Original subtitles

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Come on!

Thank you! Thank you!

Good evening and welcome to The Great Indian Kapil Show!

Thank you! Thanks a lot!

-Kapil! Kapil! Kapil! -Archana ji...

Happy Women's Day!

Today is not Women's Day.

Every day belongs to the ladies.

-Yes! Of course. -Well, I feel we should

-keep wishing it to the ladies. -Yes.

It also makes the men's day.

You know, our Netflix team consists

-mostly of women. -It consists of women.

And as you can see, Netflix is making great strides with its tudums.

Keep the applause going!

What I mean to say is

the presence of women ensures success.

-Indeed. -In India, when a girl is born,

it is often said that the goddess Lakshmi has arrived in your home.

If a boy is born, no one ever says a god has been born. Never.

No one says that. Instead, they say,

"He looks mischievous just by his face. He's exactly like his father."

That's why we say, "Ladies first." After all, we're aware that

when girls initiate something new, it invariably succeeds.

Look at the team of the Chandrayaan program.

Most of them were women who made it possible to land on the moon!

I think boys tend to be a bit lazy.

Forget about Chandrayaan. When seeking shortcuts,

boys will navigate through narrow lanes on their bikes

just to get there faster.

When they encounter obstacles, they rely on the Google girl to guide them.

Also, I feel that girls progress because they are quite focused.

If they want to be a doctor,

they don't look at anything else until they attain their goal.

Boys are inherently confused from birth.

If you ask them what they want to become when they grow up...

"Tell me, son, what do you aspire to be when you grow up?"

"Teacher."

Teacher!

"Very good! Do you like to teach?"

"No, I like to hit people."

Some people are so confused that they can't decide for themselves.

They look at their friends. "What will you become once you grow up?"

"Tell me."

The second boy says, "I will become a dad."

The first one says, "I will become the same."

Women have influence everywhere.

I dare say they even have men under their control!

Today, we will be hosting four influential women as our guests.

-Wow! -Two of them wield rackets,

the third throws punches, and the fourth uses a gun.

Kapil, have you invited a gang of female dacoits?

Why do you always think about theft, loot, and stealing?

You said you've called a shooter and whatnot!

They are a gang of players. By racket, I meant one of them plays badminton,

the second one plays tennis,

the third one is a boxer, and the fourth one is a shooter.

For your kind information.

Instead of spending three hours on make-up,

spend 15 minutes learning about the show.

The four of them are at the airport today.

Please welcome the relentless boxer, Mary Kom!

Wow!

The fierce tennis player, Sania Mirza!

And the badminton queen, Saina Nehwal!

Come on!

Whoa!

Please come.

Welcome.

Thank you.

A big round of applause!

I welcome the three of you. You look lovely.

Come, please sit.

Why are you standing? Why don't you mop the floor?

Oh, God!

Why haven't you left yet?

Only if you go somewhere else will Archana ji and I follow you.

Why did you take a lift from him?

-Well... I don't know. -You could have walked instead.

Today, I have brought guests who are gold medalists.

-I deserve at least a little silver. -Silver?

Even your ancestral bangles are made of iron.

I went to his house. His grandpa was wearing them

and couldn't bring his hand out of his shawl.

I asked why he can't take his hands out. He said, "Open these if you can."

Don't trouble us. We have international guests here.

Well, if you have international guests, you have an international waiter too.

As a waiter, it's my duty to collect tips from you.

Sania ji, you can give me anything you want.

It could be anything. Perhaps a car to drive, or a bungalow to live in.

You could even hit him in the back,

or slap his face. Whatever you feel like doing.

If you can bear it, I will oblige you.

Oh, why not? Please come.

-Hey, no! -Come here!

No, I'm fine.

You are here for the first time. Please punch him once.

Punch me here.

My shoulder is hurting. This may cure the pain.

-Your arm will break. -Here you go.

He is overreacting!

I didn't even punch him that hard.

He is intentionally tumbling around to get more footage.

Someone who doesn't receive a script ends up with footage like this.

-Why are you troubling us? -No, I'm not troubling you.

Ma'am, the thing is, he underestimates me.

You see, I've aged a little now.

Otherwise, I am still capable of winning an Olympic medal.

-Which sport do you play? -Which sport do you play?

Cards.

It will be introduced later.

-Cards! -It hasn't been introduced yet.

-I'm very good... -He's from a family of gamblers.

If you visit his home, his father won't sit normally after serving tea.

He always sits like this.

I asked him why he sits like that.

He said that it would be easier to run in case of a police raid!

Listen to me. Just like you are a champion in the 51-kilogram category,

he is a 60-kilogram champion of shamelessness.

Answer this for me. If two people take 20 minutes to wash 20 utensils,

how much time will one person take?

They will take 40 minutes.

If you know that, why don't you go wash them? Scram!

I will... I will get you something. Yeah. Thank you so much.

It's great to see you all here.

You are looking so pretty. I swear.

Even when it's not winter, I thought oranges were in season.

Oh, my God!

Saina has been here before.

Mary has come to our show for the first time.

-Welcome to the show. It's a pleasure. -Thank you.

Thank you so much, Kapil ji.

The world knows you. But still, there's something I'd like to say.

All three of them have many titles to their names.

Mary Kom is the only female boxer

who has won the World Amateur Boxing Championship six times.

And she is the only boxer who has won eight world championships!

Wow!

Sania Mirza has won six Grand Slams.

