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MICHELLE: (READS) "Today -
the World Championships
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00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:08,039
"of People who are Terrible
at Noughts-and-Crosses.
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00:00:08,040 --> 00:00:09,519
"Please don't read this aloud."
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(GASPS) Ama-ma.
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(SOFTLY) Sorry, sign. Sorry.
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00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:15,039
COMMENTATOR: And welcome back
to the World Championships
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00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:16,959
of People who are Terrible
at Noughts-and-Crosses.
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First two moves
have been particularly bad.
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00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:22,039
Top right.
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SPECTATORS: Ooh!
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Top right.
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00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:28,639
COMMENTATOR:
Yeah, it's really bad stuff here.
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Shit.
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00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:32,039
I was going to go there.
15
00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:34,320
Any of the available spaces.
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00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:37,720
Top left.
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00:00:40,160 --> 00:00:42,079
Top left?
Yeah.
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00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:43,120
Alright.
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00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:46,159
COMMENTATOR:
Once again a terrible choice.
20
00:00:46,160 --> 00:00:49,199
The finalists are really
acting out the premise well here.
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00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:50,400
Didn't want to...
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00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:52,640
It wouldn't be right.
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Your turn.
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00:00:58,400 --> 00:00:59,959
Top right.
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00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:01,879
Top right?
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00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:04,479
So, that square is taken by you.
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00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:06,679
COMMENTATOR: There appears
to be some confusion down there.
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00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:07,680
Top right.
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00:01:07,681 --> 00:01:09,519
No, it's not your... No.
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It's your turn.
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00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:12,039
Any of the AVAILABLE squares.
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00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:14,119
Any of the available squares.
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00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:15,679
Hmm. Pass.
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00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:17,319
Bottom left.
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SPECTATORS: Ooh!
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COMMENTATOR: Fantastic atmosphere
by the crowd there.
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Am I allowed to ask them
why they just said, "Ooh"?
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00:01:23,320 --> 00:01:24,359
Uh...
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00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:26,399
They're just reading
what it says there.
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00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:27,400
No...
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Middle top.
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00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:30,679
Middle top?
Put a circle there one.
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00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:32,879
No, you're cross... You're...
You're cross.
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00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:34,199
Congratulations.
No...
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00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:35,639
You've got to get three in a row...
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00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:36,640
Right.
..of yours.
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00:01:36,641 --> 00:01:38,559
Congratulations.
No. Stop... Stop it.
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Stop it! Three in a row.
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00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:42,879
Zach! Table five need
those almond croissants pronto!
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00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:45,559
Hey, stop doing latte art
with little dicks in them, please.
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You're the one making connections
out of nowhere. They are hearts.
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00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:50,599
Come's coming out of these,
Stephanie!
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00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:53,159
You know the Ancient Romans
considered genitalia
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the source of all love.
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OK.
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Zach, is this what
you've been serving table five?
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Yeah.
They ordered almond croissants.
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00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:03,479
Not almonds AND croissants.
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How was I supposed to know that?!
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00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:07,719
This isn't a thing that exists?!
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00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:10,719
Did you teach her this (BLEEP!)?
I taught her that as a joke!
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00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:12,799
It's not funny
to put dicks in coffee!
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00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:13,800
What?!
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00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:15,919
We've got impressionable
(BLEEP!) children here working now!
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00:02:15,920 --> 00:02:17,679
She's fucking 16, Broden!
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She watches MA movies!
She knows what a dick is!
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Boys!
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(FLASHY MUSIC PLAYS)
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00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:31,880
Hi!
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00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:36,319
I'm your property manager
from the real-estate agency.
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00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:39,119
How's it going? Alright. Good. Not
bad. Talk to me. How're you going?
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00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:41,519
Pretty good. The other week,
this place was filled with wasps.
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Oh, beautiful!
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00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:45,239
OK, well, I just wanted
to pop down here
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00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:47,359
and see why you haven't
paid your rent in six months.
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00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:48,919
You're in big trouble, my boys.
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00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:53,079
What are you talking about? We pay
our rent every month like clockwork.
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(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS)
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00:02:56,640 --> 00:02:59,239
Well, that's the rent paid,
my drudes.
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00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:01,159
Back to the cafe.
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00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:02,559
Orange.
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00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:03,719
But nah, mate!
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00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:06,199
You owe us, like, thousands
of dollars, gents, alright?
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00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:07,399
W-T-F?
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00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:09,039
Uh-huh. It's tomato day,
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00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:10,639
and you haven't got
enough empty, clean jars
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00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:11,839
for the passata, I'm afraid.
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00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:14,399
Which one of you pooheads
hasn't been paying the rent?
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00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:15,479
Mark, language!
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00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:18,799
Look, Miss, there must be
some sort of clerical error here.
