All language subtitles for housesitter eng dvd

Where are you taking me?
Where am I?

- I'm blindfolded too.
- Davis!

- We're almost there.
- Almost where?

Davis, you are so nuts.

We're here.

What is this?

- Will you marry me?
- What?

Becky, I have loved you
since 9th grade. Marry me.

- You bought this house?
- Bought it?

I'm an architect!
I designed it! I built it!

You built this house
for me?

For us.

- You are so nuts!
- And you are so sane. It's perfect!

This is like something
out of a fairy tale.

So, will you?

No.

I now dedicate this building
to the great city of Boston.

- Congratulations.
- Thank you, thank you.

Thank you so much.

Thank you, Frank.

Welcome to the Budapest. Drink up.
Everybody, more champagne.

Welcome to the Budapest.
Haven't seen you in a long time.

Welcome to the Budapest.
Have a great time.

Mr Moseby,
welcome to the Cafe Budapest.

It's a boring building,
no matter how you look at it.

The best thing about this building,
in two words: billable hours.

- But did you enjoy doing it?
- That didn't factor in.

- Where are you from?
- Eh?

- I said, where are you from?
- Are you from Hungary?

- Yes, Hungary.
- He wants to know if you speak English.

He said, "Are you ticklish?
Do you spank?"

- Marty!
- Is to be called Gwen.

Go, go, go!
Work, work, work!

Enjoy the party, gentlemen.

- She liked you.
- What are you talking about?

She could have liked you.
You just gotta make it happen.

- Hi, Davis.
- Hi, Mr Calvin.

Becky is over. That was months ago.
You've gotta find a way to transcend.

- But how?
- Get laid.

Marty, you're my
most disgusting friend.

How about Denise?
What about Patricia?

- She had the hots for you.
- What are the hots?

Moseby, eleven o'clock.

Hi, Mr Moseby.

- Congratulations on a beautiful job.
- Thank you, Marty.

- Everyone has a right to feel proud.
- Absolutely.

I don't know if it's the champagne
talking, but I wanna say...

your leadership has been an inspiration
to all of us on the project.

- I hope I've not embarrassed you.
- Not at all.

Congratulations.
Very good job.

I don't know
if you know Davis from the firm?

Mr Moseby.

The building.

Wow! It's there.

Yes?

You know that Boston Bank building
you designed years ago?

I have stood on the sidewalk
for hours absorbing that structure.

- It still surprises me.
- Thank you, Davis.

Don't you think we should be going
for that kind of originality...

instead of these same designs
over and over...

this cookie-cutter architecture?

Don't you feel we're just
going through the motions?

We are the largest
architectural firm in New England.

Evidently some people
like what we do.

Are you insane?

Why didn't you kick him in the balls
and tell him he has ugly children?

I thought he'd appreciate
a fresh point of view.

Why would you think that?
He's the boss.

If I could find the right doctor,
I would have my lips sewn to his ass.

- We're different.
- Yes.

Come Monday,
I will still have a job.

Hi, Mr Simpson.

Is Gwen, yes?
I remember.

Beautiful Gwen from Hungary
who speaks no English.

That is a drawing of
an engagement ring...

which I designed and even built.

But, as engagement rings go,
it turned out to be a little...

you know, "big" for the lady.

What do you say, Gwen? "Gwhen" do you
get off and "gwhere" can we "gwo"?

- Good night, kiddo.
- Night.

- I'll take care of opening tomorrow.
- You will? I can sleep.

- I love you.
- No sweat.

Hey, guys.
Come on, chop-chop.

Let's get home.

Taxi!

Good night, little Howie.

You tricked me.

Why were you pretending
to be Hungarian?

- Ambience.
- Yeah, but you still tricked me.

- I didn't trick you. I deceived you.
- What's the difference?

- Intention.
- Intention?

Are you a law student?

I guessed it? You're a law student?
Where do you go to school?

Don't you mean
"gwhere" do I go to school?

I admit, I was a little
condescending.

When you thought
I was just a waitress.

- I apologize.
- I'm not a law student.

- Why tell me you're a law student?
- I didn't.

You told me I was a law student.
I just told you I wasn't a law student.

Listen.

Listen, can we go somewhere?

- Get coffee or something?
- I really have to get home.

Share my cab.
I could give you a lift.

Thank you very much,
but it's real close.

I'll walk you.
I could use some air.

There's these cities I want to live in
before I die, and Boston's one of them.

There's New York,
which is where I came up here from.

Before that there was Seattle, San
Francisco, Santa Fe, New Orleans, Akron.

- Akron?
- Yeah.

It was a detour.
But I lived there, so I count it.

Before that, there was Toledo,
where I grew up.

- I've never lived anywhere.
- How can you never live anywhere?

Well, just here
and Dobb's Mill.

That's where I grew up.
It's about 50 miles from here.

It's one of those
white-picket-fence sort of towns...

with your basic church steeple
and town square...

and big firemen's
pancake breakfasts.

All the kids grew up together...

and everybody knows you,
you know what I mean?

- Sure. Is that where she's from?
- Who?

The babe who thought the house
was too big for her finger.

Oh, Becky.
No, that's over.

I bet you still have
her picture in your wallet.

- Get out of my...
- Let me see.

You'll knock me
into the water there.

- Who cares about wallet photos?
- You could go to jail for this.

That's her in the 6th grade.
I got one that's more up-to-date.

7th grade, 8th grade, 9th...
Let me just jump ahead.

That's Becky.
But it's over, believe me.

Did you see that picture?
Was she a cute baby?

Is that funny? Anyway...

Here's her driver's licence.
She was gonna throw this away.

I said, "Are you crazy?
That's a cute picture."

Anyway, I don't even
go up there any more.

I probably should at least
take the ribbon off the house.

You mean you still own it
and nobody's living in it?

It's a waste, huh?
It's just so nice up there.

Especially this time of the year
with the leaves changing.

And it's got this wraparound porch
that looks onto a pond.

And in the living room, it's got
switchback stairs that go up to a loft.

Sorry. I still get
a little excited about it.

I don't use it, but...

- But what?
- I can't bring myself to sell it.

It's like I'm stuck where I am,
like I can't change.

- Do you ever feel like that?
- No.

I change myself all the time.
If things aren't working out...

I change what I do,
I change where I live, I change myself.

You're Hungarian one minute
and a law student the next!

Oh, this is fabulous!

- I love it.
- We're back where we started.

It's where I live,
above the restaurant.

I said it was close, but you said you
wanted some air, so we went for a walk.

