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1
00:00:09,633 --> 00:00:14,434
# How will you make it
on your own #
2
00:00:16,774 --> 00:00:19,937
# This world is awfully big #
3
00:00:20,010 --> 00:00:23,173
# And, girl
this time you're all alone #
4
00:00:23,247 --> 00:00:27,445
# But it's time
you started living #
5
00:00:27,518 --> 00:00:30,749
# It's time you let someone else
do some giving #
6
00:00:30,821 --> 00:00:32,482
# Love is all around #
7
00:00:32,556 --> 00:00:34,751
# No need to waste it #
8
00:00:34,825 --> 00:00:38,761
# You can have the town
Why don't you take it #
9
00:00:38,829 --> 00:00:41,263
# You might just make it #
10
00:00:41,332 --> 00:00:44,267
# After all #
11
00:00:46,337 --> 00:00:51,969
# You might just make it
after all #
12
00:01:14,765 --> 00:01:17,859
Yeah? Okay, Murray,
I'll turn it on.
13
00:01:19,937 --> 00:01:24,271
This is Ted Baxter. Be with me tonight
at W.J.M. election headquarters...
14
00:01:24,341 --> 00:01:26,832
when this reporter and
his team of political experts...
15
00:01:26,911 --> 00:01:30,108
are the first to predict the winner
in the Minneapolis city election.
16
00:01:30,181 --> 00:01:33,708
My comprehensive analysis
will begin at 7:30...
17
00:01:33,784 --> 00:01:36,082
right after the Three Stooges.
18
00:01:38,155 --> 00:01:40,180
Come in.
19
00:01:40,257 --> 00:01:42,725
I can't.
20
00:01:44,695 --> 00:01:46,629
I'm sorry, Mr. Grant.
21
00:01:46,697 --> 00:01:49,222
- My hands were full.
- Can I ask you a personal question?
22
00:01:49,300 --> 00:01:51,700
- Sure.
- What did you knock with?
23
00:01:51,769 --> 00:01:53,703
- With my...
- Uh-huh.
24
00:01:53,771 --> 00:01:57,901
Mr. Grant, Murray and I dug up some
facts for the election show tonight.
25
00:01:57,975 --> 00:02:00,637
And we thought if you liked 'em,
we could put 'em on cue cards...
26
00:02:00,711 --> 00:02:02,770
in case Ted Baxter runs out
of things to say.
27
00:02:02,847 --> 00:02:08,251
Good. Baxter usually runs out after
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen."
28
00:02:08,319 --> 00:02:10,879
Sometimes after
"Good evening, ladies."
29
00:02:10,955 --> 00:02:16,359
Mary, when somebody does a terrific job,
I believe in letting them know it.
30
00:02:17,995 --> 00:02:19,929
Good work, Murray!
31
00:02:21,532 --> 00:02:24,023
Mary, I want you to be in charge
out there on the floor tonight.
32
00:02:24,101 --> 00:02:26,661
- You want me to-to be in charge?
- Mm-hmm.
33
00:02:26,737 --> 00:02:31,003
- But that's your job.
- No, it's telling you what your job is.
34
00:02:31,675 --> 00:02:33,703
Look, if it's a question
of extra money.
35
00:02:33,777 --> 00:02:37,736
- No, it's not a question of money.
- Good, 'cause there isn't any.
36
00:02:37,815 --> 00:02:41,114
Mr. Grant, you don't seem
to understand. l-l-l...
37
00:02:41,185 --> 00:02:45,019
In order to be in charge,
you have to be able to...
38
00:02:45,089 --> 00:02:48,490
exert authority,
and I've never been any good at that.
39
00:02:48,559 --> 00:02:51,824
- You can do it.
- No, I can't. You... You could do it.
40
00:02:51,896 --> 00:02:54,865
If I were you, right now
I'd probably be saying,
41
00:02:54,932 --> 00:02:57,594
"Mary, I'm in a little bind
right now and..."
42
00:02:57,668 --> 00:03:00,432
I don't wanna talk about it.
You're doing it.
43
00:03:00,504 --> 00:03:02,995
You see?
There it is. That's it.
44
00:03:03,073 --> 00:03:05,598
Start by telling the crew to
take a half-hour dinner break.
45
00:03:05,676 --> 00:03:08,110
- A half hour?
- Mm-hmm.
46
00:03:08,178 --> 00:03:10,442
The way the snow's coming down,
it'd be nice...
47
00:03:10,514 --> 00:03:12,948
if everybody was back
by the time they had to start.
48
00:03:13,017 --> 00:03:14,848
Go tell 'em.
49
00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:20,388
Mr. Grant, really, I've just never
been any good at exerting authority.
50
00:03:20,457 --> 00:03:24,291
- They probably won't even listen to me.
- What'd you say?
51
00:03:26,997 --> 00:03:29,158
l...
52
00:03:32,803 --> 00:03:34,896
I'll find out
for you right now.
53
00:03:34,972 --> 00:03:37,202
Harry, where do you want
camera two?