And she has been the world number one in tennis doubles. Wow!

And Saina is India's first Olympic champion in badminton.

She has held the number one position in the world ranking.

Before we talk about lighter things,

I have a serious question for the three of you.

Archana ji wanted to know that when you win a gold medal...

She wanted to know if you go to a jeweler to verify

whether it's 18 or 24-carat gold.

Only a woman can understand that.

Indeed! A woman can understand, but Archana ji won't get it.

-Shut up! -No...

Mary, you look lovely in Indian attire.

I have always seen you wearing gloves and in your boxing attire.

-Yes, sir. -I was really scared

-when I saw Mary Kom. -Why?

Priyanka Chopra portrayed your role in that movie.

It was shown that Mary Kom was short-tempered as a child.

-I thought Mary would be short-tempered. -Well, I do get angry.

However, it's only to win.

-Otherwise, it's not... -You are so lovely.

Thank you. I want to say something.

I never get angry when I'm out on the streets,

in hotels, or at malls. I'm extremely polite.

But why would you get angry while walking around in a shopping mall?

Fans keep following us, right?

-They keep pestering. Because of them... -Imagine...

-You are amazing. Just for an autograph? -They...

No, I have to talk to them politely and explain it to them.

If they get upset with us, we will be cancelled.

And if I make a mistake,

they leave such mean comments behind.

I don't like that.

Now, I don't do anything at all.

-But I... -Are you angry now?

-No? -No, I'm not angry. I'm in a good mood.

-I'll just go there. -But you...

-No! -We will go.

We like it when you're angry.

Because we know that when you're angry, you bring us medals.

So, your anger is good. Just don't get angry here.

Okay, Kapil ji. Thank you so much.

When she joins her hands, I wonder when she will clench them into a fist.

Gosh! Did I do something wrong by joining my hands?

-What... -No, you didn't.

Sania, you have won so many gold medals. All three of you have.

I'm sure you don't shop for gold jewelry when you travel.

No, we just wear gold medals. Are you crazy?

Today...

-Very good. -Yes!

Okay.

Sania has come prepared. You will get all the answers.

If I'm scared of anyone, other than my wife, it's Sania.

-Why? -She answers back so well.

I wonder if she has breakfast with Johnny Lever!

Okay, since Sania started playing tennis, many girls began to follow her.

-Who was your idol? -I always wanted to be a tennis player.

But if I had been a boy, I would have been a cricketer

like all boys are in our country.

But I started playing after seeing Steffi Graf...

At that time, there weren't many role models.

-Yes. -Before us, it was P. T. Usha ji,

-whom we all watched as we grew up. -Yes.

But at that time, there was no social media,

and we didn't know who she truly was. We had just heard her name.

-Right. -We didn't have any accessible pictures

-of her the way we do today. -Right.

Back then, Steffi Graf was my favorite, and I aspired to play and be like her.

And today, everyone aspires to be like you.

-So proud of you. -Thank you.

Okay, everyone knows that if children sing well, their parents say

their children will grow up to be singers.

If they dance and act well, they will become actors.

Whose face did you break as a child

that your parents thought you would become a boxer?

Kapil ji, if I tell you the truth...

I simply asked that question. You don't need to answer. It's okay.

I've always been enthusiastic about sports.

I always wanted to play sports. You know...

like San... Sania... Saina Nehwal said... I mean...

Gosh! Saina and Sania! I got confused!

-It's just... -It's Sania.

The entire nation is confused!

-It's nothing new. -It always happens.

So, seeing Steffi Graf, I also developed a strong liking

for lawn tennis as a kid.

I wanted to play it once.

However, I come from a poor family.

I was born into a poor family.

We couldn't afford anything.

I really wanted to play lawn tennis in my childhood, you know.

I liked it and I wanted to play it.

However, I didn't have anyone to guide me.

Still, I played sports at my school and in my village.

It was all boys. Mostly, the girls never played.

To tell you the truth, only the boys played football

and the one with coins... What is it called?

-Marbles. -Marbles!

I aced that game!

There are numerous games that involve marbles.

-So talented. -Yes, the games...

I would hold a marble and then go like this...

I used to aim perfectly. I even hit and broke marbles that were far from me.

-My flick is so powerful. -Wow!

So, I used to challenge the boys and I played well.

I used to collect all the marbles.

They wouldn't even have a couple of marbles left.

This is my childhood story.

I have played marbles a lot.

-Bring them here. We will play. -Well...

How do I get marbles? I will have to go out.

Why didn't you tell me? I would have brought them.

Mary, tell me something. We have heard that

the husbands of female boxers are usually polite.

Are they naturally polite, or do they learn to be polite?

They are made to be!

Polite? Well, I don't know if he became polite or not.

Is he scared of you?

I don't know. I'd have to ask him.

-Mary, you are so lovely. -I have to ask him now.

She is so cute.

I have to ask him, right? If he gets all riled up, I don't think

he will be able to face me.

So, he won't be able to face you?

He will be done for with one right uppercut and a hook.

-He will be finished. -Finished.

As you all know, Saina is from Haryana.

Saina, in Haryana, people are generally quite fierce.

They take part in games like wrestling, kabaddi, and boxing.

How did you choose badminton?

Well, I didn't choose badminton. Badminton chose me.

-True. -Because...

Yeah.

If I hadn't gone to Hyderabad, I wouldn't have trained in badminton.

If I had stayed in Haryana, I would have become a boxer or...

