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1
00:00:00,062 --> 00:00:00,998
(siren wailing)
2
00:00:01,023 --> 00:00:04,200
(mellow melodic music)
3
00:00:18,883 --> 00:00:20,463
One move and it's your brains
4
00:00:20,563 --> 00:00:22,663
all over the SteriWipes, Loz.
5
00:00:22,763 --> 00:00:24,764
I don't want no trouble, ma'am.
6
00:00:25,444 --> 00:00:28,964
I just want a suction tube,
some cloth tape and...
7
00:00:30,885 --> 00:00:32,545
Some saline solution.
8
00:00:32,645 --> 00:00:34,545
(Jo imitating gunshot) Ah!
9
00:00:34,645 --> 00:00:36,586
(Jo imitating gunshot)
10
00:00:36,686 --> 00:00:38,866
Why?
11
00:00:38,966 --> 00:00:41,278
(Jo imitating gunshot)
12
00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:43,511
- You just shot yourself.
- Yeah,
13
00:00:43,536 --> 00:00:44,965
I'm not doing time for you, Loz.
14
00:00:45,056 --> 00:00:46,796
Ow! (Groaning softly)
15
00:00:46,967 --> 00:00:48,047
Oh, Loz, are you alright?
16
00:00:48,087 --> 00:00:51,188
Yeah, just a little
posterior thigh strain.
17
00:00:51,213 --> 00:00:52,103
Oh.
18
00:00:52,128 --> 00:00:54,509
June's into pony play,
she spent the evening
19
00:00:54,609 --> 00:00:57,189
mounting me as a palomino
horse called Mr. Major.
20
00:00:57,289 --> 00:00:59,389
My fault, 'cause I didn't
properly brace for impact.
21
00:00:59,489 --> 00:01:01,390
- Jesus, that's messed up.
- Not as messed up
22
00:01:01,490 --> 00:01:05,630
as you're gonna be,
Little Missy Lady.
23
00:01:05,730 --> 00:01:07,831
It's not even loaded.
24
00:01:07,931 --> 00:01:09,791
Oh, really? (Tongue clicking)
25
00:01:09,891 --> 00:01:12,031
Never turn your back
on the Lozenge of Doom.
26
00:01:12,131 --> 00:01:13,432
(door clicking)
27
00:01:13,532 --> 00:01:15,032
Well, hello, Lawrence.
28
00:01:15,132 --> 00:01:17,272
Oh, hi, George.
29
00:01:17,372 --> 00:01:19,373
See you, Jo.
30
00:01:22,133 --> 00:01:24,333
So REACT training?
31
00:01:25,294 --> 00:01:27,794
Reactions like this, I
don't need training, George.
32
00:01:27,819 --> 00:01:29,030
Or I could just tell your boss
33
00:01:29,054 --> 00:01:31,236
that you're refusing a
mandated mental health scheme.
34
00:01:31,261 --> 00:01:33,439
Fortunately, George, I've
got some real training to do
35
00:01:33,464 --> 00:01:35,835
with the new re-stocker,
so I don't have time.
36
00:01:35,935 --> 00:01:37,996
(door thudding) (door locking)
37
00:01:38,096 --> 00:01:43,097
♪ Oh, ooh ♪
38
00:01:43,697 --> 00:01:47,197
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
39
00:01:47,297 --> 00:01:48,518
♪ Yeah ♪
40
00:01:48,618 --> 00:01:51,958
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
41
00:01:52,058 --> 00:01:53,598
♪ Yeah ♪
42
00:01:53,698 --> 00:01:57,039
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
43
00:01:57,139 --> 00:01:58,439
♪ Yeah ♪
44
00:01:58,539 --> 00:02:00,039
Oh, allow it, Jo, man.
45
00:02:00,139 --> 00:02:01,520
You're not taking an ambulance
46
00:02:01,620 --> 00:02:03,560
to a knife crime workshop,
they're too valuable.
47
00:02:03,660 --> 00:02:05,240
- And we are not?
- Exactly.
48
00:02:05,340 --> 00:02:08,441
Now don't take all day, but try
to inspire these young minds
49
00:02:08,541 --> 00:02:09,681
to stop knifing each other
50
00:02:09,781 --> 00:02:11,681
and get me some new
paramedic recruits.
51
00:02:11,781 --> 00:02:14,562
Wendy, this is the whitest
car ever made, blood,
52
00:02:14,662 --> 00:02:16,642
I can't go to no
hood school in this.
53
00:02:16,742 --> 00:02:18,202
You are proper violating me, man
54
00:02:18,302 --> 00:02:20,563
- and I'm too hungover for this.
- Oh good night?
55
00:02:20,663 --> 00:02:22,923
Worst, yesterday would've
been my dad's birthday.
56
00:02:23,023 --> 00:02:26,044
Oh, you never said, you haven't
spoken about him in ages.
57
00:02:26,144 --> 00:02:28,204
It's not that deep, bruv.
58
00:02:28,304 --> 00:02:30,764
I did this little thing for
him at the pub for his mates,
59
00:02:30,864 --> 00:02:32,224
but they just kept
rinsing me out,
60
00:02:32,265 --> 00:02:33,961
because I still live
at home with my mother.
61
00:02:33,985 --> 00:02:36,605
They're like, "Puff
Puff, you are a blight
62
00:02:36,630 --> 00:02:38,651
on the hallowed memory
of your father."
