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1
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:32,560
Good evening, fellow revelers.
2
00:00:32,590 --> 00:00:37,030
Tonight we are indulging
in an old city tradition.
3
00:00:37,070 --> 00:00:42,140
It is the event that turns
a mild-mannered
white-collar worker
4
00:00:42,170 --> 00:00:45,040
into a four
armed beast of prey.
5
00:00:45,070 --> 00:00:47,910
The office party.
6
00:00:47,940 --> 00:00:51,980
However, we had this room
designed
especially for the party
7
00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:53,980
by the girls in the office.
8
00:00:54,020 --> 00:00:56,720
It has no corners.
9
00:00:56,750 --> 00:01:01,390
I am in charge of
the entertainment,
which all should enjoy.
10
00:01:01,420 --> 00:01:04,560
After most of
the hors d'oeuvres
have been eaten,
11
00:01:04,590 --> 00:01:07,560
we're going to throw
our company
director to the lions.
12
00:01:08,460 --> 00:01:09,960
I realize it isn't much
13
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,200
but the lions are
a great deal cheaper
14
00:01:12,230 --> 00:01:15,070
than the string
quartet we had last year.
15
00:01:15,070 --> 00:01:17,070
They don't drink
as much either.
16
00:01:17,070 --> 00:01:19,670
And now for our party.
17
00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:39,790
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
18
00:01:50,170 --> 00:01:53,310
May I please speak
to Tony Gould...
19
00:01:53,340 --> 00:01:58,580
No, no, Gould, G-O-U-L-D.
20
00:01:58,610 --> 00:01:59,810
I can't hear you.
21
00:01:59,850 --> 00:02:01,120
What?
22
00:02:01,150 --> 00:02:03,520
Do you know where
he can be reached?
23
00:02:05,150 --> 00:02:08,490
Would you have him call
the Courtney
Publishing Company
24
00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:10,730
Merry Christmas,
whoever you are.
25
00:02:12,630 --> 00:02:15,930
Hello! Hello.
26
00:02:17,670 --> 00:02:19,070
Merry Christmas.
27
00:02:33,150 --> 00:02:36,250
Well, it only happens
once a year.
28
00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:38,950
Mr. Courtney,
there's so much
noise in there.
29
00:02:38,990 --> 00:02:40,590
Do you think
I could use your phone?
30
00:02:40,620 --> 00:02:42,760
Certainly,
go right ahead, Shelley.
31
00:02:56,670 --> 00:02:59,110
COURTNEY: Anything wrong,
my dear?
32
00:02:59,110 --> 00:03:02,840
Oh, I was just rehearsing
what I was going to say
to my boyfriend.
33
00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:06,110
Yes, of course. Well,
it's time I was getting home.
34
00:03:06,150 --> 00:03:08,180
I hope you have
a very nice Christmas,
Shelley.
35
00:03:08,220 --> 00:03:09,550
SHELLEY:
Thank you, same to you,
Mr. Courtney.
36
00:03:09,580 --> 00:03:10,890
Goodnight.
37
00:03:25,670 --> 00:03:28,440
Hello, Charlie? Shelley.
38
00:03:28,470 --> 00:03:29,740
Listen,
I can't get ahold of Tony.
39
00:03:29,770 --> 00:03:31,170
I thought he
might be with you.
40
00:03:31,210 --> 00:03:33,070
Tony?
41
00:03:33,070 --> 00:03:36,610
You mean good old,
fun-loving Tony Gould?
42
00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:37,780
(WHISPERING) Shelley.
43
00:03:40,780 --> 00:03:42,950
Why yes, I believe he is.
44
00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:50,090
Hello, darling.
I've been trying to get your
apartment for the past hour.
45
00:03:50,090 --> 00:03:52,290
I thought the office party
would be over long ago.
46
00:03:52,330 --> 00:03:54,530
Tony,
you know why I'm calling.
47
00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:56,830
Have you told your wife?
48
00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:59,330
Because if you haven't,
I'm going to
talk to her myself.
49
00:03:59,370 --> 00:04:01,600
You mustn't do that,
it won't be necessary.
50
00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:03,300
I've already told her.
51
00:04:03,340 --> 00:04:05,210
I promised you I would,
didn't I?
52
00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:08,510
Yes, but you made this promise
so many times before.
53
00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:09,940
How did she take it?
54
00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:11,850
Well, naturally she
was a little upset.
55
00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:14,350
She wasn't aware
of the situation.
56
00:04:14,380 --> 00:04:16,650
But she didn't get hysterical.
57
00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:18,590
That's encouraging.
58
00:04:18,620 --> 00:04:21,360
But she didn't really agree.