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00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:21,359
Can't we organise
a potential payment-payback scheme?
92
00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:24,599
Oof! Try saying that one
10 times fast, kids.
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00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:26,799
No, no.
It's too late for that, I'm afraid.
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00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:28,559
It's like
you're curing the salami mix,
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00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:30,919
and somebody's forgotten to salt it,
sadly.
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00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:32,280
(CHUCKLES)
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00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,199
Oh, I talk mostly in Italian-cooking
analogies, by the way.
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00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:37,839
Well, I'm Italian too,
99
00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:40,759
but I prefer talking about
E-sports, graphic novels
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00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:44,040
and hanging out online
through the Discord platform.
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00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:50,480
Mm.
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00:03:50,481 --> 00:03:52,039
OK. Um...
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00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:53,159
Oh.
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00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:55,279
Any of the available squares. Here.
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00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:57,239
Top right.
Yeah. No. Taken. Here.
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00:03:57,240 --> 00:03:58,719
Look. Loo...
Top right.
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00:03:58,720 --> 00:03:59,720
No!
108
00:03:59,721 --> 00:04:00,959
I'll take the top right.
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00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:01,960
No! Please?
110
00:04:01,961 --> 00:04:03,159
Please!
You know what?
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00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:05,639
I actually just came down here
to evict you,
112
00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:07,199
but I can see
you dabble in functions, lads.
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00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:10,199
Oh, yeah, we do functions, sketches,
whatever you want to call them.
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00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:11,999
OK. Alright. Cop this one.
115
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:16,519
Your cafe is going to host the
Annual Real Estate Awards tonight,
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and, in return,
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00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:20,919
I'm going to give you a little bit
of an extension on paying your rent.
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00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:22,839
We can't do that tonight.
We've already got a function on.
119
00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:25,199
Well, you know what?
Like, if you prefer,
120
00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:28,199
I can just step aside and let you
talk directly to your landlord
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00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:31,080
because, you know, she's very
reasonable and level-headed, so...
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00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:34,439
Sally-Anne, what are you doing?!
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Little spider came in!
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00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:38,239
That's not a spider, Sally-Anne,
125
00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:39,719
that's a man!
126
00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:40,959
It's Mark, Sally-Anne!
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00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:43,999
I'm gonna stab you, you little shit!
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(SCREAMS)
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00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:46,359
Alright.
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00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:47,879
Hey, you guys have got to piss off.
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It's alright. We're done.
It was a draw.
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They're REALLY bad.
They're REALLY bad.
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00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:53,920
Beautiful!
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00:04:53,921 --> 00:04:56,999
Well, I'll scoot home,
have a shower, make a pod coffee,
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00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:59,999
go to the garden, have a fig, smash
that coffee, a little biscotti,
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00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,599
dippy-dip, have a sip,
137
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,319
scoot back in,
put on the awards night.
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00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:05,799
No dramas! Beautiful.
139
00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:08,599
God damn it, boys!
140
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:11,319
I wanted to go top right.
You should've. You could've won it.
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00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:14,320
(THEME MUSIC PLAYS)
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00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:30,639
(GRUMBLES)
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00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:32,159
Yeah, no, I've actually
got a showing soon.
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00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:34,479
Oh, they're setting up
the Real Estate Awards already.
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00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:36,799
Yep. And you're passing in
anything under 1.6...
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00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:38,759
This is so embarrassing, boys.
147
00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:41,759
This is more embarrassing
than when films have montages
148
00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:44,079
and the lyrics to the song
don't match thematically.
149
00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:45,559
(QUIETLY) What an odd thing to say.
150
00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:48,959
Let's pay the rent
out of our own bank accounts.
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00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:50,879
For some reason,
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00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:54,159
that's the blood oath we agreed to
when we opened this cafe.
153
00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:57,159
Well, when I was seven, I missed out
on my birthday because of rent.
154
00:05:57,160 --> 00:05:59,599
I pay my rent on time every month,
Mark.
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00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:00,959
Oh, my God. What happened?
156
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:02,919
(REMEMBERS) Broden, it's your dad,
Ross Stevenson, here.
157
00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:05,079
You were so bad in that production
of Rent the musical
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00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:07,279
that we're cancelling
your eighth birthday party.
159
00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:11,719
No birthday cake, no cowboy hat, no
eighth birthday party for you ever.
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00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:13,999
(GUNFIRE, EXPLOSIONS)
Weather coming up.
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00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,439
Are you...
162
00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:18,879
Better than ever. Just thinking of
what I'll have for lunch today. Yum.
163
00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:20,079
So, are you telling me
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00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:23,919
neither of you two bozos
are going to admit to this?
165
00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:26,239
What, we've got to open up
our bank accounts
166
00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:29,839
and trawl through our statements
to see who the culprit was?
