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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:14,599 All right? 2 00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:17,239 Yeah. You? 3 00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:18,160 Yeah. 4 00:00:19,559 --> 00:00:21,039 Do you want some toa-- Oh. 5 00:00:21,839 --> 00:00:23,039 -So? -[Tony] What? 6 00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:25,440 Ask me about the date! 7 00:00:25,519 --> 00:00:27,280 Oh, right. Good? 8 00:00:28,239 --> 00:00:31,960 -Yeah. He's, uh... He's funny, isn't he? -Definitely. 9 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,880 Sort of... rough and... 10 00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:36,479 rugged? 11 00:00:36,799 --> 00:00:38,719 [sighs] Like he lives under a bridge. 12 00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:40,479 [doorbell rings] 13 00:00:46,399 --> 00:00:47,960 -All right? -[Tony] Yeah. 14 00:00:48,039 --> 00:00:49,159 Is Roxy in there? 15 00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:52,439 -Yeah, why? -Well, I've just popped round to see her. 16 00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:55,039 Surely you've popped round to deliver my mail? 17 00:00:55,479 --> 00:00:57,320 You haven't got any mail. Can I come in, then? 18 00:00:57,399 --> 00:00:58,399 It's like a zombie movie. 19 00:00:58,479 --> 00:01:00,679 You're always just outside the house trying to get in. 20 00:01:00,759 --> 00:01:02,119 [Pat] Don't be antisocial. 21 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:14,079 -Can I have that last bit of toast? -Yeah. 22 00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:15,560 Ah. Cheers, babe. 23 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:17,760 -Do you want something on it? -No, you're all right. 24 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:19,719 -Got any peanut butter? -No. 25 00:01:19,799 --> 00:01:22,439 -Don't worry about it, honestly. -Sure? I'll pop out and... 26 00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:24,560 -Honestly, don't worry. -All right, good. 27 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:25,640 [doorbell rings] 28 00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:30,159 Oh! I didn't tell you, did I? Sue Fyers at work got fired. 29 00:01:30,239 --> 00:01:31,239 [Roxy] What for? 30 00:01:31,319 --> 00:01:32,319 Flashing. 31 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:34,439 -Front or back? -[door closes] 32 00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:36,640 Dunno, but the union's involved. I'm staying out of it. 33 00:01:36,719 --> 00:01:40,039 -Right, I've got to go. -All right. See you later, mate. 34 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:41,280 Get out! 35 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:43,840 -Eh? -[Tony] What is it? 36 00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:46,400 A woman suing a doctor for a botched surgery. 37 00:01:46,479 --> 00:01:49,000 -[Tony] Right. -Someone blows hot and cold, don't they? 38 00:01:49,479 --> 00:01:51,840 Could've done with an egg, but forget about it. 39 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:54,640 What happened to you last night? You bailed early. 40 00:01:54,719 --> 00:01:56,479 Yeah, sorry. Um... 41 00:01:56,799 --> 00:01:58,079 What time did you get home? 42 00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:00,000 Uh... About ten. 43 00:02:00,079 --> 00:02:01,079 I got in at four. 44 00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:03,000 Completely smashed. 45 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:05,480 Covered in kebab and fanny juice. 46 00:02:06,239 --> 00:02:07,200 Don't ask me how. 47 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:08,719 I wasn't gonna. 48 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:11,560 Did too much chang, so I was lying in bed doing the luge... 49 00:02:11,639 --> 00:02:15,000 till the alarm went off, then, boom, shower! Coffee. 50 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:17,879 Suit straight down the dry cleaners. Work. 51 00:02:20,439 --> 00:02:22,199 I got home and I cried a little bit. 52 00:02:22,599 --> 00:02:24,960 Dry cleaners are used to it. I've shat myself twice. 53 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:28,120 [clicks tongue] Right. Um... 54 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:31,479 -Just, sorry, to go back to... me. -[therapist sighs] 55 00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:33,319 I, um... 56 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:37,199 I think that I was crying because I don't want to give up on her, 57 00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:41,879 you know, I don't want to give up on us. And... all I want to do is 58 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:44,319 just... talk to her and beg her 59 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:46,319 to let us go back to how it was. 60 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,879 -Matt-- -But I don't want to stifle her. I don't-- 61 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:50,759 -Women don't want this. -Yeah. 62 00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:52,599 OK? It's pathetic. 63 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:54,439 Begging. 