That's what it amounts to,
doesn't it?
59
00:04:21,390 --> 00:04:25,360
Now, listen here,Tony,
if you don't tell her,
I'm not going to wait any longer
60
00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:26,900
I'm going to talk
to her right now.
61
00:04:26,930 --> 00:04:28,660
If you'll just let me finish.
62
00:04:28,700 --> 00:04:30,800
She did agree.
63
00:04:30,830 --> 00:04:33,800
I made her understand
it had to be this way.
64
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:35,940
Darling, it's all set.
65
00:04:37,410 --> 00:04:39,510
Tony, that's wonderful.
66
00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:44,150
The party's just about
to break up, darling,
so I'll be right over.
67
00:04:44,180 --> 00:04:47,180
Oh, no, not here.
Charles is having a lot
of people in for drinks.
68
00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:51,290
Tell you what.
Wait at the office and I'll
come over and pick you up.
69
00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:52,890
All right,
Tony, but please hurry.
70
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:54,720
Goodbye.
71
00:04:56,490 --> 00:04:58,890
Well,
now what am I going to do?
72
00:04:58,930 --> 00:05:01,500
I suspect the time has come
for a clean break.
73
00:05:01,530 --> 00:05:03,870
That's the trouble,
it won't be clean.
74
00:05:03,900 --> 00:05:08,300
Shelley's got an idea
I should divorce Gloria
and marry her.
75
00:05:08,340 --> 00:05:10,740
You know,
the one unredeeming
quality in women
76
00:05:10,770 --> 00:05:15,140
is their inability
to keep their emotions
out of their love affairs.
77
00:05:15,180 --> 00:05:18,650
I assume you have
no intention of doing
anything so impractical.
78
00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:21,280
You know Gloria.
Any trouble, I'm out.
79
00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:23,520
She just
wouldn't stand for it.
80
00:05:23,550 --> 00:05:27,120
Then you have no alternative
but to give up
this dreary little business
81
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,860
with Shelley and go back
to your loving wife
82
00:05:28,890 --> 00:05:30,890
and her half million bucks.
83
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:35,400
I wish you'd tell me how.
84
00:05:35,430 --> 00:05:39,370
It's all I could do tonight
to keep Shelley from going
out to the house.
85
00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:43,370
Have you ever
considered having
her shanghaied aboard a ship
86
00:05:43,410 --> 00:05:45,110
That used to take two years.
87
00:05:45,140 --> 00:05:48,510
Thanks. Call on me some times
when you need help.
88
00:05:48,540 --> 00:05:50,550
Sorry, Tony.
89
00:05:50,580 --> 00:05:52,510
But you seem to be caught
in a classic dilemma
90
00:05:52,550 --> 00:05:55,480
for which no remedy
has yet been discovered.
91
00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:59,150
If you do find an answer,
your name will go down
in history along with Galileo,
92
00:05:59,190 --> 00:06:00,690
Edison and O'Shaughnessy.
93
00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:02,060
Who?
94
00:06:02,090 --> 00:06:04,760
O'Shaughnessy?
He was a bartender
on Third Avenue
95
00:06:04,790 --> 00:06:06,660
whose immortal words were,
96
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,560
"When everything
appears lost..."
97
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:12,270
BOTH: "Let's have a drink."
98
00:06:12,300 --> 00:06:16,910
Seriously, Tony, if there's
anything I can do short
of marrying Shelley myself,
99
00:06:16,940 --> 00:06:18,440
just let me know.
100
00:06:18,470 --> 00:06:19,670
Sure.
101
00:06:32,250 --> 00:06:33,520
Shelley?
102
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,760
SHELLEY: In here, darling.
103
00:06:38,230 --> 00:06:41,100
Oh, is it true?
104
00:06:41,130 --> 00:06:43,830
You mean we don't
have to hide and pretend.
Oh, yes.
105
00:06:43,870 --> 00:06:44,830
(DOOR CLOSING)
106
00:06:46,430 --> 00:06:47,800
Who's that?
107
00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:49,870
Oh,
probably the cleaning woman.
108
00:06:57,810 --> 00:06:58,910
Lock it.
109
00:06:58,950 --> 00:07:00,880
But, darling,
we don't have to hide.
110
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,590
Of course we don't.
We don't want
her leering at us.
111
00:07:03,620 --> 00:07:05,820
You know what she'll think.
Lock it.
112
00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:16,630
There.
113
00:07:16,670 --> 00:07:18,470
Now, what's the schedule?
114
00:07:18,500 --> 00:07:19,830
Are you going to get
the divorce or is she?
