All language subtitles for RuPauls.Drag.Race.All.Stars.S09E05.1080p.WEB.h264-EDITH

- Previously on "All Stars"...

- Are there alliances?

- I think it's more like
cliques.

You and Gottmik...
Y'all are cliquey.

- The question was
about alliances.

So now you're saying
something that

had nothing to do
with the price of tea in China.

- Ooh.

- I am going to give

my Beautiful Benefactress Badge
to Roxxxy Andrews.

- What?

- I am going to give mine to...

Vanjie.

- To clique.

- For this week's Maxi
Challenge, working in pairs,

I want you to transform
these courageous firefighters

into smoking-hot pop stars.

- I can't wait
to work with Vanjie.

We have the exact
same motivation...

To earn our own badges.

- The Hoses:

Ms. Vanjie,
Roxxxy Andrews,

and Valerie Valentine.

- Right away, you read
like a pop girl group,

which was the assignment.

What a transformation.

- The top two All Stars
of the week are...

Roxxxy Andrews and Ms. Vanjie.

Condragulations.

You've each earned
a Beautiful Benefactress Badge.

This is your chance
to win $10,000 for your cause

and earn the power to cut off
one of your fellow queens

from receiving a Beautiful
Benefactress Badge next week.

Roxxxy Andrews,
Ms. Vanjie, it's a tie!

With great power comes
great responsibility.

- Snip, snip!
- Snip-snipper!

- Yes.

- We earned our badges.
We earned our badges.

- It will be the first time
I won a challenge

on "Drag Race."

Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo.

My God.

Me and Roxxxy started off
the week with no badges.

Now we have two badges.

And I won $5,000 for the ASPCA.

Giving cha-ching, cha-ching,
cha-ching, cha-ching.

- That lip sync was everything.
- It was fucking nasty.

- Really?

- I was literally going
from both of you.

And I was like, fuck,
I don't know.

It was amazing.
- It was fabulous.

- It was really sick.

- I am so stoked
that I put another $5,000

in the piggy bank
for the Miracle of Love.

And I finally earned
my own badge.

It feels good.

We went from needing badges

to getting our own badges.

- Y'all jumped the gun
real quick.

I said, goddamn.

- I might have made a mistake.

Roxxxy is a fierce competitor.

And now she has two badges.

And one of those badges,
I gave her.

So, if Roxxxy makes it
to the end, I'm part of that.

And if I don't make it,
I'm part of that.

Fuck.

Ooh.

- There's a sister.

- OK, the first time,
being cut off was cute.

I understood it.
I was the frontrunner.

I get it.

But the second time, bitch,
this feels personal.

It got me all in my feelings.

That wasn't supposed to happen.

Man.

- What's going on, fishcakes?

Fishcakes? Ew.

- If I'm being honest,

this one actually does
sting a lot.

I feel like, damn, girl,

like, everybody,
just gonna cut me every week.

Like, it just...

- I promise you,
it wasn't anything personal.

It was just like
an eye for an eye for me.

But because it was a tie,
I looked at Vanjie.

I said, what do you want to do?

Because we only get one.

- For me, it's like a cop-out.

Like, she snipped you.

Let's snip her.

That way, it's like a...
Like, almost like an excuse.

- We couldn't do...
Nina gave me a badge.

I can't do Nina.
- Yeah.

- Shannel's trying
to win her badge.

I want her to win a badge.
I couldn't do her.

Mik gave her a badge.
- She gave me a badge.

I forgot.

- And they did so good today
in the challenge.

How are we gonna snip
one of them?

- I don't know.

It, like, don't even feel
fair to me because I...

I don't even feel like
I'm the frontrunner like that.

Bitch, bullshit.
I don't buy it.

There's a lot of explanation
being handed out.

But what it all
sounds like to me is,

let me cut you so I don't
have to cut my friend.

You want to call it an alliance,

you want to call it... call it
what you want to, bitch.

But the girls are definitely
playing the game, bitch.

And it's working out
in their favor.

But guess what.

I can play this game, too, OK?

- It did hurt my feelings
when you swore at me onstage.

I love you.

She said, "No, ma'am."

- I didn't just pick you
to get snipped tonight, girl.

It was a dual thing.

- I, like, swerved you onstage.

That was just to be... you know,
that was just to be cat.

But, you know,
I'm not gonna, like,

hold nothing against you.

- I just don't like
that kind of stuff.

But I understand
where you're at.

And I still love you, girl.

- Right now,
it's a little awkward,

like when someone farts
and nobody knows who did it.

Something's in the air.

We don't know quite what it is.

- Gottmik,
I just want to say this.

At the beginning of the week,
when you did make mention

that you had felt like
Angeria, myself, and Nina

were all in some sort
of an alliance

or something together...
- Wait.

So, Shannel and Angeria, you
guys really aren't in a clique

or... or alliance or anything?

Because I remember
when I was lip-synching,

you two were going off
for Nina only.

- Ooh.

- I would be lying if I said
that that did not hurt

because that never happened.

And that never will happen.

- Tonight I was vocally
cheering on both of you

and saying, go, queens,
because I didn't want there

to be any miscommunication
or misconstruing of, I think,

the intention
of cheering people on.

What are people...
People are making faces. What?

What?

- This is just so messy.
- Yeah.

- I feel like it's so messy.

- Now we got to be mindful
of who we cheer on?

- No.

I don't care who the fuck
you're cheering for at all.

Like, there was
other little things.

And people were
whispering to me.

So I was just like,
I'm just gonna ask them.

- Well, who the hell
is saying this shit?

Where the fuck
is this coming from?

- We were adding up the math.

We were like, OK, well, this...
- What math?

- Like, just the math
of, well, if somebody wins

and they give away this,
then this person will have two.

And then this person
will have one.

- Sudoku.
- "Suduku."

- "Suduku."

- And then I went to Vanjie.

If Nina wins, she's gonna
give the badge to Shannel.

And it seems that
they have an alliance.

- You went to Vanjie?
- Yes.

- When it was presented to me,
it was... the word

"alliance" was brought up.