64 00:02:55,039 --> 00:02:57,400 [scoffs] How is that good for a family? 65 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:03,199 Females choose mates based on their strength. 66 00:03:03,759 --> 00:03:05,479 OK? On their power. 67 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:08,400 Their capabilities to provide... 68 00:03:09,199 --> 00:03:10,360 and keep them safe. 69 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:14,680 We're descended from fucking cavemen, Matt. 70 00:03:16,039 --> 00:03:18,159 We go out, we kill a saber-toothed tiger, 71 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,599 we bring it back, we share it out, 72 00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:22,199 and then we give the fittest bird a good fucking seeing to. 73 00:03:23,199 --> 00:03:24,479 That's where we're from. 74 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:29,120 Yeah, I just don't think that's really... me. 75 00:03:29,199 --> 00:03:30,240 No, it's not. 76 00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:33,159 Being you 77 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:36,120 will not win her back. It's as simple as that. 78 00:03:36,199 --> 00:03:38,199 -You've tried that, didn't work. -Yeah. No. 79 00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:39,639 She thinks you're a loser. 80 00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:40,560 Solution? 81 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:44,520 Be something fucking better! 82 00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:46,280 Be something fucking stronger. 83 00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:47,639 -Yeah? -Mm. 84 00:03:47,719 --> 00:03:48,639 Lie. 85 00:03:49,199 --> 00:03:50,039 Cheat. 86 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:51,920 Just be a man. 87 00:03:54,439 --> 00:03:55,439 But not you. 88 00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:58,840 When did you start... having all this done? 89 00:03:59,719 --> 00:04:01,199 [woman] 'Bout five years ago. 90 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:04,360 Started on, like, botox... 91 00:04:04,439 --> 00:04:07,360 and, like, filler for wrinkles an' that. 92 00:04:08,599 --> 00:04:09,840 [Tony] How old were you? 93 00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:11,479 Early 20s. 94 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:14,120 What wrinkles did you have? 95 00:04:14,199 --> 00:04:15,199 [woman groans] 96 00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:17,839 Dunno, like, frown lines an' that. 97 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:22,040 -Right. -[woman] Yeah, then I proper got into it. 98 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:23,519 I just couldn't get enough. 99 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,600 And then I got my lips done, 100 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:27,560 and I had a bit of a reaction. 101 00:04:27,639 --> 00:04:29,639 But that settled down in the end. 102 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:32,360 And then I wanted to go bigger, then this happened. 103 00:04:33,199 --> 00:04:36,480 My whole face was paralyzed. It's only just gone back to normal. 104 00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:38,879 -Has it? -Yeah. 105 00:04:38,959 --> 00:04:40,079 My boobs leak. 106 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:42,720 They're fake an' all. 107 00:04:43,159 --> 00:04:44,480 -Are they? -[woman] Yeah. 108 00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:46,240 -I mean, rock hard. -[dull tapping] 109 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:48,319 -Right. -[woman sighs] 110 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:49,639 Yeah. 111 00:04:50,079 --> 00:04:53,759 Sorry, and that was the same guy... that did your face? 112 00:04:53,840 --> 00:04:56,000 Yeah. I was furious. 113 00:04:56,079 --> 00:04:58,040 -Still am. -[Tony] Are you? 114 00:04:58,879 --> 00:04:59,879 It's hard to tell. 115 00:04:59,959 --> 00:05:02,240 [woman] If you think he botched my face and chest, 116 00:05:02,319 --> 00:05:03,680 you should see my minge. 117 00:05:04,839 --> 00:05:06,319 It's like a butcher's bin. 118 00:05:08,639 --> 00:05:09,560 Sorry, 119 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,040 you went back to him to have your... 120 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:14,519 -Minge. -Yeah, I know. I didn't want to say the... 121 00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:18,079 Yeah, he did it for half price, though. 'Cause of how he'd ruined my face. 122 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:19,000 [Tony] Right. 123 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:22,480 Why would you want to have that done? 124 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:27,839 I think I've got a problem. 125 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:30,240 Yeah. 126 00:05:30,759 --> 00:05:31,879 I mean, it might be... 127 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:34,000 like an addiction. 