115
00:07:19,870 --> 00:07:21,340
She is.
116
00:07:21,370 --> 00:07:24,110
How long will it take?
'Cause I won't believe it
until we're married.
117
00:07:24,140 --> 00:07:27,640
Well, these things
do take a little time,
you know.
118
00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:29,740
Well, of course, darling,
it really doesn't matter
119
00:07:29,780 --> 00:07:32,050
because the worst is over.
120
00:07:32,050 --> 00:07:35,580
Now, let's leave New York,
right away.
121
00:07:35,620 --> 00:07:38,520
Don't you think it would be
a good idea to wait
until we're absolutely sure.
122
00:07:38,550 --> 00:07:40,820
Gloria is going
through with it?
123
00:07:40,860 --> 00:07:43,320
What do you mean, darling?
I thought it was all settled.
124
00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:45,390
Well, it is.
I mean, she's agreed to it
125
00:07:45,430 --> 00:07:49,360
but she's the kind of woman
who could change
her mind overnight.
126
00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:51,330
In hopes of getting you back?
127
00:07:51,370 --> 00:07:53,640
She thinks that by making us
wait she's going
to break us up?
128
00:07:53,670 --> 00:07:55,800
No, no, no, of course not.
129
00:07:57,970 --> 00:08:00,340
It was a shock to her.
130
00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:02,440
She's always had
everything she wanted.
131
00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:05,010
You just don't
say no to Gloria.
132
00:08:05,010 --> 00:08:06,650
She's apt to get
on her high horse
133
00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:08,820
and not grant me
the divorce at all.
134
00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:12,190
What are you suggesting, Tony?
135
00:08:12,220 --> 00:08:14,820
Well, I really think
it would be a mistake
for us to leave now.
136
00:08:14,860 --> 00:08:16,560
She would consider it
a slap in the face.
137
00:08:16,590 --> 00:08:18,890
I know Gloria,
you have to humor her.
138
00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:23,230
Now, if I could stay
around awhile,
139
00:08:23,260 --> 00:08:26,430
I could convince her
that it was her idea,
her own idea.
140
00:08:26,470 --> 00:08:28,800
She would
divorce me like that.
141
00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:31,270
How long will it take?
142
00:08:31,310 --> 00:08:35,340
I don't know, a few weeks,
a couple of months.
143
00:08:35,380 --> 00:08:38,550
It's the only way,
darling, believe me.
144
00:08:38,580 --> 00:08:40,450
I don't believe you, Tony.
145
00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:42,050
You're always concerned
about Gloria's feelings,
146
00:08:42,050 --> 00:08:44,050
you're never concerned
about mine.
147
00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:46,250
She had a chance
to make you happy
and she didn't.
148
00:08:46,290 --> 00:08:47,720
But I did, didn't I?
149
00:08:48,620 --> 00:08:50,830
Of course, darling.
150
00:08:56,300 --> 00:08:59,830
Now, let's get out of here
and have a drink.
It's Christmas.
151
00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:05,610
I have to make
a phone call first.
152
00:09:19,550 --> 00:09:22,120
MRS. GOULD: Hello.
Hello. Mrs. Gould?
153
00:09:23,390 --> 00:09:26,190
This is...
Hello?
154
00:09:26,230 --> 00:09:28,600
What do you think
you're doing?
I'm going to call her
155
00:09:28,630 --> 00:09:31,870
and tell her we're in love
and you're not
going to stop me!
156
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:45,150
MRS. GOULD: Hello? Hello?
157
00:09:53,420 --> 00:09:56,620
Hello? Hello?
158
00:09:57,790 --> 00:09:59,890
What number are you calling?
159
00:13:44,950 --> 00:13:46,890
(RINGING)
160
00:13:50,390 --> 00:13:52,360
Advance and be recognized.
161
00:13:52,390 --> 00:13:54,200
TONY: Charles.
162
00:13:54,230 --> 00:13:55,900
Tony, old comrade.
163
00:13:55,930 --> 00:14:00,040
The wassail bowl overflows
and where are you
on this festive occasion?
164
00:14:00,070 --> 00:14:02,040
Now, shut up
and listen to me!
I'm in a jam.
165
00:14:02,070 --> 00:14:03,470
In a jam? With Shelley?
166
00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:04,940
Yes, with Shelley.
167
00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:06,140
What happened?
168
00:14:06,170 --> 00:14:08,140
She passed out on me.
169
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:11,310
We're in her office building.
You know where that is,
don't you?
170
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:14,250
Well,
we're locked in the office.
171
00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:16,250
CHARLIE: Locked in?
172
00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:20,090
Yes, I broke the key off
in the lock and
I've got to get out.
