All language subtitles for Ep n 03

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,995 --> 00:00:11,075 Everyone... fucks everyone... eventually. 2 00:00:11,155 --> 00:00:12,155 Sugar-tits. 3 00:00:12,235 --> 00:00:14,394 Don't speak to him. She is red zone! 4 00:00:14,395 --> 00:00:15,594 She's basically my sister. 5 00:00:15,595 --> 00:00:17,674 He calls her "my Lulu". 6 00:00:17,675 --> 00:00:20,554 I'm not in love with you. 7 00:00:20,555 --> 00:00:23,554 Why are you wearing a hat? 8 00:00:23,555 --> 00:00:25,714 Colin! 'I think you should live with me.' 9 00:00:25,715 --> 00:00:29,715 I think you would like being painted. I would be generous with your penis. 10 00:00:30,515 --> 00:00:34,074 - Fred. - Yeah. - This ain't never gonna happen. 11 00:00:34,075 --> 00:00:38,075 OK. 12 00:00:54,795 --> 00:00:57,234 Oh, please, if you're about to say something like 13 00:00:57,235 --> 00:00:59,874 "porn is killing sex" we are going to have a massive argument. 14 00:00:59,875 --> 00:01:02,634 - Please don't say it. - Porn is killing sex. - Bring it. 15 00:01:02,635 --> 00:01:05,514 Listen, hot chops, I've wanked over the entire internet. 16 00:01:05,515 --> 00:01:09,515 Computer screens used to give me faster boners than a flash of a tit and that is NOT nor mal. 17 00:01:09,555 --> 00:01:12,714 - Can we please stop talking about porn? - Lulu, you're supposed to be helping me! 18 00:01:12,715 --> 00:01:16,074 You know that a common side effect of excessive porn use is erectile dysfunction... 19 00:01:16,075 --> 00:01:19,154 - Are you getting better boners? - What do you think is holding the table up? 20 00:01:19,155 --> 00:01:20,514 Lulu, kitchen now! 21 00:01:20,515 --> 00:01:23,114 - Guys, am I too much? - Aiiiiiiii! Aiiiii! - Hot, hot, hot! 22 00:01:23,115 --> 00:01:25,114 You look lovely. 23 00:01:25,115 --> 00:01:27,074 Cheers. Sam helped. 24 00:01:27,075 --> 00:01:30,434 Ladies and gentlemen... This is my greatest achievement. 25 00:01:30,435 --> 00:01:34,435 You look SO hot! 26 00:01:40,995 --> 00:01:42,634 Here, try this. 27 00:01:42,635 --> 00:01:43,674 Is it a hot one? 28 00:01:43,675 --> 00:01:46,154 No. It's sweet. 29 00:01:46,155 --> 00:01:49,674 Oh, yeah. Thank you for letting me stay here. 30 00:01:49,675 --> 00:01:51,754 I know it can't have been ideal me 31 00:01:51,755 --> 00:01:54,474 just... turning up out of the... Oh, my GOD! 32 00:01:54,475 --> 00:01:58,475 You are a BASTARD! You bastard! You bastard! 33 00:01:58,515 --> 00:02:02,314 I should have seen it coming, you fucker! 34 00:02:02,315 --> 00:02:04,474 Fred, where's your date? We need to get going. 35 00:02:04,475 --> 00:02:06,834 - I'll call him again. - Stood UUPPP. 36 00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:08,794 - He's probably just got stuck on a... - Penis. 37 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,034 - Train. - Penis train. 38 00:02:10,035 --> 00:02:12,034 He'll be here. He's very reliable. 39 00:02:12,035 --> 00:02:14,674 Whoohoo! Reliable! 40 00:02:14,675 --> 00:02:17,314 So, go on, pray tell us all about the penis train. 41 00:02:17,315 --> 00:02:21,315 Oh, yeah, well... He-he's lovely. Yeah, he's really, um... 42 00:02:22,875 --> 00:02:26,034 He's just so nice to me, I-I don't... 43 00:02:26,035 --> 00:02:30,035 I just... I mean, it's... early days. 44 00:02:30,395 --> 00:02:32,154 What's wrong with you? It's broken. 45 00:02:32,155 --> 00:02:35,074 - Oh, it's broken! - Don't mess me up, OK? I like him. 46 00:02:35,075 --> 00:02:38,234 Yeah sure. Never seen you look so sexy. 47 00:02:38,235 --> 00:02:41,314 OK, here we go. Can we move that, please? 48 00:02:41,315 --> 00:02:42,674 - Yup. - OK. 49 00:02:42,675 --> 00:02:46,675 Tonight there will be three curries - this first one is... 50 00:02:46,755 --> 00:02:48,514 Vindalulu?! 