63
00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:41,049
Puff Puff, why do
they call you that?
64
00:02:41,074 --> 00:02:42,472
- I didn't say Puff Puff.
- (Wendy laughing)
65
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,174
- I said Puff Puff.
- Ooh!
66
00:02:44,199 --> 00:02:45,927
They're calling me a
fried dumpling, blood.
67
00:02:46,027 --> 00:02:48,687
They think 'cause I don't have
enough money, I ain't shit.
68
00:02:48,712 --> 00:02:50,644
Well, I hope you told
them where to flipping go.
69
00:02:50,668 --> 00:02:54,448
Are you mad? I'm Nigerian
and they're my elders.
70
00:02:54,548 --> 00:02:57,129
I paid the bill, bowed my head
and asked for their blessing.
71
00:02:57,229 --> 00:02:59,689
But it's cool, 'cause
today I'm gonna smash it
72
00:02:59,789 --> 00:03:01,690
and I might even ask
Jo for a promotion.
73
00:03:01,790 --> 00:03:03,810
[Wendy] Right, well, get
in the car, Puff Puff.
74
00:03:03,910 --> 00:03:05,850
Look, I beg you take
the back roads, man,
75
00:03:05,950 --> 00:03:06,710
(car door thudding)
this car is crap.
76
00:03:06,790 --> 00:03:09,531
Oh, come on, get in,
it's gonna be great.
77
00:03:09,631 --> 00:03:12,371
(melodic upbeat music)
78
00:03:12,471 --> 00:03:14,672
♪ What up ♪
79
00:03:15,992 --> 00:03:18,052
Tasha's had her bone
marrow transplant,
80
00:03:18,152 --> 00:03:20,853
apparently her pick
line's a bit dodge.
81
00:03:20,953 --> 00:03:23,313
Okay, so we go in,
82
00:03:24,353 --> 00:03:26,734
no eye contact, no
sudden movements
83
00:03:26,759 --> 00:03:28,480
and I know this is
gonna be hard for you,
84
00:03:28,505 --> 00:03:30,654
but please give her
no reason to attack.
85
00:03:30,754 --> 00:03:33,215
(ambulance doors clicking)
86
00:03:33,315 --> 00:03:34,935
Thank God you're here.
87
00:03:35,035 --> 00:03:36,535
(ambulance doors thudding)
88
00:03:36,635 --> 00:03:38,256
I thought you'd be cross,
89
00:03:38,356 --> 00:03:41,976
seeing as we flambed Tasha's
comics on our last visit.
90
00:03:42,076 --> 00:03:44,057
I don't care who they send,
91
00:03:44,157 --> 00:03:46,977
it's just nice to have
someone, anyone else here.
92
00:03:47,077 --> 00:03:51,058
We've been stuck in isolation
together since the transplant.
93
00:03:51,158 --> 00:03:54,018
(Claire sobbing)
94
00:03:54,118 --> 00:03:55,258
She hates me.
95
00:03:55,358 --> 00:03:59,299
It happens, she's just
lashing out at the caregiver.
96
00:03:59,399 --> 00:04:01,540
- She doesn't hate you.
- Oi!
97
00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:03,840
They're here for me, why are
you leaving them out there?
98
00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:05,980
I could be literally
dying up here.
99
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:07,861
What's wrong with you?
100
00:04:07,961 --> 00:04:08,961
(window thudding)
101
00:04:09,001 --> 00:04:11,001
Well, she definitely hates you.
102
00:04:12,721 --> 00:04:15,062
(melodic orchestral music)
103
00:04:15,162 --> 00:04:18,882
Oh, it looks gorgeous,
wowser, so posh.
104
00:04:22,203 --> 00:04:24,143
Wake up, Puff Puff, we're here.
105
00:04:24,243 --> 00:04:25,864
Hm.
106
00:04:25,964 --> 00:04:28,024
Oh, I can't wait to do my rap.
107
00:04:28,124 --> 00:04:30,504
Oh God, no please, please.
108
00:04:30,529 --> 00:04:31,901
These young brothers
are going through
109
00:04:31,925 --> 00:04:34,505
a knife crime epidemic,
they've suffered enough.
110
00:04:34,605 --> 00:04:36,605
There's no brothers here.
111
00:04:39,246 --> 00:04:42,666
What, away, are you sure
this is the right place?
112
00:04:42,766 --> 00:04:44,547
It's lovely, isn't it?
113
00:04:44,647 --> 00:04:47,187
Oh, can you imagine me
in a place like this
114
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,387
fumbling about in Hugh
Bonneville's breeches?
115
00:04:49,487 --> 00:04:50,908
- Ugh!
- I haven't had a good fumble
116
00:04:51,008 --> 00:04:53,988
since Spencer got here,
not even with myself.
117
00:04:54,088 --> 00:04:55,088
Hey, please.
118
00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:57,741
No one's been down my
abbey for a long time,
119
00:04:57,774 --> 00:04:59,185
- I can tell you that.
- No, do not tell me,
120
00:04:59,209 --> 00:05:00,429
I don't wanna know.
121
00:05:00,529 --> 00:05:02,150
Why are we even doing
a workshop here?
122
00:05:02,175 --> 00:05:03,506
Posh people get everything, man,
123
00:05:03,531 --> 00:05:04,626
we can't even have our own crime
124
00:05:04,650 --> 00:05:05,746
without them taking that too.