167
00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:32,239
Really?!
That's what we're going to do?!
168
00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:34,120
Alright then, who's going first?
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00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:36,799
(SCOFFS) No volunteers?
170
00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:38,479
Not a single one of youse?
171
00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:40,279
Fine! I'll put my hand up.
172
00:06:40,280 --> 00:06:41,559
I'll do it first.
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00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:42,719
(LAUGHS)
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00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:44,199
I cannot believe
175
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:45,919
I work with two people
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00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:48,879
so unwilling
to admit to a mistake...
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00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:53,839
(CRIES)
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00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:55,039
It was me.
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00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:56,159
(CRIES)
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00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:57,719
Well, what the heck is this?
181
00:06:57,720 --> 00:06:59,999
I haven't been paying the rent,
boys.
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00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,919
I am shocked.
183
00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:04,279
Not about the rent thing.
That doesn't surprise me.
184
00:07:04,280 --> 00:07:06,039
You're still seven?
185
00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:07,239
No, I'm not seven.
186
00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:10,679
I just... I turned eight. I just
didn't have a birthday party for it.
187
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,279
Do you understand?
Yes.
188
00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:15,879
I've got an addiction!
Look at my hands!
189
00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:17,559
Look at them!
190
00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:19,639
I can't stop thinking about
my next hit.
191
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:22,239
A can't sleep. I'm living in a sac.
192
00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:23,679
Oh, my God, Mark, a hessian sack?
193
00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:26,159
No, a cul-de-sac.
It's a little bit different.
194
00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:28,679
So, do you still get, like,
cheap movie tickets and stuff?
195
00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:31,399
I'm not seven! I'm not seven.
Alright?
196
00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:34,399
Don't worry, Mark, acknowledgement
is the first step to recovery.
197
00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:35,799
Me and Zach are going to help you
198
00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:38,399
get back
to your little hairy dirt-fuck self.
199
00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:39,839
Dirt-fuck?
200
00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:46,599
(BOTH MURMUR INDISTINCTLY)
201
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:47,600
Oh.
202
00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:48,959
Stop right there.
203
00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:50,919
(LAUGHS)
You stop right there. (LAUGHS)
204
00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:53,679
Alright, Mark,
Zach and I have laid a plan.
205
00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,719
Zach's going to stay here
and oversee the function,
206
00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:57,719
and I'm going to help you
boot this addiction.
207
00:07:57,720 --> 00:07:59,479
Look, it's a shame
I can't go with you,
208
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:01,519
but I think we can all agree
209
00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:03,439
that running an entire function
210
00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:06,759
is too complicated of a task
for a little seven-year-old boy.
211
00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:09,319
Are you cooked, man? I'm not seven.
212
00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:11,560
I got a year older.
I just didn't have a birthday party.
213
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,039
You've never been
on a roller-coaster!
214
00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:17,439
I'm 33! Stop it!
215
00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:20,240
Alright, Mark, what's your addiction?
216
00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:25,920
(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYS)
217
00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:28,519
(DRUMS NON-RHYTHMICALLY)
218
00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:32,120
(BUZZER)
219
00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:34,400
(BUZZER)
220
00:08:35,560 --> 00:08:37,159
Got to get the timing just right.
221
00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:39,479
(BUZZER)
222
00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:40,959
It's so hard.
223
00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:42,319
(BUZZER)
224
00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:44,719
MACHINE: You lose!
225
00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:46,919
You're addicted to Drummy Cool Dude?
226
00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:50,279
I'm not a perfectionist.
I don't want to 100% it.
227
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,999
I just want to get through it
without failing it. You know?
228
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,919
I can't leave until I do.
229
00:08:54,920 --> 00:08:56,679
Don't worry, Mark.
I'm going to help you finish
230
00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:59,039
Flight Of The Bumblebee right now.
231
00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:01,199
You really mean it,
Broden Kelly from Aunty Donna?
232
00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:02,599
Oh, you betcha.
233
00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:04,759
Because your story
deserves to be finished.
234
00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:08,679
Everyone has a story,
and every story deserves to be told!
235
00:09:08,680 --> 00:09:10,359
That bloke over there!
236
00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:11,879
That... That guy!
237
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:13,319
And you, mate,
238
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:14,320
over there!
239
00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:16,240
What did you do today?
240
00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:20,999
Good morning, extras.
241
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,079
Welcome to the set
of the new Aunty Donna show.
242
00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:25,359
This morning we're going
to be shooting an arcade scene.
243
00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:27,679
A few rules to go through
before we get started.
244
00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:29,919
Number one - no overacting.
245
00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:32,199
It's not funny,
and you WILL get cut.
246
00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:34,679
Number two - do not talk on set.