51 00:02:48,515 --> 00:02:51,434 Yeah. No. Now it's called Katie Korma. 52 00:02:51,435 --> 00:02:53,474 What?! But it's not even a korma. 53 00:02:53,475 --> 00:02:57,475 No, it's always been a korma. You were just so chuffed with your wordplay I couldn't break it to you. 54 00:02:57,555 --> 00:02:59,754 - Wow. - It was named after you first? 55 00:02:59,755 --> 00:03:03,154 Oh, it seems I was just the holding name until he got himself an actual girlfriend. 56 00:03:03,155 --> 00:03:04,234 Fiancee. 57 00:03:04,235 --> 00:03:07,234 Fiancee. Sorry, I forgot people still did that. 58 00:03:07,235 --> 00:03:09,434 Don't get weird about it. It's a curry. 59 00:03:09,435 --> 00:03:11,034 I'm not being weird about it! 60 00:03:11,035 --> 00:03:12,914 He meant her. 61 00:03:12,915 --> 00:03:14,554 That's embarrassing. 62 00:03:14,555 --> 00:03:16,114 Ah. I'll get over it. 63 00:03:16,115 --> 00:03:19,074 - Where's Melody? - She's still painting Colin. - I bet she is. 64 00:03:19,075 --> 00:03:23,075 Lulu, go get her. 65 00:03:29,835 --> 00:03:33,835 Mate, if this bhaji was a hat, Kate would wear it to work. 66 00:03:33,915 --> 00:03:37,714 It's like you've come in my mouth. 67 00:03:37,715 --> 00:03:39,514 Thanks, guys. And the chutney? 68 00:03:43,755 --> 00:03:47,394 Mmmm, tastes like cunt. 69 00:03:47,395 --> 00:03:48,754 Thanks, baby. 70 00:03:48,755 --> 00:03:50,674 - OK, OK, OK. - Don't. 71 00:03:50,675 --> 00:03:52,794 But why not-ah? It's curry night! 72 00:03:52,795 --> 00:03:53,914 It's offensive. 73 00:03:53,915 --> 00:03:55,154 What? WHY? I'm good at it... 74 00:03:55,155 --> 00:03:57,754 No, you're not. Can we just serve the curry? 75 00:03:57,755 --> 00:03:59,314 - Yeah. - But why is it offensive? 76 00:03:59,315 --> 00:04:02,874 Would you say that this is offensive, now Anthony? - Yes. Very. 77 00:04:02,875 --> 00:04:05,634 Is this? This is, like, totally offensive, right? 78 00:04:05,635 --> 00:04:08,434 - Doing an Indian accent is different. - Why can't I do an Indian accent? 79 00:04:08,435 --> 00:04:12,435 I'm not taking the piss out of Indian people, I'm just doing the accent-ah on curry nigh t-ah! 80 00:04:13,035 --> 00:04:14,554 It's racist. OK. 81 00:04:14,555 --> 00:04:15,994 How is it racist?! 82 00:04:15,995 --> 00:04:18,554 It just is. It makes me feel uncomfortable. 83 00:04:18,555 --> 00:04:21,834 - Because it makes you feel like you are around Indian people? - No. I didn't say... 84 00:04:21,835 --> 00:04:24,874 - Am I making you feel uncomfortable, Kate? - Do you want him to leave? 85 00:04:24,875 --> 00:04:28,634 I just feel there are certain connotations that come with mocking certain accents. 86 00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:30,674 Come on, it's not the 1980s any more. 87 00:04:30,675 --> 00:04:33,114 You can do an accent without it being mocking! 88 00:04:33,115 --> 00:04:35,674 Is this offending any of you, darlings? 89 00:04:35,675 --> 00:04:37,034 I just got hard. 90 00:04:37,035 --> 00:04:41,035 You can't censor an Indian accent just because it makes YOU feel uncomfortable. 91 00:04:41,075 --> 00:04:42,554 If anything, that's racist. 92 00:04:42,555 --> 00:04:46,555 I don't know why it makes me feel weird. It just does. 93 00:04:47,235 --> 00:04:49,714 Oh, do the accent, Katy. 94 00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:54,114 Do the accent, Katy. 95 00:04:54,115 --> 00:04:55,674 No! 96 00:04:55,675 --> 00:04:57,714 Can we just, um... 97 00:04:57,715 --> 00:05:00,714 The pomegranate seeds might be a little bit too much, I'm not sure. 98 00:05:00,715 --> 00:05:04,715 - What, there's... - They're in the raita. 99 00:05:05,235 --> 00:05:09,235 I'm going to pop my belly if I don't have my papadums soon, ya? 100 00:05:09,555 --> 00:05:13,555 You understand me, ya? 101 00:05:16,915 --> 00:05:18,074 Maybe it is racist. 