125
00:05:05,770 --> 00:05:07,831
We treat without
judgement, remember?
126
00:05:07,931 --> 00:05:09,151
These lot don't need me.
127
00:05:09,251 --> 00:05:12,431
Ain't no duke shanking up some
next duke in a postcode war.
128
00:05:12,531 --> 00:05:14,232
[Girls] Good afternoon.
129
00:05:14,332 --> 00:05:15,472
Afternoon.
130
00:05:15,572 --> 00:05:20,573
♪♪
131
00:05:22,853 --> 00:05:23,913
♪♪
132
00:05:24,013 --> 00:05:28,434
Okay, Jo, as I
said before, REACT,
133
00:05:28,534 --> 00:05:31,714
recognise, engage,
actively listen,
134
00:05:31,814 --> 00:05:34,315
check risk and talk
are a framework
135
00:05:34,415 --> 00:05:36,795
for a mental wellness
conversation with your staff,
136
00:05:36,895 --> 00:05:38,676
which is why I think
it's so important,
137
00:05:38,776 --> 00:05:40,676
that you've added
words of your own.
138
00:05:40,776 --> 00:05:42,076
Got it, George.
139
00:05:42,176 --> 00:05:44,177
Okay.
140
00:05:45,756 --> 00:05:46,824
Great, Jo.
141
00:05:46,897 --> 00:05:48,217
- Thanks, George.
- Really mature.
142
00:05:48,257 --> 00:05:49,353
Sorry I'm late or whatever.
143
00:05:49,377 --> 00:05:51,718
No one would give up their
seat for me on the bus.
144
00:05:51,818 --> 00:05:54,358
Pensioners can be so
entitled, don't you think?
145
00:05:54,458 --> 00:05:56,519
(Spencer clears throat)
146
00:05:56,619 --> 00:05:58,959
I'll be fine, I just, I just
need somewhere to decompress.
147
00:05:59,059 --> 00:06:00,559
How about the stock cupboard,
148
00:06:00,659 --> 00:06:04,000
where you should've
been hours ago?
149
00:06:04,100 --> 00:06:05,460
Indoor voice please, I'm an HSP.
150
00:06:05,540 --> 00:06:07,920
What the fuck's an HSP?
151
00:06:08,020 --> 00:06:10,001
- Highly sensitive person.
- That's not a thing.
152
00:06:10,101 --> 00:06:11,161
I self-identify as one.
153
00:06:11,261 --> 00:06:13,197
Yes, we will happily make
reasonable adjustments
154
00:06:13,221 --> 00:06:14,482
to accommodate your needs.
155
00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:16,582
Needs? I don't do needs.
156
00:06:19,782 --> 00:06:22,403
So get off my udders, let's
get to work, you melt.
157
00:06:22,503 --> 00:06:25,763
(Spencer sighing)
158
00:06:25,863 --> 00:06:27,204
Christ!
159
00:06:27,304 --> 00:06:28,884
(mellow upbeat music)
160
00:06:28,984 --> 00:06:30,804
♪ Ooh ♪
161
00:06:30,904 --> 00:06:33,325
♪ Oh ♪
162
00:06:33,425 --> 00:06:36,725
If she gets violent, I'm
throwing this over her head.
163
00:06:36,825 --> 00:06:38,005
(Gary knocking)
164
00:06:38,105 --> 00:06:41,166
We're just gonna take a look
at your pick line, alright?
165
00:06:41,266 --> 00:06:43,446
(door clicking)
166
00:06:43,546 --> 00:06:44,927
Hi, guys, ready to go?
167
00:06:45,027 --> 00:06:46,927
It's not the Tasha
I was expecting.
168
00:06:47,027 --> 00:06:48,247
What are you doing here?
169
00:06:48,347 --> 00:06:53,208
I'm entitled to confidential
medical care, so go away!
170
00:06:53,308 --> 00:06:54,564
There she is.
171
00:06:54,589 --> 00:06:57,289
Well, we can't
have this, can we?
172
00:06:57,389 --> 00:06:59,929
Stop all your lovely
meds coming through.
173
00:07:00,029 --> 00:07:03,890
Kareshma, I might
need a hand here.
174
00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:07,670
Oh, I think we might need
a doodah from the van.
175
00:07:08,791 --> 00:07:09,851
(door thudding)
176
00:07:09,951 --> 00:07:11,651
There are no doodahs.
177
00:07:11,751 --> 00:07:14,091
No shit, you're literally
couldn't have made it more
178
00:07:14,191 --> 00:07:15,488
obvious we're
speaking about her?
179
00:07:15,512 --> 00:07:17,208
I don't know, I'm quite
good at subterfuge.
180
00:07:17,232 --> 00:07:19,292
Okay, okay, okay.
181
00:07:19,392 --> 00:07:21,173
She knows how much
she needs that line,
182
00:07:21,273 --> 00:07:23,333
but she's obviously
pulled it out herself.
183
00:07:23,433 --> 00:07:25,009
The question is
why? (Door clicking)
184
00:07:25,049 --> 00:07:27,225
Hey, you guys ready to go
185
00:07:27,250 --> 00:07:29,276
or do you need more
time to talk about me?