- I was like, do you think
that this is a possibility?

- And I wanted to make sure.
- Yeah.

- So I told Mik.

- And they were
talking about it.

And then Nina said she was
giving her badge to Shannel.

- That's where it came...
That's where it started.

- Well, no, no,
that's not what happened.

- And I was like, there's no
way, like, LOL, moving on.

And then the cheering thing
happened.

It was just like
another little moment.

- I'm... I'm so lost, and I'm
so confused with all of this.

- Well, it was a very open
conversation carried over

into another conversation
in another aspect

of the competition.

- And the other good thing
I said, whoo, Nina and Mik.

- You brought it up,
about the cliques, whatever.

- You guys aren't
in a clique or anything.

- I math'd the math!

- So far in this
competition, I think

I've been trying
to be aware of everything

that's going on around me.

I'm over it.

And at this point, I realize

that I cannot keep up
with these bitches

and their mathematical strategy
of how this game is working.

- Let's get the fuck
out of drag.

- I need to get the fuck
out of this shit.

- Girl, I don't know.

Like, can I just get
my first badge?

I want to win money
for my charity.

That's what I really want.

Fuck.

- And as far as all this drama
about cliques and alliances,

I don't care.

I just don't care.

The winner of "RuPaul's
Drag Race All Stars"

receives a one-year supply

of Anastasia Beverly Hills
cosmetics,

a coveted spot in
the "Drag Race" Hall of Fame,

and a $200,000 donation

to the charity of their choice,

courtesy of The Palette Fund.

With extra-special guest judge
Alec Mapa.

- Yes!

My God.

Werk Room.

- This game has changed.
Three queens have two badges.

I'm not jealous at all.

I'm not.
I'm really not.

It's OK. It's fine.

It's fine.

- How are we feeling?
- Humbled.

- Hello, hello, hello.

- All right.

- Good morning, ladykins.

- Good morning!
- Hello!

Now, listen,
y'all been working so hard.

It's time to blow off
a little steam.

Ooh.

- I've invited over
some fun friends

over the hills and far away.

Teletubbies, come out to slay.

My God!

- Yes!

No way.

My God!

Teletubbies.

I used to watch
"Teletubbies" on the TV

when I was waiting on the
school bus when I was little.

Bitch, what?

- Say hello to Tinky Winky,
Dipsy, Laa-Laa, and Po.

Hi!

- Now the Teletubbies are
"Drag Race" superfans.

So for today's Mini Challenge,

I want you to show them
a good time

with a funky, old-fashioned
"Soul Train" dance-off.

My God.

- In the end, the All Star
with the best moves wins.

So go ahead and put on your
Teletubby tees, and let's go.

Queens, Teletubbies, boogie!

Better shake your
groove thing, Tinky Winky.

My God, so cute!

- Strike a pose, Dipsy.

- Wow.

- Yes.

- Hey.

- Laa-Laa,
put the bass in your walk.

- Come on, choreo.

- OK.

- Hey, hey, hey, hey

- Prance, Po.

Prance, I said.

Looking at the mirror.

- Whoa.

- Yeah.

- Teletubbies are icons.

And they're always showing up

at all the drag artistry events.

They are just
ride-or-die allies.

I cannot.

Work, mama.

- Grab my leg!

My God.

My God.

My God.

- Hey, hey.

My God.

- Is this
the Laa-Laa experience?

- Get it.
Get it.

Get it.
Get it.

- That one's spicy.

- Juicy, mother.

Juicy, mother.

Well, Teletubbies,
that was great.

So much fun.

- And, All Stars, you were all
out of this world.

- Thank you.

- But one of you really
teleported us to Mars.

Condragulations, Gottmik.

You've won a $2,500 donation
to your charity,

Trans Lifeline.

- Yay.

Thanks, guys.

Courtesy of the Teletubbies.

- Yes.

Love you, guys.

My grand total right now,

I have raised $22,500
for my charity.

Trans Lifeline, hello.

We have more cash for you.

- Teletubbies, thank you all
for prancing with us today.

Bye!

- Love you!

- Goodbye.

- Miss you.

- Do a flip.

- All Stars, do you know
what drag queens

and real estate agents
have in common?

They could use their charisma,
uniqueness, nerve,

and talent to sell anything.

- Yep.
- And I do mean anything.

And now it's time
for you to bring

the realness to real estate.

For this week's
All Star Challenge,

working in pairs,

you need to drag up
real estate commercials

for some of the most
unique properties on Earth.

And as the she-EO of
RuCo Properties International,

I've made an executive decision.

Angeria, you've been cut off
twice this season.

But with great setbacks
come great opportunities.

This week, I want you
to choose your team partner

and pair up the other queens.

- Wow.
- What?

- Wow.

- Work.

- I'm a little nervous,
especially since I cut her off.

Please pick somebody
that's good for me, girl.

- Angeria, who do you choose
for your partner?

- I want to choose somebody
that I already know

that I have chemistry with.

- Come on, Angie and Vanjie.

- Yeah, she did cut me off.

But all can be forgiven because
I got a challenge to win.

Vanj and Angie, see,
that sound good, bitch.

That's like a future sitcom
or something.

- So, Angie,
who do you pair next?

Jorgeous...

- And Mik.

OK.

That's gonna be cute.

So Gottmik did cut me off
two weeks ago.

And, girl, I need
to get my lick back.

But she gets a pass this week.

It's not the forever pass,
most definitely not.

- Shannel and Nina.

- OK. We got that.

- That means
Roxxxy and Plastique...

- My queen.

- Are a pair.

- I did a great job
partnering up the girls

to be with somebody that I know

that they can work well with,

because, you know, this season
is all about charity.

And I'm being
very charitable, OK?

- All right, now let me tell you

about the real estate market
I need you to bust wide open.

- First, the icy arctic circle.

- Ooh.

- Gorgeous location.

Second, the Old West town
of Tumbleweed, Texas.

And the gator-friendly
Florida Everglades.

And last but not least,

the bewitching community

of Salem, Massachusetts.

- Ooh.
- Ooh, witch.

