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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:37,208 --> 00:00:39,625 CHRISTINA WALTERS? 2 00:00:39,625 --> 00:00:42,291 GOD, I HAVEN'T HEARD THAT NAME IN AGES. 3 00:00:42,291 --> 00:00:45,208 YOU KNOW, THE KIND OF WOMAN WHO CAN GET ANY GUY SHE WANTS? 4 00:00:45,208 --> 00:00:47,458 THAT'S CHRISTINA WALTERS. 5 00:00:47,458 --> 00:00:49,667 WE DATED, YOU KNOW, BRIEFLY. 6 00:00:49,667 --> 00:00:52,250 BUT, UH, SHE'S NOT THE COMMITMENT TYPE. 7 00:00:52,250 --> 00:00:55,500 SHE'S A PLAYER. SHE JUST LIKES TO HAVE FUN. 8 00:00:55,500 --> 00:00:57,417 I MET CHRISTINA AT A BAR. 9 00:00:57,417 --> 00:00:58,750 HOT PIECE OF ASS. 10 00:00:58,750 --> 00:01:01,625 TOTALLY HIT IT OFF. ALL NIGHT LONG WE DANCE, 11 00:01:01,625 --> 00:01:04,291 I BUY HER DRINKS. AT THE END OF THE NIGHT, 12 00:01:04,291 --> 00:01:06,834 SHE JUST SPLITS. 13 00:01:06,834 --> 00:01:09,125 I LAY DOWN ALL THE GROUNDWORK FOR NOTHING. 14 00:01:10,959 --> 00:01:12,166 LESBIAN. 15 00:01:14,792 --> 00:01:17,500 SHE GAVE ME HER NUMBER. IT'S BEEN LIKE, THREE DAYS? 16 00:01:17,500 --> 00:01:20,166 I SAW SWINGERS . I KNOW HOW THESE THINGS WORK. 17 00:01:20,166 --> 00:01:23,375 HELLO, AND WELCOME TO AOL MOVIEFONE. 18 00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:27,208 I STAY UP NIGHTS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY SHE SAID SHE'D CALL AND DIDN'T. 19 00:01:27,208 --> 00:01:30,500 MAYBE SHE WANTED TO CALL AND THAT'S WHY SHE SAID SHE WAS GONNA CALL, 20 00:01:30,500 --> 00:01:32,708 BUT WHEN SHE WAS ABOUT TO CALL... 21 00:01:32,708 --> 00:01:34,542 ♪ CHRISTINA... 22 00:01:35,875 --> 00:01:37,834 ♪ CHRISTINA... ♪ 23 00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:44,208 YOU KNOW, THERE OUGHT TO BE SOME KIND OF A SIGNAL. 24 00:01:44,208 --> 00:01:48,834 TO LET US GUYS KNOW WHEN WE ARE TALKING TO A LESBIAN. 25 00:01:49,792 --> 00:01:54,500 SO WE DON'T WASTE OUR TIME. 26 00:01:54,500 --> 00:01:57,291 YOU KNOW, PROLONGED IMPOTENCE IS VERY COMMON AFTER A BREAKUP. 27 00:01:57,291 --> 00:01:59,834 LOTS OF MEN SUFFER FROM IT. 28 00:01:59,834 --> 00:02:02,041 THEY JUST DON'T TALK ABOUT IT, YOU KNOW. 29 00:02:02,041 --> 00:02:04,583 NOT LIKE ME, GABBING AWAY, GAB, GAB, GAB, GAB. 30 00:02:04,583 --> 00:02:08,041 BUT EVEN STILL, BECAUSE SHE SAID SHE WAS GONNA CALL, 31 00:02:08,041 --> 00:02:10,208 SHE SHOULD HAVE CALLED TO SAY SHE WASN'T GONNA CALL. 32 00:02:10,208 --> 00:02:14,375 THEN I WOULD HAVE THANKED HER FOR CALLING TO SAY SHE WASN'T GONNA CALL. 33 00:02:14,375 --> 00:02:18,792 ALL RIGHT, OKAY. I APOLOGIZE FOR SAYING SHE WAS A LESBIAN. 34 00:02:18,792 --> 00:02:20,041 IT'S NOT TRUE. 35 00:02:21,458 --> 00:02:26,458 MY MALE EGO GOT BRUISED AND I LASHED OUT. I'M SORRY. 36 00:02:26,458 --> 00:02:29,625 I'M JUST NOT USED TO BEING BLOWN OFF, THAT'S ALL. 37 00:02:29,625 --> 00:02:33,542 I'M SURE SHE WASN'T TRYING TO HURT ME ON PURPOSE. 38 00:02:33,542 --> 00:02:39,542 I KNOW DEEP DOWN INSIDE SHE'S PROBABLY SCARED AND LONELY, JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE. 39 00:02:39,542 --> 00:02:42,417 SHE'LL SETTLE DOWN, THOUGH, YOU KNOW, ONCE SHE FINDS THE RIGHT MAN. 40 00:02:43,041 --> 00:02:44,708 OR WOMAN. 41 00:02:44,708 --> 00:02:47,083 MAYBE HAS A LITTLE BOX LUNCH AT THE Y. 42 00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:49,834 OH GEEZ, I'M SORRY! 43 00:02:49,834 --> 00:02:53,291 DID I SAY IT AGAIN? YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT I SAID IT AGAIN. 44 00:02:53,291 --> 00:02:56,834 WHY DON'T YOU SHAVE YOUR HEAD, CHRISTINA, AND TAKE UP WOMEN'S GOLF? 45 00:02:56,834 --> 00:02:59,875 WHY DON'T YOU GO TO THE DEPOT? THERE'S PROBABLY LOTS OF CARPET YOU CAN MUNCH ON! 46 00:03:07,041 --> 00:03:08,792 BUT HEY, YOU KNOW, AT LEAST I DON'T GET THAT DIZZY, 47 00:03:08,792 --> 00:03:11,125 HEAD-SPINNING NAUSEA AS MUCH AS I USED TO. 48 00:03:11,125 --> 00:03:13,375 HOORAY! 49 00:03:15,417 --> 00:03:17,792 YEAH, YOU KNOW, LIKE I SAID, I'M DOING FINE. 50 00:03:19,291 --> 00:03:21,208 I AM FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC... 51 00:03:30,458 --> 00:03:34,375 ♪ THIS IS MY SEXUAL REVOLUTION 52 00:03:34,375 --> 00:03:39,125 ♪ SEXUAL REVOLUTION SEXUAL REVOLUTION 53 00:03:41,458 --> 00:03:44,333 ♪ SEXUAL REVOLUTION 54 00:03:45,208 --> 00:03:47,834 ♪ EVERYBODY, SHAKING ♪ 55 00:03:49,125 --> 00:03:50,458 VALERIE! CHRISTINA! 56 00:03:50,458 --> 00:03:53,458 SHAKE IT IF YOU GOT IT. 57 00:03:55,333 --> 00:03:56,959 MISS COURTNEY! 58 00:03:56,959 --> 00:04:00,375 WELL, HELLO, MISS CHRISTINA. HOW YOU DOING? WHAT YOU DOING? 59 00:04:00,375 --> 00:04:01,792 DANCING TOO MUCH. HOW YOU DOING? 60 00:04:01,792 --> 00:04:05,000 SAME THING. HOW WAS YOUR DAY? 61 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:10,250 PRETTY GOOD. I GOT A NEW ACCOUNT DESIGNING A CAMPAIGN FOR A SPORTS LINE. 62 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,625 WELL, THEY GOT THE RIGHT GIRL NOW, DIDN'T THEY? 63 00:04:12,625 --> 00:04:16,417 AHH, THANK YOU. SO, WHAT'S UP? 64 00:04:16,417 --> 00:04:21,166 OH, YOU KNOW, THE USUAL. DEFENDING THE RIGHTS OF MY BROKENHEARTED CLIENTS, 65 00:04:21,166 --> 00:04:24,959 AND TRYING TO SQUEEZE EVERY SINGLE PENNY OUT OF THEIR MISERABLE, CHEATING SPOUSES. 66 00:04:24,959 --> 00:04:27,708 YOU GO GET 'EM, WOMAN. SO, LISTEN. 67 00:04:27,708 --> 00:04:30,625 I THINK I'M JUST GONNA ORDER A PIZZA AND STAY IN TONIGHT. HOW DOES THAT SOUND? 68 00:04:30,625 --> 00:04:33,792 OKAY, BUT IF WE DO THAT, YOU KNOW WHAT'S GONNA HAVE TO HAPPEN, HUH? 69 00:04:33,792 --> 00:04:37,792 GIRL, I'VE BEEN SHAKING MY ASS ALL THE WAY UP THIS HILL. 70 00:04:37,792 --> 00:04:38,917 WHICH TRACK ? 71 00:04:38,917 --> 00:04:40,542 TRACK THREE. OH, YEAH! 72 00:04:42,458 --> 00:04:44,500 COOCHIE! 73 00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:47,333 ♪ A BEAUTIFUL THING SEXUAL REVOLUTION 74 00:04:47,333 --> 00:04:51,834 ♪ A SEXUAL REVOLUTION SEXUAL REVOLUTION ♪ 75 00:04:58,375 --> 00:05:02,375 IS YOUR GRANNY HERE? WHAT'S GOING ON? 76 00:05:02,375 --> 00:05:04,583 -IT'S JANE. SHE LOVES THIS SONG. -OH. 77 00:05:04,583 --> 00:05:07,750 HOLA, CHICA . WHAT'S UP? 78 00:05:07,750 --> 00:05:09,625 HEY, JANE, WHAT'S UP? 79 00:05:09,625 --> 00:05:10,959 HEY, GIRL. 80 00:05:10,959 --> 00:05:12,959 ♪ CHERISH IS THE WORD ♪ 81 00:05:12,959 --> 00:05:17,583 HE DUMPED ME. KEVIN DUMPED ME. 82 00:05:17,583 --> 00:05:21,542 IT WAS JUST THREE DAYS BEFORE OUR ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY. 83 00:05:21,542 --> 00:05:25,000 OH, BABY. YOU KNOW WHAT, MAYBE HE JUST FREAKED OUT. 84 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:29,041 HE IS GONNA CALL UP TOMORROW WHEN HE REALIZES WHAT A HUGE MISTAKE HE MADE. 85 00:05:29,041 --> 00:05:32,208 -YOU KNOW, HE'S PROBABLY JUST GOING THROUGH THAT... -NO! 86 00:05:32,208 --> 00:05:36,583 HE SAYS HE'S BEEN WANTING THIS FOR SIX MONTHS. HE SAYS HE'S BEEN DYING INSIDE 87 00:05:36,583 --> 00:05:38,417 EVER SINCE I BROUGHT OVER MY GARMENT BAG. 88 00:05:40,291 --> 00:05:42,125 HONEY. OUCH. 89 00:05:42,125 --> 00:05:43,708 WHAT? 90 00:05:43,708 --> 00:05:45,291 YOU KNOW WHAT, WE'RE ALL GUILTY OF IT. 91 00:05:45,291 --> 00:05:47,333 -YOU MADE YOURSELF TOO AVAILABLE. -YEAH. 92 00:05:47,333 --> 00:05:49,708 -IT'S A CLASSIC MISTAKE, SWEETHEART. -UH-UH! 93 00:05:49,708 --> 00:05:51,083 YEAH. 94 00:05:51,083 --> 00:05:53,458 NOT ACCORDING TO THIS. 95 00:05:53,458 --> 00:05:55,417 LOOK. "COMMANDMENT FOUR." WHAT IS THIS? 96 00:05:55,417 --> 00:05:58,041 -"True Love, The Ten Commandments." -Mmm-hmm. 97 00:05:58,041 --> 00:06:02,500 "Commandment #4: THOU SHALT BE OPEN TO LOVE'S POSSIBILITIES. 98 00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:05,291 "BOUNDARIES ARE THE ENEMY OF LOVE." SWEETIE. 99 00:06:05,291 --> 00:06:09,250 SWEETIE, LOOKIT. YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS BOOK IS RELATIONSHIP PROPAGANDA. 100 00:06:09,250 --> 00:06:11,333 LISTEN TO ME. 101 00:06:11,333 --> 00:06:15,542 DATING IS ALL ABOUT BOUNDARIES. 102 00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:17,583 HONEY, YOU HAVE TO PROTECT YOURSELF. 103 00:06:17,583 --> 00:06:21,333 WE'VE ALL HAD OUR HEARTS STOMPED ON ONE TOO MANY TIMES BECAUSE 104 00:06:21,333 --> 00:06:24,250 WE WENT AND SERVED IT TO THEM ON A BIG OLD PLATTER. 105 00:06:24,250 --> 00:06:27,458 A GOOD DEFENSE IS THE BEST OFFENSE. 106 00:06:27,458 --> 00:06:29,834 I AM SO TIRED OF PLAYING GAMES. 107 00:06:29,834 --> 00:06:33,500 THIS IS NOT ABOUT PLAYING GAMES. THIS IS ABOUT SELF-PRESERVATION. 108 00:06:33,500 --> 00:06:38,041 HONEY, YOU CAN'T JUST THROW YOURSELF OUT THERE ALL EXPOSED AND VULNERABLE EVERY TIME. 109 00:06:38,041 --> 00:06:41,667 THAT IS HOW YOU GET SMACKED DOWN. DO YOU UNDERSTAND? 110 00:06:41,667 --> 00:06:45,500 DON'T GO LOOKING FOR MR. RIGHT. LOOK FOR MR. RIGHT NOW. 111 00:06:45,500 --> 00:06:48,834 AND EVENTUALLY, IF HE'S WORTHY, 112 00:06:48,834 --> 00:06:53,250 THEN ONE DAY THAT "NOW" PART IS JUST GOING TO... 113 00:06:53,250 --> 00:06:56,792 ...DROP AWAY. NATURALLY, YOU KNOW? 114 00:06:56,792 --> 00:06:59,708 MEANWHILE, YOU'RE JUST GONNA HAVE FUN TOGETHER. 115 00:06:59,708 --> 00:07:04,000 YEAH, IT'S NOT SO SERIOUS, YOU KNOW. SHAKE IT OFF A LITTLE BIT. 116 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:07,291 SPEAKING OF FUN, WE ARE GONNA TAKE YOU OUT. 117 00:07:07,291 --> 00:07:09,083 OH, YES. WHAT? 118 00:07:09,083 --> 00:07:12,208 WE ARE TAKING YOU OUT. YOU ARE GONNA HAVE A GOOD TIME. 119 00:07:12,208 --> 00:07:15,875 OH, NO. NO, NO, NO, NO. NO! 120 00:07:15,875 --> 00:07:18,125 OSWALDO! 121 00:07:18,125 --> 00:07:20,041 HELLO, CHRISTINA. COURTNEY. 122 00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:23,208 HELLO, JANE. JANE. 123 00:07:24,708 --> 00:07:25,792 THANK YOU. WELCOME. 124 00:07:27,875 --> 00:07:30,208 SHUT UP! 125 00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:41,542 OKAY GIRLS, LET'S GO. 126 00:07:45,834 --> 00:07:46,834 THIS IS IT, JANE. 127 00:07:54,250 --> 00:07:55,625 YOU GO, BABY. 128 00:07:55,625 --> 00:07:56,750 UH-HUH. 129 00:08:44,750 --> 00:08:45,875 RIGHT HERE, BABY. 130 00:08:45,875 --> 00:08:47,250 OH, MY GOD! 131 00:08:49,917 --> 00:08:53,625 HEY, HEY. LOOK AT SHOULDER, BABY. BOUNCE IT, BABY. 132 00:08:53,625 --> 00:08:56,417 CHECK IT OUT, BABY. YEAH! ALL RIGHT. 133 00:08:56,417 --> 00:08:58,375 WHAT'S YOUR NAME, BABY? 134 00:08:59,750 --> 00:09:00,708 OH, HERE WE GO! 135 00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:02,291 THE CIRCLE OF LOVE, CIRCLE OF LOVE! 136 00:09:07,959 --> 00:09:10,333 TOGETHER : WE'RE GONNA GO NOW. 137 00:09:11,708 --> 00:09:12,792 BYE-BYE! 138 00:09:16,750 --> 00:09:18,792 CHOP, CHOP, CHOP, CHOP, CHOPPING, CHOPPING. 139 00:09:25,041 --> 00:09:28,208 OH, MY GOD. IT'S LIKE SIEGFRIED AND ROY OR SOMETHING. 140 00:09:28,208 --> 00:09:29,625 MARTINIS, LADIES. 141 00:09:29,625 --> 00:09:30,917 OH, THANK YOU. 142 00:09:30,917 --> 00:09:34,250 -COMPLIMENTS OF THE GENTLEMAN AT THE BAR. -OH, WHICH ONE? 143 00:09:36,542 --> 00:09:39,917 WHOA. THANK YOU, LEATHER COAT GUY. 144 00:09:39,917 --> 00:09:42,333 CHEERS. 145 00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:46,750 HMM. LEATHER COAT GUY'S LOOKING KIND OF GOOD, HUH? 146 00:09:46,750 --> 00:09:47,792 YES, HE IS. 147 00:09:47,792 --> 00:09:49,667 SHOTGUN! 148 00:09:49,667 --> 00:09:50,708 CHEATER. 149 00:09:55,166 --> 00:09:56,291 WHAT'S UP? 150 00:09:58,083 --> 00:10:00,458 NOTHING. WHAT'S UP WITH YOU? 151 00:10:01,917 --> 00:10:05,834 NOTHIN'. WHAT'S UP WITH YOU? 152 00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:09,458 NOTHING. WHAT'S UP WITH YOU? 153 00:10:10,792 --> 00:10:12,500 NOTHIN'. 154 00:10:12,500 --> 00:10:17,834 -YOU KNOW, I AM HAVING THE BEST TIME. -ARE YOU, SWEETIE? 155 00:10:17,834 --> 00:10:21,041 MY BOYFRIEND JUST DUMPED ME, I'M HERE AT THIS CLUB WHERE NO ONE WANTS TO TALK TO ME, 156 00:10:21,041 --> 00:10:22,333 AND I WANNA GO HOME. 157 00:10:22,333 --> 00:10:23,500 NO! 158 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,375 NO, CHRISTINA, I CAN'T DO THIS. 159 00:10:27,375 --> 00:10:29,750 YES, YOU CAN. IT'S REALLY VERY EASY. 160 00:10:29,750 --> 00:10:31,250 OBSERVE. 161 00:10:34,125 --> 00:10:36,625 OW! I JUST PINCHED HIS ASS. 162 00:10:36,625 --> 00:10:39,834 I'M SORRY. HI. HI. WHAT'S YOUR NAME? 163 00:10:39,834 --> 00:10:42,166 PETER. WHY... PETER, THIS IS MY FRIEND JANE. 164 00:10:42,166 --> 00:10:45,875 JANE WOULD LOVE TO DANCE. HEY. 165 00:10:45,875 --> 00:10:48,667 UH, JANE, I DON'T MEAN TO BE RUDE, BUT I HAVE SOME FRIENDS WHO ARE WAITING FOR ME. 166 00:10:48,667 --> 00:10:50,542 ♪ DANCING TOGETHER, YOU AND JANE... ♪ 167 00:10:50,542 --> 00:10:52,875 NICE TO MEET YOU, THOUGH. 168 00:10:52,875 --> 00:10:54,583 OH, HE HATED ME. I SUCK. 169 00:10:54,583 --> 00:10:56,667 YOU DO NOT SUCK. THAT GUY WAS A DICK. 170 00:10:56,667 --> 00:11:00,792 LOOK, I'M GONNA MAKE SURE YOU HAVE FUN TONIGHT IF IT'S THE LAST THING... 171 00:11:00,792 --> 00:11:02,875 I'M SORRY. WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME? 172 00:11:05,250 --> 00:11:08,917 YEAH. YOU JUST CALLED ME A DICK. I HEARD YOU. WHY AM I A DICK? 173 00:11:08,917 --> 00:11:12,542 UH, WELL, BECAUSE YOU... I DON'T LIKE THE WAY YOU TREATED MY FRIEND. 174 00:11:12,542 --> 00:11:15,041 -WELL, I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO YOUR FRIEND. -WELL... 175 00:11:15,041 --> 00:11:17,208 YOU BARELY GAVE HER THE TIME OF DAY. HI. 176 00:11:17,208 --> 00:11:21,625 UH, NO. YOU TRIED TO PAWN ME OFF ON HER AND I DIDN'T GO FOR IT. THAT MAKES ME A DICK? 177 00:11:21,625 --> 00:11:25,750 PAWN YOU OFF? YOU SHOULD BE SO LUCKY TO EVEN TALK TO SOMEONE HOT AND SWEET AS JANE. 178 00:11:25,750 --> 00:11:27,625 WELL, EXCUSE ME. 179 00:11:27,625 --> 00:11:29,250 HEY, I WASN'T SUGGESTING THAT THE TWO OF YOU GET MARRIED. 180 00:11:29,250 --> 00:11:31,166 I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE YOU COULD GET IT ON. 181 00:11:31,166 --> 00:11:32,583 WHAT? "GET IT ON?" 182 00:11:32,583 --> 00:11:35,125 I WAS TRYING TO DO YOU A FAVOR. 