54
00:03:37,274 --> 00:03:39,538
Have him on the tote board.
- I want you on the board.
55
00:03:39,610 --> 00:03:42,511
- Do you have a minute?
- Let me check Baxter's...
56
00:03:42,580 --> 00:03:45,071
- Over here, Murray.
- No, it's okay. Take your time.
57
00:03:45,149 --> 00:03:47,083
It's fine.
58
00:03:47,151 --> 00:03:50,052
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm Ted Baxter.
59
00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:54,056
"Welcome to W.J.M. 's continuous
election night coverage, and remember.
60
00:03:54,124 --> 00:03:56,752
"We'll stay on the air
until a winner is declared.
61
00:03:56,827 --> 00:03:59,819
Take off glasses.
Look concerned."
62
00:03:59,897 --> 00:04:02,832
- Ted said to put that in there.
- Take it out.
63
00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:06,529
Come on, Murr. Leave it in.
That's the way I remember my motivation.
64
00:04:06,604 --> 00:04:08,595
I don't mind you remembering
your motivation.
65
00:04:08,672 --> 00:04:13,109
It just frosts me when you read it
over the air like you did last night.
66
00:04:13,177 --> 00:04:15,441
"Mississippi River rises.
67
00:04:15,512 --> 00:04:17,446
"Thousands flee homes.
68
00:04:17,514 --> 00:04:19,846
Take off glasses.
Look concerned."
69
00:04:21,919 --> 00:04:24,911
I can explain that. When I took
off my glasses to look concerned,
70
00:04:24,989 --> 00:04:27,753
I forgot my place
in the cue card.
71
00:04:27,825 --> 00:04:29,918
- Hi, Mar.
- Hi, Ted.
72
00:04:29,994 --> 00:04:34,055
Tom, could you take this material
and put it on cue cards for Ted?
73
00:04:34,131 --> 00:04:36,292
- Who okayed this material?
- I did.
74
00:04:36,367 --> 00:04:41,537
- What about Lou?
- I'm sort of in charge tonight.
75
00:04:41,805 --> 00:04:43,864
- You're in what?
- In charge.
76
00:04:43,941 --> 00:04:46,974
That's dinner break. Take an hour.
77
00:04:49,413 --> 00:04:51,881
Could I have
your attention, please?
78
00:04:51,949 --> 00:04:55,544
Everybody, would you all
just gather around?
79
00:04:55,619 --> 00:04:59,646
- Please, could I have your attention?
- Hey, everybody.
80
00:04:59,723 --> 00:05:02,283
- What's your name, honey?
- Mary.
81
00:05:02,359 --> 00:05:04,293
- Mary wants your attention.
- Thank you.
82
00:05:04,361 --> 00:05:06,591
I have an important
announcement to make.
83
00:05:06,664 --> 00:05:09,064
But first of all, I wanna thank you all
for the very good work...
84
00:05:09,133 --> 00:05:12,500
Get to the important announcement...
This is our dinner hour.
85
00:05:12,569 --> 00:05:15,197
That is the important announcement.
86
00:05:15,272 --> 00:05:18,969
We're only gonna take a half an hour
for dinner tonight.
87
00:05:19,043 --> 00:05:21,978
I can't eat dinner in a half hour.
88
00:05:22,046 --> 00:05:26,574
Of course you can't. It takes someone
that long to cut up his food for him.
89
00:05:26,650 --> 00:05:31,383
The reason we have to eat in a half hour
is that it's snowing really bad out.
90
00:05:31,455 --> 00:05:35,789
I can't eat a whole dinner in
a half hour. That's all there is to it.
91
00:05:35,859 --> 00:05:39,590
Ted, I didn't wanna
have to say this, but...
92
00:05:39,663 --> 00:05:42,427
just a little while ago
I was in Mr. Grant's...
93
00:05:42,499 --> 00:05:47,163
Lou's office... and he put me
in charge of the show tonight.
94
00:05:47,237 --> 00:05:50,764
So, as the person in charge
of the show tonight,
95
00:05:50,841 --> 00:05:54,140
I'm saying that we're gonna
take a half an hour for dinner.
96
00:05:55,946 --> 00:05:59,712
As the anchorman
of the show tonight, I say...
97
00:06:01,185 --> 00:06:04,518
I'll just have to eat
my dinner a little faster. Let's go.
98
00:06:06,757 --> 00:06:09,021
Right.
99
00:06:09,093 --> 00:06:11,061
Mister...
100
00:06:11,128 --> 00:06:13,688
- How's it going?
- Well, uh, they're not...
101
00:06:13,764 --> 00:06:15,732
You know...
102
00:06:15,799 --> 00:06:17,733
I, uh...
103
00:06:23,574 --> 00:06:25,906
Mary, it's really starting
to come down hard.
104
00:06:25,976 --> 00:06:29,605
- What time is it now?
- You have 15 minutes to get back.
105
00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:32,410
- Can I make you a cheese sandwich?
- Oh, great.
106
00:06:32,483 --> 00:06:35,680
- Okay.
- I don't know what dress to wear.