186
00:07:30,354 --> 00:07:31,354
(melodic upbeat music)
187
00:07:31,394 --> 00:07:36,075
♪ Get it, get it, get
it wherever I can ♪
188
00:07:37,635 --> 00:07:39,416
Wait, sorry, can you
just show me again?
189
00:07:39,516 --> 00:07:41,736
I just showed you a
minute ago, you twassock.
190
00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:44,937
Yeah, but I was texting,
so I didn't really listen.
191
00:07:45,037 --> 00:07:46,977
It's not cryptic, mate.
192
00:07:47,077 --> 00:07:49,617
You're a re-stocker, you
grab the medical shit,
193
00:07:49,717 --> 00:07:52,098
you take it to the neenaws,
you get the old shit out,
194
00:07:52,198 --> 00:07:53,938
you put the fresh shit in.
195
00:07:54,038 --> 00:07:57,419
Okay, put the fresh shit
in, okay, got it, thank you.
196
00:07:57,519 --> 00:07:59,499
(door thudding)
197
00:07:59,599 --> 00:08:00,819
(camera clicking)
198
00:08:00,919 --> 00:08:04,080
(school bell ringing)
199
00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:08,660
Please wait here, sir
will be with you soon.
200
00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:10,741
Oh, thanks, duck.
201
00:08:10,841 --> 00:08:13,181
I got my level one
BSL on Wowcher.
202
00:08:13,281 --> 00:08:15,582
Another language for
you to beg for innit.
203
00:08:15,682 --> 00:08:18,262
Here, have you seen how
much it costs to come here?
204
00:08:18,645 --> 00:08:19,985
I can't inspire these kids,
205
00:08:20,010 --> 00:08:21,618
they're already making
more money than me
206
00:08:21,643 --> 00:08:22,875
and they're only 12.
207
00:08:22,900 --> 00:08:25,703
You're a right "Les
Misérables" today.
208
00:08:25,803 --> 00:08:27,544
Yes, this place
has got me shook.
209
00:08:27,644 --> 00:08:29,904
They don't usually let
men that look like me
210
00:08:30,004 --> 00:08:31,184
in gaffs like this.
211
00:08:31,284 --> 00:08:33,425
Eric Ubercama, headmaster,
212
00:08:33,525 --> 00:08:37,425
really pleased to meet you
both, please follow me.
213
00:08:37,525 --> 00:08:39,846
Bet no one calls him Puff Puff.
214
00:08:46,487 --> 00:08:48,147
Just tell us what you did.
215
00:08:48,247 --> 00:08:49,987
I was having a Zoom
disco with my mates
216
00:08:50,087 --> 00:08:52,548
and they got stuck
when I was dancing.
217
00:08:52,648 --> 00:08:56,508
Oh, I love a boogie, my
kids are always filming me.
218
00:08:56,608 --> 00:08:58,629
So that they can put
it on the internet
219
00:08:58,729 --> 00:09:00,729
for strangers to laugh at, Gary.
220
00:09:02,329 --> 00:09:04,270
So do you really
expect me to believe
221
00:09:04,370 --> 00:09:06,870
you can't keep a pick line in?
222
00:09:06,970 --> 00:09:09,831
You have to get me out
of here, it's my mum,
223
00:09:09,931 --> 00:09:12,311
she's in deep fucking denial
224
00:09:12,411 --> 00:09:15,832
and she's a Keep Calm and
Carry On mug in jeggings.
225
00:09:15,932 --> 00:09:20,392
So I'm not calm, I am fucking
furious and nobody gets it.
226
00:09:20,492 --> 00:09:22,493
Uh!
227
00:09:23,013 --> 00:09:25,433
I think I'm starting to.
228
00:09:25,533 --> 00:09:29,214
(melodic suspenseful music)
229
00:09:40,980 --> 00:09:43,275
You are going to have
to speak at some point.
230
00:09:43,300 --> 00:09:44,416
Will I though?
231
00:09:44,441 --> 00:09:45,793
You're speaking now.
232
00:09:46,385 --> 00:09:47,565
Am I though?
233
00:09:48,017 --> 00:09:51,157
If I were leading a wellness
conversation with my team,
234
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:53,298
I'd start with some
personal disclosure.
235
00:09:54,578 --> 00:09:56,038
You'll find your
own way with this,
236
00:09:56,138 --> 00:09:58,079
but I'll just model
the language for you.
237
00:09:58,179 --> 00:10:00,539
You could start
with something like,
238
00:10:02,139 --> 00:10:05,020
I'm George, three years sober,
239
00:10:06,060 --> 00:10:09,600
biggest fear, people find
my insights annoying.
240
00:10:09,700 --> 00:10:11,701
I'm Jo,
241
00:10:12,301 --> 00:10:14,301
got totally rat-arsed last night
242
00:10:15,301 --> 00:10:17,482
and I can confirm you
are a total ball ache.
243
00:10:17,582 --> 00:10:18,682
(Darrell knocking)
244
00:10:18,707 --> 00:10:19,597
I'm busy!
245
00:10:19,622 --> 00:10:21,923
Lads, come on in.
246
00:10:21,948 --> 00:10:22,838
(door clicking)
247
00:10:22,863 --> 00:10:26,063
We've got a question for
you, well, Darrell does.
248
00:10:27,023 --> 00:10:31,364
Jo, I need a wife and I couldn't
think of anyone lovelier
249
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:35,505
or more cleverer or more
legally British to marry.
