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[***]
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00:00:07,901 --> 00:00:10,567
NARRATOR:
Newsreel of the Stars.
3
00:00:10,567 --> 00:00:14,033
Dateline: Hollywood, 1930.
The Warner Bros. Studio.
4
00:00:14,033 --> 00:00:16,434
Here at the studio's
new animation department,
5
00:00:16,434 --> 00:00:19,801
the artists toil endlessly
to come up with cartoon stars,
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00:00:19,801 --> 00:00:22,133
ultimately creating
three new characters,
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00:00:22,133 --> 00:00:25,133
the Warner brothers
and their sister, Dot.
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00:00:25,133 --> 00:00:27,801
WARNERS:
Hello, Nurse!
9
00:00:27,801 --> 00:00:31,567
Unfortunately, the Warner kids
were totally out of control.
10
00:00:31,567 --> 00:00:34,300
[IN UNISON]
Boingy, boingy, boingy, boingy.
11
00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:37,434
The trio ran amok
throughout the studio,
12
00:00:38,601 --> 00:00:40,501
until their capture.
13
00:00:40,501 --> 00:00:44,000
The Warners' films,
which made absolutely no sense,
14
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,834
were locked away
in the studio vault,
15
00:00:45,834 --> 00:00:47,934
never to be released.
16
00:00:47,934 --> 00:00:50,133
As for the Warners themselves,
17
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,434
they were locked away
in the studio water tower,
18
00:00:52,434 --> 00:00:55,167
also never to be released.
19
00:00:55,167 --> 00:00:57,934
Publicly, the studio has
disavowed any knowledge
20
00:00:57,934 --> 00:01:00,901
of the Warners' existence
to this very day
21
00:01:00,901 --> 00:01:02,868
when the Warners escaped.
22
00:01:02,868 --> 00:01:04,367
[***]
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00:01:04,367 --> 00:01:08,133
ALL:
* It's time for Animaniacs *
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00:01:08,133 --> 00:01:10,767
* And we're zany to the max *
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00:01:10,767 --> 00:01:12,534
* So just sit back and relax *
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00:01:12,534 --> 00:01:14,200
* You'll laugh
Till you collapse *
27
00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,601
* We're Animaniacs *
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00:01:16,601 --> 00:01:18,367
BOTH:
* Come join
The Warner brothers *
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00:01:18,367 --> 00:01:20,000
* And the Warner sister, Dot *
30
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:23,000
ALL:
* Just for fun we run around
The Warner movie lot *
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00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,701
* They lock us in the tower
Whenever we get caught *
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00:01:25,701 --> 00:01:27,400
* But we break loose
And then vamoose *
33
00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:28,601
* And now you know the plot *
34
00:01:28,601 --> 00:01:31,133
* We're Animaniacs *
35
00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:34,133
* Dot is cute and Yakko yaks *
36
00:01:34,133 --> 00:01:35,467
* Wakko packs away the snacks *
37
00:01:35,467 --> 00:01:37,133
* While Bill Clinton
Plays the sax *
38
00:01:37,133 --> 00:01:39,200
* We're Animaniacs *
39
00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:41,534
* Meet Pinky and the Brain *
40
00:01:41,534 --> 00:01:43,033
* Who want to rule
The universe *
41
00:01:43,033 --> 00:01:44,400
* Goodfeathers flock together *
42
00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:45,934
* Slappy whacks 'em
With her purse *
43
00:01:45,934 --> 00:01:47,267
* Buttons chases Mindy *
44
00:01:47,267 --> 00:01:48,801
* While Rita sings a verse *
45
00:01:48,801 --> 00:01:50,534
* The writers flipped
We have no script *
46
00:01:50,534 --> 00:01:51,701
* Why bother to rehearse? *
47
00:01:51,701 --> 00:01:54,467
* We're Animaniacs *
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00:01:54,467 --> 00:01:57,334
* We have pay-or-play
Contracts *
49
00:01:57,334 --> 00:01:58,734
* We're zany to the max *
50
00:01:58,734 --> 00:02:00,400
* There's bologna
In our slacks *
51
00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:01,968
* We're Animan-y *
52
00:02:01,968 --> 00:02:03,400
* Totally insane-y *
53
00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:04,868
* Here's the show's name-y *
54
00:02:04,868 --> 00:02:07,100
* Animaniacs *
55
00:02:07,100 --> 00:02:08,567
* Those are the facts *
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00:02:11,567 --> 00:02:13,567
[***]
57
00:02:17,300 --> 00:02:19,934
Sure, you may turn away
from me now,
58
00:02:19,934 --> 00:02:23,901
but as long as I keep drinking
my buttermilk,
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00:02:23,901 --> 00:02:25,300
I can count on growing up
60
00:02:25,300 --> 00:02:27,300
with a serious
lactose intolerance.