Now, I'll leave the property
portfolios with you

so you can choose
amongst yourselves.

Later today, you'll shoot
your property packages

with the help of style superstar

Carson Kressley and, from
"Million Dollar Listing LA,"

Tracy Tutor.

All Stars, start your engines.

And may the best drag queen win.

Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

- For this week's
Maxi Challenge,

we are channeling
drag real estate brokers

and creating hilarious
realtor commercials.

- What's that?
Frosty Bits?

- Alaska.
- You're Salem.

- I like Salem.

- We are picking
from Frosty Bits, Alaska;

Gator Glades, Florida;
Tumbleweed, Texas;

and Salem, Massachusetts.

- Gator Glade, Florida.

- I recognize this place before.

- I'm thinking we need to do
Florida, Gator Glades.

I'm from Florida.

I already know
the hillbilly trailer park

kind of people that live
in Florida by the swamp

that cook gator possum.

I feel like we could channel
those people down.

- One of my top picks
would be Salem.

- OK.
- Yeah.

- I think we want
Frosty Bits, Alaska.

- So y'all can have Icy.

Y'all can have Salem.
- Yep.

- My top pick would be...
- The Gator Glades.

- The Gator Glades.

- So what's our number one?

I feel like
doing a country accent today.

So I feel like Gator.

- I don't like fighting,
so I'll take whatever.

- So then let's get Gator Glade.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, let's do it.
- Let's do it.

- Let's do it.

And we're gonna do

the Tumbleweed, Texas.

You're from Texas.

She's like...
- Not originally,

but I'm feeling excited.

- Mama, that Southern accent,

ooh, keep practicing
just a little bit.

- So let's think
of the funniest igloo

we could ever think of.

OK.

I definitely feel
like I've gotten

more comfortable
with comedy this season.

I'll give you
the sweet Amber ass.

But I know I could do better.

And I'm on the team
with Gottmik.

And this bitch is hilarious.

So I'm really hoping
that this week,

I can finally knock it
out of the park.

Since it's, like, Frosty Bits,
we should do frosty tits.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.

- Sitting by a random ice hole
while fish look at you.

There was, like,
another one you just said

that was, like, funny.
- Ooh.

Um...

Brain fart.

I should just write it all
over again because I'm...

I'm jumping from page to page.

- Girl, OK, I am not
the most organized.

Jorgeous, my stoner
little diva of life,

never has any idea
what's going on.

And together, not as
streamlined as I would love.

But we're going to get there.

Put that down, too, so we don't
forget 'cause we def will.

Yes, we definitely will.

- Forgot it now.

- We need to get to the finish
line, streamline this, focus.

- This is a good pen.
- I was thinking that, too.

- It's a good pen.
It's a good-ass pen.

Like, if we're
gonna really lean into Salem,

we have to go, like, Gothic.

I don't know why I'm whispering.

- Typically, I don't write.
- I do.

- Yeah, I don't write.
- This is, like...

This is what I do.

- I love that I got
paired with Nina.

And I know that people
thought that

we'd made some sort
of an alliance.

But I'm over it.

We really are a great team.

And we gonna sell
this fucking house to you.

This is very witchy.

But hang on.

- While you do that,
I'm gonna continue to write,

honey, because we don't have
a ton of time.

We're handed a folder,
and it says,

tell us about your property.

Tell us about the kind of buyer

who's gonna buy this house.

And Shannel thinks
immediately to,

what are we gonna wear?

And that doesn't get
words on the page.

- So I know...
- You're from Florida.

- I feel like we should do
very stereotypical, like,

trailer park trash Florida,

black out some teeth, very nice.

Angie picking me after,
you know, the whole

snip, snip situation,
I'm gagged,

but I know she's funny.

I feel like we could
act a fool together.

I think we're gonna be good.

No, but we could be...

- We could be, like, cousins
and sisters-in-law

or something.
- Keep it in the family.

That's the slogan.

Keep it in the family.

- I'm actually really, really
confident in everything

that me and Vanjie
are planning right now,

because even though we have
no training in selling

no houses or real estate
or nothing like that, bitch,

we do know how to be funny.

- It's a step above a shack.

A shack-teau.

- A shack-teau.
There it go.

- Even if I can't get
a badge, bitch,

Angie gotta be in the top two,
because I swear,

if I get cut off a third time,
bitch, I'm taking them snippers

and I'm cutting some
lace fronts or something, girl,

'cause damn.

Swamp Pussy Realty.

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well...

Let's get to the nitty-gritty.

Yes.

I'm so excited to work with you.

- I think it was
paired perfectly.

And I feel like this week,
we're stepping out

of our complete comfort zone.

Like, that's what our plan is,
show that we can let loose...

- Aw.
- And be stupid.

- Me and Roxxxy are the dolls.

And we're known for making
outfits, looking cunt.

But this week,
the two dolls have to be

the queens of comedy.

And we're here to do it.

Mary J, I love
this house so much.

- You want to know why?

- Here's the thing... is theirs

is, like, real similar to ours.

They're over there blacking out
teeth and stuff like that.

And I'm like, damn, bitch.

Shit.

Plastique and Roxxxy
have decided

to be hillbillies as well.

So I'm freaking out, because if
you're doing the same character

as somebody else
and they do exceptionally well,

it's only gonna kind of make
yours look worse.

- Well, hello, queens.

- Hello.
- Welcome.

- How are you?
- Hello.

- So cheerful.

Look at you kids.

- It's time to film our
real estate commercials

with Carson Kressley
and real estate superstar

Tracy Tutor.

- This is Tracy Tutor...

- Hi, Tracy.
- Pleasure.

- From "Million Dollar
Listing LA."

And she's going to be our
real estate guru of the day.

- Honey, Shannel and I are
ready to eat your soul

and serve you up an incredible

13,000-square-foot
haunted estate.

- Tell us a little bit
about your company.

Give us the setup.

- We're dead and pretty.

So together, Pretty Dead Realty.

- Love it.

You probably have some words
of wisdom for our queens.

- Yes, lean into it,
leave the fear at the door,

and just really be confident
in your salability.