128 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:38,560 -What, do you mean, like, I can't help it? -[Tony] Well, I guess so, 129 00:05:38,639 --> 00:05:42,159 but... I mean, if you acknowledge it, there's a chance you can... 130 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:44,480 get... you know, get help. 131 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:46,759 -Do you think I'm mental? -Well... [sighs] 132 00:05:47,079 --> 00:05:48,399 No more than the rest of us. 133 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:52,800 As I say, we're all screwed up in one way or another. 134 00:05:52,879 --> 00:05:54,360 It sort of makes you normal. 135 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:56,000 [strangled wail] 136 00:05:56,079 --> 00:05:57,240 [chuckles wryly] 137 00:05:57,319 --> 00:05:58,720 -Are you laughing? -No. 138 00:05:58,800 --> 00:05:59,720 [Tony] Crying? 139 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:01,000 -Oh. -[Tony] Oh... 140 00:06:01,079 --> 00:06:01,920 Um... 141 00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:04,279 No, they've fucked my tear ducts. 142 00:06:06,399 --> 00:06:08,480 -[sighs] Take a picture. -Yeah. 143 00:06:08,879 --> 00:06:10,079 [woman sniffs, clears throat] 144 00:06:11,439 --> 00:06:12,399 [camera clicks] 145 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:14,399 -[woman] Got it? -[Lenny] Yeah. Great. 146 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:20,480 -Hiya. -[Matt] Hey. 147 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:24,879 Are you going to that am-dram cabaret thing? 148 00:06:26,199 --> 00:06:27,439 I dunno. Why? 149 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,399 Well... wondered if you'd like to come with me? 150 00:06:31,519 --> 00:06:33,920 -What do you mean? You mean you're going? -[Kath] Yeah. 151 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,800 Thought we could have a drink before and sit together. 152 00:06:38,759 --> 00:06:40,480 Right. I'm not sure if I'm going. 153 00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:43,159 Right. Well, would you like to go... 154 00:06:44,079 --> 00:06:45,040 with me? 155 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,959 Well, with everyone, really. Everyone's going. We'd all be there. 156 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:51,279 Yeah, but I'm saying would you like to sit with me? 157 00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:54,199 But I don't know if I'm going. And we don't know 158 00:06:54,279 --> 00:06:55,959 -what seats will be free. -If you don't want 159 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:57,759 -to go with me, just say. -No, it's not that. 160 00:06:57,840 --> 00:07:00,519 -I haven't even checked my diary. -Well, go on, then. 161 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:02,639 -What? -Well, check it. It's right there. 162 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:06,480 Oh, no. It's hardly on the right page, is it? 163 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:16,040 -There's nothing in there at the moment. -Yeah. Right. Well, I'll, uh... 164 00:07:17,279 --> 00:07:18,639 pencil that in, then. 165 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:22,360 Um, I will have to check my master diary as well. 166 00:07:22,439 --> 00:07:24,480 -You've got a master diary? -Yeah. 167 00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:27,160 I've got work here, and then personal at home, 168 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:30,800 so I tend to mix and match, actually, so... Tony? 169 00:07:30,879 --> 00:07:33,000 Can I just... Sorry, Kath, I've got... 170 00:07:33,079 --> 00:07:34,560 Tony, we've got our, um... 171 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:36,920 meeting. 172 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:41,040 Um... Shut the door. 173 00:07:46,159 --> 00:07:48,439 Kath just asked me to sit next to her at the cabaret thing. 174 00:07:48,519 --> 00:07:49,519 Great. 175 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:51,319 -I need to get out of it. -Why? 176 00:07:51,399 --> 00:07:53,920 -Please help me get out of it. Please. -How? 177 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:56,279 Say you're thinking of killing yourself again. 178 00:07:57,399 --> 00:07:59,959 Say I'm thinking of killing myself next Thursday? 179 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:01,399 Well, I'll tell her, then. 180 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:05,240 You'll tell her you can't go with her 'cause I'm thinking of killing myself? 181 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:07,720 I'm not saying I'm thinking of killing myself 182 00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:10,399 'cause you're too chicken to say you don't want to go on a date. 183 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:12,399 [sighs] For fuck's sake, it's just a favor. 184 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:14,560 And do you know the fable, The Boy Who Cried Wolf? 185 00:08:14,639 --> 00:08:16,199 -Yeah. -Yeah. Right. 186 00:08:16,279 --> 00:08:18,839 So, what happens when I really am thinking of killing myself, 187 00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:22,360 and everyone goes, "Nah, he's just trying to get his cowardly brother-in-law 188 00:08:22,439 --> 00:08:23,480 out of a date"? 189 00:08:24,199 --> 00:08:27,160 Well, no, that's different in that case, isn't it? 190 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,639 'Cause he admitted it. He was like, "Nah, only joking." 