Listen.

Could I use your phone
to call a cab?

- Do you mind?
- Sure.

- Good night, Ralph, Mary.
- Hello!

In return for waitressing,
I get to live here rent free...

which actually works out
really well for him in taxes.

And then what I earn is the tips,
which is really great.

You'd be surprised how well you can do,
particularly with that Hungarian thing.

- Your lock's busted.
- I know.

I've been ragging on Karol
about that.

- Who's she?
- He.

He's the guy
who owns the Budapest.

- Funny name for a guy.
- Yeah, it is.

- Newt.
- Huh?

I saw it on your driver's licence:
Newton Davis.

What kind of name is that anyway?

Only my father calls me that.

Yeah. My dad's name is Bernard.

Bernard... that's kind of
a "Newtony" kind of name, isn't it?

Bernard. Oh, Dad.

I remember I used to curl up on his lap,
watch Howdy Doody with him...

roll down his socks
and tickle his feet.

Anyway, this is my place.

It's cosy. I like what you did
with the drape thing.

- Well, I'm no architect.
- It's nice.

I like the way you used
the negative space.

- You're interesting.
- Really?

Yeah. You're so... average.

Guess you better show me
where your phone is.

I don't have a phone.

- What?
- Well, I can't afford it.

I figured I didn't know anybody in town,
so I just didn't get a phone.

But I asked you if
I could use your phone.

- That's not what you asked me.
- That is exactly what I asked.

You did not. You asked me
if you could sleep with me.

You know that as well as I do.

You said yes.

May I stay?

Yeah.

Dobb's Mill.
Watch your step getting off.

Thanks. Bye.

- Hi, Mary.
- Hi, Dave.

Milk, juice...

cereal and bread.

So, Hazel,
we're looking at $23.85.

- Should I put that on your account?
- Thank you, Travis.

Okey-doke.
Hey, best to Stuey.

All right.

Potato, tomato, avocado...

pint of ice cream and steak.

So, miss,
we're looking at $34.63.

Right. Put that on
the Newton Davis account, please.

- I beg your pardon?
- Newton Davis, 611 Hillside.

I know Davis,
but he doesn't have an account here.

- You're Travis, right?
- And you are?

Yeah, he told me
about this store.

Great place. It reminds me
of when I was growing up.

My grandfather had a store
just like this in a little town in Ohio.

Uh-huh?
And your relation to Davis is?

Oh, gosh, where do I begin?

It all happened so fast.

I mean, I came here really just to get
the house together and everything.

He doesn't even know
that I'm here.

I told him I went to see my sister
because she was pregnant in Toledo.

I thought it would be so great
to surprise him...

which I hope I do.

Anyway, I met him...

and then he said to me,
what a great little town this was...

and what a fabulous house he built
and the truth is, I'm his wife.

You're telling me
you and him are hitched?

Yeah. I hardly believe it myself.

Excuse me.

Hi. I'm sorry.

I couldn't help but hear.
You're married to Newton Davis?

- Yeah.
- I'm Becky.

- Becky?
- Metcalf.

Becky Metcalf?

Oh, Davis told me all about you.

I'm Gwen.
Did he tell you about me?

No. I didn't even know
he was married.

Well, we really haven't
told anybody yet.

It was kind of a crazy thing we did.
We did it on the spur of the moment.

That's Davis.

- Hi, Becky.
- Hi, Marge.

- Tell me, how is he doing?
- Oh, he's great.

You know,
he's such a fabulous guy.

Nowadays it's hard to tell if a guy's
gonna be there when you wake up.

And you're living in the house?

Starting to. Just getting groceries
and housewares, pots and pans.

- The hardware store is over there.
- Oh.

- I'll introduce you.
- Thanks.

Aren't you nice?

I don't have the cash
for all this.

Oh, don't be silly.
On your account.

Harv, grab a... Harv?

Grab a percolator
off the shelf.

You bring Davis around so
we can congratulate him, that sly boots.

Well, I've gotta run.

Maybe I'll call you
for dinner sometime?

Great!

Seems like the marriage
is off to a good start.

Yeah, so far it's been ideal.

It's kind of like I died
and went to heaven.

Oh, hi! Great chair.
You work here?

- Yes, ma'am.
- I love it.

You could practically
live in this chair, you know?

- I don't see how.
- How much?

- It's $20.
- How about I give you $15?

Well, no, it's $20.

I'll tell you what.
I'll give you $17 cash.

We only take cash.

- Do you deliver?
- Free of charge.

All right, you've got a deal.
611 Hillside.

- Could you have it delivered by tonight?
- What was that address again?

611 Hillside,
that house Newton Davis built.

- That house is vacant.
- Well, we're moving back.

I'm Gwen.
I'm his wife.

I'm George.
I'm his father.

All I can say, sir,
is that I apologize.

Frankly, I was the one who,
after your son just...

swept me off my feet...

decided that maybe
it would be best if we waited...

and see if the marriage was gonna work
before we told our families about it.

Of course Newton said,
"Oh, you're just way too levelheaded.

You should be more impulsive."

Maybe he's right.

But I just wanna say
that you guys raised...

the most caring, sharing man.

Thank you.

Edna, any comments?

- I don't believe it.
- You don't?

- I just don't believe it.
- Which part?

That he could be so insensitive,
so irresponsible!

Because it's just like him.
The boy hasn't changed a bit.

What does he think marriage is?
That's what I want to know.

And this question goes
for you too, young woman.

What do young people today...

think marriage...

is?

You don't mean write an essay?

It's because of
our little dispute, isn't it?

Is that why he kept
this marriage a secret?

Yes, it is.

But he feels really badly
about all this, Mr Davis.

You'd never know it
to talk to him.

Perhaps because
you don't talk to him, George.

He's the one
who never calls or visits.

- You babied the boy, Edna.
- Mr and Mrs Davis?

Newton is really sorry
about, um, you know.

And he just talks about it
all the time.

In fact, he talked about it
the other night and he cried.

- You hear that, George?
- I'm right here, Edna.

My boy cried.

Why don't you pick up the phone
and call the boy?

I don't think that
would be a good idea.

For the time being, why don't you
send messages through me.

Well, suppose you...

Just tell him, please,
for God's sake, come home.

Come in.

Hello.

Good morning.
Is it morning?

But if this isn't
a convenient time...

It's fine. Come in.

- I didn't mean to come before...
- That's all right. I'm awake.

Or dressed.

So I see you've already found
a spot to put your chair.

Oh, yes.
I'm just trying it out.