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00:02:27,300 --> 00:02:28,300
[BURPS]
62
00:02:28,300 --> 00:02:29,734
And even though
I won't be able
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00:02:29,734 --> 00:02:31,100
to digest the stuff,
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00:02:31,100 --> 00:02:33,734
I'm gonna keep drinkin'
my buttermilk.
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00:02:34,934 --> 00:02:37,167
'Cause it'll always
remind me of you
66
00:02:37,167 --> 00:02:40,868
and the way you snubbed me
when I was young and innocent.
67
00:02:40,868 --> 00:02:43,968
In fact, in later years,
I'll become downright obsessed
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00:02:43,968 --> 00:02:45,200
with that memory.
69
00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:48,167
Yeah, I'll spend years
trackin' you down.
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00:02:48,167 --> 00:02:49,467
And when I find ya,
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00:02:49,467 --> 00:02:51,767
I'll give you exactly
what you deserve,
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00:02:51,767 --> 00:02:55,067
you no-good, heartless,
half-witted yutz!
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00:02:59,801 --> 00:03:01,534
[LAUGHING]
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00:03:01,534 --> 00:03:04,300
ANNOUNCER:
Buttermilk,
it makes a body bitter.
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00:03:04,300 --> 00:03:06,667
Ah, what do you know?
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00:03:06,667 --> 00:03:08,667
[***]
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00:03:15,934 --> 00:03:19,000
And now, some sad news.
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00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:20,300
And now, some...
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00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:21,300
[SNIFFLES]
80
00:03:21,300 --> 00:03:22,934
...sad news.
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00:03:24,067 --> 00:03:26,300
Two minutes to airtime,
Mr. Anchorman.
82
00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:28,968
Quick, put some sincerity lines
around my eyes.
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00:03:28,968 --> 00:03:30,567
Where is that makeup man?
84
00:03:30,567 --> 00:03:31,601
[PANTING]
85
00:03:31,601 --> 00:03:33,601
Sorry I'm late, Mr. Anchorman.
86
00:03:33,601 --> 00:03:36,834
And now for some sad news.
87
00:03:36,834 --> 00:03:39,200
You're fired!
88
00:03:41,467 --> 00:03:43,834
All I ask for is a bit
of support.
89
00:03:43,834 --> 00:03:45,734
And what do I get?
Nothing!
90
00:03:47,100 --> 00:03:48,100
Do you have any idea
91
00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:50,667
how truly useless
you people are?
92
00:03:50,667 --> 00:03:54,501
I am surrounded
by untalented incompetents!
93
00:03:54,501 --> 00:03:57,033
Why are you all standing around
staring at me?
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00:03:57,033 --> 00:03:59,367
Do you have any idea
what time it is?
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00:03:59,367 --> 00:04:00,501
YAKKO:
Lunchtime.
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00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:01,934
Lunchtime?
97
00:04:03,501 --> 00:04:06,200
* We're from Sam 'N' Ella's
Coffee Shop *
98
00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,667
* Eat our food
And you're bound to drop *
99
00:04:08,667 --> 00:04:11,667
* Then the only thing
That's left to do *
100
00:04:11,667 --> 00:04:14,133
* Head to the potty
And spew, spew, spew *
101
00:04:14,133 --> 00:04:16,334
* Sam 'N' Ella's *
102
00:04:16,334 --> 00:04:18,300
We're Beatrice.
103
00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:21,501
I placed this order
hours ago.
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00:04:21,501 --> 00:04:23,067
Are you out
of your minds?
105
00:04:23,067 --> 00:04:24,467
No, but we're out
of our pickles.
106
00:04:24,467 --> 00:04:26,033
You'll have
to take coleslaw.
107
00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:28,300
Who has the tongue on a bun?
108
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:32,767
All right,
who's the ham on rye?
109
00:04:32,767 --> 00:04:33,868
That's me.
110
00:04:33,868 --> 00:04:36,467
Just remember you said that,
we didn't.
111
00:04:39,434 --> 00:04:41,968
I'm famished.
112
00:04:41,968 --> 00:04:44,501
How dare you take a bite
out of my sandwich?
113
00:04:44,501 --> 00:04:46,567
Want it back?
114
00:04:46,567 --> 00:04:48,234
Eww!
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00:04:49,901 --> 00:04:51,200
That'll be $6,
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00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:53,968
and remember it's customary
to tip 15 percent.
117
00:04:53,968 --> 00:04:57,234
You expect me to pay for this?
I didn't even get a sandwich.