191 00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:31,079 So they all knew he was lying. 192 00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:33,120 And he kept doing it, so it was obvious. 193 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,480 We'll only use this lie once, and we'll never admit to it. 194 00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:40,159 So, the moral of that fable is: "Never admit you were lying, 195 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:41,320 -ever..." -Yeah. 196 00:08:41,399 --> 00:08:44,919 "...and always use different lies each time"? 197 00:08:45,519 --> 00:08:46,440 Yeah. 198 00:08:46,519 --> 00:08:47,759 Nice message. 199 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:48,799 -No. -Come on. 200 00:08:48,879 --> 00:08:49,720 No. 201 00:08:50,039 --> 00:08:51,720 -Fuck's sake. -You're on your own. 202 00:08:52,919 --> 00:08:53,960 [door closes] 203 00:08:54,039 --> 00:08:56,039 [sentimental music plays] 204 00:09:03,279 --> 00:09:05,080 [birds chirping] 205 00:09:28,759 --> 00:09:30,039 [Tony] There we go, Dad. 206 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:34,080 Good. 207 00:09:34,159 --> 00:09:35,399 There. You're all right. 208 00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:38,200 -Hi. -Hiya. 209 00:09:38,279 --> 00:09:40,120 [Tony's dad breathes out heavily] 210 00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:45,039 Tony, I'm not going to sit around and wait for you to make a move, 211 00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:46,399 I have to get on with my life. 212 00:09:47,679 --> 00:09:50,080 -Why are you acting weird? -I'm acting weird? 213 00:09:50,159 --> 00:09:51,559 For fuck's sake, Tony! 214 00:09:51,639 --> 00:09:53,399 I'm just a bit fed up, all right? 215 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:56,039 -My wife died. My dad-- -Yes, I know. 216 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:57,600 Oh, sorry if that bores you. 217 00:09:57,679 --> 00:09:59,919 Seriously? Fucking hell. 218 00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:02,200 Was it just a drink? 219 00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:03,919 Fuck's sake. 220 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,039 It's just a question. Was it just a drink? 221 00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:08,360 [exasperated] Yes, it was just a drink! 222 00:10:09,039 --> 00:10:10,679 OK. Good. 223 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,200 [plumps pillow] 224 00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:15,639 But it might not always be just a drink, though. 225 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:25,559 Dad, say, "Simon is a cunt." 226 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:28,039 What? 227 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:30,720 "Simon is a cunt." 228 00:10:32,639 --> 00:10:33,480 Say it. 229 00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:37,080 -Yeah. -"Simon is a cunt." 230 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:39,720 Remember that. 231 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:42,919 Right. 232 00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:45,360 [wistful instrumental music plays] 233 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:47,039 [nurse] All right? 234 00:10:47,919 --> 00:10:50,360 -Is it OK? Not too hot? -[woman] No, it's good. 235 00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:52,279 [nurse] Yeah. Manage another one? 236 00:10:53,519 --> 00:10:56,240 You'll feel so much better if you eat this. That's it. 237 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:00,720 -[indistinct chatter] -[spoon clinking] 238 00:11:01,919 --> 00:11:03,639 That's better, eh? OK? 239 00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:04,879 -Yeah. -Yeah? 240 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:08,840 Hi. 241 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,480 -Hi. -I've brought you a few jumpers. 242 00:11:11,559 --> 00:11:14,679 -It's getting a bit chillier outside. -Great. Thanks. 243 00:11:14,759 --> 00:11:18,159 [chuckles lightly] I mean, yeah, can never have too many jumpers. 244 00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:20,559 Um... I was gonna call you, actually. 245 00:11:20,639 --> 00:11:22,159 Um, you know the cabaret thing 246 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:23,600 -that they're doing? -Yeah. 247 00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:26,080 I wondered if you wanted to come. 248 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:28,639 I'd have to sort a babysitter. 249 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:30,600 No, you can bring George. It's for everyone. 250 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:32,879 Oh... I'm not sure. 251 00:11:33,519 --> 00:11:36,320 Yeah. Um... You'd be doing me a favor, actually. 252 00:11:36,799 --> 00:11:39,000 -Kath's asked me to go with her. -Why? 253 00:11:40,279 --> 00:11:41,960 I think she's got a thing for me. 254 00:11:42,039 --> 00:11:43,360 Well, tell her you can't 255 00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:45,399 'cause you're going with your wife and child. 