Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,680 --> 00:00:08,119
Boys, are you ready to read
the customer complaints box?
2
00:00:08,120 --> 00:00:09,639
OTHERS: Yeah!
Ha-ha!
3
00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:12,439
I can't wait for some healthy,
constructive criticism.
4
00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:14,119
(MUMBLES)
5
00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:16,040
(CHUCKLES)
6
00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:23,719
OK! Cool. Next.
7
00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:24,959
Where'd your hat go?
What?
8
00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:26,400
I never had a hat.
OK.
9
00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:33,399
What?
Do I have to address that?
10
00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:34,400
Um...
11
00:00:34,401 --> 00:00:37,319
I think it's a decade-old sketch
character, but I'm not sure.
12
00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:38,480
Next one!
13
00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:43,960
That's King Henry VIII.
Yeah.
14
00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:49,640
Ha. Boomer!
Yeah.
15
00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:55,439
We do do chai lattes.
16
00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:56,999
Really?
Yeah!
17
00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:58,360
Oh, sick.
18
00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:03,239
I'll have one of your chai lattes,
please.
19
00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:04,799
Yeah, of course.
20
00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:05,800
There you go.
21
00:01:05,801 --> 00:01:09,239
Thanks for letting me know
you do chai lattes.
22
00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:11,839
I didn't... I didn't, though.
I don't understand.
23
00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:14,799
Oh, you will.
24
00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:16,239
Well, I wouldn't say I understand.
25
00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:18,040
If anything,
I'm a little more confused.
26
00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:28,600
You would love it.
Shaun Micallef is a...
27
00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:32,719
Wow. Off he goes.
28
00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:34,360
Here we go.
(LAUGHS)
29
00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:40,960
Uh-oh, I think someone
put their shopping list in the box.
30
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:50,000
Agh!
31
00:01:50,001 --> 00:01:51,839
What did that last bit say, Mark?
32
00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:54,839
Something about
sticking things up my dick.
33
00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:55,959
OK.
34
00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:57,359
Guys, me next.
35
00:01:57,360 --> 00:01:59,280
But you're doing them all!
36
00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:07,679
When I'm eating, so, I was like, oh!
37
00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:09,359
PATRON: What kind of sandwich
have you got there?
38
00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:10,839
Oh, salad sandwich.
39
00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:12,639
Are you pooing at the minute?
40
00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:14,719
Did you know the Uruk-hai of Bahadur
41
00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:16,999
consider pooing
to be a communal activity?
42
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:18,000
(FARTS)
(PLOP!)
43
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:19,000
No.
44
00:02:19,001 --> 00:02:20,079
Ooh, OK, we get door.
45
00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:21,559
Agreed.
Yeah, that's...
46
00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:22,560
Titles!
47
00:02:22,561 --> 00:02:25,560
(THEME MUSIC PLAYS)
48
00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:41,599
So, what's the problem?
49
00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:43,119
There's no door.
50
00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:45,079
Well, better fix
the dunny door then.
51
00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:46,399
No, there IS no door.
52
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,959
Well, I can't fix something
that's not here, boys.
53
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,119
Besides, I've got plans.
54
00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:52,120
What?
55
00:02:52,121 --> 00:02:53,959
I'm watching that show on YouTube,
56
00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:56,279
you know that cake-that-looks-
like-something-else show?
57
00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:58,999
You know, "Tricked you!
Just a cake, dumb fuck,"
58
00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:00,079
or whatever it's called.
59
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,519
No, Sally-Anne, we need a door.
60
00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:05,079
Oh, alright then.
61
00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:09,279
I'll just do a bit of conjuring
and conjure one up, shall I?
62
00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:11,359
I am not James fucking Wan!
63
00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:12,959
It's fine. I'll just call a tradie.
64
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,439
You will not.
65
00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:17,599
Those dodgy bastards will charge me
through the arsehole.
66
00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:19,519
Just give me a day.
67
00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:24,159
There is nothing I can't learn
off a YouTube tutorial.
68
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:25,919
Watched one on manicures last night.
69
00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:27,400
What do you think of that?
70
00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:29,400
Oh.
71
00:03:29,401 --> 00:03:30,760
Oh, which reminds me.
72
00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:34,199
What was the Queen...
73
00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:37,919
What are you doing?
..suddenly becomes...
74
00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:39,639
..a whale
75
00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:41,920
sucking on a big, fat one.
76
00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:44,919
Saw that on YouTube too.
77
00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:46,479
Can you please just get us a door?
78
00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:50,079
One of these days I'm gonna teach
you a lesson on how to have some fun
79
00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:51,080
like I do.
80
00:03:51,081 --> 00:03:52,239
Yeah? (SCATS)
81
00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:55,239
Na-na-na. Yeah, yeah.
82
00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:57,159
(SCATS)
83
00:03:57,160 --> 00:03:59,639
Do the snake. Do the snake.
Do the snake.
84
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:01,600
March. March. March. March.
85
00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:05,039
Da-da, da, da.
86
00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:06,719
Da-da, da, da-da.
87
00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:07,720
Da!
88
00:04:07,721 --> 00:04:10,359
Yeah-yeah! Yeah-yeah! Yeah-yeah!
