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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,995 --> 00:00:06,995 - Why are you topless? - I'm being free! 2 00:00:08,936 --> 00:00:13,502 - You are one of us now. - Yes, I suppose I am. 3 00:00:13,504 --> 00:00:16,429 - I love you. Ssh. - 'It's not cool, how you talk to Fred.' 4 00:00:19,135 --> 00:00:22,574 - I can fuck who I like. - No, you can't. 5 00:00:22,575 --> 00:00:24,454 Anthony's not going to like this! 6 00:00:24,455 --> 00:00:26,334 Anthony's not going to know about this. 7 00:00:26,335 --> 00:00:30,335 I think I've been pretending to be in love with you. 8 00:00:46,655 --> 00:00:48,334 - I love you! - Jesus! 9 00:00:48,335 --> 00:00:49,814 I fancy you. 10 00:00:49,815 --> 00:00:51,894 Yeah, I... 11 00:00:51,895 --> 00:00:53,254 ...fancy you, too. 12 00:00:53,255 --> 00:00:55,134 Hm! 13 00:00:55,135 --> 00:00:56,494 That's nice. 14 00:00:56,495 --> 00:00:59,094 Oh, crazy, huh?! 15 00:00:59,095 --> 00:01:00,814 I don't remember a t'ing! 16 00:01:00,815 --> 00:01:04,815 Good luck at work today. Mwah! 17 00:01:20,775 --> 00:01:22,814 I feel just fantastic! 18 00:01:22,815 --> 00:01:25,334 Isn't it just a fantastic day?! 19 00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:26,814 It's a marvellous day! 20 00:01:26,815 --> 00:01:30,254 Well, come and do the Fantastic, Marvellous Day dance with me, then. 21 00:01:30,255 --> 00:01:31,974 OK! 22 00:01:31,975 --> 00:01:33,934 Oh! Oop! 23 00:01:33,935 --> 00:01:37,935 I love this place! 24 00:01:40,895 --> 00:01:43,294 Would you ever let me bum you? 25 00:01:46,295 --> 00:01:48,054 No! 26 00:01:48,055 --> 00:01:49,934 I like putting things IN other things. 27 00:01:49,935 --> 00:01:52,934 I think you'd get into it. It's good for angry men. 28 00:01:52,935 --> 00:01:54,734 Between you and Will, 29 00:01:54,735 --> 00:01:57,934 I cannot turn around without fearing for my sphincter. 30 00:01:57,935 --> 00:02:00,214 I'm going to have to buy a little shield for it. 31 00:02:00,215 --> 00:02:02,734 - Will? - The guy can't take his eyes off my hole. 32 00:02:02,735 --> 00:02:05,414 I can feel them boring through my jeans every time I bend over. 33 00:02:05,415 --> 00:02:08,174 You genuinely think everybody fancies you, don't you? 34 00:02:08,175 --> 00:02:12,175 They do. 35 00:02:19,255 --> 00:02:23,255 - Perk your aunt's morning up. - Get out! 36 00:02:24,495 --> 00:02:25,694 Oh, shit! 37 00:02:25,695 --> 00:02:26,974 What? 38 00:02:26,975 --> 00:02:30,814 It's "get out" time, babycakes. 39 00:02:30,815 --> 00:02:34,494 They're knocking us down. 40 00:02:34,495 --> 00:02:36,374 Where will all these people go? 41 00:02:36,375 --> 00:02:39,934 This is what happens. If you want to live like this, 42 00:02:39,935 --> 00:02:42,414 then you have to leave like this. 43 00:02:42,415 --> 00:02:46,415 OK... Pack what you like. The rest, we keep for firewood. 44 00:03:16,415 --> 00:03:18,334 You're the secret flower man?! 45 00:03:18,335 --> 00:03:21,254 So? Nothing wrong with brightening up the place a bit. 46 00:03:21,255 --> 00:03:23,254 Do you want one? 47 00:03:23,255 --> 00:03:26,094 Thanks! 48 00:03:26,095 --> 00:03:27,974 Hey, Sam... 49 00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:29,774 where are you going to move to? 50 00:03:29,775 --> 00:03:32,614 Oh, heard a rumour of an old fire station down south. 