What's that?

It's just a little something
to help you get started.

Oh, no. I really couldn't.

After all, he is our only son.

Let's go spend it.

Hi, Davis.

Martin, I've been thinking about the
house in Dobb's Mill, about selling it.

- Sell it.
- I could pay back everyone I owe.

I agree.
Could you look at this?

Keeping this house
is like hanging onto the past.

- You enter through the air conditioning?
- I was trying to solve that.

I think it's preventing me from having
a real relationship with another woman.

Right, with Denise or Patricia.

Or like that waitress
the other night.

Who was... The one who
didn't speak English?

Very interesting woman.
You've got people exiting into a wall.

Uh-oh. Did you sleep with her?

Gee, you know...

Yes, and I woke up in the middle of
the night completely tied up in knots.

No, I mean as in anxiety.

And I did this horrible thing.
I left.

I know what it is: Becky.
I gotta close the book on that.

- I'm gonna sell the house.
- There you go.

We just talk and talk.
There's so much to talk about.

We have this
amazing communication.

- It's like Chinese food.
- Excuse me?

You know, like on Thursdays,
and you can't deal with dinner?

And he comes home with
this big bag of Chinese take-out.

- It's just like he knew!
- That's amazing.

I know. Chinese food.
Can you stand it?

He's fabulous.

Are you finished with that?

Oh, that's good.

So, you were starting to tell me
how the two of you met.

Right.

I'm crossing Boylston Street...

and this moron doing a right on red
ploughs into me, and then takes off.

- We never did catch him.
- Were you hurt?

My nose was busted,
both cheekbones were cracked...

and the front of my jaw
was fractured.

They had me all taped up
like one of those mummies...

and all you could see
were my eyeballs and lips.

- My God.
- So I'm in this hospital room.

I'm sharing it with this woman
who works for an architectural firm.

Davis came in
and brought her balloons.

I guess he felt sorry for me
on account of my being a mummy...

and he gave me
one of the balloons.

So then he came back
the next day to visit me...

then the next
and then the next.

It wasn't like a come-on,
because he hadn't even seen my face.

It was just two people talking,
during which it came out that...

I didn't have the insurance
to pay for the bill, so he paid for it.

Davis did?

- How long were you in?
- Two weeks.

How could he afford that?
He's got all of his money in that house.

Well, you know,
he's an architect.

Yes, but he's just an associate.
It doesn't pay very much.

- You know, he got promoted.
- He has?

Mm-hmm, yeah.
They love him over at that firm now.

- They do?
- Yeah.

He's kicking big
architectural butt.

So he takes me home from the hospital
and runs all these errands for me...

All this time,
he's never seen your face?

You're still all wrapped up?

Oh, this is so Davis.

Then one night, he kissed me.

And we started to...
Well, you know.

Here I am in this mummy mask,
but it was incredible...

because I could be anyone.

Oh, God.

I can't tell you
how hot that made it.

So, then he wants to marry me
and he hasn't even seen my face.

So what he proposes is...
which is what we did...

is we got married the next week
at the hospital.

When the chaplain said "You may kiss the
bride," instead of lifting the veil...

the doctor unwrapped the gauze.

And he saw me
for the first time.

And he looked at me...

and he smiled.

And then...

the rest.

Hello?

What are you doing here?

What am I doing?
What are you doing here?

I got kicked out of my apartment
and had no place to go.

I would have called you, except you
never told me where you lived or worked.

You're the waitress... Gwen.

Well, excuse me,
but I thought we'd been introduced.

No, I recognize you.
You were wearing that Hungarian garb.

I had to get out of there because Karol
and I had a difference of opinion...

of exactly when he could come
into my apartment unannounced...

and exactly where he could
put his hands while he was there.

- Didn't you have any friends?
- I'd only been in Boston three weeks.

I didn't know anybody. All I had was
that cute drawing you did of this house.

I knew it was in Dobb's Mill and it was
just sitting here, not doing anything.

- Where did all this furniture come from?
- Bigelow's.

How did it get here?
Some sort of furniture stampede?

- I'll pay you back.
- Pay me back?

Bobo, no.
Come on, honey.

The men are coming tomorrow
to put in the dog door.

- What is happening?
- If you'd just listen.

I'm listening! I'm listening!

All right.
I was hungry, okay?

So I went to Keller's Market
to pick up some peanut butter...

and that's where I overheard
Hazel telling Travis...

- Hazel?
- Hazel Byron.

You know Mrs Byron?

Yeah, your piano teacher.
Great gal.

I don't know if you heard
about her son Stuey...

but what he put
that poor woman through.

Go back to the part at the grocery store
where Mrs Byron says to Mr Keller...

She told him
to just put it on her account.

You charged the groceries to me?

Well, I was hungry.
You gotta understand that.

How'd you get him to do it?

- He's under the impression that I'm...
- Insane?

No, I just told him
to put it on our account.

- Our account?
- Well, it seemed harmless.

You told him you were my wife?

What was I supposed to do?
You tell me.

- And he believed you?
- Why wouldn't he believe me?

I'm not good enough to be your wife?
Travis thinks I'm good enough.

Harvey and Lorraine
think I'm good enough.

- This coffee table.
- What about it?

- It's my mother's.
- I know.

It's not my taste either.
But all of this represents a compromise.

- You know your mother.
- My parents think we're married?

Hey, it's not so bad.
Everything's gonna be fine.

Would you mind taking
your feet off the furniture?

You can't stay here.

- Why not?
- I hardly know you.

Come on. Where the hell
am I supposed to go?

- What do you mean you hardly know me?
- Gwen, I'm sorry.

I'm terribly sorry
for the way I acted.

I'm going through a difficult time,
and this isn't helping!

I've got maybe a hundred bucks here,
just till you get back on your feet.

- Take it.
- Is that payment for services rendered?

- Come on.
- I don't want your goddam money!

Just my goddam house, right?

Hello?

I was dying to see how everything
looked, and I saw your car outside...

and I, uh...

Congratulations.
I'm so happy for you.

You needn't be.
You want to tell her?

You're a shit.

Maybe I'll just wait
and come back later.

Becky, look.
Here's what happened.

Whatever it is,
it's between you and Gwen.

Let me just say one thing:
That is a wonderful woman.

- Yours is a genuinely unique marriage.
- I'll say.

To marry a woman
whose face you've never seen...

until your wedding day at the hospital
when the doctor removes the gauze.

That is unique, my friend.

It made my heart go pitty-pat.

Did it?