89
00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:11,799
Da-da, da-da, da-da, da...
90
00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:14,639
Did... Is she...
fixing the door or...
91
00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:16,399
I don't know. I don't know.
92
00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:18,079
Happy! Happy! Happy! Happy!
93
00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:20,320
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS)
94
00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:25,520
What the bloody hell's
going on here?
95
00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:31,959
Think about it - why would a whale
be sucking a fat one on the $5 note
96
00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:33,519
unless they wanted
to tell me something?
97
00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:35,359
It's a conspiracy, I tell ya!
98
00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:37,319
(CHORTLES)
99
00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:40,119
Oh, it's just a coincidence,
numbnuts.
100
00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:42,879
Why do your nuts
always got to be so numb?
101
00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:45,479
This is like when you thought
one old man from Adelaide
102
00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:47,239
owned all of the world's media
103
00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:48,999
and used influence
and misinformation
104
00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:50,759
to control elections.
105
00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:52,399
(LAUGHS)
I was wrong about that one.
106
00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,279
But I still don't trust Jimmy Barnes.
107
00:04:54,280 --> 00:04:55,519
Chisel should be warm.
108
00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:57,279
(OTHERS LAUGH)
109
00:04:57,280 --> 00:04:59,599
(GUFFAWS)
Ah!
110
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,759
Ohh!
So stupid!
111
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:03,319
(BOTH SCREAM)
112
00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:04,999
(LAUGHS)
Ah!
113
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,399
I'm warning you. I'll go into rap.
114
00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:10,359
What are you gonna do?
Sing a song about it? Idiot!
115
00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:12,239
(RAPS) ♪ Stop laughing at me
116
00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:13,719
♪ This isn't funny
117
00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:16,200
♪ I tell you, something's going on
with the bloody money. ♪
118
00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:18,560
No, there isn't.
119
00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:22,559
♪ Well, I'm Broden Kelly
And I'm starting to pout
120
00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:25,079
♪ Come with me, you'll see
I'll figure this out. ♪
121
00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:27,879
We're gonna stay here
and deal with the door.
122
00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:30,760
♪ Now I'm on my way
Last chance to come along. ♪
123
00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:33,079
What? No.
124
00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:35,359
No, we're good, man. We're good.
125
00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:37,880
♪ I'm gonna prove you wrong! ♪
126
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,319
No, you won't.
127
00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:43,040
♪ I would really like the company. ♪
128
00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:45,959
God, the company. (SIGHS HEAVILY)
129
00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:47,319
♪ Please? ♪
130
00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:49,999
We're gonna... stay and fix...
We're gonna stay and fix the door.
131
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,959
♪ Well, fuck you both!
I'll do it myself!
132
00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:54,479
♪ You're a pack of (BLEEP!)
133
00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:56,919
♪ I'll fuckin' figure it out
all by myself!
134
00:05:56,920 --> 00:05:58,559
♪ You're a fuckin' pair of (BLEEP!) ♪
135
00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:02,359
I care about him, but if I were
to never see him again...
136
00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:04,119
To heck with Mark and Zach.
137
00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:07,039
If I was going to get answers,
I'd have to start at the tip
138
00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:08,519
and work my way down.
139
00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:10,399
I'd have to find a whale
and make it sink...
140
00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:11,680
Ooh, fishies.
141
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:14,719
Broden Kelly 360.
142
00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:19,119
Thelma, is it? Direct me to your
finest, horniest, sexiest whales.
143
00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:20,879
What do you know about whales?
144
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,519
And fat ones?
145
00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:25,919
And whales sucking on fat ones,
Thelma?
146
00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:29,119
Sir, we don't have whales.
This is a pet shop for the fishies.
147
00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:32,839
And I'm a busy pet-shop owner,
a boss lady, an entrepreneur,
148
00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:34,799
the queen of the fishy bizz-bizz.
149
00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:37,599
So, are you gonna buy some fishies
or ain't ya?
150
00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:39,039
Hmm...
151
00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:41,599
Beautiful fishy.
I will call him Broden the Fishy.
152
00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:43,159
That'll be five dollaridoos.
153
00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:44,479
$5?
154
00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:47,559
Nah, I need this for my adventures.
155
00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:48,919
Ah, but Broden the Fishy.
156
00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:51,199
Argh. What a predicament.
What do I do?
157
00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:52,319
$5 fishy.
158
00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:53,959
Fishy, what I do? What do I do?
159
00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:55,879
Broden Kelly. Gah!
160
00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:57,279
Do you know where I can get
more of these?
161
00:06:57,280 --> 00:07:00,679
There's an ATM across the road
at the Harold Holt Swim Centre.
162
00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:02,079
Harold Holt? Who's that?
163
00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:04,759
He's the ex-prime minister
of Australia. He's pretty famous.
164
00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:06,440
Oh, wow.
165
00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:10,359
OK, this is gonna be wei...
Are you a video-game character?
166
00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:12,959
There's an ATM across the road
at the Harold Holt Swim Centre.
167
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:14,439
Yeah, you've got the energy of, like,
168
00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:16,839
one of them characters
you run across in an adventure.