183 00:11:35,125 --> 00:11:36,959 YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME. WHAT IF I'M SOME PSYCHO SERIAL KILLER? 184 00:11:36,959 --> 00:11:39,375 AND WHAT IF JANE WAS THE GIRL OF YOUR DREAMS? BUT YOU'LL NEVER KNOW. 185 00:11:39,375 --> 00:11:41,583 THAT IS THE SWEETEST THING. 186 00:11:41,583 --> 00:11:44,917 I NEVER THOUGHT I'D MEET THE GIRL OF MY DREAMS BY HAVING SOMEBODY GRAB ME IN A BAR 187 00:11:44,917 --> 00:11:47,792 AND SAY "HEY, YOU, MAN, I HAVE GOOD WOMAN FOR YOU. 188 00:11:47,792 --> 00:11:49,750 "SHE IS VERY HOT AND SWEET. SHE IS THERE. 189 00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:52,125 -"JANE, YOU DANCE FOR THE MAN!" -WAIT. 190 00:11:52,125 --> 00:11:54,959 MAYBE THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM. WAIT. WHAT'S MY PROBLEM? 191 00:11:54,959 --> 00:11:58,000 -MAYBE IF YOU DIDN'T PLAY IT SO SAFE, MR. SAFETY POO, -HEY. 192 00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:00,792 YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY MEET A GIRL THAT YOU COULD HAVE FUN WITH. 193 00:12:00,792 --> 00:12:04,750 AND THIS BRILLIANT LOVE ADVICE COMES FROM SOMEONE WHO LOVES TO PLAY GAMES WITH MEN, 194 00:12:04,750 --> 00:12:08,125 ALWAYS IN CONTROL, THAT WAY SHE NEVER HAS TO GET TOO CLOSE. 195 00:12:09,208 --> 00:12:10,834 NICE MANNERS, BY THE WAY. 196 00:12:15,166 --> 00:12:18,834 WHERE THE HELL DID THAT GUY...JANE? JANE? 197 00:12:18,834 --> 00:12:20,458 WHAT'S UP WITH YOU? 198 00:12:22,333 --> 00:12:25,125 NOTHIN'. WHAT'S UP WITH YOU? 199 00:12:26,959 --> 00:12:29,458 I CAN'T BELIEVE HE BROUGHT THAT BITCH TO OUR BAR. 200 00:12:29,458 --> 00:12:31,500 THIS IS OUR BAR! 201 00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:33,458 FORGET HER, SHE'S A SKEEZE. 202 00:12:33,458 --> 00:12:35,000 BUT IS SHE PRETTIER THAN ME? 203 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:37,375 OF COURSE NOT, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL. 204 00:12:37,375 --> 00:12:40,375 OH MY GOD, YOU FUCKING BITCH! 205 00:12:40,375 --> 00:12:42,959 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GRABBED HIS ASS. 206 00:12:42,959 --> 00:12:45,500 BUT HE COMES RIGHT INTO MY FACE AND HE STARTS TELLING ME ALL THIS STUPID STUFF, 207 00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:50,333 ABOUT HOW I LIKE TO PLAY GAMES AND ALWAYS BE IN CONTROL SO I "NEVER GET TOO CLOSE." 208 00:12:50,333 --> 00:12:51,875 CAN YOU BELIEVE HIM? 209 00:12:51,875 --> 00:12:53,125 OH, NO. 210 00:12:53,125 --> 00:12:54,959 NOTHING, I JUST... WHAT? 211 00:12:54,959 --> 00:12:57,125 I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU ACT LIKE THIS BEFORE, THAT'S ALL. 212 00:12:57,125 --> 00:12:58,708 ACT LIKE WHAT? 213 00:12:58,708 --> 00:13:00,125 THEY'RE FAKE. 214 00:13:00,125 --> 00:13:02,834 ALL BAH-JIGGITY ABOUT SOME GUY. 215 00:13:02,834 --> 00:13:04,667 -YOU'RE CALLING ME "BAH-JIGGITY?" -YEAH. 216 00:13:04,667 --> 00:13:07,917 -I'M REALLY SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN TO STARE. -THAT'S COOL. 217 00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:09,250 THAT'S WHY I GOT 'EM. 218 00:13:09,250 --> 00:13:10,375 I'M NOT BAH-JIGGITY. 219 00:13:10,375 --> 00:13:11,834 YOU ARE SO BAH-JIGGITY. 220 00:13:11,834 --> 00:13:13,750 THEY LOOK REAL. 221 00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:15,834 OH, THANK YOU. YOU CAN TOUCH IT IF YOU WANT TO. 222 00:13:15,834 --> 00:13:17,208 NO, NO, NO, NO. 223 00:13:17,208 --> 00:13:18,708 TOUCH IT. SHE LIKES IT. 224 00:13:18,708 --> 00:13:21,542 IT'S FINE. GO AHEAD. FEELS REAL, HUH? 225 00:13:21,542 --> 00:13:23,625 IF I'M BAH-JIGGITY ABOUT THIS GUY PETER, 226 00:13:23,625 --> 00:13:25,708 IT'S ONLY BECAUSE YOU'RE TELLING ME I AM. 227 00:13:25,708 --> 00:13:26,792 OH, MY GOD. 228 00:13:26,792 --> 00:13:28,166 WHAT? 229 00:13:28,166 --> 00:13:29,208 YOU'VE NAMED THE PUPPY. 230 00:13:29,208 --> 00:13:30,458 I DID NOT. 231 00:13:30,458 --> 00:13:31,542 YOU JUST CALLED HIM PETER. 232 00:13:31,542 --> 00:13:33,000 I DID? 233 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:35,625 SHELLY, YOU'VE GOT TO COME OVER AND FEEL THESE THINGS. 234 00:13:35,625 --> 00:13:37,291 -I'M PSYCHIC AND I JUST KNEW THAT HIS NAME WAS PETER. 235 00:13:37,291 --> 00:13:38,834 DO YOU MIND IF I... 236 00:13:38,834 --> 00:13:40,875 KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF. 237 00:13:40,875 --> 00:13:43,875 SO SOFT. UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE! 238 00:13:43,875 --> 00:13:45,041 OH, FUCK! 239 00:13:45,041 --> 00:13:48,125 WOW. I AM SO GETTING A PAIR. 240 00:13:48,125 --> 00:13:51,500 WHAT DID I TELL YOU? THAT'S WHY CHICKS ALWAYS GO TO THE BATHROOM TOGETHER. 241 00:13:51,500 --> 00:13:55,750 CHRIS, IT'S SO OBVIOUS THAT YOU LIKE THIS GUY. WHY ARE YOU BEING SUCH A PUSSY ABOUT IT? 242 00:13:55,750 --> 00:13:59,083 WHY ARE YOU MAKING SUCH A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT? IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, 243 00:13:59,083 --> 00:14:01,375 THERE'S PLENTY OF GUYS OUT THERE. 244 00:14:01,375 --> 00:14:03,250 MMM-HMM. 245 00:14:03,250 --> 00:14:04,625 SEE YA LATER. 246 00:14:06,417 --> 00:14:09,875 WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? 247 00:14:14,250 --> 00:14:15,708 HI. HI. 248 00:14:17,792 --> 00:14:19,458 HUH? HEY, PETER. 249 00:14:24,500 --> 00:14:25,417 ERIC, HEY. 250 00:14:25,417 --> 00:14:27,250 BE RIGHT THERE, CHRISTINA. 251 00:14:27,250 --> 00:14:29,458 YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS. I MEAN, IT'S... 252 00:14:29,458 --> 00:14:33,917 I KNOW, BUT I WANT TO. I SPILLED YOUR DRINK. CAN I PLEASE BUY YOU ANOTHER ONE? 253 00:14:33,917 --> 00:14:37,166 OKAY. LISTEN, UH, I WANNA APOLOGIZE NOW. 254 00:14:37,166 --> 00:14:39,875 I...SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN IMPOLITE TO YOUR FRIEND. 255 00:14:39,875 --> 00:14:42,959 AND IF I WAS, I DIDN'T MEAN TO BE. IT'S JUST MY BROTHER IS WAITING FOR ME. 256 00:14:42,959 --> 00:14:47,125 I GOT NERVOUS. I DON'T KNOW. BUT I...NOT THAT... 257 00:14:47,125 --> 00:14:49,166 I MEAN, OTHERWISE I'D BE ALL OVER YOUR FRIEND. 258 00:14:50,917 --> 00:14:53,458 I'M THE ONE WHO SHOULD APOLOGIZE. I WAS RUDE. 259 00:14:53,458 --> 00:14:54,708 SO, I APOLOGIZE. 260 00:14:54,708 --> 00:14:56,458 NO, NO, NO. I UNDERSTAND. 261 00:14:56,458 --> 00:14:58,500 NO, YOU WERE PROTECTING YOUR FRIEND. ANYBODY WOULD HAVE DONE THAT. 262 00:14:58,500 --> 00:14:59,667 I THOUGHT THAT WAS SWEET. 263 00:15:01,917 --> 00:15:03,500 EXCUSE ME. PARDON ME. 264 00:15:06,875 --> 00:15:08,041 SO ARE WE GOOD NOW? 265 00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:09,792 GOOD. YEAH. 266 00:15:09,792 --> 00:15:12,333 WELL, I SHOULD PROBABLY GET BACK TO MY FRIENDS. 267 00:15:12,333 --> 00:15:13,458 OKAY. 268 00:15:13,458 --> 00:15:16,667 UM, THANKS FOR THE DRINK. 269 00:15:16,667 --> 00:15:17,750 CHEERS. 270 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:18,834 CHEERS. 271 00:15:20,792 --> 00:15:22,375 YOU TOO. HAVE A GOOD NIGHT. 272 00:15:30,667 --> 00:15:34,500 EXCUSE ME. CAN YOU TAKE THIS? I JUST TOTALLY STRUCK OUT WITH THIS GUY. 273 00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:38,291 ONE MORE THING. SHOULD I BE UPSET MY EX-GIRLFRIEND HAS HER TONGUE DOWN THAT GUY'S THROAT? 274 00:15:41,333 --> 00:15:43,667 OH, MY GOD! JANE! 275 00:15:43,667 --> 00:15:45,250 I GUESS I BLEW MY CHANCE. 276 00:15:45,250 --> 00:15:46,625 YEAH, THAT COULD'VE BEEN YOU. 277 00:15:46,625 --> 00:15:49,208 YEAH, IF I WEREN'T SUCH A DICK. 278 00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:51,500 WAS I REALLY A DICK? 279 00:15:51,500 --> 00:15:52,917 YEAH, YEAH. 280 00:15:52,917 --> 00:15:55,625 WOW. MAYBE WE SHOULD START OVER AGAIN. 281 00:15:55,625 --> 00:15:58,375 WHY DON'T I WALK BY, YOU GRAB ME LIKE YOU DID BEFORE. 282 00:15:58,375 --> 00:16:00,375 YOU TOTALLY GRABBED ME. I DIDN'T GRAB YOU. 283 00:16:00,375 --> 00:16:02,500 -I DID NOT. I PINCHED YOU. -YOU GRABBED ME ON THE ASS. 284 00:16:02,500 --> 00:16:04,125 YOU GRABBED... 285 00:16:04,125 --> 00:16:05,417 I DON'T GRAB. 286 00:16:05,417 --> 00:16:08,750 PETE! PETE! DUDE! 287 00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:10,041 EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME. 288 00:16:10,041 --> 00:16:13,125 DUDE, WHERE YOU BEEN? EVERYBODY'S WAITING. 289 00:16:13,125 --> 00:16:16,917 AFTER-HOURS PARTY BACK AT THE HOTEL. THESE TWO PIGS ARE GOOD TO GO. 290 00:16:16,917 --> 00:16:20,417 DID I MENTION THAT WE HAVE THE FREDDIE MERCURY SUITE? 291 00:16:21,583 --> 00:16:22,834 HEY! 292 00:16:22,834 --> 00:16:24,041 SHE PUKED ON HIM! 293 00:16:24,041 --> 00:16:28,041 AGAIN! GOD, SHE'S LIKE A HOSE. GO HELP HER, PLEASE. 294 00:16:28,041 --> 00:16:32,625 OR NOT. ALL RIGHT, SHE'S OUT. SO, WE'RE ONE SHORT. WHO'S THIS CHICK? 295 00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:34,041 NO. NO, NO, NO, NO. 296 00:16:34,041 --> 00:16:35,083 OH, SHE IS HOT. BRING HER. 297 00:16:35,083 --> 00:16:36,333 WHAT? 298 00:16:36,333 --> 00:16:39,041 FUCK ME! DON'T SAY NO. 299 00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:42,083 YOU HAVE SO MUCH... OW! YOU'VE GOTTA SAY YES. LET ME TELL YOU WHY. 300 00:16:42,083 --> 00:16:45,500 YOU'RE NEVER GONNA FIND ANYONE BETTER THAN MY BROTHER. HE IS THE GREATEST. 301 00:16:45,500 --> 00:16:46,834 OKAY. OKAY. 302 00:16:46,834 --> 00:16:48,500 AND I AM SURE... THAT HURTS ME. 303 00:16:48,500 --> 00:16:50,959 NOW, JUST, JUST LOOK AT HIM. CHICKS FREAK ON THIS GUY. 304 00:16:50,959 --> 00:16:53,542 HE IS...COME ON NOW. HE IS THE SHIT. 305 00:16:53,542 --> 00:16:56,375 -AND THAT'S WHY HE'S IN MY WEDDING ON SATURDAY. -ROG. ROG, NO. 306 00:16:56,375 --> 00:16:59,291 -YES. JUST TRYING TO HELP OUT. -NO. 307 00:16:59,291 --> 00:17:00,458 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH... 308 00:17:00,458 --> 00:17:01,917 BYE. 309 00:17:01,917 --> 00:17:04,125 WHOA! SORRY, SORRY, SORRY, SORRY. 310 00:17:04,125 --> 00:17:07,834 HEY, LISTEN, LADIES. BIG PARTY, FOUR SEASONS, ROOM 402. YOU'RE INVITED. 311 00:17:07,834 --> 00:17:09,000 AND YOU'RE INVIITED. 312 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,667 COME ON, YOU'RE OUT. 313 00:17:10,667 --> 00:17:11,750 I'M LEAVING. ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME? 314 00:17:11,750 --> 00:17:12,792 THAT'S MY BROTHER. 315 00:17:12,792 --> 00:17:14,250 OH, HE'S SPECIAL. 316 00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:17,208 CAREFUL. THAT'S PUKE. IT'S PUKE. DON'T TOUCH ME. 317 00:17:17,208 --> 00:17:19,625 WOW. SO, WHEN'S THE WEDDING? 318 00:17:19,625 --> 00:17:22,291 UH, SATURDAY AFTERNOON UP IN SOMERSET. 319 00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:23,542 THAT'S WHERE WE LIVE. 320 00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:25,000 THAT'S NICE. 321 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:28,208 PETER, IT'S LOOKING LIKE NOW. OKAY, OKAY. 322 00:17:28,208 --> 00:17:30,333 YOU'RE PINCHING MY ARM SKIN. 323 00:17:30,333 --> 00:17:32,625 OKAY, I'D BETTER GO. 324 00:17:32,625 --> 00:17:34,500 FOR REAL THIS TIME. 325 00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:35,625 WELL, IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU. 326 00:17:35,625 --> 00:17:38,125 IT WAS VERY NICE TO MEET YOU. I HAD A GREAT TIME 327 00:17:38,125 --> 00:17:40,291 YEAH? ME TOO. 328 00:17:40,291 --> 00:17:42,792 -YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY COME BY THE PARTY IF YOU WANT TO. -REALLY? 329 00:17:42,792 --> 00:17:45,083 DEFINITELY. IF YOU WANT TO. 330 00:17:45,083 --> 00:17:46,834 OKAY, I'LL ASK MY FRIENDS. MAYBE WE'LL STOP BY. 331 00:17:46,834 --> 00:17:50,166 I REALLY HOPE I SEE YOU. BUT IN CASE I DON'T SEE YOU, HAVE A NICE LIFE. 332 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,000 YOU TOO. 333 00:18:03,291 --> 00:18:07,083 HEY CHRIST, IT'S COURT. SO I'M AT THE PARTY WITH LEATHER COAT GUY, 334 00:18:07,083 --> 00:18:09,667 AND I WAS JUST CHECKING IN TO SEE IF YOU WERE LISTENING TO YOUR MESSAGES. 335 00:18:09,667 --> 00:18:11,917 'CAUSE IF YOU ARE LISTENING TO YOUR MESSAGES, 336 00:18:11,917 --> 00:18:15,000 THAT MEANS YOU WERE TOO CHICKENSHIT TO HOOK UO WITH PETER, 337 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:17,166 WHICH THEREFORE MEANS YOU ARE A LOSER. 338 00:18:17,166 --> 00:18:20,000 YOU ARE A LOSER. A... 339 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,333 THANKS, COURT. 340 00:18:22,333 --> 00:18:25,208 ♪ I'M A BIG LOSER. 341 00:18:25,208 --> 00:18:27,333 ♪ WHAT'S UP YOU BITCHES AND HO AND LOSERS, 342 00:18:27,333 --> 00:18:28,792 ♪ LOSERS ARE... ♪ 343 00:18:35,750 --> 00:18:37,542 TOO LATE NOW. 344 00:18:47,166 --> 00:18:48,834 HE WAS KIND OF CUTE. 345 00:18:53,041 --> 00:18:54,083 FUNNY. 346 00:18:57,458 --> 00:18:59,500 REALLY FUNNY. 347 00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:05,041 CUTE BOY. 348 00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:30,458 OH, MY GOD. YOU'RE SO GOOD AT THAT. 349 00:19:30,458 --> 00:19:34,250 IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'D LIKE TO DO THAT EVERY HOUR ON THE HOUR FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES. 350 00:19:34,250 --> 00:19:36,792 -OF COURSE. GO RIGHT AHEAD. -THANK YOU. 351 00:19:36,792 --> 00:19:40,375 DON'T WORRY ABOUT RETURNING THE FAVOR. MEN DON'T REALLY LIKE ORAL SEX. 352 00:19:40,375 --> 00:19:41,208 YEAH, RIGHT. 353 00:19:41,208 --> 00:19:42,875 I'M SERIOUS! 354 00:19:42,875 --> 00:19:45,250 IT'S JUST A BAD RUMOR THAT WAS STARTED SOMETIME IN THE 's. 355 00:19:45,250 --> 00:19:48,625 I HAD NO IDEA. I NEED TO TELL ALL MY FRIENDS. 356 00:19:48,625 --> 00:19:52,625 PLEASE, DO. SOMEONE NEEDS TO PUT AN END TO THIS MADNESS. 357 00:19:57,750 --> 00:20:01,375 OH, GOD. I'M SO GLAD I CAME BACK TO THE HOTEL ROOM. 358 00:20:01,375 --> 00:20:02,583 GOD. 359 00:20:02,583 --> 00:20:03,625 ME TOO. 360 00:20:05,125 --> 00:20:06,792 I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE YOU AGAIN. 361 00:20:10,125 --> 00:20:11,375 ROOM SERVICE. 