51 00:03:32,615 --> 00:03:34,574 So, thought I might slide in there. 52 00:03:34,575 --> 00:03:36,214 OK. Nice! 53 00:03:36,215 --> 00:03:37,894 I just thought, maybe... 54 00:03:37,895 --> 00:03:40,254 Could I come... with you? 55 00:03:40,255 --> 00:03:43,494 Just thought it would be nice to... stick together. 56 00:03:43,495 --> 00:03:46,014 - Sure. Whatever. - Really?! 57 00:03:46,015 --> 00:03:47,334 Yeah, let's do it! 58 00:03:47,335 --> 00:03:48,974 You tell anyone that I am flower man, 59 00:03:48,975 --> 00:03:51,974 that is going somewhere it ain't getting photosynthsizzled. 60 00:03:51,975 --> 00:03:55,975 Cross my heart. 61 00:04:02,735 --> 00:04:05,014 - Pretending? - And now she's pretending 62 00:04:05,015 --> 00:04:07,454 that she never said that she was pretending. 63 00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:10,374 Well, I think you are both dealing with it really well. 64 00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:13,094 - Oh! - You guys are the dream. Thank God you're getting married. 65 00:04:13,095 --> 00:04:15,094 What am I supposed to do now? Do I remind her? 66 00:04:15,095 --> 00:04:18,894 No! Just pretend you don't know she's pretending 67 00:04:18,895 --> 00:04:22,494 she never said she was pretending! 68 00:04:22,495 --> 00:04:25,894 Hey... 69 00:04:25,895 --> 00:04:27,934 Argh! 70 00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:29,574 No! No! 71 00:04:29,575 --> 00:04:31,334 I've never laughed at that! 72 00:04:31,335 --> 00:04:33,334 Ever! 73 00:04:33,335 --> 00:04:35,694 - What did you do last night? - No-one. 74 00:04:35,695 --> 00:04:39,695 I can't believe they can evict people on a weekend. 75 00:04:40,495 --> 00:04:41,854 It's Monday. 76 00:04:41,855 --> 00:04:45,374 Shut up. 77 00:04:45,375 --> 00:04:46,614 Yeah. 78 00:04:46,615 --> 00:04:47,654 - No. - Yeah. 79 00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:49,614 What?! Fuck! 80 00:04:49,615 --> 00:04:51,974 No, I have to go now! Like NOW now! 81 00:04:51,975 --> 00:04:54,334 Like, what happened to Sunday?! 82 00:04:54,335 --> 00:04:56,214 Oh, I'm so sweaty! 83 00:04:56,215 --> 00:04:58,814 Do these look like pyjamas?! 84 00:04:58,815 --> 00:05:02,815 Not at all. 85 00:05:06,855 --> 00:05:09,374 - I made you cafe. Un cafe pour... - Brilliant! 86 00:05:09,375 --> 00:05:13,375 - D'accord. - Merci. - Happy eviction, everybody! 87 00:05:13,575 --> 00:05:15,134 What a palaver, eh? 88 00:05:15,135 --> 00:05:16,774 This is insane! 89 00:05:16,775 --> 00:05:18,774 - Brekkie, Fred? - Freddy Chops, are you ready? 90 00:05:18,775 --> 00:05:21,294 Oh, Will's giving me a lift this morning. 91 00:05:21,295 --> 00:05:24,414 - I'm at Samaritans. It's just round the corner. - Samaritans Samaritans? 92 00:05:24,415 --> 00:05:27,094 Yeah, people call up in distress, looking for... 93 00:05:27,095 --> 00:05:29,654 - Upbeat Australian advice! - Yeah! 94 00:05:29,655 --> 00:05:31,174 Hey, who were you having 95 00:05:31,175 --> 00:05:33,734 that delicious-sounding sex with last night? 96 00:05:33,735 --> 00:05:35,614 My vote's on the fourth-floor yoga bunny. 97 00:05:35,615 --> 00:05:39,414 I wasn't having sex. I was... crying. 98 00:05:39,415 --> 00:05:42,174 Weren't you hanging late with Lulu last night? 