256 00:11:46,399 --> 00:11:47,600 Right. Yeah. 257 00:11:49,159 --> 00:11:51,639 -Uh... -I mean, it's nice of her, though, really, 258 00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:53,840 'cause she probably thought you were lonely. 259 00:11:53,919 --> 00:11:55,240 -Probably. -Yeah. 260 00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:56,840 I was thinking of coming, 261 00:11:56,919 --> 00:11:59,080 I just didn't know whether George would be allowed. 262 00:11:59,159 --> 00:12:01,120 -He is, yeah. -That's good, yeah. 263 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:04,200 -OK, well... I'd better go. -Yeah. 264 00:12:04,279 --> 00:12:06,960 -Thanks for the... -Um, but I'll see you later. 265 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:10,080 [gentle instrumental music plays] 266 00:12:12,559 --> 00:12:14,720 -Hi. You all right? Yeah, good. -[Jill] You all right? 267 00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:19,279 [Tony] All right? 268 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:28,080 -Um... Kath, about the, um, cabaret thing. -Yeah? 269 00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:30,919 I'm gonna go with Jill and George. 270 00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:34,480 Yeah, fine. Brilliant. 271 00:12:35,679 --> 00:12:36,519 [Kath] Great. 272 00:12:39,639 --> 00:12:42,679 -I'm killing myself that night! -Don't... [sighs heavily] 273 00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:45,679 What? 274 00:12:46,759 --> 00:12:48,799 Oh. Nothing, it was a... 275 00:12:48,879 --> 00:12:49,720 Weird! 276 00:12:52,159 --> 00:12:54,279 [wistful instrumental music plays] 277 00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:58,399 Do you want a coffee? 278 00:13:00,519 --> 00:13:01,360 Why? 279 00:13:01,879 --> 00:13:02,759 Why? 280 00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:05,799 Dunno, 'cause it tastes nice? 281 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,240 Come on, let's go for a nice coffee, and... 282 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:13,320 talk about really interesting things like... advertising. 283 00:13:13,879 --> 00:13:15,440 -Yeah? -Yeah, all right. 284 00:13:18,639 --> 00:13:19,919 [footsteps recede] 285 00:13:28,919 --> 00:13:30,360 -There you go. -Thanks. 286 00:13:31,799 --> 00:13:33,240 [Tony sighs tiredly] 287 00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:37,279 Did I embarrass myself with Matt, then? 288 00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:38,360 Definitely not. 289 00:13:38,919 --> 00:13:41,279 Why would you be embarrassed about being honest 290 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:43,399 and saying something nice? He should be flattered. 291 00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:44,720 I think he was scared! 292 00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,759 [chuckles sadly] I'm obviously not his type. 293 00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:50,320 Someone just got there first. 294 00:13:50,399 --> 00:13:52,960 But, um... you didn't do anything wrong. 295 00:13:53,039 --> 00:13:54,360 You showed your feelings. 296 00:13:55,039 --> 00:13:56,039 That's good. 297 00:13:56,879 --> 00:13:58,600 I wish I'd shown my feelings more. 298 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:01,000 With Lisa. Um... 299 00:14:01,639 --> 00:14:02,480 I... 300 00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:06,679 Sometimes, I'd be embarrassed to hold hands in public. 301 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:10,480 Or if we were on the phone and there was people around, 302 00:14:10,879 --> 00:14:13,159 she'd always say, "Bye. Love you." 303 00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:15,200 And I would go, "Me too." 304 00:14:15,279 --> 00:14:17,200 And she'd laugh, 'cause she'd know. 305 00:14:18,039 --> 00:14:18,879 Yeah. 306 00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:21,120 Sometimes, I was out, working late. 307 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:23,600 The phone would go, and I'd think, "Oh, God, what's happened?" 308 00:14:23,679 --> 00:14:26,519 And I'd go, "Hello?" I'd go, "What's wrong?" And, um... 309 00:14:27,799 --> 00:14:30,159 she'd say, "Nothing's wrong, I just love you." 310 00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:31,480 [chokes back sobs] 311 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:38,559 So... And one day, you'll meet someone, and it'll be... 312 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:40,480 Life will be brilliant. 313 00:14:41,159 --> 00:14:42,000 So, uh... 314 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:46,440 Nothing to feel sad about. Not yet. [strangled giggle] 315 00:14:48,919 --> 00:14:50,919 [mournful instrumental music plays] 316 00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:58,960 I'm going to... walk for... 317 00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:00,799 OK. 318 00:15:00,879 --> 00:15:02,559 -Thanks for the coffee. -Sure. 319 00:15:02,639 --> 00:15:06,279 Oh, and thanks for telling me that thing about your wife calling you. 320 00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:07,360 It was lovely. 321 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:09,960 -See you later. -See you later. 322 00:15:49,039 --> 00:15:50,440 [Tony] Bad day, I'm afraid. 323 00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:57,240 The last thing you should do is drink alone. 