362 00:20:11,375 --> 00:20:13,458 OH, RIGHT ON TIME. 363 00:20:13,458 --> 00:20:14,708 ICE CREAM! 364 00:20:14,708 --> 00:20:17,708 ONLY THE BEST FOR OUR VIPs. 365 00:20:17,708 --> 00:20:20,291 I HAD THEM REMOVE ALL THE CALORIES FOR YOU. 366 00:20:20,291 --> 00:20:24,125 OH, YOU ARE GOOD. 367 00:20:24,125 --> 00:20:26,458 ALL RIGHT! 368 00:20:26,458 --> 00:20:29,792 I KNOW I SAID I WANTED TO DO IT TO YOU EVERY HOUR ON THE HOUR, BUT I REALLY CAN'T WAIT. 369 00:20:29,792 --> 00:20:31,834 CAN I DO IT AGAIN NOW? 370 00:20:33,166 --> 00:20:34,500 OKAY. 371 00:20:36,625 --> 00:20:37,750 WOW. 372 00:21:19,250 --> 00:21:24,667 SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA, PLEASE, FOR, UM, FOUR SEASONS HOTEL. THANKS. 373 00:21:24,667 --> 00:21:26,041 THANK YOU. 374 00:21:28,625 --> 00:21:29,834 GREAT DREAM. 375 00:21:31,333 --> 00:21:33,208 YES, HI. 376 00:21:33,208 --> 00:21:37,458 UM, DO YOU HAVE A FREDDIE MERCURY SUITE? 377 00:21:37,458 --> 00:21:41,208 OH, GOOD. CAN I HAVE IT? THANKS. 378 00:21:43,375 --> 00:21:46,208 REALLY? ALREADY? 379 00:21:47,583 --> 00:21:50,250 OKAY, HAVE A GREAT DAY. THANKS. BYE. 380 00:21:54,250 --> 00:21:56,583 WELL, WHAT AM I EVEN CALLING FOR? 381 00:22:02,208 --> 00:22:04,208 HELLO? 382 00:22:04,208 --> 00:22:06,875 HEY, COURT. YEAH. 383 00:22:22,750 --> 00:22:26,708 HEY. HEY. STOP TALKING SHIT ABOUT ME, ALL RIGHT? 384 00:22:26,708 --> 00:22:28,000 WHERE YOU BEEN? 385 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:29,750 SORRY I'M LATE, YOU GUYS. I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT. 386 00:22:29,750 --> 00:22:30,834 YOU READY? 387 00:22:30,834 --> 00:22:32,583 I'M STARVING. 388 00:22:32,583 --> 00:22:35,375 YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M JUST GONNA MEET YOU GUYS IN THERE. 389 00:22:35,375 --> 00:22:38,750 -I HAVE TO DROP SOMETHING OFF AT THE DRY CLEANERS. -CAN IT WAIT? PLEASE? 390 00:22:38,750 --> 00:22:41,000 I'M SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW. 391 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,417 ISN'T THAT COURTNEY'S DRESS THAT YOU BORROWED LAST NIGHT? 392 00:22:43,417 --> 00:22:44,750 YEAH. 393 00:22:44,750 --> 00:22:46,000 WHY ARE YOU BRINGING IT IN? 394 00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:49,291 -DID...DID YOU GET SOMETHING ON IT? -YEAH? 395 00:22:49,291 --> 00:22:52,083 NO. I'M JUST TRYING TO BE A GOOD GIRLFRIEND... 396 00:22:54,041 --> 00:22:55,417 I'M REALLY SORRY. 397 00:22:55,417 --> 00:22:56,667 YOU SLUT! 398 00:22:56,667 --> 00:22:57,875 IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS? 399 00:22:57,875 --> 00:22:59,625 GUILTY! YEAH 400 00:22:59,625 --> 00:23:02,291 I WILL TAKE IT TO THE DRY CLEANERS. AND IT WILL BE GONE. 401 00:23:02,291 --> 00:23:03,291 THAT'S A LOT. 402 00:23:03,291 --> 00:23:04,333 HE WAS HOLDIN' A LOT. 403 00:23:09,417 --> 00:23:12,750 I'M SCARED ENOUGH TO GO IN THERE. WHAT AM I GONNA SAY? 404 00:23:12,750 --> 00:23:15,417 "MR. MARTIN, CAN YOU HELP ME WITH MY JIZZ?" 405 00:23:18,208 --> 00:23:20,417 YOU KNOW WHAT? 406 00:23:20,417 --> 00:23:22,708 YOU GUYS...SUCK. 407 00:23:22,708 --> 00:23:23,750 NO, OBVIOUSLY, YOU SUCK. 408 00:23:23,750 --> 00:23:24,750 YOU. 409 00:23:24,750 --> 00:23:26,291 YOU SUCK. 410 00:23:26,291 --> 00:23:27,500 REALLY, WOW. I'M PROUD. 411 00:23:29,166 --> 00:23:32,875 NO SPANKY WANKY! 412 00:23:32,875 --> 00:23:34,625 NO SPANKY WANKY. 413 00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:01,041 HI, JANE. HI, MR. MARTIN. 414 00:24:01,041 --> 00:24:02,583 HOW'S YOUR MOTHER? 415 00:24:02,583 --> 00:24:04,917 GREAT. OH, GOD, SHE'S GOOD. EVERYONE'S GOOD. THANK YOU. 416 00:24:04,917 --> 00:24:06,750 YOUR GRANDMOTHER? 417 00:24:06,750 --> 00:24:08,333 EVERYONE'S GREAT. 418 00:24:08,333 --> 00:24:11,834 THAT'S FINE. THAT'S FINE. WHAT YOU GOT FOR ME TODAY? 419 00:24:11,834 --> 00:24:15,500 OH, JUST A DRESS, BUT I'LL BE BACK FOR IT IN A FEW DAYS. SO NO HURRY. 420 00:24:15,500 --> 00:24:16,667 ANY STAINS? 421 00:24:16,667 --> 00:24:18,500 NO. 422 00:24:18,500 --> 00:24:19,542 WHAT'S THIS? 423 00:24:19,542 --> 00:24:20,792 WHAT? 424 00:24:20,792 --> 00:24:22,875 THIS. COME HERE. 425 00:24:22,875 --> 00:24:24,959 A STAIN? 426 00:24:24,959 --> 00:24:27,417 THIS IS GONNA BE A TOUGH ONE. 427 00:24:30,250 --> 00:24:34,792 OH, WOW, I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE THAT. I MUST'VE SPILLED SOME SODA ON ME LAST NIGHT. 428 00:24:34,792 --> 00:24:39,417 NO, NO, THIS IS NOT SODA. THINK, JANE. THINK! 429 00:24:39,417 --> 00:24:43,792 IF I KNOW WHAT IT IS, IT'S EASIER FOR ME TO REMOVE. 430 00:24:43,792 --> 00:24:45,875 HUH? 431 00:24:45,875 --> 00:24:50,000 AH, THE FIELD TRIP. COME IN, CHILDREN. COME IN. 432 00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:53,542 COME IN. YES, YES, COME IN. 433 00:24:53,542 --> 00:24:56,458 -GOOD AFTERNOON, MRS. FRANKLIN. -HI, MR. MARTIN. 434 00:24:56,458 --> 00:24:59,417 OKAY, NOW ON TODAY'S FIELD TRIP, 435 00:24:59,417 --> 00:25:02,250 WE ARE GOING TO LEARN ABOUT CLEANLINESS. 436 00:25:04,834 --> 00:25:07,125 JANE? 437 00:25:07,125 --> 00:25:09,291 JANE BURNS! HEY. 438 00:25:09,291 --> 00:25:11,917 OH, SWEETHEART, I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU SINCE I TAUGHT YOU 439 00:25:11,917 --> 00:25:13,792 IN THIRD GRADE! 440 00:25:17,583 --> 00:25:22,750 -TOP OF THE MORNING, MR. MARTIN. -HELLO, FATHER FLYNN. 441 00:25:24,125 --> 00:25:26,125 AS I LIVE AND BREATHE, ISN'T IT? 442 00:25:26,125 --> 00:25:28,959 IT IS LITTLE MARY JANE BURNS! 443 00:25:28,959 --> 00:25:32,917 WHAT A COINCIDENCE! I'M HAVING SUPPER WITH YOUR PARENTS TONIGHT. 444 00:25:32,917 --> 00:25:36,417 QUITE A STAIN YOU GOT THERE, LITTLE JANIE. 445 00:25:36,417 --> 00:25:38,083 SO, HOW WAS IT? WAS IT FUN? 446 00:25:38,083 --> 00:25:42,208 OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD. I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T TELL YOU THIS. 447 00:25:42,208 --> 00:25:46,083 APPARENTLY, ONE OF THE GUYS WHO WAS AT THE PARTY, LIKE, FLIPPED OUT. 448 00:25:46,083 --> 00:25:49,959 WAS OUT ON THE BALCONY AND HE WAS SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS, 449 00:25:49,959 --> 00:25:56,250 "CHRISTINA! HAS ANYONE SEEN MY LITTLE CHRISTINA?" 450 00:25:56,250 --> 00:25:59,625 AND THEN HE JUMPS OFF THE BALCONY AND HE DIES BECAUSE YOU'RE A PUSSY. 451 00:25:59,625 --> 00:26:01,834 I DON'T KNOW. WHY DIDN'T YOU GO? 452 00:26:01,834 --> 00:26:05,291 I WAS GOING TO. I WAS. I WAS GOING TO AND THEN I WASN'T. 453 00:26:05,291 --> 00:26:08,792 -THEN I DON'T KNOW. I CALLED HIM AT THE HOTEL THIS MORNING. -WAIT. HOLD ON. 454 00:26:08,792 --> 00:26:11,792 REWIND FOR ONE SECOND. YOU CALLED HIM AT THE HOTEL? 455 00:26:12,917 --> 00:26:14,458 WELL, WHAT DID HE SAY? 456 00:26:14,458 --> 00:26:15,667 NOTHING. HE SAID NOTHING. 457 00:26:15,667 --> 00:26:17,417 OKAY? NOTHING. 458 00:26:17,417 --> 00:26:19,166 WHY? HE CHECKED OUT ALREADY. 459 00:26:19,166 --> 00:26:22,708 OKAY, LET'S JUST SUM THIS UP REAL QUICKLY. 460 00:26:22,708 --> 00:26:24,792 IN THE BATHROOM WE HATE HIM, 461 00:26:24,792 --> 00:26:26,708 YET WE CALL HIM BY NAME. 462 00:26:26,708 --> 00:26:29,083 THEN WE THROW BEER ON HIM. 463 00:26:29,083 --> 00:26:32,667 -THEN WE LAUGH AND WE FLIRT AND WE DANCED WITH HIM. -IT WASN'T BEER. 464 00:26:32,667 --> 00:26:34,834 THEN WE CASUALLY CALL HIM AT THE HOTEL. 465 00:26:34,834 --> 00:26:38,291 -THEN WE OBSESS ABOUT THE CASUAL CALL. -OBSESS? 466 00:26:38,291 --> 00:26:41,458 -I'M NOT OBSESSING. I'M NOT OBSESSING. -I'M JUST WONDERING. 467 00:26:41,458 --> 00:26:44,291 COULD ALL THIS ERRATIC BEHAVIOR POSSIBLY BE 468 00:26:44,291 --> 00:26:45,667 BECAUSE THIS GUY DID GET UNDER YOUR SKIN? 469 00:26:45,667 --> 00:26:47,291 THAT YOU MIGHT REALLY LIKE HIM? NO! 470 00:26:47,291 --> 00:26:48,417 NO! 471 00:26:48,417 --> 00:26:49,834 YOU REGRET NOT GOING TO THIS PARTY 472 00:26:49,834 --> 00:26:51,875 BECAUSE NOW YOU WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT MIGHT HAVE HAPPENED? 473 00:26:51,875 --> 00:26:54,333 NO, OKAY? I DON'T REGRET IT. 474 00:26:54,333 --> 00:26:58,834 AND IF I HAD ANY REGRETS, IT WOULD BE THIS CONVERSATION, RIGHT NOW, HAVING IT WITH YOU. 475 00:26:58,834 --> 00:27:00,291 CAN WE JUST DROP IT? 476 00:27:00,291 --> 00:27:01,417 OKAY, I'M SORRY I BROUGHT IT UP. 477 00:27:01,417 --> 00:27:03,458 I WON'T MENTION IT AGAIN. 478 00:27:05,583 --> 00:27:10,542 YOU KNOW, EVEN IF I DID REGRET NOT GOING TO THE PARTY, 479 00:27:10,542 --> 00:27:13,125 IT'S NOT LIKE I CAN DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT NOW. 480 00:27:13,125 --> 00:27:17,542 SO, I MEAN, SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO... LET THESE THINGS GO, RIGHT? 481 00:27:17,542 --> 00:27:18,667 EXACTLY. 482 00:27:18,667 --> 00:27:20,083 ALTHOUGH, 483 00:27:20,083 --> 00:27:23,000 IF THERE WAS REGRET, YOU KNOW, 484 00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:28,708 I SUPPOSE THERE'S ALWAYS JUST SOMETHING YOU COULD DO ABOUT IT, RIGHT? 485 00:27:28,708 --> 00:27:32,000 LIKE YOU COULD SHOW UP AT HIS BROTHER'S WEDDING, 'CAUSE IT IS HIS BROTHER. 486 00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:35,208 THAT'S ONLY IF YOU REGRETTED IT, WHICH I DON'T REGRET IT. 487 00:27:35,208 --> 00:27:37,291 REALLY. I JUST DON'T REGRET IT. 488 00:27:37,291 --> 00:27:40,583 REGRETTING IS SUCH A WASTE OF TIME. IT REALLY IS. IT'S A WASTE OF TIME. 489 00:27:40,583 --> 00:27:43,375 HONEY, CAN YOU JUST ADMIT THAT YOU REGRET NOT GOING TO THIS PARTY? 490 00:27:43,375 --> 00:27:46,041 OKAY, FINE. I REGRET NOT GOING TO THE PARTY. 491 00:27:46,041 --> 00:27:48,417 I KNOW. I'M LETTING IT GO. I'M OVER IT. I'M OVER IT. 492 00:27:49,708 --> 00:27:52,667 HI, HONEY. HOW'D IT GO? 493 00:27:52,667 --> 00:27:53,708 FINE. NO PROBLEM. 494 00:27:53,708 --> 00:27:54,667 GOOD. 495 00:27:54,667 --> 00:27:57,625 SO, DID WE HAVE FUN LAST NIGHT? 496 00:27:59,917 --> 00:28:02,333 YES, I DID. IT WAS GREAT. YOU GUYS WERE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. 497 00:28:02,333 --> 00:28:04,250 A TRANSITION GUY IS JUST WHAT I NEEDED. 498 00:28:04,250 --> 00:28:07,417 GOOD! SO HOW WAS HE? WAS HE GOOD? 499 00:28:07,417 --> 00:28:11,000 HE WAS VERY SWEET AND COMPLIMENTARY. 500 00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:12,959 AND VERY INTO PLEASING ME FIRST. 501 00:28:12,959 --> 00:28:15,917 SO, HOW WAS GIRTH? 502 00:28:15,917 --> 00:28:17,875 AVERAGE-ISH. 503 00:28:17,875 --> 00:28:22,125 AVERAGE-ISH. THAT'S GOOD. SO, WHAT DID YOU TELL HIM? 504 00:28:22,125 --> 00:28:23,708 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 505 00:28:23,708 --> 00:28:26,333 WHAT DO WE ALWAYS TELL THEM, NO MATTER WHAT? 506 00:28:26,333 --> 00:28:27,417 OH. 507 00:28:29,917 --> 00:28:32,792 OH, MY GOD! 508 00:28:32,792 --> 00:28:35,875 YOUR PENIS IS SO BIG! 509 00:28:35,875 --> 00:28:38,125 GOOD GIRL! 510 00:28:38,125 --> 00:28:40,792 YOUR PENIS IS SO THICK! 511 00:28:42,542 --> 00:28:45,792 OH! YOUR PENIS IS JUST SO PRETTY! 512 00:28:49,417 --> 00:28:51,583 YOU GOT A HANDSOME DICK! 513 00:28:54,083 --> 00:28:55,667 YOUR PENIS! IT'S SO... 514 00:28:56,834 --> 00:28:58,417 ...HARD! 515 00:28:58,417 --> 00:29:02,250 YOUR PENIS IS JUST SO LARGE! 516 00:29:02,250 --> 00:29:06,333 MY BODY IS A MOVIE... 517 00:29:06,333 --> 00:29:10,000 ...AND YOUR PENIS IS THE STAR! 518 00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:13,375 OH! OH! OH! 519 00:29:13,375 --> 00:29:17,041 YOU'RE TOO BIG TO FIT IN HERE 520 00:29:17,041 --> 00:29:19,959 TOO BIG TO FIT IN HERE. OW! 521 00:29:19,959 --> 00:29:23,166 TOO BIG TO FIT IN HERE! OH! OH! OH! 522 00:29:29,166 --> 00:29:31,875 ♪ YOU'RE TOO BIG TO FIT IN HERE 523 00:29:31,875 --> 00:29:33,875 ♪ TOO BIG TO FIT IN HERE 524 00:29:33,875 --> 00:29:36,166 ♪ TOO BIG TO FIT IN HERE ♪ 525 00:29:38,667 --> 00:29:40,333 OH, MY GOD. 526 00:29:40,333 --> 00:29:41,458 OH, MY GOD, IT'S FAME. 527 00:29:41,458 --> 00:29:43,667 WE'RE IN FAME, RIGHT NOW. 528 00:29:55,208 --> 00:29:57,041 ♪ WHAT A LOVELY RIDE 529 00:29:57,041 --> 00:29:58,667 ♪ YOUR PENIS IS A THRILL 530 00:29:58,667 --> 00:30:00,917 ♪ YOUR PENIS IS A CADILLAC 531 00:30:00,917 --> 00:30:02,667 ♪ A GIANT COUPE DE VILLE 532 00:30:02,667 --> 00:30:04,708 ♪ YOUR PENIS PACKS A WALLOP 533 00:30:04,708 --> 00:30:06,542 ♪ YOUR PENIS BRINGS A LOAD 534 00:30:06,542 --> 00:30:08,917 ♪ AND WHEN IT MAKES DELIVERIES 535 00:30:08,917 --> 00:30:11,291 ♪ IT NEEDS ITS OWN ZIP CODE 536 00:30:11,291 --> 00:30:14,375 ♪ NINE DOUBLE-ZERO PENIS 537 00:30:14,375 --> 00:30:16,375 ♪ YOU'RE TOO BIG TO FIT IN HERE 538 00:30:16,375 --> 00:30:18,792 ♪ TOO BIG TO FIT IN HERE 539 00:30:18,792 --> 00:30:20,583 ♪ TOO BIG TO FIT IN HERE 540 00:30:22,875 --> 00:30:25,041 ♪ YOUR PENIS IS SO STRONG 541 00:30:25,041 --> 00:30:27,250 ♪ YOUR PENIS IS SO SMOOTH 542 00:30:27,250 --> 00:30:31,083 ♪ YOUR PENIS HAS GOT RHYTHM YOUR PENIS MAKES ME GROOVE 543 00:30:31,083 --> 00:30:33,417 ♪ YOUR PENIS IS A DREAM 544 00:30:33,417 --> 00:30:35,250 ♪ THE BIGGEST ONE I'VE SEEN 545 00:30:35,250 --> 00:30:37,583 ♪ IT'S OOZY AND IT'S GREEN ♪ 546 00:30:37,583 --> 00:30:39,083 EW. 547 00:30:39,083 --> 00:30:40,750 SORRY. 548 00:30:40,750 --> 00:30:43,166 ♪ YOU'RE TOO BIG TO FIT IN HERE 549 00:30:43,166 --> 00:30:45,417 ♪ TOO BIG TO FIT IN HERE 550 00:30:45,417 --> 00:30:47,375 ♪ TOO BIG TO FIT IN HERE 551 00:30:48,959 --> 00:30:51,333 ♪ YOU'RE TOO BIG TO FIT IN HERE 552 00:30:51,333 --> 00:30:53,291 ♪ TOO BIG TO FIT IN HERE 553 00:30:53,291 --> 00:30:55,375 ♪ TOO BIG TO FIT IN HERE 554 00:30:57,667 --> 00:30:59,417 ♪ YOUR PENIS IS SO BIG 555 00:30:59,417 --> 00:31:01,708 ♪ YOUR PENIS IS SO THICK 556 00:31:01,708 --> 00:31:03,625 ♪ YOUR PENIS IS SO PRETTY 557 00:31:03,625 --> 00:31:05,458 ♪ YOU'VE GOT TO HAVE A LICK 558 00:31:05,458 --> 00:31:07,417 ♪ YOUR PENIS IS SO HARD 559 00:31:07,417 --> 00:31:09,917 ♪ YOUR PENIS IS SO LARGE 560 00:31:09,917 --> 00:31:11,792 ♪ MY BODY IS A MOVIE 561 00:31:11,792 --> 00:31:14,083 ♪ AND YOUR PENIS IS THE STAR 562 00:31:14,083 --> 00:31:16,917 ♪ STARRING YOUR PENIS 563 00:31:16,917 --> 00:31:19,625 ♪ YOU'RE TOO BIG TO FIT IN HERE 564 00:31:19,625 --> 00:31:21,708 ♪ TOO BIG TO FIT IN HERE 565 00:31:21,708 --> 00:31:23,667 ♪ TOO BIG TO FIT IN HERE 566 00:31:25,458 --> 00:31:27,875 ♪ YOU'RE TOO BIG TO FIT IN HERE 567 00:31:27,875 --> 00:31:29,834 ♪ TOO BIG TO FIT IN HERE 568 00:31:29,834 --> 00:31:31,834 ♪ TOO BIG TO FIT IN HERE ♪ 569 00:32:01,917 --> 00:32:03,917 COME ON! 570 00:32:03,917 --> 00:32:05,375 HOW MUCH TIME WE GOT? 571 00:32:05,375 --> 00:32:06,583 WE'VE GOT LIKE THREE HOURS BEFORE THE REHEARSAL. 