102 00:05:18,075 --> 00:05:20,674 Jesus, Kate. 103 00:05:20,675 --> 00:05:22,434 This is really beautiful food. 104 00:05:22,435 --> 00:05:25,394 Yeah, with herbs it would be even better, actually. 105 00:05:25,395 --> 00:05:29,234 It shouldn't really need herbs. 106 00:05:29,235 --> 00:05:33,034 The worst thing about it is, a part of him always knew it was 107 00:05:33,035 --> 00:05:36,754 happening, but he was just too much of a coward to be alone. 108 00:05:36,755 --> 00:05:39,914 He'd rather have her while she's being licked out by her accountant, 109 00:05:39,915 --> 00:05:41,634 than not have her at all. 110 00:05:41,635 --> 00:05:45,635 Romantic, pathetic, beautiful. It's so many things. 111 00:05:48,195 --> 00:05:52,195 Wow. 112 00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:55,354 Yes, I wasn't expecting her to tell you all that. 113 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:56,754 You're through the worst now. 114 00:05:56,755 --> 00:06:00,114 He also has sometimes touched himself thinking of the two of them together. 115 00:06:00,115 --> 00:06:03,954 He is a sexually complicated man. But with a huge heart. 116 00:06:03,955 --> 00:06:06,394 - Right. - A huge, broken, heart. 117 00:06:06,395 --> 00:06:08,754 - OK, Melody. - Shattered. 118 00:06:08,755 --> 00:06:09,874 Bum out. 119 00:06:09,875 --> 00:06:13,434 No, no, look. She has found love with Brian. 120 00:06:13,435 --> 00:06:15,034 I cannot begrudge her that. 121 00:06:15,035 --> 00:06:18,674 Your pain is so beautiful. 122 00:06:18,675 --> 00:06:19,914 Thank you. 123 00:06:19,915 --> 00:06:23,915 - Have you been in touch with Cara? - Yes... She, uh... sent me a photo of her garden. 124 00:06:25,355 --> 00:06:26,474 Her front garden? 125 00:06:26,475 --> 00:06:29,314 No, although she does have a lovely little front garden. 126 00:06:29,315 --> 00:06:31,914 But I only paid attention to the back garden. 127 00:06:31,915 --> 00:06:34,274 More space for aggressive seeding and such. 128 00:06:34,275 --> 00:06:37,114 It was rather a weekend passion of mine. 129 00:06:37,115 --> 00:06:39,794 Can we see a picture of her back garden? 130 00:06:39,795 --> 00:06:43,795 Of course. If you like that sort of thing. 131 00:06:43,835 --> 00:06:45,634 Here are the lovely camellias. 132 00:06:45,635 --> 00:06:49,194 And you can just make out that climbing rose blossoming 133 00:06:49,195 --> 00:06:51,514 through the sweet peas. - What's that? 134 00:06:51,515 --> 00:06:54,074 That's Brian jumping through the sprinkler in front 135 00:06:54,075 --> 00:06:55,274 of the chrysanthemums. 136 00:06:55,275 --> 00:06:59,074 - He's very... - Hairy, yes. 137 00:06:59,075 --> 00:07:03,075 I haven't that gift, I'm afraid. 138 00:07:04,075 --> 00:07:08,075 I think it's beautiful. That you tried. She let you down. 139 00:07:09,315 --> 00:07:13,315 You held your end up. Good for you. 140 00:07:14,075 --> 00:07:17,834 Thank you, Sam. 141 00:07:17,835 --> 00:07:21,835 - Are you trying to have sex with someone here? - No. 142 00:07:29,155 --> 00:07:33,155 OK. It's Ukululu time. We're going to play Truth Songs. 143 00:07:34,315 --> 00:07:35,754 So, fill your cups. 144 00:07:35,755 --> 00:07:37,914 It's time to get to know each other properly 145 00:07:37,915 --> 00:07:40,874 and these are the only two ways I know how to do it. 146 00:07:40,875 --> 00:07:43,274 I have work tomorrow. Ah, we all do. 147 00:07:43,275 --> 00:07:44,994 - Well... - What? 148 00:07:44,995 --> 00:07:46,554 You're a receptionist. 149 00:07:46,555 --> 00:07:47,914 And? 150 00:07:47,915 --> 00:07:51,915 Well... 151 00:07:53,315 --> 00:07:55,914 Sing one about this deliciously spicy curry! 