- Thank you.
- I mean,

if you're not buying it,
we're not buying it.

So...

All right, well, take us away.

Let's see what
you've got to sell.

And action.

- Well, hello, there.

And welcome to sunny
Salem, Oregon.

I said Oregon.

- There's one there, too.

I'm worried about my partner.

I wish we would have
gone through the script

a couple more times.

But Shannel was really
focused on the costumes.

- Shannel, you're in reverse.

- It's her first day.

- Located
at 666 Ravenswood Corner.

There's no better time
to buy than right now.

- Fantastic.

We can just keep going.

And action.

- The home features
a grand foyer

with peeling paint
and crumbling tiles.

Now, talk about shabby chic.

Cut.

- There is a lot
of "real estate talk"

that we have to memorize
in this script that we did.

But me being a Las Vegas
showgirl, I'm always prepared.

So let's do this shit.

Salem is a hot market.

- A deluxe chef's kitchen.

- A fully furnished basement.

- Motivated
and terrified seller.

- Turnkey property.

You can't put a price on luxury.

- Your real estate knowledge
is, like, baffling.

You guys could sell
real estate in LA.

- Thank you.

- Well, hello, ladies.

- How you doing?

- Tell us about you two gals,
Sara Jo and Becky Sue.

- Well, we're from
the Gator Glades.

She is my cousin
and my sister-in-law.

- I'm really...

- I'm still doing the math.

- I'm still doing
the math myself.

- OK.
- Action.

- When you gotta go
to the bathroom,

it's only a boat ride
across the swamp.

We advise you not to go
after 7:00 PM.

That's how
we lost Uncle Raydell.

- Cut.

- I'm dead.

You're very authentic
to the neighborhood.

You clearly sell the swamp.

The branding is on point.

- I love the ciggy in the mouth.

That's a great prop.

And action.

- Come see us at...

Swamp Pussy Realty,
where we keep it in the family.

- Get it, get it, get it.

Keep it in the family
Get it, get it, get it.

- Yes.
- I love the dance.

- Perfection.

- Quite a creative name
for the brokerage.

- I like it.

- Honey, ain't nobody do country

better than Vanje and Angie.

So, Roxxxy and Plastique,
bring it on, bitch.

Bring it on.

Swamp Pussy Realty.

Hey, follow that, bitches!

- Tell us your name.

And where do you guys work?

- I'm Mary Jo.

- And I'm Betty Jo.

- We work at Keepa Cummins...
- Real Estate.

- Are you pregnant
or just too much beer?

- Nine months later,
I'm still wondering.

It's a medical mystery.
- OK.

- I'm playing Mary Jo,
Betty Jo's older sister.

She's not smart, but definitely
is running the company.

- And action.

- Population in
Tumbleweed is rising.

- Great.

- Tina Turner,
Mary Jo Keppa Cummins.

- Hey, listen,
I'm the brains and she's

the complete wild child
in this little duo.

This property is
a must-see exclusive.

- You're killing it.

Just stay in it
and keep going for it.

- So Plastique needs to go
full out to make this work.

- Don't let this
opportunity pass you by.

- Plastique,
let's do that again.

Just, like, a little
more enthusiastic.

- Lean into it.

Be fearless.
- OK.

Bigger.

- Don't let this
opportunity pass you by.

- Cut.
Let's go back.

Just enunciate a little more.

I think the accent's
getting a little funky.

Reset.

Let's get this badge
for charity.

I have faith in my heart
that I'm more than just

a pretty face.

I'm determined to be
a comedy queen.

So I'm like, OK,
I need to let loose,

just go out there,
and go berserk.

It includes an open floor plan.

- Do you have a criminal record?

- Who cares?

- I cannot.

- The face. I can't.
- Yes!

- My queen.

- Tell us about
where you're selling,

what's your region.

- Our region is
the Frosty Bits, Alaska.

We flip homes, and we flip fuck.

My goodness.

OK.
- Yes.

- One question.
- Yes.

- What is flip fucking?

See, and this goes here,
and then that.

And then they flip it and...

- Yes.
- Got it.

- Yes.
- It's an educational program.

- Learning every day.
- Yeah.

- Shall we do your commercial?

- I would love to.
- Let's do it.

- All right.
- Great.

- Action.

My God.

It's so hot in here.

I need to get out of here now.

- Cut.

- And then this
is when I change.

- OK.
And action.

- As top real estate
moguls have said...

- Sorry.
- Fuck, I'm so sorry.

- Let's cut.

- OK. I'm sorry.

- So you're doing that line,
Jorgeous, right?

- Did you want to...
- Do you want to switch it?

- Yeah, we can switch.
- OK.

- Who's doing this first line?

- I'll start.

And then you want to do the hos?

- Yeah. Yeah.

- And action.

- It's... it's cozy...
- Cozy.

- For the hos
that never get cold.

- And cut.

- Make sure that
you two each are clear

on which line is whose.

- When we were writing it,
we weren't really sure

who was going to say what.

So we were just gonna
take turns.

- I... we're gonna...
I think we're gonna switch it.

- Honestly, looking back,

I don't think that was
the best idea.

My God. OK.

- Hurry up, bitch. OK.

- And cut.

I think we're good.

Are you guys happy
with everything?

- We love it.
- Yeah, I'm so excited.

- We love it.

- Ew.

- This one wasn't
as prepared or organized.

- Fair. That's fair.

- Whoo-whee!

- Straight to getting ready.

- Keep it in the family.
- Do it.

- I love drag.
- Whoo!

- Drag is my favorite.

Today we are getting
ready to present

our realtor commercials.

And even though it took
a minute to get

in the swing of things,
in my spirit, I feel like me

and Gottmik did a really good
job in the end, you know.

And I can't wait to see
how it turns out.

- Do you feel like
this could be the week

to get your first badge, girl?

- I thought maybe last week
was gonna be the week.

- Yeah.
- But you know what?

I mean, who knows?

- I honestly have to thank you

for putting us together
because...

Thank you.

- Because we brought our
strengths to the table.

- Yeah. We did the damn thing.
- OK.