173
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:22,420
Well, call the janitor!
174
00:14:22,460 --> 00:14:24,360
He's not here.
175
00:14:24,390 --> 00:14:26,590
The building will be empty
till the day after Christmas.
176
00:14:26,630 --> 00:14:29,900
(SIGHING) Worry not, my boy.
177
00:14:29,930 --> 00:14:31,700
As soon as I get rid
of my company here,
178
00:14:31,730 --> 00:14:33,900
old Charles will
storm the fortress.
179
00:14:33,940 --> 00:14:35,200
How long will it be
before you can get here?
180
00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:36,300
Well, I don't know.
181
00:14:36,340 --> 00:14:37,910
Well, get rid of them.
182
00:14:37,940 --> 00:14:40,880
Well, Tony, I can't just
throw them out into the snow.
183
00:14:40,910 --> 00:14:42,810
Charles, this is serious.
184
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:45,850
Yes, mon général,
within the hour.
185
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:50,080
(PHONE RINGING)
186
00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:02,760
Hello?
187
00:16:02,790 --> 00:16:06,930
What ho!
God rest you merry gentlemen.
188
00:16:07,030 --> 00:16:08,430
TONY: Charles?
189
00:16:08,460 --> 00:16:11,230
Where does the comma
come in there?
190
00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:14,900
Is it, "God rest you merry"
or "Merry gentlemen"?
I can never remember.
191
00:16:14,940 --> 00:16:17,040
Don't tell me
you haven't left yet?
192
00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:21,080
I will ask you
not to raise your voice
to me, my good man.
193
00:16:21,110 --> 00:16:25,550
There are people here.
Drunk people. I'm drunk.
194
00:16:25,580 --> 00:16:27,080
(LAUGHING)
195
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:30,050
Charles, don't you realize
that I'm in trouble,
serious trouble?
196
00:16:30,050 --> 00:16:31,490
I've got to get out
of here. Tonight.
197
00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:35,520
I have no patience
with you, Tony.
198
00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:37,790
Here you are,
a man richly endowed.
199
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:41,060
You have a rich wife,
a beautiful girlfriend
200
00:16:41,060 --> 00:16:43,670
and how do you
spend Christmas Eve?
201
00:16:43,700 --> 00:16:46,530
Like a hermit
locked up in an office.
202
00:16:46,570 --> 00:16:47,640
And it's not
even your office.
203
00:16:47,670 --> 00:16:49,540
(DOORBELL RINGING)
204
00:16:49,570 --> 00:16:51,970
Wait a minute,
there's somebody at the door.
Hold the phone.
205
00:16:52,070 --> 00:16:53,070
Charles!
206
00:16:54,140 --> 00:16:56,640
Don't go away.
207
00:16:56,680 --> 00:17:00,780
It's God rest you merry...
Merry? Merry gentlemen.
208
00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:03,690
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
209
00:17:04,820 --> 00:17:06,250
We're having
open house, Charles.
210
00:17:06,290 --> 00:17:07,720
Come over for a drink.
211
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:10,760
Santa Claus, all righty.
212
00:17:10,790 --> 00:17:13,600
You have the true
Christmas spirit,
my dear.
213
00:17:13,630 --> 00:17:16,630
Come on, come on.
Let's go have a drink.
Let's have a drink. Come on.
214
00:17:18,470 --> 00:17:20,870
Charles! Hang up
the phone, Charles.
We're still connected.
215
00:17:20,900 --> 00:17:23,410
I want to call somebody else.
216
00:17:24,270 --> 00:17:26,440
Break the connection, Charles!
217
00:18:22,430 --> 00:18:24,300
Good morning!
218
00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:28,500
Merry Christmas!
219
00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:33,910
Hey, wait! I didn't mean...
220
00:18:33,940 --> 00:18:36,210
I can explain!
221
00:18:47,890 --> 00:18:49,860
I'm locked in here!
222
00:18:51,530 --> 00:18:54,200
Will you please
call a locksmith?
223
00:18:54,230 --> 00:18:56,800
I'll pay him anything he asks!
224
00:18:56,830 --> 00:18:58,930
This is an emergency!
225
00:19:06,510 --> 00:19:09,910
Thank you!
Thank you very much!
226
00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:42,610
(SIREN WAILING)
227
00:21:34,990 --> 00:21:37,090
(BANGING ON DOOR)
228
00:21:46,100 --> 00:21:48,140
All right, open up.
We know you're in there.
229
00:21:48,170 --> 00:21:50,570
That's just the trouble,
officers.
230
00:21:50,610 --> 00:21:52,910
I can't open up.