152 00:07:55,915 --> 00:07:59,194 OK. 153 00:07:59,195 --> 00:08:02,114 # I really liked the curry 154 00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:05,794 # Which is really lucky 155 00:08:05,795 --> 00:08:09,714 # Cos Kate told us to big it up whether we did or not. # 156 00:08:13,675 --> 00:08:15,274 Is that true? 157 00:08:15,275 --> 00:08:16,514 No. 158 00:08:16,515 --> 00:08:18,634 Yes. Who's next?! 159 00:08:18,635 --> 00:08:19,794 Kate do one! 160 00:08:19,795 --> 00:08:20,914 Excellent idea! 161 00:08:20,915 --> 00:08:22,954 - Do one about... - Nothing sexual, please. 162 00:08:22,955 --> 00:08:24,354 ...orgasms! 163 00:08:24,355 --> 00:08:26,354 I'm not going to sing about orgasms! 164 00:08:26,355 --> 00:08:28,594 Come on! 165 00:08:33,195 --> 00:08:37,195 # They feel really nice 166 00:08:39,275 --> 00:08:43,275 # They feel really nice 167 00:08:45,355 --> 00:08:49,355 # I really like orgasms 168 00:08:52,155 --> 00:08:56,155 # They happen down there. # 169 00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:06,475 You nailed it, babe. 170 00:09:07,675 --> 00:09:10,794 I want to do one with Colin, about love. 171 00:09:10,795 --> 00:09:14,795 Hold my hand. 172 00:09:16,635 --> 00:09:20,635 - # Oooooo - Oooooo 173 00:09:21,675 --> 00:09:25,675 # Why am I here? 174 00:09:27,795 --> 00:09:31,795 # Most mornings I wish I was dead. # 175 00:09:38,115 --> 00:09:42,034 Wow. 176 00:09:42,035 --> 00:09:43,394 Fucking amazing. 177 00:09:44,715 --> 00:09:48,715 Second curry. 178 00:09:55,675 --> 00:09:56,794 What's that smell? 179 00:09:56,795 --> 00:09:58,154 It's the next curry. 180 00:09:58,155 --> 00:10:00,994 Ooh, lovely. Why did you tell Lulu about my orgasm thing? 181 00:10:00,995 --> 00:10:03,874 I didn't. Why did you tell everyone to pretend to like my meal? 182 00:10:03,875 --> 00:10:06,874 I didn't. Why did you tell Lulu I've never jizzed? 183 00:10:06,875 --> 00:10:09,634 I didn't! Baby, you can't say jizzed. 184 00:10:09,635 --> 00:10:11,154 Well, she's fucking intuitive then, 185 00:10:11,155 --> 00:10:13,394 picking ME to sing the one song about orgasms. 186 00:10:13,395 --> 00:10:14,474 Lucky I pulled it off. 187 00:10:14,475 --> 00:10:16,074 Later. Please. This one is fish. 188 00:10:16,075 --> 00:10:17,474 It's all in the timing. 189 00:10:17,475 --> 00:10:19,154 Promise me she doesn't know. 190 00:10:19,155 --> 00:10:20,354 I promise. 191 00:10:20,355 --> 00:10:23,594 - Swear on our future children. - I swear. 192 00:10:23,595 --> 00:10:27,995 # Kate can't co-me. # 193 00:10:31,555 --> 00:10:32,954 I was singing about how... 194 00:10:32,955 --> 00:10:36,074 how you can't come to the cinema with Sam and Fred tomorrow. 195 00:10:36,075 --> 00:10:37,634 - Sure. - Seriously, I didn't know. 196 00:10:37,635 --> 00:10:38,834 Seriously, it's OK. 197 00:10:38,835 --> 00:10:42,274 I didn't know. Anthony never tells me anything any more. Seriously. 198 00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:46,275 I'm sorry. 199 00:10:48,075 --> 00:10:51,114 I don't want to talk about it. 200 00:10:51,115 --> 00:10:52,434 OK. 201 00:10:52,435 --> 00:10:54,594 I can get the ukulele if you'd rather sing about it. 202 00:10:54,595 --> 00:10:58,595 - I could fucking murder you sometimes. - Sorry. 203 00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:00,994 Hey, I'm a good listener, though. 204 00:11:00,995 --> 00:11:04,434 - I'm sure you... - What? 205 00:11:04,435 --> 00:11:08,194 I just feel like everyone else can jizz at the drop of a cock. 206 00:11:08,195 --> 00:11:09,554 Tell me about it. 207 00:11:09,555 --> 00:11:11,354 You struggle as well? 208 00:11:11,355 --> 00:11:13,314 Oh, no, sorry. I'm one of the lucky ones. 209 00:11:13,315 --> 00:11:15,634 I get close just looking at The Shard. 210 00:11:15,635 --> 00:11:17,834 Huh... 211 00:11:17,835 --> 00:11:19,434 Lulu, get out, come on. 212 00:11:19,435 --> 00:11:21,674 I can feel you ruining my relationship from here. 213 00:11:21,675 --> 00:11:24,714 It's OK, baby. I know you didn't say anything. We're just chatting. 