247
00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:38,079
Even if one of the boys tries to
impro a line with you, do not reply
248
00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:39,719
because they WILL blacklist you
249
00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:41,960
and you'll never work
in this industry again.
250
00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:44,160
Is that clear?
251
00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:47,119
Is he alright?
252
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:49,040
Tell us what you did!
253
00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:52,159
Maybe he's sick...
Talk to me!
254
00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:53,799
What's...
Weird.
255
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:55,839
Alright. Let me have a crack at this.
256
00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:58,279
Been a little while
since Alex Kidd on Sega, LOL.
257
00:09:58,280 --> 00:09:59,399
LOL.
LOL.
258
00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:01,839
LOL. (CHUCKLES)
Alright, you just press down here?
259
00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:03,079
Yeah.
(BEEP!)
260
00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:05,519
(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYS)
Good luck. It's hard.
261
00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:10,120
(DRUMS RHYTHMICALLY)
262
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:14,919
MACHINE: You're cool at drumming!
263
00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:16,639
Hmm...
264
00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:18,519
Probably beginner's luck, eh?
265
00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:20,039
I'll give it another go?
266
00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:21,040
Mm.
267
00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:22,040
(BEEP!)
268
00:10:22,041 --> 00:10:24,079
(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYS)
269
00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:28,720
(DRUMS RHYTHMICALLY)
270
00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:38,400
MACHINE: You're cool at drumming!
271
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:41,920
Hmm...
272
00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:46,239
(DRUMS RHYTHMICALLY)
273
00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:47,520
Mm.
274
00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:55,680
Hmm...
275
00:10:57,440 --> 00:11:02,440
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
276
00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:07,399
(GENTLE PIANO INTRO PLAYS)
277
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:11,519
(SINGS) ♪ It's real estate's
night of nights
278
00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:14,359
♪ It's magical and so jaunty
279
00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:16,999
♪ Everybody's dressed to impress
280
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:20,399
♪ 'Cause tonight
it's The (BLEEP!)-ies
281
00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:23,119
(SINGS)
♪ Every single realtor is a (BLEEP!)
282
00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:26,359
♪ If you lose, don't get grumpy
283
00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:27,919
BOTH: ♪ You're still a (BLEEP!)
284
00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:29,399
♪ I'm still a (BLEEP!)
285
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:32,239
♪ Tonight we're all (BLEEP!)-ies!
286
00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:35,039
♪ Who's the biggest (BLEEP!)?
Is it you or me?
287
00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:38,319
♪ We're (BLEEP!)
of the air, of the land and the sea
288
00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:41,159
♪ If you've ever sold a house
on earth
289
00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:45,319
♪ Well above what it is worth
290
00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:49,239
♪ The best night
that you've ever seen
291
00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:53,879
♪ Better than a renovator's dream
292
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:57,799
♪ Blow out the candles
and make a wish
293
00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:02,199
♪ Which one of you
earned the biggest commish?
294
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:05,119
♪ Who has a big commish?
♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
295
00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:07,359
♪ It's The (BLEEP!)-ies
296
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:11,719
♪ Yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah
♪ O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-h
297
00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:14,720
♪ We're all big, old (BLEEP!) ♪
298
00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:19,679
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
299
00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:21,679
Cheers, lads, and welcome
300
00:12:21,680 --> 00:12:23,999
to the 38th Annual (BLEEP!)-ies,
301
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:26,759
the most magical day
on the real-estate calendar.
302
00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:27,999
Apart from that time
303
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:30,799
I sold an absolute shitbox
in Balwyn North
304
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:32,919
for over 500 K above reserve
305
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:35,519
and brought home a tasty commish.
306
00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:38,479
It has been a big year
for all of us (BLEEP!).
307
00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:42,239
We've sold some houses and made some
huge commishes on those sales.
308
00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:44,719
GUEST: I've sold a house as well.
309
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:45,799
That's sick as.
310
00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:47,479
How long till I can leave?
311
00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:49,959
I've got Andre Rieu tickets.
312
00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:53,199
Excuse me. How much longer
does this have to go?
313
00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:55,159
Oh, don't worry.
Like, as a community,
314
00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:57,679
agents don't like to pat ourselves
on the back too much,
315
00:12:57,680 --> 00:12:59,639
so, you know, probably only another
316
00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:02,039
50 or so thousand awards
to give out.
317
00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:03,960
Should take several weeks at most.
318
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:08,280
The award for:
319
00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:11,839
We have Mitch!
320
00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:14,519
Mark, I'm going to get you drumming
like a real Drum Boy in no time.
321
00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:15,959
You mean it?
Oh, mate.
322
00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:18,759
I got an A for singing in Year 12.
You are in good hands.
323
00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:21,759
I could have done music theatre
at uni if I'd wanted. Seriously.