99 00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:44,774 - Lulu?! - Sure. Yeah, me and Lulu, sure. 100 00:05:44,775 --> 00:05:48,374 - I'd rather slam my dick in a door! - Oh, my God! It was totally Lulu! 101 00:05:48,375 --> 00:05:50,054 - Was it? - No. 102 00:05:50,055 --> 00:05:52,174 It was so totally Lulu. 103 00:05:52,175 --> 00:05:53,854 - Was it? - Guys, leave him alone. 104 00:05:53,855 --> 00:05:56,054 Yeah, can we please just leave him and Lulu alone? 105 00:05:56,055 --> 00:05:58,094 It wasn't Lulu. I was crying. 106 00:05:58,095 --> 00:06:00,454 Yeah, right into Lulu's vagina! 107 00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:03,134 Ah! 108 00:06:03,135 --> 00:06:06,934 Hey, guys, I just wanted to say, I've found a new pad. 109 00:06:06,935 --> 00:06:10,334 - Oh, you got your period? - (Love your naughty sense of humour.) 110 00:06:10,335 --> 00:06:13,614 - No, I've got a flat, in Angel. - What?! Why didn't you say? 111 00:06:13,615 --> 00:06:16,254 - Congrats, man. - Thank you. I wanted to... I wanted to ask... 112 00:06:16,255 --> 00:06:19,334 Hey, mate, will you let Kate know we're both in on the new building? 113 00:06:19,335 --> 00:06:22,454 I wanted to ask Fred if he'd like to move in with me. 114 00:06:22,455 --> 00:06:24,854 Oh! 115 00:06:24,855 --> 00:06:26,694 Oh. Wow! 116 00:06:26,695 --> 00:06:30,534 It's got skirting boards, an oven, a bidet. It's got everything. 117 00:06:30,535 --> 00:06:32,974 And it's all yours. It's ours, if you want it. 118 00:06:32,975 --> 00:06:34,854 What do you say? 119 00:06:34,855 --> 00:06:36,774 Oh, boy... Um... 120 00:06:36,775 --> 00:06:39,534 Phew... 121 00:06:39,535 --> 00:06:42,334 Can I think about it? 122 00:06:42,335 --> 00:06:43,694 You sure can. 123 00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:47,695 Congrats, mate. 124 00:06:57,015 --> 00:06:58,374 Lulu? 125 00:06:58,375 --> 00:06:59,534 Lulu! 126 00:06:59,535 --> 00:07:03,535 - Hm? - Hi! Did anything come for me this morning? 127 00:07:04,015 --> 00:07:06,294 No. 128 00:07:06,295 --> 00:07:09,814 Who is that for? 129 00:07:09,815 --> 00:07:13,815 Kate. 130 00:07:16,935 --> 00:07:19,214 Yay! Perfect! 131 00:07:19,215 --> 00:07:22,854 I love it. By the way, if you feel ill, take the afternoon off. 132 00:07:22,855 --> 00:07:26,094 - Thanks. - Are those pyjamas? 133 00:07:26,095 --> 00:07:30,095 How dare you?! 134 00:07:30,655 --> 00:07:33,294 I mean, Samaritans, my arse. I bet he's out there 135 00:07:33,295 --> 00:07:35,974 just spanking old grandpas. There is NOTHING about him 136 00:07:35,975 --> 00:07:39,975 being a Samaritan online. - You could call them. See if you get him. 137 00:07:42,455 --> 00:07:46,455 - Colin! - 02079460423. They pick up really quickly. 138 00:07:52,415 --> 00:07:55,134 'Good afternoon. Samaritans. How can I help you today?' 139 00:07:55,135 --> 00:07:56,854 Oh. Oh, you can take me out, 140 00:07:56,855 --> 00:07:59,174 Charity Chops, that's what you can do. 141 00:07:59,175 --> 00:08:01,614 - (Don't disrespect them.) - 'Hello? Anyone there?' 142 00:08:03,415 --> 00:08:06,814 'Good afternoon. Samari-... 143 00:08:09,095 --> 00:08:12,414 'G'day. You're through to The Samaritans. 144 00:08:12,415 --> 00:08:15,334 'I'm guessing this means you got lost along the way. Am I right?' 145 00:08:15,335 --> 00:08:17,014 (He's real.) 146 00:08:17,015 --> 00:08:18,654 (Speak to him.) 147 00:08:18,655 --> 00:08:22,294 'Hello?' 148 00:08:22,295 --> 00:08:24,774 Hi, my name is Stephen. 