Do you know why
I said no to you that day?

It's because you scared me,
building this house...

putting a big ribbon around it.

I didn't want to marry a dreamer.
I'm not that brave.

But when I see you
through Gwen's eyes...

you look very different to me.

How?

I could see how a dreamer....

with somebody who believes in him,
could do great things.

I heard about your promotion.

Associate partner?

She told you about that?

She's very proud of you.
She deserves to be.

I must admit,
I'm a little jealous.

- Really?
- Yeah, a little.

There's something
I think you should know.

I slept with Boomer Bauer?

Yes, but it's not like you were being
promiscuous. He's your old boyfriend.

You got to reminiscing one day,
and it just happened.

Except now you don't know
where we stand.

You gave me an old boyfriend
and you named him Boomer?

I'm a little new at this.
But that's the beauty of it.

That's why you left Boston to come here
and decide between me and Boomer.

I can't believe
you told her that.

I can't believe you can't believe it!
You've told a few whoppers yourself!

I told nice ones!

I love her.
I've always loved her.

But something went wrong.
She couldn't picture me as her husband.

But now, with our being married...

she finally sees me
as a husband kind of guy.

I think you and I can help each other.
Here's the deal.

We're married,
but our marriage is on the rocks.

Every weekend, I drive up
and try hard to save this marriage.

- I get to stay in the house?
- Absolutely.

Meanwhile, Becky's heart goes out to me,
you and I get divorced...

and then, boom, I get Becky.

What do you say?

For a while
it was really a great marriage.

Well, it was.
Until you came into it.

Sweetheart. Oh, sweetheart.

You've made me so happy.

You've brought home a princess.

Hi, Pop.

Son.

My little boy.

I see you've met Gwen.

Why'd you do it, son?

Understand, I like her.
I like her a lot.

She is something
of an acquired taste...

but I've grown
quite fond of her.

It's just the secrecy,
not sharing the decision.

I can't help but feel that
it's part of our ongoing battle.

- Pop...
- Don't say a thing.

- Gwen's said it all for you.
- She has?

What I'm trying to tell you is,
I apologize.

You do?

I won't deny I was upset.

You go into debt to build a house
you won't live in and won't sell...

so you end up with a mortgage
and that crazy rent in the city.

- Don't start, Pop.
- I won't.

Because you do make good decisions.
Gwen, for instance.

Plus now giving up the apartment
and coming back here.

You told them I was
giving up my apartment?

Uh, let me think.

What she told us
was how sorry you felt.

Like the other week
when you cried?

No shame in it. Just don't do it often.
Nobody likes a crybaby.

You told them I was sorry?

You did say you regretted
the situation, remember?

Okay, but I never said
I was giving up my apartment.

- Her intentions were good.
- Yes, her intentions.

But that's a whole separate subject,
isn't it, dear?

- Up yours.
- Nicely put.

What a princess, huh, Mom?

Mom, Dad, I didn't particularly
want to discuss this right now...

but you might as well know
that Gwen and I are separated.

- What?
- That's the reason she came here.

- What are you saying?
- I'm saying the marriage is a bust.

Go ahead, Pop, lecture me.
Another immature move by Newton.

I goofed.
I was winging it.

I thought I was doing you a favour
bringing you and your dad back together.

I don't see why we had
to get separated because of it.

- We separated because of Boomer.
- We did not.

I came up to sort things out.

Geez, Boomer was
just a one-nighter.

Stay outside, Bobo.

Honey? Sweetheart?

Look who Bobo and I
bumped into jogging.

Oh, my goodness.
Look at all the furnishings.

I tried to use reflective light
to create a feeling of warmth.

I think I'll go make some tea.

Oh, here's the tub,
right next to the bed.

Notice it's designed for two.

- I'm going.
- Yeah, bye.

You like the house?

Oh, well, how could I not?

In fact, it makes me
realize something...

about Gwen sleeping
with that old boyfriend.

I could see how something
like that might happen.

- You can?
- Can't you?

Yes.

Which is to say that...

you should really be more
understanding of her, and forgiving.

I mean, she's just human.

We're all just human.

Lemon or sugar?

This was wonderful.
Thanks for the tour and the tea.

Mom? Dad?

Reverend Lipton?

In the brief time I've gotten to
know Gwen, I must say I was shocked...

when your parents came and told me
that you were both experiencing...

difficulties.

But so often,
just by talking it out...

which we could arrange on
a weekly basis perhaps at the church...

I am not going to marriage counselling
with this woman, and that is final.

- I'm disappointed in you.
- George, please.

You've gotten all you want,
now you want out.

But marriage is different from
a one-night stand, or used to be.

And it ought to be.

What's everybody
coming down on me for?

- She's the one.
- The one who what?

The one who made up...

Made up what?

Who made up...

with her old boyfriend,
and then bedded down with him.

You want the dirty details?

She slept with her old boyfriend
after we were married.

Maybe we should wait
out on the porch.

You babied him.
Now he can't hold his woman.

Shut up.

- I was bored.
- What?

Let her get it out now.

All I do is stay around this house.

- He never lets me do what I want.
- Try to be specific.

Like those art classes
I wanted to take.

And sometimes I really want
to go to the theatre.

Then he complains
about my thighs.

So I say,
I'll go to dancing class.

He says, oh no,
it's too expensive.

I don't believe this.

This is good.
Purge, Gwen.

For instance, the courses
I want to take at the university.

Do you think he'll let me?

What about the,
uh, tennis lessons?

You quit after three weeks.
Same thing with the, uh, scuba diving.

Because of those comments you made
about me and my rubber suit.

I said you looked
like a porpoise.

- Is that supposed to be cute?
- Flipper was a porpoise!

I don't want to be
compared to Flipper!

- I'm not comparing you to Flipper!
- Think how that makes me feel.

- One at a time, please.
- Shut up!

Here's what the problem is.

When I come home, you're organizing!
If I'm reading a book...

For starters, let's begin
by both of you trying once again...

to live under the same roof.

Agreed?

For you, Gwen, let's start out
by trying to work on this idea...

of self-discipline, sticking
with something once you've begun it.

For instance, this idea
of continuing your education.

- Newton, I must say...
- I cannot afford it.

Even with your big promotion...

that the whole town
is talking about?

See you at choir practice.

Shall we gather by the river? That's
where they're gonna find your body.

Grow feathers
and shit in a tree!

Why did you have to bring up
sleeping with what's-his-face?

- I was mortified.
- We made a deal.

That doesn't give you the right
to disparage my reputation.