324
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,759
Then sing a little for me,
Chad Kroeger.
325
00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:27,400
(SINGS) ♪ Oh, you want
a little bit of singing, yeah? ♪
326
00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:38,799
OK. Timing.
327
00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:40,679
Most music follows the basic
four-four time signature,
328
00:13:40,680 --> 00:13:42,159
so, one, two, three, four.
329
00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:45,199
Do it for me. One, two, three, four.
Do it with me.
330
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:46,799
One, two. Stomp for me.
331
00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:48,999
One, two, three.
Just get that rhythm.
332
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:50,719
One, two. Come on, join the rhythm.
333
00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:52,999
Just don't worry about the words.
Just stomp in time.
334
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,279
Too much, OK. Just clap. (CLAPS)
335
00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:56,639
Clap.
336
00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:57,999
Mark, clap.
337
00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:00,279
Put your hands together
and make noise.
338
00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:01,959
You don't know what clapping is?
339
00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:03,439
Are you cooked?
340
00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:05,239
So, so far we've learnt you're broke
341
00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:07,919
and you're a grown human man
342
00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:09,280
and you don't know what a clap is.
343
00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:15,239
Well, we've got a lot of work to do,
little fella.
344
00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:18,879
I hope you're ready to bust a nut,
you little nut boy,
345
00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:20,359
'cause I'm going
to make you work harder
346
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:21,839
than you've ever worked in your life.
347
00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:24,079
But, also, we're in an arcade,
so, let's have a bit of fun, alright?
348
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:26,160
Let's have fun while we're here.
Absolutely.
349
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:28,959
Legit, are you cooked?
350
00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:32,239
SONG: ♪ Run, run, run
Drive my big truck
351
00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:35,639
♪ Driving down the interstate
I'm all out of luck.
352
00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:39,959
♪ And then I hit a person
with my car
353
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:44,159
♪ And then I drove away
354
00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:47,759
♪ Hit and run Hit, hit-and-run
355
00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:51,239
♪ I hit him with my car
and now I'm on the run
356
00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:53,039
♪ I did a hit, hit, hit... ♪
357
00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:54,199
Let's stop for a sec.
358
00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:55,239
I know it was my idea
359
00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:57,479
to wear the loose fabric-y
tracksuit pants and stuff,
360
00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,679
but I can really clearly
see your nuts.
361
00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:00,680
Yes.
362
00:15:00,681 --> 00:15:01,839
Stop.
Sorry.
363
00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:03,599
Let's just go back
to our normal clothes.
364
00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:05,279
♪ I burned my truck
365
00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:06,679
♪ Ditched the plates
366
00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:08,719
♪ Gonna start a new life
367
00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:10,719
♪ In a new state
368
00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:12,519
♪ Did a hit-and-run
369
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,799
♪ In my big truck
370
00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:16,879
♪ And then the guy died
371
00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:18,679
♪ Just my luck
372
00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:21,919
♪ The FBI is trying to find me
373
00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:25,239
♪ 'Cause I did a hit-and-run... ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you... ♪
374
00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:29,719
♪ Happy birthday to you... ♪
(GUNFIRE, EXPLOSIONS)
375
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,399
♪ Happy birthday... ♪
♪ I hit him with my car
376
00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:33,479
♪ And now I'm on the run
377
00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:35,559
♪ I did a hit, hit, hit
378
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,839
♪ Hit, hit-and-run, yeah
379
00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:41,759
♪ I hit him with my car
and now I run, run, run
380
00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:43,719
♪ Yeah, hit-and-runs I did one
381
00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:45,559
♪ I hit a man and then I run
382
00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:47,559
♪ Hit and run, running here
383
00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:49,599
♪ I hit a man, yeah, I did
384
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:51,479
♪ Then I ran, ran away
385
00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:53,279
♪ That is called a hit-and-run
386
00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:55,039
♪ Yeah me, I did one
387
00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:56,999
♪ I did a hit-and-run
388
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,199
♪ With my truck I hit a man
389
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:00,759
♪ I ran, ran a man down
390
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:02,759
♪ And then I ran, ran, ran away
391
00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:05,159
♪ And then I ran down another man. ♪
392
00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:08,759
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS)
393
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:10,439
♪ Hit and run
394
00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:12,519
♪ Hit, hit-and-run, yeah
395
00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:16,600
♪ I hit him with my car
and now I run, run, run... ♪
396
00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:23,599
Elbow, fist. Bam, bam! He staggers,
jump up, kick to the face.
397
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:24,719
He's down!
398
00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:26,399
Then I turn to them and I say,
399
00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:29,079
"Listen up, you motherfuckers.
400
00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:30,639
"You have got a choice -
401
00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:33,160
"the door or my fist?"