231
00:21:52,940 --> 00:21:56,480
I'm John Courtney,
and I'm locked in
my own office.
232
00:21:56,510 --> 00:21:58,280
Well, how'd you come
to lock yourself in?
233
00:21:58,310 --> 00:22:00,520
I was working last night
and I jammed the key
in the lock
234
00:22:00,550 --> 00:22:02,620
and then I turned it
and broke it off.
235
00:22:02,650 --> 00:22:06,050
You can find it down there
under the lock, I think,
on the floor.
236
00:22:06,090 --> 00:22:07,490
Yeah, here it is, Mr.
Courtney,
237
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:09,290
but I don't think
we can make it work.
238
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:11,060
Well, try it, won't you?
239
00:22:11,060 --> 00:22:12,430
Try the key, George.
240
00:22:12,460 --> 00:22:14,430
Oh, this won't work.
Too short.
241
00:22:14,460 --> 00:22:16,060
I'll use my key.
242
00:22:17,670 --> 00:22:19,230
Any luck?
243
00:22:19,270 --> 00:22:21,070
No, you must've jammed
the lock, Mr. Courtney.
244
00:22:21,100 --> 00:22:22,800
Can't you break it?
245
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:24,710
Probably could
but it would wreck the door.
246
00:22:24,740 --> 00:22:28,980
I don't care about the door.
I'm freezing to
death and I haven't
247
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:30,550
Okay, stand back.
I want to get out of here.
248
00:22:36,690 --> 00:22:39,420
Thank you,
thank you, gentlemen.
I certainly do feel foolish.
249
00:22:39,450 --> 00:22:42,090
Well, these things happen
more often than you'd think,
Mr. Courtney.
250
00:22:42,090 --> 00:22:44,290
I was beginning to think
that I was gonna be
locked in there
251
00:22:44,330 --> 00:22:46,130
until my secretary
let me out in the morning.
252
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:48,260
Well, your secretary
must have the key,
why didn't you phone her?
253
00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:49,600
The phone is out of order.
254
00:22:49,630 --> 00:22:51,230
Well, you're gonna
catch it from you wife
255
00:22:51,270 --> 00:22:52,570
being out all night
Christmas Eve.
256
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:53,940
No, no, she's in Europe.
257
00:22:53,970 --> 00:22:56,200
I want to give you gentlemen
a little Christmas present...
258
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:57,770
No, it's all part of our job.
Come on, Frank.
259
00:22:57,810 --> 00:23:00,340
Can we drop you anyplace?
No, thank you.
I'll take a taxi.
260
00:23:00,380 --> 00:23:03,580
What ho! Better late
than never and all
that stuff.
261
00:23:03,610 --> 00:23:05,710
I can see
you gentlemen have
the situation well in hand.
262
00:23:05,750 --> 00:23:06,920
Come on.
So have you.
263
00:23:06,950 --> 00:23:08,520
All's well that ends well.
264
00:23:08,550 --> 00:23:10,190
Charles!
Where's Shelley?
265
00:23:10,220 --> 00:23:11,650
Shut up,
you're drunk, Charles!
Shelley!
266
00:23:11,690 --> 00:23:12,920
Shelley!
Come on.
267
00:23:12,950 --> 00:23:14,160
I'll get him.
Come on out.
268
00:23:14,190 --> 00:23:16,160
There's nobody in there!
Come on out, wherever you are.
269
00:23:16,190 --> 00:23:17,790
Charles,
there's nobody in there.
270
00:23:17,830 --> 00:23:19,360
(DOOR OPENING)
271
00:23:19,390 --> 00:23:22,330
Hey, Tony,
she's really passed out.
272
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:25,930
FRANK: Passed out?
273
00:23:25,970 --> 00:23:28,370
This woman's not drunk.
She's dead.
274
00:23:40,180 --> 00:23:42,580
If you think Tony
Gould is in trouble,
275
00:23:42,620 --> 00:23:45,350
you should have
been at our party.
276
00:23:45,390 --> 00:23:48,120
My fastidious friend here
277
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:51,430
refused to eat
the company director
we had prepared for him.
278
00:23:51,460 --> 00:23:53,760
The other workers are furious.
279
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:57,500
Several of them
were only one heartbeat
away from a promotion.
280
00:23:57,530 --> 00:24:01,470
It was all I could do
to rescue Leo from the crowd.
281
00:24:01,500 --> 00:24:05,340
People can be quite vicious
once they get
the smell of blood.
282
00:24:05,370 --> 00:24:09,040
My friend here is taking me
home with him tonight.
283
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:13,780
However, I shall be back again
next time with another story.
Good night.
21767
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