250
00:10:37,265 --> 00:10:39,045
Absolutely fuck, no.
251
00:10:39,145 --> 00:10:43,286
George, I need a wife and
I couldn't think of anyone
252
00:10:43,386 --> 00:10:46,267
lovelier or cleverer or more
legally British to marry.
253
00:10:47,427 --> 00:10:49,427
Oh, she's tempted, Darrell.
254
00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:53,308
Please, it'll help
my mental health.
255
00:10:56,428 --> 00:10:59,089
You know, one knife
wound can kill you.
256
00:10:59,189 --> 00:11:01,729
Well, not yous, 'cause
you're not really
257
00:11:01,829 --> 00:11:03,329
about that life, innit? (Laughs)
258
00:11:03,429 --> 00:11:06,810
Could you turn on the hearing
loop so we can all hear you?
259
00:11:06,988 --> 00:11:08,908
- What, this thing?
- Yes.
260
00:11:09,183 --> 00:11:10,875
(switch clicking)
(feedback whining)
261
00:11:10,900 --> 00:11:12,055
Thank you.
262
00:11:12,831 --> 00:11:15,171
Anyway, as I was
saying, people under a
263
00:11:15,196 --> 00:11:16,311
Jennifer,
264
00:11:16,411 --> 00:11:18,412
ah, can you put the
music on please?
265
00:11:18,437 --> 00:11:19,780
(Jennifer sighing)
(switch clicking)
266
00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:21,804
(soft melodic music) Thank you.
267
00:11:22,633 --> 00:11:24,573
♪ Selector, selector ♪
268
00:11:24,598 --> 00:11:25,488
Jesus!
269
00:11:25,513 --> 00:11:26,813
♪ Into selector ♪
270
00:11:26,913 --> 00:11:28,814
(audience laughing)
271
00:11:28,914 --> 00:11:32,694
♪ Man up in the whip
with a bally on ♪
272
00:11:32,794 --> 00:11:33,894
♪ It takes one ♪
273
00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:35,415
[Maleek] What are you doing?
274
00:11:35,515 --> 00:11:36,895
Rapping, what's it look like?
275
00:11:36,995 --> 00:11:39,455
- That is not rap.
- Would you do it then?
276
00:11:39,555 --> 00:11:42,296
Look, just give me
the thing, man. (Tuts)
277
00:11:42,396 --> 00:11:44,396
This is shit.
278
00:11:45,036 --> 00:11:47,777
♪ Yo, if you've got your own,
that's three times more ♪
279
00:11:47,877 --> 00:11:49,517
♪ More time before
the knives get drawn ♪
280
00:11:49,557 --> 00:11:50,817
♪ Stay safe, stay in school ♪
281
00:11:50,842 --> 00:11:52,454
♪ 'Cause that's what the
really real Gs, them do ♪
282
00:11:52,478 --> 00:11:53,678
♪ Bread Roman ain't got nish ♪
283
00:11:53,758 --> 00:11:55,258
♪ Not nish, but big, bad news ♪
284
00:11:55,358 --> 00:11:56,518
♪ Fit in there with your Gs ♪
285
00:11:56,558 --> 00:11:58,058
♪ Your only Gs should
be your GCSEs ♪
286
00:11:58,083 --> 00:11:59,615
♪ So please take this
message from me ♪
287
00:11:59,639 --> 00:12:00,419
♪ It takes one ♪
288
00:12:00,519 --> 00:12:01,902
♪ Yeah, that's
right, it takes one ♪
289
00:12:01,926 --> 00:12:03,366
♪ Yeah, that's
right, it takes one ♪
290
00:12:03,391 --> 00:12:04,091
Yeah.
291
00:12:04,116 --> 00:12:05,992
♪ Yeah, that's
right, it takes one ♪
292
00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:12,081
(audience applauding
unenthusiastically)
293
00:12:13,681 --> 00:12:15,129
Questions?
294
00:12:15,721 --> 00:12:16,721
Yeah?
295
00:12:16,762 --> 00:12:19,162
How much does a paramedic earn?
296
00:12:20,402 --> 00:12:21,702
- 34,000.
- 30,000.
297
00:12:21,802 --> 00:12:22,863
What?
298
00:12:22,963 --> 00:12:25,463
I'll pay you 35,000 pounds,
299
00:12:25,563 --> 00:12:27,103
if you promise not to rap again.
300
00:12:27,128 --> 00:12:28,248
(audience laughing)
301
00:12:28,273 --> 00:12:29,940
Sir, are you gonna let
her talk to me like that?
302
00:12:29,964 --> 00:12:31,504
- Maddie.
- I'm sorry, sir,
303
00:12:31,604 --> 00:12:34,344
but I find it patronising,
reductive and try hard.
304
00:12:34,444 --> 00:12:35,905
(audience laughing)
305
00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:37,905
Your mum's patronising
and reductive.
306
00:12:38,005 --> 00:12:38,825
- Ssh!
- That's why
307
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:40,545
they should beat kids
in school though.
308
00:12:40,645 --> 00:12:42,946
This is you and this stupid rap.