I hope that Shannel and I are
in the top two this week.

I haven't won a dime
for Trevor Project yet.

And that's frustrating.

I need to bank some money
for my charity.

- My queen.
- My queen.

- I feel like we did so good.

Afterwards, I was just feeling,
like, so accomplished with you.

And they gave us
such good feedback.

- We really stepped
outside of our box.

- Yeah.

- Of course I want to win
another badge this week.

But if I have to snip
somebody and cut them off,

I honestly don't even know
who I would pick.

I already cut off Angie.
It was an eye for an eye.

So, at this point, it would be
a difficult decision.

- I did notice that
Vanjie and Angie

were kind of dressed similar.

- They were very country.

You know,
I'm from Florida, girl.

They don't have really Southern
accents in Florida at all.

- What happened with Florida?

- Florida is not known
for being country.

- And we were talking
about how we kind of

had, like, the same outfit on.

- Right. Not about y'all
talking about everybody else.

Here she go.

- Well, I'm saying, why are
you talking about Florida?

- 'Cause I'm from Florida.

Florida is, like,
the most Southern state,

but we're not going
around honky-tonky.

- Well, y'all did Texas.

Instead of talking about y'all,

y'all comparing y'all's to ours.

- Well, someone got defensive.

- Here go Roxxxy
with the undercover shade.

Girl, fuck that.

I'm from Saint Cloud, Florida.

There is country,
redneck, trailer park.

- OK.

- I don't know why they
even talking about Florida.

Didn't they do Texas?

- Girl, one week
without her being in my team,

she's against me.

- In order to put themselves
up, they have to, like,

talk about everybody else's.

- Just let them
because you slayed, I'm sure.

- Anyway, I'm not even
going to talk about it.

- What was that about?
- Don't care.

- Shit's getting gaggy.

- Angeria, if you win today,
even though you're cut off,

who would you cut off?

- If I'm being honest,
I've been cut off twice.

I've been cut off the most.

So I feel like I have
a few people in mind.

Perhaps one of the people
that cut me.

- But would it be out of spite?

- Well, you know what?

Coincidentally, those people
do have the most badges.

So they are still threats to me.

- We both are targets.

- Yeah.

We both have two badges.

Me, you, and Roxxxy,
definitely targets.

- Vanjie, you know we weren't...

I was just talking
about Florida.

Probably.

- It had nothing to do
with your team

or any of that because I'm not
here to do that shit.

And you should know better.

- Girl, I get annoyed.

Honey, I'm passionate.
I'm Puerto Rican.

I'm like, bitch,
if I hear something,

I'm gonna say something.

But I don't want to put too
much of a target on myself.

So I'm gonna try
to keep my mouth shut

and shut the fuck up and stop
arguing with everybody.

- But it is what it is.

You should just know me
better than that.

- What is this competition
turning us into, you guys?

My God.

Shut up.

Please stop fighting.

- Come on, flower power.

Come on.

- Welcome to the main stage

of "RuPaul's Drag Race
All Stars."

The star of
"Selling South Plainfield,"

Michelle Visage.

- Hey, Ru, what is
a real estate agent's

favorite type of music?

- I don't know.

- House music.

- The host of "Love It or
Fist It," Carson Kressley.

Hey, Ru, what kind
of monster eats houses?

- I don't know.

- Godzillow.

- And the host
of "This Old Whore,"

the fantastic Alec Mapa.

- Hey, Ru, what do you call
a pirate who designs houses?

- I don't know.

- An arr-chitect.

- This week,
we challenged our queens

to drag up
hot property packages.

And tonight on the runway,

category is Day to Night Ruveal.

All Stars, start your engines.

And may the best drag queen win.

Category is Day to Night Ruveal.

Up first, Nina West.

Maria, the nunnery isn't
to be used as a sanctuary.

What is it you can't face?

- I am a nun by day

and showgirl at night.

She's kicking the habit.

- Yes, she is.

- In the True Nina West style,

it's a dress with a message.

I'm taking on an institution
that has often criminalized

and crippled our community.

And this is truly who I am.

It's an outfit with a statement.

- Are you there, God?

It's me, Nina West.

Up next, Shannel.

- Ooh, Shannel is on the case.

Wow.

- I am the number-one
executive at RuPaul's Studios.

Now it's time
for the evening gala.

- Drop it like it's red hot.

- And I look stupidly gorgeous.

I feel like a million bucks.

- She's off to her night job
at "Deal or No Deal."

Up next, Plastique Tiara.

- Wow.
- Ooh.

- Come on, full geish.

- I am this beautiful
glamorous geisha.

- I want in
on her forbidden city.

- But then, boom,
Plastique Chromatica.

- Wow.

- From geisha to samurai
in one simple change.

- Yeah.
- Wow.

- It's giving AI.

It's giving Gaul.

It's giving dangerous.

It's giving artificial fashion.

- She has a point.

Actually, two of them.

- Yes.

Up next, Roxxxy Andrews.

- You know, on a clear day,
you can see Pacoima.

- She is a '50s
housewife doll, honey.

And, baby, this doll
is full of surprises.

- It's Doris Day to night.

- Wow.

- Once again, I made
this outfit myself.

It's just something
I take such pride in.

I'm an All Star.

And this is why I'm here.

- If she doesn't win,
she should definitely

get the constellation prize.

- Yeah.

Up next, Gottmik.
- Ooh.

- Suited and booted.

- I am just
the most basic, normal,

everyday 9:00-to-5:00 man.

- Victor/Victoria's Secret.

- Peekaboo, gorg.

This business womana
has assets, honey.

- She's got a head for
business and an ass for sin.

Up next, Jorgeous.

- "Sex and the City."

- For my day to night Ruveal,
I'm living my '70s fantasy.

I'm wearing this
sickening white dress,

just being cutesy-bootsy.

And then when it comes
nighttime, it's a disco mama.

This girl has
spun out of control.

- Welcome
to the Fringe Festival.

- Bitch, I'm feeling
so sickening.

My body's all golden.

And I feel very '70s.

- Come on, "Solid Gold" dancer.
- Yes.

