling]

[Suction]

Nurse Henderson.

Yes, doctor?

The guard Jackson...

[Squishing noises]

[Pop]

[Wood breaking]

Thank you.

[Hiss]

[Pop]

[Pop]

[Pop]

[Popping]

Aw.

Let me see.

Aah!

[Pfft]

Hmm.

Computer voice: Shalom.

Dr. Fridley?

Sit down.

Here it is.

Aye. It's a beauty.

It's a work of art.

The barrel is a lightweight titanium alloy.

A retractable Swiss laser scope.

A Rogers palomino trigger.

Self-cleaning pump action,

ribbed for you pleasure.

Aye.

The silencer...

A hush puppy.

[Beep]

Computer voice: Main menu.

Computer voice: Searching.

Print?

Thank you. How are you today?

Getting any?

Did you hear the one about nun and the rabbi?

Okay... okay... asshole!

Lauren: Good. He's taken the bait.

[Horn honks la cucaracha]

[La bamba playing on radio]

[Horn honking la cucaracha]

Give me a second! I'm almost done!

[Man singing in Spanish on radio]

[Police dispatch radio]

Go, go, go, go, go, go!

[La bamba and la cucaracha playing]

[Siren]

Lauren: We'll lead him to the cornfield,

then we'll kill him.

[Hip-hop version of la cucaracha playing]

[Music stops]

[Plane flying]

Ow!

[Buzz]

Cass.

This is some kind of trap, isn't it?

Just like your sister the night Hibbing was murdered.

I want you to understand something.

I understand everything, luscious.

I saw through your lies like spam in a Ziploc bag.

I wish I could forget all this and go away together.

We can go away right now. I packed light.

Everything we need is right here in my pants.

Listen to me. I was abandoned as a child.

I never knew my mother or my father.

I never knew my dog.

Yeah, pretty words, baby crackers.

Your popiel pasta maker

is spewing out fettuccine full of lies.

Well, what do we have here?

Lauren. Look, something even the cat wouldn't drag in.

Pull up a bucket of nightmares and sit down.

I've had enough of you.

It's time to dispose of Ryan Harrison

the way I killed my dear late husband.

I should have guessed you did it, but I didn't.

Oh, Sean laughrea!

What a happy, big-time family reunion!

You make the Mansons look like the cleavers.

Family? What? Me?

Yes. I'm your sister. Lauren's our mother.

I'm your mother's identical twin.

Born 10 years apart, but identical.

I killed your mother. Penis envy.

She was a hermaphrodite.

Mom was my mother and my father?

Sean's adopted. I dated your father,

but chose the life of a freedom fighter.

Well, miss thick, lovely lips,

I found out about Dr. Fridley's prosthetic leg.

One carbon steel barrel,

magazine of cyanide-tipped bullets.

Nice new weapon, right, Sean?

Signal yes by shooting yourself in the head 3 times.

Don't. It's a trick.

Very smart, Harrison,

but this is where smart ends

and dead begins.

You die.

[Gun cocks]

Ruth, as you can see,

the U.N. Secretary general sir Robert Mckintyre

has arrived in Columbia heights...

Lauren: There's our target.

Cass: You killed Hibbing and now Mckintyre?

I can't believe it.

I hope what I just told you

isn't going to keep you from carrying out our mission.

Mckintyre is an enemy

to every freedom fighter on this planet.

Yes. Of course.

I see you're right.

Good.

Let's go.

All right. I'm just gonna finish packing

the terrorists' lunches and I'll be right there.

See you in 5?

Ryan: Cass!

Cass!

Oof! [Thud] Unh!

[Mreeoow]

Cass. Shh.

When you shot me at point-blank range,

I knew you loved me.

Those trophies back at your apartment...

You're a crack shot.

I checked myself for holes.

Just the usual ones.

You tricked them. You were using blanks.

Yes. I had to shoot you, Ryan.

Otherwise, they would have murdered you.

After searching for my family, I discovered they're terrorists.

And now they're trying to kill my father.

Your father?

Yes. I just found out

my father is the secretary general of the U.N.

Right. Two can play at that game.

We'll set a trap. You stay here.

If they change their plans, get the word out right away.

If they realize I'm pretending to be one of them,

they may try to kill me.

That's a chance I'll have to take. Good luck.

Yaah!

Aah!

[Fiddle playing]

Announcer: The Columbia heights jamboree

is proud to welcome mayor John Stopka

and the United Nations secretary general

sir Robert Mckintyre.

Sir Robert, right after the drill team

you can begin your speech.

Thank you, mayor Stopka.

[Drumming]

[Bagpipes playing]

Ho-up!

[Shouting orders]

Hup!

Oh... unh!

Oh!

Unh!

[Applause]

Look out! He's got a leg!

[Screaming]

Ohh...

Yaah!

Ryan!

Oh, shite.

Cass!

Ryan, come on. Hurry. This way.

All right, sir. This way.

Come on, daddy. Come with me.

Daddy?

[Thud] Unh!

[Clang] Unh!

Cass: Get in! Get in!

Get the bloody Van!

Plan "b" a go! "B" a go!

It's Ryan, the bastard, and Mckintyre's with him!

Ryan, look out!

Oh, my god, it's Sean!

He's got a gun! Go! Go!

Kill him!

[Engine sputtering]

Oh, no! A stinger?!

Get back! What a day. What a day.

Let's go!

That Van over there!

My gun! Come on!

All right, quick! Over there. Move it. Quick now.

[Machine gun firing]

Over here! Get your head down!

Get down! Get down!

There's plenty of room! Get in there!

Move it!

[Hiss]

[Engine starts]

[Glass shatters]

[Engine sputtering]

Damn!

Come on!

Drop your guns! Drop 'em!

What? Huh?

Give 'em up!

[Irish fiddle music playing]

[Panting]

Hey, nice work.

Good one.

Fergus: Stay with me people.

Laughrea!

Ryan: Fergus falls,

here's the one-armed, one-legged, one-eyed man.

You frightened, punk, huh?

Did I fire the last bullet

or is there another one in the chamber

with your name on it?

Does the thought of death play with your mind... punk?

Do you gots to know?

Well... you got lucky.

There are no more bullets in the chamber.

[Gunshot]

Unh!

Whoops. My mistake.

Well, Lauren, you'll pay the highest price of all.

Where you're going, those wet lips and hot kisses

will be falling on deaf ears for a long time to come.

They're all yours, falls. Tied up tight...

Like a bride on her honeymoon night.

And so our tracks have finally come together.

It's time to drive the golden spike.

Ryan Harrison, I say to you

on behalf of law enforcement all over the world,

you were wrongfully accused.

Hmm?

All right, people, move 'em out!

Ryan!

Cass!

Close your eyes.

Now, don't worry.

I trust you.

Whoa. Keep your eyes closed.

Ohh...

Now, open your eyes.

I feel like I'm flying.

[Clang]