324 00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:02,279 [Tony chuckles] 325 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:04,840 Mm... 326 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:07,039 Nice. 327 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,200 [Tony] Lisa was my greatest achievement. 328 00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:14,840 I've never done anything else, really. Not of worth. 329 00:16:16,639 --> 00:16:18,159 Nothing else to be proud of. 330 00:16:20,039 --> 00:16:21,039 Just that. 331 00:16:22,639 --> 00:16:23,679 I won at life. 332 00:16:25,919 --> 00:16:26,919 You did. 333 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:33,279 I'm not as good as her, and I'm proud of that. [chuckles] 334 00:16:33,879 --> 00:16:35,039 You're just different. 335 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:39,360 I'm angry. I'm petty. I'm sad. 336 00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:42,320 I'm jealous of anyone who's still got someone. 337 00:16:45,559 --> 00:16:47,919 How did you get Lisa if you were so bad? 338 00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:50,720 I'm not sure. 339 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:54,440 I was just nice to her, I think. 340 00:16:54,919 --> 00:16:56,440 You should try that again. 341 00:16:56,519 --> 00:16:57,720 [both chuckle] 342 00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:01,639 I miss her so much. 343 00:17:02,919 --> 00:17:04,400 I feel sad all the time. 344 00:17:06,079 --> 00:17:07,400 I'm not the person I was. 345 00:17:08,519 --> 00:17:10,240 Lisa dying, I just... It's like... 346 00:17:11,559 --> 00:17:14,680 I lost most of me, and all the good stuff, all the happiness... 347 00:17:15,279 --> 00:17:16,480 any joy in anything... 348 00:17:19,759 --> 00:17:21,599 I feel like I'm nothing, you know? 349 00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:22,960 That's not true. 350 00:17:23,039 --> 00:17:25,640 People think that I'm sort of OK, you know, 351 00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:27,759 like I'm getting on with it, I'm snarky now and again, 352 00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:30,119 and that this is a lapse, but it's not. 353 00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:32,240 This is me all the time now. 354 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:36,359 Everything else is the front, you know? 355 00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:38,519 I'm not well, but I remember 356 00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:41,039 what it was like to be normal, so I do an impression of that. 357 00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:44,960 But this is what I really am. 358 00:17:45,039 --> 00:17:47,160 And I want to be normal again... [sniffles] 359 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:48,759 ...but I'm weak, you know? 360 00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:53,400 When Lisa was dying, I tried to be brave and put a... 361 00:17:54,079 --> 00:17:56,079 you know, a face on, to be positive, 362 00:17:56,680 --> 00:18:00,160 and even then, I'd break down sometimes, and she'd... [voice cracks] 363 00:18:01,599 --> 00:18:02,839 ...have to comfort me. 364 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:07,880 I couldn't even give her that. When she was dying, she was still on duty. 365 00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:09,559 Looking after me. 366 00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:12,880 She'd have loved that. 367 00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:13,799 [sniffles] 368 00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:17,319 [sobbing] I don't know. 369 00:18:17,799 --> 00:18:18,759 I do. 370 00:18:21,359 --> 00:18:22,759 'Cause I'm a woman too. 371 00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:26,440 -[Tony sniffles] -And it's better to be needed. 372 00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:29,079 [sobs, sighs] 373 00:18:34,799 --> 00:18:35,960 [Tony sobs gently] 374 00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:40,400 [Lisa] Be strong. 375 00:18:41,319 --> 00:18:43,880 Everybody's struggling. It's not always their fault. 376 00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:48,200 There's a porter here with a bit of a BO problem. 377 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:52,720 I'm quite glad you haven't bumped into him, to be honest. He stinks. 378 00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:53,799 [inhales deeply] 379 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:55,000 And do you know why? 380 00:18:56,039 --> 00:18:58,599 'Cause he's working twice as hard as everyone else. 381 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:01,440 He's always running around doing stuff for other people. 382 00:19:01,519 --> 00:19:02,680 He's got no idea. 383 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:07,119 And I was going to say something, but do you know what came out? 384 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:09,640 "Thank you for working so hard." 385 00:19:10,559 --> 00:19:11,799 And he nearly cried. 386 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:16,559 [sighs] Just tell people you appreciate 'em now and then, yeah? 387 00:19:33,079 --> 00:19:35,759 -[Tony] Hi, sorry. Um... -Oh, hello. 