402
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:37,120
And then they run away.
403
00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:41,079
Thank you, Martha,
for explaining what you would do
404
00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:43,879
if a group of terrorists
attacked one of your showings.
405
00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:46,719
I'm sure you would get
a huge commish for that sale.
406
00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:48,559
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
407
00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:51,239
Now we remember those
we have lost this past year.
408
00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:52,999
(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYS)
409
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,960
(SINGS) ♪ Really, really sad
and I miss you, my friend
410
00:16:57,560 --> 00:17:00,039
♪ Your pain ♪ Pure sadness
411
00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:01,199
♪ Remix
412
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:03,919
♪ Yeah, come on ♪ So bad
413
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:05,959
(RAPS) ♪ It's really sad
when we lose the ones we love
414
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:06,960
♪ Yeah
415
00:17:06,961 --> 00:17:08,519
♪ But they're shining down on us
from up above
416
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,560
♪ Love grows
♪ Mother-(BLEEP!)... ♪
417
00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:13,279
Nic, I need to talk to you.
418
00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:15,199
Ah, you heard how good I was
419
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:18,399
at putting big 'sold' stickers
on signs, and you want my advice?
420
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:19,559
(CHUCKLES)
421
00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:21,479
Nah, you can't teach talent. Soz.
422
00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:23,719
What? No, no, it's...
423
00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:27,159
I need you guys to leave because...
how do I put this lightly?
424
00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:29,319
I hate this and it's awful.
425
00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:32,679
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
That's such a shame.
426
00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:35,520
Guess I'm going
to have to give Sally-Anne a ring.
427
00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:38,719
Little spider came in again.
428
00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:41,599
That's not a spider, Sally-Anne!
That's a man!
429
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:42,919
It's Zach, Sally-Anne!
430
00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:45,679
I'm going to stab you, you little...
(SCREAMS)
431
00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:48,639
OK. Fair point. But is there any way
to make this go faster?
432
00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:52,319
No way, Zachy! You can't stop
a (BLEEP!)-ie once it's started.
433
00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:54,039
Really?
REALLY really.
434
00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:55,359
You know, I mean, OK, like,
435
00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:57,719
unless the real-estate bubble burst,
I guess,
436
00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:59,479
that would ruin everything, but...
437
00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:00,480
(LAUGHS)
438
00:18:00,481 --> 00:18:03,159
Which, of course, is impossible
and would never happen
439
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:05,119
because there is no bubble.
440
00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:07,159
You should forget I said that.
441
00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,160
Here, have a fig.
442
00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:14,679
This shadowy revelation
presents an opportunity.
443
00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:16,439
If that bubble is real,
444
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:18,759
than what is real can be burst.
445
00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:21,079
Yes. I shall study.
446
00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:23,319
I shall learn
the ways of the bubble.
447
00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:25,159
And when the time is right
448
00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:27,399
I shall cure this cafe
449
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:30,639
of its real-estate-agent plague.
450
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:33,559
Is what I reckon we should do.
But I'm open.
451
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:36,039
What... Where...
What do YOU think we should do?
452
00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:37,599
Yeah, that's good.
453
00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:39,479
Yeah?
Yeah.
454
00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:40,480
I just...
455
00:18:40,481 --> 00:18:42,479
I went in so confident, but I'm...
456
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:43,879
No, I'll do it.
457
00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:46,479
I'm going to go...
Get off your phone.
458
00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:49,200
Here are the nominees for:
459
00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:55,319
Steve, Greg...
460
00:18:55,320 --> 00:19:00,039
Oh, jeez, Louise. It's
a pretty big crowd forming, Broden.
461
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:02,479
I feel like I've gone
to the butterfly sanctuary
462
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:04,519
and eaten a bunch of butterflies
463
00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:06,679
and then I've pooed out
all the butterflies.
464
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:08,519
I know, they're pretty impressive.
Look at that one.
465
00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:11,279
But don't worry, Mark. I taught you
everything you need to know.
466
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,479
(EXHALES HEAVILY) OK.
467
00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:14,480
(BEEP!)
468
00:19:14,481 --> 00:19:16,599
(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYS)
469
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:17,679
(BANGS)
(BUZZER)
470
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:18,680
Oh, damn it.
471
00:19:18,681 --> 00:19:19,959
(BUZZER)
472
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:21,239
(DRUMS NON-RHYTHMICALLY)
473
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:26,520
(BUZZER)
474
00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:29,159
(BUZZER)
475
00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:31,999
(DRUMS NON-RHYTHMICALLY)
476
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,479
(BUZZER)
477
00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:35,879
MACHINE: You lose!
478
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:38,679
(CROWD LAUGHS)
479
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:40,759
You (BLEEP!) loser!
480
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:42,399
It's hopeless.