572 00:32:06,583 --> 00:32:09,375 HIT THE BALL. 573 00:32:09,375 --> 00:32:10,959 FORE! OH, GOOD SHOT. 574 00:32:10,959 --> 00:32:15,583 I'M GONNA SHOVE THAT CLUB UP YOUR ASS, YOU DICK LICKER! 575 00:32:15,583 --> 00:32:17,083 WHAT, ARE YOU UP BY LIKE TWO NOW? 576 00:32:17,083 --> 00:32:19,500 I GUESS. 577 00:32:19,500 --> 00:32:21,250 WELL, LISTEN. IT DOESN'T GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS. 578 00:32:21,250 --> 00:32:23,083 TO THE MARRIAGE. TO THE MARRIAGE. 579 00:32:23,083 --> 00:32:24,458 TO...TO THE BRIDE. 580 00:32:24,458 --> 00:32:26,041 TO THE BRIDE. 581 00:32:26,041 --> 00:32:27,500 YEAH. 582 00:32:27,500 --> 00:32:29,166 TO 50 YEARS WITH THE SAME WOMAN. 583 00:32:30,792 --> 00:32:32,333 THAT'S REALLY DEPRESSING. 584 00:32:33,667 --> 00:32:34,917 SORRY. 585 00:32:34,917 --> 00:32:38,000 SAGGY TITS. 586 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:39,708 BE ABLE TO USE THEM AS A BELT BY THEN. 587 00:32:40,834 --> 00:32:45,375 -OR JUST TUCK 'EM IN HER SOCKS, YOU KNOW. -OKAY! 588 00:32:45,375 --> 00:32:49,250 GOD, THIS MARRIAGE IS SUCH A BIG LEAP, YOU KNOW. 589 00:32:49,250 --> 00:32:50,458 IT'S REALLY INTENSE, PETE. 590 00:32:50,458 --> 00:32:52,000 BUT IF IT'S THE RIGHT WOMAN... 591 00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:54,750 YEAH, I GUESS. 592 00:32:56,542 --> 00:32:59,250 GET UP A LITTLE. YES. FORE! 593 00:32:59,250 --> 00:33:03,375 YOU MOTHERFUCKER! STOP BOTHERING ME! 594 00:33:03,375 --> 00:33:05,583 YOU'RE DRIVING RIGHT INTO 'EM. 595 00:33:05,583 --> 00:33:08,708 HEY, WHAT ABOUT JOHN? I HEAR HE'S STILL AWOL FROM THAT BACHELOR PARTY. 596 00:33:08,708 --> 00:33:11,041 HE SHOWED UP LAST NIGHT. HE'S MISSING AN EYEBROW 597 00:33:11,041 --> 00:33:13,125 AND HE'S GOT A TATTOO ON HIS ASS THAT SAYS "BITCH." 598 00:33:13,125 --> 00:33:16,708 I AM NOT AN ANIMAL! 599 00:33:16,708 --> 00:33:20,208 VERY GOOD. OH, HEY, SPEAKING OF BITCHES. 600 00:33:20,208 --> 00:33:24,750 WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH YOU THAT NIGHT AT THE CLUB WITH THAT HOTTIE? 601 00:33:24,750 --> 00:33:26,708 I MEAN, JESUS! NOTHIN'. 602 00:33:26,708 --> 00:33:29,250 I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKIN' ABOUT. 603 00:33:29,250 --> 00:33:31,750 -I THINK YOU LIKED HER A LITTLE BIT. -NO, I DIDN'T. 604 00:33:31,750 --> 00:33:34,291 -YEAH, YOU DID. DON'T LIE TO ME. -HEY, HEY, HEY. 605 00:33:34,291 --> 00:33:37,291 DON'T LIE... DON'T LIE TO DARTH, LUKE. 606 00:33:43,250 --> 00:33:44,792 I CAN SEE IT IN YOUR EYES, YOU LIKED HER. 607 00:33:48,500 --> 00:33:51,250 NOTHIN' I CAN DO ABOUT IT NOW. 608 00:33:51,250 --> 00:33:54,667 SHOULD HAVE POKED HER IN THE WHISKERS WHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE. 609 00:33:54,667 --> 00:33:57,083 WHAT'S THAT, GRAMPS? 610 00:33:57,083 --> 00:33:59,708 I MET THIS HOT YOUNG DISH 611 00:33:59,708 --> 00:34:03,917 AT THE WORLD'S FAIR BACK IN 1940. 612 00:34:03,917 --> 00:34:08,458 EVERY MOMENT WITH HER WAS LIKE A SLICE OF HEAVEN. 613 00:34:08,458 --> 00:34:10,750 I BET YOU REALLY MISS GRANDMA, HUH? 614 00:34:11,625 --> 00:34:14,000 AH, FUCK GRANDMA. 615 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:15,583 HUH? 616 00:34:15,583 --> 00:34:16,792 IT'S PEARL I'M TALKIN' ABOUT. 617 00:34:16,792 --> 00:34:19,333 SHE WAS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE. 618 00:34:19,333 --> 00:34:22,792 DON'T EVER LET THESE MOMENTS PASS YOU BY. 619 00:34:27,250 --> 00:34:29,291 FUCKIN' GRANDMA! 620 00:34:29,291 --> 00:34:31,291 WOULD YOU BE NICE? 621 00:34:32,291 --> 00:34:34,792 COME ON, SEVEN-SIX. 622 00:34:39,041 --> 00:34:42,000 FORE! 623 00:34:45,458 --> 00:34:49,917 ♪ THE LIGHTS ARE OFF AGAIN 624 00:34:49,917 --> 00:34:53,834 ♪ SHE TOOK ME BY SURPRISE 625 00:34:53,834 --> 00:34:57,375 ♪ SHE'S SO SENSITIVE 626 00:34:57,375 --> 00:35:00,500 ♪ SHOULD JUST HAPPEN SOMETIMES ♪ 627 00:35:00,500 --> 00:35:02,083 YOU SUCK! 628 00:35:02,083 --> 00:35:04,083 DAMN IT. 629 00:35:04,083 --> 00:35:05,667 BUT YOU SMELL SO MINTY FRESH NOW. 630 00:35:05,667 --> 00:35:07,917 WHAT DO YOU WANT? 631 00:35:07,917 --> 00:35:09,583 I NEED TO BORROW YOUR BLACK GUCCI BAG. 632 00:35:09,583 --> 00:35:10,708 GOD... 633 00:35:10,708 --> 00:35:12,750 HERE. 634 00:35:12,750 --> 00:35:14,708 IT'S IN THE LIVING ROOM. OKAY, WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHERE IN THE LIVING ROOM. 635 00:35:14,708 --> 00:35:16,834 -AND I DON'T FEEL LIKE LOOKING FOR IT, SO LET'S GO. -NO. 636 00:35:16,834 --> 00:35:20,000 WILL YOU HELP ME FIND IT, PLEASE? COME ON, PLEASE? 637 00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:25,041 WELL, SINCE I'M UP NOW AND YOU DECIDED TO TORTURE ME, I'LL GO AND GET IT! 638 00:35:26,667 --> 00:35:30,083 OH, I'M SORRY. OH, MY GOD. EXCUSE ME. 639 00:35:30,083 --> 00:35:34,250 UM, COULD YOU GUYS TELL ME WHERE THE BATHROOM IS? IT'S BEHIND YOU. 640 00:35:34,250 --> 00:35:36,917 OVER HERE? OOPS. 641 00:35:36,917 --> 00:35:41,041 UH... 642 00:35:41,041 --> 00:35:42,041 WELL, THANKS. 643 00:35:42,041 --> 00:35:44,000 OH, MY. 644 00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:45,708 OH MY COCK. 645 00:35:45,708 --> 00:35:49,542 OH, MY COCK. OH, MY COCK. OH, MY COCK. 646 00:35:54,125 --> 00:35:56,834 DO YOU GUYS HAVE ANY ADVIL? 647 00:35:56,834 --> 00:36:00,333 OH! 648 00:36:00,333 --> 00:36:03,500 JANIE. HE IS SO CUTE. 649 00:36:03,500 --> 00:36:06,542 SO STUPID. 650 00:36:06,542 --> 00:36:10,083 OH, BABE. CAN I GET THAT PURSE NOW, PLEASE? 651 00:36:10,083 --> 00:36:13,208 YES, YOU CAN GET THE PURSE. OKAY. NO, NOW. 652 00:36:13,208 --> 00:36:14,583 HERE'S THE PURSE. 653 00:36:14,583 --> 00:36:16,792 AH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 654 00:36:20,917 --> 00:36:22,583 WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 655 00:36:22,583 --> 00:36:24,917 YOU AND I ARE GOING TO A WEDDING. 656 00:36:24,917 --> 00:36:26,291 WHAT WEDDING? WHO'S GETTING MARRIED? 657 00:36:26,291 --> 00:36:29,542 WE ARE GOING TO PETER'S BROTHER'S WEDDING. 658 00:36:29,542 --> 00:36:31,917 PETER? NOW LISTEN. 659 00:36:31,917 --> 00:36:34,458 THIS SOMERSET PLACE WHERE THEY LIVE IS LIKE SOME SMALL FREAK-ASS TOWN 660 00:36:34,458 --> 00:36:38,625 ABOUT THREE HOURS NORTH, SO WE HAVE TO GET ON THE ROAD IF WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT ON TIME. 661 00:36:38,625 --> 00:36:40,417 WHAT? PETER... 662 00:36:40,417 --> 00:36:43,959 PETER? I'M NOT GOING TO PETER'S BROTHER'S WEDDING. 663 00:36:43,959 --> 00:36:46,708 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YESTERDAY YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO GO. 664 00:36:46,708 --> 00:36:48,041 SO I WENT AND, YOU KNOW... 665 00:36:48,041 --> 00:36:49,542 COURTNEY. 666 00:36:49,542 --> 00:36:50,667 I WAS JOKING. 667 00:36:50,667 --> 00:36:52,125 OH, NO, YOU WEREN'T. 668 00:36:52,125 --> 00:36:55,500 UH, YES, I WAS. 669 00:36:55,500 --> 00:36:59,291 50% OF WHAT PEOPLE SAY WHEN THEY'RE JOKING IS TRUE. 670 00:36:59,291 --> 00:37:03,291 WHICH MEANS THAT YOU DO WANNA GO TO THIS WEDDING, BUT YOU'RE TOO AFRAID TO ADMIT IT. 671 00:37:03,291 --> 00:37:07,291 SO BY MAKING SOME SORT OF JOKE ABOUT IT, YOU GET TO SAY WHAT YOU REALLY WANT 672 00:37:07,291 --> 00:37:09,166 WITHOUT BEING VULNERABLE. 673 00:37:09,166 --> 00:37:10,458 RIGHT? 674 00:37:10,458 --> 00:37:11,458 MAYBE. 675 00:37:11,458 --> 00:37:13,458 OKAY, GOOD. 676 00:37:13,458 --> 00:37:15,583 THE WEDDING STARTS AT 5:00. I REFUSE TO BE LATE. 677 00:37:15,583 --> 00:37:18,166 I WANT YOU TO PUT SOME CLOTHES ON. NOW. THANK YOU. 678 00:37:19,291 --> 00:37:20,500 THAT WAS A NICE ONE. 679 00:37:20,500 --> 00:37:21,917 THANKS. 680 00:37:21,917 --> 00:37:25,458 ♪ THERE SHE GOES AGAIN SLIPPING AND SLIDING 681 00:37:25,458 --> 00:37:29,667 ♪ DUCKING AND DIVING THERE SHE GOES AGAIN 682 00:37:29,667 --> 00:37:32,166 ♪ TRYING ALL THIS NEW STUFF TRYING TO BE FLY 683 00:37:32,166 --> 00:37:35,750 ♪ THERE SHE GOES AGAIN SLIPPING AND SLIDING ♪ 684 00:37:35,750 --> 00:37:37,000 WATCH THE ROAD, COURTNEY! 685 00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:38,333 I GOT IT. I AM WATCHING THE ROAD. 686 00:37:38,333 --> 00:37:41,333 THAT'S IT. ONCE WE GET OFF THE 140... 687 00:37:41,333 --> 00:37:43,250 UH-HUH. 688 00:37:43,250 --> 00:37:45,417 WE'LL TAKE THE 95, GET OFF ON THE SOMERSET EXIT. 689 00:37:45,417 --> 00:37:49,834 ALL RIGHT. THEN WE'LL JUST DRIVE AROUND AND WE CAN FIND THE CHURCH NO PROBLEM. TA-DA! 690 00:37:54,291 --> 00:37:56,166 EW! WHAT IS THAT? 691 00:37:56,166 --> 00:37:57,458 WHAT IS WHAT? 692 00:37:57,458 --> 00:37:58,834 YOU DON'T SMELL THAT? 693 00:37:58,834 --> 00:38:01,500 -SMELL WHAT? I DON'T SMELL ANYTHING. -OH! 694 00:38:01,500 --> 00:38:04,667 -YOU'RE USED TO IT. THAT'S WHAT'S REALLY SCARY. -I DON'T SMELL ANYTHING. 695 00:38:04,667 --> 00:38:08,333 IT SMELLS LIKE MOLDY ASS IS WHAT IT SMELLS LIKE IN HERE. 696 00:38:08,333 --> 00:38:11,708 WAIT A MINUTE. COME TO THINK OF IT, I DID LEAVE SOME ASS IN THE BACK. 697 00:38:11,708 --> 00:38:14,041 YOU DID. 698 00:38:14,041 --> 00:38:15,708 ABOUT A WEEK AGO, I DID. IT MUST BE THE ASS. 699 00:38:15,708 --> 00:38:16,959 NO, NO... 700 00:38:16,959 --> 00:38:19,125 SIT DOWN, PLEASE. 701 00:38:19,125 --> 00:38:20,291 I'M SORRY. 702 00:38:20,291 --> 00:38:21,333 YOU'RE GONNA KILL... 703 00:38:21,333 --> 00:38:24,083 OW! 704 00:38:24,083 --> 00:38:26,083 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 705 00:38:26,083 --> 00:38:28,375 WHAT IS ALL THIS... 706 00:38:28,375 --> 00:38:30,083 NO, NO, NO, STOP. COME ON, PLEASE. LOOK, LOOK. 707 00:38:30,083 --> 00:38:33,250 JUST...JUST DON'T BE THROWING OUT ANYTHING I MIGHT NEED, OKAY? 708 00:38:33,250 --> 00:38:37,917 WHERE IS IT COMING FROM, COURTNEY? WHERE? I CAN STILL SMELL IT. 709 00:38:37,917 --> 00:38:39,375 MAYBE IT'S YOU. 710 00:38:39,375 --> 00:38:41,708 -SOMETHING CRAWL UP YOUR PUNANI? -HEY! 711 00:38:41,708 --> 00:38:45,917 LISTEN, I HAVE NEVER EVER HAD ANY COMPLAINTS 712 00:38:45,917 --> 00:38:47,125 IN THE PUNANI ODOR DEPARTMENT. 713 00:38:47,125 --> 00:38:49,208 WELL YOU KNOW WHAT, NEITHER HAVE I. OKAY? 714 00:38:49,208 --> 00:38:52,792 HIGH FIVE ON THE CLEAN PUNANI. 715 00:38:52,792 --> 00:38:54,083 OH. EW. 716 00:38:54,083 --> 00:38:55,250 WHAT? 717 00:38:55,250 --> 00:38:56,542 EW, EW, EW. WHAT IS THIS? 718 00:38:56,542 --> 00:38:57,917 WHAT IS WHAT? 719 00:38:57,917 --> 00:39:00,583 WHAT IS THIS? 720 00:39:00,583 --> 00:39:03,083 OH! I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW LONG IT'S BEEN IN HERE. 721 00:39:03,083 --> 00:39:05,792 WHAT IS IN HERE? 722 00:39:09,375 --> 00:39:10,708 NO! 723 00:39:10,708 --> 00:39:13,834 THAT IS NOT OKAY! IT ISN'T OKAY! 724 00:39:13,834 --> 00:39:18,125 YOU ARE A DISGUSTING, NASTY PIG. DO YOU UNDERSTAND? THERE WAS MAGGOTS ON THAT... 725 00:39:26,333 --> 00:39:29,125 EXCUSE ME. I'VE GOT MAGGOT JUICE ALL OVER ME. THERE IT IS. 726 00:39:29,125 --> 00:39:30,750 OH, PLEASE. 727 00:39:31,625 --> 00:39:35,417 LADIES ROOM. 728 00:39:35,417 --> 00:39:36,834 SOMEONE'S IN HERE. 729 00:39:36,834 --> 00:39:38,041 Sorry! 730 00:39:38,041 --> 00:39:39,375 IT MIGHT BE A WHILE. 731 00:39:39,375 --> 00:39:41,708 HOW LONG? 732 00:39:41,708 --> 00:39:45,458 LET ME PUT IT TO YOU THIS WAY. I HAD LAMB CURRY LAST NIGHT, AND I'M SHITTING OUT A BUICK. 733 00:39:45,458 --> 00:39:48,291 EW. 734 00:39:48,291 --> 00:39:50,250 WAS IT ABSOLUTELY VITAL FOR HER TO TELL US THAT? 735 00:39:53,625 --> 00:39:56,458 HELLO? 736 00:39:56,458 --> 00:39:57,750 HELLO? HELLO? 737 00:39:57,750 --> 00:39:59,125 IS IT ALL CLEAR? 738 00:40:00,125 --> 00:40:03,458 OH, GOD! THIS IS DISGUSTING. 739 00:40:03,458 --> 00:40:06,458 I FEEL LIKE I HAVE MAGGOTS ALL OVER ME. 740 00:40:06,458 --> 00:40:11,125 OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD. DON'T MOVE. DON'T MOVE. 741 00:40:11,125 --> 00:40:13,250 OH, STOP IT! 742 00:40:13,250 --> 00:40:15,125 I'M GONNA PEE IN MY PANTS. 743 00:40:16,208 --> 00:40:19,917 ALL RIGHT, I'LL JUST USE THE URINAL. 744 00:40:19,917 --> 00:40:22,083 YOU WANNA HEAR SOME POETRY? 745 00:40:22,083 --> 00:40:25,667 "THERE ONCE WAS A MAN FROM BANDOO, WHO FELL ASLEEP IN A CANOE. 746 00:40:25,667 --> 00:40:28,500 "HE DREAMED OF VENUS AND PLAYED WITH HIS PENIS 747 00:40:28,500 --> 00:40:32,208 "AND WOKE UP WITH A HANDFUL OF GOO." 748 00:40:32,208 --> 00:40:34,583 WAIT! DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH. DUDE, I GOTTA AIM. 749 00:40:34,583 --> 00:40:37,625 OH, GOD DARN IT. I THINK I PEED ON MYSELF. 750 00:40:37,625 --> 00:40:40,792 HMM. "FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD"? 751 00:40:40,792 --> 00:40:42,417 GOD! 752 00:40:42,417 --> 00:40:45,166 I'M FOLLOWING THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD. 753 00:40:45,166 --> 00:40:46,834 FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD. 754 00:40:46,834 --> 00:40:49,542 LA LA LA LA... OH! 755 00:40:49,542 --> 00:40:54,041 BUFFY! YOU LOOK LIKE MY OLD DOGGY BUFFY. 756 00:40:54,041 --> 00:40:58,375 -HELLO, GIRL. I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN... -OH MY GOD, IT'S ON MY HANDS! 757 00:40:58,375 --> 00:41:01,708 THERE'S A GOOD GIRL. WHAT YOU GOT, LITTLE GIRL? COME ON. 758 00:41:01,708 --> 00:41:05,083 WHAT YOU GOT? WHAT'S IN YOUR MOUTH? 759 00:41:05,083 --> 00:41:06,708 DAMN IT! 760 00:41:06,708 --> 00:41:08,000 WHAT YOU GOT IN THERE? 761 00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:10,291 -WHAT'S IN THERE? WHAT'S IN YOUR MOUTH? -CRAP! 762 00:41:10,291 --> 00:41:11,875 WHAT'S IN THERE? 763 00:41:11,875 --> 00:41:13,417 SURPRISE! 