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00:04:57,234 --> 00:04:59,300
Oh, I guess you're the turkey
on a roll.
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00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:00,334
[GOBBLING]
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00:05:02,367 --> 00:05:04,434
Get out, you horrible
little crustaceans.
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00:05:04,434 --> 00:05:06,167
Get out, get out,
get out!
122
00:05:06,167 --> 00:05:07,901
ALL:
Whoa!
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00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,801
Why, of all the nerve.
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00:05:14,801 --> 00:05:15,901
I'll say.
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00:05:15,901 --> 00:05:17,767
We never even got our tip.
126
00:05:21,467 --> 00:05:23,601
DIRECTOR:
Five, four, three.
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00:05:23,601 --> 00:05:25,267
We're on the air.
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00:05:25,267 --> 00:05:29,067
ANNOUNCER:
And now Newstime Live
with your cohosts
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00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:30,734
Dan Anchorman in New York
130
00:05:30,734 --> 00:05:33,501
and in Washington,
Doo-Anne Sewer.
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00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:35,667
Hi, I have
a new haircut.
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00:05:35,667 --> 00:05:36,834
[CHUCKLES]
133
00:05:36,834 --> 00:05:38,534
Lovely, Doo-Anne.
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00:05:38,534 --> 00:05:40,267
Tonight
on NewstimeLive
135
00:05:40,267 --> 00:05:41,968
I'll show you
the new American car
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00:05:41,968 --> 00:05:45,067
that costs under $300
and runs on water,
137
00:05:45,067 --> 00:05:48,100
and how to make a million
dollars without thinking.
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00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:49,734
[SCREAMS]
139
00:05:49,734 --> 00:05:54,033
Thrilling, Doo-Anne,
but first, my top story.
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00:05:54,033 --> 00:05:56,167
Protesters have blockaded
the entrance
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00:05:56,167 --> 00:05:58,200
to the Newstime Live studios--
142
00:05:58,200 --> 00:05:59,601
Hey, that's us!
143
00:05:59,601 --> 00:06:01,434
ALL:
Hey, hey, ho, ho!
144
00:06:01,434 --> 00:06:03,501
Cheapskate anchor's got to go!
145
00:06:03,501 --> 00:06:07,734
Hey, hey, ho, ho!
Cheapskate anchor's got to go!
146
00:06:07,734 --> 00:06:09,801
This is Wolf Spritzer reporting.
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00:06:09,801 --> 00:06:12,000
It appears that Dan Anchorman
didn't give
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00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:14,567
these sandwich-delivery
people a tip.
149
00:06:14,567 --> 00:06:16,000
We protest!
150
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,934
We protest that Dan Anchorman
wouldn't take coleslaw
151
00:06:18,934 --> 00:06:20,467
instead of pickles.
152
00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:22,701
Dan Anchorman discriminates
against garnishes.
153
00:06:22,701 --> 00:06:25,100
We protest that
he's a picky pickle picker.
154
00:06:25,100 --> 00:06:27,434
Say that three times fast.
155
00:06:27,434 --> 00:06:29,200
Picky pickle plicky--
156
00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:32,901
Uh, plick-- Plicky
puckle picker ple-- Plu--
157
00:06:32,901 --> 00:06:35,501
You'll never make it on CNN.
158
00:06:35,501 --> 00:06:36,801
This is absurd.
159
00:06:36,801 --> 00:06:38,934
I will not have
this broadcast interrupted
160
00:06:38,934 --> 00:06:40,434
by a bunch of little kids!
161
00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:42,834
We protest you calling us
little kids!
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00:06:42,834 --> 00:06:45,501
We prefer to be called
vertically impaired pre-adults.
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00:06:45,501 --> 00:06:47,133
I hate you! I hate you!
164
00:06:47,133 --> 00:06:48,734
I hate you!
165
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:51,367
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
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00:06:51,367 --> 00:06:53,601
We'll be right back
after this commercial.
167
00:06:53,601 --> 00:06:55,100
DOT:
We interrupt Newstime Live
168
00:06:55,100 --> 00:06:57,100
to bring you
this special report.
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00:06:57,100 --> 00:06:59,467
Our topic: Why people don't tip.
170
00:06:59,467 --> 00:07:02,634
For the answer, we turn
to William F. Yakkly.
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00:07:02,634 --> 00:07:05,567
And I think, uh, the reason,
uh, people do not affix
172
00:07:05,567 --> 00:07:07,367
a compensation for service--
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00:07:07,367 --> 00:07:09,133
In layman's terms, a tip.
174
00:07:09,133 --> 00:07:12,968
--is that they are,
in fact, extremely cheap.
175
00:07:12,968 --> 00:07:15,534
Would you say TV newsmen
are extremely cheap?