- Up next,
Angeria Paris VanMicheals.

- Ooh.
- Yes.

- Yes, it's an Erykah Badu,
not an Erykah ba-don't.

- I am sauntering
down the runway, OK?

I am feeling my oats and
revealing to a beautiful gown.

Well, the cat's
out of the bag now.

- Definitely.
- Ooh.

- Hairpiece, check.

Beautiful gown, check.

Mug, check.

I feel like the ultimate
motherfucking drag goddess.

- Now if she'd only
shaved the other arm.

Up next is Vanjie.

- Ooh.
- Aw.

- Ooh, she makes
a very pretty woman.

Yeah.

- I'm bringing you the ultimate

romantic movie,
"Pretty Woman."

- Big mistake.
- Huge.

Huge.

- I'm looking expensive
with my little shopping bag.

- This ain't her first
Rodeo Drive.

- No.

- Now it's time for my date.

And I got my little red gown,
just like Julia Roberts.

- Looking like old, rich money.

The around-the-way girl's
moving up.

- Don't forget,
she doesn't kiss on the lips.

Welcome, queens.

Let's look at your
hot property packages.

First up, Nina and Shannel.

Pretty Dead Realty.

- Hi, there,
and welcome to sunny Salem.

My name is Cassandra Karloff.

- And I'm Yvonne Gracie Tombs.

- Ghoul friends,
Salem is a town like no other.

- And you can't beat
the weather.

Seasonal depression?

We've got it.

And these home deals
will have you screaming.

- Built during the height
of the Salem Witch trials...

- This charming estate

has a very motivated
and terrified seller

ready to make a deal
with the Devil and you.

Could you just die?

- And you may have to,
to get in on this deal.

The home features a grand foyer

with peeling paint
and crumbling tiles.

Now, talk about shabby chic.

Also, a deluxe chef's kitchen
complete with a walk-in oven

and giant meat locker.

- It also has a ballroom
with its very own piano,

played 24 hours a day
by, of course,

the ghost of Liberace!

- Follow the dark, winding road

to your very own
four-car garage,

perfect for when
she already done had herses,

for his and her hearses.

- Now, sure, you can't put
a price on luxury.

But we'll sell it
for a simple price of...

Your soul.

- What a deal!

Pretty Dead Realty.

We know how to nail 'em
in Salem.

- Up next, Plastique and Roxxxy.

Keepa Cummins Real Estate.

Let's take a look.

- Hi.

I'm Mary Jo.

- And I'm Betty Jo.

- From the Keepa Cummins
Real Estate

in Tumbleweed, Texas...

'cause once you come...

- You can't help
but keepa cummin'.

- Do you have no credit?

- Who cares?

- Do you have a criminal record?

- Who cares?

- Just give us
your Social Security number

and your mother's maiden name,
and we'll do the rest.

- I live!

- Act now to get this here
one-of-a-kind home.

- For a small price
of two mules and one donkey.

- This here is your
future humble abode.

Well, there it is.

- It includes
an open floor plan.

- It's as open
as Betty Jo's legs

at the saloon's second stall
on a Wednesday night.

- Mary Jo.

Where's the lie?

- You might be asking yourself,
how many bathrooms?

- Well, none.

- But what you do get
is this here outhouse,

where you can be...

- Why should you
live here, you ask?

- Well, that's
a stupid question.

Why not?

Don't forget.
I'm Mary Jo.

- And I'm Betty Jo.

From the Keepa Cummins
Real Estate.

- 'Cause once you come...

- You just can't help
but keepa cummin'.

Y'all come back now, you hear?

My God.

Up next, Gottmik and Jorgeous.

Cher & Tiff Real Estate.

Take a look.

- Is this you?

- My God.
- It's so hot in here.

Somebody help me, please.

- Well, do we have
the property for you.

- Hi.

I'm Cheryl Lynn.

- And I'm Tiffany.

- And we're from
Cher & Tiff Real Estate.

- We're sisters who flip homes
and flip fuck.

- We are in Frosty Tits, Alaska.

- Girl, it's Bits.

Whatever.

You can get this spacious igloo
for the cool price of...

a bag of ice.

- You may say, "it's just ice."

But this location has it all.

- Relaxing outdoor plunge pools.

Ooh.

- Outdoor plumbing with a view.

Wow.

- Unpredictable stairs.

- Whoa.

- Hope you have insurance.

- Fabulous
ground transportation.

- What better way to get
some head than on a sled?

Hurry up, bitch.

I got some dick to suck.

Mush, mush, mush, bitch.

- Have you ever wanted
to sit by a big hole

while fish stare at you?

- Literally all the time!

- Well, you should move
to Frosty Tits.

- Girl, it's Bits.

Now get out there
and go flip fuck.

- Ooh, child.

And last but not least,
Angie and Vanjie.

Swamp Pussy Realty.

Take a look.

- Are you a retired Republican?

- And are you
looking for somewhere

to spend your last days?

- Well, look no further.

- I'm Sara Jo.

And this is my cousin,
Becky Sue.

- And I'm also
her sister-in-law.

- And together, we are...

Swamp Pussy Realty.

- Where we keep it
in the family.

- You will love living here
at Gator Glades.

We're a growing population
of 36 people.

They're all related.

- It's always super-duper hot.

And the best part...

Ain't no gay people.

- If all this
sounds good to you,

then today is your lucky day

because we have a property
that's ready right now.

- It's not a shack.

- It's not a chateau.

- It's a...
- Shack-teau.

- See what we did there?
All right.

This lovely, spacious
100-square-foot home

has an air mattress that was
owned by the previous owner.

Sorry.

And a lovely mosquito net.

Now, ain't that fancy?

- And when you gotta go
to the bathroom,

it's only a boat ride
across the swamp.

We advise you not
to go after 7:00 PM.

- That's how we lost
Uncle Raydell.

Let's pour one out for him.

- Big one.
- Do a big one.

- Hey, got to pour out a lot.
- Big old boy.

Yeah.

- Damn.

- Left me hanging, this man.

- This cozy shack-teau is
on the market for the low,

low price of $300
and a pack of cigs.