764 00:41:16,792 --> 00:41:19,166 OH, CHRISTINA! 765 00:41:26,041 --> 00:41:29,708 HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW WHAT A GLORY HOLE IS? 766 00:41:29,708 --> 00:41:32,208 WELL, UNLIKE MY WHORE FRIEND COURTNEY ROCKLIFFE, 767 00:41:32,208 --> 00:41:36,083 I DON'T USUALLY SPEND MUCH TIME IN MEN'S PUBLIC BATHROOMS, OKAY? 768 00:41:36,083 --> 00:41:40,625 THAT IS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. 769 00:41:40,625 --> 00:41:44,291 I MEAN, I FLEW ACROSS THAT ROOM. 770 00:41:44,291 --> 00:41:46,250 AND YOU GOT FUCKED IN THE EYE. 771 00:41:46,250 --> 00:41:50,500 I'M GLAD YOU FIND IT SO FUCKING AMUSING, OKAY? I REALLY DO. 772 00:41:50,500 --> 00:41:52,959 -COULD YOU PLEASE HAVE SOME COMPASSION? -I DO. I DO. 773 00:41:52,959 --> 00:41:55,542 -BECAUSE I COULD GO BLIND, OKAY? -NO, YOU COULD NOT. 774 00:41:55,542 --> 00:41:57,500 YES, I COULD. OW. 775 00:41:57,500 --> 00:41:59,417 ALL RIGHT, LET ME LOOK AT IT, OKAY? 776 00:41:59,417 --> 00:42:01,000 I MEAN, A PENIS IN MY EYE. 777 00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:02,750 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 778 00:42:02,750 --> 00:42:05,250 LET ME SEE. LET ME SEE. SHH. 779 00:42:05,250 --> 00:42:07,834 OKAY. ALL RIGHT. 780 00:42:07,834 --> 00:42:10,458 HOW IS IT? IS IT OKAY? YEAH, IT'S OKAY. 781 00:42:12,375 --> 00:42:13,750 BUT I THINK YOU'RE PREGNANT. 782 00:42:13,750 --> 00:42:20,041 WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP IT ALREADY? ALL RIGHT. 783 00:42:20,041 --> 00:42:22,917 NOW I WANT YOU TO REDRESS THE MANNEQUINS AND CHECK THE SOCK INVENTORY. 784 00:42:22,917 --> 00:42:26,291 COME ON, JANE. IT'S SATURDAY AND NOBODY'S HERE. AND MR. MOONEY... 785 00:42:26,291 --> 00:42:27,834 MR. MOONEY IS OFF SAILING WITH HIS BOY TOY, 786 00:42:27,834 --> 00:42:30,166 WHICH LEAVES ME IN CHARGE OF THE STORE, SO SHOO. 787 00:42:30,166 --> 00:42:32,291 SOMEBODY NEEDS TO GET SOME. 788 00:42:39,458 --> 00:42:43,208 LA LA LA, LA LA LA... 789 00:42:43,208 --> 00:42:45,458 OOH, THERE'S MY DIRTY GIRL. 790 00:42:45,458 --> 00:42:48,792 NO! NO! NO! 791 00:42:48,792 --> 00:42:50,834 IT'S ME, BABY! IT'S ME! IT'S ME! 792 00:42:52,625 --> 00:42:54,291 WHY ARE YOU DRESSED LIKE THAT? 793 00:42:54,291 --> 00:42:56,792 IT'S MY JOB. I WORK AT A CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL. 794 00:42:56,792 --> 00:42:58,667 HI. OH, HI. 795 00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:03,834 YOU LOOK SO CUTE. 796 00:43:05,792 --> 00:43:06,875 I'M HORNY. 797 00:43:06,875 --> 00:43:07,875 ME TOO. 798 00:43:14,875 --> 00:43:17,208 -YOU'RE GONNA LAUGH AT THIS ONE. -WHAT? 799 00:43:17,208 --> 00:43:19,583 YOU KNOW HOW I SAID I HAD TO DO, UH, LAUNDRY TODAY? 800 00:43:19,583 --> 00:43:23,583 IT'S 'CAUSE I RAN OUT OF CLEAN UNDERWEAR, HONEY. I'VE ONLY GOT THE SKANKY ONES LEFT. 801 00:43:23,583 --> 00:43:27,125 TELL ME ABOUT IT, DUDE. 802 00:43:27,125 --> 00:43:30,041 OH, MY GOD. YOU ARE SO UNBELIEVABLE. 803 00:43:30,041 --> 00:43:32,625 " PLAYING ON RADIO) 804 00:43:32,625 --> 00:43:35,708 NO WAY. IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS? 805 00:43:35,708 --> 00:43:38,792 SPRING BREAK, 1994, BABY. 806 00:43:38,792 --> 00:43:40,375 OH, MY GOD. TURN IT UP. 807 00:43:40,375 --> 00:43:44,166 ♪ LIKE A WORN-OUT RECORDING 808 00:43:44,166 --> 00:43:47,166 ♪ OF A FAVORITE SONG 809 00:43:47,166 --> 00:43:51,125 ♪ SO WHILE SHE LAY THERE SLEEPING 810 00:43:51,125 --> 00:43:54,917 ♪ I READ THE PAPER IN BED 811 00:43:54,917 --> 00:43:58,333 ♪ AND IN THE PERSONAL COLUMNS 812 00:43:58,333 --> 00:44:01,375 ♪ THERE WAS THIS LETTER I READ 813 00:44:01,375 --> 00:44:05,000 ♪ IF YOU LIKE PINA COLADAS 814 00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:08,500 ♪ AND GETTING CAUGHT IN THE RAIN 815 00:44:08,500 --> 00:44:12,000 ♪ IF YOU'RE NOT INTO YOGA 816 00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:14,291 ♪ IF YOU HAVE HALF A BRAIN ♪ 817 00:44:14,291 --> 00:44:15,875 OH, MY GOD. BRAIN. 818 00:44:15,875 --> 00:44:17,291 JANE! 819 00:44:17,291 --> 00:44:19,542 YOU AND I ARE SO AWESOME TOGETHER. 820 00:44:19,542 --> 00:44:21,750 WE'RE LIKE TWO PEAS IN A POD. 821 00:44:21,750 --> 00:44:22,917 WE'RE LIKE OIL AND VINEGAR. 822 00:44:22,917 --> 00:44:24,041 SHUT UP! 823 00:44:24,041 --> 00:44:25,375 OH, JANE! 824 00:44:25,375 --> 00:44:27,708 I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M FUCKING A PURPLE ELEPHANT. 825 00:44:27,708 --> 00:44:31,834 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SHE'S NOT HERE? WE HAVE CUSTOMERS, MISSY. 826 00:44:31,834 --> 00:44:34,500 I'M SORRY, MR. MOONEY. I'LL GO CHECK UPSTAIRS. 827 00:44:34,500 --> 00:44:36,792 GOD, I'M GONE FOR ONE DAY, THE PLACE TURNS INTO INDONESIA. 828 00:44:39,375 --> 00:44:40,708 OH, JANE. OH, JANE. 829 00:44:40,708 --> 00:44:42,333 JANE? 830 00:44:42,333 --> 00:44:43,542 JANIE WANIE. JANIE WANIE! 831 00:44:43,542 --> 00:44:44,959 JANE? 832 00:44:44,959 --> 00:44:48,250 OH, MY GOD. ARE YOU OKAY? 833 00:44:48,250 --> 00:44:49,750 WHAT IS GOING ON? YES, I'M FINE. 834 00:44:49,750 --> 00:44:53,041 NOTHING. I'M JUST A LITTLE FRANTIC. 835 00:44:53,041 --> 00:44:56,166 I HAVE A MILLION THINGS TO DO TODAY. AND I'M DIZZY. I'M SO DIZZY. 836 00:44:56,166 --> 00:45:00,542 WELL, MR. MOONEY IS DOWNSTAIRS AND HE IS P-I-S-E-D. 837 00:45:00,542 --> 00:45:01,792 "PISED?" 838 00:45:12,125 --> 00:45:13,542 WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? 839 00:45:13,542 --> 00:45:15,291 I WAS UPSTAIRS TAKING INVENTORY. 840 00:45:15,291 --> 00:45:17,792 YEAH, MY AUNT FANNY. 841 00:45:17,792 --> 00:45:19,458 EW. 842 00:45:19,458 --> 00:45:20,458 GALLINI'S. 843 00:45:20,458 --> 00:45:22,458 COURTNEY : HELLO. IS JANE THERE? 844 00:45:22,458 --> 00:45:24,458 YES, SHE IS. 845 00:45:24,458 --> 00:45:25,792 HAVE A LOVELY DAY! 846 00:45:27,834 --> 00:45:29,000 HELLO? 847 00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:31,792 JANIE! JANIE! 848 00:45:31,792 --> 00:45:35,000 SORRY, GUYS. I CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW. I'M REALLY BUSY. 849 00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:37,375 WE WERE JUST WONDERING, 850 00:45:37,375 --> 00:45:43,083 ♪ DO YOU LIKE PINA COLADAS AND GETTING CAUGHT IN THE RAIN ♪ 851 00:45:43,083 --> 00:45:44,500 SHIT. 852 00:46:03,458 --> 00:46:04,708 OH, SHIT. 853 00:46:04,708 --> 00:46:05,667 WHAT? 854 00:46:05,667 --> 00:46:08,208 I DROPPED THE THINGY TO MY LIP GLOSS. 855 00:46:08,208 --> 00:46:10,500 -COULD YOU GET IT FOR ME, SWEETIE? -I'LL GET IT. 856 00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:16,250 IT'S TOO FAR OVER. IT'S TOO FAR OVER. I'LL GET IT. 857 00:46:16,250 --> 00:46:21,542 HOLD ONTO IT. KEEP STEERING. I'LL KEEP GOING. 858 00:46:23,166 --> 00:46:24,041 YEAH, IT'S RIGHT, I BELIEVE... 859 00:46:24,041 --> 00:46:25,333 HMM? 860 00:46:25,333 --> 00:46:26,458 HOO! 861 00:46:35,875 --> 00:46:37,291 YEAH, BABY! 862 00:46:37,291 --> 00:46:38,750 OH, YES. 863 00:46:41,959 --> 00:46:43,333 WHOO! YES! LET ME HAVE SOME OF THAT! 864 00:46:43,333 --> 00:46:45,208 OH YEAH, RIGHT THERE. 865 00:46:45,208 --> 00:46:46,542 NO, THAT'S NOT IT. 866 00:46:46,542 --> 00:46:49,542 OH! YOU LIKE THAT? 867 00:46:49,542 --> 00:46:54,583 YEAH, LET ME HAVE SOME OF THAT! 868 00:46:54,583 --> 00:46:56,375 OH, YES, DON'T STOP. 869 00:46:56,375 --> 00:46:57,542 I'M NOT GONNA STOP. 870 00:47:08,542 --> 00:47:09,834 YEAH. YEAH! 871 00:47:13,708 --> 00:47:15,041 YES! 872 00:47:24,583 --> 00:47:28,125 OKAY, I FOUND IT. JESUS, I ALMOST GOT SMOTHERED DOWN THERE. 873 00:47:29,208 --> 00:47:31,750 ARE YOU OKAY? 874 00:47:31,750 --> 00:47:33,792 YOU GOOD? HUH? 875 00:47:33,792 --> 00:47:36,375 YEAH, NO, I'M GOOD. I'M GOOD. NEVER BETTER. NEVER BETTER. 876 00:47:36,375 --> 00:47:38,375 LET'S GET ON THE SAME PAGE 877 00:47:38,375 --> 00:47:40,208 ABOUT WHAT WE'RE GONNA SAY ONCE WE GET TO THE WEDDING. 878 00:47:40,208 --> 00:47:42,125 GAME PLAN. 879 00:47:42,125 --> 00:47:45,375 WALK UP TO HIM AND BE LIKE, "PETER, IS THAT YOU? 880 00:47:45,375 --> 00:47:48,500 "OH, MY GOD. MY FRIEND COURTNEY, THAT HOT BABE OVER THERE, 881 00:47:48,500 --> 00:47:50,000 "SHE AND I WENT TO COLLEGE WITH THE BRIDE." 882 00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:51,667 "IT'S UNBELIEVABLE!" 883 00:47:51,667 --> 00:47:53,208 NO, I CAN BELIEVE THAT. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT? 884 00:47:53,208 --> 00:47:55,792 IT'S UNBELIEVABLE. FREAKY! 885 00:47:57,083 --> 00:48:00,458 ♪ BUT LOVE IS IN THE AIR 886 00:48:00,458 --> 00:48:04,792 ♪ OH, WHAT A PERFECT DAY TO FLY 887 00:48:04,792 --> 00:48:08,583 ♪ NOTHING COULD COMPARE 888 00:48:08,583 --> 00:48:13,166 ♪ WHAT A WASTE TO GO AND WAVE GOOD-BYE 889 00:48:13,166 --> 00:48:16,667 ♪ LOVE IS IN THE AIR 890 00:48:16,667 --> 00:48:20,959 ♪ WHAT A PERFECT DAY TO FLY 891 00:48:20,959 --> 00:48:24,125 ♪ NOTHING COULD COMPARE 892 00:48:24,125 --> 00:48:27,500 ♪ WHAT A WASTE TO GO AND WAVE GOOD-BYE ♪ 893 00:48:27,500 --> 00:48:31,083 AFTERNOON! 894 00:48:31,083 --> 00:48:35,583 WOW, WOW, WOW, WOW. WOW! OH, WOW. 895 00:48:35,583 --> 00:48:39,458 -MISS VERA'S HAS PLENTY TO OFFER US, DOESN'T SHE? -YES, PLENTY OF CRAP. 896 00:48:39,458 --> 00:48:41,500 WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS. IT'S FABULOUS. 897 00:48:41,500 --> 00:48:43,333 ALL RIGHT. LET'S GO. OKAY, LET'S GO. 898 00:48:43,333 --> 00:48:45,208 WELCOME TO MY STORE. CAN I HELP YOU? 899 00:48:45,208 --> 00:48:46,208 NO, WE WERE JUST BROWSING. 900 00:48:46,208 --> 00:48:47,375 WE'RE OKAY. THANKS. 901 00:48:47,375 --> 00:48:48,250 THANK YOU SO MUCH. 902 00:48:48,250 --> 00:48:49,417 THANK YOU. 903 00:48:49,417 --> 00:48:50,834 BYE. 904 00:48:50,834 --> 00:48:51,917 YOU DON'T LIKE MY STORE, DO YOU? 905 00:48:51,917 --> 00:48:54,625 -NO, NO, THAT'S NOT IT AT ALL. -OH, NO, NO. 906 00:48:54,625 --> 00:48:59,041 -IT'S REALLY A LOVELY STORE. WE'RE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING... -A LITTLE BIT MORE SPECIFIC. 907 00:48:59,041 --> 00:49:02,542 THE NEXT DRESS STORE IS 20 MILES FROM HERE. 908 00:49:02,542 --> 00:49:03,959 TWENTY MILES AWAY? 909 00:49:03,959 --> 00:49:05,750 OH SHIT. 910 00:49:05,750 --> 00:49:09,166 -WE'RE GONNA MISS THE WEDDING. PERFECT. -JUDY WEBB'S WEDDING? 911 00:49:09,166 --> 00:49:12,583 I KNOW ALL ABOUT IT. I DRESSED HALF THE GUESTS. 912 00:49:12,583 --> 00:49:17,208 YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS , MY BREASTUS-ES WERE, LIKE, 913 00:49:17,208 --> 00:49:21,125 RIGHT ABOUT THERE, NICE AND PERKY. 914 00:49:21,125 --> 00:49:24,917 GRAVITY HAS TAKEN THEM TO THERE. 915 00:49:24,917 --> 00:49:28,041 IT'S, LIKE, 22, 28. 916 00:49:28,041 --> 00:49:30,875 TWENTY-TWO. TWENTY-EIGHT. 917 00:49:30,875 --> 00:49:33,667 BUY SOME NEW ONES. 918 00:49:33,667 --> 00:49:37,166 OKAY, WAIT, BUT WAIT. THIS IS...WAIT. 919 00:49:37,166 --> 00:49:41,375 WHAT IS THIS? WHAT IS IT? WHAT IS THAT? NO, NO, NO. BUT WHAT IS THAT? 920 00:49:41,375 --> 00:49:43,834 THAT, AGAIN, IS...GRAVITY. 921 00:49:43,834 --> 00:49:46,250 HELLO. HI. HOW ARE YOU? 922 00:49:46,250 --> 00:49:48,708 KNOCK, KNOCK. ARE YOU DECENT? 923 00:49:48,708 --> 00:49:50,792 YEAH. YES, YES, YES, YES. 924 00:49:50,792 --> 00:49:52,208 THANK YOU. 925 00:49:52,208 --> 00:49:53,375 YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THIS. IT'S OUR LATEST LINE. 926 00:49:53,375 --> 00:49:55,375 OH, WOW. 927 00:49:55,375 --> 00:49:56,917 IF YOU NEED OTHER SIZES, JUST HOLLER. 928 00:49:56,917 --> 00:49:58,208 OH, THANK YOU. 929 00:49:58,208 --> 00:49:59,208 THANK YOU, VERA. 930 00:49:59,208 --> 00:50:00,708 WOW. EXCELLENT. 931 00:50:00,708 --> 00:50:02,000 THANK YOU. 932 00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:03,542 OH, MY, MY, MY, MY. 933 00:50:03,542 --> 00:50:05,250 JESUS. 934 00:50:05,250 --> 00:50:07,250 THAT'S NICE. LOOK. 935 00:50:07,250 --> 00:50:09,417 WAIT A MINUTE. 936 00:50:09,417 --> 00:50:14,708 DO WE HAVE TIME FOR A MOVIE MONTAGE? WELL, YOU KNOW... 937 00:50:15,458 --> 00:50:18,041 ♪ SHAKE IT, SHAKE IT 938 00:50:18,041 --> 00:50:22,500 ♪ SHAKE YOUR GROOVE THING SHAKE YOUR GROOVE THING YEAH, YEAH 939 00:50:22,500 --> 00:50:24,959 ♪ SHOW 'EM HOW WE DO IT, NOW 940 00:50:24,959 --> 00:50:29,750 ♪ SHAKE YOUR GROOVE THING SHAKE YOUR GROOVE THING YEAH, YEAH 941 00:50:29,750 --> 00:50:34,250 ♪ SHOW 'EM HOW WE DO IT, NOW SHOW 'EM HOW WE DO IT, NOW 942 00:50:34,250 --> 00:50:37,834 ♪ LET'S SHOW THE WORLD WE CAN DANCE 943 00:50:37,834 --> 00:50:41,542 ♪ BAD ENOUGH TO STRUT MY STUFF 944 00:50:41,542 --> 00:50:44,542 ♪ THE MUSIC GIVES US A CHANCE 945 00:50:44,542 --> 00:50:48,417 ♪ WE DO MORE OUT ON THE FLOOR 946 00:50:48,417 --> 00:50:52,500 ♪ GROOVIN' LOOSE OR HEART TO HEART 947 00:50:52,500 --> 00:50:55,542 ♪ WE PUT IN MOTION EVERY SINGLE PART 948 00:50:55,542 --> 00:50:58,959 ♪ FUNKY SOUNDS WALL TO WALL 949 00:50:58,959 --> 00:51:03,458 ♪ WE'RE BUMPIN' BOOTIES HAVIN' US A BALL, Y'ALL 950 00:51:03,458 --> 00:51:07,375 ♪ SHAKE YOUR GROOVE THING SHAKE YOUR GROOVE THING YEAH, YEAH 951 00:51:07,375 --> 00:51:09,917 ♪ SHOW 'EM HOW WE DO IT, NOW ♪ 952 00:51:14,959 --> 00:51:16,291 THERE YOU GO. 953 00:51:16,291 --> 00:51:17,375 OHH. 954 00:51:17,375 --> 00:51:18,750 BYE. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 955 00:51:18,750 --> 00:51:20,792 YOU BOTH LOOK SENSATIONAL. 956 00:51:20,792 --> 00:51:23,667 -THANKS TO YOUR STYLING, VERA. THANK YOU. -THANK YOU TOO. 957 00:51:23,667 --> 00:51:27,083 -WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE ON OUR MAILING LIST? -SURE. 958 00:51:27,083 --> 00:51:28,166 SURE. RIGHT HERE? 959 00:51:28,166 --> 00:51:29,500 SURE. 960 00:51:34,166 --> 00:51:36,625 THERE. JUST SEND IT THERE. 961 00:51:36,625 --> 00:51:39,542 OH, THAT'S SWEET. 962 00:51:39,542 --> 00:51:43,708 MM. IT SURE IS. THANK YOU. BYE. 963 00:51:43,708 --> 00:51:47,166 -WE'VE GOTTA GO. OH SHIT! YOU OKAY? -I CAN'T WALK IN THIS THING. 964 00:51:47,166 --> 00:51:48,834 IT'S PAINFUL, LIKE BONDAGE. 965 00:51:48,834 --> 00:51:50,792 LITTLE STEPS, LITTLE STEPS. 