176
00:07:15,534 --> 00:07:19,801
No, except, of course,
for Mr. Dan Anchorman.
177
00:07:20,868 --> 00:07:23,767
You-- You are horrible little--!
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00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:27,133
Wonderful tykes.
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00:07:27,133 --> 00:07:30,300
I see I haven't appreciated
your playful side.
180
00:07:30,300 --> 00:07:31,367
That's us.
181
00:07:31,367 --> 00:07:33,334
We're just fun-lovin' rascals.
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00:07:33,334 --> 00:07:35,834
Exactly, and I'm going
to make sure you get
183
00:07:35,834 --> 00:07:37,234
that tip I owe you.
184
00:07:37,234 --> 00:07:40,434
Really? Then we apologize
about calling you cheap.
185
00:07:40,434 --> 00:07:43,734
Yeah, you're probably
very generous, we hope.
186
00:07:43,734 --> 00:07:46,534
Why, thank you.
And now here's your tip.
187
00:07:46,534 --> 00:07:49,200
Don't mess with an anchorman!
188
00:07:54,801 --> 00:07:56,300
[PANTING]
189
00:07:58,868 --> 00:08:00,367
[LAUGHING]
190
00:08:02,534 --> 00:08:05,000
Why'd he lock us
in the control room?
191
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,000
YAKKO:
I don't know,
192
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,601
maybe he wants us to direct.
193
00:08:08,601 --> 00:08:11,334
We apologize
for the technical difficulties.
194
00:08:11,334 --> 00:08:14,033
I've been informed that
everything is under control.
195
00:08:14,033 --> 00:08:16,200
"Ground Control to Major Tom.
196
00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:18,367
Commencing countdown,
engines on."
197
00:08:22,934 --> 00:08:24,934
[***]
198
00:08:26,734 --> 00:08:29,400
Hey, what's going on here?
199
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:33,667
Uh, and now tonight's
Newstime Live headlines.
200
00:08:33,667 --> 00:08:36,367
Not those headlines,
these headlines.
201
00:08:36,367 --> 00:08:38,467
But first, our forecast.
202
00:08:38,467 --> 00:08:39,801
Large pointy things here,
203
00:08:39,801 --> 00:08:41,868
followed by big,
fluffy gray things here.
204
00:08:41,868 --> 00:08:44,033
Isn't video technology keen?
205
00:08:44,033 --> 00:08:47,100
Ooh, it looks like some
really bad dental work here.
206
00:08:47,100 --> 00:08:48,868
And if you're driving
Hey, slow down!
207
00:08:48,868 --> 00:08:52,434
through here, don't worry,
there's no brain in sight.
208
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:55,834
I'm too good for this.
209
00:08:55,834 --> 00:08:58,000
His head looks bigger
on TV.
210
00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:01,267
Well, I'll put a stop to that,
my sib sister.
211
00:09:03,367 --> 00:09:05,434
[IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
You can't do this to me.
212
00:09:05,434 --> 00:09:08,133
DAN:
I'm a giant in this industry.
213
00:09:08,133 --> 00:09:10,767
Anybody mind if I see
what else is on?
214
00:09:10,767 --> 00:09:11,801
[IN UNISON]
Nope.
215
00:09:12,968 --> 00:09:15,033
[STATIC]
216
00:09:15,033 --> 00:09:17,901
Hey, little buddy.
Where'd this guy come from?
217
00:09:17,901 --> 00:09:21,167
He's a space alien.
Hit him with a coconut.
218
00:09:23,534 --> 00:09:26,167
Uh, seen that one.
[CLICKS]
219
00:09:26,167 --> 00:09:28,200
[SCREAMING, BANGING]
220
00:09:29,100 --> 00:09:30,100
[CAMERA CLICKS]
221
00:09:31,801 --> 00:09:33,200
[CLICK]
222
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:35,200
ANNOUNCER:
And now Bulk Logan
will take on
223
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,133
some guy in a suit.
224
00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:41,534
Stop! Make it stop!
Make it stop!
225
00:09:41,534 --> 00:09:42,567
I give up!
[CLICK]
226
00:09:43,601 --> 00:09:46,167
[CHUCKLES]
Ladies and gentlemen,
227
00:09:46,167 --> 00:09:48,734
I want to make a public apology
228
00:09:48,734 --> 00:09:52,100
for not tipping
my sandwich-friends.
229
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,400
And now for some sad news.
230
00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:57,534
The host of this news show,
Dan Anchorman,
231
00:09:57,534 --> 00:10:00,367
was taken away today
for a nice long rest.
232
00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:02,167
[GIGGLING MANIACALLY]
233
00:10:05,567 --> 00:10:07,901
And here's our tip
for the day.