107
00:06:35,753 --> 00:06:38,586
I don't know what shoes...
I don't know what to wear.
108
00:06:38,655 --> 00:06:42,182
- Why don't you wear what you got on?
- I already wore that.
109
00:06:42,259 --> 00:06:47,026
Boy, I should have your job. At least
you get to dress up to go to work.
110
00:06:47,097 --> 00:06:50,191
When a person dresses dummies
in a store window like I do,
111
00:06:50,267 --> 00:06:54,101
the big deal is every Monday morning
when your smock is starched.
112
00:06:54,171 --> 00:06:56,731
You don't know what it's like
giving orders to Ted Baxter.
113
00:06:56,807 --> 00:06:58,798
Oh, is he gorgeous.
114
00:06:58,876 --> 00:07:02,835
Most people on TV are so phony,
but that Ted Baxter...
115
00:07:02,913 --> 00:07:07,441
When he takes off his glasses
and looks concerned, oh...
116
00:07:07,518 --> 00:07:09,850
That guy...
117
00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:12,218
Rhoda, can you get that
for me? I'm not dressed.
118
00:07:12,289 --> 00:07:15,417
Mary, I'm making a sandwich here.
Besides, it's probably for you.
119
00:07:17,694 --> 00:07:20,686
That's it. Wear the fur dress.
Goes great with the fur shoes.
120
00:07:20,764 --> 00:07:22,698
Hello?
121
00:07:22,766 --> 00:07:24,700
Yeah.
122
00:07:24,768 --> 00:07:27,635
Oh, no.
Oh, that is a problem.
123
00:07:27,704 --> 00:07:30,070
Well... No, listen,
it's nobody's fault.
124
00:07:30,140 --> 00:07:34,076
Sometimes no matter how many precautions
you take, these things just happen.
125
00:07:34,144 --> 00:07:37,307
- Who's having the baby?
- That was the employment agency.
126
00:07:37,381 --> 00:07:41,145
- Our extras won't come in the blizzard.
- What were they supposed to do?
127
00:07:41,178 --> 00:07:44,079
- Just answer the phones...
- I can answer phones.
128
00:07:44,148 --> 00:07:47,481
- And look good on television.
- I can answer phones.
129
00:07:47,551 --> 00:07:49,576
- You're on.
- Great.
130
00:07:49,653 --> 00:07:52,315
- My cheese sandwich.
- Yeah.
131
00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:56,723
Um, how is it possible
to make a bad cheese sandwich?
132
00:07:56,794 --> 00:07:59,991
Well, you were out of cheese,
so I used yogurt.
133
00:08:12,176 --> 00:08:15,043
- Five minutes to air time.
- Five minutes.
134
00:08:15,112 --> 00:08:18,240
- Mimi, has the other girl shown up yet?
- Not yet.
135
00:08:18,315 --> 00:08:22,342
- Everything ready, Mar?
- We still need a girl on the phones.
136
00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:24,683
We need someone to run
the tote board.
137
00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:27,019
- The political analyst hasn't shown up.
- Uh-huh.
138
00:08:27,091 --> 00:08:30,492
- Can you tell us when we wrap tonight?
- Uh, I've no idea.
139
00:08:30,561 --> 00:08:34,122
- Think it'll be before 9:00?
- We'll stay till we predict a winner.
140
00:08:34,198 --> 00:08:37,099
- What difference does it make?
- Well, it's not hard to understand.
141
00:08:37,167 --> 00:08:39,727
I wanna go to bed early so
I can get up early tomorrow...
142
00:08:39,803 --> 00:08:42,931
so I can read the reviews
about what I did tonight.
143
00:08:43,007 --> 00:08:44,941
All right.
Excuse me, Ted.
144
00:08:45,009 --> 00:08:47,739
I think this is Dr. Newton,
our political analyst.
145
00:08:48,812 --> 00:08:51,610
- Doctor?
- I'm not even a dentist.
146
00:08:51,682 --> 00:08:56,244
Rhoda! I'm sorry. I thought
you were our political analyst.
147
00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:59,881
I'm glad you're here.
I gotta show you how to work that board.
148
00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:02,824
Look, when the numbers come in,
you get them up on the board.
149
00:09:02,893 --> 00:09:06,886
Yeah. Right on camera
behind Ted Baxter?
150
00:09:06,964 --> 00:09:10,832
Oh. How's this, Mary?
Is this okay?
151
00:09:10,901 --> 00:09:14,530
Yes, it's wonderful, but you have
to do it in back of the board.
152
00:09:14,605 --> 00:09:18,336
- You mean behind this thing?
- That's where the gadgets are.
153
00:09:18,409 --> 00:09:20,877
- I'm not taking this crummy job.
- Rhoda, come on!
154
00:09:20,944 --> 00:09:23,811
You're my friend.
Who else do you give crummy jobs to?
155
00:09:23,881 --> 00:09:26,247
How about one
of those losers over there?
156
00:09:26,316 --> 00:09:28,443
You know I have trouble
telling people what to do.