966 00:51:50,792 --> 00:51:51,834 WE DON'T HAVE A LOT OF TIME. 967 00:51:53,834 --> 00:51:55,125 OH, MY GOD! 968 00:51:55,125 --> 00:51:56,333 OH! 969 00:51:58,083 --> 00:52:01,166 OH, MY GOD! THESE... 970 00:52:01,166 --> 00:52:03,458 ...ARE THE DAYS OF OUR LIVES. 971 00:52:04,834 --> 00:52:08,375 -THIS IS NOT DISCREET, OKAY? -NO, IT ISN'T. 972 00:52:08,375 --> 00:52:10,208 WE ARE NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO WALK INTO A WEDDING... 973 00:52:10,208 --> 00:52:12,417 COME ON. IT'S VERY LA TOYA JACKSON. 974 00:52:14,708 --> 00:52:17,417 I MEAN, REALLY, LOOK AT ALL THIS... 975 00:52:17,417 --> 00:52:21,417 I MAY AS WELL STRAP A SIGN ON MY ASS THAT SAYS "STALKER." 976 00:52:21,417 --> 00:52:25,792 OKAY? I AM NOT GOING THERE WEARING THIS OUTFIT. 977 00:52:25,792 --> 00:52:28,708 SO CAN WE PLEASE JUST GO? YES. LET'S GO. LET'S GO HOME. 978 00:52:28,708 --> 00:52:32,959 REALLY? YEAH. I MEAN, WE'VE DRIVEN FOR THREE AND A HALF HOURS... 979 00:52:32,959 --> 00:52:35,291 AND EVERYTHING, BUT, NO, LET'S GO. 980 00:52:35,291 --> 00:52:37,375 PLEASE. PLEASE. 981 00:52:37,375 --> 00:52:38,875 I'M SERIOUS. LET'S GO. REALLY. LET'S GO 982 00:52:38,875 --> 00:52:42,875 -DON'T "REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY" ME RIGHT NOW, OKAY? -I'M NOT. 983 00:52:42,875 --> 00:52:45,875 YOU ARE. YOU'RE SO GOOD AT IT YOU DON'T KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT. 984 00:52:45,875 --> 00:52:49,041 NO, I...MAYBE A LITTLE BIT. 985 00:52:49,041 --> 00:52:52,041 -COURT, THIS IS CRAZY, OKAY? THIS IS REALLY CRAZY. -I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW. 986 00:52:52,041 --> 00:52:57,041 WHAT THE HELL WERE WE THINKING? I JUST WISH THERE WAS SOME SORT OF SIGN FROM GOD 987 00:52:57,041 --> 00:52:59,542 THAT YOU AND THIS PETER DONAHUE GUY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE TOGETHER. 988 00:52:59,542 --> 00:53:02,583 DONAHUE? HOW DO YOU KNOW HIS LAST NAME IS DONAHUE? 989 00:53:02,583 --> 00:53:04,917 BECAUSE YOU'RE SITTING ON HIS FACE. 990 00:53:07,875 --> 00:53:11,291 -OH, MY GOD, IT'S HIM! HE'S SO CUTE. -YEAH. I KNOW. I KNOW. 991 00:53:11,291 --> 00:53:12,041 CUTE? HE'S ADORABLE! 992 00:53:12,041 --> 00:53:13,625 I KNOW. 993 00:53:13,625 --> 00:53:16,834 "EVERYTHING HE TOUCHES TURNS TO SOLD." 994 00:53:16,834 --> 00:53:20,417 -AND HE'S FUNNY! HE'S FUNNY, TOO, SEE? -I KNOW. 995 00:53:23,750 --> 00:53:25,417 CHURCH BELLS? 996 00:53:49,125 --> 00:53:52,208 ALL RIGHT. WHAT DO YOU THINK... BRIDE OR GROOM'S SIDE? 997 00:53:52,208 --> 00:53:54,542 I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM, I THINK. 998 00:53:54,542 --> 00:53:56,375 DID YOU MISPLACE YOUR BLADDER TODAY? 999 00:53:56,375 --> 00:53:58,125 WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? 1000 00:53:58,125 --> 00:53:59,792 I'M WEARING THE TIGHTEST SKIRT EVER, OKAY? 1001 00:53:59,792 --> 00:54:01,834 -FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GO TO THE BATHROOM. -THANK YOU. 1002 00:54:01,834 --> 00:54:04,875 -HI. COULD YOU TELL ME WHERE THE RESTROOM IS? -IT'S RIGHT OUTSIDE. 1003 00:54:04,875 --> 00:54:07,291 OUTSIDE. OKAY. GOD! 1004 00:54:14,125 --> 00:54:16,583 OH, GOD. 1005 00:54:16,583 --> 00:54:19,834 HELLO? HELL-OO? 1006 00:54:19,834 --> 00:54:24,500 I GOTTA PEE, PEE, PEE, PEE. OHH! OH, GOD! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! 1007 00:54:24,500 --> 00:54:26,667 I CAN'T BREATHE. 1008 00:54:26,667 --> 00:54:28,458 REALLY? OKAY. JUST BREATHE. 1009 00:54:28,458 --> 00:54:31,875 STAY CALM. YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY. ARE YOU OKAY? 1010 00:54:31,875 --> 00:54:35,333 -OKAY, UH, YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE. YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY. -WATER. 1011 00:54:37,917 --> 00:54:38,917 OKAY. 1012 00:54:38,917 --> 00:54:40,750 THANK YOU. 1013 00:54:40,750 --> 00:54:42,333 THERE YOU GO. I'M JUST GONNA LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR A SECOND. 1014 00:54:42,333 --> 00:54:44,583 OKAY? 1015 00:54:44,583 --> 00:54:45,959 JUDY? 1016 00:54:45,959 --> 00:54:47,500 IN A MINUTE, DAD! 1017 00:54:50,208 --> 00:54:53,542 OKAY, OKAY. 1018 00:54:53,542 --> 00:54:57,083 I DON'T WANNA GO IN THE DEEP END. I DON'T WANNA GO IN THE DEEP END! 1019 00:54:57,083 --> 00:54:59,291 UH... 1020 00:54:59,291 --> 00:55:01,708 FLOWERS! HERE. 1021 00:55:03,542 --> 00:55:05,166 I LOOK LIKE A MAGAZINE BRIDE. 1022 00:55:05,166 --> 00:55:06,875 NO, YOU DON'T. 1023 00:55:06,875 --> 00:55:10,041 YOU LOOK REALLY BEAUTIFUL. YOU'RE THE PERFECT BRIDE. 1024 00:55:10,041 --> 00:55:13,500 WHY DON'T I FEEL GOOD? 1025 00:55:13,500 --> 00:55:17,208 WELL, I'M SURE THAT YOU'RE JUST REALLY NERVOUS. IT'S A BIG DAY, RIGHT? 1026 00:55:17,208 --> 00:55:23,542 IT'S WHAT EVERY GIRL DREAMS OF, BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW IT'S REAL? 1027 00:55:23,542 --> 00:55:27,458 I DON'T KNOW. I CAN'T ANSWER THAT FOR YOU, REALLY, 1028 00:55:27,458 --> 00:55:32,083 BUT I'M SURE THE TWO OF YOU ARE GONNA BE REALLY HAPPY TOGETHER. 1029 00:55:32,083 --> 00:55:36,000 AND IF YOU'RE NOT, YOU KNOW, YOU CAN ALWAYS JUST GET DIVORCED. 1030 00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:37,750 YEAH! 1031 00:55:37,750 --> 00:55:39,125 YEAH! SEE? IT'LL BE OKAY. 1032 00:55:39,125 --> 00:55:42,375 RIGHT. YOU'RE SO RIGHT. 1033 00:55:42,375 --> 00:55:45,333 SO JUST GET YOURSELF TOGETHER. YOU LOOK SMASHING. 1034 00:55:45,333 --> 00:55:47,041 YOU LOOK AMAZING. I LOOK BEAUTIFUL. 1035 00:55:47,041 --> 00:55:49,708 -I LOOK BEAUTIFUL. I LOOK BEAUTIFUL. -YOU DO. AMAZING. 1036 00:55:49,708 --> 00:55:52,875 -THANK YOU. NOW GET OFF MY DRESS. -OH, GOD. I'M SORRY. 1037 00:55:54,625 --> 00:55:55,959 I'M GETTING MARRIED! 1038 00:55:55,959 --> 00:55:57,375 YAY 1039 00:56:02,583 --> 00:56:04,875 HI. 1040 00:56:19,792 --> 00:56:21,625 I BET YOU MISS GRANDMA. 1041 00:56:21,625 --> 00:56:23,417 GRANDMA? 1042 00:56:25,750 --> 00:56:27,458 WHERE IS SHE? 1043 00:56:43,125 --> 00:56:44,625 TURN AROUND. 1044 00:56:46,125 --> 00:56:47,291 TURN AROUND. 1045 00:56:55,458 --> 00:56:57,792 IT'S JESUS. LOOK! IT'S JESUS. 1046 00:57:00,125 --> 00:57:02,500 BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE. 1047 00:57:09,125 --> 00:57:11,166 OKAY, BOYS, WE'RE ON. 1048 00:57:11,166 --> 00:57:13,417 OKAY. YEP. OKAY. ALL RIGHT? 1049 00:57:13,417 --> 00:57:15,291 YEP. BIG MOMENT. STRAIGHT? 1050 00:57:15,291 --> 00:57:16,917 YOU LOOK NICE TOO. 1051 00:57:16,917 --> 00:57:18,875 DON'T STRESS. DON'T STRESS. 1052 00:57:18,875 --> 00:57:21,500 -A LITTLE SLAP. SLAP ME. OKAY. -YEAH? HUH? 1053 00:57:21,500 --> 00:57:24,083 DON'T BE GAY IN GOD'S HOUSE. GIVE ME A HIT. THANK YOU. ALL RIGHT. 1054 00:57:24,083 --> 00:57:26,041 LET'S GO. LET'S DO IT. OKAY. 1055 00:57:41,333 --> 00:57:43,667 CHRIS? 1056 00:57:43,667 --> 00:57:47,125 -OH, MY GOD! ARE YOU OKAY? -I'M OKAY. I'M OKAY. 1057 00:57:47,125 --> 00:57:49,000 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1058 00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:50,959 I GOT LOCKED IN. 1059 00:57:50,959 --> 00:57:52,083 ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 1060 00:57:52,083 --> 00:57:53,834 YEAH. FUCK. 1061 00:57:53,834 --> 00:57:55,166 OW. YOU OKAY? 1062 00:57:55,166 --> 00:57:56,875 YEAH, I'M GOOD. I WAS STUCK. 1063 00:57:56,875 --> 00:57:58,208 WE DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE. 1064 00:57:58,208 --> 00:58:00,000 'CAUSE I MADE FRIENDS WITH THE BRIDE. WHY? 1065 00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:01,208 COOL. 1066 00:58:04,959 --> 00:58:07,875 WHAT? WHAT? NO, NO, NO. YOU CANNOT LOCK THE DOOR. 1067 00:58:07,875 --> 00:58:10,708 -DON'T KNOCK DOWN THE DOOR. -HELLO, HELLO, HELLO? 1068 00:58:21,041 --> 00:58:23,542 AH, SUKI, SUKI! 1069 00:58:27,667 --> 00:58:32,083 SHH! IT'S ALREADY STARTED. ALL RIGHT. 1070 00:58:39,083 --> 00:58:42,375 I BET YOU MISS GRANDMA. 1071 00:58:42,375 --> 00:58:47,166 -DEARLY BELOVED, WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY... -HI. 1072 00:58:47,166 --> 00:58:50,625 ...TO CELEBRATE THE HOLY MATRIMONY 1073 00:58:50,625 --> 00:58:55,750 OF JUDITH KATHERINE WEBB AND PETER DONAHUE. 1074 00:58:55,750 --> 00:58:57,458 PETER? OOF! 1075 00:58:59,041 --> 00:59:01,667 OH, JESUS CHRIST! 1076 00:59:01,667 --> 00:59:02,834 IT'S PETER! 1077 00:59:02,834 --> 00:59:04,083 I DIDN'T DO IT. I DIDN'T DO IT. 1078 00:59:05,500 --> 00:59:06,792 SHE DID IT. 1079 00:59:09,125 --> 00:59:14,041 THIS...THIS ISN'T THE GLICKMAN BAR MITZVAH? 1080 00:59:14,041 --> 00:59:17,250 IS IT? NO? MOISHE, ARE YOU HERE? 1081 00:59:17,250 --> 00:59:19,125 NO? GOOD. OKAY. MAZELTOV. 1082 00:59:19,125 --> 00:59:20,792 COME ON, SHARON. LET'S GO. MAZELTOV. 1083 00:59:20,792 --> 00:59:22,583 THE HOTTIE. CHRISTINA? 1084 00:59:22,583 --> 00:59:24,000 SHALOM! 1085 00:59:29,083 --> 00:59:35,041 THAT'S THE STRANGEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN. THERE ARE NO JEWS IN SOMERSET. 1086 00:59:35,041 --> 00:59:37,333 Shit. Shit. Shit. 1087 00:59:38,792 --> 00:59:39,792 SHALL WE PROCEED? 1088 00:59:39,792 --> 00:59:40,792 OH, SURE. 1089 00:59:45,208 --> 00:59:50,875 DEARLY BELOVED, WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY 1090 00:59:50,875 --> 00:59:54,667 TO CELEBRATE THE HOLY MATRIMONY 1091 00:59:54,667 --> 01:00:00,500 OF JUDITH KATHERINE WEBB AND PETER DONAHUE. 1092 01:00:04,166 --> 01:00:09,333 WHICH IS AN HONORABLE ESTATE, INSTITUTED OF GOD, 1093 01:00:09,333 --> 01:00:14,667 SIGNIFYING UNTO US THE MYSTICAL UNION THAT IS BETWEEN CHRIST 1094 01:00:15,959 --> 01:00:17,166 AND... 1095 01:00:17,166 --> 01:00:19,125 PETER? PETER? 1096 01:00:19,125 --> 01:00:20,792 SAINT... 1097 01:00:22,542 --> 01:00:23,625 PETER? 1098 01:00:23,625 --> 01:00:24,667 YEAH? 1099 01:00:24,667 --> 01:00:25,667 I'M HAVING RESERVATIONS. 1100 01:00:25,667 --> 01:00:27,333 WHERE? 1101 01:00:27,333 --> 01:00:29,208 ...AND IS COMMENDED... 1102 01:00:29,208 --> 01:00:30,375 ABOUT THIS. 1103 01:00:30,375 --> 01:00:31,291 REALLY? 1104 01:00:31,291 --> 01:00:35,208 SHH, SHH-SHH-SHH. 1105 01:00:35,208 --> 01:00:37,125 ...ST. PAUL TO BE HONORABLE... 1106 01:00:37,125 --> 01:00:38,125 ME TOO. 1107 01:00:38,125 --> 01:00:39,125 REALLY? 1108 01:00:39,125 --> 01:00:42,750 -YEAH. 1109 01:00:42,750 --> 01:00:47,708 SHH. ...ALL MEN, AND THEREFORE IS NOT BY ANY... 1110 01:00:48,333 --> 01:00:49,917 I MEAN, I LOVE YOU, 1111 01:00:49,917 --> 01:00:52,834 BUT I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU. 1112 01:00:52,834 --> 01:00:54,667 ANYMORE. 1113 01:00:54,667 --> 01:00:55,917 OH, NO. 1114 01:00:55,917 --> 01:00:57,000 YOU'RE RUINING IT. 1115 01:00:57,000 --> 01:00:58,375 BUT... 1116 01:00:58,375 --> 01:00:59,834 WE'RE STILL FRIENDS. 1117 01:00:59,834 --> 01:01:01,834 HEY, HEY! 1118 01:01:01,834 --> 01:01:03,458 I DON'T WANNA GET MARRIED. 1119 01:01:03,458 --> 01:01:05,792 I DON'T WANNA GET MARRIED! 1120 01:01:05,792 --> 01:01:10,542 NO... NO KISS. I HAVEN'T MARRIED YOU YET. 1121 01:01:10,542 --> 01:01:12,875 WE'RE NOT GETTING MARRIED! 1122 01:01:15,917 --> 01:01:16,917 MIGUEL? 1123 01:01:16,917 --> 01:01:18,500 AHH. 1124 01:01:18,500 --> 01:01:20,458 DAD. 1125 01:01:20,458 --> 01:01:23,250 BUT WE ARE HAVING THE PARTY. 1126 01:01:23,250 --> 01:01:25,417 EXIT IN THE BACK. IT'S TO THE LEFT. 1127 01:01:44,125 --> 01:01:48,792 ♪ CLOSE YOUR EYES WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME YOUR HAND ♪ 1128 01:01:50,834 --> 01:01:52,208 HI. HOW YOU DOIN'? 1129 01:01:52,208 --> 01:01:54,125 I'M OKAY. 1130 01:01:54,125 --> 01:01:56,333 YEAH... NO, I'M OKAY. YOU OKAY? 1131 01:01:56,333 --> 01:02:00,125 -YOU OWE ME $30,000, FOR THIS WEDDING. -DADDY, PLEASE. 1132 01:02:00,125 --> 01:02:02,542 -SO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M THINKING OF DOING? -WHAT'S THAT? 1133 01:02:02,542 --> 01:02:07,083 I THINK I'M GONNA CASH IN THE HONEYMOON TICKETS, FLY TO BALI AND GO SCUBA DIVING. 1134 01:02:07,083 --> 01:02:10,583 -I'M GONNA RIP YOUR FACE OFF, PECKER-HEAD! -DADDY, STOP. 1135 01:02:11,542 --> 01:02:13,458 YES? SWEETIE? 1136 01:02:13,458 --> 01:02:14,959 I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE. 1137 01:02:14,959 --> 01:02:16,959 I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE. YOU'RE A FUCKIN' DEAD MAN! 1138 01:02:16,959 --> 01:02:18,959 DAD. 1139 01:02:18,959 --> 01:02:20,625 I MET SOMEONE. 1140 01:02:20,625 --> 01:02:21,959 YOU MET SOMEONE? 1141 01:02:21,959 --> 01:02:23,041 ONLINE. 1142 01:02:23,041 --> 01:02:24,500 ONLINE. 1143 01:02:27,875 --> 01:02:30,792 HIS NAME IS RICKY. I THINK HE'S REALLY SPECIAL. 1144 01:02:30,792 --> 01:02:32,917 AH, FUCK IT! IT'S GO TIME! 1145 01:02:32,917 --> 01:02:34,834 SON OF A BITCH! 1146 01:02:34,834 --> 01:02:36,834 DADDY, STOP IT! 1147 01:02:48,750 --> 01:02:50,125 COURT? 1148 01:02:50,125 --> 01:02:51,834 MM-HMM? 1149 01:02:51,834 --> 01:02:55,333 REFRESH MY MEMORY. WAS THAT PETER'S WEDDING WE WALKED IN ON? 1150 01:02:57,917 --> 01:02:59,166 YEAH. 1151 01:03:00,208 --> 01:03:01,333 THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT. 1152 01:03:01,333 --> 01:03:02,667 YEP. 1153 01:03:04,250 --> 01:03:06,834 I'M SUCH AN IDIOT. 1154 01:03:06,834 --> 01:03:09,291 NO, YOU'RE NOT. 1155 01:03:09,291 --> 01:03:12,417 I MEET A GUY FOR TWO MINUTES, 1156 01:03:12,417 --> 01:03:17,166 AND I'M CHASING AFTER HIM LIKE HE'S SOMETHING SPECIAL. 1157 01:03:17,166 --> 01:03:21,000 WELL, MAYBE YOU WANT SOMEONE SPECIAL, 1158 01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:24,000 FOR ONCE, YOU KNOW? 1159 01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:28,500 MAYBE YOU WERE THINKIN' THAT YOU WERE TIRED OF THE GAME. 1160 01:03:32,417 --> 01:03:34,375 YOU TIRED OF THE GAME? 1161 01:03:36,875 --> 01:03:38,667 YEP. 1162 01:03:41,041 --> 01:03:42,542 LET'S GO HOME. 1163 01:03:43,750 --> 01:03:45,208 OKAY. 1164 01:03:53,458 --> 01:03:55,583 I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. 1165 01:04:00,458 --> 01:04:02,083 PLEASE RESPOND TO KEARNEY. 1166 01:04:02,083 --> 01:04:04,125 OH, MY GOD. 1167 01:04:04,125 --> 01:04:05,917 WHAT'S GOING ON? -EXCUSE ME. OFFICER? 