481
00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:43,879
I'M hopeless.
482
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:45,839
For the first time in my life,
Broden Kelly,
483
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:49,359
I think I'm going to have to accept
the consequences of my actions
484
00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:51,439
and trick Zach into giving me
the money
485
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:52,999
and use that money to pay my rent.
486
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:55,319
I won't have it! No!
487
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:58,199
You're going to stay here
till you beat that damned addiction!
488
00:19:58,200 --> 00:19:59,879
Give it one more go.
489
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:01,239
You really think I can do it?
490
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:02,599
I don't THINK so.
491
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:04,160
I think maybe you can.
492
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:06,160
(BEEP!)
493
00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:17,440
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS)
494
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:24,399
(BEEPING)
495
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:25,439
Now we're cooking.
496
00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:26,999
Now we're cookin'.
497
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,200
Oh, my God.
498
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:31,400
MACHINE: Good job! Keep going!
499
00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:35,560
MACHINE: You're cool at drumming!
500
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:42,920
(BANG!)
501
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,559
MACHINE: You win!
502
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:49,159
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
100% completion!
503
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:50,319
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
504
00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:51,679
I did it!
505
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:54,279
I did it! (LAUGHS)
506
00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:56,759
No! I hate you!
507
00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:58,519
I can't believe it.
508
00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:01,319
I beat the game AND on 100%.
509
00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:04,039
Mark, you beat
that damned addiction.
510
00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:07,639
I am coming back here every day
and spending all of my money.
511
00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:10,239
Absolutely. Me too.
I'm going to take a loan out.
512
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:12,519
I told you, Mark -
if you set your mind to something,
513
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:14,239
you can achieve anything.
514
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:16,919
You are so right,
Broden Kelly from Aunty Donna.
515
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:18,359
Please stop doing that.
516
00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:21,439
Let's go get some waffle fries from
that place next door that I love.
517
00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:22,799
(GASPS)
Oh!
518
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:24,559
Oh.
Oop!
519
00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:26,039
Slippery digits.
520
00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:28,799
(BOTH LAUGH)
521
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:30,359
Oh!
(LAUGHS)
522
00:21:30,360 --> 00:21:32,199
Excuse me. I'm going to get that.
OK. You got to get that.
523
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:34,400
You get out of here.
Alright.
524
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:40,959
Thanks for operating the drum machine
from inside, mate. I owe you.
525
00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:42,119
I owe YOU one.
526
00:21:42,120 --> 00:21:43,559
This is the most useful thing
to come
527
00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:45,479
from shrinking myself
down to kid size.
528
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:48,359
I regret doing it so much.
Yes, it was a silly thing to do.
529
00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:50,079
I didn't even want anything
from the kids menu.
530
00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:52,479
I like adult meals,
like spaghetti and balls.
531
00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:54,959
The experiment was more
of a "Could I do it?" kind of thing.
532
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:57,039
And now I'm stuck.
Alright.
533
00:21:57,040 --> 00:21:58,159
Well, ta-ta.
534
00:21:58,160 --> 00:21:59,759
Think of all the incredible meals
I could've had
535
00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:02,079
if I'd spent my money
at fancy restaurants, but now...
536
00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:04,239
Tell my friends to attend my tent!
537
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:06,359
What a tiny man.
538
00:22:06,360 --> 00:22:08,199
Oh, by the way,
539
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,799
I should have about
five billion tickets on that thing.
540
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:11,800
Oh, my God.
541
00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:12,800
Yeah.
Yeah.
542
00:22:12,801 --> 00:22:14,839
And did you want to let that kid
out of the cupboard?
543
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:16,440
Can't be (BLEEP!).
544
00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:19,519
Finally, I'm not wearing any socks.
545
00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:20,599
Cheers.
546
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:21,879
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
547
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:23,599
Congratulations again to Johnno
548
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:26,199
for receiving
the (BLEEP!)-Time Achievement Award.
549
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:27,919
Just so well-deserved.
550
00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:29,519
Oh.
551
00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:34,199
Oh, and I've just been told we've
reached the 5% mark of the evening.
552
00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:37,280
Honestly, time flies
when you're a (BLEEP!).
553
00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:39,319
Which I am.
554
00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:42,239
You can't just pop the bubble
like it's a balloon, right?
555
00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:44,719
First you need to put
a noticeable amount of inflation
556
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:46,199
IN to the economy,
557
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:48,919
which will then, in turn,
put pressure on the banks...
558
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:51,359
(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
559
00:22:51,360 --> 00:22:52,959
Will, in turn, put pressure...
560
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:56,039
(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
561
00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:57,679
To increase the reserve...
562
00:22:57,680 --> 00:22:58,680
(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
563
00:22:58,681 --> 00:23:00,280
..IN to the economy.