After all, that's popular there.

But Hyderabad turned me into a badminton player.

And I'm happy that I became one.

Today, everyone wants to be a badminton or a tennis player.

And that's because of us.

That's true. You are an idol to millions of people.

Before Saina, China used to dominate the world of badminton.

Yes.

She entered the sport and played against the Chinese players so well...

Why were you after them? Did your Chinese phone stop working?

Or did the fairy lights that we hang during Diwali stop working?

There was a terror. They used to report it as "China vs. Saina."

-Yes. -What had happened?

To tell you the truth, I didn't like their yellow shirts.

-Everyone... -Even he is wearing yellow today!

-This is not yellow. It's neon. -Neon!

It's...

How about that?

I used to be enraged. In the top ten, you won't believe it,

there was Tine Baun from Denmark, me,

and the rest of the eight players were from China.

-Wow! -We met them in quarters and semis.

Those yellow uniforms would get me worked up!

I had to defeat them for my own peace of mind.

So what if it's China? India is better than them.

Sania, Shah Rukh bhai once told us a story.

He was in a foreign country. One man came running to him

and said, "Sir, my wife pointed you out to me because you're my favorite".

"You're Akshay Kumar, right?"

Shah Rukh bhai didn't say anything. He signed the autograph as Akshay Kumar.

Both of you have similar names. Saina and Sania.

Has it ever happened to you that people got your name wrong?

-Mary Kom just said it. -She did the same just now!

-Every time... -You know, if she wasn't a boxer...

"I would have beaten her up!"

That's for sure!

-Really? -But I'm not that brave.

How could you think that?

Before saying anything, Sania is holding her hand!

It always happens to us.

Recently, there was something on her Instagram page,

and I had messaged her.

She said, "Well, I'm used to it. They can say whatever they want."

-My name is "Sania Nehwal." -Even our spellings are similar.

-There's a one-letter difference. -It was a slip of the tongue.

I didn't do it intentionally.

Well, it happens.

-It's because of your names. -Everywhere.

People often confuse Archana ji with Puneet Issar.

After everything, he comes back to his first love.

Indeed.

I mean, look...

Everyone knows

that our three guests are trendsetters in their respective fields.

They have encouraged the girls of our nation

to try sports like boxing, tennis, and badminton.

Is there anyone here who has been inspired by them to pursue a career in sports?

You can raise your hand.

Yes, ma'am?

-Hello. -What do you do?

-Hello, Kapil sir. -Hello.

I shoot.

-Shooting? -Yes.

-Rifle shooting? -Yes.

-Will you show us now? -Of course.

-Bring the props, please. -Wow!

Wow!

We've created a butterfly out of balloons.

-Yes. -Burst a balloon from its forewings.

Choose any balloon you want.

Before, you were afraid of punches. Now, you've brought in a shooter.

He's deliberately standing at the back. Come forward.

Why don't you come here?

Now, aim for a green balloon.

Amazing!

-Blue. -Blue, on the top.

Wow!

-Very well done! -A big round of applause for her!

Okay, right now, you aimed at the balloons.

Now, we will give her a difficult task.

We have a target in the back.

She is aiming at you. Look.

I have never seen him move so fast.

I will go there.

She has excellent aim,

but I don't trust my luck sometimes.

No, she's aiming at you.

-You're her target. -If you get me killed,

you will lose your job.

If something happens to me, then you can act like a ghost.

-Yeah! -Wow!

Come and take her gun away first.

I don't know her nature.

So, take it away.

Archana ji, she's a player

who is going to represent India in the upcoming Paris Olympics.

-Yeah! -Wow!

Congratulations.

A big round of applause for Sift Kaur Samra!

Please sit.

Let me tell you something about Sift.

In the Asian Games, she won gold in the 50-meter rifle

-and created a world record. -Gold.

Sift, you are young and beautiful.

Many boys admire you, and I'm sure they also try to propose to you.

So, do they fall under the range of 50 meters?

Or do they stay 50 meters away from you?

After all, they know your aim is accurate within 50 meters.

Well, you can also hit them with a slipper within a 20-meter range.

Does anyone dare to propose to you?

Sometimes, but they get scared of my rifle

when I post something about my shooting.

Then they... Your smile doesn't reflect a dangerous nature.

-No, I'm not. -Sometimes, we feel that.

We think Mary is a scary boxer.

But look at how lovely she is! She's saying such wonderful things.

-Really? -I'm warning you. This isn't 50 meters.

Think before you speak.

When you told your parents that you wanted to shoot,

what was their reaction?

The first time I signed up for shooting at school,

my father called up the teacher and said, "She is not a shooter."

He responded, "That's okay."

"At least, she will get a certificate for playing at the district level."

After I played at the district level, I qualified for the state level.

Before going for the state level, my father thought

I should train to at least learn the basics of shooting.

So, he sent me to Chandigarh for ten days.

After that, at my first state competition,

I stood fourth using someone else's rifle.

After that, everyone was convinced that I could do it.

Then my father provided me with my weapon and kit the very next year.

Wow.

So, Sania plays tennis, and Saina plays badminton.

If they take their rackets along, they look stylish.

Have you ever gone shopping with your rifle?

Do it. You will get a discount.

If you point it at the shopkeeper...

What do you think?

-We wear gold medals. -Gold, yeah!

-One second. We wear our gold medals... -And go shopping!

...and carry our tennis rackets everywhere we go.

-For shopping. -Are we crazy?