388 00:19:35,839 --> 00:19:37,240 -Can I...? Um... -Yeah. 389 00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:40,559 -Is it Tony? -Yeah. Hi. Um... 390 00:19:42,079 --> 00:19:43,359 Has anyone asked you... 391 00:19:43,839 --> 00:19:46,599 not to close the paper and sell the building? 392 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:48,839 No. 393 00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:51,119 Right. Um... 394 00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:53,119 Please don't. 395 00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,119 A lot of people rely on it. And, um... 396 00:19:57,039 --> 00:19:59,759 I mean, how much will you make from selling it? 397 00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:01,880 Half a million. 398 00:20:04,039 --> 00:20:05,599 Right... Yeah. 399 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:08,440 That's a lot. 400 00:20:08,759 --> 00:20:09,599 Mm. 401 00:20:11,079 --> 00:20:12,559 What will you do with that? 402 00:20:14,759 --> 00:20:15,799 New car, maybe. 403 00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:19,680 Ah... I dunno, um... 404 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:22,000 Potter around a bit. 405 00:20:23,319 --> 00:20:25,440 No, it's just that, you know, if, um... 406 00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:29,039 if I don't cash in my chips soon, you know, none of my... 407 00:20:29,559 --> 00:20:31,440 I might kick the bucket, then it'd be too late. 408 00:20:32,559 --> 00:20:35,640 I mean, it's not as if I need anything as such, it's, uh... 409 00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:37,599 Although... [chuckles lightly] 410 00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:42,160 ...I wouldn't say no to the company of a nice lady. 411 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:43,240 [chuckles] 412 00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:46,920 That's all that matters. 413 00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:51,000 I had the best marriage imaginable. 414 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:52,839 Magical. 415 00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:54,359 Uh... 416 00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:58,039 So, when, um, Lisa, my wife, 417 00:20:58,119 --> 00:20:59,480 when she died, 418 00:20:59,559 --> 00:21:02,079 I was suicidal, and depressed. 419 00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:05,119 And everyone was so nice, everyone tried to help me and... 420 00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:09,400 they sort of saved me, so... I wanted to do something nice back. 421 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:13,839 But, um, anyway, you're a nice guy, and I just want you to know, 422 00:21:14,799 --> 00:21:16,759 you know, the whole story, and, uh... 423 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:20,000 I mean, if you weren't to sell it, um, 424 00:21:20,079 --> 00:21:22,880 we could... you know, give it another go. 425 00:21:23,279 --> 00:21:25,720 If it didn't work out, you could sell it next year. 426 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:27,400 It might work, and... 427 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:31,559 we could do with someone... who cared about... success, 428 00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:34,119 'cause we are the biggest bunch of losers you will ever meet. 429 00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:35,519 [laughs] 430 00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:37,039 [Tony] But... 431 00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:39,200 it's a... it's a good bunch. 432 00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:44,079 It might be nice to have a challenge again. 433 00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:46,000 Cheers. 434 00:21:50,319 --> 00:21:51,160 [James] OK. 435 00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:53,160 ♪ Isn't it rich? ♪ 436 00:21:53,799 --> 00:21:56,039 ♪ Aren't we a pair? ♪ 437 00:21:56,119 --> 00:21:58,039 You're not doing the lyrics right. Start it again. 438 00:21:58,119 --> 00:22:00,000 -Come on. -[sighs] OK. All right. 439 00:22:00,079 --> 00:22:03,559 Don't think about it, do it. Sing it like it means something. 440 00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:04,839 ♪ Isn't it rich? ♪ 441 00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:06,880 [Ken] Start again so I can hear it! 442 00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:09,240 -♪ Isn't it rich? ♪ -♪ Isn't it... rich! ♪ 443 00:22:09,319 --> 00:22:12,079 -♪ Are... ♪ -♪ Aren't we a pair? ♪ 444 00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:15,119 -[Ken] No, again. "Isn't it rich?" -Ken, I can't do it, all right? 445 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:18,079 Who's gonna be a superstar in a year if he listens to his director? 446 00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:19,920 -But I can't breathe, Ken. -You. Do it again. 447 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,440 -I could just dance. -Sing and dance. 448 00:22:21,519 --> 00:22:23,880 -What are you trying to say? -Can I do the dance on its own? 449 00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:27,119 -If I did it with just the dance. -He doesn't work well under pressure. 