214 00:11:24,715 --> 00:11:26,154 - About what? - The Shard. 215 00:11:26,155 --> 00:11:28,314 - Get out of there! - We're bonding! 216 00:11:28,315 --> 00:11:31,114 I'm serious! She's a teenage boy, she has nothing to offer! 217 00:11:31,115 --> 00:11:33,194 It's OK, baby. We'll be down in a minute. 218 00:11:33,195 --> 00:11:35,074 I know you didn't tell her anything. 219 00:11:35,075 --> 00:11:37,234 Yeah, well, I don't like it. 220 00:11:37,235 --> 00:11:40,074 Is it really gross for you to talk about all this stuff? 221 00:11:40,075 --> 00:11:42,194 I know you two are like siblings, right? 222 00:11:42,195 --> 00:11:46,074 - No, it's fine. - Siblings... right? 223 00:11:46,075 --> 00:11:47,954 Yes. 224 00:11:47,955 --> 00:11:50,354 Look, the main thing about orgasms... 225 00:11:50,355 --> 00:11:53,314 Oh, fuck's sake. I HAVE jizzed. 226 00:11:53,315 --> 00:11:56,554 I've just never... 227 00:11:56,555 --> 00:11:58,314 ...with Anthony. 228 00:11:58,315 --> 00:12:00,554 - Ooh. - Please don't tell him I told you. 229 00:12:00,555 --> 00:12:02,634 - Course. - I don't want it to mean we're not happy. 230 00:12:02,635 --> 00:12:04,114 It doesn't. 231 00:12:04,115 --> 00:12:06,434 Happy people jizz. 232 00:12:06,435 --> 00:12:09,754 Everyone has a thing. You probably just haven't found yours yet. 233 00:12:09,755 --> 00:12:12,354 You've got to keep experimenting. Don't give up. 234 00:12:14,955 --> 00:12:16,834 Thanks. 235 00:12:16,835 --> 00:12:19,994 (I did actually come in here because I need a poo.) 236 00:12:19,995 --> 00:12:23,995 Sure. 237 00:12:28,155 --> 00:12:29,674 Hey. 238 00:12:29,675 --> 00:12:30,914 What are you doing? 239 00:12:30,915 --> 00:12:32,594 Wow! Nothing. 240 00:12:32,595 --> 00:12:36,595 Come on. Tell me, like... Why is this one not right for me? 241 00:12:36,715 --> 00:12:40,154 Too kind? Too successful? 242 00:12:40,155 --> 00:12:41,514 Too attractive? 243 00:12:41,515 --> 00:12:43,554 You've got a bogey. 244 00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:47,555 I know that's not true. 245 00:12:48,155 --> 00:12:50,114 Fuck you. 246 00:12:50,115 --> 00:12:52,554 No, come on. Please, tell me. 247 00:12:52,555 --> 00:12:55,034 - I do think she's right for you. - Yeah? - Yeah. 248 00:12:55,035 --> 00:12:56,314 Thanks. 249 00:12:56,315 --> 00:12:58,634 I'm just not sure you're right for her. 250 00:12:58,635 --> 00:13:02,354 You don't even come together. 251 00:13:02,355 --> 00:13:06,355 I told you that in confidence. 252 00:13:06,555 --> 00:13:10,434 Aw, shit. Lulu... 253 00:13:10,435 --> 00:13:13,434 ...I'm really fucking happy now. 254 00:13:13,435 --> 00:13:17,435 I don't think you are. 255 00:13:20,595 --> 00:13:23,114 Stop trying to fuck Sam. 256 00:13:23,115 --> 00:13:27,115 You're embarrassing yourself and I don't want him to catch anything. 257 00:13:29,995 --> 00:13:33,434 Hey, guys. Sorry to interruptaroo. 258 00:13:33,435 --> 00:13:37,435 You don't know where I can find a little fella called Fred, do you? 259 00:13:46,995 --> 00:13:50,154 - Go on! - No, no way! No, I hardly know you guys. 260 00:13:50,155 --> 00:13:54,155 Look, if I can do a song, then you can! It's rather liberating. 261 00:13:54,195 --> 00:13:57,594 Yeah, it doesn't matter if you can't sing, it's not about that. It's about truth! 262 00:13:57,595 --> 00:14:00,474 Just fucking do it. 263 00:14:00,475 --> 00:14:03,394 Only if Fred gives me the topic. 264 00:14:03,395 --> 00:14:07,395 Ooh, me? Oh, I don't know... I feel under pressure now. 265 00:14:07,635 --> 00:14:09,314 - How about, um... - Cock? 266 00:14:09,315 --> 00:14:10,634 Sam. 267 00:14:10,635 --> 00:14:12,674 How about... penguins? 268 00:14:12,675 --> 00:14:14,394 - Lovely! 