I mean...

If I can't say such things,

all of us might as well be on the daily soap Yeh Rishta Kya Kehlata Hai.

I mean...

-It's just that I'm curious... -How do you come up with such things?

Look... It all depends on your upbringing...

I have heard about Saina that her father wanted her to be a doctor.

Her mother wanted her to participate in the Olympics.

And today, it's clear that

-your mother is the one in charge at home. -Indeed.

Did your father agree right away?

Or did your mother have to negotiate with him like Mary Kom in the ring?

My mother didn't give him a chance to protest.

She just made us listen to her.

My mother has also been a fan of Steffi Graf.

She had watched many of her matches.

So, after playing badminton for two months,

my mother said I should have played tennis.

"You'd make more money."

Mom!

It was the same for me. My father wanted me to be a doctor.

-But... -Your mother didn't.

My mother was like, "Okay, do whatever you want."

-Learn something. -So, Dad supported me.

That's good.

-What do I do? Shall I become a doctor? -No.

Listen to your wife. You can become a doctor later.

But I think that time is long gone.

You are trying to sing, right?

-You've got singing. -Yes.

Please sing a song for us.

-Which song? -Just one song.

-Kapil! Kapil! -Okay.

-Kapil! Kapil! -Okay, which song? I can't think of any.

This song is dedicated to the pride of our nation.

It is for all four of our guests.

Every day, my eyes

Witness only one dream

All night, the soot of desires burns

Through the lamp of dreams That illuminates my eyes

Every day, my eyes

Witness only one dream

All night, the soot of desires burns

Through the lamp of dreams That illuminates my eyes

Every day, my eyes...

Your hair is covering your eyes

In such a way

That my innocent dreams

Are having sleepless nights

Every day, my eyes

Witness only one dream

All night, the soot of desires burns

Through the lamp of dreams That illuminates my eyes

Every day, my eyes

Superb! Superb!

Saina, your parents always accompany you.

Saina's mom is here today.

-Mom. -Greetings, Aunty. How are you?

Why didn't you bring Uncle along?

You didn't bring Uncle along.

-He is at home. -Where?

-Home. -He's at home.

Why?

Don't you let him accompany you out?

Saina takes him along everywhere. I've just come here to meet you.

It's going to be messy.

So, Saina takes her dad along for her matches?

Yes. They just returned from America.

-Is that so? -Yes.

You seem to be upset that they don't take you along.

-Yes, they don't take me along. -They don't?

-No. -Someone, hold onto Saina's racket.

I feel that a fight is about to break out here, Kapil.

-She loves her father more. -Oh, my!

-That's not possible. -No, I'm telling you the truth.

A daughter loves her mother a lot.

-But... -I love my father a little more.

-A little more. -That's true. She loves her father more.

I just go along with them.

She took her father to America and brought her mother here.

-Look, Kapil... -She took her father to one country,

-but you will be seen in 192 countries. -Wow!

She told me that she would take me to Manali.

-Manali? -Manali.

Don't go there. It's too cold over there.

And she said she would take her father... What was the place?

-If you go to Manali, take him along. -No...

There will be fights. I won't go. You two can go.

Thank you, Aunty. Thank you for coming.

-Thanks a lot. -Thanks, Kapil.

Is your family here too?

My friends and family are here.

Where are they?

Rahul and Mansi, can you please stand up?

Hello, sir. Welcome. Welcome to the show.

I want a picture with you.

-I'm sorry, what? -I...

My family, friends and I want a picture with you.

-Is it possible? -Yes, sure.

Yes! Why not?

If not, I will be punched.

Enough! That's it! Now, you are provoking me!

-No... -He's...

No.

-That's enough. -Let him have a punch.

I was just joking. This is a comedy show.

Don't get angry.

Hey! Stop it!

Stop it!

Amazing! It was fun!

Saina ji.

-Yes? -I'm a big fan of yours.

I can't tell you...

How are you?

-Her fashion sense is great. -Yeah?

She's dressed in a net-like outfit. Wow!

I don't understand if I'm seeing you live or on the net.

Wow!

How dare you! Who is it?

Wow! Amazing! You held the net so well.

I want to give you two something.

Jeetu raho, beta!

That's just a blessing.

Am I supposed to give you my sea-facing bungalow just for holding the net?

What are you saying? I'm Jeetu, not some drunkard!

Wow! That was fun!

Hey!

-Wow! -Look, something fell. Over there.

-What happened? -What happened?

-Something fell. -You dropped something.

-Oh! -What was it?

I keep dropping something or other.

Be glad that I didn't dress up as Mona today.

-Why are you here? -I'm here for Sania Mirza.

-What? -I want Sania Mirza's help.

-Oh! I see. -What?

Please make me forget about badminton.

I'm in trouble because of it.

Since I did the song "Dhal Gaya Din," I've been facing problems.

What?

-Last week, my house was raided. -Why?

-The police said, "Capture Jeetu ji!" -Why?

"This man has been running his racket for years!"

I'm so troubled.

-I want to do something else in my life. -You...

Why don't you take shooting lessons from Sift?

No way! Who will work so hard?

She works so hard on shooting. First, learn shooting.

Then reach the finals. Then win a gold medal.

I haven't even reached a quarter yet.

-Have you played before? -No, I'm talking about drinking.

I...

I get sloshed after 30-30.

I have never even reached a quarter.

-But Maruti Swift ji, let me just... -It's Sift.