169
00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:17,919
That's sick.
170
00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:19,719
These are all the fish options
we have at this time.
171
00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:22,480
What happens if I go away
and come back?
172
00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:27,239
Sir, we don't have whales.
This is a pet shop for fishies.
173
00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:29,119
Alright. I'll see ya later.
I'm a busy pet-shop owner...
174
00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:30,439
That's fun.
..entrepreneur...
175
00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:32,039
That's fun.
..queen of the fishy bizz-bizz...
176
00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:33,400
Help me.
177
00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:36,439
Ah!
178
00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:37,719
The door!
179
00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:39,199
Wow.
(LAUGHS)
180
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:40,839
Thank you so much, Sally-Anne.
181
00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:43,439
Finally patrons of the cafe
can go to the toilet
182
00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:46,079
and not be worried about
people seeing them take a shit.
183
00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:47,679
Speaking of which,
I might actually...
184
00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:50,079
Oh. Oh. Of course.
..take advantage, if you don't mind.
185
00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:51,439
Number ones or number two?
186
00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:53,200
Don't tell me. (LAUGHS)
187
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:57,679
Is this... cake?
188
00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:59,599
Gotcha! (LAUGHS)
189
00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:02,199
Oh, I just wanted you guys
to have a bit of fun,
190
00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:03,999
make it out of cake, you know?
191
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,079
You take things far too serious.
Mm.
192
00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:07,519
You know what?
193
00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:09,359
This gives me an idea.
194
00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:10,360
Mm.
195
00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:14,879
And I'm hoping that idea
196
00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:17,919
is "Let's fix the door" and... and
not "Let's make stuff out of cake."
197
00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:19,079
Nah, it's the cake thing.
198
00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:20,919
Shit. Yeah.
(SNICKERS)
199
00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:24,359
Tree. Umbrella. Ladder. Seat. Pool.
200
00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:27,359
Thus concludes
the Harold Holt Swim Centre tour.
201
00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:29,439
I will now answer
any other questions you may have.
202
00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:30,440
You.
203
00:08:30,441 --> 00:08:32,519
Any advice for aspiring...
204
00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:34,039
..wha... um...
205
00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:35,479
..people who work here?
206
00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:37,919
Yeah. Don't push kids in the pool.
OK.
207
00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:39,519
And again?
You.
208
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:41,599
Your ATM appears to be broken,
209
00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:43,319
and your boss, Harold Holt,
hasn't fixed it.
210
00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:45,919
So, my question to you, Jordan,
211
00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:48,119
is one -
is this part of the conspiracy?
212
00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:50,199
And two - what the fuck
are you trying to hide?
213
00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:51,359
What conspiracy?
214
00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:54,639
The whale sucking on a fat one
on the $5 note, dingus!
215
00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:57,479
OK, so, one - Harold Holt
will not be fixing the ATM
216
00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:59,799
because he went missing in the ocean
60 years ago.
217
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:01,679
(OTHERS LAUGH)
I knew that.
218
00:09:01,680 --> 00:09:02,919
(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)
219
00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:06,199
Yeah. Two - the ATM does work.
I saw you use it.
220
00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:08,279
You just don't have any money
in your account.
221
00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:09,719
(OTHERS LAUGH)
Different card.
222
00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:11,159
(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)
223
00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:12,959
And three -
224
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:16,039
the whale suckin' a fat one
is just a silly coincidence, mate.
225
00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:17,119
Everyone knows that.
226
00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:19,479
(OTHERS LAUGH)
227
00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:22,919
Yeah. And if it's money you're
after, you should go to the mint.
228
00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:24,679
Maybe they can make you some!
229
00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:26,639
(OTHERS LAUGH)
230
00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:28,079
I'll show you!
231
00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:30,399
You'll rue the day, Jordan!
232
00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:31,839
Stop laughing at me!
(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)
233
00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:33,319
R-o-o-o-o-o-o-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-r!
234
00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:34,839
Good luck finding Nemo.
235
00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:36,399
Agh!
(OTHERS LAUGH)
236
00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:37,919
(ZACH LAUGHS)
237
00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:39,599
Oh, oh, shh, shh.
238
00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:43,239
Hey! Could I just get the house
blend ground for espresso, please?
239
00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:45,359
Su-sure. Here it is.
240
00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:47,160
(LAUGHS)
Oh, thank you so much!
241
00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:50,039
Oh! It's cake!
242
00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:51,759
(LAUGHS)
243
00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:52,879
What? I didn't even...
244
00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:54,119
We got you!
You got...
245
00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:55,719
(COUGHS, SNIFFS)
246
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,719
Sorry, can I just grab
a glass of water, please?
247
00:09:57,720 --> 00:09:59,759
Uh... Yeah, of course you can.
248
00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:00,760
Thank you.
249
00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:01,760
(STIFLES LAUGHTER)
250
00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:04,439
Is this cake?
It IS cake!
251
00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:05,639
(LAUGHS)
252
00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:06,759
We got you!
253
00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:07,959
That's so funny.
254
00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:10,560
I'm gonna get a card for next time,
OK? I'll just...
255
00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:12,840
(GASPS)
256
00:10:12,841 --> 00:10:14,999
It's cake again!