- So don't you wait.

Come get it today
and come see us at...

Swamp Pussy Realty,
where we keep it in the family.

- Keep it in the family.

- Keep it in the family.
- Keep it in the family.

- Keep it in the family.

- Keep it in the family.
- Keep it in the family.

My gosh.

Welcome back, All Stars.

Tonight I'll name the top
two All Stars of the week.

Each will receive
a Beautiful Benefactress Badge.

Time for the judges' critiques.

Let's start with
Nina West and Shannel.

- First of all,
I love real estate.

Zillow is my porn,
so I was really into this.

You guys really embraced the
whole real estate of it all.

The writing was so delicious.

And you were so fun to direct.

- You're both such
great entertainers.

And you really brought
that to this challenge.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

- Shannel, your runway was
super fabulous and glamorous,

as Shannel always is.

- Appreciate that.

- What you do so well
is presentation.

And I think the way
you presented

this look on the runway
was at the very top.

- Thank you.

- Nina, you always have a theme.

You followed it through,
from your Flying Nun

to your stained glass

to your "God is a drag queen"
moment.

It was fun and camp
and adorable, as always.

The only thing
that would've made this

a little bit better was,

you didn't need the things
on your shoes.

- Totally agree.

- Next up is
Plastique and Roxxxy.

- This is the comedy duo
that I didn't know I needed.

You were so funny together.

Roxxxy, I love queens who are
not afraid of looking stupid.

I mean, you just went there

with a Tina Turner wig
and a blacked-out tooth.

You had a good time.

You looked amazing.

You were the straight guy
to her foil.

- Plastique, I was so
blown away by what you did.

I was so proud of you for
allowing yourself to get ugly

and to get crunchy
and to have fun.

- Thank you.

- These runway looks,
I mean, Roxxxy,

you gave us literally,
like, daytime to evening,

such a chic look.

And the print is all very,
like, Dolce & Gabbana to me.

It's just gorgeous.
- Thank you.

- Roxxxy, did you make
this outfit?

- Yes, ma'am.

It's just so beautiful.

- And then, Plastique, this was
an extravaganza of glamour.

The purple number had such flow
and such drama on the stage.

And then you gave us
the total opposite of that,

this pared-down, warrior,
modern-armor bodysuit.

- I love those knives.

I didn't know
whether you were gonna

cut a bitch or open your mail.

- Boy, did I laugh out loud.

So funny and so unexpected
from Ms. Plastique.

This was a tour de force.

This was outrageous.

- Thank you, ladies.
- Thank you so much.

- Up next, Jorgeous and Gottmik.

- Originally, you started out
as the flip fuckers.

And I was like,
flip fucker, I'm in.

But then I didn't feel like it
went anywhere past that.

Having said that, you were both
so confident in your delivery.

Gottmik, you were so theatrical.

- Jorgeous, I loved
your wardrobe changes.

I thought you embraced
the character.

I just think you could go
even further.

- You two were
adorable together.

It's just comparatively of how
ridiculous these kids were,

you need to just take
the caliber of it

to the stratosphere.

- Absolutely.
- 100%.

- But the runway looks,
Gottmik, I think we all were,

as the kids say, gagged and
gooped when you turned around.

And that's what
a Ruveal is all about.

- Jorgeous,
this look is so adorable.

- Thank you.

- Where you're going in
the daytime in the first look,

I have no idea.

But you're certainly somebody

who I would hang out with
during the day.

Absolutely dynamic.

- Jorgeous, are you feeling
some kind of way?

Yes, I just, like...

I just feel like I keep
on letting you down

and, like...

- Jorgeous, you killed it.

- Just so embarrassed.
Like...

- No, you literally did so good.

- What are you talking about?
- Sorry.

- You don't have to apologize.

Part of this process
is to break down

and then to build back up.

But we're here to tell you
that you have it.

You've got it.

You know, every time I see you
do that thing with your hands

where you go like this,
that is fucking hilarious.

You know, Jorgeous,
in drag, out of drag,

you are gay, gay, gay,
gay, gay, gay, gay.

And so, if you were to play
someone really butch...

- Like a foreman
on a construction site?

- Yes.
- Right.

- You'd be doing all
of this and this.

And what's the other thing?

You do this.
Yeah.

That would be
so hilarious for you.

That is where your comedy lies.

- Thank you, Ru.
Thank you, guys.

- Thank you.
Thank you.

Up next,
Angeria and Ms. Vanjie.

- Well, Swamp Pussy Realty,
I don't know

if your pussies were on fire,
but they were very muggy.

And I enjoyed it.

- What I liked about you two,
you went in.

You leaned heavy on the stupid.

It was funny...
Hillbillies, check...

And yet different
from Plastique and Roxxxy.

- Angeria, there's a warmth
in you that just comes out.

And you have that genuine
country voice

that really served you well
in this.

- Vanjie, when you act
or do improvs,

you feel the need
to put on a voice.

- I'm not putting on a voice.
That's my voice.

- No.

- Today is your lucky day.

You go...

And it kills me every time.

- It's so distinctive.

And it's a billion-dollar asset.

And, Vanjie,
the Julia Roberts references

on the runway were so spot-on.

Dressing like this shows off
a different, elegant side

of you that's really exciting.

Our little
Vanjie is growed all up.

She's a pretty woman now.

- Angeria,
I love a mixed pattern.

But this is three patterns
in a row.

So I almost wish
that turban part was black.

Michelle's
right about the headband.

I can forgive that
because everything there is

just so gorgeous, so elegant.

- And you are such a pro
at selling the garment.

When you presented this,
it just flowed so beautifully.

And it has glamour
and sophistication.

- Thank you.

- Love it, love it, love it.
- Thank you, mama.

- Thank you, All Stars.
I think we've heard enough.

While you untuck backstage,

the judges and I
will deliberate.

You may leave the stage.

- Thank you.
- Bye.

Thank you.

- Now we need to choose the top
two All Stars of the week.

Now, just between us squirrel
friends, what do you think?

- Nina and Shannel
as Pretty Dead Realty

stood out for me because they
were playing with the macabre.