-What? -He called her Maruti Swift!

-Swift! -I...

-I want to tell you one thing. -Yes.

Do you get me?

I hope the crow in your throat doesn't fall out.

Forget about the crow in my throat.

I'm afraid that the falcon in my stomach will come out!

There is no need to work so hard.

-Learn shooting, win gold... -So, what do I do?

-Learn something from Archana ji. -Okay.

She doesn't shoot. She just takes out her gun.

She takes everything, not just gold. Purse, chain, pants, and so on.

She takes away everything.

-It was fun! -It was fun!

What happened to him?

-What happened? -What happened?

Hey!

I want to tell you...

-What is this? -Why did you pick up a papaya?

Looking at this, I always get emotional.

-Why? -Why is that?

This papaya reminds me of Tusshar.

Why?

Why?

-When he was a child... -Yes?

Whenever I returned home after shooting,

he would look at me and say, "Papa aya! Papa aya!"

"Papa aya!"

"Papa aya! Papa aya!"

Looking at it makes me emotional.

-I can't even tell you. -Oh, my goodness!

Mary Kom ji!

-How are you? -I'm doing well.

I want to see you in the ring.

Do you want to box with her?

No, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about this ring.

That ring is for fighting. This ring is for love.

-Is that so? -I see.

-Yeah! -Isn't that right?

-She's married and has kids. -Hey!

Hey!

Aren't you ashamed? She is married.

-Sorry, it was a foul! -Foul!

Amazing!

Whose phone is ringing?

It's mine.

What was that?

-What was that? -Hello, Ekta ji.

Ekta is your daughter. Why are you being so formal with her?

Always remember one thing.

Even if your father is an actor, a producer reigns supreme!

Ekta ji, how are you? Greetings!

-Greetings? -Greetings?

Ekta, I have a great idea.

Yes, I'm bringing Mary Kom along.

Call Priyanka Chopra. We will make a biopic.

It's already been made.

-Has it been made? -Yes.

Then I'm bringing Saina along. Call Parineeti Chopra.

-Even that is made! -We will make a biopic...

-It's already made. -It has been made?

Yes.

That's okay. I'm bringing Sania Mirza ji along.

Call Farah Khan. We will make biryani.

He is...

That was fun. Do you know? It's difficult to make biryani.

-Why? -How?

You need to find the right chicken.

-Let me tell you, Archana ji. -Yes.

-Once I caught a stubborn chicken. -A stubborn chicken?

-Yes, I put it in a cage. -Then?

-It escaped from the back. -Was it so stubborn?

Yes, it was so stubborn that I got angry.

I put it back in the cage and locked it from the front.

-Okay. -It escaped from the back again.

-Then I was enraged! -Yes.

So stubborn!

Yes! I was so angry that I cooked the chicken and ate it.

-Then? -But it was still stubborn.

Early in the morning...

Oh, my God!

Jeetu ji, your director is outside. He's looking for you.

It was nice to see you on this show.

It was fun.

-Thank you. -I'm so happy to see your friendship.

-Okay. -I'm sure you travel together. Right?

-Yes. -So, I'm taking one of your cars.

Come together!

You can give each other a lift.

-Bye! -Bye!

See you, guys!

Well done!

In the biopic on Mary Kom, Priyanka Chopra portrayed her role.

Parineeti Chopra portrayed Saina's role in her biopic.

Sania, if someone makes your biopic,

who do you think can do justice to your role?

Do they have any other relatives?

No, I think we have many good actresses in our country.

Anyone is fine. Or shall I do it myself?

-Yes! -You can certainly do it.

Shall I tell you something? I'm sure you know about it.

In an interview, Shah Rukh Khan sahab said,

"If a biopic on Sania Mirza is made,

I would like to play her love interest."

Now, tell me.

Will you let another actress play the role, or will you take it on yourself?

Now, I need to find a love interest first.

But if Shah Rukh ji plays the role...

-You will take up the role. -...I will take up the role.

And if Akshay Kumar plays the role, I will definitely do it.

Wow!

Okay, when Sania played the doubles,

all of you know that she had a great partnership with Martina Hingis.

I think you won 41 matches together.

-Amazing! -Wow!

Sania, you both had a long partnership.

Did she genuinely like the way you played,

or did you win her over with biryani?

-I mean... -I took Farah along.

She kept making biryani and I kept serving it.

No, I think...

All of us sitting here will agree with this.

When you hit a streak...

You know, athletes say that they were in the zone.

"I was in the zone."

Honestly, that's what we had for six months.

We used to feel confident that we wouldn't lose on the court.

And that feeling is rare among athletes.

I'm so humbled and privileged that I was able to experience that.

Starting from August 2015,

we didn't lose our first match until March 2016.

So, for nearly six to seven months, we forgot what it felt like to lose.

-We didn't know what defeat felt like. -Amazing!

Wow!

Has this ever happened to you? You have an important match,

but you got injured during the practice session.

And yet, you had to play without letting anyone know about it.

-Many times. -Many times.

It happens many times. There is no athlete who doesn't have a niggling injury.

You have to assess whether

you can perform fully with this injury or not.

So, it's a part and parcel of our job.

-It's a part of... -You won't believe it,

but to be honest, during rallies, every badminton player's feet get heated.

-I see. -We sustain large, bleeding blisters.

-We apply... -So, what about the next match?

-We have to play it. -In pain?

In pain. I played with such big blisters.

My physio was like, "Will you be able to play?"