234
00:10:07,901 --> 00:10:10,868
Be real nice to people
who handle your food.
235
00:10:10,868 --> 00:10:11,868
Or it's...
236
00:10:11,868 --> 00:10:13,467
[SNIFFLES]
...sad news.
237
00:10:13,467 --> 00:10:14,701
As for us...
238
00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:16,834
[IN UNISON]
We are outta here!
239
00:10:20,300 --> 00:10:23,434
ANNOUNCER:
It's time for another
"Good Idea, Bad Idea."
240
00:10:24,667 --> 00:10:27,601
Good idea.
241
00:10:27,601 --> 00:10:29,767
Havin' breakfast served to you
in bed.
242
00:10:31,701 --> 00:10:33,601
Bad idea.
243
00:10:33,601 --> 00:10:36,467
Havin' tennis balls
served to you in bed.
244
00:10:39,868 --> 00:10:42,133
The end.
245
00:10:42,133 --> 00:10:44,300
* When the birds hit
The street *
246
00:10:44,300 --> 00:10:45,868
* Lookin' for food to eat *
247
00:10:45,868 --> 00:10:47,033
* That's Goodfeathers *
248
00:10:47,033 --> 00:10:48,868
* That's Goodfeathers *
249
00:10:48,868 --> 00:10:51,901
* When I'm cooin' at you
And you're cooin' at me *
250
00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:53,734
* That's Goodfeathers *
251
00:10:53,734 --> 00:10:56,167
* Take no guff
'Cause they're tough *
252
00:10:56,167 --> 00:10:58,033
* Strut their stuff
No cream puffs *
253
00:10:58,033 --> 00:11:00,968
* That's Goodfeathers *
254
00:11:08,934 --> 00:11:12,834
SQUIT:
As far back as I can remember,
Bobby was a fighter.
255
00:11:12,834 --> 00:11:14,167
He had class.
256
00:11:14,167 --> 00:11:15,467
He could have been a contender,
257
00:11:15,467 --> 00:11:17,534
but he never fought
professionally.
258
00:11:19,534 --> 00:11:20,534
[CROWD CHEERING]
259
00:11:20,534 --> 00:11:21,868
[BELL DINGS]
260
00:11:24,834 --> 00:11:26,801
You see,
if you were a Goodfeather,
261
00:11:26,801 --> 00:11:28,033
you didn't have to fight
262
00:11:28,033 --> 00:11:30,367
to prove you were
a tough bird to nobody,
263
00:11:30,367 --> 00:11:34,167
unless that nobody
was a somebody, like Lana.
264
00:11:34,167 --> 00:11:37,267
Bada-bing, bang, boom!
What a fight, huh?
265
00:11:37,267 --> 00:11:38,901
[YAWNS]
266
00:11:43,667 --> 00:11:44,901
[DINGS]
267
00:11:44,901 --> 00:11:47,801
And the winner
by a beakout,
268
00:11:47,801 --> 00:11:52,334
the undefeated heavyweight
beaking champion of the city,
269
00:11:52,334 --> 00:11:54,601
Pretty Boy Robin!
270
00:11:54,601 --> 00:11:56,100
[CHEERING, APPLAUDING]
271
00:11:59,334 --> 00:12:01,667
You could beak out Pretty Boy,
Bobby.
272
00:12:01,667 --> 00:12:04,667
Win the purse, the title.
You could do that.
273
00:12:04,667 --> 00:12:06,834
I could beak him down
with one whack.
274
00:12:06,834 --> 00:12:08,300
No big deal.
275
00:12:08,300 --> 00:12:10,000
Yeah, he's a nothin'.
276
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:11,567
Just good-looking,
that's all.
277
00:12:11,567 --> 00:12:13,033
You think
he's good-lookin'?
278
00:12:13,033 --> 00:12:15,634
I don't know. Everybody says
he's good-looking.
279
00:12:15,634 --> 00:12:17,634
Who says he's good-lookin'?
Do you say that?
280
00:12:17,634 --> 00:12:19,467
No way, not me.
Forget about it.
281
00:12:19,467 --> 00:12:21,501
Well, he is kind of cute.
282
00:12:21,501 --> 00:12:23,033
Bada-bing.
283
00:12:25,734 --> 00:12:28,734
[COOS]
Big shot,
are you good-looking?
284
00:12:28,734 --> 00:12:30,200
I don't think so.
285
00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:31,234
[SNIFFS]
286
00:12:31,234 --> 00:12:32,701
Huh? Who is that?
287
00:12:32,701 --> 00:12:35,367
I don't know.
Maybe it's the Big Bad Wolf.
