Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

What's wrong with you?

These people have paid to come and watch.

-Where do you think you are going? -Hey, man, we're waiting for you.

-Come on, sing a song. -No please, I'll handle it.

This girl paid to come and listen to a song by Louw… Louw… Louw van Lier.

Keep quiet, please.

I don't give a damn who he thinks he is.

Just give us a song.

No.

I'll send you to your grave!

Who do you think you are?

Everybody told me Louw van Lier is a nobody.

But for Karien's sake, I decided to give you another chance.

Now I see they're right. You are a nobody.

And don't think you can ever come back here!

Nobody… will give you a chance again!

Because nobody will ever remember you!

Matewis!

The boxes.

Matewis!

Sorry, did you… leave it, I will.

Perfect timing, as always!

I'm done.

Why didn't you mention anything about Louw coming?

I only found out this morning.

This morning?

I told him our home will always be open.

He's my brother, Matewis.

He grew up here.

What about our meeting with Wim?

You'll just have to handle it on your own.

Alright?

I have an appointment with the bank.

I'll first have to hear what they say.

You know it's not going to help the situation.

Sell me the place, you won't get another offer like this.

Matewis…

I think the time has come for you to accept that you're not a farmer.

Is everything okay? I was getting worried.

I'm seated in the passage Where the sun can sing

It's quiet in the corner and it's cold

Can you see what the wind And the rain does to me

Sun catcher

I'm asking you nicely

Let it shine for me again

Can I help you carry anything?

Your guitar?

No, it's not necessary, thank you.

Let's go inside.

I thought you might like to be in your old room.

We just use it as a storeroom.

I think there will be a few shocked faces in town

when they see how much you resemble him.

Almost as if his ghost is roaming the streets.

Remember when I took this one?

It was the day I think we all knew.

I don't take photos anymore.

What's more to see?

It's always the same.

Nothing changes.

It would probably help me if I ever go blind.

But luckily my brother is here.

So finally we will have some excitement.

Matewis is somewhere on the farm.

We had to lay off some people.

So he will probably try to convince you to help him with a few things.

Thank you.

That I can stay here.

Of course.

I told you so, anytime.

It's good that you came.

I've missed you.

-You were unbelievable! -Thank you.

There you go. Excuse me.

I'll be back.

Hey, what's wrong?

Aren't you excited?

So now you have everything you've always wanted.

What I wanted?

I thought it was what we wanted?

Hey, hey, hey, what's going on?

You…

should be proud of me.

Of course, I'm proud.

So what then?

Sometimes I think you don't really love me.

Did you have to bring that up now?

Hmm?

Can't you… I…

I've just had the biggest show of my career.

How…

How can you be so selfish?

-Yes, I am selfish. -Yes.

I'm so sorry Louw, you were unbelievable.

I can see you are so happy.

Now you have everything you've always wanted.

Nothing!

Typical!

-You know what? -What?

You will never do it!

I really thought that tonight would be the perfect night.

-So I… -Louw! Louw!

I'll… I'll be there now. Hold on a moment.

Karien.

Hi.

I wanted to wake you but I thought you could do with the rest.

I forgot my phone.

I was afraid you'd try to phone.

Remember Dad never allowed us to ever touch that cup?

I'm still too afraid to touch it.

Have you eaten? I can make you something.

No. Thank you. I…

I'm just going for a walk.

I can go with you.

Come, come, come boys.

Hurry up! Hurry up!

We don't have the whole day.

Can you lift it?

Louw!

Come and help!

Come help, please! We still have a lot of work to do.

The guys don't know what they're doing!

Let's go, let's go. Come on. That's it.

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Yes!

Thank you.

Porridge, huh? Porridge.

Thanks. There's something else I want you to do.

Come.

Sandra, this is a surprise.

-I haven't seen you in a while. -Sorry, I did knock, but I…

Is Louw here?

Oh, I saw him in town yesterday.

Well, he drove past the school.

He went for a walk.

Hopefully, he doesn't run into Matewis, else who knows what time he'll be back.

Oh, I brought him something.