149 00:08:24,775 --> 00:08:27,934 Hi, Stephen. I'm Will. You doing OK, buddy? 150 00:08:27,935 --> 00:08:29,254 'Not really.' 151 00:08:29,255 --> 00:08:31,854 I've got a pain in my arsehole. 152 00:08:31,855 --> 00:08:34,334 I can't actually give you any medical advice, I'm sorry. 153 00:08:34,335 --> 00:08:38,335 I've just done a poo in my hand and I'm about to go in for a meeting. 154 00:08:40,975 --> 00:08:42,894 You're a bit of joker, eh? 155 00:08:42,895 --> 00:08:45,934 'All right, you got me hands down. Ha! 156 00:08:45,935 --> 00:08:49,254 'Hey, I don't mean to pry, Stephen, ' 157 00:08:49,255 --> 00:08:51,700 but what happens when the laughter stops, mate? 158 00:09:01,155 --> 00:09:02,554 How can she PRETEND to love me? 159 00:09:02,555 --> 00:09:03,754 She was topless. 160 00:09:03,755 --> 00:09:06,314 Everyone says things they don't mean when they're topless. 161 00:09:06,315 --> 00:09:10,315 Did you get totally smashed on your own last night? 162 00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:11,794 I feel horrible. 163 00:09:11,795 --> 00:09:15,274 Oh, shit. It's Kate. She's got a balloon. What does that mean? 164 00:09:15,275 --> 00:09:19,275 God. Protect that with your life. 165 00:09:23,275 --> 00:09:26,274 Hi! Wow, look at that! 166 00:09:26,275 --> 00:09:27,994 I-love-you balloon. 167 00:09:27,995 --> 00:09:31,995 Yes! 168 00:09:32,075 --> 00:09:34,714 - You OK? - So I've been looking at properties in zone five, 169 00:09:34,715 --> 00:09:37,794 and I've come across an old primary school building in Croydon. 170 00:09:37,795 --> 00:09:41,795 - Kate. - Are you too busy? Shall I come back later? - No. I think we should talk now. 171 00:09:45,595 --> 00:09:49,595 Oh, wow. 172 00:09:51,955 --> 00:09:55,955 My God! 173 00:10:05,595 --> 00:10:09,595 She wants to try some. Then we're going to talk. 174 00:10:11,275 --> 00:10:14,474 Oh! 175 00:10:14,475 --> 00:10:18,475 Good luck! 176 00:10:24,795 --> 00:10:27,394 Mmm. 177 00:10:27,395 --> 00:10:29,714 Did you put alcohol in this? 178 00:10:29,715 --> 00:10:32,914 Did you love your father? 179 00:10:32,915 --> 00:10:35,434 My family were never close. 180 00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:37,194 Ooooh! He's very good. 181 00:10:37,195 --> 00:10:41,404 - Hey, listen, don't underestimate the importance of having a strong male role model in your life - OK. 182 00:10:42,315 --> 00:10:46,315 Do you know any inspirational older men you could lean on? 183 00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:56,554 Please, Kate, talk to me. 184 00:10:56,555 --> 00:11:00,555 I... don't want to live together like this... any more. 185 00:11:03,355 --> 00:11:06,394 Fuck, Kate. 186 00:11:06,395 --> 00:11:09,274 I don't want to be a guardian any more. 187 00:11:09,275 --> 00:11:10,594 I want a flat. 188 00:11:10,595 --> 00:11:14,595 With fresh fruit and normal windows and... 189 00:11:16,195 --> 00:11:17,834 ...no Lulu. 190 00:11:17,835 --> 00:11:19,154 Lulu? What? 191 00:11:19,155 --> 00:11:22,154 She wears quirky clothes and she is in love with you 192 00:11:22,155 --> 00:11:25,594 and it's exhausting. 193 00:11:27,995 --> 00:11:29,674 She's not... in love with me. 194 00:11:29,675 --> 00:11:32,154 - Kate, last night, you said... - I didn't say anything, OK. 195 00:11:32,155 --> 00:11:34,874 I'm just never going to drink and paint ever again. 