They were giving us
"The Addams Family,"

"The Munsters."

I thought it was really hokey
and really funny.

- You know, I agree that the
concept was well thought out.

But I felt they kept hitting
the same note.

How many macabre, dead-people
jokes can I get in there?

- More!

- I felt like I was
watching a TV pilot

for "Bring Back My Ghouls."

It was beautiful.

Yes.

- The performance
was "spooktacular."

And then their runway
looks, I like them.

They're not my favorite
of the night.

- Yeah, yeah.

I laughed out loud
at Plastique and Roxxxy.

I thought they were hilarious
and really unexpected

because of Plastique's
magnanimous performance.

- And their runway looks
were unbeatable tonight.

- Both the creations that
Plastique wore were beyond.

- The fact that Roxxxy made
that outfit, that it was

reversible, unbelievable.

- Angeria and Vanjie, they were
both so much fun on the runway

and in their sketch.

- Their chemistry together,
so great.

And the concept they came up
with was... it was perfect.

- Vanjie was giving us,
you know,

elegant "Pretty Woman."

And that range is exactly
what you hope to see

when someone comes back
to "All Stars."

- I love Angeria.

I love how she works
that runway.

- I thought the dress was great.

And I thought the presentation
was even better.

- All right, silence.

I've made my decision.

Bring back my All Stars.

Welcome back, All Stars.

Based on your
hot property packages

and your day-to-night
runway presentations,

I've made some decisions.

The top two All Stars
of the week are...

Plastique...

And Roxxxy Andrews.

Shut the fuck up!

- I love you.
I love you.

- Condragulations.
- Thank you.

Thank you.
Thank you.

- You've each earned
a Beautiful Benefactress Badge.

And you're both one step closer

to winning
the $200,000 grand prize

for your charity.

- Thank you so much.

- Ladykins, the rest of you
can take a seat.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

- Thank you.

- Have fun, bitches.

- What?
- My queen.

- Two All Stars stand before me.

Ladies, this is your chance
to impress me,

win $10,000 for your charity,

and earn the power
to cut off one

of your fellow queens
from receiving

a Beautiful Benefactress Badge
next week.

The time has come for you

to lip-synch for your charity!

- It's the Battle of the Dolls.

And, bitch, I'm excited.

Yes, I want to get some coin

for The Asian American
Foundation.

I haven't won any money
for my charity yet.

- Good luck.

And don't fuck it up.

- Come on!

- Whoo!

- Yeah. Hammer time.

- Come on.

- Come on, Plastique, Roxxxy!

- Yes!

- Yes, gorg!

- All Stars,
I've made my decision.

Roxxxy Andrews, condragulations.

You're a winner, baby.

- Whoo!

- No.

- You've won
a cash tip of $10,000

for your charity,
Miracle of Love.

- Thank you.

- Plastique, you are free
to slay another day.

- Damn.

No lip-sync wins yet.

But you know what?

Roxxxy Andrews is an
undefeated lip-sync assassin,

which makes me feel
a little bit better.

- All Stars,
please join Roxxxy onstage.

Roxxxy, with great power
comes great responsibility.

Using the ruby snippers,

you need to decide
which of your fellow queens

you'll cut off from receiving

a Beautiful Benefactress Badge
next week.

Roxxxy, which sister
will you scissor?

- Last week, I was just like,
OK, Angeria cut me.

So first chance I get,
I'm gonna cut her.

Easy breezy.

Eye for an eye.

Now that's done.

And I don't know
who I'm gonna snip.

It's completely breaking
my heart to have to do this.

Ru, I'm not gonna look
at anybody.

All I need to know is
where Nina is.

Ho, ho, ho!

Where's Nina?

- I'm at the end, girl.

I'm at the end.
I'm at the end.

- Keep going.
- I'll stop talking.

- Getting warmer.

- I honestly don't know
where y'all are.

- I'm sitting over here.
I'm over here.

- We're getting warmer.
Just keep going.

- I just gave her
a badge last week.

What would you like
for Christmas, Roxxxy?

- Keep going.

Please don't cut me off.

No, no.

No.

Go the other way.

- I don't know if I can do this.

But this is a part of the game.

So fuck it.

Wherever I land is
gonna be the girl.

- No, the other way, Roxxxy.

- You found her.
- Christmas is coming.

- No, no, no, back.

- Snip, snip, bitch.

My God.

- Is this bitch serious?

- Turn around.

- I don't want to.

- Who is it?

No, no, no, no, wait.

- Not your final answer?

- It's Angeria.

No, she just got cut.

I'm not cutting Angeria.
I'm not.

I don't fucking know, man.

- Cut someone!
Do it!

- Whatever I do,
somebody is gonna be mad.

- Well, probably
not as mad as Angeria.

You have five other choices.

- I'm... I'm sorry.

I just... just because
of badges, I'll...

I'll pick Mik.

I'm so sorry, Mik.

- It's OK.
Don't cry.

I'm taking this better
than Roxxxy, which is crazy.

Like, hello.

I'm the one cut off, honey.

It's OK.
I promise.

- Sorry.
- No, it's OK.

You did amazing.

- Don't get me wrong.
I'm pissed!

But right now
I'm an emotional-support queen.

Give me.

- It's OK.

It's OK.

- Gottmik, you have been
given the snip-snip.

- Yes.
- You know how this works.

Next week, you can compete
and even win.

But Roxxxy has cut you off

from earning
a Beautiful Benefactress Badge.

Condragulations, All Stars.

And please remember,
if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell you gonna love
somebody else?

Can I get an amen up in here?

Amen!

All right.

Now let the music play.

- Next time on "All Stars"...

- You knew where you were.

There is no way.
- No, I saw...

- You were like this.

You were like, it's Angeria?

- For this week's
Maxi Challenge,

you'll take turns
roasting each other

at the National Drag Convention.

- I hope nobody takes
things personal.

It's gonna be
really interesting.

Bitch, I'm going in.

- Please give a round
of applause for the cast

of "The Haunted Mansion."

Ooh.

- This is a roast!

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