Ah!
257
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,359
(ALL LAUGH)
258
00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:18,919
Are there peanuts in this?
Oh, yes, quite a lot of them.
259
00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:19,920
(LAUGHS)
260
00:10:19,921 --> 00:10:21,759
I'm gonna go into anaphylactic shock.
261
00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:22,760
(LAUGHS)
262
00:10:22,761 --> 00:10:24,039
For real?
263
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,479
Yeah. (SNIFFS) Yeah.
264
00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:27,639
Hi. Welcome.
What can I get for you today?
265
00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:29,879
You can have literally anything.
266
00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:31,400
Um... I'll just get a cake, please.
267
00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:33,599
Did you...
268
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,039
Did you just ask for a cake?
269
00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:36,280
Yeah.
270
00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:38,599
Just one.
What, a cake?
271
00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:39,679
A cake, yeah.
272
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:40,680
Uh...
273
00:10:40,681 --> 00:10:42,239
(MICHELLE COUGHS)
274
00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:43,839
I don't know
what an EpiPen looks like!
275
00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:44,999
It's that one just there!
Oh!
276
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:46,319
(GASPS)
Here!
277
00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:47,320
Thank you.
278
00:10:47,321 --> 00:10:48,559
No!
279
00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:50,040
Got you!
280
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:52,959
Careful, there's peanuts
in that too.
281
00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:55,679
You need to call an ambulance.
I just...
282
00:10:55,680 --> 00:10:57,959
N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!
283
00:10:57,960 --> 00:10:59,359
Got you!
284
00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:02,959
Also, we can't use
the defibrillator
285
00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:04,799
because that's cake too.
286
00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:06,199
It's all cake.
287
00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:09,279
Don't... What are you doing,
Michelle? Don't eat the cake!
288
00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:11,239
(QUIETLY) Thank you so much. Shh.
(QUIETLY) OK, a tiny one.
289
00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:12,399
Shh. A tiny one.
Shh.
290
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:15,119
(GASPS)
Oh! Oh, God!
291
00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:16,719
Just ask for something else.
292
00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:18,280
I only want cake, so...
293
00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:20,520
Fuck!
294
00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:22,640
Get out.
295
00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:24,919
Just get the fuck out!
296
00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:26,359
Get the fuck out of here!
297
00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:27,799
Fuck off! Fuck off!
OK. I'm going.
298
00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:29,439
I'm sorry. I don't know what I did.
Fuck! Fuck!
299
00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:30,440
Fuck!
300
00:11:30,441 --> 00:11:33,319
Excuse me. I'm the health inspector.
301
00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:34,439
(WHIMPERS)
302
00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:36,999
Would either of you care to tell me
303
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:40,279
why I found this rat
in your establishment?
304
00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:41,399
BOTH: Oh, uh...
305
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:42,400
Right. Um...
306
00:11:42,401 --> 00:11:45,559
So... So, we're doing
this 'is this cake?' thing.
307
00:11:45,560 --> 00:11:47,399
And I suppose,
with all the extra cake,
308
00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:49,759
maybe some of it
fell to the ground.
309
00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:51,799
Is that where
you trick people into thinking
310
00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:54,239
that cake is everyday objects?
311
00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:55,240
BOTH: Yeah.
312
00:11:55,241 --> 00:11:56,639
And you've been doing this all day?
313
00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:57,799
BOTH: Yeah.
314
00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,119
So, you're probably
quite good at it!
315
00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:00,959
BOTH: Eh...
316
00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:05,040
Hey! Maybe...
I'm being tricked right now.
317
00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:09,239
Maybe this wee boy
318
00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:11,719
ain't a rat at all.
319
00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:13,200
Maybe he's a cake!
320
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:15,879
Huh?! (LAUGHS)
321
00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:17,519
Well...
322
00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:21,199
..there's only one way
to find out, isn't there, boys? Eh?
323
00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:24,199
(LAUGHS) Here we go!
324
00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:25,759
Ah! Tail first.
325
00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:27,719
In the Italian way.
326
00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:29,920
A-a-a-a-a-a-h...
327
00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:32,319
Hi. My name's Broden Kelly.
328
00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:34,239
I'm looking for a $5 note
to prove to my asshole friends
329
00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:36,999
that there's a deep-state conspiracy
involving whales, blowjobs
330
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,399
and now Harold Holt, apparently.
331
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:40,799
Can you make me a new $5 note, mint?
332
00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:44,079
Oh, oh, I see what's happened here.
Yeah.
333
00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:46,799
We're a... We're a lolly shop,
we sell breath mints,
334
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:49,279
but we're not THE mint
where they make the money.
335
00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:50,280
Oh.
336
00:12:50,281 --> 00:12:52,239
You'd be surprised how often
this little mistake happens.
337
00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:55,239
Really?
Yeah. Honestly, it really upsets me.
338
00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:59,239
It actually has, like... It's... it's
fucked up my home life real bad...
339
00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:00,439
OK.
..you know, like...
340
00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:03,759
I'm like...
I am on a fucking knife's edge.
341
00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:05,079
OK.
I've got to work on that.
342
00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:06,359
Not... It's not you.