196 00:11:34,875 --> 00:11:36,634 Can I start looking for flats? 197 00:11:36,635 --> 00:11:39,514 Yes. 198 00:11:39,515 --> 00:11:40,954 Where will Lulu go? 199 00:11:40,955 --> 00:11:42,874 I don't care about Lulu. 200 00:11:44,835 --> 00:11:48,674 Good. 201 00:11:48,675 --> 00:11:50,714 He sounds like a nightmare! 202 00:11:50,715 --> 00:11:53,794 He's just always here being relentlessly cheery. 203 00:11:53,795 --> 00:11:55,794 And he's stolen my friend. 204 00:11:55,795 --> 00:11:58,554 Oh, God, I sound like a child! 205 00:11:58,555 --> 00:12:01,794 'No, you don't, Stephen. You really don't. 206 00:12:01,795 --> 00:12:03,314 'But, hey, ' 207 00:12:03,315 --> 00:12:05,114 I'm going ask you something now. 208 00:12:05,115 --> 00:12:06,914 'Are you ready?' 209 00:12:06,915 --> 00:12:07,994 Yes. 210 00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:11,995 Are you honest with everyone about how you feel about them? 211 00:12:13,235 --> 00:12:14,834 No. 212 00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:18,434 'Anyone in particular?' 213 00:12:18,435 --> 00:12:19,594 Yes. 214 00:12:19,595 --> 00:12:23,595 Well, I think it's time you told them how you feel, Stevo. 215 00:12:26,995 --> 00:12:30,995 He's a knob. 216 00:12:32,195 --> 00:12:35,594 So, voila, Colin, I quit my job today. Let's go. 217 00:12:35,595 --> 00:12:37,674 We can stay with my friend Louis in Poland. 218 00:12:37,675 --> 00:12:41,675 He is an erotic magician. He would love you. 219 00:12:42,435 --> 00:12:46,435 Are you having a stroke? 220 00:12:46,875 --> 00:12:50,034 Who is this? 221 00:12:50,035 --> 00:12:54,035 I'm beginning to feel like I'm one of a long line of Colins. 222 00:12:55,915 --> 00:12:57,634 Am I? 223 00:12:57,635 --> 00:12:59,714 So what if you are? 224 00:12:59,715 --> 00:13:01,394 How many of us are there? 225 00:13:01,395 --> 00:13:04,674 - It doesn't matter. - It does. 226 00:13:04,675 --> 00:13:08,354 You can't deny the resemblance is unnerving. 227 00:13:08,355 --> 00:13:09,834 What is this? Huh? 228 00:13:09,835 --> 00:13:12,874 You stand in my room, you lie in my bed, 229 00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:16,875 you dance like a naked angel in my dreams but you won't let me in. 230 00:13:17,315 --> 00:13:18,754 I shouldn't have brought it up. 231 00:13:18,755 --> 00:13:22,755 Ah! You don't like it? Huh? C'est ca? 232 00:13:24,675 --> 00:13:28,675 Do you know how hard it is for me to sleep next to you and not touch your body? 233 00:13:29,035 --> 00:13:33,035 Not hold you? Not kiss you. Not poke your little cheeks? 234 00:13:37,715 --> 00:13:40,554 D'accord. Go. 235 00:13:40,555 --> 00:13:44,034 Go back to your wife, her lover, your misery. 236 00:13:44,035 --> 00:13:48,035 - I'm not going to live this torture any more. You GO. - No! 237 00:13:50,555 --> 00:13:54,555 Tonight. 6.30. I will prepare and I will come to you. 238 00:13:57,795 --> 00:14:01,795 D'accord. 239 00:14:08,435 --> 00:14:10,314 Hey, get an erection and bring it to my room. 240 00:14:10,315 --> 00:14:13,514 No, honey, it doesn't work like that. He's sleeping. 241 00:14:13,515 --> 00:14:14,674 You already have a semi. 242 00:14:14,675 --> 00:14:17,914 Damn. SHIT. No. No. NO. Cos if Anthony finds out about this... 243 00:14:17,915 --> 00:14:21,634 Lu! There you are... Find out about what? 244 00:14:21,635 --> 00:14:23,714 Find out... that... 245 00:14:23,715 --> 00:14:24,994 Sam's got... 246 00:14:24,995 --> 00:14:27,434 - What? - A semi. - OK. 247 00:14:27,435 --> 00:14:28,834 No! Find out Kate's... 248 00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:31,634 - What? - Pregnant. 