288
00:12:35,367 --> 00:12:37,367
Yo, it's a Goodfeather.
289
00:12:37,367 --> 00:12:38,467
I been waitin' for years
290
00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:40,400
to get one of you tough birds
in the ring.
291
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:41,400
[CHUCKLES]
292
00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:43,200
I'll beak in the ring with you.
293
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:44,367
[SNIFFS]
Good.
294
00:12:44,367 --> 00:12:46,734
I'll see your beak
in a week.
295
00:12:49,467 --> 00:12:51,667
[COOS]
What did I get myself into?
296
00:12:51,667 --> 00:12:54,701
You got yourself into a fight
with Pretty Boy, that's what.
297
00:12:54,701 --> 00:12:56,567
Unless you get a manager
and some training,
298
00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:58,734
you got yourself a one-way
ticket to Palookaville.
299
00:12:58,734 --> 00:12:59,767
That's what you got.
300
00:12:59,767 --> 00:13:01,033
He got a shot
at the title,
301
00:13:01,033 --> 00:13:02,067
and he'll win too,
302
00:13:02,067 --> 00:13:03,968
'cause Pretty Boy's a nothin'.
303
00:13:03,968 --> 00:13:05,634
Just got a pretty face,
that's all.
304
00:13:05,634 --> 00:13:08,200
Ooh, bada-bing!
305
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:10,200
[***]
306
00:13:16,634 --> 00:13:19,267
Relax, will ya? You're givin'
me the zigzags over here.
307
00:13:19,267 --> 00:13:21,701
[COOS]
I always said
I could beak-out Pretty Boy,
308
00:13:21,701 --> 00:13:23,901
but I got these doubts,
you know what I'm sayin'?
309
00:13:23,901 --> 00:13:25,267
Look at my wings.
310
00:13:25,267 --> 00:13:26,767
I got these small wings.
311
00:13:26,767 --> 00:13:28,234
I got little-girl wings.
312
00:13:28,234 --> 00:13:30,434
Do me a favor. I want you
to whack me in the beak.
313
00:13:30,434 --> 00:13:31,534
Forget about it.
314
00:13:31,534 --> 00:13:33,133
Come on, whack me.
Naw, I ain't.
315
00:13:33,133 --> 00:13:34,400
Come on,
take your best shot.
316
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:35,767
I ain't whacking ya.
Come on.
317
00:13:35,767 --> 00:13:37,033
What are you trying to prove?
318
00:13:37,033 --> 00:13:38,300
Come on.
What's it prove?
319
00:13:38,300 --> 00:13:39,701
Whack him, Pesto.
320
00:13:39,701 --> 00:13:42,067
I'd like to see you two
in a round of whackin'.
321
00:13:46,868 --> 00:13:48,534
BOBBY: Come here.
SQUIT: Hey!
322
00:13:48,534 --> 00:13:50,234
BOBBY:
Here's some whackin' over here.
323
00:13:50,234 --> 00:13:52,868
Don't tell me what I gotta do.
SQUIT: Come on, knock it off.
324
00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:56,334
[SMACKS]
325
00:13:56,334 --> 00:13:57,367
Hey, Lana.
326
00:13:57,367 --> 00:13:58,367
[COOING]
327
00:13:59,601 --> 00:14:00,801
Hey, Lana.
How you doin'?
328
00:14:00,801 --> 00:14:03,467
I just wanted to stop by,
give you a kiss,
329
00:14:03,467 --> 00:14:04,667
wish you luck
for the fight.
330
00:14:04,667 --> 00:14:05,667
[SMACKS]
331
00:14:05,667 --> 00:14:07,167
I gotta go. See ya.
332
00:14:07,167 --> 00:14:09,133
Go ahead.
333
00:14:09,133 --> 00:14:10,934
Are you cooin' with my bird?
What?
334
00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:12,167
Are you cooin'
with my bird?
335
00:14:12,167 --> 00:14:13,934
How could you ask me
a question like that?
336
00:14:13,934 --> 00:14:15,601
Just tell me.
I'm not answerin' that.
337
00:14:15,601 --> 00:14:16,934
It's stupid.
338
00:14:16,934 --> 00:14:19,667
I'm gonna ask you again:
Are you, or are you not?
339
00:14:19,667 --> 00:14:21,167
What?
Come on, you're a wacko.
340
00:14:21,167 --> 00:14:23,100
No,
this is a wacko.
341
00:14:23,100 --> 00:14:25,100
[***]
342
00:14:27,501 --> 00:14:30,634
MAN:
Word's out you need
a manager, ya bum.
343
00:14:30,634 --> 00:14:32,067
With me in your corner,
344
00:14:32,067 --> 00:14:34,534
you got a shot at beatin'
Pretty Boy Robin.