157
00:09:28,519 --> 00:09:31,977
- You seem to be telling me pretty good.
- Rhoda, please?
158
00:09:32,056 --> 00:09:35,184
All right, but this is the last time
I do a favor for you, Mary Richards.
159
00:09:35,259 --> 00:09:37,193
You see that headset?
Put it on.
160
00:09:37,261 --> 00:09:39,354
When the numbers come in,
get them up on the board.
161
00:09:39,430 --> 00:09:43,992
If I'd known this was the job,
I would've bought an ankle bracelet.
162
00:09:44,068 --> 00:09:46,229
Stand by for air.
163
00:09:46,303 --> 00:09:48,362
- Good luck, Ted.
- Thanks, Mar.
164
00:09:50,774 --> 00:09:53,709
Mary, I am smiling.
165
00:09:53,777 --> 00:09:56,473
When I am smiling,
I am happy.
166
00:09:56,547 --> 00:09:59,983
The first results
are starting to come in.
167
00:10:00,050 --> 00:10:02,883
Turner: 85;
Mitchell: 23.
168
00:10:02,953 --> 00:10:05,251
There it goes up
on that tote board.
169
00:10:05,322 --> 00:10:09,520
Good. Baxter seems
in good form. Fine.
170
00:10:09,593 --> 00:10:14,553
Everything's working smoothly.
Mary, when someone does a terrific job,
171
00:10:14,631 --> 00:10:17,623
I believe
in letting them know it.
172
00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:19,896
You're doing a...
What was that?
173
00:10:19,970 --> 00:10:23,303
What's wrong with the lights?
174
00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:25,432
The Teletype stopped.
175
00:10:25,509 --> 00:10:29,377
It can't stop.
If it stops, we don't get votes.
176
00:10:29,446 --> 00:10:32,142
It stopped.
We don't get votes.
177
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:35,916
The storm must've knocked
the lines down.
178
00:10:35,986 --> 00:10:38,750
At least we have people
at the precinct to phone the votes in.
179
00:10:38,822 --> 00:10:41,256
Hello? Hello?
180
00:10:41,325 --> 00:10:44,488
- Stand by.
- Hey.
181
00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:46,995
- Action!
- Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
182
00:10:47,064 --> 00:10:50,261
It's 7:30. The polls are closed.
And I'm Ted Baxter.
183
00:10:50,334 --> 00:10:52,802
Welcome to W.J.M.'s
continuous election night coverage.
184
00:10:52,870 --> 00:10:57,330
We'll be on the air with returns
until a winner is declared.
185
00:10:57,407 --> 00:11:01,207
We're in for an exciting evening
here at W.J.M.
186
00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:13,346
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, for those
of you that have tuned in late,
187
00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:18,360
we've been on the air for two hours now,
and the up-to-the-hour totals.
188
00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:21,920
Turner: 85,;
Mitchell: 23.
189
00:11:21,999 --> 00:11:24,524
And the tension is mounting.
190
00:11:25,936 --> 00:11:27,927
Oh, a commercial.
Good.
191
00:11:28,005 --> 00:11:31,941
We'll be back with more results,
I hope, right after this commercial.
192
00:11:32,009 --> 00:11:33,943
And cut!
193
00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:39,006
I can't take it anymore!
194
00:11:39,082 --> 00:11:42,950
Two hours of 85-23, 85-23?
195
00:11:43,020 --> 00:11:45,511
I need new numbers.
I can't ad-lib anymore.
196
00:11:45,589 --> 00:11:48,217
- But, Ted, your ad-libbing is great.
- Really?
197
00:11:48,292 --> 00:11:51,557
Really.
Yes, just fine. Fine.
198
00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:55,257
A couple of small points,
hardly worth mentioning,
199
00:11:55,332 --> 00:11:58,392
but do you think it's right
on the election show...
200
00:11:58,468 --> 00:12:02,029
to do impressions
of Humphrey Bogart?
201
00:12:02,105 --> 00:12:04,733
That's all you know.
I was doing Jimmy Cagney.
202
00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:07,777
I'm not going
back out there alone.
203
00:12:07,844 --> 00:12:10,074
- Has the political analyst arrived yet?
- No.
204
00:12:10,147 --> 00:12:12,775
I'm going back
out there alone.
205
00:12:12,849 --> 00:12:14,942
I'll never make it.
206
00:12:15,018 --> 00:12:18,112
Look, Ted, I'm positive the phone lines
are gonna be repaired soon.
207
00:12:18,188 --> 00:12:21,180
In the meantime, we're all counting
on you to pull us through.
208
00:12:21,258 --> 00:12:23,192
Thirty seconds. Stand by.
209
00:12:23,260 --> 00:12:27,856
- Ted, you're gonna be just fine.
- Why do we have to go back on the air?
210
00:12:27,931 --> 00:12:31,765
Why don't we rerun
last year's elections?
211
00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:34,065
At least last year's elections,
the numbers changed.
212
00:12:34,137 --> 00:12:37,664
Not like Turner: 85;
Mitchell: 23...