249 00:14:31,635 --> 00:14:33,834 What? 250 00:14:33,835 --> 00:14:37,835 - Yeah. Really... - REALLY pregnant. 251 00:14:38,595 --> 00:14:42,595 She told me not to tell you. 252 00:15:05,035 --> 00:15:09,035 - Uh, Kate, quick word. - Bubbles? - What is the occasion? - Oh, I'd rather wait until Anthony gets back. 253 00:15:09,195 --> 00:15:13,114 - OK, I need to... - There's an old people's home in zone three. I have requested a viewing for you. 254 00:15:13,115 --> 00:15:16,434 - But I've done a bad... - Not now, Sam. - Um. Sam, can we talk for a second? 255 00:15:16,435 --> 00:15:19,114 - Hi, team. - Hey, how was Samaritans? 256 00:15:19,115 --> 00:15:21,874 Really interesting day, actually. 257 00:15:21,875 --> 00:15:23,194 Get many callers? 258 00:15:23,195 --> 00:15:25,314 Uh, a little girl who's getting bullied, 259 00:15:25,315 --> 00:15:27,874 a hyperactive dinner lady, and a... 260 00:15:27,875 --> 00:15:29,874 frustrated homosexual. Tragic, actually. 261 00:15:29,875 --> 00:15:33,834 Really simple guy just desperate to be much more complicated than he actually is. 262 00:15:33,835 --> 00:15:36,034 He's got a big hard-on for his best friend 263 00:15:36,035 --> 00:15:38,794 and is jealous of the new boyfriend... ya-dee-ya-dee-yada. 264 00:15:38,795 --> 00:15:42,795 Anyway, I think we really got somewhere with him. 265 00:15:43,715 --> 00:15:47,715 I am going to go hit the el bano and then I want your final answer, OK? 266 00:15:50,955 --> 00:15:53,914 - Deal. Don't be long. - OK. 267 00:15:53,915 --> 00:15:56,274 - Are you going to move in with him? - I think so, yeah. 268 00:15:56,275 --> 00:15:58,274 Me and Anthony, too. 269 00:15:58,275 --> 00:16:00,434 - Yay! - Yay! 270 00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:06,394 Yay! 271 00:16:06,395 --> 00:16:09,914 Jesus, there you are! Listen. Kate isn't... 272 00:16:09,915 --> 00:16:11,354 - Is she back? - Yes, but she's not... 273 00:16:11,355 --> 00:16:13,554 I KNEW something freaky was going on. I KNEW it. 274 00:16:13,555 --> 00:16:16,274 I am more intuitive that I give myself credit for. 275 00:16:16,275 --> 00:16:17,714 No, no, you're really not. 276 00:16:17,715 --> 00:16:21,715 I'm fine. I'm going to deal with this really well. 277 00:16:21,955 --> 00:16:24,114 Really, really well. 278 00:16:24,115 --> 00:16:27,274 No, you're not! She's not even... oh, dear! 279 00:16:27,275 --> 00:16:31,074 ? I was sailing down the River Jordan. ? 280 00:16:33,955 --> 00:16:36,834 G'day? 281 00:16:39,795 --> 00:16:41,754 G'day? 282 00:16:41,755 --> 00:16:45,154 Why do you think I'm gay? 283 00:16:45,155 --> 00:16:48,634 You think you're so clever. 284 00:16:48,635 --> 00:16:52,034 I'm here to help you. 285 00:16:52,035 --> 00:16:53,394 I want to help. 286 00:16:53,395 --> 00:16:57,395 Answer my question or I'm coming in. 287 00:17:05,635 --> 00:17:08,634 I think you're gay because you obsess about the men in your life. 288 00:17:08,635 --> 00:17:12,635 What, just because I care about my friends, it makes me a bender? 289 00:17:12,835 --> 00:17:16,154 You need to update your counsel, brother. Give me a better reason. 