269 00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:15,834 Excellent choice, Fred. 270 00:14:15,835 --> 00:14:19,835 Classic Fred. 271 00:14:22,955 --> 00:14:26,955 # I'll sing you a song about penguins and... # 272 00:14:27,235 --> 00:14:28,914 Oh, oh, my God. 273 00:14:28,915 --> 00:14:31,994 Oh, no, no! It's good. One more go, one more go. 274 00:14:31,995 --> 00:14:35,995 - Just do it again. - All right, come on. With groove, groove it. 275 00:14:39,595 --> 00:14:43,595 # And I wish that I could sing about those penguins 276 00:14:46,875 --> 00:14:50,875 # But all that I have in my head, yeah 277 00:14:53,755 --> 00:14:56,954 # Is a tune, a tune, a tune 278 00:14:56,955 --> 00:15:00,874 # About the most beautiful creature in the world 279 00:15:00,875 --> 00:15:03,954 # So I guess I got to sing 280 00:15:03,955 --> 00:15:06,474 # So I guess I got to sing 281 00:15:06,475 --> 00:15:10,474 # I got to sing about Fred! # 282 00:15:18,075 --> 00:15:19,394 I want to do one. 283 00:15:19,395 --> 00:15:20,594 You can't beat that! 284 00:15:20,595 --> 00:15:23,234 I think I surprised myself with that one! 285 00:15:23,235 --> 00:15:25,514 Oh-oh-oh-oh! 286 00:15:25,515 --> 00:15:28,554 I'm going to have to strap you in, baby girl. 287 00:15:28,555 --> 00:15:30,874 Oh! 288 00:15:30,875 --> 00:15:34,434 Why am I the only ones drunk? 289 00:15:34,435 --> 00:15:38,154 Cos you drank everyone's wine. 290 00:15:38,155 --> 00:15:40,954 Sam, help me, would you? 291 00:15:40,955 --> 00:15:44,955 - Sam? - Yeah. 292 00:15:45,435 --> 00:15:46,714 So, Lulu... 293 00:15:46,715 --> 00:15:49,354 - Pretty full-on, yeah. - She's trying to piss me off. 294 00:15:49,355 --> 00:15:51,354 She doesn't actually want to have sex with you. 295 00:15:51,355 --> 00:15:54,554 - She does. - She doesn't. Mmm. She does. 296 00:15:54,555 --> 00:15:56,594 She doesn't. 297 00:15:56,595 --> 00:15:58,794 - She does. - I don't have time to do this. 298 00:15:58,795 --> 00:16:01,354 She doesn't. 299 00:16:01,355 --> 00:16:05,194 She doesn't. 300 00:16:05,195 --> 00:16:07,554 Can you carry those in? 301 00:16:07,555 --> 00:16:11,555 So, just to be clear... you still want to bang Lulu? 302 00:16:12,115 --> 00:16:14,314 No! No. 303 00:16:14,315 --> 00:16:16,594 OK, cool! So she's not red zone any more? 304 00:16:16,595 --> 00:16:18,194 - Do what you want, man. - Really? 305 00:16:18,195 --> 00:16:19,754 No! 306 00:16:19,755 --> 00:16:22,274 But, yeah, sure. But no. 307 00:16:22,275 --> 00:16:24,034 - Yeah? - Yeah. 308 00:16:24,035 --> 00:16:27,914 No. Cool? 309 00:16:27,915 --> 00:16:29,194 Are you OK? 310 00:16:29,195 --> 00:16:30,874 No. 311 00:16:30,875 --> 00:16:34,714 That'll keep me busy for a couple of weeks. And then... Colin? 312 00:16:34,715 --> 00:16:36,874 I suppose a drop more can't hurt. 313 00:16:36,875 --> 00:16:40,794 Then I'm whisking Fred away to this lovely little villa 314 00:16:40,795 --> 00:16:42,514 that I've got in Palma. 315 00:16:42,515 --> 00:16:43,994 - Aw, how romantic. 316 00:16:43,995 --> 00:16:45,674 Are we nearly finished? 317 00:16:45,675 --> 00:16:47,234 - Nope, no-one move. 318 00:16:47,235 --> 00:16:50,234 - Ow! Melody, Fred hit me! - Fred, do it again. 319 00:16:50,235 --> 00:16:52,514 Give me that. I'm so sorry about this, Will. 320 00:16:52,515 --> 00:16:54,594 Don't make crazy Fred come to town, OK? 321 00:16:54,595 --> 00:16:58,354 Oh! 322 00:16:58,355 --> 00:17:00,674 You have ruined the shirt! 323 00:17:00,675 --> 00:17:04,675 It was my shirt! I've ruined MY shirt. And "crazy Fred"? 324 00:17:05,075 --> 00:17:06,434 Oh, you're adorable. 325 00:17:06,435 --> 00:17:08,674 Stop touching me. I'm not adorable. 326 00:17:08,675 --> 00:17:12,194 - I'm a man. - All right, stop showing off, you little squid. 