213
00:12:37,741 --> 00:12:41,199
Turner: 108; Mitchell: 61.
Like that.
214
00:12:41,278 --> 00:12:44,304
Turner: 112,;
Mitchell: 74.
215
00:12:44,381 --> 00:12:46,611
- The board's working.
- Don't stop me now. I'm rolling.
216
00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:49,550
- Turner: 136,; Mitchell: 114.
- Hold it.
217
00:12:49,620 --> 00:12:51,679
Hold it just a...
218
00:12:51,755 --> 00:12:56,089
Rhoda, you're leaning
on the switch.
219
00:12:56,159 --> 00:12:58,093
Hi, Mary.
220
00:13:00,664 --> 00:13:03,690
Nice guy. He's the floor manager,
whatever that is.
221
00:13:03,767 --> 00:13:05,928
Do you have to do that
at a time like this?
222
00:13:06,003 --> 00:13:08,267
You know what it's like all alone
behind that board?
223
00:13:08,338 --> 00:13:11,535
- It was Turner: 85...
- Mitchell: 23. I know.
224
00:13:11,608 --> 00:13:14,475
- Rhoda, please, get back there.
- Okay, okay.
225
00:13:14,544 --> 00:13:17,877
Ted, I'm sorry. Rhoda made a mistake.
These are the wrong numbers.
226
00:13:17,948 --> 00:13:19,779
Stand by, everybody.
227
00:13:19,850 --> 00:13:23,718
What's wrong is I'm standing here
and he's gonna throw his finger at me,
228
00:13:23,787 --> 00:13:26,881
and I'm gonna have to say,
"Welcome back to election headquarters."
229
00:13:28,592 --> 00:13:31,993
It's still Turner: 85;
Mitchell: 23.
230
00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:34,087
A definite trend is being set.
231
00:13:34,164 --> 00:13:36,632
Turner's lead seems to be
holding quite steady.
232
00:13:37,834 --> 00:13:39,825
And the excitement
is just beginning.
233
00:13:39,903 --> 00:13:44,397
Meanwhile, let's have a look at some
of the other hotly-contested issues.
234
00:13:45,709 --> 00:13:48,075
For example, the controversial
Proposition "A"...
235
00:13:48,145 --> 00:13:51,444
seems to be shaping up
as quite a cliffhanger.
236
00:13:51,515 --> 00:13:55,645
Right now the figures are
zero to zero.
237
00:14:03,827 --> 00:14:07,058
Have you ever wondered
what the letters W.J.M. stood for?
238
00:14:07,130 --> 00:14:09,564
Well, I certainly have.
239
00:14:10,734 --> 00:14:12,668
And so, in 1951,
240
00:14:12,736 --> 00:14:17,139
W.J.M. was granted a license
by the F.C.C.
241
00:14:17,207 --> 00:14:20,973
Have you ever wondered
what the letters F.C.C. stand for?
242
00:14:22,679 --> 00:14:25,773
That man is dying out there.
243
00:14:25,849 --> 00:14:30,548
He's read everything in the studio,
including his driver's license.
244
00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:34,147
What we need are votes to talk about.
What's happening with the phone company?
245
00:14:34,224 --> 00:14:36,158
- I sent a man over there.
- And?
246
00:14:36,226 --> 00:14:40,094
He's missing. So I sent another man
to look for the first man.
247
00:14:40,163 --> 00:14:42,097
- Don't tell me.
- Yes.
248
00:14:42,165 --> 00:14:45,464
I'd like to send another man, but
it's getting harder to find volunteers.
249
00:14:45,535 --> 00:14:47,503
Maybe we ought to
send Baxter.
250
00:14:47,571 --> 00:14:51,632
No, no, no. With our luck,
he'd be the only one to make it back.
251
00:14:51,708 --> 00:14:56,407
Mr. Grant, why don't we just rerun an
old movie until everything gets fixed?
252
00:14:57,748 --> 00:14:59,841
That's a good question...
253
00:14:59,916 --> 00:15:03,408
for someone who doesn't know
anything about this business.
254
00:15:03,487 --> 00:15:07,150
We sold our election night
coverage to sponsors.
255
00:15:07,224 --> 00:15:11,627
They don't have to pay us unless
we give them election night coverage.
256
00:15:11,695 --> 00:15:16,598
So, unless there's a movie
called Election Night Coverage...
257
00:15:18,101 --> 00:15:20,365
Lou, Ted ran out
of things to say.
258
00:15:20,437 --> 00:15:23,099
What? He ran out of things
to say three hours ago.
259
00:15:23,173 --> 00:15:26,404
- This time it's different.
- What?
260
00:15:26,476 --> 00:15:29,639
- Turn on the sound, Mary.
- The sound is on.
261
00:15:35,318 --> 00:15:37,252
Oh, this is different.
262
00:15:38,321 --> 00:15:40,949
- What's he doing out there?
- Breathing.
263
00:15:42,592 --> 00:15:46,392
I don't believe
I've ever seen that before.