290 00:17:18,835 --> 00:17:21,954 Because you're obsessed with me. You think about me. 291 00:17:21,955 --> 00:17:23,394 You flash your body at me. 292 00:17:23,395 --> 00:17:26,114 You bitch about me and then to top it off, 293 00:17:26,115 --> 00:17:28,434 you put on a stupid voice and you call my work 294 00:17:28,435 --> 00:17:32,234 and waste the time of a poor little dinner lady who really needed help. 295 00:17:32,235 --> 00:17:34,474 Maybe I need help. 296 00:17:34,475 --> 00:17:37,034 - You need a boyfriend. - Do you think? 297 00:17:37,035 --> 00:17:40,314 Yeah, I do. I really do. 298 00:17:40,315 --> 00:17:42,874 - I think you need to have sex with a man. - Fuck you. 299 00:17:44,675 --> 00:17:48,034 Hey, um... I get it. 300 00:17:48,035 --> 00:17:51,354 I'm up-beat and Australian and a lot of fun. 301 00:17:51,355 --> 00:17:54,514 But I'm in love with your boy Fred. I'm fucking crazy about him. 302 00:17:54,515 --> 00:17:57,674 And either you need to back off, or you need to share him 303 00:17:57,675 --> 00:18:01,675 because I'm not going anywhere and you and I will just end up fighting 304 00:18:01,755 --> 00:18:05,755 till the sun takes his little hat off. 305 00:18:06,875 --> 00:18:10,875 It'll be so much better for both of us if you and I just get on. 306 00:18:38,115 --> 00:18:40,314 I told you he wasn't to be trusted! I told you... 307 00:18:40,315 --> 00:18:42,994 Pack your little bag and don't listen to a word he says! 308 00:18:42,995 --> 00:18:47,079 - Don't interrupt me! You have not got a dick to stand on! - Guys, guys! - Please don't let him speak. 309 00:18:47,275 --> 00:18:49,194 Will someone tell me what happened? 310 00:18:49,195 --> 00:18:51,474 We were in the shower room - do not interrupt me! 311 00:18:51,475 --> 00:18:54,154 And I was asking this douche about his day. Nice guy. 312 00:18:54,155 --> 00:18:57,194 Then he just opened my shower door, leaned in all monkey chest 313 00:18:57,195 --> 00:18:59,994 and then 314 00:18:59,995 --> 00:19:03,514 Fred. Sam pranked me today at work. He called me... 315 00:19:03,515 --> 00:19:06,394 - Did you kiss him with your mouth? - No. - LIAR! 316 00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:10,395 - Sam, I don't know what you're trying to do here. - Did you kiss at all? 317 00:19:10,955 --> 00:19:13,794 Will? 318 00:19:13,795 --> 00:19:16,114 He kissed me. 319 00:19:16,115 --> 00:19:19,034 - Oh, boy! - Fred. I don't know why... 320 00:19:19,035 --> 00:19:21,314 OK. I think um... 321 00:19:21,315 --> 00:19:23,954 - Kate. - Not now, Anthony. There is serious shit going down here 322 00:19:23,955 --> 00:19:26,514 and I'm just delighted it's not about us. - You're pregnant! 323 00:19:26,515 --> 00:19:28,354 - Oh, Jesus. - What?! 324 00:19:28,355 --> 00:19:29,554 Why didn't you tell me? 325 00:19:29,555 --> 00:19:31,354 Because I am not pregnant. 326 00:19:31,355 --> 00:19:32,714 Yeah, guys... 327 00:19:32,715 --> 00:19:34,034 Not pregnant? Really? 328 00:19:34,035 --> 00:19:35,834 No! I hope not! 329 00:19:35,835 --> 00:19:39,594 Oh, thank God! Thank God! 330 00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:42,154 Thank God! All right! Don't have a party about it. 331 00:19:42,155 --> 00:19:46,074 Sorry. Thank God. I just... Sam, what the hell? 332 00:19:46,075 --> 00:19:50,117 OK, anyone else got anything they would like to announce to the room before I start self-harming? 