I said, "I must win."

But once you're on the court, even though it hurts badly, even though it's painful,

you also want to win the match.

-Awesome. -It's very difficult.

Mary, when I watch boxing in movies,

the coach would put something in the boxer's mouth before the match.

-A safety guard. -A guard.

-A denture guard. -Yes.

I used to wonder, "Why does every boxer chew paan before boxing?"

I came to know about this quite late.

-Is that so? -Yes.

Yes.

-Don't be angry! -No, I'm not...

I have never been angry.

-But now, you are enraging me. -No!

-You have been pulling my leg. -Show him how angry you can be, Mary.

-Now, you tell me. What do we talk about? -No...

We wear the guard to protect our teeth.

And it's not just in boxing. They wear it for ice hockey as well.

But you just pointed boxing out.

-Forgive me. -Completely...

While talking, she clenches her teeth when she looks at me.

Makes me wonder if she's angry at me.

-No, I'm just joking. -Why...

-Just joking? Okay, fine. -Yeah.

This is my bread and butter.

Don't be angry.

Everyone knows how witty Sania is!

-What am I? -Very witty.

Oh, witty!

At everything I say...

Sania, were you my elder sister-in-law in a past life?

Sania has watched many TV serials with her mother as a kid.

Sania, let's do something impromptu.

Imagine that you are a new daughter-in-law and I'm your mother-in-law. Okay?

-Let's do it. -Bring tea for me.

Let's have some fun. Okay?

Bring two dopattas.

Bring me tea in the Netflix mug.

Daughter-in-law!

Nice one!

Idiot, you didn't bring me my tea!

-Tea... -I have married into an illiterate family.

Where's my tea?

Mother-in-law, here's your tea.

Wow!

Is this tea or poison?

I made tea. I think it turned into poison once you tasted it.

In any case, just have it. The poison won't have any effect on you.

What sort of daughter-in-law are you? How dare you antagonize me!

Be grateful that I just antagonized you.

You see my friend over there?

If I bring her here,

your fake teeth won't last even though they're protected.

Gosh! She's talking back to me. Forget about the tea.

Bring me my BP medication.

If I ask Sift to take a shot at you...

all your ailments will be cured.

-Shall I? -Hey!

A big round of applause for Sania!

Thank you, Sania. Thank you.

Oh, my! The gold medalists of our nation are here!

A big round of applause!

Can you guess what I made for you?

-Is that so? -Guess it.

This is... I'll tell you.

Gold ka halwa!

-This is gajar ka halwa. -But it is 24-carrot, bro.

"24-carrot"!

I made it using 24 carrots, ma'am.

-Twenty-four! -Made it with...

Don't eat anything made by him, Sania.

The other day, a customer ordered chicken keema.

He brought a chicken and it's ma.

-That's how he works. -Chicken ki ma...

Well, he asked for chicken keema, so I got him the chicken's ma!

If he had asked for chicken kebab, I would have got the chicken's baap!

Why are you here?

Just like Virat Kohli, I want to be your dietitian as well.

-Are you Virat Kohli's dietitian? -No, I want to be his dietitian.

-Virat Kohli! -In the same way,

I want to be your dietitian too.

You can hire me as your dietitian.

Believe me. Trust me.

I promise to remove pizzas, burgers,

samosas, and kachoris from your lives.

How? First, look at yourself. How will you become our dietitian?

You aren't able to diet, and you are...

Mary ji, that's the plan!

As soon as the samosas and kachoris

-come toward you... -No, I don't want it!

...I will eat them!

Why do you think I have a paunch? It's for your fitness.

-Is that so? -I won't let any junk or fried food

reach you. Everything will go here.

I'm doing this for you. Trust me.

Okay. All right then.

By the way, Mary Kom ji, let me tell you.

I've made a special powder for you. You will love it.

-Powder. -I have made such a powder

that if you use it, you will never lose a boxing match.

How? What is this powder?

It's a powder made from red chilies.

Before your match, place it on your hand

and blow it in the eyes of your competitor.

I was thinking about something else.

-No, no. -That is cheating.

In English, it might mean cheating. But in Hindi, it means powder.

Wow!

-You are being nonsensical again. -Wow!

Okay, let me say something sensible.

-Go ahead. -I will spread knowledge.

-So, Saina ji. -Yes?

You have a dot over here, on your cheek.

-A dot! -It's really lovely.

Thank you.

If I take the dot and place it on Mary ji's face,

she will become Mary Dot Kom.

-This... -Mary Dot Kom!

Mary, tell me one thing.

Do you only fight with gloves on, or do you hit people without them too?

-She can fight without gloves. -He's your target. Practice on him.

Hang on. Hang on.

On a serious note, Sift ji, you studied medical sciences, right?

You know, when the doctors write prescriptions,

Archana ji, as you must have seen,

their handwriting is impossible to decipher.

It's very complicated.

I got a prescription from a doctor.

I'm unable to read it. Can you read it for me?

-"I love you." -I love you too!

Oh, man!

Dhaniya Lal, you cheated!

-Bring Sift's rifle. Where is it? -No, no!

She will practice boxing on me. She will shoot me.

-Yes. -Why am I being attacked?

There's so much area available. Why don't you open an academy?

There's so much area available!

Will you make him cry? Silly girl.

Stop this.

Mary, you didn't notice. He doesn't have a neck.

His head is placed on his shoulders.

-Today, he will make you cry. -That's not the case.