309
00:12:43,046 --> 00:12:44,906
(mellow upbeat music)
310
00:12:45,006 --> 00:12:47,707
♪♪
311
00:12:47,807 --> 00:12:49,267
(Jo humming)
312
00:12:49,367 --> 00:12:50,547
(files thudding)
313
00:12:50,647 --> 00:12:52,587
There's no point doing this,
314
00:12:52,612 --> 00:12:54,716
I'm never gonna get you
on side with this, am I?
315
00:12:54,741 --> 00:12:59,489
There you go, something
we agree on finally.
316
00:13:00,849 --> 00:13:03,409
I'm going to use some
direct language now, Jo.
317
00:13:04,589 --> 00:13:06,506
- I underestimated you.
- It's alright, George,
318
00:13:06,530 --> 00:13:09,770
so did my army PT, she's twice
the bloke you'll ever be.
319
00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:13,511
If you won't take
the mental health
320
00:13:13,611 --> 00:13:16,031
of this depot seriously,
then I'm afraid.
321
00:13:16,131 --> 00:13:18,332
Regional will find
someone who will.
322
00:13:20,572 --> 00:13:22,832
Am I making myself clear?
323
00:13:22,932 --> 00:13:24,633
Are you saying that
I don't have to do
324
00:13:24,733 --> 00:13:26,733
this mental health
toss at South Hill?
325
00:13:28,133 --> 00:13:30,134
Result.
326
00:13:33,374 --> 00:13:34,972
(students chattering)
327
00:13:34,997 --> 00:13:36,035
Bye.
328
00:13:36,135 --> 00:13:37,795
That was a bit
savage, wasn't it?
329
00:13:37,895 --> 00:13:39,511
I told you this was
just a waste of time.
330
00:13:39,535 --> 00:13:41,316
All the kids, they say stuff,
331
00:13:41,845 --> 00:13:43,359
you don't normally
let it get to you.
332
00:13:43,384 --> 00:13:44,876
Yeah, but that's the hood kids,
333
00:13:44,976 --> 00:13:46,216
it's hood kids, it's different.
334
00:13:46,296 --> 00:13:47,517
You let them cuss you out,
335
00:13:47,542 --> 00:13:49,233
'cause you know you're
saving lives there,
336
00:13:49,257 --> 00:13:50,953
but we're just a joke
thing to these lot, man,
337
00:13:50,977 --> 00:13:53,037
ain't none of them
gonna be paramedics.
338
00:13:53,137 --> 00:13:55,078
Posh pricks, like
little dickead, Maddie.
339
00:13:55,178 --> 00:13:57,158
What's she know about rap?
340
00:13:57,258 --> 00:13:59,279
Fool, this is bullshit, man.
341
00:13:59,379 --> 00:14:02,399
- (feedback whining)
- Maleek, the hearing loop.
342
00:14:02,499 --> 00:14:04,499
Oh, I'm not stupid, it's off.
343
00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:11,140
Maybe she won't tell anyone.
344
00:14:14,981 --> 00:14:16,841
She's gonna snitch.
345
00:14:16,941 --> 00:14:21,402
I'm not even angry, I'm
just really disappointed.
346
00:14:21,502 --> 00:14:24,243
(school bell ringing)
347
00:14:24,343 --> 00:14:26,843
Look, sir, or sire, whatever,
348
00:14:26,943 --> 00:14:30,684
this whole thing was
just a big mistake, yes?
349
00:14:30,784 --> 00:14:33,524
So we're gonna leave you
to your marking and that.
350
00:14:33,624 --> 00:14:37,225
Hold it, the bell doesn't
dismiss you, I dismiss you.
351
00:14:40,465 --> 00:14:42,345
Now you're going to finish
this little workshop,
352
00:14:42,426 --> 00:14:43,842
because I happen to
think it's important
353
00:14:43,866 --> 00:14:46,726
our students are prepared for
anything life throws at them.
354
00:14:46,826 --> 00:14:49,027
But first an apology.
355
00:14:49,817 --> 00:14:50,847
Maddie.
356
00:14:50,872 --> 00:14:52,872
- (door clicking)
- Oh.
357
00:14:53,654 --> 00:14:54,964
(door thudding)
Crack on, Maddie,
358
00:14:54,988 --> 00:14:56,408
it's your time you're wasting.
359
00:14:56,508 --> 00:14:59,368
I think he means you
apologise to her.
360
00:14:59,468 --> 00:15:01,009
But sir.
361
00:15:01,109 --> 00:15:02,849
Now.
362
00:15:02,949 --> 00:15:04,689
(tuts) Sorry, Maddie.
363
00:15:04,789 --> 00:15:07,370
Whatever, just no
more rap, yeah.
364
00:15:07,470 --> 00:15:08,470
Hm.
365
00:15:08,550 --> 00:15:10,090
Can I go now, sir?
366
00:15:10,190 --> 00:15:12,191
Off you go.
367
00:15:13,151 --> 00:15:15,931
♪ Give it ♪
368
00:15:16,031 --> 00:15:18,132
♪ Oh, ooh ♪
369
00:15:18,157 --> 00:15:19,371
♪ Give it ♪
370
00:15:19,396 --> 00:15:21,886
It's bit of a dick move
taking your anger out
371
00:15:21,911 --> 00:15:24,028
on something you need
like a pick line.
372
00:15:24,053 --> 00:15:26,053
Not my best work obvi.
373
00:15:26,793 --> 00:15:28,733
And obvi, as an
NHS professional,
374
00:15:28,833 --> 00:15:31,734
I would never encourage
you to destroy anything
375
00:15:31,834 --> 00:15:33,174
or smash anything up.