343
00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:07,639
Sorry. sorry.
It's not you.
344
00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:09,839
I'll buy that Dory fish off you
for $5.
345
00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:10,919
Hmm...
346
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:13,719
Well, Broden the Fishy,
it's one last kissy. Mwah.
347
00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:15,279
And now it's goodbye.
348
00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:17,039
Thank you.
Thank you.
349
00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:18,999
Hey, pop quiz.
Yeah?
350
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,599
You know when they first printed
the $5 note?
351
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,920
No.
1967.
352
00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:26,759
Oh. How did you know that?
353
00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:28,199
Because I used to work at the mint.
354
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:29,359
Really?
Yeah.
355
00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:31,479
But I quit that job
and I opened up a lolly shop
356
00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:35,119
because people kept coming in
to the mint asking for breath mints.
357
00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:37,159
And now they're coming in
asking me about money!
358
00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:39,519
So, you...
And it fucks me up! It fucks me up!
359
00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:42,719
No matter what I do,
no matter where I turn,
360
00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:44,319
it's fucking up.
361
00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:46,319
It's fucked it up!
OK. Have a good one.
362
00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:47,719
Hey, do you want to see me
do stairs a bit?
363
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:49,560
Oh, please!
364
00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:56,680
Did it look
like I was walking down stairs?
365
00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:00,120
Because I wasn't.
366
00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:02,840
Ohh.
367
00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:05,760
So, what's the deal, then?
368
00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:10,040
No more cakes.
Yeah. No more cake.
369
00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:16,079
You still thinking about seeing that
man eat a whole rat in front of us?
370
00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:21,199
I don't... I don't understand
why he ate the whole thing.
371
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:23,240
It's the sound.
372
00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:26,679
The sound of the rat screaming.
373
00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:29,679
But, hey, we've had our fun
with the cakes.
374
00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:31,799
Maybe we should get to the problem
of the toilet door.
375
00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:34,159
We can't afford that.
Where will we get the money?
376
00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:35,879
Well...
377
00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:38,439
..I was thinking
if we preheat the oven...
378
00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:41,839
Did we not just say no more cake?!
379
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,279
One more cake, Zachary.
380
00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:45,760
You've got to trust me.
381
00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:51,119
Ohh...
382
00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:53,839
BOTH: Ah!
383
00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:55,439
Alright, we're on.
She's coming. There she is.
384
00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:56,559
Hi.
Hi.
385
00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:57,999
Hi. I'm Renesme.
386
00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:59,839
You're the guys
selling the Toyota sedan, right?
387
00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:01,999
Yes, we are.
Hi. Nice to meet you. Hi.
388
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,479
And here it is.
Yeah.
389
00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:04,480
Oh.
390
00:15:04,481 --> 00:15:06,519
So, it's just been roadworthy'd.
391
00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:07,999
It's a '99 model,
392
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,799
so, it's got about 120 Ks on it.
393
00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:11,399
That sounds like a lot, but...
Yeah.
394
00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:13,999
..but that's actually quite low
considering how old it is.
395
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,399
OK. The rego?
396
00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:17,079
Uh... Three months, I think.
397
00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:18,559
Still three months on it. Yeah.
398
00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:20,079
It's in great nick.
Hop in if you want, please.
399
00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:21,720
Oh, yeah?
Jump in, see how it feels.
400
00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:24,199
Oh!
401
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:25,279
Previous services -
402
00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:27,079
you've got a logbook
that's got that all registered.
403
00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:28,999
Yeah. Just check in the...
If you look in the glove box...
404
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:30,199
Yep.
..just there.
405
00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:31,919
Oh, here it is.
Last service was about...
406
00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:33,159
Yeah, about four months ago.
407
00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:34,959
Now, this has only
ever been serviced...
408
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:37,319
..at a Toyota great centre.
Yeah. Great.
409
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:39,479
I'm gonna take it! I'll take it.
(GASPS)
410
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,359
Great. Great.
Is cash OK?
411
00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:42,599
Amazing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
412
00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:44,079
Cash is incredible. Yeah, cash.
413
00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:46,040
Thank you.
Thank YOU.
414
00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:48,399
Gotcha!
415
00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:49,400
(BOTH SCREAM)
416
00:15:49,401 --> 00:15:52,799
And that, my boys, is why
you never make anything out of cake.
417
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:54,919
But, Sally-Anne,
you were the one that told us
418
00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:56,559
it would be fun
to make things out of cake.
419
00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:59,399
I also said
I was gonna teach you two a lesson.
420
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:02,319
But the lesson
was supposed to be about having fun.
421
00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:04,879
Yeah, you're right. I did say that.
422
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:06,479
Well, I'm gonna head off.
423
00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:07,959
Thanks so much for the car.
424
00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:09,640
(TYRES SKID, ENGINE ZOOMS)
425
00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:13,399
She's zooming! Ha-ha!
426
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:15,639
I've got to get me
one of those fancy cars.
427
00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:16,640
Ha.
428
00:16:16,641 --> 00:16:20,559
It reminds me of the time I had
these three dumb tenants, right?