327 00:17:12,195 --> 00:17:13,594 I made you. 328 00:17:13,595 --> 00:17:16,234 Excuse me? 329 00:17:16,235 --> 00:17:18,314 Give me my shirt back. 330 00:17:18,315 --> 00:17:21,154 - What? - I don't think that's necessary, is it? 331 00:17:21,155 --> 00:17:25,155 Now. 332 00:17:28,155 --> 00:17:31,394 All yours. 333 00:17:31,395 --> 00:17:32,994 OK... 334 00:17:32,995 --> 00:17:35,994 Now let's play... 335 00:17:35,995 --> 00:17:39,754 "who's going to have sex tonight?" 336 00:17:39,755 --> 00:17:41,754 Melody and Colin! 337 00:17:41,755 --> 00:17:43,314 That is not what this is. 338 00:17:43,315 --> 00:17:47,194 Oh, come on. We've all seen you sneaking out of Melody's room 339 00:17:47,195 --> 00:17:49,954 like a satisfied little squirrel. 340 00:17:49,955 --> 00:17:52,074 - Come on, Colin. - Aw, Lolita, don't run! 341 00:17:52,075 --> 00:17:54,194 Oh, God, I think I'll, erm... 342 00:17:54,195 --> 00:17:57,914 It's OK, Colin. You're going through a big life change. 343 00:17:57,915 --> 00:18:00,554 You're bound to make very odd decisions. 344 00:18:00,555 --> 00:18:02,114 I understand English, you know. 345 00:18:02,115 --> 00:18:03,514 Why is everyone freaking out? 346 00:18:03,515 --> 00:18:05,634 Zey are lovers. Let zem be! 347 00:18:05,635 --> 00:18:07,234 Is zat offensive, Anthony? 348 00:18:07,235 --> 00:18:09,154 He's not my lover! 349 00:18:09,155 --> 00:18:13,155 He's my muse! 350 00:18:18,115 --> 00:18:20,474 - Please excuse me. 351 00:18:20,475 --> 00:18:21,954 - Merci. 352 00:18:21,955 --> 00:18:23,994 - I warned you he was fragile. - He's an adult. 353 00:18:23,995 --> 00:18:26,714 - Well, he just stormed off like a little baby. - Your muse?! 354 00:18:26,715 --> 00:18:29,834 - Well, I think that's just lovely. - Me, too. - No, you don't. 355 00:18:29,835 --> 00:18:31,834 Like an artist's muse?! 356 00:18:31,835 --> 00:18:33,994 - Just lovely. - Yes, he is! 357 00:18:33,995 --> 00:18:37,474 You think meeting someone like Colin happens to artists all the time?! 358 00:18:37,475 --> 00:18:38,954 He gives SO much. 359 00:18:38,955 --> 00:18:42,594 Yeah, sure, and you just lap it up and just slap it on a canvas. 360 00:18:42,595 --> 00:18:43,674 Pardon? 361 00:18:43,675 --> 00:18:47,675 "His pain is so beautiful." You're using him to indulge yourself. 362 00:18:48,115 --> 00:18:50,994 I am indulging. And what is this? 363 00:18:50,995 --> 00:18:53,274 That is a 4£ bottle of wine. 364 00:18:54,795 --> 00:18:56,954 What did I just say?! That's expensive! 365 00:18:56,955 --> 00:18:58,914 Can we all grow up for a second here, please? 366 00:18:58,915 --> 00:19:01,554 - I can't believe you can't come. - Sorry if I upset you, Melody. 367 00:19:01,555 --> 00:19:03,634 You don't upset me. You bore me. 368 00:19:03,635 --> 00:19:07,635 All you seem to want to do is drink and wank and drink and wank. 369 00:19:07,715 --> 00:19:11,154 Well, at least I don't have to wank other people's pain onto a canvas, 370 00:19:11,155 --> 00:19:14,394 and then shove it in people's faces and call it "my art." 371 00:19:14,395 --> 00:19:16,794 Well, at least I don't have to stare at other people's 372 00:19:16,795 --> 00:19:19,234 miserable, naked bodies to make me feel something. 373 00:19:19,235 --> 00:19:20,434 This is so hot. 374 00:19:20,435 --> 00:19:22,714 Isn't that exactly what you're doing with Colin? 375 00:19:22,715 --> 00:19:24,874 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, should I call him your muse? 376 00:19:24,875 --> 00:19:27,154 Maybe Kate should try staring at a naked Colin 377 00:19:27,155 --> 00:19:28,674 to help her orgasm debut. 378 00:19:28,675 --> 00:19:30,114 I have had an orgasm! 379 00:19:30,115 --> 00:19:32,474 You are all obsessed with sex! 380 00:19:32,475 --> 00:19:35,634 - Don't walk out on this, this is the big one, this is the curr-icane! 381 00:19:35,635 --> 00:19:38,074 I can't bear it, mate. I'm going to have to make her come. 382 00:19:38,075 --> 00:19:39,554 I have had an orgasm! 