Well it's for all of you but I remember he likes it.

Banana bread.

It was always his favourite.

You are welcome to wait a while.

I'm just clearing up.

No, I must get back. I have a class just now.

I'll tell Louw you were here.

Okay.

Tell him to pop in when he gets a chance.

The children will be so excited

to see a real musician for a change.

Bye.

It looks like it's all coming back to you.

A few years ago…

we almost lost everything.

See those trees over on that side…

that's where the fire started.

I really feel sorry for that little guy.

His father is Wim Cloete.

Wim thinks he can own this whole town.

He owns the farm next to us and he has a few other farms.

We…

Marie…

sold a section of the farm to his father.

Oh.

I didn't know.

Nothing is going on there, just a few dilapidated buildings.

We've been using it for a couple of years to store some broken stuff.

Marie and I

used to go there and shoot my Dad's gun.

How's my sister doing?

You know her.

She has a heart of gold.

She always makes time for everybody.

She is helping out at one of the shops in town.

Are you finished?

-Hmm. -Can we go?

Did you bring my guitar in?

I…

It was outside and I…

Did you go through my clothing?

I just unpacked it.

I thought it might be good if somebody took care of you.

I am not a child! I don't need anybody to take care of me!

Would you like me to take it back outside?

I'll add it to my list of a million things I must do tomorrow.

Is the food ready yet?

It smells amazing.

Yes, you can sit so long.

Leave my stuff alone.

I'm longing for you

For the wind that wraps its arms around me

That's how I'm longing As the sun and the moon and the wind

And the clouds pass me by

Are you longing for me too?

In the distant land where you live

And are you longing As the sun and the moon and the wind

And the clouds pass you by

That's how I'm longing As the sun and the moon and the wind

And the clouds pass me…

Hey!

Sorry, Sir.

I… I didn't know you were there.

No, no, don't worry. I just…

I just got a fright.

I'm Louw.

Was it… Was it you that was singing?

Uh, no… No, Sir.

S… S… Sorry I bothered you.

No, you, you didn't…

Your coach phoned me.

You didn't go to practice again.

Do you want to disappoint me?

Venter, look at your father when he's talking to you.

And that?

Did you get into a fight again?

N… N… No.

No, Dad.

What have I always told you?

There are only two types of people in this world.

The hunters and the prey.

The weak ones.

Those who are left behind.

And we…

We are never the prey.

I'll deliver the package if you like.

If through it all, you get the time

please drop that off as well.

Okay, it's fine.

Excuse me… Do you need help, Sir?

Louw!

Louw.

My word! Please to meet you.

Henk.

Marie has told me so much about you.

It's great that you're back in town.

Hopefully, we'll get a chance to hear you play.

What?

You said he must start playing again.

I… sometimes listen to your music while I'm working.

Really… it's very deep.

Thank you.

Your ability… gift to capture emotion is,

you know, the heart and soul of a song, right?

Well, there's a table back there that needs me, um…

I'll see you tomorrow.

And… Louw.

A pleasure meeting you.

Likewise.

Sometimes I help out at the shop.

Matewis said so, yes.

-Louw, I'm sorry… -Marie, please it's…

Louw! Marie!

Here you are.

I'm not following you, I promise.

So when are visiting my class? Huh?

I… I don't think…

The children were excited when they heard the famous Louw van Lier is in town.

I played them some of your songs.

Well, actually, some of them have already been performed.

I'm sorry. You should know me by now. I get so carried away.

So how does it feel being back in town?

-Yes, I… -It must be quite boring?

-He's helping Matewis on the farm. -Oh, really?

Um… Do you know a…

a child, Wim?

-Wim's son? -Oh, Venter?

Wim Cloete's son. Yes.

He's in our school.

I mean, he attended my class once or twice, but…

He just sat there. I think he was too shy to participate.

Anyways…

Uh, Sandra! I'm late again.

Okay, Louw, it was so good to see you. Come and visit! Please!

Okay, guys. Bye.

Wow! She has lots of energy. She could give some to Eskom.

Um, hey, when…

When last did you see Mom?