333 00:19:52,075 --> 00:19:54,914 OK, in that case. Will, I think we... 334 00:19:54,915 --> 00:19:57,434 Sam's fucking Lulu! 335 00:19:57,435 --> 00:19:59,274 What? 336 00:19:59,275 --> 00:20:02,994 Mate, I am so sorry. She was really pushy. 337 00:20:02,995 --> 00:20:06,114 - Grey area mate, serious. - What the fuck? You promised! 338 00:20:06,115 --> 00:20:08,474 - Promised what? - You can't stop two sexy people... 339 00:20:08,475 --> 00:20:11,994 Yeah, no, I know. I know. 340 00:20:11,995 --> 00:20:15,594 Fuck's sake, man! 341 00:20:15,595 --> 00:20:17,594 - I just... - What? 342 00:20:17,595 --> 00:20:21,595 What, you just wanted them all for yourself? 343 00:20:23,475 --> 00:20:24,874 Red zone! 344 00:20:24,875 --> 00:20:27,314 Ow! What the fuck do you care? 345 00:20:27,315 --> 00:20:29,754 - She's not your girlfriend. - I told you not to do that. 346 00:20:29,755 --> 00:20:32,754 I'm sorry I broke your rules! 347 00:20:32,755 --> 00:20:36,755 Seems like you deal in other people's property in life as well as work, Sam. 348 00:20:38,515 --> 00:20:40,274 Are you punning? 349 00:20:40,275 --> 00:20:41,914 I'm just saying - argh! 350 00:20:41,915 --> 00:20:45,034 Ow! 351 00:20:45,035 --> 00:20:47,034 Stop fucking everyone, you PRICK. 352 00:20:47,035 --> 00:20:48,994 Argh! 353 00:20:48,995 --> 00:20:52,354 I don't know who to hit! 354 00:20:52,355 --> 00:20:54,554 You can't help yourself, can you? 355 00:20:54,555 --> 00:20:58,314 Life is a buffet, Anthony. I taught you that! 356 00:20:58,315 --> 00:21:00,274 I think I'm done here. 357 00:21:00,275 --> 00:21:01,754 Just admit you're GAY, mate! 358 00:21:01,755 --> 00:21:04,554 Just admit you're a DICK! Hospital vote. 359 00:21:04,555 --> 00:21:08,555 Will should get the fuck out for kissing me! 360 00:21:09,595 --> 00:21:12,674 Ha! You see that! 361 00:21:12,675 --> 00:21:16,314 Everybody loves me. Everyone wants me round. 362 00:21:16,315 --> 00:21:20,234 I am fantastic. I always win. Always. 363 00:21:20,235 --> 00:21:23,474 I see what I want and I go and I bloody well get it. 364 00:21:23,475 --> 00:21:26,434 And I want little Fred to be my wife 365 00:21:26,435 --> 00:21:29,834 and if that means spending time in this skanky hospital 366 00:21:29,835 --> 00:21:33,835 surrounded by a bunch of insane and unattractive urban gyppos, 367 00:21:35,235 --> 00:21:39,235 so be it, but I will be disinfecting myself the minute 368 00:21:39,275 --> 00:21:43,275 I walk out of here because you all disgust me. 369 00:21:43,875 --> 00:21:47,875 Come, little Fred. 370 00:22:01,835 --> 00:22:05,835 I think you need to leave the skanky hospital, Will. 371 00:22:07,955 --> 00:22:11,955 You will never meet anyone like me ever again. 372 00:22:14,035 --> 00:22:18,035 I'm fantastic. 373 00:22:24,835 --> 00:22:28,835 See, I told you he couldn't be trusted, mate. 374 00:22:32,195 --> 00:22:36,195 Yeah, you nailed it. 375 00:22:39,195 --> 00:22:43,195 - Mate, I need to find... - I need to find Kate. 376 00:23:09,035 --> 00:23:10,314 Ready? 377 00:23:10,315 --> 00:23:14,315 Oui. 378 00:23:21,995 --> 00:23:24,234 Just tell me one thing. 379 00:23:24,235 --> 00:23:26,714 Anything. 380 00:23:26,715 --> 00:23:28,994 Who's the man in the picture? 381 00:23:28,995 --> 00:23:32,995 Oh! It's my father. 28451

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