264
00:15:46,463 --> 00:15:48,863
- Murray, get into commercial fast.
- Right.
265
00:15:48,932 --> 00:15:53,494
That settles it. There are votes out
there, and I'm gonna bring 'em here.
266
00:15:53,570 --> 00:15:57,028
Mario, get the mobile unit gassed up,
check the chains. I'm taking it out.
267
00:15:57,107 --> 00:15:59,041
- No!
- What do you mean, no?
268
00:15:59,109 --> 00:16:02,977
- No, don't go.
- I didn't say no... I said yes.
269
00:16:03,046 --> 00:16:05,742
- Yes, I'm still going.
- Mr. Grant, please don't go.
270
00:16:05,816 --> 00:16:07,750
If you go,
who's gonna be in charge?
271
00:16:07,818 --> 00:16:09,752
Same person who's been
in charge... you.
272
00:16:09,820 --> 00:16:14,015
They only let me be in charge because
they knew you were here to be in charge.
273
00:16:14,148 --> 00:16:17,208
Why don't you stay and let me
go get the votes?
274
00:16:17,285 --> 00:16:20,550
- I can't let you go out in that snow.
- Why? I'm good in the snow.
275
00:16:20,622 --> 00:16:23,113
I drive very carefully.
I've driven in it before.
276
00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:25,853
- You really think you can?
- Of course I can.
277
00:16:25,927 --> 00:16:28,259
The mobile unit has
automatic transmission, doesn't it?
278
00:16:28,329 --> 00:16:31,526
Four on the floor,
279
00:16:31,599 --> 00:16:36,229
double clutch, compound low,
four-wheel drive and a hydraulic shovel.
280
00:16:36,304 --> 00:16:39,000
- I can learn.
- Look, Mary.
281
00:16:39,073 --> 00:16:43,703
I hate to tell you this,
but the mobile unit is a truck.
282
00:16:43,778 --> 00:16:46,269
A big truck.
283
00:16:47,482 --> 00:16:49,677
- A big one.
- I can still learn.
284
00:16:49,751 --> 00:16:53,585
It's... It's something...
It's-It's like an "H," right?
285
00:16:55,423 --> 00:16:59,359
It's more like an "H" with a "W"
in the middle of it...
286
00:16:59,427 --> 00:17:01,657
and a "T" on the side.
287
00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:03,720
I'm sorry, Mary.
You're still in charge.
288
00:17:03,798 --> 00:17:07,734
- And will you stop looking like that.
- Like what?
289
00:17:07,802 --> 00:17:10,464
Like that. Like a poster
for Radio Free Europe.
290
00:17:10,538 --> 00:17:13,564
Well, l... I suddenly
just feel so lonely.
291
00:17:13,641 --> 00:17:16,132
Turn on the TV.
292
00:17:18,246 --> 00:17:20,407
That's always good company.
293
00:17:22,817 --> 00:17:25,980
Add the yolks of three eggs,
half a cup of walnuts...
294
00:17:27,221 --> 00:17:29,314
Makes a wonderful
late-night snack.
295
00:17:29,390 --> 00:17:32,052
He's doing recipes?
296
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:35,695
I'll hurry.
297
00:17:37,532 --> 00:17:42,060
Yes, ladies and gentlemen,
it's still Turner: 85; Mitchell: 23.
298
00:17:42,136 --> 00:17:45,105
But I'm sure our phone lines
will be repaired soon...
299
00:17:45,173 --> 00:17:48,040
and we'll have some
new results.
300
00:17:48,109 --> 00:17:51,772
With luck, maybe right
after this next commercial.
301
00:17:51,846 --> 00:17:53,780
And cut!
302
00:17:55,516 --> 00:17:57,450
Ted, are you all right?
303
00:17:57,518 --> 00:17:59,884
You... you're doing this to me.
304
00:17:59,954 --> 00:18:02,047
I'm gonna find you
some help.
305
00:18:03,691 --> 00:18:05,625
Murray, he needs somebody
to talk to.
306
00:18:05,693 --> 00:18:08,753
Don't look at me.
I don't even talk to him at parties.
307
00:18:08,930 --> 00:18:10,093
Who we gonna get?
308
00:18:10,194 --> 00:18:12,294
What about him?
He's already in makeup.
309
00:18:12,366 --> 00:18:15,602
Thank heaven.
That must be the political analyst.
310
00:18:15,670 --> 00:18:18,662
- Doctor?
- Father.
311
00:18:18,740 --> 00:18:21,470
- Doctor Father?
- Father Flint.
312
00:18:21,542 --> 00:18:25,034
Well, I'm very pleased to meet you.
I wasn't expecting to meet a priest.
313
00:18:25,113 --> 00:18:27,240
It's my turn to do sermonette.
314
00:18:27,315 --> 00:18:30,751
Oh. Father, we're having
a little trouble here.
315
00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:33,412
I know, I know.
316
00:18:33,488 --> 00:18:37,982
I haven't seen a man
suffer like that since Job.
317
00:18:38,059 --> 00:18:42,086
- Would you consider going on with him?