Your reputation?
You're a con artist!

Don't yell at me.
We're only pretending to be married.

And it seems to me that the only person
pulling a con is you with Becky.

In return for which you extorted
free rent in a furnished house...

and now a college education!

- And dance classes.
- Lest we forget.

- Are you nuts?
- I thought you'd love the idea.

- Of marriage?
- It's not a marriage.

It's an arrangement in which
I share my house with her...

in exchange for which she argues with me
and makes my life look pitiful.

That's marriage.

Well, I'll be home around 6:30.
Want me to pick up anything?

That sounds good.
I like that. Great.

Bye, honey. Gwen!

May I talk with you?

I just had a big fight with Gwen.
I came home from work and she started...

I'm sorry, I shouldn't
even be talking about it.

It's just... Come in.

I don't even know
how I ended up here.

I just walked away from the house,
not thinking about where I was going.

My thoughts were chaotic,
and I saw the light in your window...

- Gwen is here.
- She is?

- You bet I am.
- What the hell are you doing here?

- What the hell are you doing here?
- Oh, God.

I am trying so hard
to make this marriage work.

- That is rich.
- Rich?

Guys, please.

She promised she would
never see him again.

And it's my fault?

Ask Mr Matrimony when
the last time we slept together was.

- What?
- You wanna tell her the truth?

- Really?
- Once.

Once in I don't want
to tell you how long.

- Do you want to tell her why?
- Me?

Because our Mr Davis
lives with a little, dark secret.

Hey, really,
I don't want to get involved.

Oh, but you are involved.
You're the secret.

He's tried to overcome it,
God love him.

He's tried to forget about you.

For a time, I thought we
were really gonna make it.

You felt so close to me then.
We used to wash each other's hair.

Everything was just so perfect.

And then came Maui.

What happened in Maui?

Uh, well...

Gwen might as well tell it.

We went there
to celebrate his promotion.

He was so happy then.
Almost too happy.

He was working so hard
to try to have fun and please me.

He'd chase me into the surf
and carry me into the cabana.

He'd dance and we'd drink.

He'd toss macadamia nuts in the air
and catch them in his mouth...

breaking his tooth
in the process.

We had to spend
the last day of our vacation...

looking for a dentist
to do an emergency crown.

I'll never forget holding his hand
in that dentist's chair...

waiting for him to wake up
from the gas they'd given him.

And he had that cotton
kind of sticking out of his mouth.

When he gazed up at me, he said...

"Becky.

Oh, Becky."

I came here tonight because
when you walked out that door...

I had to see if this
is where you were gonna go.

- What are we gonna do?
- Oh, Davis.

That was great.
She's starting to come around.

- Thank you.
- Just doing my job.

Maui? The dentist? Did you come up
with that on the spur of the moment?

Wow, you're a genius! You're like
the Ernest Hemingway of bullshit.

Really, you're like
a living work of art.

- I don't...
- What?

Thank you.

Now, this is not something
we want to force on you by any means.

What we would like you to consider
is a little reception.

A what?

Many people have been coming to us,
now that the word is out...

and asking what they should do.

- You know, in terms of gifts.
- Gifts?

No. No gifts.

Understand, we're not
talking anything lavish.

Would this be the kind of thing
where I could register?

Certainly. We could go together.

- Sweetheart?
- Yes, honeybun?

Don't you think a reception
is a horrible idea?

Our marriage is in a very
ambiguous state right now.

Which is why your mother and I agree
that it may be what the doctor ordered.

- Give it a fresh start.
- I think you're right, Mr Davis.

Another thing, unless
this makes you uncomfortable...

I'd like for you to call me "Dad."

No, it wouldn't make me
feel uncomfortable at all...

Dad.

Shall we?

Now, let me lay out
our thinking here.

Uncles, aunts, first cousins,
Gwen's parents, of course...

and any siblings or other relatives
who'd like to come.

- We'd be delighted to have them.
- This is out of control.

A marriage is bigger
than two people, sweetheart.

But we don't have
to invite her family.

Newton, we'd like to meet them.

They're our family too now.

Gwen's parents are divorced.
What's more, they hate each other.

You can't invite one and not the other,
and the two of them in the same room...

is bedlam.

Am I right?

Oh, you poor thing.
I'm so sorry.

I just don't think a reception
would be wise.

No!

- You're angry, aren't you?
- I am not angry.

- You're acting like you're angry.
- I'm fine. Can we drop it?

- What would you have done?
- I'm not arguing.

They're divorced and they hate
each other's guts. Fine.

So I've broken this line,
which is a continuation of this.

Cantilever the rafters
and run the truss joist this way...

and turn a negative into a positive.

It is so depressing to work alongside
someone of your calibre.

- When did you come up with this?
- I don't know.

- This morning or last night.
- You've been here all night?

Becky thinks I've already got
this promotion.

- You told her that?
- Gwen did.

What do you think?
Can you show this to Moseby?

- You better do it.
- Why? He likes you.

Davis, if I take that in there
and Moseby starts carrying on...

about how brilliant it is,
I'm going to take the credit.

What?

You're my friend.
Where are your ethics?

My ethics are that I know this
about myself...

so I am not gonna take this in there
and screw you over.

Mr Sharpstein!

Hi. My name is Davis.
I'm an architect on the third floor.

Do you think Mr Moseby might have
a second sometime to see me?

Let me check.

Mr Davis from the third floor
to see you.

Go right on in.

Really?

Thank you.

- You're in a lot of trouble.
- I am?

How the hell come
I never knew you were married?

Hi, honey.

Why, if this little gal of yours
hadn't wandered up to the wrong floor...

Davis, when one of our...

young people gets married,
I want to be the first to know...

especially when his wife and I
have so much in common.

We just figured out
Gwen's dad and I fought...

in the same outfit
in the Pacific.

- Really?
- Isn't that incredible?

Not half as incredible as the story
of meeting the Dunckles.

The who?

Her parents.

Oh, yeah. Gosh.

- Was that ever funny.
- You thought it was funny?

Well, no.
Later it was funny.

At first, yeah,
there was that one incident.

Which made me so angry.

Yes, but I can explain.

- Shake my hand.
- All right.

You brought that man
back to life, Davis.

You're an extraordinary
human being.

Well, he's just such
a great guy, Gwen's dad.

What's Gwen's dad
got to do with it?

I'm talking about your dad.

When you sang
"Too-ra-Loo-ra-Loo-ra" to him...

bringing tears to his eyes...

Damn, Davis. There's more
to you than meets the eye.