The thing is, once upon a time, I wanted to be a sportsman too.

The way my life is going on, I won't be able to go to the Olympics.

-He won't be able to... -No?

-No. I can't. -Given the way you've been talking,

I doubt you can even go home.

Let's see. I've called the Olympic here. Would you like to meet the Olympic?

-Wow! -Shall I call?

-Of course. -Sure.

Olympic!

Olympic!

As you can see, these are the five rings

that make up the Olympic symbol.

Correct?

I would like to gift you all one ring each.

Take this.

-I'll take the yellow one. -Take the color that suits you.

Here you go. Please come forth.

Let's see if this ring can be balanced by your body or not.

Let's give it a shot. Let's start. Let's go!

Oh, not bad!

Come on!

I can't do it!

I can't.

Look, not bad!

Look, I could do it.

Where is it going?

Thank you so much. It was great to meet you all.

-Thank you! -All right. I'll meet you later.

-Thank you! -Take care!

Sania, Mary, Saina.

The three of you have spread our nation's fame worldwide

through your respective sports.

Sift is preparing right now.

She's about to participate in the Olympics.

Would you like to give her any advice as a senior?

Yes, I need it.

Expectations will be high, of course.

Sometimes, it's not easy. You will feel scared.

But trust that if you have worked hard, your results will be good.

Don't focus on anything else.

Because we get one take in four years.

And we don't know if we will get another chance.

Just go with that little bit of fear.

Because fear is necessary.

Without that fear, you won't get the desired results.

Enjoy that fear, but at the same time, just enjoy yourself.

And go for it.

Thank you so much.

Never think that you are weak.

Never think that you won't be able to do it.

Stay positive.

Stay strong. And your game...

It's a mind game. You need to be focused.

You need strong willpower. You need to be mentally strong.

When you feel confident and strong,

no one will be able to defeat you.

That's what I believe.

Thank you so much, ma'am.

I know you will perform well and bring a medal for the nation for sure.

Thank you.

I think they have covered everything,

but the most important thing is to believe that you are the best.

There was one billion people and you have been chosen...

-Wow! -...to go and play over there.

That's right!

Normally, under the pressure of the match, athletes or sportspersons

listen to music or cook.

But I have good news for you.

Download Netflix. Our show is available in every country.

Hello, Engineer sahab!

Oh, God!

We have four heroines here today.

-Wow! -They are not heroines.

They belong to the sports field.

No, they are not film heroines, but they are our nation's heroines.

You got it right!

-Why are you standing? -Amazing.

You can sit there.

Show me your watch. It's so good.

-Wow! Very nice! -I bought it yesterday.

-Is that so? Great! -Thank you.

-So, tell me. -So...

-All good at home? -Yes. All good.

What about you? All good at home?

What do I even tell you about my home?

-Tell them your name. Introduce yourself. -I'm Engineer Chumbak Mittal.

-Chumbak Mittal! -Engineer. I'm a runway engineer.

Don't take us to be easy. You see, our hands are quite powerful.

I could never do that to you.

I must tell you that I think of myself as the Saina Nehwal of this airport.

-Airport. -She plays badminton.

You drive the birds away. You know there are birds on the runway?

He just drives them away. He's not an engineer.

-He scares birds away. -Even she hits the bird with her racket.

-Yes! -So, it's the same.

We make the birds fly.

Well, when you play, you get a gold medal. Right?

The difference between us is that I get 28,000 rupees.

After all the cuts, I get 32,000 rupees.

Really?

-After the cuts... -After the cuts, you should get less.

No. I bite and cut into the manager's hand.

He's telling the truth. His teeth are sharp.

The other day, he bit into Archana ji's car tires.

-Why? -He was puncturing your car's tires.

Oh! So, it was him!

I want to avoid this.

Sometimes, our arguments take a chaotic turn, and I don't want to...

I'm here after a long time and I want to talk to you.

-It took him six years... -I was missing you.

-Really? -I missed you.

Even I was missing you.

We meet only here. We don't meet anywhere else.

-I have a problem. -Okay.

Mary Kom ji, the way you are Mary Kom,

I belong to the unmarry kaum.

I'm still unmarried.

I'm saying this to all four of you.

Sift ji, you too. If you know anyone in your sports circle...

-Please try to avoid a boxer. You see... -Of course.

What about a shooter?

Without a bullet, even a shooter is fine.

If you have anyone in your circle,

-even I can get married. -We will keep it in mind.

-So sweet. -Will you get married at this age?

You've surpassed the marriageable age two or three times already.

-Look at his face. -Avoid.

I want to avoid this.

Why do you want to repeat the same thing?

You are making our guests feel uncomfortable.

-Are you comfortable? -Very.

Can I get comfortable too?

This man won't listen to me.

-Are you comfortable now? -Would any one of you like to...

No.

-A little... -Thank you.

No.

We are very comfortable. Oh, my!

Saina ji, I always thought that

when you play badminton, the bird...

What's a bird? That's a shuttle.

In Hindi, it means bird. Don't be patronizing!

You've become more confident after drinking.

I just had two shots.

-Directly from the bottle. -From the bottle.

-It's called a bird, right? -You can call it whatever you want.

You hit it from one side.

I always wondered why it turned its face upon being hit.

When you strike it from the other side, it turns its face again.

-Good question. -I just understood the reason.

Why does it happen?

It looks at who hit it.

My situation is just like the bird's.

When someone hits me from here, I perceive it as my loneliness.