345
00:14:34,534 --> 00:14:37,734
[COOS]
I'm crackin' up,
hearin' voices over here.
346
00:14:37,734 --> 00:14:39,434
MAN:
Down here, ya bum.
347
00:14:42,367 --> 00:14:43,634
[BOTH LAUGHING]
348
00:14:43,634 --> 00:14:45,434
[LAUGHING]
349
00:14:47,167 --> 00:14:50,834
Hoo-hoo. Look at Mr. Tough-Bird-
the-Size-of-a-Pea over here.
350
00:14:50,834 --> 00:14:52,000
[CACKLING]
351
00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:55,534
The name is Max,
ya bum.
352
00:14:55,534 --> 00:14:57,067
Now, this is the setup, see?
353
00:14:57,067 --> 00:15:00,067
I got a grudge to settle
with P.B. Robin.
354
00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:02,534
Years ago before I got
in the ring with that bird,
355
00:15:02,534 --> 00:15:04,133
I was the size of a dog!
356
00:15:04,133 --> 00:15:06,400
So I'm gonna manage ya,
ya bum.
357
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:09,267
And I'm gonna work ya
into a wreckin' machine.
358
00:15:09,267 --> 00:15:10,267
Deal?
359
00:15:10,267 --> 00:15:11,267
Deal.
360
00:15:11,267 --> 00:15:13,267
[***]
361
00:15:20,300 --> 00:15:22,167
BOBBY:
Sweet Scorsese, what is that?
362
00:15:22,167 --> 00:15:23,934
We got movin' trees over here.
363
00:15:23,934 --> 00:15:26,067
Them ain't no trees,
ya bum.
364
00:15:26,067 --> 00:15:27,334
Them is legs.
365
00:15:27,334 --> 00:15:29,334
That's One-Punch Paulie.
366
00:15:29,334 --> 00:15:31,334
He's your sparrin' partner.
367
00:15:31,334 --> 00:15:32,834
[SCREAMING]
368
00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:36,234
He's a bum, I tell ya,
369
00:15:36,234 --> 00:15:37,234
A bum.
370
00:15:37,701 --> 00:15:39,000
[GRUNTING]
371
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:40,701
I'm the boss, I'm the boss,
I'm the boss.
372
00:15:40,701 --> 00:15:41,701
[GRUNTING]
373
00:15:44,367 --> 00:15:45,767
Work it! Work it!
374
00:15:45,767 --> 00:15:48,000
You got what it takes
to be a wreckin' machine?
375
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,000
[BOBBY GRUNTING]
376
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:50,000
BOBBY:
I'm the boss--
377
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,033
[GRUNTS]
378
00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:53,701
Just what I need,
a bum-sicle.
379
00:15:53,701 --> 00:15:55,701
[***]
380
00:15:56,767 --> 00:15:58,267
[PANTING]
381
00:16:00,434 --> 00:16:01,467
[GROANS]
382
00:16:05,634 --> 00:16:07,701
You'll never be anything more
than a bum,
383
00:16:07,701 --> 00:16:09,534
ya bum!
384
00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:12,801
Yo, why you callin' me
a bum all the time?
385
00:16:12,801 --> 00:16:15,300
'Cause you're a bum,
ya bum!
386
00:16:15,300 --> 00:16:16,534
Oh.
387
00:16:21,100 --> 00:16:23,400
[***]
388
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:24,701
[CHEERING]
389
00:16:27,100 --> 00:16:29,467
Max, what do you think
my chances are?
390
00:16:29,467 --> 00:16:32,334
Did you do everything
you wanted to do in life?
391
00:16:32,334 --> 00:16:33,634
No.
Too bad.
392
00:16:33,634 --> 00:16:34,767
[BELL DINGS]
393
00:16:34,767 --> 00:16:37,133
SPECTATOR:
Yeah! Come on! Pulverize him!
394
00:16:37,133 --> 00:16:38,968
[CHEERING]
395
00:16:45,100 --> 00:16:47,200
Touch beaks
and come out flappin'.
396
00:16:48,701 --> 00:16:49,734
[SMOOCHES]
397
00:16:52,934 --> 00:16:54,400
[DINGS]
398
00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:55,400
[GRUNTING]
399
00:16:58,200 --> 00:16:59,601
[BOOING]
400
00:17:01,734 --> 00:17:02,734
[GRUNTS]
401
00:17:18,300 --> 00:17:20,334
Coo. I ain't gonna watch that.
402
00:17:20,334 --> 00:17:21,467
That's uglifyin'.
403
00:17:24,534 --> 00:17:26,033
[RAPID, HOLLOW TAPPING]
404
00:17:28,234 --> 00:17:30,200
[CROWD CHEERING]
405
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:33,501
No way I'm goin' down.