And you've always seemed to me
kind of a strange duck.

That's because
he's a swan, Mr Moseby.

Oh, listen to her.

Honey, how come you never invited
Mr Moseby over to the house?

My hubby designed
the most beautiful little house.

Did he now?

I've got the perfect idea.
The reception.

Yeah, Saturday afternoon,
nothing fancy.

We're just gonna have
some family and friends over.

I don't want to impose.

Oh, no imposition at all,
Winston.

And wait until you see
this house that he designed.

And it's particularly great
for entertaining.

Yeah, but you're going to be
with all your relatives.

Yeah, like Gwen's dad.

They're driving in from Toledo,
and I'd love to show you the house...

and you and Gwen's dad...

can catch up
on old times.

Sounds good.

This is so fantastic.

I can't believe you came down here
to help me get this promotion.

This is above and beyond.
You're amazing.

Did you notice, by the way, how I
jumped right in and picked up your cue?

- Yeah.
- This is so interesting to me.

Things like that your last name
is Dunckle.

All this time it never occurred to me
I never knew your last name.

- It's Buckley.
- What?

Technically...
my husband's name.

- You're married?
- Was.

So Dunckle
is your maiden name?

Sort of.

It was my mom's name.
Maybe my dad's.

I don't know. He was never
what you'd call in the picture.

So who do you consider
your parents?

Let me put it this way. Who's the guy
in Toledo who watched Howdy Doody...

and served
in the South Pacific?

An invention.

The problem is, if I might say,
is that you stink at lying...

and every time you try it,
you get us into trouble.

Forgive me, O queen of crap.

Right now the problem is,
you don't have any parents.

No, I don't have any parents.

Did they pass away?

I don't know.

Don't worry.
I'll get some.

We are so pleased
about the reception.

And now your folks
are coming to town...

and the way you two
are starting to get along...

We like to think
we had a hand in that.

Look!

It looks like something
Granny would have.

- I think that's a nice pattern.
- "Nice"?

What about this?

See, now that I like.
That's us.

- Excuse me.
- Yes?

So I suggested
we have the reception...

because my feeling is a marriage
is bigger than two people...

and I just want to do
everything I can to save it.

You're such a great husband,
Davis.

- Can I ask you something?
- Sure.

When you married Gwen,
was it...

maybe in just some small way...

to get back at me?

To show me what a wonderful husband
you would have been?

That probably had something
to do with it, I guess.

People do such foolish things.

You know, Becky, I just feel
like I have so much to tell you...

because when I first met Gwen,
I was still on the rebound.

Anyway, thanks
for letting me talk.

I can't help but feel like
a lot of this is my fault.

If I hadn't turned you down,
if I hadn't so misjudged you...

I'm so lonely, Davis.

The men I date,
it never works out.

Most of them are just jerks.

They make up stories.

They'll tell you anything
to get you into bed.

Then there are
the guys like you...

the kind you don't appreciate
when you had the chance.

Thanks for letting me talk.

- Becky, I've wanted you for so long.
- Oh, God.

Oh, yes! Oh, yes!

- No, wait!
- What?

- Not like this.
- Why?

I can't. I can't be
the other woman.

If your marriage ends, it ends,
but not because of me.

Can't you understand?

You're married.

Yeah.

Come on, come on.

How was your day?

It was okay.

I was just too tired to make
anything other than that.

I brought some Chinese,
if you want.

I figured you'd be exhausted
from shopping with my mother.

I get exhausted
just thinking about it.

Did you get a dress?

- You brought me Chinese food?
- Yeah.

Did you get a dress for the reception?
It's in two days.

Oh, yeah.

You know, by the way...

if it's not too much to ask,
would you mind...

not going around the house
dressed like that?

- Like this?
- Yes, like that.

And not just that,
because a lot of what you wear...

You happen to look
very pert.

And I have to live here too
and I just wouldn't want to, you know...

What?

To confuse the situation.

You mean nothing too revealing
or too tight?

Tight and revealing,
that's fine.

It's like this kind of thing.

Whether you know it or not,
it's a turn-on.

Or like this,
for God's sake.

- That's a turn-on?
- Are you kidding?

You look incredible in this.
Just don't wear it.

- How about this old thing?
- No! Especially not that!

And out of fairness, is there anything
I wear that you'd prefer I didn't?

Moseby sure is pumped
about meeting Gwen's dad.

I know. If I just get through
this reception tomorrow...

everything's gonna fall
into place...

the promotion, Becky,
the whole ball of string.

You really think
you're gonna pull this thing off?

Me? Her. Gwen.
She'll pull it off.

She's some kind of genius,
you know, a savant.

I'm in good hands.

But I want to do something for her
after Becky and I are married.

She's been kicked around so much.

Gentlemen, welcome to the Budapest.

- I don't want to eat here any more.
- Why? What's wrong?

Oh, beautiful Gwen!
Where is she?

You can tell Gwen that
she can come back anytime.

She's always fun for me.

You son of a bitch! Taking advantage
of a sweet girl like that.

I'll see you back at the office.

Jesus Christ,
somebody call the cops!

- Yeah, fine. Call the cops... for him.
- What are you talking about?

I'm talking about what your boss there
did to Gwen Dunckle.

Or Buckley, rather.

Gwen? You mean Gwen Phillips?

Phillips, okay. Yeah.

- He knows where is Gwen?
- Funny you should ask.

You're the one who raised the rent.
"Put out or get out."

- That's a little hard to believe.
- Why?

For one thing,
Karol doesn't own the apartment.

And two, she would have told me.
I've known Gwen since Toledo.

What's that babe up to?

You know Gwen?

Look what Aunt Millie
and Uncle Hughie sent.

Nice.

I bumped into Patty today.

- Who?
- Waitress at the Budapest.

You might not remember her, though she
was a pretty good friend of yours.

She helped you get your job there.

In fact, you lived in the same foster
home in Toledo for almost four years.

I gotta tell you,
I think she was a little offended...

that you didn't call her after your boss
busted in on you in your apartment.

And imagine his surprise when
I dropped in at the restaurant today...

and punched him in the face.

- You did that?
- Oh, yes.

For me? You punched Karol
in the face just for me?

I punched a totally
innocent Hungarian!

I know, but still, no one's ever done
anything like that for me before.

You lied to me.

Nothing new, I realize.

But just for the record, you lied about
having no place to go, didn't you?

This whole thing has been
one big put-on.

Everything with you is a fake,
a sham, isn't it?

I know about you.