376
00:15:33,199 --> 00:15:35,860
No, no, crikey, no.
377
00:15:35,885 --> 00:15:38,255
But I wonder what would happen,
378
00:15:38,355 --> 00:15:41,635
if you ripped the literal
shit out of this schoolwork.
379
00:15:45,196 --> 00:15:46,376
(paper tearing)
380
00:15:46,476 --> 00:15:48,097
There you go.
381
00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:49,577
(paper tearing)
382
00:15:49,677 --> 00:15:53,637
And what about that shit
over there, how about that?
383
00:15:54,798 --> 00:15:56,298
Come on.
384
00:15:56,398 --> 00:15:57,898
(objects clattering)
385
00:15:57,998 --> 00:15:59,899
- (Gary laughing)
- Yes!
386
00:15:59,999 --> 00:16:02,659
Tasha, what the
heck is going on?
387
00:16:02,759 --> 00:16:05,099
I'm fucking angry, Mum,
388
00:16:05,199 --> 00:16:09,100
not hacking, really
fucking angry.
389
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:10,980
Aren't you?
390
00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:13,701
Of course I'm fucking angry.
391
00:16:13,801 --> 00:16:16,181
It's like good to
show it sometimes,
392
00:16:16,281 --> 00:16:19,002
you don't need to act
like everything's okay.
393
00:16:21,242 --> 00:16:23,242
Fine.
394
00:16:23,487 --> 00:16:24,579
(kick thudding)
(objects clattering)
395
00:16:24,603 --> 00:16:25,663
Yes, Mum!
396
00:16:25,688 --> 00:16:27,099
- (melodic upbeat music)
- Tasha, the bear.
397
00:16:27,123 --> 00:16:28,543
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
398
00:16:28,643 --> 00:16:30,304
- (bag tearing)
- Aw, poor bear!
399
00:16:30,404 --> 00:16:32,544
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
400
00:16:32,644 --> 00:16:34,504
(Tasha shrieking)
(guitar thudding)
401
00:16:34,604 --> 00:16:36,505
We should leave them to it.
402
00:16:36,530 --> 00:16:37,420
Hm.
403
00:16:37,445 --> 00:16:38,825
(Tasha shrieking)
(guitar thudding)
404
00:16:38,925 --> 00:16:41,105
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
405
00:16:41,205 --> 00:16:43,506
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
406
00:16:43,606 --> 00:16:45,426
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
407
00:16:45,526 --> 00:16:47,106
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
408
00:16:47,206 --> 00:16:49,627
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
409
00:16:49,727 --> 00:16:53,647
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
410
00:16:56,488 --> 00:16:59,648
(audience chattering)
411
00:17:03,249 --> 00:17:05,829
Can we have some baba baba?
412
00:17:05,929 --> 00:17:07,790
Ah, thanks.
413
00:17:07,890 --> 00:17:10,750
Yo, Jennifer, hit the
lights please, my G.
414
00:17:10,850 --> 00:17:12,871
(Jennifer sighing)
(switch clicking)
415
00:17:12,971 --> 00:17:16,691
Nice, okay, so
remember, guys, BPN.
416
00:17:18,612 --> 00:17:21,792
B, leave the blade in,
417
00:17:21,892 --> 00:17:24,392
P, apply pressure to the wound.
418
00:17:24,492 --> 00:17:27,913
Now you can use anything,
clothes if you have them.
419
00:17:28,013 --> 00:17:29,913
And finally N,
420
00:17:30,013 --> 00:17:33,354
call 999. (Laughing awkwardly)
421
00:17:33,454 --> 00:17:35,754
This is... Wendy?
422
00:17:35,854 --> 00:17:38,475
Right, well, these might
look like a horror film,
423
00:17:38,575 --> 00:17:41,015
but they're actual
photos of knife wounds.
424
00:17:42,535 --> 00:17:45,376
(girls screaming)
425
00:17:46,696 --> 00:17:48,276
Wendy, what are you doing?
426
00:17:48,376 --> 00:17:50,997
Those aren't school slides,
those are surgeon's slides.
427
00:17:51,097 --> 00:17:53,037
They said they didn't
want be patronised.
428
00:17:53,137 --> 00:17:55,158
Yeah, but they don't
want bloody PTSD either.
429
00:17:55,258 --> 00:17:57,798
Look what you've done
to the poor kids then.
430
00:17:57,898 --> 00:18:00,759
- (girl vomiting)
- Oh.
431
00:18:00,859 --> 00:18:04,479
Oh, she's being sick, uh!
432
00:18:04,579 --> 00:18:07,480
(mellow upbeat music)
433
00:18:07,580 --> 00:18:10,800
♪♪
434
00:18:10,900 --> 00:18:13,041
[Darrell] Ah, Spencer,
how was the first day?
435
00:18:13,141 --> 00:18:14,517
Do you know what,
actually amazing.
436
00:18:14,541 --> 00:18:17,001
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was
wondering if you knew any chicks
437
00:18:17,101 --> 00:18:19,242
you could set me
up with to marry?
438
00:18:19,342 --> 00:18:20,642
Ugh, heteronormative.
439
00:18:20,742 --> 00:18:22,505
It's just so Darrell
can stay in the country.