450 00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:28,279 Ken, stop shouting at him! 451 00:22:28,359 --> 00:22:30,039 -I'm so sorry you had to see that. -It's OK. 452 00:22:30,119 --> 00:22:32,319 I don't normally lose it like that. I just... 453 00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:35,279 I'm trying to create the best scenario. 454 00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:36,960 You can do it without the words. 455 00:22:37,039 --> 00:22:38,279 -Thanks, Ken. -Just the dance. 456 00:22:38,359 --> 00:22:39,839 -Is that what you want to do? -Yeah. 457 00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:42,880 If that makes you happy, even if it's shit, and it will be, 458 00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:44,680 I want you to be happy, all right? 459 00:22:44,759 --> 00:22:46,799 -Thanks, Ken. -This is why we do it. It's all right. 460 00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:49,039 Hey, have I told you about my sister's anus yet? 461 00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:51,599 -Uh... I don't think so. -Right, listen up. 462 00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:54,079 Silly cow is only having it bleached. 463 00:22:54,519 --> 00:22:58,000 Bleached! That's a thing now, bleaching your anus. 464 00:22:58,079 --> 00:23:00,119 -[Sandy] Right. -[Ken] I said, "For the love of God, 465 00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:02,240 why are you doing that?" She said, "So it looks nice." 466 00:23:02,319 --> 00:23:04,319 I said, "Fuck me, who's gonna see that?" 467 00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:07,319 More people are going to see mine, and mine's like a fucking compost heap. 468 00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:09,559 I think we should probably just watch. 469 00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:12,519 -What were you talking about? -I was telling her about my sister's anus. 470 00:23:12,839 --> 00:23:16,000 I'm fascinated with the anus. Always have been, always will be. 471 00:23:16,839 --> 00:23:19,359 The man who is tired of the anus is tired of life. 472 00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:24,240 -You can quote me on that. [chuckles] -OK, thanks. 473 00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:27,240 How's your material going? 474 00:23:27,319 --> 00:23:28,359 Gonna keep it loose. 475 00:23:28,839 --> 00:23:31,240 I'm sort of like a performance artist, so... 476 00:23:31,319 --> 00:23:33,200 I can't be constrained in the normal way. 477 00:23:33,279 --> 00:23:35,680 Well, you've got ten minutes, so you better keep it that tight. 478 00:23:35,759 --> 00:23:38,359 Ten minutes? I can't do everything in ten minutes. 479 00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:41,359 Oh, fuck this! Sort it out between you. I'm off for a vape. 480 00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:44,079 [stomping feet] If you want me, I'll be in the disableds. 481 00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:45,880 [door opens, closes] 482 00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:52,160 You all right? 483 00:23:52,839 --> 00:23:54,079 -Yeah. -How's it going? 484 00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:57,240 Just got a great scoop on Ken Otley's sister's anus. 485 00:23:57,319 --> 00:23:59,000 -[sniggers] -It's bleached. 486 00:23:59,519 --> 00:24:00,839 Good. Well... 487 00:24:01,559 --> 00:24:05,119 you might have to cover these sort of stories for a little while longer, 488 00:24:05,599 --> 00:24:08,119 'cause Paul's agreed not to close the paper. 489 00:24:08,799 --> 00:24:09,880 -Really? -Yeah. 490 00:24:11,279 --> 00:24:12,400 Oh, thank you! 491 00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:13,599 -Don't cry. -[giggles] 492 00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:15,160 You work so hard. 493 00:24:18,079 --> 00:24:19,079 You're great. 494 00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:21,880 -Thanks. -All right. 495 00:24:26,279 --> 00:24:27,559 [breathes out shakily] 496 00:24:27,799 --> 00:24:29,160 [upbeat music plays] 497 00:24:33,279 --> 00:24:36,480 [Lisa] Aww! Look at her! Brandy! What's this? 498 00:24:36,559 --> 00:24:39,039 -[Tony] She looks like a... cartoon mouse. -What is this? 499 00:24:39,119 --> 00:24:41,359 -[Tony] I don't... -[Lisa and Tony cackle] 500 00:24:42,759 --> 00:24:45,119 Get your dildo, Brand. Get your dildo! 501 00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:47,400 [both laugh raucously] 502 00:24:48,039 --> 00:24:49,599 [Lisa] Good girl! 503 00:24:51,039 --> 00:24:54,039 Brandy, say, "Sausages!" 504 00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:58,240 -[Tony laughs] -♪ Once we were lovers ♪ 505 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,880 ♪ Can they understand? ♪ 506 00:25:08,759 --> 00:25:12,400 ♪ Closer than others, I was your ♪ 507 00:25:15,319 --> 00:25:17,720 ♪ I was your man ♪ 508 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,480 ♪ Don't talk of heartaches ♪ 509 00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:30,319 ♪ Oh, I remember them all ♪ 510 00:25:34,599 --> 00:25:38,720 ♪ When I'm checking you out One day... ♪ 37593

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