1168 01:04:07,208 --> 01:04:09,792 WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? 1169 01:04:09,792 --> 01:04:11,792 TWENTY YEARS, AND I'VE NEVER SEEN SOMETHING SO HORRIBLE. 1170 01:04:12,917 --> 01:04:15,708 WHAT? WHERE? WHAT IS THE EMERGENCY? 1171 01:04:15,708 --> 01:04:17,291 APARTMENT THREE. 1172 01:04:17,291 --> 01:04:19,083 BUT THAT'S MY APARTMENT. 1173 01:04:19,083 --> 01:04:21,625 JANE. JANE. JANE! 1174 01:04:22,750 --> 01:04:25,375 POOR GIRL NEVER SAW IT COMING. 1175 01:04:25,375 --> 01:04:29,333 EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME. 1176 01:04:29,333 --> 01:04:32,041 CHRIST! I WOULDN'T GO IN THERE. IT'S NOT A PRETTY SIGHT. 1177 01:04:32,041 --> 01:04:33,708 I LIVE HERE. JANE! 1178 01:04:33,708 --> 01:04:35,417 EXCUSE ME. 1179 01:04:35,417 --> 01:04:38,708 JANE? JANIE? 1180 01:04:38,708 --> 01:04:40,625 OH, MY GOD! JANIE? OH! 1181 01:04:40,625 --> 01:04:42,417 JANE : CHRISTINA? 1182 01:04:42,417 --> 01:04:44,125 APPARENTLY THEY'RE STUCK. 1183 01:04:44,125 --> 01:04:46,083 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 1184 01:04:46,083 --> 01:04:48,458 JANIE, ARE YOU OKAY? 1185 01:04:50,041 --> 01:04:52,291 HOW ARE YOU STUCK? 1186 01:04:52,291 --> 01:04:55,917 I HAVE A PIERCING. 1187 01:04:55,917 --> 01:04:57,291 I DON'T GET IT. HOW IS SHE STUCK? 1188 01:04:57,291 --> 01:04:58,959 BEHIND HER TONSILS. 1189 01:04:58,959 --> 01:05:01,208 HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW THAT? 1190 01:05:01,208 --> 01:05:04,625 -LISTEN, HONEY, I'M GONNA JUST PULL YOU REALLY GENTLY. -OHH, NO. 1191 01:05:04,625 --> 01:05:07,792 -SHH. I'M GONNA PULL, OKAY? GENTLY. -BE CAREFUL. 1192 01:05:10,500 --> 01:05:12,583 I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. 1193 01:05:12,583 --> 01:05:14,500 WE'VE GOT THE AMBULANCE WAITING OUTSIDE 1194 01:05:14,500 --> 01:05:16,625 AND THE OR PREPPED FOR SURGERY. WE HAVE TO GET GOING. 1195 01:05:16,625 --> 01:05:18,000 WHAT? NO, NO, NO. WAIT, WAIT. 1196 01:05:18,000 --> 01:05:19,583 SHE COULD SING. 1197 01:05:19,583 --> 01:05:22,458 -YOU COULD SING, JANE. IT RELAXES THE THROAT. TRY. -RIGHT, RIGHT. 1198 01:05:22,458 --> 01:05:23,834 TRY, TRY... 1199 01:05:23,834 --> 01:05:27,125 ♪ RELAX, DON'T DO IT WHEN YOU WANNA GET TO IT 1200 01:05:27,125 --> 01:05:30,792 ♪ RELAX, DON'T DO IT WHEN YOU WANNA COME ♪ 1201 01:05:30,792 --> 01:05:33,458 STOP IT. YOU'RE GETTIN' ME HARD AGAIN. 1202 01:05:33,458 --> 01:05:36,208 IT'S THE WRONG SONG. OKAY. 1203 01:05:36,208 --> 01:05:38,417 ARMAGEDDON . 1204 01:05:38,417 --> 01:05:41,000 ♪ I COULD STAY AWAKE 1205 01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:45,792 ♪ JUST TO HEAR YOU BREATHIN' 1206 01:05:45,792 --> 01:05:49,333 ♪ WATCH YOU SMILE WHILE YOU ARE SLEEPIN' 1207 01:05:49,333 --> 01:05:51,750 ♪ I COULD SPEND MY LIFE 1208 01:05:51,750 --> 01:05:55,166 ♪ IN THIS SWEET SURRENDER ♪ 1209 01:05:55,166 --> 01:05:56,166 COME ON, SWEETIE. TRY. 1210 01:06:02,166 --> 01:06:05,291 ♪ AS EVERY MOMENT SPENT WITH YOU 1211 01:06:05,291 --> 01:06:11,291 ♪ IS A MOMENT I TREASURE 1212 01:06:11,291 --> 01:06:15,000 ♪ I DON'T WANNA CLOSE MY EYES 1213 01:06:15,000 --> 01:06:17,375 ♪ I DON'T WANNA FALL ASLEEP 1214 01:06:17,375 --> 01:06:22,458 ♪ 'CAUSE I'D MISS YOU, BABE AND I DON'T WANNA MISS A THING 1215 01:06:22,458 --> 01:06:26,041 ♪ 'CAUSE EVEN WHEN I DREAM OF YOU 1216 01:06:26,041 --> 01:06:28,583 ♪ THE SWEETEST DREAM WILL NEVER DO 1217 01:06:28,583 --> 01:06:33,458 ♪ I'D STILL MISS YOU, BABY AND I DON'T WANNA MISS A THING 1218 01:06:33,458 --> 01:06:39,125 ♪ I DON'T WANNA CLOSE MY EYES I DON'T WANNA FALL ASLEEP 1219 01:06:39,125 --> 01:06:44,291 ♪ 'CAUSE I'LL MISS YOU, BABY AND I DON'T WANNA MISS A THING 1220 01:06:44,291 --> 01:06:48,667 ♪ EVEN WHEN I DREAM OF YOU 1221 01:06:48,667 --> 01:06:51,000 ♪ THE SWEETEST THING WILL NEVER DO 1222 01:06:51,000 --> 01:06:55,291 ♪ I STILL MISS YOU, BABY AND I DON'T WANNA MISS A THING 1223 01:06:55,291 --> 01:06:58,500 ♪ HOW DO I LIVE WITHOUT YOU ♪ 1224 01:06:58,500 --> 01:07:02,834 I WANT TO KNOW... WHAT? 1225 01:07:02,834 --> 01:07:04,250 IT WAS VANILLI. IT WAS MILLI. 1226 01:07:04,250 --> 01:07:05,333 OH, WHATEVER. 1227 01:07:05,333 --> 01:07:07,250 NO. NOT "WHATEVER." 1228 01:07:07,250 --> 01:07:11,750 SO SHE SAYS TO HIM, "GIRL, YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE" CHANGED MY LIFE. 1229 01:07:11,750 --> 01:07:15,000 A TEAR...JUST A SAD LITTLE TEAR SLOWLY... 1230 01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:18,875 OH, COME ON. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? I WAS 16 YEARS OLD. 1231 01:07:18,875 --> 01:07:22,250 OKAY? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I STARTED TALKING TO HER IN THE SECOND GRADE. 1232 01:07:22,250 --> 01:07:23,792 I SWEAR, I DON'T. 1233 01:07:23,792 --> 01:07:25,583 BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT I WAS THE SHIT. 1234 01:07:25,583 --> 01:07:26,750 YOU ARE THE SHIT. 1235 01:07:26,750 --> 01:07:28,208 SHITHEAD 1236 01:07:28,208 --> 01:07:29,750 OH, MY GOD. 1237 01:07:29,750 --> 01:07:31,417 WHAT? 1238 01:07:31,417 --> 01:07:35,500 THEY FOUND A DONOR FOR MY PATIENT. OKAY. I GOTTA GO. SORRY, GUYS. 1239 01:07:35,500 --> 01:07:37,041 YOU KNOW WHAT, CHRISTINA? IT WAS GREAT MEETING YOU. 1240 01:07:37,041 --> 01:07:38,542 IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU, GREG. 1241 01:07:38,542 --> 01:07:40,291 JANE, IT WAS GREAT MEETING YOU. 1242 01:07:40,291 --> 01:07:41,792 GREAT MEETING YOU. 1243 01:07:41,792 --> 01:07:43,917 SO SORRY I HAVE TO RUN OFF LIKE THIS. I'LL MAKE YOU RISOTTO. 1244 01:07:43,917 --> 01:07:45,625 IT'S FINE. 1245 01:07:45,625 --> 01:07:47,000 OKAY. 1246 01:07:47,000 --> 01:07:49,291 BYE. 1247 01:07:49,291 --> 01:07:53,333 -OKAY, CAN I JUST SAY, THAT WAS SO SWEET? -HE'S GREAT. 1248 01:07:53,333 --> 01:07:54,250 SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP. 1249 01:07:54,250 --> 01:07:55,792 HE'S SO SWEET. 1250 01:07:55,792 --> 01:07:59,000 HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY PIERCINGS, DOES HE? 1251 01:07:59,000 --> 01:08:02,750 UM, I DON'T KNOW, ACTUALLY, BECAUSE, UM, 1252 01:08:02,750 --> 01:08:08,500 I HAVEN'T DONE THAT WITH HIM YET, SO, YOU KNOW... 1253 01:08:08,500 --> 01:08:10,583 OH, YOU REALLY DO LIKE HIM. 1254 01:08:10,583 --> 01:08:14,041 I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT, 'CAUSE I'M GONNA JINX IT, SO... 1255 01:08:14,041 --> 01:08:15,500 OHH. 1256 01:08:17,583 --> 01:08:22,250 ♪ AND IT'S A STRANGE CONDITION 1257 01:08:22,250 --> 01:08:25,625 ♪ A DAY IN PRISON 1258 01:08:25,625 --> 01:08:28,041 ♪ IT'S GOT ME OUT OF MY HEAD 1259 01:08:28,041 --> 01:08:32,750 ♪ AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT I CAME HERE FOR 1260 01:08:32,750 --> 01:08:36,834 ♪ OH, I WANT YOU TO KNOW 1261 01:09:01,875 --> 01:09:05,708 ♪ IT'S A STRANGE CONDITION ♪ 1262 01:09:08,250 --> 01:09:10,375 HEY. 1263 01:09:10,375 --> 01:09:13,208 HEY. 1264 01:09:13,208 --> 01:09:16,208 -I CLOSED ON THE MAHALOCK HOUSE TODAY. -GREAT NEWS FOR YOU. 1265 01:09:16,208 --> 01:09:18,708 YOU DON'T NEED TO DO A THING. 1266 01:09:18,708 --> 01:09:21,208 WHAT DID THEY SAY ABOUT MY ALUMINUM SIDING? 1267 01:09:21,208 --> 01:09:23,333 NO. 1268 01:09:23,333 --> 01:09:25,375 REALLY? 1269 01:09:25,375 --> 01:09:27,083 REALLY. BE CAREFUL WITH THOSE FAT-FREE CHIPS. 1270 01:09:27,083 --> 01:09:28,917 THEY CAUSE ANAL LEAKAGE. 1271 01:09:28,917 --> 01:09:30,750 YOU CAUSE ANAL LEAKAGE. 1272 01:09:30,750 --> 01:09:33,083 IT SAYS SO ON THE BAG. 1273 01:09:42,208 --> 01:09:48,250 WHAT... WHAT KIND OF MARKETING BRAINIAC PUTS "ANAL LEAKAGE" ON HIS PRODUCT? 1274 01:09:48,250 --> 01:09:50,375 HOW CAN THEY EVEN SELL THAT CRAP? 1275 01:09:50,375 --> 01:09:51,708 WHAT TIME'S YOUR FLIGHT? 1276 01:09:51,708 --> 01:09:52,792 9:30. 1277 01:09:54,083 --> 01:09:57,458 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE GOING TO COSTA RICA. 1278 01:09:57,458 --> 01:10:00,166 YOU KNOW, YOUR FEMALE PROBLEMS ARE COMPLETELY OVER WITH? 1279 01:10:00,166 --> 01:10:01,583 HOPE SO. 1280 01:10:01,583 --> 01:10:04,917 OH, THEY ARE. YOU KNOW WHAT I HEAR ABOUT COSTA RICAN WOMEN? 1281 01:10:04,917 --> 01:10:06,250 FOR FIVE PESOS... 1282 01:10:06,250 --> 01:10:08,375 NO, NO. ROG, ROG. 1283 01:10:08,375 --> 01:10:11,417 -THEY TAKE YOUR CHIMICHANGA AND YOUR POQUITO ... -NO, NO, SENOR. SENOR... 1284 01:10:11,417 --> 01:10:13,375 NO. NO QUIERO. LISTEN TO ME. 1285 01:10:13,375 --> 01:10:18,125 ALL I'M SAYIN' IS, MAKE NICE WITH THE CONCIERGE, OKAY? 1286 01:10:19,792 --> 01:10:21,333 YOU ALL RIGHT, VERA? 1287 01:10:21,333 --> 01:10:22,834 COULDN'T BE BETTER! 1288 01:10:26,959 --> 01:10:28,875 THANK YOU SO MUCH. WHERE DO YOU WANT IT? 1289 01:10:28,875 --> 01:10:32,000 -JUST PUT HER DOWN RIGHT HERE, BOYS. -OKEYDOKEY. 1290 01:10:32,000 --> 01:10:35,667 PETER, SINCE YOU'RE GOING AWAY...DO YOU WANNA BE ON OUR MAILING LIST? 1291 01:10:35,667 --> 01:10:38,500 YES, I WOULD, MA'AM. I'D LOVE TO. THANK YOU. 1292 01:10:40,125 --> 01:10:43,542 PETE, I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET US OFF THAT MAILING LIST SINCE 1982. 1293 01:10:43,542 --> 01:10:45,792 RELAX, ROG. 1294 01:10:45,792 --> 01:10:47,542 THIS IS THE HOTTEST CHICK THAT'S EVER BEEN IN THIS STORE. 1295 01:10:47,542 --> 01:10:49,458 THEY CAUGHT HER TRYING TO ESCAPE. 1296 01:11:09,834 --> 01:11:11,792 THAT IS SO WEIRD. 1297 01:11:11,792 --> 01:11:14,041 I KNOW. VERY STRANGE. 1298 01:11:14,041 --> 01:11:16,500 I KNOW. 1299 01:11:16,500 --> 01:11:18,083 HEY. 1300 01:11:18,083 --> 01:11:19,959 HEY. 1301 01:11:19,959 --> 01:11:24,417 SWEETIE? CHRISTINA, WHAT'S GOING ON? WHAT HAPPENED? 1302 01:11:24,417 --> 01:11:29,333 I CAME TO JUST EAT MY COOKIE AND MAKE A PHONE CALL. 1303 01:11:29,333 --> 01:11:33,083 -YOU DIDN'T WANT TO EAT THE COOKIES? -NO, NO, NO, NO. 1304 01:11:33,083 --> 01:11:34,667 JUST READ THIS. 1305 01:11:34,667 --> 01:11:37,000 ALL RIGHT. 1306 01:11:37,000 --> 01:11:41,708 "COMMANDMENT #9: THOU SHALT LOVE WHAT'S POSSIBLE." 1307 01:11:41,708 --> 01:11:45,792 -OH, CHRISTINA, HONEY, WE'VE GONE OVER THIS. -NOT THAT ONE. 1308 01:11:45,792 --> 01:11:48,792 YOU DID NOT KNOW THE GUY WAS GONNA BE GETTING MARRIED, ALL RIGHT? 1309 01:11:48,792 --> 01:11:52,333 -IT'S ALL RIGHT. IT JUST WASN'T POSSIBLE, SWEETIE. -NOT THAT ONE. 1310 01:11:52,333 --> 01:11:54,375 THE NEXT ONE. TEN. 1311 01:11:54,375 --> 01:11:56,458 "THOU SHALT NOT FEAR"? 1312 01:11:56,458 --> 01:11:58,708 YES. "THOU SHALT NOT FEAR." 1313 01:11:58,708 --> 01:12:01,083 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, "FEAR"? 1314 01:12:01,083 --> 01:12:04,375 WHAT YOU DID WAS AN INCREDIBLY BRAVE THING. 1315 01:12:04,375 --> 01:12:08,834 YOU COMPLETELY DROPPED ALL OF YOUR BOUNDARIES, AND YOU MET THIS GUY HALFWAY. 1316 01:12:08,834 --> 01:12:11,708 SHIT, YOU MET HIM MORE THAN HALFWAY. YOU WENT ALL THE WAY TO SOMERSET. 1317 01:12:11,708 --> 01:12:14,166 YOU GUYS, IT WAS JUST ANOTHER GAME. 1318 01:12:14,166 --> 01:12:19,667 COME ON. IF HE HADN'T BEEN GETTING MARRIED, WHAT DO YOU THINK I WOULD'VE DONE? 1319 01:12:19,667 --> 01:12:24,500 HUH? THAT'S RIGHT. COURT, YOU KNOW. 1320 01:12:24,500 --> 01:12:28,417 I WOULD'VE DONE THE SAME OLD THING. I WOULD'VE HESITATED. 1321 01:12:28,417 --> 01:12:32,583 I WOULD'VE...FROZE UP. 1322 01:12:32,583 --> 01:12:36,083 I WOULD'VE KISSED HIM AND THEN RAN OFF. 1323 01:12:36,083 --> 01:12:39,792 GIVE HIM THE WRONG PHONE NUMBER. 1324 01:12:39,792 --> 01:12:44,083 HOOK THAT FISH AND JUST THROW HIM RIGHT BACK 1325 01:12:45,041 --> 01:12:46,708 JESUS. 1326 01:12:50,834 --> 01:12:52,917 I'M STUCK IN A RUT. 1327 01:12:52,917 --> 01:12:55,250 OH, SWEETIE. 1328 01:12:56,667 --> 01:13:01,500 A BIG, FAT RUT. 1329 01:13:01,500 --> 01:13:06,250 YOU GUYS, I DON'T WANNA BE THAT GIRL ANYMORE. 1330 01:13:06,250 --> 01:13:07,917 YOU KNOW? I KNOW. 1331 01:13:07,917 --> 01:13:10,917 I KNOW. NONE OF US DO. 1332 01:13:13,959 --> 01:13:15,750 LET'S GO DANCING. 1333 01:13:17,708 --> 01:13:21,125 ♪ YOU KNOW, IT'S TIME ♪ 1334 01:13:21,125 --> 01:13:23,125 SO, ANY CHANCE? 1335 01:13:23,125 --> 01:13:24,875 OF WHAT? NO-HO. DON'T EVEN BOTHER. 1336 01:13:24,875 --> 01:13:27,125 SHE'S ON A MISSION. 1337 01:13:29,166 --> 01:13:33,792 ♪ TO GIVE UP ON YOUR MIND ♪ 1338 01:13:37,458 --> 01:13:39,625 HOW'S IT SHAKIN', LADIES? 1339 01:13:39,625 --> 01:13:41,125 NO, THANK YOU. 1340 01:13:41,125 --> 01:13:43,083 YOUR BODY IS BANGING. 1341 01:13:43,083 --> 01:13:44,667 YOUR FACE IS TOO. 1342 01:13:44,667 --> 01:13:45,917 NEAT-O. THANKS. NEAT. 1343 01:13:45,917 --> 01:13:50,125 ♪ IT'S TIME JUST COME ON ♪ 1344 01:13:50,125 --> 01:13:54,333 WHAT'S GOIN' ON, HOT MAMA? 1345 01:13:54,333 --> 01:13:58,792 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. BRINGIN' IT DOWN NOW. 1346 01:13:58,792 --> 01:14:01,708 BRINGIN' IT UP NOW. OH, YEAH. 1347 01:14:01,708 --> 01:14:05,959 WHOOP, WHOOP! YEAH. HERE IT COMES, BABY. 1348 01:14:05,959 --> 01:14:09,917 -FEEL THE MONKEY. WORK THE MONKEY-MONKEY-MONK! -THE MONKEY, THE MONKEY! 1349 01:14:09,917 --> 01:14:13,917 THE MONKEY. OO-OO! 1350 01:14:13,917 --> 01:14:15,750 THE MONKEY, THE MONKEY! 1351 01:14:15,750 --> 01:14:17,375 YEAH. YOU WORKIN' THAT MONKEY. 1352 01:14:17,375 --> 01:14:18,458 YOU'RE A REALLY GOOD DANCER. 1353 01:14:18,458 --> 01:14:20,417 THANKS. 1354 01:14:20,417 --> 01:14:23,959 -NO. YOU ARE. YOU HAVE SOME ORIGINAL MOVES. -I'VE BEEN WORKIN' ON 'EM. 1355 01:14:23,959 --> 01:14:25,542 HAVE WE MET BEFORE? 1356 01:14:25,542 --> 01:14:27,208 A COUPLE TIMES. 1357 01:14:27,208 --> 01:14:28,875 I'M DONNIE. 1358 01:14:30,208 --> 01:14:34,834 HI. CHRISTINA. 1359 01:14:34,834 --> 01:14:39,625 IT FEELS LIKE SIXTEEN CANDLES. 1360 01:14:39,625 --> 01:14:43,041 -I'D LOVE TO TAKE YOU OUT SOMETIME. -REALLY? 1361 01:14:43,041 --> 01:14:49,875 WELL, THAT'S NICE. I MEAN, GIVE ME YOUR CARD. I'LL CALL YOU SOMETIME. 1362 01:14:49,875 --> 01:14:54,166 THANK YOU. YOU SEEM LIKE A REALLY NICE PERSON. 1363 01:14:54,166 --> 01:14:55,875 YEAH, WORK THAT MONKEY. 1364 01:14:55,875 --> 01:14:57,750 I'LL WORK ON THE MONKEY. 