- I'd be delighted.
318
00:18:42,163 --> 00:18:45,792
- I've always wanted to do a talk show.
- Thank you, Father.
319
00:18:47,034 --> 00:18:49,332
Ted, we've got some help.
320
00:18:49,404 --> 00:18:52,100
What's he doing here?
Do I look that bad?
321
00:18:53,875 --> 00:18:57,140
Relax, my dear boy.
You're going to be all right.
322
00:18:57,211 --> 00:19:00,510
Where's my close-up camera?
Am I on my mark here?
323
00:19:00,581 --> 00:19:04,312
In the chair, Father.
Coming out of commercial. Stand by.
324
00:19:04,385 --> 00:19:07,980
Good luck, Ted. It's gonna be fine.
And, Father, thank you.
325
00:19:09,357 --> 00:19:11,621
Stand by! Action!
326
00:19:13,394 --> 00:19:15,794
Back again,
ladies and gentlemen.
327
00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:19,060
We're fortunate to have
an old friend drop by to say hello...
328
00:19:19,133 --> 00:19:21,465
while our phone lines
are being repaired.
329
00:19:21,536 --> 00:19:24,334
I'd like you to meet
Father... Father...
330
00:19:24,405 --> 00:19:28,535
- What's your name?
- Father Flint.
331
00:19:28,609 --> 00:19:30,702
Father Flint.
332
00:19:30,778 --> 00:19:32,871
Tell me, Padre...
333
00:19:36,517 --> 00:19:41,112
Now that you're here, I'm sure
our viewers would like to know.
334
00:19:45,660 --> 00:19:48,254
How long have you been
interested in religion?
335
00:19:52,533 --> 00:19:56,560
Did you hear the one about the minister
and the rabbi and the priest...
336
00:19:56,637 --> 00:19:59,765
who all decided to play golf
one election day?
337
00:19:59,841 --> 00:20:03,174
Yes, Father,
about a half hour ago.
338
00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:05,474
I see it's time
for another commercial.
339
00:20:05,546 --> 00:20:08,379
Oh, oh. Ted and I
will be right back...
340
00:20:08,449 --> 00:20:10,383
after this important message.
341
00:20:10,451 --> 00:20:12,385
And cut!
342
00:20:16,123 --> 00:20:19,149
It's going just fine, Ted.
Really fine.
343
00:20:19,227 --> 00:20:23,254
I think you're gonna have to find
someone to take Father Flint's place.
344
00:20:23,331 --> 00:20:27,791
Poor man. He seemed to have lost a lot
of his wind after they sang "Danny Boy."
345
00:20:27,902 --> 00:20:31,394
Listen, everybody. Channel 3
just predicted Turner a winner...
346
00:20:31,472 --> 00:20:34,908
and signed off!
347
00:20:34,976 --> 00:20:38,878
All we have to do is declare Turner
a winner, and we can all go home.
348
00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:41,779
- No, hold it. Hold it just a minute.
- What was that?
349
00:20:41,849 --> 00:20:43,840
That was,
"Hold it just a minute."
350
00:20:43,918 --> 00:20:46,580
We can't go on with that information.
It's not official.
351
00:20:46,654 --> 00:20:51,091
- It's official enough for me.
- Murray, no. We have an obligation.
352
00:20:51,158 --> 00:20:53,626
Mary, all those people
out there are sleeping.
353
00:20:53,694 --> 00:20:56,458
I feel no obligation
to sleeping people.
354
00:20:56,531 --> 00:20:58,761
Well, I'm sure at least
Turner and Mitchell aren't sleeping.
355
00:20:58,833 --> 00:21:01,301
It wouldn't be right.
It would be dishonest.
356
00:21:01,369 --> 00:21:04,497
- Who is she?
- Who are you anyway?
357
00:21:04,572 --> 00:21:07,405
Rhoda, I feel very strongly about this.
It would be wrong.
358
00:21:07,475 --> 00:21:10,410
It wouldn't be so bad.
359
00:21:10,478 --> 00:21:14,005
- Hey, what more do you need?
- Coming out of commercial. Stand by.
360
00:21:14,081 --> 00:21:16,743
I am going to declare
a winner now.
361
00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:19,911
Ted, Ted, look. I know you're dead tired
and you wanna go home.
362
00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:23,286
We all wanna go home, but I cannot
let you make this announcement.
363
00:21:23,357 --> 00:21:25,689
I'm going to declare
a winner now.
364
00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:28,126
Ted, if you declare
a winner now,
365
00:21:28,195 --> 00:21:30,288
you're fired.
366
00:21:30,364 --> 00:21:32,662
Stand by, everybody!
367
00:21:32,733 --> 00:21:34,325
And action!
368
00:21:34,402 --> 00:21:36,370
Welcome back,
gentlemen ladies.
369
00:21:36,437 --> 00:21:38,803
It looks like...
370
00:21:43,411 --> 00:21:45,971
Turner: 85;
Mitchell: 23.
371
00:21:47,748 --> 00:21:51,844
And we'll stay right here until we
get all the facts to declare a winner.