I don't go down for nobody.
406
00:17:33,501 --> 00:17:34,634
Psst.
407
00:17:34,634 --> 00:17:36,200
Bobby, you are down.
408
00:17:39,234 --> 00:17:41,968
Yo, Lana,
wanna see my wingspan?
409
00:17:46,834 --> 00:17:48,467
Bada-bing.
410
00:17:50,601 --> 00:17:52,133
Are you cooin'
with my bird?
411
00:17:58,701 --> 00:18:00,200
[AS ROCKY]
Yo, Adrian!
412
00:18:01,634 --> 00:18:03,400
[CHEERING]
413
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:04,400
All right,
Bobby!
414
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,601
That was great, Bobby!
That was great!
415
00:18:06,601 --> 00:18:07,601
[SMOOCHES]
416
00:18:12,033 --> 00:18:14,000
He ain't pretty no more.
417
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:17,234
And the winner
by unanimous decision,
418
00:18:17,234 --> 00:18:19,968
the new heavyweight beakin'
champion of the city,
419
00:18:19,968 --> 00:18:22,400
Bobby Goodfeather!
420
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:23,901
[CROWD CHEERING, APPLAUDING]
421
00:18:25,234 --> 00:18:27,467
PESTO: Congratulations, pal!
SQUIT:You did it!
422
00:18:29,934 --> 00:18:31,634
Oh, look at the purse.
423
00:18:31,634 --> 00:18:34,334
[COOS]
I never won
so much seed in my life.
424
00:18:40,734 --> 00:18:42,234
[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
425
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:47,367
Now, the Godpigeon asks
that as a bird of respect,
426
00:18:47,367 --> 00:18:49,667
I offer him a share
of the purse.
427
00:18:57,133 --> 00:18:58,634
[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
428
00:19:01,734 --> 00:19:04,434
The Godpigeon says
he's been cooin' with my bird.
429
00:19:07,767 --> 00:19:09,801
Forget about it, Bobby.
She'll be back.
430
00:19:09,801 --> 00:19:12,501
Attabird, Pesto,
always the optimist.
431
00:19:12,501 --> 00:19:13,934
What do you mean by that?
432
00:19:13,934 --> 00:19:15,367
I said
you're an optimist.
433
00:19:15,367 --> 00:19:16,968
An optimist?
What are you sayin'?
434
00:19:16,968 --> 00:19:19,300
That I'm some kind of doctor
here to test your vision?
435
00:19:19,300 --> 00:19:20,701
That I'm
an eyeball inspector?
436
00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:22,601
That I make a spectacle
of myself?
437
00:19:22,601 --> 00:19:23,767
Is that what you're sayin'?
438
00:19:23,767 --> 00:19:25,300
No, no, I'm not sayin' that.
439
00:19:25,300 --> 00:19:28,567
I'm just saying that you look
on the bright side, an optimist.
440
00:19:28,567 --> 00:19:29,901
I am an optimist?
441
00:19:29,901 --> 00:19:31,901
Yeah, that's what I'm sayin'.
442
00:19:31,901 --> 00:19:32,901
That's it! Come here!
443
00:19:32,901 --> 00:19:34,267
[BOTH SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
444
00:19:34,267 --> 00:19:36,634
[LAUGHING]
445
00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:39,234
SQUIT:
Bobby never fought
in the ring again.
446
00:19:39,234 --> 00:19:42,234
He said he'd rather watch me
and Pesto wing it out.
447
00:19:42,234 --> 00:19:44,067
Why? 'Cause...
448
00:19:44,067 --> 00:19:45,567
That's entertainment.
449
00:19:45,567 --> 00:19:47,067
[LAUGHING]
450
00:19:55,334 --> 00:19:58,601
NARRATOR:
It's time for another
"Good Idea, Bad Idea."
451
00:19:59,767 --> 00:20:01,701
Good idea.
452
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:02,901
[***]
453
00:20:02,901 --> 00:20:04,667
Whistling while you work.
454
00:20:04,667 --> 00:20:07,734
[WHISTLING "I'VE BEEN WORKING
ON THE RAILROAD"]
455
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:12,601
Bad idea.
456
00:20:13,734 --> 00:20:16,400
Whistling while you eat.
457
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:19,334
[WHISTLING "I'VE BEEN WORKING
ON THE RAILROAD"]
458
00:20:19,334 --> 00:20:20,834
[SPUTTERING]
459
00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:28,067
The end.
460
00:20:28,767 --> 00:20:30,767
[***]
461
00:21:04,567 --> 00:21:06,334
It's over. Go away.
31926
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