429
00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:22,879
And they needed
their dunny door fixed,
430
00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:25,279
so, I made it out of cake. (LAUGHS)
431
00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:27,399
They were none the fuckin' wiser.
432
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:29,039
(LAUGHS) True.
433
00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:30,480
Sally-Anne, that was us.
434
00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:34,279
That happened earlier today,
Sally-Anne, remember?
435
00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:36,200
Sal... Sal?
436
00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:41,120
Sally-Anne,
you're not saying anything.
437
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:44,799
OK.
OK.
438
00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:47,999
As I continued to walk down
the cobblestoned streets
439
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:51,639
thinking of stupid Mark
and stupid Broden and stupid Zach,
440
00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:52,799
I thought to myself
441
00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:54,959
if such a conspicuous clue
was on the $5 note
442
00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:57,879
perhaps other secrets
were hidden on the other notes.
443
00:16:57,880 --> 00:17:01,199
So, I headed to the one man
that knows more about cash
444
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:03,440
than anyone else.
445
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:05,679
(GASPS)
446
00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:08,919
Gino, my drug dealer
who sells me steroids!
447
00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:12,639
Broden, my favourite customer
who buys and uses steroids.
448
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:14,679
Yes, I do. I love steroids.
449
00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:16,999
Me too. They make me feel amazing!
450
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,679
Look at ya!
Agh!
451
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:19,919
I love steroids.
452
00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:22,199
Would you like to buy some now?
Hmm, not today, Gino.
453
00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:23,879
You know, I'm full of them
from breakfast.
454
00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:25,359
I can tell
by the way you walked in here.
455
00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:27,239
I'm like, "That's a man on steroids
right there."
456
00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:28,959
Listen, I'm not here
for steroids today.
457
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:30,479
Yes, steroids!
458
00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:32,599
Would you like to buy
some steroids now?
459
00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:35,440
Not today, Gino, I need your help.
What do you know about cash?
460
00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:40,120
What are you doing?
461
00:17:40,121 --> 00:17:42,439
Here, let me tell you
in another scene.
462
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:44,919
On the 100, it's Dame Nellie Melba,
463
00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:46,519
one of Australia's
greatest opera singers.
464
00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:47,520
Oh!
465
00:17:47,521 --> 00:17:49,359
On the 10 it's Banjo Paterson,
466
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:52,959
a poet who told Australian stories
through ballad and song.
467
00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:54,439
Fascinating, my drug dealer, Gino.
468
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:55,679
David Unaipon,
469
00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:59,359
an incredible First Nations public
speaker, writer and inventor
470
00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:00,439
adorns the 50.
471
00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:02,279
This is cool.
And who's that on the 20?
472
00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:04,039
Why, it's Mary Reibey, of course.
473
00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:05,079
Wow.
474
00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:06,239
A pioneer businesswoman
475
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:08,239
who specialised
in shipping and property.
476
00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:10,999
So many questions.
But how do I reach these people?
477
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,759
Mate, for that
you have to go to the cemetery.
478
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:14,560
Oh, they all...
They all work at cemetery?
479
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:17,520
Broden...
480
00:18:17,521 --> 00:18:18,639
Sweet Broden,
481
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:21,479
your muscles might be big,
but those steroids...
482
00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:22,959
..they have fucked your brain, mate.
483
00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:24,759
They fucked it right there.
484
00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:26,319
There's no coming back from that,
mate.
485
00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:28,159
But I'll keep on takin' 'em!
486
00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:29,719
And I'll keep on sellin' 'em!
487
00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:30,919
Yeah!
(LAUGHS)
488
00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:32,919
(BOTH GROAN)
489
00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:34,239
Dead.
490
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:35,599
Dead.
491
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:36,600
Dead.
492
00:18:36,601 --> 00:18:38,439
I can't ask any of these
historical figures questions
493
00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:40,039
because they're dead.
494
00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:41,719
Maybe this WAS a coincidence.
495
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:44,679
Maybe there's no whales
sucking fat ones.
496
00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:46,559
Maybe I'm just...
(MAN FARTS)
497
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,560
Hey, what the hell?! Get back here!
498
00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:51,280
Guy farted on my dick.
499
00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:53,520
What the...
500
00:18:57,320 --> 00:18:58,960
The grave of Harold Holt?
501
00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:01,959
That's it.
502
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:03,599
I have the answers!
503
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:04,680
Hey!
504
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:09,879
If it's OK with you, we'd like
to bury my husband in peace!
505
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:12,320
Oopsie-poopsie!
506
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:14,399
Oopsie-poopsie!
507
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:15,799
Oopsie-poopsie.
508
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:16,839
Poopsie-poodle!
509
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:18,399
Poopety-poopsie-poopsie!
510
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:19,480
Doodle flip.
511
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:22,319
Sorry for your loss.
That's alright.
512
00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:24,759
Oopsie-poopsie!
513
00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:27,680
Now to prove those bum-heads wrong.
514
00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:34,560
Very excited for Broden's show.
515
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:38,439
So, in 1967, Harold Holt
went missing in the ocean.