When someone hits me from the other side,

it turns out to be taunts.

"When will you get married?"

"When is your wedding?"

"How long will you stay a bachelor?"

"All men your age have..."

There's no need for rain and storm.

I'm stating something normal.

People taunt me so much. What do I do?

-I... -It's wrong. They shouldn't.

-Have another drink. -Yes, sure.

Yes.

Thank you. Yes, I will throw you a party.

I will.

You don't get water in your house and today, you are getting calls.

Did you get a promotion?

-No. -What is it today?

It's my birthday today!

-Happy birthday! -Happy birthday!

Party!

Why are you so angry if it's your birthday?

Why are you so sad on your birthday?

I have stopped celebrating my birthday since last year.

-Why? -Why?

Did the government implement a ban to prevent such kids from being born?

Well...

Last year, I was at home on my birthday.

A girl used to work at this airport.

Sonam.

She...

She called me and said,

"Chumbak, I saw on Facebook that it's your birthday."

"Come home."

I said, "Okay."

I went towards her house. I got her call on the way.

She said, "We will play Truth or Dare at home."

So, she asked me to bring a bottle.

I said, "I can't find an empty bottle now to spin."

She said, "Buy a full bottle. We'll finish the drink and then play."

What happened?

Then she said, "Bring your friend Bobby along."

Okay.

I agreed and the three of us met.

I spun the bottle. It pointed at me first.

I chose truth.

She urged me to pick a dare since it was my birthday.

So, I chose dare.

She said, "Your dare is to go home."

"Go home and sleep."

I went home. I wasn't sleepy.

And yet, I slept because it was a dare.

Yes.

-The next afternoon, Bobby came to me. -Okay.

He told me, "Happy birthday to you. I had great fun at your party."

-It's okay. -Oh, no!

-Hey! -Please don't cry.

You look terrible when you cry.

We will celebrate your birthday here...

-Happy birthday to you! -...with the champions!

-Please bring his cake. -No need to bring a cake. I have one.

Cake!

Can I celebrate with you?

-Yes. -Yes.

Can you join me there?

But give us a good expression first.

Smile a little.

This is my good expression.

-You haven't seen my bad face yet. -Haven't seen yet!

No, this is good.

-Where's the cake? -Another one!

-He has downed the bottle. -He'll be hungover tomorrow.

Last time, you vomited on the sofa!

You can clean it this time as well!

Come on.

-Well said! -Come on!

Okay.

You've installed a red light on your bike as if you're some kind of minister!

Hold this, bhaiya.

Bhaiya!

That's a lovely cake!

-Wow! -Wow!

-What a lovely cake! -A tennis court.

-Rifle. -Badminton. Boxing.

-It's so beautiful. -Cut it.

-It's a nice cake. -He's so happy.

-Actually, I... -Why is he crying?

-I'm missing my mother. -Oh, God!

When I was a kid, my mother would always sing for me.

Archana ji, on my birthday, she would sing...

Oh, my! Oh, my! Oh, my! It's your birthday!

Is that so?

Cute baby! Cute baby Cute baby!

Whose birthday is it? Whose birthday is it?

It's my magnet's birthday!

Oh, my! Oh, my! Oh, my! It's your birthday!

Cute baby! Cute baby!

Cute baby! Cute baby! Cute baby! It's your birthday!

Whose birthday is it? Whose birthday is it?

My magnet!

Oh, my! Oh, my! Oh, my! It's your birthday!

Cute baby! Cute baby!

Cute baby! Cute baby! Cute baby! It's your birthday!

Whose birthday is it? Whose birthday is it?

Oh, my! Oh, my! Oh, my! It's your birthday!

Cute baby! Cute baby!

Cute baby! Cute baby! Cute baby! It's your birthday!

Whose birthday is it? Whose birthday is it?

My magnet!

Oh, my! Oh, my! Oh, my! It's your birthday!

Cute baby! Cute baby!

Cute baby! Cute baby! Cute baby! It's your birthday!

Whose birthday is it? Whose birthday is it?

Oh, my! Oh, my! Oh, my! It's your birthday!

Cute baby! Cute baby!

Cute baby! Cute baby! Cute baby! It's your birthday!

Whose birthday is it? Whose birthday is it?

My magnet!

Oh, my! Oh, my! Oh, my! It's your birthday!

Whose birthday is it? Whose birthday is it?

I would like to thank Sania Mirza ji,

Mary Kom, Saina Nehwal, and Sift.

Many congratulations to you for your participation in the Olympics.

-Wish you all the best! -Thank you.

-Wish you all the best. -You can do it! Yes!

-Good luck. -Thank you.

Thank you, guys! Good night! Sweet dreams!

Come on!

A big round of applause for Badshah, Divine, and Karan Aujla!

I was scared after watching those hunting dogs in your video.

Even I was terrified at first.

Imagine that you're dressed up as a Russian don,

and the video suddenly shows you groaning in pain.

Moreover, your leg piece is meaty.

If you get smart with me,

I'll rip your handkerchief to shreds right here!

We refer to something else as a handkerchief.

Karan paaji and Divine are appearing on our show for the first time.

So, Divine, what do you think? Aapka time aa gaya?

Paaji, your fans do love you.

Has anyone ever requested a photo in a strange location?

In the washroom.

"Paaji, selfie!"

"Please be mindful of how you aim the camera!"

Oh, my!

Jurassic Park?

I'm scared!

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