I know about Ernie Phillips,
the knight in shining armour.

I know about finding yourself married
and living in Akron at 16.

What difference does it make?

"What difference does it make?"

It's the difference between fact
and fiction, for crying out loud.

Between real and unreal.

Between human interaction
and bullshit.

Just for once, Gwen,
just for laughs, tell me the truth.

Tell me why, for God's sake,
did you come here?

I just wanted to see what it would
be like to live in that picture.

Not just the house but...

the town and...

the people, the life.

I never had
anything like that before.

I really didn't intend for it
to get this elaborate.

It's just that everybody around here
keeps treating me like I'm somebody.

Except you.

What are you doing?

Catching a bus.

This is not something
you can just walk out on.

Not after all we've been through.

Gwen, how am I supposed to get
the promotion you gave me...

that Becky already thinks I've got...
if Moseby comes here tomorrow...

and finds you gone?

Do yourself a favour, Davis.
Let it go.

Hey, we made a deal.

Yeah, and the deal also included
that we got divorced, remember?

- I'll pay you alimony.
- What?

Just stay and help me
just through the reception tomorrow.

I'll give you a hundred bucks
a month.

- For life?
- Well, yeah.

Or until you remarry.
I mean, that's the custom, isn't it?

You're too much.

So what do you say?

All right, I'll stay.

Just keep your wallet
in your pocket, Davis.

- But I want you to have something.
- I don't want your money.

I will take the furniture,
though.

Okay now, George,
the turkey's got two more hours...

the Jell-O mould's in the fridge.

I'm just gonna get
to these cookies.

Sweetheart, did you
borrow a punch bowl?

- Yeah.
- From Aunt Millie.

- Aunt Louise.
- Not Aunt Millie?

Don't start, Pop.

- Gwen's folks in yet?
- Yes. She's picking them up now.

Ralph. Mary.

- Hello.
- Hey, where you been?

Have I got a job for you.

I'm gonna go on in and see
if Gwen's folks have arrived.

- You must be the lucky man.
- Well...

We're Gwen's folks.
I'm Ralph.

Excuse me.
Bernie Dunckle.

U.S.S. Pennsylvania,
assistant gunner's mate.

- That's Mary.
- Hello.

- They're good. Where'd you get them?
- I knew them from the Budapest.

- Let me get that, Mom, okay?
- Thank you.

All right, big moment now.

George and Edna Davis,
Bernie and Mary Dunckle.

- Here you go.
- I'll take that.

George, put her there, pal.

- Hello.
- Yes, hello.

I can't tell you how delighted we are
that our little peach...

did so goddam well for herself.

Good, firm grip.
I like that.

- This is a damn nice adobe.
- Thank you, Bernie.

Okay now, George, let's start off
with one of Gwen with her folks.

- I'm not dressed yet.
- You look fine.

Mom, the guests are starting to arrive
any minute.

Leave your mother be.
She's excited.

All right.

Now let's have one
with just the moms.

I tell you what.
Why don't you take this...

and Bernie and I will go
and break the ice.

Break it?
Hell, let's melt it.

I brought the whole clan
with me.

Bernie Dunckle,
U.S.S. Pennsylvania.

Come on over.

- No, Bobo, come on outside.
- What a greeting.

Gwen? Mary?
Where did they get off to?

Here you go.

Hello.

Oh, my God.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

- Where's Gwen?
- I was just gonna ask you that.

Sweetheart, the guests are arriving.
You're needed pronto.

Is that the best you could do
for parents?

You got them off the street,
for God's sake.

I see you.

Would you please get the hell
away from the keyhole?

- What is it? What's going on?
- Just go away.

Moseby's gonna be here any minute
and I don't think your parents...

can carry it off without you.
Please, Gwen.

Here is the bedroom and...

Something wrong, son?

Is Gwen in there?

She won't come out.
She's nervous or something.

Oh, boy. Moseby's here.
Oh, God. All right.

Moseby?
U.S.S. Pennsylvania!

Stay! Stay!

Hi. How are you?

- Davis! You look great.
- Maybe you should talk to her.

It's Mommy, angel.

We're all waiting for you.

- Hey, nice house, Newt.
- Oh, great. Thanks.

- Where's Gwen?
- What?

Where's Gwen?

She's in her room
and she won't come out.

- I thought she wanted this reception.
- This is what it's like with her.

I try and I try.

- Davis! There you are.
- Mr Moseby.

It was great talking with you,
Aunt Bea.

- Where's Gwen's dad?
- Let's go take a look.

Talk to me, sweetheart.

What is it?

He's such a lovely young man...

with a beautiful house
and a wonderful family.

What's the matter?

It's all gonna end.

What is, sweetheart?

You wouldn't understand, Mom.
Now go away.

I wouldn't understand?
Your own mother?

Please, Gwen,
don't shut me out.

Don't keep shutting me
out of your life.

Don't treat me like a stranger...
someone you just met on the street.

Is one of these guys Gwen's dad?

Gee, I don't know.
It was 40-some years ago.

- Hi, Newton.
- Hi.

- I think maybe this guy.
- That guy?

No, not that guy.
These are all old men now.

Not old men, but...

Let's go look for him
up in the loft.

You're breaking your mother's heart,
young lady.

- Don't yell at her.
- She's my daughter too.

She probably locked herself
in the bedroom...

because she didn't want to come out
and watch you get drunk.

Oh, so it's my fault, is it?

That's right, always blame me.
It's not like you were a lousy mother.

- Bernie, this isn't the time or place.
- You want to see drinking?

I'll show you drinking.

So you can see that both bookcases
are counterweighted...

so they can pivot easily, enabling
the entire room to be opened up.

So, where's Gwen's dad
and Gwen?

They might be downstairs
in the kitchen.

I wanted to show you
the kitchen anyway...

because a lot of architects
forget about the kitchen.

I don't know what all the situation is
between you and your folks...

or between you and Newton,
for that matter...

so I can't give you advice.

I won't tell you what to do.

I can only say we love you, Gwen.

You're family now.

I don't know if that means
anything any more.

But we're here for you,
sweetheart...

if you need us.

You are still in there,
aren't you?

So with the furnace positioned that way,
the duct work is minimized.

- I want to show you the front closet.
- You don't think they're in there?

How were you able top do this,
Davis, on your salary?

Mainly, I borrowed from my dad...

'cause you know how he and I are.

I want to show you the windows.
I chose the four-by-four panels...

- Moseby?
- Yes?

Assistant Gunner's Mate Bernard Dunckle,
U.S.S. Pennsylvania.