372
00:21:51,919 --> 00:21:55,480
Oh, I see Gordie the weatherman
just stopped in to say hello.
373
00:21:55,556 --> 00:21:59,652
He's gonna tell us all about what makes
it snow right after this commercial.
374
00:21:59,727 --> 00:22:01,592
And cut!
375
00:22:02,797 --> 00:22:04,992
Congratulations, kid.
How'd you do it?
376
00:22:05,066 --> 00:22:07,364
I don't know.
I just opened my mouth,
377
00:22:07,435 --> 00:22:10,302
and "you're fired"
just came out.
378
00:22:10,371 --> 00:22:13,568
I guess I'm not so bad
at being in charge after all.
379
00:22:13,641 --> 00:22:16,838
Say, Rhoda, aren't you supposed to
be in back of that board right now?
380
00:22:16,911 --> 00:22:19,072
I don't feel like it.
381
00:22:20,414 --> 00:22:23,042
Oh, Tom, I wonder,
could I talk to you...
382
00:22:23,117 --> 00:22:25,551
Later. I'm busy.
383
00:22:25,620 --> 00:22:28,453
But I'm supposed to be...
in charge.
384
00:22:44,338 --> 00:22:47,535
And so I decided
to pack my bags...
385
00:22:47,608 --> 00:22:51,669
and leave New York City
and come here to Minneapolis.
386
00:22:51,746 --> 00:22:54,408
People ask me,
"Why Minneapolis?"
387
00:22:54,482 --> 00:22:56,746
And I replied,
"Why not?"
388
00:22:58,085 --> 00:23:00,519
Oh, I see it's time
for a commercial.
389
00:23:00,588 --> 00:23:03,648
Ted and I will be right back
after this brief message.
390
00:23:03,724 --> 00:23:05,658
And cut!
391
00:23:09,964 --> 00:23:12,899
And what did you do
after you got to Minneapolis?
392
00:23:12,967 --> 00:23:15,902
- Ted, we're off the air.
- Oh, are we?
393
00:23:15,970 --> 00:23:19,167
- Yeah.
- Would you lead me to the water?
394
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:21,174
I think I'm thirsty.
395
00:23:21,242 --> 00:23:23,836
Of course.
396
00:23:23,911 --> 00:23:25,845
Steady now. Come on.
397
00:23:27,581 --> 00:23:30,812
Hi. Hey, what's going on here?
398
00:23:30,885 --> 00:23:34,616
Say, aren't you...
Are you Chuckles the Clown?
399
00:23:34,689 --> 00:23:36,782
No, no, I'm Walter Cronkite.
400
00:23:38,325 --> 00:23:41,761
- How did you get through the snowstorm?
- I took the bus.
401
00:23:41,829 --> 00:23:44,593
It quit snowing about an hour ago.
Listen.
402
00:23:44,665 --> 00:23:48,260
How come you're still on the air?
I have to go on in half an hour.
403
00:23:48,335 --> 00:23:51,964
- We're waiting for the returns.
- Haven't you heard?
404
00:23:52,039 --> 00:23:55,566
- We haven't heard anything.
- Oh, for crying out loud.
405
00:23:56,644 --> 00:23:59,238
"Mitchell wins it.
Turner concedes."
406
00:23:59,313 --> 00:24:02,111
- Turner...
- Mitchell won it, not Turner.
407
00:24:02,183 --> 00:24:04,208
- Mm-hmm.
- Chuckles, listen.
408
00:24:04,285 --> 00:24:06,879
Ted is not really
in any condition to go on.
409
00:24:06,954 --> 00:24:09,980
Would you go on and announce
the winner so we can all go home?
410
00:24:10,057 --> 00:24:12,890
Chuck-a-luck-a-bunky-wuck!
Would I ever!
411
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:15,224
Just point Mr. Camera at me.
412
00:24:15,296 --> 00:24:17,628
Coming out of commercial.
413
00:24:17,698 --> 00:24:19,666
And action!
414
00:24:19,734 --> 00:24:22,532
Hi, boys and girls!
415
00:24:22,603 --> 00:24:26,562
Our new mayor is
Mr. Mitchell!
416
00:24:27,875 --> 00:24:30,605
So let's all give him
a really colossal...
417
00:24:30,678 --> 00:24:34,409
Chuckles the Clown Club cheer!
418
00:24:34,482 --> 00:24:36,541
Chuck-a-luck!
Chuck-a-luck!
419
00:24:36,617 --> 00:24:39,177
Chuck-a-luck-luck-luck-luck-a-chuck!
Luck-a-chuck!
420
00:24:39,253 --> 00:24:42,586
Luck-chuck-chuck!
421
00:24:44,458 --> 00:24:48,890
Mary, when I put somebody in charge,
I never second-guess 'em.
422
00:24:48,963 --> 00:24:50,731
That's my policy.
423
00:24:50,798 --> 00:24:55,394
So I'm never gonna ask you why you
put Ted Baxter in a clown suit.
35366
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