440
00:18:22,530 --> 00:18:24,474
The person just needs to
have a British passport.
441
00:18:24,499 --> 00:18:25,621
Wow and racist.
442
00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:27,203
Do you know what,
you both disgust me.
443
00:18:27,303 --> 00:18:29,043
I'm so sorry for being a racist.
444
00:18:29,143 --> 00:18:30,363
[Darrell] That's it then.
445
00:18:30,463 --> 00:18:31,724
Only one option left.
446
00:18:31,824 --> 00:18:35,204
I'm gonna have to marry your
mum and become your stepdad.
447
00:18:35,304 --> 00:18:37,365
Could you teach me
how to ride a bike?
448
00:18:37,390 --> 00:18:38,529
Sure, kiddo.
449
00:18:38,629 --> 00:18:41,840
Welcome to the family!
450
00:18:41,865 --> 00:18:43,486
(belt clicking)
451
00:18:43,586 --> 00:18:45,246
Thanks, Kareshma.
452
00:18:45,346 --> 00:18:48,186
Hm, literally just doing my job.
453
00:19:01,968 --> 00:19:03,973
(ambulance door thudding)
454
00:19:04,139 --> 00:19:05,209
What?
455
00:19:05,234 --> 00:19:07,210
Nothing, it's just
you don't want to get
456
00:19:07,310 --> 00:19:08,810
too close to the patients.
457
00:19:08,910 --> 00:19:10,910
As if.
458
00:19:12,950 --> 00:19:14,051
(drawer thudding)
459
00:19:14,151 --> 00:19:15,691
(plastic rustling)
460
00:19:15,791 --> 00:19:18,091
[Lawrence] Alright, Jo.
461
00:19:18,191 --> 00:19:21,132
- Alright, Loz.
- How did it go with George?
462
00:19:21,232 --> 00:19:22,752
- All sorted.
- Why are you doing this?
463
00:19:22,832 --> 00:19:24,252
Where's the new guy?
464
00:19:24,352 --> 00:19:26,773
He's taking a daylight break.
465
00:19:26,873 --> 00:19:28,373
- Oh.
- What a twat.
466
00:19:28,473 --> 00:19:31,474
Hm, good, 'cause I don't
want any witnesses to this.
467
00:19:34,714 --> 00:19:36,494
(Lawrence imitating gunshot)
468
00:19:36,594 --> 00:19:38,575
.44 to the face, yeah.
469
00:19:38,675 --> 00:19:41,295
Oh, you'd be out the door,
if you shot that in here.
470
00:19:41,395 --> 00:19:43,055
Not if I stayed soft
through the knees
471
00:19:43,155 --> 00:19:44,216
at the point of release.
472
00:19:44,316 --> 00:19:46,216
[Jo] No, kick like
a mule on that.
473
00:19:46,316 --> 00:19:47,336
[Lawrence] Hm.
474
00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:50,137
(mellow upbeat music)
475
00:19:50,237 --> 00:19:52,397
♪♪
476
00:19:53,797 --> 00:19:55,818
Oh, Spencer, how
was your first day?
477
00:19:55,918 --> 00:19:56,938
Do you know what?
478
00:19:56,963 --> 00:19:58,494
I'm so tired, I can't
even talk about it.
479
00:19:58,518 --> 00:19:59,974
There is a long hours
culture at this place,
480
00:19:59,998 --> 00:20:01,999
that's very unhealthy.
481
00:20:04,159 --> 00:20:09,060
Wenders, ah, I thought it was
weird a mama bear like you
482
00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:13,020
would walk out on her only
son, totally get it now.
483
00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:15,461
You could do us both
a favour and sack him.
484
00:20:15,561 --> 00:20:18,141
Well, I could, but
I'm not a quitter.
485
00:20:18,241 --> 00:20:21,142
I've bested worse grunts than
him, I will break him first,
486
00:20:21,242 --> 00:20:23,322
then hand his arse
back to you in pieces.
487
00:20:26,403 --> 00:20:27,983
Right.
488
00:20:28,083 --> 00:20:31,023
(mellow upbeat music)
489
00:20:31,123 --> 00:20:32,123
[Darryl] I'm scared.
490
00:20:32,164 --> 00:20:34,064
You're doing really well, son.
491
00:20:34,164 --> 00:20:35,864
Don't let go.
492
00:20:35,964 --> 00:20:37,064
I won't.
493
00:20:37,164 --> 00:20:39,185
Don't let go,
494
00:20:39,285 --> 00:20:41,185
please. (Bicycle whirring)
495
00:20:41,285 --> 00:20:43,385
That's my boy.
496
00:20:43,485 --> 00:20:48,486
♪ Ooh ooh ♪
497
00:20:49,526 --> 00:20:52,507
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
498
00:20:52,607 --> 00:20:53,827
♪ Yeah ♪
499
00:20:53,927 --> 00:20:57,428
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
500
00:20:57,528 --> 00:20:58,828
♪ Yeah ♪
501
00:20:58,928 --> 00:21:02,509
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
502
00:21:02,609 --> 00:21:03,989
♪ Yeah ♪
503
00:21:04,089 --> 00:21:06,749
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
504
00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:07,910
(hammer thudding)
505
00:21:08,010 --> 00:21:09,470
- (man thudding to floor)
- Uh!
506
00:21:09,570 --> 00:21:12,730
(light melodic music)
36211
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