1365 01:15:00,750 --> 01:15:03,375 ♪ WHEN YOU FEEL IT IN YOUR BODY YOU'VE FOUND SOMEBODY 1366 01:15:03,375 --> 01:15:08,500 ♪ WHO MAKES YOU CHANGE YOUR WAYS LIKE HANGIN' WITH YOU, COOL 1367 01:15:08,500 --> 01:15:12,708 ♪ SO YOU ACT LIKE YOU READY BUT YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW 1368 01:15:12,708 --> 01:15:16,041 ♪ AND EVERYTHING IN YOUR PAST YOU WANNA LET IT GO 1369 01:15:16,041 --> 01:15:19,083 ♪ I BEEN THERE, DONE IT 1370 01:15:19,083 --> 01:15:22,834 ♪ AFTER ALL THAT THIS IS WHAT I FOUND 1371 01:15:22,834 --> 01:15:26,625 ♪ NOBODY WANTS TO BE ALONE ♪ 1372 01:15:26,625 --> 01:15:27,500 HEY, DONNIE. HI. 1373 01:15:27,500 --> 01:15:28,959 HEY. 1374 01:15:28,959 --> 01:15:29,917 HEY, DO YOU HAVE A PEN? 1375 01:15:29,917 --> 01:15:31,166 YOU BETCHA. 1376 01:15:31,166 --> 01:15:36,083 ♪ YOU GOT IT YOU GOT IT BAD ♪ 1377 01:15:36,083 --> 01:15:40,250 I'M A JERK, AND I WANNA APOLOGIZE, BECAUSE I DID NOT PLAN ON CALLING YOU. 1378 01:15:40,250 --> 01:15:43,291 I AM GONNA GIVE YOU MY NUMBER SO THAT YOU CAN CALL ME 1379 01:15:43,291 --> 01:15:46,750 BECAUSE I FOUND OUT SOMETHING 1380 01:15:46,750 --> 01:15:52,500 THAT WAS COMPLETELY LIFE-CHANGING. THAT IT'S OKAY TO TAKE A CHANCE, YOU KNOW? 1381 01:15:52,500 --> 01:15:56,375 IT'S OKAY TO. LOVE IS CRAZY, AND THAT'S WHAT LOVE IS. IT'S TAKING A CHANCE. 1382 01:15:56,375 --> 01:16:01,708 AND MY GIRLFRIEND COURTNEY AND I WENT ON THIS CRAZY RIDE AND WENT FOR A GUY. 1383 01:16:01,708 --> 01:16:06,875 I WENT ACROSS THE STATE PRACTICALLY TO FIND THIS GUY THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW. 1384 01:16:06,875 --> 01:16:10,458 AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU. BUT HERE I AM, I'M HAVING THIS CONVERSATION WITH YOU. 1385 01:16:10,458 --> 01:16:15,166 AND I KNOW THAT IF I JUST TAKE A CHANCE...MAYBE WITH YOU...THAT, I DON'T KNOW... 1386 01:16:15,166 --> 01:16:21,458 FORGET IT. WHAT'S A GUY GOTTA DO TO GET LAID? 1387 01:16:21,458 --> 01:16:23,792 ♪ YOU GOT IT YOU GOT IT BAD 1388 01:16:23,792 --> 01:16:29,250 ♪ HANG YOUR OWN PHONE UP HANG UP AND CALL RIGHT BACK 1389 01:16:29,250 --> 01:16:31,291 ♪ OH, YOU GOT IT YOU GOT IT BAD 1390 01:16:31,291 --> 01:16:36,667 ♪ IF YOU MISS A DATE YOU'RE AFRAID YOUR WHOLE LIFE'S A DRAG 1391 01:16:36,667 --> 01:16:41,041 ♪ OH, YOU GOT IT BAD WHEN YOU'RE STUCK IN THE HOUSE 1392 01:16:41,041 --> 01:16:46,500 ♪ AND YOU DON'T WANNA HAVE FUN THE MORE YOU THINK ABOUT IT YOU GOT IT BAD ♪ 1393 01:16:47,333 --> 01:16:50,542 NO PROBLEM. OKAY. HERE YOU GO. 1394 01:16:58,166 --> 01:16:59,583 UM, CHRIS? 1395 01:16:59,583 --> 01:17:00,834 YEAH? 1396 01:17:00,834 --> 01:17:02,667 HONEY? 1397 01:17:04,000 --> 01:17:05,458 UH... 1398 01:17:05,458 --> 01:17:06,667 WAIT. WHAT? 1399 01:17:10,000 --> 01:17:12,708 OH, MY GOD. 1400 01:17:14,708 --> 01:17:17,542 WHAT AM I GONNA DO? 1401 01:17:17,542 --> 01:17:20,083 I THINK YOU CAN HANDLE THIS ONE ON YOUR OWN. 1402 01:17:20,083 --> 01:17:23,708 IT'S ALL GOOD, GIRL. SHH. 1403 01:17:23,708 --> 01:17:27,333 FIGURE THIS ONE OUT. FIGURE IT OUT. OKAY. 1404 01:17:33,333 --> 01:17:35,208 CHRISTINA. 1405 01:17:36,166 --> 01:17:38,333 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 1406 01:17:38,333 --> 01:17:40,834 I CAME HERE TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU. 1407 01:17:40,834 --> 01:17:43,083 FOR WHAT? 1408 01:17:43,083 --> 01:17:44,959 FOR NOT TELLING YOU I WAS GETTING MARRIED. 1409 01:17:44,959 --> 01:17:47,750 I SHOULD'VE TOLD YOU THAT, AND I DIDN'T. AND I'M SORRY. 1410 01:17:47,750 --> 01:17:51,458 YOU'RE THE GUY THAT NEEDS THE LAST FLING BEFORE YOUR WEDDING. THAT'S... 1411 01:17:51,458 --> 01:17:57,208 NO, NO. I'M NOT THAT GUY. YOU SPILLED MY DRINK, AND I LET YOU BUY ME A BEER. 1412 01:17:57,208 --> 01:17:59,750 THAT WAS ALL THERE WAS TO IT. 1413 01:18:01,375 --> 01:18:04,750 WE HAD FUN. WE TALKED. THAT WAS IT. 1414 01:18:04,750 --> 01:18:06,583 RIGHT? 1415 01:18:07,875 --> 01:18:10,208 YEAH, I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT. 1416 01:18:11,125 --> 01:18:12,417 I DIDN'T GET MARRIED. 1417 01:18:18,542 --> 01:18:20,417 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 1418 01:18:20,417 --> 01:18:23,083 JUDY AND I, WE CALLED IT OFF. 1419 01:18:23,083 --> 01:18:25,542 WELL, 1420 01:18:25,542 --> 01:18:29,750 I HOPE THAT THING THAT HAPPENED DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT. 1421 01:18:29,750 --> 01:18:32,625 NO, NO, NO, NO. IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT. 1422 01:18:32,625 --> 01:18:35,458 JUDY AND I BOTH REALIZED WE WERE DOING THE WRONG THING. 1423 01:18:35,458 --> 01:18:38,542 I MEAN, TWO PEOPLE SHOULD BE IN LOVE. 1424 01:18:38,542 --> 01:18:42,500 BUT JUDY... I MEAN, SHE'S HAPPY. SHE'S SCUBA DIVING IN BALI. 1425 01:18:42,500 --> 01:18:46,959 SHE REALLY LIKED YOU TOO. SHE THOUGHT YOU WERE GREAT. WHY WERE YOU AT MY WEDDING? 1426 01:18:46,959 --> 01:18:48,792 YOU KNOW, 1427 01:18:48,792 --> 01:18:53,208 IT WAS JUST ONE OF THOSE SORT OF SPONTANEOUS THINGS MY GIRLFRIEND AND I DO. 1428 01:18:53,208 --> 01:18:59,125 IT WAS JUST REALLY... IT JUST GOT SCREWED UP. 1429 01:19:00,959 --> 01:19:06,917 LOOK, I CAME HERE TONIGHT 'CAUSE I WANTED TO SEE YOU. 1430 01:19:06,917 --> 01:19:11,458 AND I THOUGHT THAT MAYBE, UH... 1431 01:19:11,458 --> 01:19:16,750 WELL, THAT NIGHT THAT WE MET, I THOUGHT THERE WAS SOMETHING, 1432 01:19:16,750 --> 01:19:19,834 SOME FEELING I HAD ABOUT US OR... 1433 01:19:19,834 --> 01:19:24,667 I THOUGHT THAT MAYBE YOU MIGHT FEEL THAT WAY TOO. 1434 01:19:24,667 --> 01:19:28,000 IS THIS A MUTUAL THING, OR AM I JUST...THIS IS NOT A MUTUAL THING AT ALL. 1435 01:19:28,000 --> 01:19:31,583 -THIS IS A VERY STUPID THING. I AM STUPID. I SHOULD GO. -WAIT, WAIT. 1436 01:19:31,583 --> 01:19:34,000 I REALLY APOLOGIZE FOR WASTING YOUR TIME, 1437 01:19:34,000 --> 01:19:37,125 AND I'M GONNA GO JUMP OFF THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE NOW. 1438 01:19:37,125 --> 01:19:41,667 THANKS. SEE YA. I'M STUPID. THAT'S RIGHT. 1439 01:19:41,667 --> 01:19:46,583 IN FACT, THAT'S IT... EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED TO...TO DO. 1440 01:19:46,583 --> 01:19:50,458 THAT'S, UH...YES, YES. GOSH, IT'S GOING SO WELL. 1441 01:19:50,458 --> 01:19:51,834 YES. 1442 01:20:11,917 --> 01:20:13,834 I'M NOT GONNA BE AFRAID. 1443 01:20:20,166 --> 01:20:21,875 PETER? 1444 01:20:25,375 --> 01:20:27,875 PETER? PETER, WAIT! 1445 01:20:31,542 --> 01:20:33,750 PETER! 1446 01:20:33,750 --> 01:20:35,500 PETER? 1447 01:20:39,917 --> 01:20:41,750 SHIT. 1448 01:20:50,625 --> 01:20:51,750 HI. 1449 01:20:58,250 --> 01:21:01,708 COME ON! OH! 1450 01:21:01,708 --> 01:21:03,625 ARE YOU OKAY? 1451 01:21:04,834 --> 01:21:06,250 YES. OH, MY GOD. 1452 01:21:06,250 --> 01:21:08,125 OH, MY GOD. 1453 01:21:08,125 --> 01:21:10,291 -LOOK, I DON'T THINK I REALLY HANDLED THAT TOO WELL. -NO, LISTEN. 1454 01:21:10,291 --> 01:21:14,417 I DIDN'T HANDLE IT AT ALL. I'M SO SORRY. 1455 01:21:14,417 --> 01:21:18,917 LOOK, I WANTED TO FIND YOU SO I COULD TELL YOU THAT... WHAT I COULDN'T TELL YOU UP THERE, 1456 01:21:18,917 --> 01:21:22,208 WHICH WAS THAT I DID COME TO YOUR WEDDING BECAUSE I WANTED TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 1457 01:21:22,208 --> 01:21:25,583 BECAUSE THE FEELING IS MUTUAL, AND YOU'D BETTER BE A REALLY GOOD KISSER. 1458 01:21:36,125 --> 01:21:37,750 WOW. 1459 01:21:39,625 --> 01:21:40,834 THAT WAS WEAK. 1460 01:21:42,250 --> 01:21:43,750 YEAH. WEAK? 1461 01:21:46,041 --> 01:21:48,208 IT'S OKAY. YOU CAN TRY AGAIN. 1462 01:21:48,208 --> 01:21:49,583 OKAY? 1463 01:21:59,166 --> 01:22:02,834 YOU WERE SO MUCH BETTER IN MY DREAM. IT'S WEIRD... 1464 01:22:02,834 --> 01:22:03,875 HOLD THESE. 1465 01:22:08,333 --> 01:22:10,917 -I THOUGHT THIS WAS, LIKE, MUTUAL. -OH, MY GOD. 1466 01:22:10,917 --> 01:22:14,667 NO, I'M SERIOUS. LISTEN, I'LL CALL YOU, OKAY? 1467 01:22:15,792 --> 01:22:18,083 WHAT? WAIT, WAIT. 1468 01:22:18,083 --> 01:22:21,500 -THANKS FOR THE FLOWERS. REALLY NICE TOUCH. -I'M OUT OF PRACTICE. 1469 01:22:21,500 --> 01:22:25,667 I JUST WOKE UP. UNBELIEVABLE! 1470 01:22:32,166 --> 01:22:35,583 CHRISTINA WALTERS. YEP, I KNOW HER. 1471 01:22:35,583 --> 01:22:39,834 BITCH. MADE MY LIFE A LIVING HELL. 1472 01:22:39,834 --> 01:22:42,834 FIRST SHE TRIES TO PAWN ME OFF ON HER FRIEND. THEN SHE CALLS ME A DICK, 1473 01:22:42,834 --> 01:22:45,875 THEN SHE HUNTS ME DOWN LIKE A DOG AT MY OWN WEDDING. 1474 01:22:45,875 --> 01:22:50,041 THEN, WHEN I TRY TO APOLOGIZE FOR EVERYTHING, SHE'S LIKE, "I DON'T KNOW YOU. 1475 01:22:50,041 --> 01:22:54,291 "YOU'RE ONE OF HUNDREDS. I HAVE NO FEELINGS FOR YOU. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. 1476 01:22:54,291 --> 01:22:57,375 WAH, WAH, WAH. LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA." 1477 01:22:59,708 --> 01:23:02,875 IS THAT HOW I SOUNDED? "BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH"? 1478 01:23:08,375 --> 01:23:09,917 THE MOVIE IS STARTING. 1479 01:23:09,917 --> 01:23:11,750 LET'S GO. 1480 01:23:22,583 --> 01:23:24,417 WHO LOVES YA? WHO'S YOUR DADDY? 1481 01:23:38,708 --> 01:23:39,750 FUCK GRANDMA. 1482 01:23:39,750 --> 01:23:41,875 ♪ WHEN IT'S OVER 1483 01:23:41,875 --> 01:23:47,417 ♪ THAT'S THE TIME I FALL IN LOVE AGAIN ♪ 1484 01:23:50,750 --> 01:23:52,250 SAVE YOURSELF A BUCK. 1485 01:23:57,375 --> 01:23:59,083 A GIRL THAT YOU LICK. 1486 01:23:59,083 --> 01:24:00,708 YES. THAT YOU LICK. REALLY? 1487 01:24:00,708 --> 01:24:01,875 A GIRL THAT I LICK? 1488 01:24:06,250 --> 01:24:09,333 ♪ ALL THE THINGS THAT I USED TO SAY ♪ 1489 01:24:09,333 --> 01:24:11,500 ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 1490 01:24:11,500 --> 01:24:14,458 ARE YOU GUYS WATCHING THE CREDITS NOW? 1491 01:24:22,792 --> 01:24:24,458 OH, GOD! 1492 01:24:26,041 --> 01:24:28,625 ♪ ALL THE THINGS THAT SHE USED TO BRING 1493 01:24:28,625 --> 01:24:31,708 ♪ ALL THE SONGS THAT SHE USED TO SING ♪ 1494 01:24:31,708 --> 01:24:33,750 CHICKS FREAK ON THIS GUY. 1495 01:24:33,750 --> 01:24:35,667 YOU OWE ME...AW, SHEESH. 1496 01:24:40,792 --> 01:24:45,417 HOW DO I LIVE WITHOUT... YEAH. COPY THAT. 1497 01:24:52,917 --> 01:24:55,834 IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT, HUH? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? 1498 01:24:59,166 --> 01:25:03,834 I THINK THERE'S ALWAYS TIME FOR A MOVIE MONTAGE. 1499 01:25:03,834 --> 01:25:07,208 ♪ IT NEVER ENDS ALL THE THINGS I USED TO SAY 1500 01:25:07,208 --> 01:25:09,875 ♪ ALL THE WORDS THAT GOT IN THE WAY 1501 01:25:09,875 --> 01:25:13,667 ♪ ALL THE THINGS THAT I USED TO KNOW HAVE GONE OUT THE WINDOW ♪ 1502 01:25:13,667 --> 01:25:19,834 -DON'T YOU LIKE HOW SEXY I AM? -OH! 1503 01:25:22,500 --> 01:25:27,500 OKAY! I'M NOT GONNA BE AFRAID! 1504 01:25:30,208 --> 01:25:32,875 I'M NOT! 1505 01:25:35,333 --> 01:25:40,041 IT'S A VERY BAD RUMOR. IT'S A RUMOR. I'M SERIOUS. CRAP. 1506 01:25:41,041 --> 01:25:42,583 OW. 1507 01:25:47,458 --> 01:25:49,083 -YOU REALLY GOT MY ASS THERE. -SORRY. 1508 01:25:49,083 --> 01:25:50,208 NO, IT'S GOOD. 1509 01:25:53,875 --> 01:25:54,875 CUT. 1510 01:26:03,375 --> 01:26:04,291 I LOOK BEAUTIFUL. 1511 01:26:04,291 --> 01:26:06,500 YOU LOOK AMAZING. 1512 01:26:06,500 --> 01:26:08,875 -I LOOK BEAUTIFUL. I LOOK BEAUTIFUL. -YOU DO. AMAZING. 1513 01:26:12,083 --> 01:26:13,792 ♪ WHEN IT'S OVER ♪ 1514 01:26:15,625 --> 01:26:18,041 WE CAN SIT HERE LIKE THIS ALL NIGHT. 1515 01:26:18,041 --> 01:26:19,750 I BET YOU MISS GRANDMA. 1516 01:26:19,750 --> 01:26:22,041 GRANDMA! 1517 01:26:22,041 --> 01:26:25,875 ♪ ALL THE THINGS THAT I USED TO SAY, ALL THE WORDS THAT GOT IN THE WAY 1518 01:26:25,875 --> 01:26:29,625 ♪ ALL THE THINGS THAT I USED TO KNOW HAVE GONE OUT THE WINDOW ♪ 1519 01:26:29,625 --> 01:26:30,750 I'M NOT BAH-JIGGITY. 1520 01:26:30,750 --> 01:26:33,208 YOU ARE SO BAH-JIGGITY. 1521 01:26:33,208 --> 01:26:35,834 ♪ ALL THE THINGS SHE USED TO BRING, ALL THE SONGS THAT SHE USED TO SING 1522 01:26:35,834 --> 01:26:40,083 ♪ ALL HER FAVORITE TV SHOWS HAVE GONE OUT THE WINDOW 1523 01:26:40,083 --> 01:26:45,208 ♪ ALL THE THINGS THAT I USED TO SAY, ALL THE WORDS THAT GOT IN THE WAY ♪ 1524 01:26:45,208 --> 01:26:47,792 IT'S JESUS. LOOK. IT'S JESUS. 1525 01:26:49,708 --> 01:26:51,542 ♪ ALL THE THINGS THAT SHE USED TO BRING ♪ 1526 01:26:51,542 --> 01:26:54,458 SO I GUESS A BLOW JOB'S OUT OF THE QUESTION? 1527 01:26:54,458 --> 01:26:56,458 OH, THAT IS THE SWEETEST THING. 1528 01:26:56,458 --> 01:26:57,667 Bye! 1529 01:27:02,959 --> 01:27:05,041 Director: CUT! 1530 01:27:05,041 --> 01:27:07,125 WELL, THAT WAS FUN. 1531 01:27:14,250 --> 01:27:16,625 ♪ CLOSE YOUR EYES 1532 01:27:16,625 --> 01:27:19,750 ♪ WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME YOUR HAND 1533 01:27:21,291 --> 01:27:23,166 ♪ DO YOU FEEL MY HEART BEATIN' 1534 01:27:24,291 --> 01:27:27,125 ♪ DO YOU UNDERSTAND 1535 01:27:27,125 --> 01:27:31,750 ♪ BABY, DO YOU FEEL THE SAME 1536 01:27:31,750 --> 01:27:36,166 ♪ AM I ONLY DREAMING 1537 01:27:36,166 --> 01:27:40,083 ♪ OR IS THIS BURNIN' BURNIN' 1538 01:27:40,083 --> 01:27:43,583 ♪ AN ETERNAL FLAME 1539 01:27:43,583 --> 01:27:46,333 ♪ SAY MY NAME SAY MY NAME 1540 01:27:46,333 --> 01:27:48,875 ♪ THE SUN SHINES THROUGH THE RAIN 1541 01:27:48,875 --> 01:27:52,083 ♪ A WHOLE LIFE SO LONELY 1542 01:27:52,083 --> 01:27:56,333 ♪ AND THEN YOU COME AND EASE THE PAIN 1543 01:27:56,333 --> 01:28:01,834 ♪ I DON'T WANNA LOSE THIS FEELING 1544 01:28:17,708 --> 01:28:19,208 ♪ BURNIN' 1545 01:28:22,542 --> 01:28:24,708 ♪ CLOSE YOUR EYES 1546 01:28:24,708 --> 01:28:28,625 ♪ AND GIVE ME YOUR HAND, BABY 1547 01:28:28,625 --> 01:28:33,000 ♪ DO YOU FEEL MY HEART BEATIN' 1548 01:28:33,000 --> 01:28:35,375 ♪ DO YOU UNDERSTAND 1549 01:28:35,375 --> 01:28:39,542 ♪ DO YOU FEEL THE SAME 1550 01:28:39,542 --> 01:28:44,041 ♪ AM I ONLY DREAMING 1551 01:28:44,041 --> 01:28:47,375 ♪ OR IS THIS BURNIN' 1552 01:28:47,375 --> 01:28:52,834 ♪ AN ETERNAL FLAME? ♪ 1553 01:30:38,667 --> 01:30:43,834 Uh, it's over. Buh-bye. Go home. 108016

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