I go every week.

I don't think she recognises me anymore.

If you catch her on a good day…

She often asks about Dad.

I just say he's somewhere on the farm.

It seems like it makes her happy.

I'll see you back at the farm? Yes, fine.

Bye.

It's a farm!

There are always good times and bad times.

I need your help.

I've always paid!

How long have I been one of your clients?

P… P… Piggy!

Nice!

Please listen to me, Mrs. Malan.

The world has become green.

Yes.

My dad has pushed the workers hard the last few years.

He sounds as if he can be quite strict.

D… D…

D… Do…

Do you know…

M… M…

Miss… Naude?

We were friends in high school.

A… A… Are…

Are you going to help in her class?

No.

I don't think so.

H… Her…

Her class…

performed your version of "I Miss You" last year.

It seems like she really likes that one.

That was unbelievable.

I just needed to tell you that.

Uh.… I um…

I love the way you interpret the songs.

I've never heard "I Miss You" sound like that.

With so much passion.

The whole audience was enchanted.

-Thank you. -Karien.

Louw.

I think I have a card here somewhere.

I know most of the club owners.

Give me a call. I'll arrange something for you.

-Thank you. -Pleasure.

Karien… Yes.

I…

often listen to your…

music.

I'm sorry to hear that.

So you like heartbreak songs?

I…

I… I like…

to know that I…

to know that I'm not alone.

That…

That there are other people who…

I always thought…

feeling that way would make me more creative.

But there comes a point where…

where things get too bad to write about them.

I understand.

Uh, uh, that's m… m… m… my dad.

-I… I have to go… -It's okay. It's okay.

If you ever need anything, come and look for me at the farm.

T… Thank you.

Where have you been? Huh?

I told you to wait in the car. Huh?

Get in.

I know you don't think I'm good enough for you.

But I don't know what more I can do!

I did not want to be a farmer.

I did it for your father… for you!

I… Your whole family!

But everything I do, it's not good enough for you.

What do you expect when I find out from the bank

that we might lose our home?

I can't live with so much uncertainty every day…

What do you want from me?

Don't always run away to the farm every time

when things get tough or dark or unhappy.

I can't talk to you about this.

-I want to talk to you. -Leave me alone!

Louw, I didn't realise you'd be back already.

I only do it when I need to relax.

And don't be worried, it's only farm issues.

Nothing for you to stress about.

You left this place behind a long time ago.

Aren't you going to say something?

You're just like Matewis.

Why do you do this?

Even when we were kids, you'd lock yourself in the room

and I had to get along on my own!

And when you came out you'd make as if nothing was wrong!

I don't know how Karien survived with you!

And you two?

It seems the only thing that can keep this farm alive is anger!

The dancer was gone

By midnight the moon was sad and beautiful

And when the new morning Arose from the mountain

Grey birds were watching us

Forty days and forty nights

We're looking for the mystical farmer

Like the black horses of midnight thoughts

He keeps on his guard and watches

Over his shoulder with a strange grin

And danced in the night

With the moon over his shoulder

With an eye which bravely came closer

To ask me my name

P… P… P… Piggy.

P… P… P… Piggy!

Wow, Piggy, but you've got some pair of tits.

They're almost bigger than Miss Naude's.

P… P… Piggy.

Should I get you one of my sisters br….br…. bras?

P… P… Piggy. I'm talking to you.

P… P… Piggy.

Leave me!

-Leave me… -Geez!

Piggy got himself a nice pair of balls this holiday.

Hey, hey!

Hey, what's going on?

Hey!

Venter, Venter!

Stop.

Boys.

Out.

Hey! I'm warning you!

Venter?

S… Sorry, Sir…

Pl… Please don't phone my parents.

-P… P… Please… -Okay, okay, okay.

Who can I call then?

Do you want to talk about it?

Uh… no.

S… S… Sorry that I bothered you.

Not at all.

I'm glad you did.

Did you take music lessons when you were at school?

-Louw… -No…

So kind of you to come and visit me.

Well… us.

Hello Venter, it's good to see you again.

Hello, Miss Naude.

Okay, so I told my children you were going to pop in.

They're so excited to see you.

Yes, bu… uh…

Look if you can bring me the sun

There's a song that the sun can sing

It's quiet in the corner In the cold season

Can you see what the wind And the rain does to me

I'm asking you nicely

Let it shine for me again

Well done, guys. Okay.

Continue so long with what we started working on yesterday

and next time we can ask Louw a few questions. Okay?

Quiet.

Hey, are you okay?

I can't do this.

Don't stress, they don't bite.

I told you I can't do this!

We need to go.

Louw?

Louw.

Can't you see I'm not ready for this?

Sorry, when I saw you I thought you…

What? Hmm?

What did you think? I was here to see you?

-No, I… -Don't!

You were always like this.

Leave me alone.

I told you not this one!

Mrs. Malan, let's find the right one.

Philip, tell her to get away from me.

Let's go and sit, Mrs. Malan. Come.

We're just going to sit for a bit.

There you go.

Can you give me the beige jersey, please?

-There you go. -Thank you.

She never listens to me.

I've told her, this one is my favourite.

Hey.

Hey, Mom.

Hey, Mommy, it's me.

I'm here.

I love looking at this photo of the two of you.

You look so happy.

Did you bring her with you?

I would love to meet her.

Your dad as well.

Mom, she um…

She really wanted to be here, Mom.

Marie got those CDs for your dad.

What CDs?

I couldn't believe it myself.

I always tell them how famous my son is

but I don't think they believe me.

But I always knew.

You have this inner strength within you.

You always made me so proud.

Mrs. Malan, it's time for your medication.

Thank you very much.

Thank you very much, my dear.

Don't you want to play something for me?

It's nice to just feel normal again for a change.

All I get these days are pitiful looks. As if…

I'm suffering from some terminal illness.

Except Matewis.

I guess he just doesn't know any better.

Karien is dead.

And… I cannot change it.

Nobody can.

And…

I know you blame me for leaving.

And that's okay.

I know you didn't have a choice.

You also had dreams.

Mom needs me here.

I think she would've been in a much worse condition if I also left.

I went to see her.

I tried not to tell you.

She thought I was Dad.

-What? -I'm sorry.

-I'm sorry. -What?

I told you, you look alike.

What did she say?

Something about CD's,

that you supposedly bought.

Oh.

Wait here.

Dad asked me to get these when I came to see you in Pretoria.

He also didn't have a CD player, so I had to get him that too.

I don't think he ever listened to it.

But just to have it…

meant so much to him.

He wasn't very impressed that you used Mom's surname.

But I think he understood.

I remember when you came to get them.

I even drew a heart because I thought it was for you.

If I knew it was for…

What?

That it was for Dad?

You probably wouldn't have given it to me.

No…

probably not.

Marie.

Thank you that you were always the one who tried to keep us together.

I thought you'd still be at school?

I bunked one of my c… c… classes.

Were you just playing now?

No.

I…

I'm just thinking.

I um…

I know people don't listen to CDs anymore but…

Miss Naude said you attended her class a few times?

My dad did not want me to do music.

He never even attended one of my shows.

And I always thought it was because he was ashamed of me.

And I used it… to drive me.

To prove him wrong.

C… C… Can you play something for me?

I tell you what, I'll play you something if…

If you sing with me.

No, no.

I understand you're afraid, Venter.

I am also afraid. Always.

My throat becomes dry and…

my heart beats so fast, it feels like it's going to jump out.

But I've learnt that it's perhaps a good thing.

It means I'm at the point of…

doing something important.

Do what makes you happy, Venter.

Not what other people want you to do.

I'm longing for you

For the wind that wraps its arms around me

That's how I'm longing As the sun and the moon and the wind

And the clouds pass me by

Are you longing for me too?

In the distant land where you live now

And are you longing As the sun and the moon and the wind

And the clouds pass you by

I'm longing for you

I long because I really like you

I am longing as the sun And the moon and the wind

And the clouds pass you by

Blow wind

Bring him back to me

-Blow wind -And the clouds pass me by

Bring him back to me

I'm longing for you

For the wind that wraps its arms around…

Are you okay?

Venter, I know how difficult it is to love somebody who hurts you.

It feels as if you shouldn't love them.

And sometimes we mustn't.

Come in… Hey, come in.

-Hi. Do you have a moment? -Yes.

I'm just marking.

And I'm done!

Don't worry, it's just a short exercise.

It doesn't count towards their final mark.

I…

I came to apologise for the other day.

-Louw, it's… -I know you're trying to be friendly.

So I'm…

I'm sorry.

I know I can sometimes come across a bit too strong.

I think that's why you broke up with me in the first place.

N… No. It…

It wasn't that, I…

I don't know. At that stage…

I thought I wasn't good enough.

I needed to find my own feet, you know.

And it…

didn't feel fair to drag somebody with me into the unknown.

-And look where I ended up! -Hmm.

I see you're still fascinated by France.

And Asia.

Did you ever go?

No, no. Those are just gifts.

I'm lucky if I get the chance to leave the province.

-I was there a few years ago. -Paris?

-To perform? -No. No. I…

Karien and I went.

France, Germany, Holland.

Wow.

I think you'd love it.

Was it easy for you to leave here at the time?

No, it's never easy to leave everything behind.

Family, friends and you know how my father was.

I don't know, I…

My dreams weren't here.

I had this…

unbelievable desire to…

I don't know?

I think I would have gone crazy if I had to stay here a moment longer.

Yes.

A few years ago I bought a backpack.

Way too big for me.

A place for everything, secret pockets. You know, the whole nine yards.

I had to make sure that there was enough space in case I needed it.

And then I put it next to my front door

so it would always remind me that

one day I would see the world.

The children kept asking me: "Ma'am, when are you going on your trip?"

And I always had an excuse.

I had to organise a school function or

there was a sick family member.

I eventually became so tired of it, I hid it in the back of my cupboard.

Well, if your offer still stands…

I'd like to help in the class.

But let's first give it a try and see how it goes.

Of course.

The children are crazy about you.

They keep asking me when you're coming back.

I want, I want to see if Venter doesn't maybe…

We can go and see if you want to.

Oh, wow!

And that unbelievable music.

Have they done productions of them?

Haven't gone that big yet.

-Hi, Venter. -Did you play well?

Yes.

I take it he wasn't very happy with some of the decisions.

No.

So, Louw's coming to help us with the music class--

Come, Venter, we're leaving.

Yes, Dad.

-See you on the farm. -Bye.

Hi, I'm Louw.

That's right. The singer?

My wife says you were quite famous, in your day.

Louw's going to help out in the music class.

Maybe Venter can join us?

How do you know my son?

Oh, from the farm.

We chatted a bit while you were talking to my brother-in-law.

Yes, well maybe you can talk some sense into him to accept my offer.

Venter, we're leaving.

Yes Dad.

Not the most pleasant man, is he?

No.

I'm late!

Morning.

Hey.

What a handsome brother I have.

I thought I'd try to make a good first impression in front of the children.

Well, um, second impression.

We can drive together if you'd like.

I'm working at the shop today

and I'm sure Sandra won't mind dropping you off.

No, it's fine, thank you.

Oh, damn, I must go.

Not that Henk minds if I'm late but still.

-See you tonight. -Yes.

-Bye. -Bye.

Bye, Matewis.

Matewis.

Welcome to voicemail.

You have one new message.

Hi Marie.

I'm just making sure you're still coming in today.

I'm waiting with bated breath.

I'll see you shortly.

To repeat this message, press one.

Blow wind

Nice.

Bring him back to me

Blow wind

Bring him back to me

That was…

beautiful.

I couldn't have done it better myself.

Fantastic.

You see, coming from a real musician.

Okay. Let's show him what we've practised for the festival.

-Be good. See you. -Bye.

There you go. Bye.

Bye.

You've always had such beautiful hands.

So, um…

What are you still planning for the festival?

Oh, still a few songs.

We must open with the National Anthem.

After that, I thought we could do "Sun Catcher".

And then we must decide which other songs we are going to do.

I was wondering if Venter doesn't want to sing something.

If it's okay with you?

Yes, of course.

Yes, I think he, he needs it.

You know, if my dad…

Excuse me.

Venter, can I have a quick word with you?

Hey, P…P…P…Piggy!

Venter, at the festival,

I thought it would be a great opportunity for you to show your talent.

Miss Naude said you can take part.

My d… dad said I'm not supposed to speak to you.

Venter, your voice, it's…

It's really something special.

I, I…

I must g… go.

Leave me alone.

You have a talent, Venter.

And it would be a shame if you allow your dad to…

And what about you? Huh?

You say I mustn't waste my talent.

But what about yours?

My dad says you only came back

because you made an ass of yourself in Pretoria.

-I'm sorry. -Your dad is right.

I did make an idiot of myself.

But it's no excuse for what he's doing.

You deserve better, Venter.

You must believe it.

I…

I must go.

Venter.

Sorry, where did you say Matewis is?

A meeting with our accountant.

He didn't tell me why.

So, how's it going at the school?

I'm sure the children love it.

And Sandra probably hasn't felt this good in a while.

It went well.

Stressful, but good.

I…

spoke to Venter, but he…

Well his, his dad is…

Remember the time when you entered the school's talent festival?

You knew you'd win but you only wanted to see how upset Dad would be.

Yes.

It's not easy for everybody to leave the known behind.

Especially not the people around here.

But you're different.

You'll never be someone who fits in a box.

And

as much as I enjoy having you here.

It breaks my heart to see you like this.

I saw your lyrics.

Not on purpose. It fell.

You wrote her a song.

I was busy writing it but I…

I couldn't finish it.

I…

I never knew why.

But…

today when…

when I saw the children sing.

The innocent joy on their faces.

There was no guard.

They didn't pretend to be something else.

Then I realised…

what a liar I am.

I loved Karien.

She made me feel it was…

worthwhile leaving everything behind, my friends and my family.

But there was always something.

Something that stopped me from telling her.

As if it would make me weak…

or give her too much power over me.

And I slowly began pushing her away.

I focused all my

energy on my music and…

to prove Dad wrong.

I never told her how much I loved her.

She never got the opportunity to give this to me.

She got so tired of waiting for me that…

that she wanted to do it herself.

Louw…

You must stop blaming yourself.

She knew that you loved her.

Not the way I wanted her to know.

And do you know how it feels to…

always think that people must lower their expectations to be with you.

Every day of my life.

Matewis always wanted a big family.

Me too.

But when we found out that I couldn't have children…

I could see how disappointed he was.

He said he feels sorry for me but…

I know he wishes I was somebody else.

I think he even blames me for the farm's barren land.

The drought.

As if I contaminated the entire farm.

I am so sorry, Marie.

I can see it on his face.

How he thinks…

about what his life could have been.

It's easy to think about…

what could have happened if you made other choices in your life.

I see what you're like when you're with Henk.

No, no it's beautiful. You…

You even look different.

Like the sister I knew.

Happy.

Do you think um…

Do you think Matewis suspects anything?

I don't think so.

Henk said…

It's probably nothing.

But I forgot my phone here today and Henk left a message

and I didn't get it.

-But you don't think he, he would… -No.

No, in any case, Henk only asked where I was and,

and there's nothing to tell, it's…

We didn't do anything. It's just innocent.

It's just nice to feel like…

somebody is treating me like something new.

I think Matewis thinks I am a broken piece of equipment.

Probably means I belong with the rest of the broken things on this farm.

Can we have a word, please?

I better go and check if he is okay.

It's okay.

I haven't h… heard this s… song before.

I'm still trying to finish it.

It's still very rough.

I didn't think I'd see you again.

I… wanted to c… come and a… apologise, Sir.

You've got nothing to apologise for.

You sounded like the voice in my head.

And it's good that you spoke for yourself.

I… I don't care.

I was wrong.

I wish I was a better man

One that you deserved

Now I'm standing in shame

This is my burden

Do you want to sing it with me?

I… can't.

I wish I was a better man

One that you deserved

So I'm standing in shame

This is my burden

I wish I was a better man

One that you deserved

I keep stumbling again and again

With prayers at night

I wish I was a better man

One that you deserved

So I'm standing in shame

This is my burden

I wish I was a better man

Like you deserved

I'm stumbling again and again.

There you go. Here.

-If you want to practise. -Thank you.

Don't worry, I'll explain.

It's okay.

-Venter, get in the car. -Wim, relax, please.

This is what you enjoy. To be alone with young boys.

Dad!

You're such a wuss. No wonder you admire him.

Wim please, we were just writing music.

Is this what you want?

To come from a family that everybody laughs at.

-On a farm where nothing grows? -Yes.

My family is not perfect.

And we don't pretend to be.

That's all I've seen since I've been here.

People who run away from the truth.

You should've heard how your father spoke about you.

How ashamed he was of you.

And me of him.

I didn't even want his name.

Well fortunately for him he had two children like you.

Because between you and your infertile sister

there'll be nothing left of his name.

No!

-Louw! -Don't touch him!

Venter!

No. No!

Venter, get in the car!

I'm sorry I wasn't here when…

I… don't think you wanted me here in any way.

It probably worked out best for both of us.

You've always been with me.

In the back of my mind.

Busy telling me that I'm not going to make it.

The… anger that it provoked in me.

I used it…

to drive myself.

So that I could come back one day and show you what I have achieved.

And now…

Now I am exactly what you said I'd be.

A failure.

Not worthy of the Malan name.

My mother's son.

Not yours.

Marie is struggling, Dad.

She hides it well but I can see it.

I always thought she was the strong one.

Like you.

She was the only one who could stand up to you.

She showed me the CDs she got for you.

Hell, Dad, why couldn't you just once say something positive?

Just once.

Mom did it so many, so many times that it started feeling normal.

But if something like that could've come from you.

Do you know what it would've meant to me?

I wish you could have met Karien.

Maybe then…

you would've understood what I was doing.

That I made the right choice back then.

She always said what she was thinking.

Not like us.

Maybe then I would've

been able to tell you everything while you could still hear me.

Before you became just another voice in the wind.

But I think it's time I realise that…

me being here is not good for anybody.

It only serves as a…

memory that you cannot run away from yourself,

no matter how hard you try.

But um…

There's this boy.

He reminds me a lot of myself.

I want to tell him to run.

To run and never turn back.

What example am I for him?

And his dad is…

Let's just say, it makes me think you were never that bad.

Things could've been worse.

Marie.

Hey.

It's Matewis.

Hey.

It's okay.

What happened?

You're bleeding…

Let it go. It doesn't matter. What happened?

It's all my fault.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

I'm going to tell Matewis about Henk.

I'm sure he already knows but…

I just feel everything must just come out.

I don't want any more secrets.

It was just nice to…

to feel loved again.

That's something one should never turn away.

I'm going to try and get some sleep.

I can't believe he hit you.

-And now, this thing with Matewis. -Yes.

Marie is going to visit him again tomorrow.

See if he can come home.

Is there anything else I can get you?

Tell me about your trip.

Where did you want to go to?

Well, a few years ago I saw a photo of a temple.

The Tiger's Nest in Bhutan.

It's built on the edge of a mountain.

Almost as if it was there first and

the mountain appeared around it later.

Come sit here.

Anyway, um…

so…

I remember just staring at the photo and

I wondered how it must feel to stand in such a holy place

and peek over the edge.

You know, just to feel the foundation that you are standing on

which has been there for centuries and

it could slip away at any time.

I suspected something.

When I heard his voice message…

it clarified everything.

I wanted to confront him.

I even thought of…

But then I remembered your face.

Joyful. Happy.

Something you're not when you're with me.

I've never really felt that I make you happy.

And I think your dad also didn't think I could.

That's how I always feel around you.

As if you blame me because I can't…

You're everything in my life.

And just the idea of losing you.

Can I come in?

-Hi. -Hi.

How did you handle it…

when you lost Karien?

First, I decided that my life had ended right there.

That I also died.

I didn't go to Heaven or, or Hell, I was just there.

As if something from outside was controlling my body.

And…

it took me a long time…

to…

remember what it felt like to be happy.

And…

when I sit amongst all the rubble on the farm…

and I look at all the broken and

rusted things that people have thrown away.

Then I realised that everything, once upon a time, was loved.

Or at least useful.

And I could see myself there.

And it made me think…

why I'm still here.

If I can't make people laugh or…

cry or

even feel?

Matewis…

there is only the present.

There's only the pain and…

the joy and the sorrow of the past that must be left behind.

What we do now means something.

This is how we change our world.

I want to make your sister happy.

I know I'm the reason you are so unhappy.

I think it's time to sell the farm.

It's not making any of us happy.

It's the best thing to do.

Long afloat on shipless oceans

Gave everything just to smile

Until your seeing eyes and fingers

Drew me to your island

Stop. Stop. Stop.

And you sang

It's perfect.

Sail to me

Sail to me, let my arms enfold you

Here I am

Here I am

I'm waiting to hold you

I'm so confused like the newly born child

So plagued like the tide

Must I stand in the middle of the waves

Or will I go and lie next to the dead My bride

I'm waiting to hold you

Sail to me

Sail to me

I'm waiting to hold you

Look, I think we'll take Witteberg this year.

-Absolutely. -For sure.

Good afternoon gents.

-Good afternoon. -How are you doing?

-Good. -Ah, that's good.

We have a good team this year.

Yes, yes, yes.

Pity that Venter couldn't play.

Yes.

Freak accident, you say?

Yes. The child has a habit of hurting himself.

Mr. Cloete.

Venter is a good boy.

He just needs the right kind of encouragement.

You'll see. He's stronger than he looks.

Well…

I'll see you guys at the concert, right?

-Yeah. -Yes, yes.

Listen can you tell me why he is our coach.

Because he looks much more eager

to hear songs being sung than to win the game.

-How you feeling? -Okay.

I'm nervous.

It's going to be wonderful.

Have you seen Venter?

No.

Not since the whole…

Yeah.

I'm sure he is okay.

Just children of the wind

The next song is one that I wrote

as a tribute to somebody very special.

And I wish I could have said it before it was too late.

So I hope it helps somebody here to not make the same mistake.

The fucking man can't sing.

His being is crushed.

Watch him. He thinks he's big.

Listen.

Let's show them who's the better man.

This is my confession

My soul laid bare

A call to those who left me

Before I could say my say

I wish I was a better man

One that you deserved

So I'm standing in shame

This is my burden

I wish I was a better man

Which you deserved

I stumble again and again

With prayers in the wind

But my road is not finished yet

My time is not yet over

And before I go to the depths

There are still thoughts in my head

That I would meet you again

And my life has purpose

I promise you, my love

All of it that I still have

I wish I was a better man

One that you deserved

So I'm standing in shame

This is my burden

I wish I was a better man

Like you deserved

I stumble again and again

Prayers in the wind

-That was wonderful. -Thank you.

-That song was wonderful. -Thank you.

-Matewis. -Congrats your show was unbelievable.

I didn't think that you could sing like that.

So.

It looks like you two were the heroes tonight.

W… w…w…w…

Wh… w…

When I stood on that stage and saw you standing there alone,

angry at the whole world, while everybody was so happy.

For the first time I realised that I am better than you, Dad.

And I am also better off than you, Dad.

I just feel sorry for you, Dad.

That you lost so much in life.

Yes, drive safely.

Go well.

And, what did they say?

Well, they are not going to bully me anymore.

Hopefully.

That's good.

So….

-I see you have a new guitar. -Yes…

Not as nice as the other one.

-I'm on my way. See you tomorrow. -Bye.

Have a good evening.

-What did he have to say? -Oh, nothing.

Thank you.

For what?

That you…

helped me find what I thought…

was lost forever.

Of course.

Come.