Seaman Third Class Winston Moseby.

This is great.
You know, your face is familiar.

I was just thinking the same thing
about you, sailor.

I'm just gonna say one word...
Midway.

Oh, what a night!

We got hit midships
by a torpedo.

Just then a Japanese Zero
comes in real low.

I get him in my sights.
Flames all around.

Gun so hot
I can hardly handle it.

I get him! Take that,
you motherless son of Hirohito!

- Just then I spot another one.
- We weren't hit.

- We weren't attacked by Zeros.
- You calling me a liar?

- Oh, God.
- Son, I think you should talk to Gwen.

- Whose side were you on, anyway?
- I can't right now, Pop.

- It's important that you talk to her.
- Who won the '43 World Series?

- Daddy.
- Gwen!

Winston, hi.
That's not what happened at all.

- It isn't?
- No. Dad went through quite a lot...

during the, you know, the big one.

Iwo?

Happened to a lot of good men.

- Yeah. I wanted to show you the...
- So beautiful.

Davis, would you sing
"Too-ra-Loo-ra-Loo-ra"?

- What?
- This would be the perfect time.

I was so moved by that story...

when you brought tears
to your father's eyes.

It would mean a great deal to me.

Davis has consented
to sing a song...

which is very special to him...

and his dad.

Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ra

Too-ra-loo-ra-lai

Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ra

Hush now don't ye cry

Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ra

Too-ra-loo-ra-lai

Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ra

It's an Irish

Lullaby

Sing "Roll Out the Barrel."

Put a lid on it,
will you Mom?

Don't take that tone of voice
with your mother, young lady.

Show some respect.

Winston.

Why, thank you, Bernie.

Something funny?

We were just telling Davis stories.

Oh, how fun.

Do you remember that time
that you built...

that tree house when we were kids
in my parents' back yard?

It was so incredible.

Davis built me a tree house too.

- He did?
- Yes. On our honeymoon night.

- Really?
- In a big tree up in the Boston Common.

And the cops didn't stop you
hammering away...

in the middle of Boston Common?

I prefabricated the panels
and secured it to the tree...

with cable suspension.

Isn't he the greatest?

So what line of work
are you in, Bernie?

- I'm retired.
- From what?

From all the big, hairy bullshit.

Davis, do you remember
our adventure walks?

- Oh, yeah.
- There was this one time...

we went looking
for a crashed meteor.

Son, could we speak to you
a second?

We've been talking
with Mary...

and she wants to get back together
with Bernie.

And your father and I were thinking,
if they could be close to Gwen...

- Like we're close to you.
- Right.

I'll build them a cottage
across the pond.

Davis, did we or did we not adventure
walk from Manhattan to Boston?

- Yes, we did.
- Satisfied?

- I never said you didn't.
- Ha! Like hell.

Do you think, for instance,
that this boy...

could have designed a house
as creative as this...

on a corporate kiss-ass committee?

All I said was that you and Davis are
obviously well suited for each other.

Don't you think I know
what that means?

I just meant that you're both
very creative.

So in other words, we're both liars.
I hope you're hearing this.

- Sweetheart...
- Don't defend her.

Are you listening
to what she's saying?

- I don't hear her saying anything.
- Exactly! That's the problem.

You don't hear and you don't see.

Don't you think I know
that you're in love with my husband?

Do you think I don't know
about your sympathy for him...

for having married
a fruitcake like me?

Well, you had your chance with him.

You had it building
your damn tree house...

and on your adventure walks and
on the day he offered you this house...

and you blew it.

I'm the one who found him.

And I'm the one who knows
what he's worth.

And you're the goddam one
he wants.

You're the one he wants.
Goddam it!

I'm sorry.
I'd better go after her.

I'm sorry, sir, about this
and about my father-in-law...

Oh, I remember Bernie.
He was always that way.

Davis, I don't know what's going on
between you and Gwen...

but maybe keep this in mind.

I wouldn't have seen this house
if it weren't for that wife of yours...

and I wouldn't be giving you
the promotion I'm giving you...

if I hadn't seen this house.

You are the best. It was miraculous.
I got the promotion.

Can I have your handkerchief,
please?

What? Oh, yeah, right.

It all looked so hopeless,
especially between Becky and your dad...

You know, I mean, Ralph.

In one stroke
you fixed everything.

I think maybe smashing the gifts
was a bit over the top...

but who am I to complain?

You did it, Gwen.
You did it.

I want this marriage to work.

- What?
- You heard me, damn it.

Was Maui nothing to you? Or Boomer,
the way we were able to work that out?

Okay, we had to go to counselling.

I'm not saying
that everything's perfect...

but I really think
that this marriage is worth saving.

What marriage?

Would you mind taking me
into town, please?

- Sure.
- Thank you.

She left me, Becky.

I don't know what got into her.

I thought the relationship
was going along fine.

I really did.

You tried.
You did your best.

I was never dishonest with her.

I always told her the truth...
about you, about everything.

Davis...

was it really true about the way
you met her in the hospital?

And about the way
you and she got married?

And the trip to Maui
and building her that tree house?

Look at me.
I'm crying like an idiot.

Of course you're crying.

No, I mean I'm really...

- Oh, God, Becky.
- Oh, Davis.

Just tell me the truth.

- Becky?
- Yes?

Everything she said was true.

I love you, Gwen.
I want to marry you.

- Is that it?
- Well, yeah.

Look, Davis, we're not right
for each other.

- What?
- I can see that now.

I don't want you to feel bad
about any of this.

You were really
kind of decent to me...

most of the time.

I can change, Gwen.
I can live in a make-believe world.

Hell, I already was.

Half the things we tell ourselves
are fiction.

The only thing I know that's real
is that I love you.

- I used to think that was enough too.
- Isn't it?

- Step aboard, please.
- Wait!

Don't you remember the time I...

I had myself delivered to you
in a box for your birthday?

And how the guy I paid
screwed up...

and delivered me
to the wrong apartment?

And how the lady
who opened the box...

freaked out
and started screaming?

And I ran out of there just as you
poked your head into the hall...

and the next thing I know,
this one's bashing at me...

for having an affair
with her neighbour...

and this one's bashing at me
for being some kind of...

gift-wrapped pervert.

And all I had to protect myself...

was a dozen long-stemmed roses.

And you never even
read the note.

- What'd the note say?
- I'll tell you what it said.

It said...

"Marry me, Gwen.
I'm lost without you."

What about my parents?

I love you, Gwen.

Actually, it's Jessica.