516
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:40,559
But what actually happened, he was
out there getting his fat one
517
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:42,519
sucked on by whales,
which was his kink - no kink shame! -
518
00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:43,759
and he learned
from one of the whales,
519
00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:46,359
'cause he could speak to whales like
Dory in Finding Nemo, who is a fishy,
520
00:19:46,360 --> 00:19:49,439
that Mary Reibey had invented
immortality technology using polymer,
521
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:50,759
which is what money is printed on.
522
00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:51,999
Harold Holt tried to spill the beans
523
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:54,199
'cause he wanted to put it on
Medicare 'cause he's prime minister,
524
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:55,920
they had him killed,
you stupid fuck-heads.
525
00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:00,999
And who is they?
526
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,639
So, 'they' are the immortal figures
who are on the money
527
00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:05,719
who used Mary Reibey's immortality
technology to stay alive,
528
00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:07,199
and they tried
to blackmail Harold Holt
529
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:09,599
by putting his dick kink
on the $5 note in 1967.
530
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:11,359
But they couldn't blackmail him,
could they?
531
00:20:11,360 --> 00:20:13,399
The same year,
Harold Holt went missing in the ocean
532
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:14,559
because they murdered him.
533
00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:16,319
But that's not really
what happened at all,
534
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:18,120
you stupid fuckwits
who laughed at me.
535
00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:24,479
And what DID happen?
536
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:27,759
So, in 1967,
Harold Holt goes for a swim,
537
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:28,959
uh-oh, out of nowhere,
538
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:30,759
Banjo Paterson's atomic submarine
shoots a torpedo,
539
00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:34,679
it misses, Holt grabs onto it, takes
it all the way to New York City,
540
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:36,479
where he was accidentally covered
in a super ooze
541
00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:38,359
alongside a rat and four turtles.
542
00:20:38,360 --> 00:20:39,679
Him and his mutant friends
543
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:41,639
defended the streets of New York
with Ninjutsu.
544
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:44,000
Is that clear,
you negative cuckwits?!
545
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,519
Mm.
Mm.
546
00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:50,239
(PANTS)
547
00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:51,799
And you...
548
00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:54,159
You found all this today
by going to a lolly shop?
549
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:56,639
(PANTS)
550
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:58,479
I'm right!
551
00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:00,160
I'm right!
552
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:02,319
Oh, no!
553
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:05,039
Boys, I'm wasting my life!
554
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:06,999
It's stupid and I'm dumb!
555
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,079
Broden, that's not
what we're saying.
556
00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:10,439
Yes, it is.
Oh, yes, it is.
557
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:11,919
That IS what we're saying.
558
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:15,080
I'm sorry, boys.
I guess I just wasted everybody's...
559
00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:18,080
What the...
560
00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:20,360
(GASPS)
561
00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:23,239
Broden Kelly!
562
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:24,240
(GASPS)
563
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:33,879
(RECITES) Well, well, boys,
you figured it out.
564
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:35,239
What Broden said is true.
565
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:37,399
And there is no doubt
you are on the money.
566
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:38,639
But so are we.
567
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:40,639
And now, like Holt, you'll pay
for your curiosity.
568
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:42,479
(RECITES)
How in the Christmas was I right?
569
00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:45,039
(RECITES) I thought you'd be happy.
Nah, this is fucked.
570
00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:46,879
(RECITES) For uncovering
our secret of immortality
571
00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:48,959
there are many nasty things
I shall do to thee.
572
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:51,119
We'll come into your house,
unplug your wi-fi.
573
00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:53,079
Open up your cereal so it goes dry.
574
00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:55,279
(RECITES) We'll unlock your car
and piss in your boot.
575
00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:57,279
(RECITES) We'll hide your lube
so you have a dry root.
576
00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:59,079
Debone your fish
but leave the skin.
577
00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,559
Put your shoes outside
so they fill with snails.
578
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:03,679
(RECITES) Prematurely turn off
your clothes dryer.
579
00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:05,639
Set the wrong temperature
on your air-fryer.
580
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:07,319
We are on the money,
but so are you,
581
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:09,999
and now you've found the secret
to our immortal crew.
582
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,159
And you'll pay dearly for...
583
00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:13,959
ALL: (SING) ♪ Being on the money
584
00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:16,279
♪ Because we're on the money! ♪
585
00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:17,879
(RECITES)
There was movement in their bottoms
586
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:19,799
as I approached the lads.
587
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:23,319
Hearing of their fate,
they cried for mums and dads.
588
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:27,799
Should I entwine their shoelaces
or should I hide their keys?
589
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:29,879
And it came to me
like a mighty wind.
590
00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:31,319
Old Banjo
591
00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:33,479
will tickle their tummies.
592
00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:35,639
Is... Is, um...
593
00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:37,159
Is that it?
594
00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:38,959
Oh, you want it worse than that?
595
00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:40,799
(LAUGHS)
596
00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:42,119
(RECITES) We'll spit in your coffee!
597
00:22:42,120 --> 00:22:44,279
Take the apples from your toffee!
Unbalance the scales!
598
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:45,360
Redirect your mail!
599
00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:49,439
Have you noticed that Unaipon
isn't in the scene?
600
00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:51,679
It's a tale about portrayal
in a fitting first scene.
601
00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:53,559
Uncle was a genius
that most had never seen.