564
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:03,319
And then that will, in turn,
565
00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:04,759
put pressure...
566
00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:05,999
(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
567
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:08,159
NIC: Real-estate agents, hear me.
568
00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:10,719
(SPOOKY CHANTING)
569
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:11,720
(SILENCE)
(CHUCKLES)
570
00:23:11,721 --> 00:23:17,280
It is time to pay homage
to the great and powerful bubble.
571
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:24,119
Oh, it's...
572
00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:26,200
It's a literal bubble.
573
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:29,079
OK.
574
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:32,199
The bubble is all-powerful
575
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:34,799
and earns us sick commishes.
576
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:36,879
All hail the bubble.
577
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:39,559
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
The bubble will never burst!
578
00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:42,039
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
579
00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:43,519
A-a-a-a-a-a...
580
00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:44,520
(POP!)
581
00:23:44,521 --> 00:23:45,719
..a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-gh!
582
00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:47,439
OK, the bubble's burst.
583
00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:48,840
OTHERS: It is done.
584
00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:52,959
(MONOTONOUSLY)
Off we go from whence we came.
585
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:56,319
Catch ya later, big fella.
Good on ya, champ...
586
00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:57,959
What are they doing?
587
00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:00,679
I burst the bubble, Mark.
It's all over.
588
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:03,759
Oh. Here's the cash
for that situation with your sister.
589
00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:05,839
I hope she's OK.
Where are they going?
590
00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:07,799
Not sure,
but if I were to hazard a guess,
591
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:09,279
I would say they're on their way
592
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:11,919
to the swampy marshes
under the West Gate Bridge,
593
00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:15,079
where they will curl up
and begin their hibernation process,
594
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:16,519
like a lungfish.
595
00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:17,520
Mm.
596
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:19,839
VOICEOVER: And Zach was right.
597
00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:22,519
Like the lungfish,
the real-estate agents will return
598
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:25,239
to the swampy marshes
under the West Gate Bridge.
599
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:27,239
There was no need
for the boys to pay their rent
600
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:30,759
for the agents were now in holes
150 centimetres deep,
601
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:32,599
their spines dislocated
602
00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:34,439
and folded in upon themselves,
603
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:36,399
leaving their nostrils above dirt
604
00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:38,119
to allow regulated breathing.
605
00:24:38,120 --> 00:24:41,399
The agents will re-emerge when the
market begins to regain confidence.
606
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:43,559
They will then recommence
selling houses
607
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:47,520
and receiving real nice commishes.
608
00:24:51,360 --> 00:24:52,999
I wish there was another season
of Friends so bad.
609
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:54,000
Mm, me t...
610
00:24:54,001 --> 00:24:56,719
Ah! Mr Bonanno,
our regular customer.
611
00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:59,959
I see you've returned
to redeem your tickets.
612
00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:02,319
(RECITES)
This isn't just an ordinary store.
613
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:03,799
Your tokens are not money.
614
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:07,639
The tokens are a key
to the wonderous and yummy.
615
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:09,759
The only thing confining you
616
00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:11,079
is your imagination.
617
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:13,039
You can have it all.
618
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:15,039
It funds your inclination.
619
00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:18,399
(SINGS) ♪ Go on
Just tell me your number of tokens
620
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:20,679
♪ And then an all-new world
621
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:22,439
♪ Of wonder will open. ♪
622
00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:25,599
Um... I have five billion tickets,
623
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:26,719
or tokens.
624
00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:29,439
Five billion tokens?
Well, what a delight!
625
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:33,319
Five billion tokens
is a glorious sight
626
00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:35,359
because five billion tokens
627
00:25:35,360 --> 00:25:37,119
is four billion more
628
00:25:37,120 --> 00:25:40,879
than any I've seen redeemed before.
629
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:44,559
(SINGS) ♪ "What can I get?"
is the question you might ask
630
00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:45,759
♪ With five billion tokens
631
00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:48,639
♪ You can get one chocolate bar! ♪
632
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:50,559
That's it, mother-(BLEEP!)
633
00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:52,559
That's all you get!
634
00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:54,479
We (BLEEP!) got you!
635
00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:57,279
I saw you there every day
for six months!
636
00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:00,399
You thought you were going to get
something from the shelf, did ya?!
637
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:02,319
Well, nah! You loser!
638
00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:03,759
You understand?!
639
00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:07,319
You thought you had enough tokens
for a board game. Ha!
640
00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:09,879
There are more stars in the sky
641
00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:13,759
than there are tokens
enough for a board game!
642
00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:16,399
No-one ever gets the best of me,
643
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:17,959
the arcade guy!
644
00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:19,279
Captions by Red Bee Media
645
00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:21,040
Copyright
Australian Broadcasting Corporation
46782
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