383 00:19:39,555 --> 00:19:43,555 This is a very delicate mix of three very unusual, sought-after spices. 384 00:19:43,675 --> 00:19:46,874 This is the first time I've managed to make it. Three days to marinate. 385 00:19:46,875 --> 00:19:50,514 - What does it feel like, then? - Oh, leave her alone. - Can we focus on the curries, please? 386 00:19:50,515 --> 00:19:53,234 - You blatantly haven't. - She has! - I have had an orgasm! 387 00:19:53,235 --> 00:19:57,235 She's just never orgasmed with Anthony! 388 00:19:59,275 --> 00:20:03,275 Can we drop... the wind-ups... for a second, Lu?! 389 00:20:12,355 --> 00:20:14,954 OK... 390 00:20:14,955 --> 00:20:18,955 I am just going to gather up all of this negative energy 391 00:20:19,915 --> 00:20:22,754 and I'm just going to pop it in here, OK? 392 00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:26,755 Don't put it in there. I've spent three days marinating! 393 00:20:32,395 --> 00:20:35,674 - No! - Oh, God, it's delicious, it's delicious. 394 00:20:35,675 --> 00:20:38,914 - Come on, baby, let's go to bed. - Try. - Anthony. 395 00:20:38,915 --> 00:20:40,474 - Fuck! - I'll do it, I'll do it! 396 00:20:40,475 --> 00:20:42,394 Aww. Our first fight. 397 00:20:42,395 --> 00:20:46,395 G'day. I'm going to go and get you a big pint of water, OK? 398 00:20:46,635 --> 00:20:49,594 Fred, have you got some cups and some cloths? 399 00:20:49,595 --> 00:20:53,595 Yes. Sure. This way. 400 00:20:54,315 --> 00:20:56,514 Your friends are lunatics. 401 00:20:56,515 --> 00:20:58,634 I know. 402 00:20:58,635 --> 00:20:59,834 Ugh! 403 00:21:05,355 --> 00:21:07,234 Oooh... 404 00:21:07,235 --> 00:21:08,554 Hey. 405 00:21:08,555 --> 00:21:10,634 Ooh. 406 00:21:10,635 --> 00:21:11,914 Hey, hey, hey. 407 00:21:11,915 --> 00:21:14,634 It's tempting, Chuckles, but I'm too full. 408 00:21:14,635 --> 00:21:16,514 Aw, come on. Get your tits out. 409 00:21:16,515 --> 00:21:18,794 We can't. 410 00:21:18,795 --> 00:21:21,074 Sorry. 411 00:21:21,075 --> 00:21:22,954 No! 412 00:21:22,955 --> 00:21:26,474 I'll let you call me Fred! 413 00:21:26,475 --> 00:21:30,475 That was a joke. 414 00:21:42,915 --> 00:21:44,434 I thought you left. 415 00:21:44,435 --> 00:21:45,754 So did I. 416 00:21:45,755 --> 00:21:48,594 - You don't have to be here if you can't handle... - No. 417 00:21:48,595 --> 00:21:52,595 I want to be here. 418 00:21:54,755 --> 00:21:57,794 I want to be the pain in your paintings... 419 00:21:57,795 --> 00:22:01,795 so to speak. 420 00:22:08,315 --> 00:22:12,315 Merci, Colin. 421 00:22:16,955 --> 00:22:18,234 Yup. 422 00:22:18,235 --> 00:22:19,874 That's OK. 423 00:22:19,875 --> 00:22:23,314 Yup. Yup. 424 00:22:23,315 --> 00:22:24,914 This is humiliating. 425 00:22:24,915 --> 00:22:28,915 No, baby, it's not. We've just got to find our... thing. 426 00:22:29,915 --> 00:22:32,714 I'm sorry. 427 00:22:32,715 --> 00:22:35,274 I don't want to... Whoo! 428 00:22:35,275 --> 00:22:37,354 ...cry in front of you, but... 429 00:22:37,355 --> 00:22:40,274 No, no... That's fine. 430 00:22:40,275 --> 00:22:43,074 Maybe we're just going to have to admit that we're not... 431 00:22:43,075 --> 00:22:45,914 Keep crying. Don't stop crying... 432 00:22:45,915 --> 00:22:47,874 ...compatible... - Yeah! 433 00:22:47,875 --> 00:22:51,875 - Keep going. - ..together. - Think about how sad that makes you. 434 00:22:52,075 --> 00:22:54,034 Keep crying! 435 00:22:54,035 --> 00:22:56,274 Cry! Cry! 436 00:22:56,275 --> 00:22:58,794 Oh, yeah! Please, cry! 437 00:22:58,795 --> 00:23:00,474 Oh, you're sad! Yeah! 438 00:23:00,475 --> 00:23:04,475 Ugh! UGH! 439 00:23:08,635 --> 00:23:12,635 - Did you...? - Yep. 440 00:23:13,155 --> 00:23:16,635 Yeah, I did. 32518

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