602
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:55,079
So, a first appearance now?
603
00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:56,400
Yeah, nah, fuck that.
604
00:22:57,400 --> 00:22:59,679
Yeah, a shout-out
to your Ngarrindjeri mob there.
605
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:01,359
Any of you mob got $50?
606
00:23:01,360 --> 00:23:05,199
(PLAYS GLAM-ROCK MUSIC)
607
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:07,359
And if that wasn't quite enough,
608
00:23:07,360 --> 00:23:09,359
then get a load of this.
609
00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:10,399
(LAUGHS)
610
00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:11,400
Ah.
Right.
611
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:12,400
Fuck.
612
00:23:12,401 --> 00:23:14,439
I'm gonna stab and kill you for...
613
00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:17,919
♪ Being on the money!
Because we're on the money!
614
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:20,399
♪ Because we're on the
615
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,559
♪ M-o-o-o-o-o-o... ♪
616
00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:24,039
(ALL SCREAM)
617
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:25,079
(GASPS)
618
00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:27,880
(LAUGHS)
619
00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:30,199
What?
620
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,359
What in the fuck?
621
00:23:32,360 --> 00:23:34,559
Is it... cake?!
622
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:35,560
Yes!
Yes!
623
00:23:35,561 --> 00:23:37,439
Yeah!
We got you!
624
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:38,919
Fooled by cake!
625
00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:40,359
You never could have guessed
626
00:23:40,360 --> 00:23:42,279
that we got so good
at turning things into cakes
627
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:44,399
that we baked
sentient cakes of ourselves
628
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:46,359
and then replaced ourselves
with the cakes.
629
00:23:46,360 --> 00:23:47,439
Ha-ha!
Ha!
630
00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:48,440
Ha!
Got ya!
631
00:23:48,441 --> 00:23:49,679
Yeah!
632
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:52,480
With all the loose ends tied up,
perfect opportunity to say goodb...
633
00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:59,000
I told you I'd be back,
you historical bastards!
634
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:02,079
Harold Holt!
635
00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:03,799
But we killed you!
636
00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:05,399
Oh, so, you thought.
637
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:08,479
But, just as Broden uncovered
before I was torpedoed...
638
00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:12,239
Hey, this is all really good stuff,
guys, it's just that...
639
00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:15,079
..we were actually super satisfied,
weren't we?
640
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:18,199
We were super satisfied with how it
wrapped up, and we need to go home.
641
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:21,919
You'll have to get through my super
forcefield technology first, Holt.
642
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:25,040
(ELECTRICITY BUZZES, CRACKLES)
643
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:27,160
(FARTS)
644
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:32,719
It can't be! Future Broden?
645
00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:34,759
Yes, 'tis I,
646
00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:37,759
all the way from 2024.
647
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:40,999
'Tis I who farted on my own dick...
648
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,360
(FARTS)
..leading me to the final clue.
649
00:24:44,360 --> 00:24:48,759
And now you must all die.
650
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:51,679
Future Broden?
Then the prophecy is true.
651
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:53,599
Oh, my God.
Oh, the prophecy.
652
00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:55,079
God, the credits are about to...
653
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:56,559
Ah. There we go.
Oh.
654
00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:58,880
Comes upon the... Ohh!
655
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:04,359
(INDISTINCT YELLING)
656
00:25:04,360 --> 00:25:05,399
Wow.
657
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:06,560
Wowie.
658
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:08,640
(SIGHS)
659
00:25:08,641 --> 00:25:09,999
So, did you do that door?
660
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:11,599
What? What door?
661
00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:14,599
The toilet door.
Did you fix the toilet door?
662
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:16,839
No. Zach and I
were doing cake stuff today, dude.
663
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:18,559
The whole cake thing.
That was earlier.
664
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:20,999
Oh, we made a car out of cake
and sold it to someone,
665
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:22,719
and then they drove it off.
It was sick.
666
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:25,639
And then we tried to fix the toilet
door with cake. That was fun.
667
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:27,599
That's when Sally-Anne
turned it into cake.
668
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:29,599
So, did you fix the toilet door?
669
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:31,359
The toilet door?
What are you talking about?
670
00:25:31,360 --> 00:25:33,479
No, you don't fix...
You don't FIX cake.
671
00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:34,480
You EAT cake.
672
00:25:34,481 --> 00:25:36,679
You bake a cake.
You bake cake and you eat it.
673
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:39,159
'Fix' is not a verb
that works with cake.
674
00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:41,679
You have been saying
some crazy stuff today, mate.
675
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:43,039
Oh!
Remember when you thought
676
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:45,839
the people on the money were real
and there was, like, a conspiracy?
677
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:48,279
I was wrong about that. But, you
know, I still think we need a toilet.
678
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:50,079
No, you weren't.
No, they're right there.
679
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:51,679
What are you talking about?
Is that who they are?
680
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:53,199
You're saying the craziest stuff,
dude.
681
00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:56,039
Are they the money people
that you were talking about?
682
00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:57,880
He's...
That explains a lot.
683
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:02,959
Captions by Red Bee Media
684
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:04,960
Copyright
Australian Broadcasting Corporation
48688
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof