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1
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:48,297
No answer.
2
00:00:48,716 --> 00:00:50,876
- Must be out shopping.
- God forbid.
3
00:00:51,301 --> 00:00:52,431
Why do you say that?
4
00:00:52,511 --> 00:00:56,351
No reason. It's just something men
say when they talk about their wives.
5
00:00:56,432 --> 00:00:58,732
One guy says, "She must be out shopping."
6
00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:00,938
The other guys says, "God forbid."
7
00:01:02,938 --> 00:01:05,308
- It's a joke.
- Oh.
8
00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:29,956
So what do you make of all this, Bob?
9
00:01:30,549 --> 00:01:33,929
- What do you mean?
- How's it feel to be out on the road?
10
00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:37,972
I can see
where it could be tiring.
11
00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:40,175
Yeah, there's a lot to this job.
12
00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:43,641
You'd never know it,
but there's a lot to it.
13
00:01:53,864 --> 00:01:55,994
You seem to have been at this a long time.
14
00:01:57,242 --> 00:01:58,662
Tell you the truth, Bob,
15
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:03,503
I feel like I've been shaking somebody's
hand one way or another my entire life.
16
00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:06,919
- You're very good at it.
- Well, thank you, Bob.
17
00:02:07,002 --> 00:02:08,672
I mean, judging from what I hear.
18
00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:11,167
Don't qualify it, Bob.
19
00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:24,854
- What time you got?
- Quarter to 5.
20
00:02:24,937 --> 00:02:26,647
Hmm. Wonder if Larry got in?
21
00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:30,730
- Don't you carry a watch?
- The world is full of clocks, Bob.
22
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:35,032
Clocks and mirrors.
It's a damn conspiracy.
23
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:37,993
Not that it matters to me anymore.
24
00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:40,575
All my chances have come and gone
a long time ago.
25
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,115
Why do you say that?
26
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:44,620
Oh, I'm not complainin'.
27
00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:48,751
Everybody peaks somewhere.
People find their niche.
28
00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:51,053
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
29
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:54,130
Uh, how old are you?
30
00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:56,470
If you don't mind me asking.
31
00:02:56,552 --> 00:02:57,642
I'm 52.
32
00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:04,347
Your secretary said
you looked distinguished.
33
00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:05,768
She did?
34
00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:07,693
She said your face had character.
35
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,358
I will give her
the benefit of the doubt
36
00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:13,480
and assume that she meant that
in a favorable vein.
37
00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:21,283
Sometimes I wonder what
I'll look like when I get to be your age.
38
00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:24,449
Tear my heart out, Bob.
39
00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:27,918
- Oh, no. That's not what I meant.
- That's okay.
40
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,590
I've heard tell of people
living well into their 60s.
41
00:03:31,003 --> 00:03:32,303
I only hope it's true.
42
00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:36,668
A-All I mean is,
I wonder how a person attains character.
43
00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:39,343
Whether it's something
that you're born with
44
00:03:40,012 --> 00:03:41,932
that kind of reveals itself
over time, or...
45
00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:44,981
whether you have
to go through certain things.
46
00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:47,726
I never think about it.
47
00:03:48,604 --> 00:03:51,234
For all I know, I could have
a face full of character
48
00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:52,395
and not even know it.
49
00:03:53,859 --> 00:03:55,359
You think?
50
00:03:56,153 --> 00:03:57,863
It's a two-edged sword, Bob.
51
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,159
So how long
you been with the company?
52
00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:02,867
Six months.
53
00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:05,448
- Straight out of school?
- Yeah.
54
00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:07,791
Well, a word of advice:
55
00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:11,537
It's never too early to start thinking
about where you want to end up.
56
00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:14,249
- It's a lot to think about.
- Yes, it is.
57
00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:18,507
Pretty soon somebody's gonna be handing
you a cake with 40 candles on it.
58
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,259
Maybe 50.
59
00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:24,308
Bunch of people are gonna jump out
of a closet and yell, "Surprise!"
60
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:28,060
Like it's something you haven't been
thinking about every waking moment.
61
00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:40,613
- What's that you're reading?
- Penthouse.
62
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,282
Oh.
63
00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:45,865
- Wanna borrow it when I'm done?
- No, thanks.
64
00:04:46,662 --> 00:04:49,372
- You don't want it?
- No, I don't read magazines like that.
65
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:50,456
Oh.
66
00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:53,383
Are you one of those that believe
that magazines
67
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:54,780
like this shouldn't be published?
68
00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:57,375
I'm one of those who believe
they shouldn't be purchased.
69
00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:00,716
That was a very clever answer, Bob.
70
00:05:01,677 --> 00:05:03,337
I just said what I thought.
71
00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:06,218
That's what I mean.
you did it without thinking.
72
00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:09,603
Which leads me to believe
you could have a career in marketing.
73
00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:22,735
What's your wife say
about you reading magazines like that?
74
00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:28,785
It's not my wife's concern.
75
00:05:30,414 --> 00:05:31,414
It's not?
76
00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:33,290
No.
77
00:05:34,710 --> 00:05:35,960
We're divorced.
78
00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:39,799
Mind if I ask you what the problem was?
79
00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:44,343
Maybe you better try your wife again, Bob.
80
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:46,345
Sure.
81
00:05:47,264 --> 00:05:50,894
I just have a real hard time imagining
what it must be like to get a divorce.
82
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:53,598
The picture becomes perfectly clear...
83
00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:55,859
after a very short period of time.
84
00:05:58,608 --> 00:05:59,898
Believe me, Bob.
85
00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:07,120
Oh, excuse me.
86
00:06:08,952 --> 00:06:11,055
- How're you doin'?
- Pretty good. How 'bout yourself?
87
00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:12,829
Can't complain. What floor?
88
00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:15,214
That depends on where you're headed
with all this food.
89
00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:16,292
Fifteen.
90
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,130
- Hospitality suite.
- Yeah.
91
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,302
Hmm, me too. On 16.
92
00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:23,127
Oh, yeah.
93
00:06:41,777 --> 00:06:42,777
This is it?
94
00:06:42,861 --> 00:06:43,861
Hi, Larry.
95
00:06:44,362 --> 00:06:46,112
This is fucking it?
96
00:06:47,199 --> 00:06:49,739
What do you mean, "This is fucking it"?
Of course it's it.
97
00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:50,656
What'd you expect?
98
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:53,084
Phil, buddy,
the operative word was "suite."
99
00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:56,423
Hospitality suite, not Hospitality closet.
100
00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:58,000
There's no room in here.
101
00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:59,995
I did... It's the best I could do.
102
00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:02,667
Where do you expect people to stand,
out in the hall?
103
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:05,626
What are you bitching about?
It's on the 16th floor.
104
00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:06,717
Look at the view.
105
00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:10,432
Phil, man, we're in Wichita, Kansas.
106
00:07:10,514 --> 00:07:13,724
What does it matter whether we're on
the first floor or the 500th floor?
107
00:07:13,809 --> 00:07:15,019
It all looks the same.
108
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:17,022
Well, then next time
you make the arrangements.
109
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:19,154
Murdoch would have had a room
four times this size.
110
00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:20,981
Oh, yeah? Well, Murdoch's not here, is he?
111
00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:22,316
You can say that again.
112
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:26,453
At least we have something to jump off of
when nobody shows.
113
00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:27,360
Fuck you, Larry.
114
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,777
See? That's what I get
for having aesthetic values.
115
00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:31,696
Foul language thrown in my face.
116
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:34,289
You know Bob from research?
117
00:07:34,371 --> 00:07:36,331
Sure, I know Bob.
How you doing there, Bob?
118
00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:37,254
Hi.
119
00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:38,712
He's on the phone to his wife.
120
00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:41,673
I only hope his wife
does most of the talking.
121
00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:43,883
We've got to conserve
What little oxygen we have.
122
00:07:48,844 --> 00:07:49,844
What is this?
123
00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:52,348
What does it look like?
124
00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:54,470
- You tell me.
- It's hors d'oeuvres.
125
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,890
You call these hors d'oeuvres?
126
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,060
Don't start with me, alright, Larry?
127
00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:01,396
Phil, buddy, these are not hors d'oeuvres.
128
00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:03,522
I don't know what that is.
129
00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:06,528
Carrot sticks, celery sticks,
couple of ranch dressing
130
00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:08,201
and an overgrown cheese ball?
131
00:08:08,530 --> 00:08:11,240
This... This whole thing was
spur-of-the-moment, you know it.
132
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,344
Do you know what
the tool and dye outfit is serving?
133
00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:15,198
I don't know and I don't wanna know.
134
00:08:15,287 --> 00:08:18,407
Shrimp, my friend. Jumbo shrimp on ice.
135
00:08:18,874 --> 00:08:22,044
Oysters on the half shell.
All these weird kind of French cheeses.
136
00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:23,587
These little puff pastries.
137
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:26,210
That's hors d'oeuvres, Phil,
my friend of many years.
138
00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:28,776
Not this. Downstairs they wouldn't let
a celery stick near the place.
139
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,236
They'd make you check it at the door.
140
00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:33,510
- Well, then go eat downstairs tonight.
- Well, I just might have to.
141
00:08:33,597 --> 00:08:35,967
Jesus Christ!
Bob, can you believe this?
142
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:40,853
Looks okay to me.
143
00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:43,687
Well, that's exactly my point.
You don't know anything.
144
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:46,731
No offense, but how many
of these things have you been to?
145
00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:48,528
- Just one.
- This one, right?
146
00:08:48,612 --> 00:08:51,032
- Yeah.
- Yeah, that's what I thought.
147
00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:53,204
Who knows, Phil?
Maybe we'll get lucky
148
00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:56,443
and everyone that walks through the door
tonight will be a first-timer like Bob.
149
00:08:58,705 --> 00:08:59,745
Is there a problem?
150
00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:02,750
No. There's no problem.
151
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:08,379
Oh, catching up
on your technical reading there, Phil?
152
00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:09,875
Mind your own business, Larry.
153
00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:12,126
Yeah, I'm not condemning.
I'm just saying I noticed.
154
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:15,009
You should have seen the girl
that sat next to me on the plane.
155
00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:17,426
- Pretty?
- I should say so, and built,
156
00:09:17,515 --> 00:09:20,095
and... Wearing a business suit.
157
00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:23,685
That's right.
You like 'em in business suits.
158
00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:26,982
There's something about a woman
in a business suit that drives me wild.
159
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,987
It's as if they're all tied up
in this neat little package
160
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,900
just waiting for someone to come along
161
00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:34,408
and pull the cord
that sets everything free.
162
00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:36,701
A woman in a business suit
is my idea of art.
163
00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:38,615
What about you, Bob?
164
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:40,743
What kind of woman's attire
gets your motor running?
165
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,040
I'm sure I couldn't tell you.
166
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:45,125
No favorites, huh?
167
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,745
Uh, I try not to think about it.
168
00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:51,799
You try not?
169
00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:54,258
I'm married.
170
00:09:54,344 --> 00:09:56,064
Of course you're married.
We're all married.
171
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,596
Even Phil was married at one time.
172
00:09:57,681 --> 00:09:59,841
I'm just asking you in which direction
your tastes run.
173
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,603
I... I don't know.
174
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,103
Oh.
175
00:10:05,397 --> 00:10:07,897
Let me, uh, ask you
a question there, Bob, seriously.
176
00:10:07,983 --> 00:10:09,653
- What's that?
- Are you gay?
177
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:12,105
- Larry!
- What? I'm just asking.
178
00:10:12,195 --> 00:10:14,465
He seems to be missing one of the
fundamental characteristics
179
00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:15,489
of the American male,
180
00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:18,162
which I could understand if he were,
you know, but you're not.
181
00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:19,553
I mean, at least you think you...
182
00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:20,577
Aren't you married?
183
00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:24,160
I just see no reason
to let my eyes go wandering
184
00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:27,129
when God's given me
a wonderful woman to be my wife.
185
00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:30,166
Oh, I see.
You're a spiritual man, then.
186
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:31,960
That's a part of it.
187
00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:34,344
So do they blind you
when you get saved, do they?
188
00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:37,473
Jesus said if you look at
a woman with lust,
189
00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:39,034
it's the same as committing adultery.
190
00:10:39,597 --> 00:10:40,597
He did?
191
00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:43,679
He must have never seen a woman
in a business suit.
192
00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:44,848
If he had, who knows?
193
00:10:44,936 --> 00:10:46,497
We might have
a different kind of religion,
194
00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:48,191
one where lusting is a sacrament.
195
00:10:52,444 --> 00:10:55,654
Hey! I thought you weren't interested
in my hors d'oeuvres.
196
00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:58,699
I'm just tasting, Phil.
I'm not actually partaking.
197
00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:00,783
I'm just gonna make sure
that nobody's gonna gag.
198
00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:03,248
Well, don't eat the whole thing up.
199
00:11:04,372 --> 00:11:06,082
You know why you're here,
don't you, Bob?
200
00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,750
No. Not exactly.
201
00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:12,295
Jesus Christ. No wonder this company
is spiraling into the shit can.
202
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:15,222
You're here for cosmetic purposes, Bob.
203
00:11:16,259 --> 00:11:17,259
What do you mean?
204
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:19,264
You're here to represent research.
205
00:11:19,721 --> 00:11:23,181
Technical support.
The brains of the company.
206
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:25,388
- Me?
- Absolutely.
207
00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:27,805
But I don't have that much experience.
208
00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:30,306
That doesn't matter.
You, as a person, don't really matter.
209
00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:31,568
It's what you represent.
210
00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:34,317
Am I supposed to be doing anything?
211
00:11:34,402 --> 00:11:37,702
Nope. Just stand there and look wise,
or sit. It's entirely up to you.
212
00:11:38,782 --> 00:11:40,072
You'll do fine, Bob.
213
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:43,370
Jeez, I hope so.
214
00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:46,582
You know, when you think about it,
to tell the truth,
215
00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:48,825
Nobody's really here.
216
00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:51,917
You think you see people walkin' around
those hallways? You don't.
217
00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:54,046
What you see is functions.
218
00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:56,259
That's the nature of a convention.
219
00:11:59,010 --> 00:12:00,390
What Larry means is,
220
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:04,604
if you look at it in the standpoint
of why we're here,
221
00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:07,518
what we are is more important
than who we are.
222
00:12:09,312 --> 00:12:10,942
Well, that seems kind of impersonal.
223
00:12:11,022 --> 00:12:12,652
Of course it's impersonal, Bob.
224
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:15,152
Why do you think they hold conventions
in places like this?
225
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:18,815
Is there anything about this place
that smacks of personality to you?
226
00:12:21,032 --> 00:12:22,372
Still, it seems a shame.
227
00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:24,284
It's not a shame, Bob.
228
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,928
So who do they have you
working for these days?
229
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:42,220
Uh, Professor Young.
230
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:43,804
Jim Young?
231
00:12:44,222 --> 00:12:45,222
Yeah. You know him?
232
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:46,932
We've met.
233
00:12:47,851 --> 00:12:49,771
- Tremendous guy.
- Oh, really?
234
00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:51,228
How so?
235
00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:55,439
He's got... what, 20, 30 patents?
236
00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:58,112
I think he's even
a deacon in his church.
237
00:12:58,194 --> 00:13:00,114
And all that makes him tremendous?
238
00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:02,105
Well, the patents alone.
239
00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:05,987
Listen, Bob, no offense. I can see
that you admire the man and all.
240
00:13:06,077 --> 00:13:09,037
But let me tell you a little something
about Jim Young.
241
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:10,212
What's that?
242
00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:11,918
He's an idiot!
243
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,535
- What?
- He's a moron, Bob.
244
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:16,337
I wouldn't trust the guy to wax my car.
245
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:17,881
How can you say that?
246
00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:18,964
I've met him, remember?
247
00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:21,402
I've gotten an earful of Jim Young
on more than one occasion.
248
00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:24,176
I can tell you for a fact
the guy is full of shit.
249
00:13:24,262 --> 00:13:27,222
Well, I don't think so
and I work with him every day.
250
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:29,307
Well, maybe you just don't know
what to look for.
251
00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:31,352
Maybe I just have different standards.
252
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:42,566
Listen, Bob. You got a minute?
I wanna tell you something.
253
00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:44,531
Sure.
254
00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:47,367
There are people in this world, Bob,
255
00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:51,372
who look very official,
while they're doing, what they're doing.
256
00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:52,536
And do you know why?
257
00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:53,670
Why?
258
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:55,430
Because they don't know
what they're doing.
259
00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:56,812
Because if you know what you're doing,
260
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,898
you don't have to look like
you know what you're doing.
261
00:13:58,922 --> 00:14:00,802
- It comes naturally. You follow me?
- Sure.
262
00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:05,431
Okay, so now, do you know
how you can tell the difference?
263
00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:07,102
No.
264
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,850
All right, the way you tell is...
265
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:12,522
A little voice pops up
in the back of your mind
266
00:14:12,602 --> 00:14:16,192
to say that this guy who's sitting before
me, or she,
267
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:19,822
is lying through his teeth
and telling me stories.
268
00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:22,648
Now, once you get
that little piece of information,
269
00:14:23,655 --> 00:14:24,655
what do you do?
270
00:14:24,739 --> 00:14:26,989
Uh, I don't know.
271
00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:28,525
Here's what I would do.
272
00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:34,209
I would say, "Buddy, I've heard
a lot of horseshit in my time",
273
00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:35,610
"'cause God knows I'm a salesman"
274
00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:39,037
"and we all have to wade through our share
of the snow to get to the cabin,"
275
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:43,008
"but you... take the cake."
276
00:14:43,925 --> 00:14:47,085
"I don't believe you have the first idea
what you're talking about."
277
00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:49,218
"Your children admire you, I'm sure,"
278
00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:51,095
"as we all hope they do."
279
00:14:51,182 --> 00:14:53,022
"And maybe your wife doesn't know,"
280
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:54,560
"but I know."
281
00:14:55,436 --> 00:14:58,106
"And my knowledge forces me
to call you on the fact"
282
00:14:58,189 --> 00:15:02,319
"that you are a goddamn cock-sucking liar
from the word go!"
283
00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:06,992
And then I would sit down
and finish my soup.
284
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:15,080
You would not.
285
00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:17,464
Phil, have you
or have you not ever heard
286
00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:19,712
or seen me doing
what we were just talking about?
287
00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:21,378
Yes.
288
00:15:21,462 --> 00:15:22,712
There, you see?
289
00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:26,427
That's why there's hope, Bob,
because there's people like me who listen.
290
00:15:27,218 --> 00:15:29,848
- When was this?
- what do you mean, "when"?
291
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:33,179
Are you doubting a man that sits there
reading Penthouse to expand his mind?
292
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,636
Are you gonna question that?
293
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:39,649
It was a couple years ago. We were
having lunch with a purchasing agent.
294
00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:41,815
You see?
295
00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:44,609
- And you actually said that?
- Word for word.
296
00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:46,324
It was not word for word.
297
00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:49,907
In principle, Phil.
298
00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:52,661
I'm speaking to the boy in principle
because after all,
299
00:15:52,744 --> 00:15:55,954
he's a bright young man and he understands
the meaning of a concept.
300
00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,040
So what happened?
301
00:15:59,334 --> 00:16:00,424
What do you think happened?
302
00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:02,381
What would you expect to have happen?
303
00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:07,299
- The guy got angry.
- The guy got furious.
304
00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:11,513
He just sat there through the rest
of the meal fuming, not saying a word.
305
00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:13,306
Did you lose the account?
306
00:16:15,183 --> 00:16:17,813
Of course we lost the account.
307
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:21,364
Bob, you can't speak to a man like that
and expect to keep the account.
308
00:16:21,439 --> 00:16:22,939
And if you do...
309
00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:27,324
If you say that to a man
and he puts down his fork
310
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:29,821
and he says, "Bob..."
311
00:16:31,783 --> 00:16:33,283
"you are absolutely right."
312
00:16:34,702 --> 00:16:38,712
"I have been faking like I know what I'm
talking about from the moment I sat down,"
313
00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:39,870
"and I'm sorry."
314
00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:43,712
"Not to you, because I don't owe you
anything, but to myself."
315
00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:47,510
"Because I want to be the best human being
I can possibly be,"
316
00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:51,216
"and I want to be honest above all else."
317
00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:55,074
Well, then you forget about the account,
you forget about everything.
318
00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:57,058
You shave your head,
you put on a saffron robe,
319
00:16:57,141 --> 00:16:59,351
you sell pictures of this guy
at the airport,
320
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:02,845
because he has no fear
and he's just proved it.
321
00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:05,364
He deserves to be worshipped.
322
00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:13,949
Wow.
323
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:18,251
"Wow" is right, Bob.
"wow" sums it up quite nicely.
324
00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:21,622
I mean, I can't believe
you actually said that.
325
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:24,078
- Do yourself a favor, Bob.
- What's that?
326
00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:26,918
- Don't ever become one of those people.
- No, I wouldn't.
327
00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:30,054
I don't want to have to confront you
at lunch one day like that other guy,
328
00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:33,143
but I will, for your own good,
because I like you.
329
00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:35,804
Sure.
330
00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:43,308
- You all right, Bob?
- Yeah. I just need to use the restroom.
331
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,249
Want me to fix you something
while you're on the throne?
332
00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:46,773
No, thanks. I just need to go.
333
00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:02,207
- Who wound you up?
- Nobody wound me up.
334
00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:03,790
I'm just excited, that's all.
335
00:18:03,875 --> 00:18:06,245
We're gonna do some
business tonight, Phil.
336
00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:10,455
There's business in the air.
Do you smell it?
337
00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:12,758
It's the kind of air that makes
account ledgers grow.
338
00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:15,932
There's only one account ledger
that matters to us tonight.
339
00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:18,312
We're gonna get that one too.
You watch.
340
00:18:18,973 --> 00:18:21,143
Fuller's gonna come walking
through that door.
341
00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:23,095
He's gonna take one look around.
342
00:18:23,186 --> 00:18:25,936
He will be so overwhelmed
343
00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:29,862
with the fact
that he's on the 16th floor overlooking
344
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:34,282
all of Wichita, like some ancient king
surveying his fiefdom.
345
00:18:34,405 --> 00:18:38,445
Larry predicts, that he will say,
"You talk to me about moxie?"
346
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:42,044
"Anybody with the aesthetic wherewithal"
347
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,751
"to pick this, of all places,
for a hospitality suite"
348
00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:47,582
"must certainly have
the right line of industrial lubricants"
349
00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:48,998
"for my plant in Gary."
350
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:53,665
"What would it take to get you guys
to sell me everything you could make?"
351
00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:58,008
"How much can I pay you personally,
as a bribe?"
352
00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:03,017
- He's gonna say all that, is he?
- Word for word.
353
00:19:03,684 --> 00:19:06,904
You know what I'm gonna say to him?
"Mr. Fuller, you are absolutely right.
354
00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:10,939
"We do have the right line of industrial
lubricants for your application,
355
00:19:11,025 --> 00:19:14,315
"and I personally would be proud
to handle the account myself.
356
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:17,573
"But there is one thing I ask of you,
as a favor,
357
00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:20,334
to help us get better acquainted."
358
00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:23,789
- What's that?
- That you take me as your concubine.
359
00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:25,871
Or Phil, if you think he's better looking.
360
00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:28,668
You really think he's gonna go for us?
361
00:19:28,751 --> 00:19:30,671
- He has to, Phil.
- What if he doesn't?
362
00:19:30,753 --> 00:19:32,383
- If he doesn't go for us?
- Yeah.
363
00:19:32,463 --> 00:19:34,623
Then I think what we do is;
We get up tomorrow morning,
364
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:37,094
we pack our bags,
we catch the breakfast flight home,
365
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,886
we wander into the office
around half past 2,
366
00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:42,926
and then we hang ourselves
in the bathroom by our tie.
367
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:46,057
Do you know what he looks like?
368
00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:48,143
- No. You?
- I haven't the foggiest.
369
00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:49,855
What about Bob?
370
00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:52,519
Bob. How's Bob gonna know
what he looks like?
371
00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:53,961
Oh, yeah. Well, it doesn't matter.
372
00:19:53,985 --> 00:19:55,905
That's one of the great things
about conventions.
373
00:19:56,237 --> 00:19:58,677
All God's children wear name tags,
especially a guy like this.
374
00:19:58,739 --> 00:20:00,489
He probably had one
specially made in neon.
375
00:20:00,575 --> 00:20:03,025
"Dick Fuller". You know, "President."
376
00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:05,199
"Nickname: El Kahuna Grande."
377
00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:08,160
I'm only hoping
he's wearing a ring I can kiss.
378
00:20:12,295 --> 00:20:16,085
- Phil, what is that?
- It's a coat rack.
379
00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:18,553
I know it's a coat rack.
What's it doing in here?
380
00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:19,474
It's for coats.
381
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:22,682
Who the hell's gonna bring a coat?
We're all in the same damn hotel.
382
00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:25,075
Get it out of here. There's little enough
room in here as it is.
383
00:20:25,099 --> 00:20:26,389
I wanted to be prepared.
384
00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:29,138
If I don't have a coat rack,
you're gonna say,
385
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,058
"Phil, where's the coat rack?"
386
00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:34,186
Now we know where it is.
It's out in the hall.
387
00:20:37,862 --> 00:20:39,152
Is he all right in there?
388
00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:41,952
- I don't think he's feeling very well.
- Really? How come?
389
00:20:43,993 --> 00:20:45,083
Maybe it's nerves.
390
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:48,709
Or maybe he just couldn't
take the likes of you.
391
00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:49,619
What?
392
00:20:49,707 --> 00:20:52,067
Especially when you come at him
with both barrels like that.
393
00:20:53,127 --> 00:20:55,837
What, me?
Nah, I was just talkin' to him.
394
00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:58,012
- He's a good kid.
- 'Course he's a good kid.
395
00:20:58,090 --> 00:21:00,010
I wouldn't waste my time
with him if he wasn't.
396
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,802
That's the last thing I need to do
397
00:21:01,886 --> 00:21:04,386
is grease another asshole
for the lubricant industry.
398
00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:12,596
Besides, he reminds me
of you in a lot of ways.
399
00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:14,648
No, he doesn't.
He reminds you of yourself.
400
00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:17,032
Yeah, but I take after you,
so it all works out.
401
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:20,109
I don't want any of these bozos
making long-distance calls.
402
00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:22,029
Well, take it off the bill.
403
00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:30,004
Or who knows?
Maybe he's just basking in the experience.
404
00:21:30,081 --> 00:21:33,081
- Going to the bathroom?
- Yeah. Have you been in there yet?
405
00:21:33,167 --> 00:21:35,127
- No. Why?
- It's terrific, man.
406
00:21:35,211 --> 00:21:37,131
It's the only thing I like about this
place.
407
00:21:37,213 --> 00:21:39,303
They got a spotlight over the john.
408
00:21:39,382 --> 00:21:41,932
That and there's mirrors on three sides,
409
00:21:42,009 --> 00:21:44,969
so you can actually watch yourself
wiping your own ass.
410
00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:47,638
Is that a major goal of yours?
411
00:21:47,723 --> 00:21:49,368
Well, I think it's something everybody
should experience
412
00:21:49,392 --> 00:21:50,682
at least once in their lifetime.
413
00:21:50,768 --> 00:21:52,728
Do you realize what
the ancient kings of Egypt
414
00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:55,362
would have given if they'd been able
to watch themselves
415
00:21:55,439 --> 00:21:56,769
wiping their own asses?
416
00:21:56,857 --> 00:21:59,777
Plenty! But they couldn't
because the technology was unavailable.
417
00:22:00,277 --> 00:22:02,987
- They had mirrors.
- Oh, hand mirrors, Phil.
418
00:22:03,072 --> 00:22:04,532
Little bitty jobs.
419
00:22:04,615 --> 00:22:07,945
You try watching yourself
wiping your own ass with a hand mirror.
420
00:22:08,035 --> 00:22:09,865
You might...
You can't see anything.
421
00:22:09,954 --> 00:22:11,874
You might as well
be watching somebody else.
422
00:22:11,956 --> 00:22:16,536
No, no, no. To do it right you need
the full-fledged wall-to-Wall mirrors.
423
00:22:16,627 --> 00:22:18,627
Then you get the total picture.
424
00:22:19,005 --> 00:22:21,066
Reminds you you're not much different than
anybody else
425
00:22:21,090 --> 00:22:23,680
when it comes down to it.
Gives you a sense of humility.
426
00:22:23,759 --> 00:22:25,219
Whatever you say.
427
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:29,930
Oh! The door is jammed.
428
00:22:30,016 --> 00:22:33,516
- I put a call in.
- Oh, Christ.
429
00:22:35,646 --> 00:22:37,686
Hey, you feelin' any better, Bob?
430
00:22:44,613 --> 00:22:47,163
Yeah. Just, uh,
just a little queasy is all.
431
00:22:47,450 --> 00:22:49,780
What? Did Phil have you working
on the floor all day?
432
00:22:49,869 --> 00:22:51,119
Some of it.
433
00:22:52,246 --> 00:22:55,076
- Workin' the booth?
- Uh, yeah.
434
00:22:55,791 --> 00:22:57,921
No wonder. You should've told him
to go fuck himself.
435
00:22:58,002 --> 00:22:59,212
I hate workin' the booth.
436
00:23:00,171 --> 00:23:02,851
- I thought it was kind of interesting.
- There's no closet in here.
437
00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:06,430
That's why I got the coat rack.
438
00:23:06,510 --> 00:23:09,260
Yeah, well, anything's interesting
for a while, Bob.
439
00:23:10,222 --> 00:23:12,472
Dental surgery is interesting
for a while,
440
00:23:12,558 --> 00:23:14,428
But some things get old in a hurry.
441
00:23:17,021 --> 00:23:19,651
- It's somethin' that has to be done.
- Ah! Well!
442
00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:25,154
There you are, Bob.
Words handed down from on high.
443
00:23:25,237 --> 00:23:27,407
It's something
that has to be done.
444
00:23:28,741 --> 00:23:30,911
Larry, let me bum a cigarette off you.
445
00:23:30,993 --> 00:23:33,243
Well, you could ordinarily, Phil,
but not anymore.
446
00:23:33,329 --> 00:23:36,079
- I gave it up.
- You did not.
447
00:23:36,165 --> 00:23:37,825
- I swear to God.
- When?
448
00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:40,877
Couple of months ago. And you would too,
if you knew what was good for you.
449
00:23:40,961 --> 00:23:42,711
Fuck you, Larry. You're not my wife.
450
00:23:44,590 --> 00:23:46,260
You're right, Phil. I'm not your wife.
451
00:23:46,759 --> 00:23:48,969
And it's good of you to point that out
452
00:23:49,053 --> 00:23:52,143
because, as close as we are,
I sometimes forget.
453
00:23:52,848 --> 00:23:55,327
You know, Bob's got more sense
than the two of us put together.
454
00:23:55,351 --> 00:23:57,662
You've never smoked a cigarette
in your life, have you, Bob?
455
00:23:57,686 --> 00:23:58,556
No, I haven't.
456
00:23:58,646 --> 00:24:00,726
I bet you don't drink much either, do ya?
457
00:24:01,482 --> 00:24:02,822
An occasional beer now and then.
458
00:24:02,900 --> 00:24:04,860
- Yeah, but nothin' hard, right?
- No.
459
00:24:04,944 --> 00:24:06,324
And correct me if I'm wrong,
460
00:24:06,403 --> 00:24:08,663
But I'm willing to bet...
I'd even lay money...
461
00:24:08,739 --> 00:24:10,239
that never in your life
462
00:24:10,324 --> 00:24:13,084
have you walked into a strip joint,
walked up on the stage,
463
00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:14,763
grabbed the dancer,
threw her down on the ground
464
00:24:14,787 --> 00:24:16,707
and fucked her brains out,
in front of everybody.
465
00:24:17,832 --> 00:24:21,252
- I never what?
- Jesus Christ, Larry.
466
00:24:21,335 --> 00:24:23,085
Just answer the question, yes or no.
467
00:24:24,588 --> 00:24:27,798
No. I... I've never even been near
a place like that.
468
00:24:27,883 --> 00:24:30,445
See, that's what I was saying.
you oughta apply for sainthood, Bob
469
00:24:30,469 --> 00:24:33,615
Competition's not as stiff as it used to
be. You got a good chance of gettin' in.
470
00:24:33,639 --> 00:24:34,929
- You Catholic?
- No.
471
00:24:35,015 --> 00:24:36,765
- Episcopalian?
- No.
472
00:24:36,851 --> 00:24:38,231
- What then?
- Uh, Baptist.
473
00:24:40,062 --> 00:24:41,562
Oh, well, that is a problem.
474
00:24:41,647 --> 00:24:43,750
But they must have something like that,
shouldn't they?
475
00:24:43,774 --> 00:24:45,961
For people who go through their
whole lives without doing anything.
476
00:24:45,985 --> 00:24:47,525
Not as far as I know.
477
00:24:47,611 --> 00:24:49,951
Well, damn it.
Then it's time to change religions, Bob.
478
00:24:50,030 --> 00:24:52,425
Go someplace you're appreciated,
where there's a chance to move up.
479
00:24:52,449 --> 00:24:53,829
You let me know if it happens.
480
00:24:53,909 --> 00:24:55,199
You'll be the first.
481
00:24:55,286 --> 00:24:56,366
Remember it was my idea.
482
00:24:56,453 --> 00:24:59,503
I get dibs on the concessions:
Little plastic statues, things like that.
483
00:24:59,582 --> 00:25:00,502
Where are you going?
484
00:25:00,583 --> 00:25:03,213
I'm gonna run down to the bar.
I'll be right back.
485
00:25:04,628 --> 00:25:05,838
I'll go with you.
486
00:25:06,714 --> 00:25:08,974
Uh, no, no. You better stay here.
487
00:25:09,383 --> 00:25:11,343
Have to have somebody
keep their eye on Larry,
488
00:25:11,427 --> 00:25:13,137
make sure he doesn't
sublet the joint.
489
00:25:13,596 --> 00:25:15,556
When you're there,
why don't you stop on 15?
490
00:25:15,639 --> 00:25:18,119
And see what it's like with people
who know what they're doing.
491
00:25:18,184 --> 00:25:20,104
That is, if you can live with the shame.
492
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:23,230
And bring me back some shrimp!
493
00:25:26,525 --> 00:25:27,525
What a nut.
494
00:25:28,903 --> 00:25:30,823
- Him or you?
- Him.
495
00:25:31,322 --> 00:25:32,572
The guy cracks me up.
496
00:25:32,656 --> 00:25:35,486
He's not the one I would exactly
call a nut around here.
497
00:25:35,576 --> 00:25:37,156
That's just because you don't know him.
498
00:25:37,244 --> 00:25:38,584
You want a carrot stick, Bob?
499
00:25:38,871 --> 00:25:40,581
How long have you
and he worked together?
500
00:25:40,664 --> 00:25:42,374
That depends on what you mean.
501
00:25:42,458 --> 00:25:44,378
- Do you want a carrot stick, Bob?
- No, thanks.
502
00:25:45,211 --> 00:25:48,051
Well, in geologic time, we just met.
503
00:25:48,130 --> 00:25:50,170
However, in dog years, we go way back.
504
00:25:51,258 --> 00:25:52,428
How 'bout human years?
505
00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:58,010
- Human years?
- Yeah.
506
00:25:59,934 --> 00:26:02,064
We've known each other a while.
Why do you ask?
507
00:26:02,144 --> 00:26:06,024
- He strikes me as an interesting guy.
- Oh, that's one hell of a guy.
508
00:26:06,899 --> 00:26:09,229
Bob, if you're looking
for somebody to admire, pick Phil.
509
00:26:09,318 --> 00:26:11,318
Not that asshole Jim Young.
510
00:26:12,112 --> 00:26:13,612
How long has he been divorced?
511
00:26:16,492 --> 00:26:18,832
I don't think he is officially,
I think it's still pending.
512
00:26:18,911 --> 00:26:20,831
But don't quote me
'cause I don't really know.
513
00:26:21,205 --> 00:26:23,455
I think it's a shame
he has to get divorced.
514
00:26:24,917 --> 00:26:26,577
Well, he doesn't have to, Bob.
515
00:26:26,669 --> 00:26:29,379
I mean, he's making a choice
to gain something.
516
00:26:29,797 --> 00:26:32,627
- Like what?
- His freedom, I guess.
517
00:26:33,384 --> 00:26:35,934
Still, it seems like an awful lot
to give up.
518
00:26:36,011 --> 00:26:38,261
Well, sometimes, Bob,
you gotta chew your leg off
519
00:26:38,347 --> 00:26:39,887
to get out of life's traps.
520
00:26:41,141 --> 00:26:42,141
I guess.
521
00:26:51,902 --> 00:26:54,652
Phil's gone through a lot of changes
in the last couple of years,
522
00:26:54,738 --> 00:26:56,158
And I don't just mean the divorce.
523
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:58,280
Really? How so?
524
00:26:58,867 --> 00:27:00,447
Well, he used to be a...
525
00:27:02,162 --> 00:27:03,162
I don't know.
526
00:27:04,415 --> 00:27:07,285
One day he'd be ridin' the clouds,
the world was a beautiful place,
527
00:27:07,376 --> 00:27:09,496
And he was just happy to be in it, and...
528
00:27:10,087 --> 00:27:11,087
the next day,
529
00:27:11,171 --> 00:27:13,971
you wouldn't even know
you were talkin' to the same person.
530
00:27:14,049 --> 00:27:15,929
It was like somebody
let the air out of him.
531
00:27:17,136 --> 00:27:20,886
You got the impression that at any moment
he could pull out a gun and shoot himself.
532
00:27:21,432 --> 00:27:23,312
And even then,
he was real personable.
533
00:27:23,767 --> 00:27:24,767
He just...
534
00:27:25,602 --> 00:27:28,152
I don't know. I got the feeling that
something inside of him
535
00:27:28,230 --> 00:27:29,650
had kind of... collapsed.
536
00:27:30,316 --> 00:27:33,036
- What can I get you?
- Change for the cigarette machine.
537
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:41,080
Crown Royal on the house.
Poured one too many.
538
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:44,330
- No, thanks.
- It's all right, really.
539
00:27:44,830 --> 00:27:47,500
No, no, thank you.
Just the change. Thanks.
540
00:27:58,010 --> 00:27:59,930
Things you don't know
about a person.
541
00:28:00,012 --> 00:28:02,642
That's why God gave us
eyes and ears, to find out,
542
00:28:02,723 --> 00:28:05,643
except for some things
that are none of our goddamn business.
543
00:28:08,395 --> 00:28:09,395
Sure.
544
00:28:09,897 --> 00:28:11,557
Ask me whatever you want about Phil.
545
00:28:11,648 --> 00:28:14,478
I'll be glad to tell you,
if I think you're being sincere.
546
00:28:15,069 --> 00:28:17,069
But... don't ask him.
547
00:28:17,154 --> 00:28:19,784
He's been through a lot.
He doesn't need to be pressed.
548
00:28:32,127 --> 00:28:35,207
- How long have you been married, Bob?
- Six months.
549
00:28:36,215 --> 00:28:39,215
- You love your wife?
- Do I love my wife?
550
00:28:40,344 --> 00:28:41,344
Why wouldn't I?
551
00:28:41,804 --> 00:28:45,474
Well, people get married
for a lot of different reasons, Bob.
552
00:28:46,100 --> 00:28:48,140
You seem like
a real principled guy to me.
553
00:28:48,227 --> 00:28:49,227
So?
554
00:28:50,562 --> 00:28:53,942
Well, I've known people.
I'm not saying you're one of them.
555
00:28:54,024 --> 00:28:56,864
It's just I've known them
who were real principled,
556
00:28:56,944 --> 00:29:00,784
and then they met somebody else
who was real principled,
557
00:29:00,864 --> 00:29:02,574
and then the two of them got married,
558
00:29:03,992 --> 00:29:07,042
only to find out one day
it was their principles that got married.
559
00:29:07,538 --> 00:29:09,998
Two of them
just kind of came along for the ride.
560
00:29:11,792 --> 00:29:12,792
Oh.
561
00:29:13,919 --> 00:29:16,839
Love has a lot of counterfeits,
Bob, not to get too deep.
562
00:29:17,923 --> 00:29:18,923
Sure.
563
00:29:24,388 --> 00:29:26,808
Hey, speak of the devil,
where's my shrimp?
564
00:29:29,476 --> 00:29:31,476
Eat a carrot
if you're so goddamned hungry.
565
00:29:32,187 --> 00:29:33,347
Have a cheese ball.
566
00:29:34,523 --> 00:29:37,023
I don't want any cheese ball, alright.
I want some shrimp.
567
00:29:37,109 --> 00:29:39,399
Then call room service and get some.
568
00:29:39,945 --> 00:29:41,585
I would, but I don't want
to embarrass you
569
00:29:41,655 --> 00:29:42,882
in front of the boy.
570
00:29:42,906 --> 00:29:45,156
Believe me, Larry,
as long as I've known you,
571
00:29:45,242 --> 00:29:49,332
nothing you could possibly say or do,
could ever embarrass me in the least.
572
00:29:49,413 --> 00:29:51,623
You see what I have to put up with?
Twelve years now.
573
00:29:51,748 --> 00:29:54,168
But one day, no more.
I'm comin' to work with an Uzi!
574
00:29:54,251 --> 00:29:56,591
You're gonna read about us
in the newspapers the next day.
575
00:29:56,670 --> 00:30:00,670
- You sure I can't fix you something, Bob?
- Yeah, maybe just a cola.
576
00:30:02,926 --> 00:30:04,586
- Give me an ashtray.
- All right..
577
00:30:04,678 --> 00:30:07,848
How 'bout you, Phil? What'll you have,
a Black Russian? Martini with a twist?
578
00:30:09,933 --> 00:30:12,603
- I'll have a 7Up.
- A 7Up?
579
00:30:13,687 --> 00:30:15,307
7Up with a twist of lime.
580
00:30:15,939 --> 00:30:17,439
You feelin' all right there, Phil?
581
00:30:18,150 --> 00:30:20,860
- I quit drinking.
- You did? When?
582
00:30:21,445 --> 00:30:22,445
Recently.
583
00:30:23,572 --> 00:30:25,622
Well, I'll be a son of a bitch.
584
00:30:26,116 --> 00:30:27,576
I don't smoke, you don't drink,
585
00:30:27,659 --> 00:30:29,949
and Bob here, wouldn't think about
lusting after a woman.
586
00:30:30,037 --> 00:30:33,207
Between the three of us,
we're practically Jesus.
587
00:30:35,209 --> 00:30:37,209
Which reminds me,
who's gonna bar tend tonight?
588
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:39,840
- I figured Bob would.
- Me?
589
00:30:39,922 --> 00:30:40,922
Yeah. You mind?
590
00:30:41,006 --> 00:30:44,006
Like I said, I'm not accustomed
to drinking hard liquor.
591
00:30:44,968 --> 00:30:46,678
Nobody's asking you to drink it, Bob.
592
00:30:46,762 --> 00:30:49,562
- We're asking you to serve it.
- I won't know what I'm doing.
593
00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:51,743
It doesn't matter, Bob.
All you do is pour stuff in a glass.
594
00:30:51,767 --> 00:30:53,267
See? Now you know bar-tending.
595
00:30:53,894 --> 00:30:55,984
What about the formulas?
596
00:30:57,523 --> 00:31:00,233
Formulas. They're called recipes.
597
00:31:00,317 --> 00:31:02,527
We'll send out for a book. That's all.
598
00:31:02,986 --> 00:31:05,066
What if somebody wants something exotic?
599
00:31:05,155 --> 00:31:08,025
Oh, that's perfect.
The only reason people order exotic drinks
600
00:31:08,116 --> 00:31:09,656
is to show how sophisticated they are.
601
00:31:09,743 --> 00:31:11,971
If they have to tell you how to mix it,
it's all the better.
602
00:31:11,995 --> 00:31:13,056
It makes them feel like experts.
603
00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:15,160
Plus Larry and I are gonna
have our hands full.
604
00:31:16,500 --> 00:31:18,210
Well, the brains of the company will try.
605
00:31:18,293 --> 00:31:20,713
That's all we ask for, Bob,
is that you try.
606
00:31:21,588 --> 00:31:24,668
Gentlemen, here's to the profound,
religious experience
607
00:31:24,758 --> 00:31:26,428
that comes from doing a job well
608
00:31:26,510 --> 00:31:29,850
- and being grossly underpaid.
- Happy days.
609
00:31:30,472 --> 00:31:32,102
- Happy Jesus.
- Happy...
610
00:31:32,432 --> 00:31:33,432
Amen.
611
00:31:37,729 --> 00:31:39,457
What time is this thing
supposed to start tonight?
612
00:31:39,481 --> 00:31:40,481
Seven.
613
00:31:40,691 --> 00:31:41,691
You hungry?
614
00:31:43,026 --> 00:31:45,356
- I could probably eat, I guess.
- What do you feel like?
615
00:31:46,196 --> 00:31:47,816
Maybe we oughta go on downstairs.
616
00:31:48,407 --> 00:31:50,385
Yeah, that's what we'll do
That's exactly what we'll do.
617
00:31:50,409 --> 00:31:52,989
We'll go downstairs,
we'll fill our bellies full of hotel food.
618
00:31:53,078 --> 00:31:55,288
We'll oogle the waitresses
a little... or not.
619
00:31:56,206 --> 00:31:59,456
And then we'll come back up here
and we'll show Bob the ropes.
620
00:31:59,543 --> 00:32:03,173
We'll teach him what it's like
to do business.
621
00:32:04,673 --> 00:32:05,763
I'm looking forward to it.
622
00:32:05,841 --> 00:32:07,801
You think you're ready
for the big time, Bob?
623
00:32:07,884 --> 00:32:10,014
Well, I guess
there's only one way to find out,
624
00:32:10,387 --> 00:32:12,927
that's to throw me in the water,
see if I can swim.
625
00:32:13,015 --> 00:32:14,742
Oh, I think you're missing
the point here, Bob.
626
00:32:14,766 --> 00:32:17,726
We're about to throw you off a cliff
and see if you can fly.
627
00:32:18,770 --> 00:32:21,560
- You got a tag on your pants.
- I just bought it.
628
00:32:21,648 --> 00:32:23,001
Take the little strings off.
629
00:32:23,025 --> 00:32:24,935
Jesus Christ.
You got any scissors?
630
00:32:46,798 --> 00:32:48,668
The brains
of the company will try.
631
00:32:48,759 --> 00:32:52,089
You are saved!
You are saved!
632
00:32:53,263 --> 00:32:54,723
Drinks on the house!
633
00:33:03,607 --> 00:33:04,607
There you go!
634
00:33:04,691 --> 00:33:08,151
We save with Jesus!
Drinks for everyone on the house.
635
00:33:08,236 --> 00:33:10,566
Line 'em up.
Line 'em up, boys and girls.
636
00:33:10,656 --> 00:33:11,656
You need a light?
637
00:33:19,289 --> 00:33:22,419
- So...
- Yeah, you want a Gin Fixer.
638
00:33:22,501 --> 00:33:24,961
Did you say Gin Buck or Gin Fix?
639
00:33:28,340 --> 00:33:30,090
It's...
640
00:33:31,843 --> 00:33:33,143
What did you want?
641
00:33:33,595 --> 00:33:36,755
Uh... I'll give you this, some of this.
642
00:34:04,584 --> 00:34:05,584
Phil?
643
00:34:06,753 --> 00:34:09,053
Phil, Phil, Phil!
Do you know what time it is?
644
00:34:09,673 --> 00:34:12,013
- I'm sure you're gonna tell me.
- It's 9:30!
645
00:34:12,092 --> 00:34:12,932
So what?
646
00:34:13,009 --> 00:34:15,238
What do you mean, "So what?"
We started at 7. He's not coming!
647
00:34:15,262 --> 00:34:16,262
He said he'd be here.
648
00:34:16,346 --> 00:34:18,586
Well, he's kidding, because he's not here.
He's not here.
649
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:21,640
- Well, what do you want me to do?
- Act a little concerned.
650
00:34:22,519 --> 00:34:23,519
I'm concerned.
651
00:34:23,603 --> 00:34:25,813
Oh, really?
'Cause you hide it really, really well.
652
00:34:27,399 --> 00:34:30,649
Well... just... have faith,
653
00:34:31,236 --> 00:34:32,236
would ya?
654
00:34:32,904 --> 00:34:33,904
Just once.
655
00:34:35,866 --> 00:34:37,736
Have fa... Ha...
656
00:34:40,454 --> 00:34:42,584
Have faith.
657
00:35:13,862 --> 00:35:15,402
Hey, thanks a lot, buddy.
658
00:35:24,372 --> 00:35:26,792
This is the finest champagne...
659
00:35:54,027 --> 00:35:55,527
That son of a bitch...
660
00:35:56,571 --> 00:36:00,411
talked to me about basketball
for nearly two hours.
661
00:36:01,243 --> 00:36:02,793
And all he did was exhibit
662
00:36:02,869 --> 00:36:05,119
that he doesn't know
the first thing about the game.
663
00:36:06,623 --> 00:36:09,253
What? You think you can get me
a smaller glass?
664
00:36:09,334 --> 00:36:12,844
- How 'bout a little thimble or somethin'?
- They're all dirty.
665
00:36:14,631 --> 00:36:15,631
Give me that bottle.
666
00:36:17,551 --> 00:36:19,391
That's what I love about these things.
667
00:36:19,469 --> 00:36:21,009
It kills me about these things...
668
00:36:21,096 --> 00:36:25,346
Is that you get a guy
away from his wife for a couple days.
669
00:36:25,767 --> 00:36:27,767
You pour a couple of drinks into him,
670
00:36:27,853 --> 00:36:33,153
He, all of a sudden, becomes
the world's foremost expert on sports.
671
00:36:33,233 --> 00:36:36,403
That's why God created wives, Bob.
672
00:36:37,654 --> 00:36:41,664
So that they could show men
when they're bein' assholes.
673
00:36:41,741 --> 00:36:44,161
I mean, you get a guy away
from his wife,
674
00:36:44,744 --> 00:36:46,124
for any length of time,
675
00:36:47,789 --> 00:36:50,079
and he hasn't the first idea
how to behave.
676
00:36:51,626 --> 00:36:52,626
Take it from me.
677
00:36:52,711 --> 00:36:56,711
The Bible said God created Eve
as a help mate.
678
00:36:58,466 --> 00:37:01,756
- As a what?
- A helper.
679
00:37:02,262 --> 00:37:03,722
Suitable to meet his needs.
680
00:37:04,514 --> 00:37:08,484
I don't know anything about that, Bob,
but what I do know is this:
681
00:37:09,227 --> 00:37:12,227
God created women to be mirrors,
682
00:37:12,314 --> 00:37:15,194
so a man could see what an ass he is.
683
00:37:17,027 --> 00:37:18,897
I mean, you talk to me about souls?
684
00:37:21,197 --> 00:37:25,117
A man does not know
what his soul looks like.
685
00:37:25,785 --> 00:37:28,995
Hasn't any idea what his soul looks like
686
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:33,750
until he gazes into the eyes of the woman
that he's married to.
687
00:37:33,835 --> 00:37:36,995
And then, if he's any kind
of decent human being,
688
00:37:38,006 --> 00:37:39,966
he spends the next
couple days throwin' up.
689
00:37:41,885 --> 00:37:45,095
Because no man, no honest man,
690
00:37:45,180 --> 00:37:46,310
can stand that image.
691
00:37:47,057 --> 00:37:49,767
Go ahead, take your shoes off
and be comfortable. Everybody's gone.
692
00:37:52,687 --> 00:37:54,647
I thought you said
you didn't like being married.
693
00:37:56,066 --> 00:37:57,396
Well, I didn't,
694
00:37:58,818 --> 00:38:00,898
But that doesn't mean
I don't recommend it.
695
00:38:03,823 --> 00:38:07,663
There's a lot of things in this life, Bob,
that are good for you...
696
00:38:07,744 --> 00:38:09,414
that are not necessarily pleasant.
697
00:38:09,996 --> 00:38:11,366
Like circumcision.
698
00:38:17,295 --> 00:38:20,795
Well, it's about time.
Where the hell have you been?
699
00:38:20,882 --> 00:38:22,972
What do you mean,
where the hell have I been?
700
00:38:23,051 --> 00:38:25,591
While you've been sittin' here,
strokin' every swingin' dick
701
00:38:25,679 --> 00:38:27,179
that walked through that door,
702
00:38:27,263 --> 00:38:29,683
I've been in search
of the Grand Kahuna!
703
00:38:31,643 --> 00:38:34,233
- The what?
- The savior, Bob.
704
00:38:34,312 --> 00:38:36,062
ฮl Presidente.
705
00:38:36,147 --> 00:38:40,107
The man who, with one small utterance,
one tiny ejaculation of sound,
706
00:38:40,193 --> 00:38:42,243
could make this company big with child.
707
00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:43,570
Did you find him?
708
00:38:46,074 --> 00:38:48,534
Phil, use your intuition here
for a second.
709
00:38:48,618 --> 00:38:52,748
Use that God-given gift you have
for smelling out the truth of a situation.
710
00:38:52,831 --> 00:38:54,831
Do I look as though I found him?
711
00:38:54,916 --> 00:38:57,166
- No.
- Good. You still have it.
712
00:38:57,252 --> 00:38:59,002
Who are you guys talking about?
713
00:39:00,088 --> 00:39:03,758
We're talking about the Grand Kahuna, Bob.
714
00:39:03,842 --> 00:39:06,512
The great white wha... Did you ever read
The Old Man and the Sea?
715
00:39:06,594 --> 00:39:08,724
- No.
- Oh well then forget about it.
716
00:39:08,805 --> 00:39:11,595
We're talking about a man
who represents, as an entity...
717
00:39:12,225 --> 00:39:14,635
the largest single account
this company has
718
00:39:14,728 --> 00:39:16,438
or probably ever would have seen.
719
00:39:16,521 --> 00:39:18,611
- Potential account.
- Oh, potential yeah.
720
00:39:18,690 --> 00:39:20,860
It's good of you to point that out, Phil.
Potential!
721
00:39:21,818 --> 00:39:22,858
What could have been.
722
00:39:22,944 --> 00:39:24,824
Because it was our job, compadres,
723
00:39:24,904 --> 00:39:28,784
to turn that potentiality into reality,
to have it show up in the coffers,
724
00:39:28,867 --> 00:39:30,447
to court this gentleman,
725
00:39:30,535 --> 00:39:33,745
to promise him favors, if necessary,
to get him on our side.
726
00:39:33,830 --> 00:39:36,170
But did we succeed in this regard
or did we fail?
727
00:39:36,249 --> 00:39:37,369
Let's see a show of hands.
728
00:39:39,294 --> 00:39:40,544
We'll be all right.
729
00:39:40,628 --> 00:39:42,298
Yeah, of course we'll be all right.
730
00:39:43,089 --> 00:39:46,719
Once they drag our bodies from the river
and send our spirits to the moon.
731
00:39:46,801 --> 00:39:48,761
Then, sure.
It's the intermediate stuff, Phil.
732
00:39:48,845 --> 00:39:51,385
It's the actual process
of being skinned alive and set fire to.
733
00:39:51,473 --> 00:39:53,643
That's the difficult part.
The rest is duck soup.
734
00:39:55,185 --> 00:39:57,185
You had to go searching for this guy?
735
00:39:59,564 --> 00:40:01,234
We had to, Bob.
736
00:40:01,316 --> 00:40:04,356
We weren't supposed to,
but yes, we had to.
737
00:40:04,444 --> 00:40:07,074
He was supposed to
have shown up here tonight.
738
00:40:07,155 --> 00:40:10,195
Someone was supposed to
have lured him up here for a drink.
739
00:40:10,283 --> 00:40:11,993
What are you lookin' at me for?
740
00:40:13,745 --> 00:40:15,365
I done my job.
741
00:40:17,874 --> 00:40:21,094
- You phoned him?
- You're goddamned right I phoned him.
742
00:40:21,169 --> 00:40:22,999
And you spoke to him direct?
743
00:40:26,674 --> 00:40:29,094
I talked to his secretary.
744
00:40:29,177 --> 00:40:31,297
He was on a long-distance call.
745
00:40:36,184 --> 00:40:38,484
She assured me that he'd be here.
746
00:40:38,561 --> 00:40:41,311
Oh, she assured you?
Guess what? She was joking!
747
00:40:41,397 --> 00:40:44,567
She probably had her secretary friends
gathered around the speaker phone saying,
748
00:40:44,651 --> 00:40:45,651
"watch this."
749
00:40:45,735 --> 00:40:47,605
I bet she does stand-up on the side.
750
00:40:48,113 --> 00:40:49,743
Something probably just happened.
751
00:40:51,783 --> 00:40:54,453
I think it's rather obvious
that something "happened."
752
00:40:54,994 --> 00:40:57,164
Maybe he just pulled up sick
at the last minute.
753
00:40:57,747 --> 00:40:59,747
Oh, no, no, he's here. He's here, alright.
754
00:40:59,833 --> 00:41:02,520
No, I've heard his name bandied about
all night long in the present tense.
755
00:41:02,544 --> 00:41:05,754
He's here, my friends.
He just isn't here!
756
00:41:06,172 --> 00:41:07,672
If you get my subtle nuance.
757
00:41:08,174 --> 00:41:09,174
Well...
758
00:41:10,260 --> 00:41:11,260
we just have to...
759
00:41:11,886 --> 00:41:13,636
figure out some other way, is all.
760
00:41:15,723 --> 00:41:17,023
Phil, are you deaf?
761
00:41:17,642 --> 00:41:18,812
We lost the man.
762
00:41:18,893 --> 00:41:21,483
He was invited, but he did not come.
763
00:41:21,980 --> 00:41:23,940
We're like the dinosaurs
when the climate changed.
764
00:41:23,982 --> 00:41:26,572
There is no longer any reason
for us to roam the earth.
765
00:41:28,236 --> 00:41:31,156
Why can't you just
schedule an appointment...
766
00:41:31,239 --> 00:41:32,949
and go and see him?
767
00:41:34,617 --> 00:41:36,595
You don't schedule
an appointment with this guy, Bob.
768
00:41:36,619 --> 00:41:39,329
He's the president.
He refers you to his people.
769
00:41:39,414 --> 00:41:40,914
So why not go see his people?
770
00:41:40,999 --> 00:41:43,289
Because they're all dildos,
every single one of 'em.
771
00:41:43,793 --> 00:41:46,843
Sometimes you have to
go past the smaller minds.
772
00:41:46,921 --> 00:41:49,801
You have to cozy up to someone
a little higher on the ladder who can say,
773
00:41:49,841 --> 00:41:51,971
"I would really like to try
some of this new product.
774
00:41:52,051 --> 00:41:55,101
Either buy some and try it
or get the fuck out because you're fired!"
775
00:41:55,763 --> 00:41:58,393
Gonna put another call into his secretary
in the morning.
776
00:42:00,518 --> 00:42:02,808
Phil, are you not hearing
a word I'm saying?
777
00:42:03,563 --> 00:42:06,573
I realize it's human nature to think
we stand another chance with this guy,
778
00:42:06,649 --> 00:42:07,769
but it's fantasy, man.
779
00:42:07,859 --> 00:42:10,739
We're gonna go back to Chicago tomorrow,
and Evans is gonna say,
780
00:42:10,820 --> 00:42:13,280
"Hey, Phil, Larry, Bob,
781
00:42:14,157 --> 00:42:15,447
"come into my office.
782
00:42:16,075 --> 00:42:17,325
"I have something for ya.
783
00:42:18,119 --> 00:42:19,119
"Bend over."
784
00:42:22,540 --> 00:42:25,580
So what do you think, Bob?
Do you wanna do this for a living?
785
00:42:26,127 --> 00:42:28,247
I don't know,
I thought it was kind of interesting.
786
00:42:28,338 --> 00:42:29,378
Oh, yeah? How so?
787
00:42:30,882 --> 00:42:33,012
You get to hear
a lot of interesting stories.
788
00:42:33,426 --> 00:42:35,336
That you do. They're far outweighed
789
00:42:35,428 --> 00:42:37,848
by the horse shit that flies
across the room all night long,
790
00:42:37,931 --> 00:42:39,891
but they're there
to listen for if you want.
791
00:42:39,974 --> 00:42:41,434
Are there always this many people?
792
00:42:41,517 --> 00:42:44,437
It just looked like a lot of people, Bob,
'cause the room's so damn small.
793
00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:45,440
Larry.
794
00:42:45,521 --> 00:42:47,441
Sorry, the carrot stick's
gone to my head.
795
00:42:50,026 --> 00:42:52,396
I met a guy who started
talking to me about dogs.
796
00:42:53,821 --> 00:42:54,951
What about dogs?
797
00:42:55,573 --> 00:42:57,283
Just that he's always owned one.
798
00:42:57,700 --> 00:43:01,450
He told me that one way or the other,
he's owned a dog his entire life,
799
00:43:02,247 --> 00:43:03,537
Most of them German Shepherds.
800
00:43:05,291 --> 00:43:07,671
That's not that unusual, Bob.
A lot of people have dogs.
801
00:43:08,419 --> 00:43:11,759
Oh, I know, but that got us started
on all sorts of things.
802
00:43:12,882 --> 00:43:16,132
Turns out he had to have his last one
put to sleep 'cause it bit someone.
803
00:43:16,219 --> 00:43:19,389
So then he started telling me about
the one before that...
804
00:43:20,098 --> 00:43:21,498
and the one before that.
805
00:43:21,808 --> 00:43:24,268
And before we knew it,
we traced his entire life...
806
00:43:24,686 --> 00:43:26,396
through this series of dogs.
807
00:43:27,897 --> 00:43:29,477
Mostly German Shepherds.
808
00:43:31,651 --> 00:43:33,491
I wish to hell Murdoch was here.
809
00:43:34,445 --> 00:43:35,445
Who's Murdoch?
810
00:43:37,657 --> 00:43:38,907
Dale Murdoch.
811
00:43:39,867 --> 00:43:43,787
The best damn marketing rep
this company has ever seen.
812
00:43:44,956 --> 00:43:46,416
God, Jesus, what a talent.
813
00:43:46,499 --> 00:43:49,249
- Successful?
- No, more than just successful, man.
814
00:43:49,335 --> 00:43:52,835
This guy... he had the gift.
815
00:43:52,922 --> 00:43:56,552
You know how, like, when you're watching
athletes do what they're doing.
816
00:43:56,634 --> 00:43:59,144
It's like they're remembering
something they've always known,
817
00:43:59,220 --> 00:44:00,739
instead of something they had to learn.
818
00:44:00,763 --> 00:44:03,203
That's what it was like with Murdoch,
except only with people.
819
00:44:03,808 --> 00:44:05,558
- Where is he now?
- Who, Murdoch?
820
00:44:05,643 --> 00:44:08,103
- Yeah.
- Oh, he's gone on to his great reward.
821
00:44:08,187 --> 00:44:09,017
Oh.
822
00:44:09,105 --> 00:44:11,395
Yeah, I heard he's down
in Florida somewhere.
823
00:44:11,482 --> 00:44:16,242
Last I heard, somebody said
that he had a whole chain of Burger Kings.
824
00:44:16,321 --> 00:44:19,571
I wouldn't doubt it if it was the biggest
goddamn chain in the state.
825
00:44:20,325 --> 00:44:22,775
But the days of Murdoch are behind us.
826
00:44:22,869 --> 00:44:25,039
Now it's the days of Larry and Phil.
827
00:44:25,121 --> 00:44:26,911
Phil and Larry and Bob,
828
00:44:26,998 --> 00:44:30,288
Three guys who are about
to be royally fucked up the ass.
829
00:44:31,169 --> 00:44:32,169
We'll be all right.
830
00:44:34,756 --> 00:44:36,206
You think so, huh?
831
00:44:36,799 --> 00:44:37,879
Sure.
832
00:44:37,967 --> 00:44:39,445
Well, I hope you're right, for our sake,
833
00:44:39,469 --> 00:44:41,864
because letting Mr. Fuller slip through
our fingers like this
834
00:44:41,888 --> 00:44:44,008
could be construed
as an act of incompetence.
835
00:44:44,098 --> 00:44:45,848
It makes us look pretty damn bad.
836
00:44:47,935 --> 00:44:50,595
- Did you say Fuller?
- Yeah.
837
00:44:51,522 --> 00:44:54,322
- Dick Fuller?
- Yeah. Dick, Richard.
838
00:44:54,734 --> 00:44:55,784
Why, you know him?
839
00:44:55,860 --> 00:44:58,150
That was the guy I was talking to.
840
00:44:59,572 --> 00:45:00,572
What are you... what?
841
00:45:00,656 --> 00:45:02,656
The guy with the dogs!
That was Dick Fuller.
842
00:45:03,201 --> 00:45:04,581
Oh, get out of here.
843
00:45:04,660 --> 00:45:07,120
No, I'm serious.
Look, he even gave me his card.
844
00:45:07,789 --> 00:45:10,669
- Oh, son of a bitch!
- Let me see it!
845
00:45:11,209 --> 00:45:13,169
I thought you checked
everybody's name tag.
846
00:45:13,252 --> 00:45:15,939
I did check everybody's name tag,
anybody that wasn't wearing a name tag,
847
00:45:15,963 --> 00:45:17,803
I came right out and said,
"what's your name?"
848
00:45:17,882 --> 00:45:20,182
- He wasn't wearing his name tag.
- What?
849
00:45:20,259 --> 00:45:22,799
No, he wasn't wearing his own.
I think it was someone else's.
850
00:45:23,763 --> 00:45:26,353
Why on earth would he be wearing
somebody else's name tag, Bob?
851
00:45:26,432 --> 00:45:29,522
Beats me. Looks like he had
a couple of drinks before he got here.
852
00:45:29,602 --> 00:45:30,892
Maybe he swapped it someone.
853
00:45:30,978 --> 00:45:32,664
I got the impression
he wanted to be left alone.
854
00:45:32,688 --> 00:45:34,188
He was awful broken up about the dog.
855
00:45:34,273 --> 00:45:37,533
I do not fuckin' believe this. We had
Dick Fuller right here within our grasp,
856
00:45:37,610 --> 00:45:39,490
but we let him
slip through our fingers!
857
00:45:39,904 --> 00:45:41,864
- Sorry.
- It's not your fault, Bob.
858
00:45:41,948 --> 00:45:43,868
We had him, we had him. He was ours.
859
00:45:43,950 --> 00:45:47,870
Next time, you ask people's names,
whether they're wearing badges or not.
860
00:45:47,954 --> 00:45:49,674
I'll give you
a little piece of information.
861
00:45:49,747 --> 00:45:51,577
There will be no next time for us,
my friend.
862
00:45:51,666 --> 00:45:54,836
We had Dick Fuller
within our sphere of influence,
863
00:45:54,919 --> 00:45:57,629
and we let him... Walk out of here
without hearing from us
864
00:45:57,713 --> 00:45:59,423
a word of what we had to say.
865
00:46:00,967 --> 00:46:01,967
We'll be all right.
866
00:46:02,051 --> 00:46:04,221
What did you guys talk about, Bob?
867
00:46:05,221 --> 00:46:07,061
Just... I don't know, stuff.
868
00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:10,810
Could you be a little more specific?
Did you talk sports, weather, what?
869
00:46:11,811 --> 00:46:13,151
Dogs mostly.
870
00:46:13,563 --> 00:46:14,733
That's it? Nothing else?
871
00:46:16,691 --> 00:46:20,281
That and stuff about our families.
He asked about my wife.
872
00:46:20,361 --> 00:46:21,821
- Your wife?
- Yeah.
873
00:46:21,904 --> 00:46:23,544
What did he want to know about your wife?
874
00:46:24,198 --> 00:46:25,908
Nothing, he just asked.
875
00:46:25,992 --> 00:46:28,372
Did you tell him he could have her
if he wanted,
876
00:46:28,453 --> 00:46:30,431
in consideration for throwing
a little business our way?
877
00:46:30,455 --> 00:46:31,455
Larry.
878
00:46:31,914 --> 00:46:34,044
Well, what?
What did you talk about, Bob?!
879
00:46:39,714 --> 00:46:42,634
Just... I don't know. Religion some.
880
00:46:43,676 --> 00:46:46,363
You talked to the president
of one of the largest manufacturing firms
881
00:46:46,387 --> 00:46:48,217
in all of the Midwest about religion?
882
00:46:49,098 --> 00:46:50,928
Is that who he is? I didn't know.
883
00:46:51,017 --> 00:46:53,187
Okay, wait, wait. What did you say to him?
884
00:46:53,269 --> 00:46:55,269
What exactly did you tell him
about religion?
885
00:46:58,191 --> 00:46:59,231
We just talked.
886
00:46:59,317 --> 00:47:01,147
- You didn't contradict him, did you?
- No.
887
00:47:01,235 --> 00:47:02,435
Well, thank God.
888
00:47:02,528 --> 00:47:04,590
That's the first rule about
talking religion at a convention
889
00:47:04,614 --> 00:47:06,074
is, "Do not contradict the client."
890
00:47:06,157 --> 00:47:08,067
No, I take that back.
That's the second rule.
891
00:47:08,159 --> 00:47:10,909
The first rule about talking religion
at a convention is "Don't."
892
00:47:10,995 --> 00:47:12,865
- Don't... Don't what?
- Don't do it.
893
00:47:12,955 --> 00:47:15,205
Well, we seem to have survived.
894
00:47:15,291 --> 00:47:17,711
- Did you contradict him?
- No.
895
00:47:17,793 --> 00:47:20,253
Well, then that's why, Bob.
That's the reason you survived.
896
00:47:21,631 --> 00:47:23,421
I thought it was a nice chat.
897
00:47:24,008 --> 00:47:28,348
How did you end up talking about religion
with Dick Fuller... in the first place?
898
00:47:29,514 --> 00:47:32,394
It just came up with the stories
of his dogs dying and all.
899
00:47:32,475 --> 00:47:34,265
You told him his dogs were in heaven?
900
00:47:34,852 --> 00:47:35,852
No.
901
00:47:35,937 --> 00:47:37,847
You told him his dogs were in hell?
902
00:47:37,939 --> 00:47:39,059
Of course not.
903
00:47:39,148 --> 00:47:42,028
Well, then what, Bob?
What exactly did you say to the man?
904
00:47:44,070 --> 00:47:45,530
We just... we started talking.
905
00:47:45,613 --> 00:47:47,913
The thing about the dogs
was just a lead-in.
906
00:47:48,449 --> 00:47:51,119
I mean, it got us talking
about life and death.
907
00:47:53,371 --> 00:47:55,711
It was a lead-in, Bob?
908
00:47:56,666 --> 00:47:57,666
Sure.
909
00:47:59,835 --> 00:48:01,745
Which implies, does it not,
that you were...
910
00:48:02,797 --> 00:48:06,877
looking for the opportunity
to talk about life and death?
911
00:48:06,968 --> 00:48:09,428
Sure, I-I guess so. Sure.
912
00:48:09,512 --> 00:48:13,642
No, don't say sure. It's not like "sure."
How am I supposed to know?
913
00:48:13,724 --> 00:48:17,024
Bob, I mean, most...
Most people, you know, don't go around
914
00:48:17,103 --> 00:48:20,313
looking for opportunities to strike up
conversations with total strangers
915
00:48:20,398 --> 00:48:23,228
about life and death and religion
and things of that ilk.
916
00:48:23,317 --> 00:48:26,027
- Some people do.
- Some people, yeah.
917
00:48:26,112 --> 00:48:28,992
I guess there's some people,
and apparently you're one of them.
918
00:48:29,073 --> 00:48:31,033
But most people, no, Bob.
Most people...
919
00:48:31,117 --> 00:48:32,657
If you ask about life and death,
920
00:48:32,743 --> 00:48:35,083
they say, "Hey, life is good.
Death is bad. The end."
921
00:48:35,162 --> 00:48:37,002
They don't go around
looking for opportunities.
922
00:48:37,665 --> 00:48:39,415
Well, then I guess I'm not most people.
923
00:48:40,459 --> 00:48:43,589
Bob, I... That's probably true.
I would say that's very safe to say.
924
00:48:44,630 --> 00:48:47,359
Look, I just think it's important
to let people know what you believe.
925
00:48:47,383 --> 00:48:49,303
Oh, Jesus Christ!
926
00:48:49,385 --> 00:48:52,295
If I had known that you were supposed to
get in touch with the guy,
927
00:48:52,388 --> 00:48:55,268
then I would have told you,
I would have alerted you somehow.
928
00:48:55,766 --> 00:48:57,056
It's not your fault, Bob.
929
00:48:58,561 --> 00:48:59,561
Phil!
930
00:49:01,606 --> 00:49:04,146
How was he to know?
He was just talkin' to the guy.
931
00:49:04,233 --> 00:49:07,533
Talkin' to the guy, yes.
But listening? No, I don't think so.
932
00:49:07,612 --> 00:49:10,742
At least not for the opportunities
to advance the interests of the company.
933
00:49:10,823 --> 00:49:14,163
Maybe if the conversation had stayed on
a more temporal plane,
934
00:49:14,243 --> 00:49:16,953
then just maybe, perhaps,
it might have worked itself around
935
00:49:17,038 --> 00:49:19,658
to the subject of where lubricants
might have been mentioned!
936
00:49:19,749 --> 00:49:20,749
You don't know that.
937
00:49:20,833 --> 00:49:23,213
Oh, come on. I think
the odds are a hell of a lot better,
938
00:49:23,294 --> 00:49:25,939
but as it was, the conversation
was not allowed to have a natural course,
939
00:49:25,963 --> 00:49:28,513
because somebody was at the helm
directing it. Am I right, Bob?
940
00:49:28,591 --> 00:49:31,181
Sounds to me like the guy just wanted
to be left alone.
941
00:49:31,594 --> 00:49:33,724
Well, that is not the point
and you know it.
942
00:49:33,804 --> 00:49:35,854
Phil's right.
He practically came out and said it.
943
00:49:35,931 --> 00:49:39,811
Well, guys, friends, compadres,
it was our task at hand
944
00:49:39,894 --> 00:49:42,694
to overcome that desire of his
for a little while,
945
00:49:43,064 --> 00:49:44,484
to garner his interest,
946
00:49:44,565 --> 00:49:47,355
and I submit to you
he did not want to be left alone.
947
00:49:47,443 --> 00:49:50,113
If he had, he would have stayed
in his hotel room all night long.
948
00:49:50,196 --> 00:49:52,174
He would not have gone
cruising the hospitality suites
949
00:49:52,198 --> 00:49:53,368
in search of conversation.
950
00:49:53,449 --> 00:49:55,449
I submit to you
he did not wish to be left alone,
951
00:49:55,534 --> 00:49:56,794
but only not to talk business.
952
00:49:56,869 --> 00:49:59,909
- In which case we're out of luck anyway.
- Oh, now, Phil. Come on.
953
00:49:59,997 --> 00:50:01,600
There's ways around that,
and you know it.
954
00:50:01,624 --> 00:50:04,544
Not to badger the man, but to let him know
what we came here to tell him.
955
00:50:04,627 --> 00:50:05,957
That's what I'm saying.
956
00:50:06,045 --> 00:50:07,045
I'm sorry.
957
00:50:07,088 --> 00:50:10,168
There's no good to be sorry, Bob.
It doesn't do us any good now.
958
00:50:10,257 --> 00:50:11,337
What else can I do?
959
00:50:11,425 --> 00:50:13,835
Nothing, there is nothing you can do now
at this juncture!
960
00:50:13,928 --> 00:50:14,928
Nothing.
961
00:50:24,021 --> 00:50:25,821
Did he happen to mention
where he was staying?
962
00:50:26,816 --> 00:50:28,066
Somewhere in the hotel.
963
00:50:28,150 --> 00:50:29,230
This hotel?
964
00:50:30,236 --> 00:50:31,236
Yes.
965
00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:33,910
What are you gonna do, Larry?
Bang on his door after midnight?
966
00:50:33,989 --> 00:50:36,385
I'm just asking. Is there a crime in that?
Because I'm thinking
967
00:50:36,409 --> 00:50:38,989
that maybe tomorrow morning we could...
you know,
968
00:50:39,078 --> 00:50:42,118
run into him in the coffee shop
downstairs accidentally.
969
00:50:42,206 --> 00:50:44,456
- We don't know what he looks like.
- Well, Bob does.
970
00:50:44,542 --> 00:50:45,962
I'd be willing to do that.
971
00:50:48,003 --> 00:50:50,673
What's all this business
on the back of his card, Bob?
972
00:50:51,632 --> 00:50:53,552
That's where he was going
after he left here.
973
00:50:53,634 --> 00:50:54,764
What, what, what?
974
00:50:54,844 --> 00:50:57,394
Some kind of private party
at the hotel down the street.
975
00:50:57,471 --> 00:50:59,351
Well, what are we doing here? Let's go!
976
00:50:59,432 --> 00:51:00,432
We can't.
977
00:51:00,516 --> 00:51:02,516
- Why not?
- It's by invitation only.
978
00:51:02,601 --> 00:51:03,441
So?
979
00:51:03,519 --> 00:51:05,979
So, I think he'd get mad
if we all showed up like that.
980
00:51:06,063 --> 00:51:07,983
He made a big point
about how private it was.
981
00:51:08,065 --> 00:51:10,895
That's the least of our worries.
If he gets mad, we'll deal with it.
982
00:51:10,985 --> 00:51:12,525
Come on. Grab your coats.
983
00:51:12,611 --> 00:51:14,861
- No, not so fast, Larry.
- What?
984
00:51:14,947 --> 00:51:16,777
I think Bob may be right.
985
00:51:16,866 --> 00:51:19,526
I mean, we don't want to
barge in on this guy.
986
00:51:19,618 --> 00:51:20,618
Phil!
987
00:51:20,703 --> 00:51:22,503
Well... Well, think about it.
988
00:51:22,580 --> 00:51:26,370
Do you really want to piss this guy off
by crashing some exclusive party,
989
00:51:26,459 --> 00:51:28,419
not to mention whoever else
might be there?
990
00:51:28,502 --> 00:51:30,814
What do you suggest we do?
Stand around here in a circle jerk
991
00:51:30,838 --> 00:51:33,119
while the account of a lifetime
slips through our fingers?
992
00:51:33,799 --> 00:51:35,009
No, no.
993
00:51:35,092 --> 00:51:36,262
Well, what then?
994
00:51:42,516 --> 00:51:43,766
I think we send Bob.
995
00:51:45,644 --> 00:51:46,644
What?
996
00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:50,610
Look, he gave you that thing
as an invitation, right?
997
00:51:51,192 --> 00:51:53,032
Yeah, he said it would get me in.
998
00:51:53,110 --> 00:51:55,570
Phil, Phil, Phil!
Don't do this to me, man.
999
00:51:55,654 --> 00:51:57,414
What choice do we have?
1000
00:51:57,948 --> 00:52:00,578
That is our only legitimate way in there.
1001
00:52:00,659 --> 00:52:03,329
Besides, he knows Bob.
1002
00:52:03,829 --> 00:52:06,539
They talked. Bob's got an in.
1003
00:52:06,624 --> 00:52:08,794
You are putting our future
in the hands of a kid.
1004
00:52:10,085 --> 00:52:12,245
Nah, it's gonna be all right.
Give me your card.
1005
00:52:12,338 --> 00:52:14,008
- Oh, Jesus Christ...
- Give me your card.
1006
00:52:17,551 --> 00:52:18,471
All right.
1007
00:52:18,552 --> 00:52:20,722
Now, here's what I want you to do.
Sit down!
1008
00:52:23,057 --> 00:52:24,057
Listen to me.
1009
00:52:24,141 --> 00:52:25,141
I'm listening.
1010
00:52:26,060 --> 00:52:27,980
All right, here's what I want you to do.
1011
00:52:29,730 --> 00:52:31,730
I want you to go down the street
1012
00:52:31,816 --> 00:52:33,646
and see if you can find Mr. Fuller.
1013
00:52:34,151 --> 00:52:36,401
If you're fortunate and he is still there,
1014
00:52:36,487 --> 00:52:39,157
I want you to give him our business cards.
1015
00:52:39,240 --> 00:52:41,620
Tell him that we are very anxious
1016
00:52:41,700 --> 00:52:42,780
to meet with him...
1017
00:52:43,410 --> 00:52:45,160
as soon as it's humanly possible.
1018
00:52:45,246 --> 00:52:47,286
- You got that?
- As soon as humanly possible.
1019
00:52:47,373 --> 00:52:50,923
Okay. Tell him we'll be around the hotel
all morning tomorrow.
1020
00:52:51,001 --> 00:52:54,461
He can reach us here
or at the numbers on these cards.
1021
00:52:55,172 --> 00:52:57,222
All right, here. Ask him...
1022
00:52:57,299 --> 00:53:00,639
Ask him to please get a hold
of either Larry or me,
1023
00:53:01,303 --> 00:53:04,603
because we would like
to speak to him very briefly...
1024
00:53:04,682 --> 00:53:05,972
about business.
1025
00:53:06,058 --> 00:53:07,728
Business, just business.
1026
00:53:07,810 --> 00:53:10,310
Explain to him we know
that he's very busy.
1027
00:53:10,396 --> 00:53:12,186
It won't take up much time,
1028
00:53:12,273 --> 00:53:15,823
but there are a few things
that we need to discuss.
1029
00:53:16,569 --> 00:53:17,859
Now, do you have that, Bob?
1030
00:53:17,945 --> 00:53:21,275
- Yeah, I'll try.
- All you have to do... Listen to me.
1031
00:53:21,365 --> 00:53:23,865
All you have to do
is give him the cards and leave.
1032
00:53:23,951 --> 00:53:25,491
What if he wants to talk?
1033
00:53:25,578 --> 00:53:27,788
Well, then you talk as long as he wants.
1034
00:53:27,872 --> 00:53:30,502
Forty days and forty nights,
if you have to, until he tires of it.
1035
00:53:30,583 --> 00:53:32,543
Then you come back here
and tell us what happened.
1036
00:53:33,627 --> 00:53:34,707
You'll wait up?
1037
00:53:34,795 --> 00:53:37,625
Till the next fiscal quarter.
Beyond that, I can't make any guarantees.
1038
00:53:39,133 --> 00:53:41,223
Don't worry about it.
You're gonna do fine.
1039
00:53:41,302 --> 00:53:42,392
Yeah, you'll do fine, Bob.
1040
00:53:42,469 --> 00:53:44,072
I'm sorry for doubting you.
Of course you'll do fine.
1041
00:53:44,096 --> 00:53:45,866
If you follow those instructions
to the letter...
1042
00:53:45,890 --> 00:53:47,409
- you'll do great, you understand?
- Yes.
1043
00:53:47,433 --> 00:53:49,983
Okay, good. Now go. Time's a-Wasting.
1044
00:53:50,936 --> 00:53:53,476
- I'll see you guys later.
- Okay, and hurry! But not too fast!
1045
00:53:53,564 --> 00:53:56,126
Because you'll work up a sweat
and he won't want to come near you.
1046
00:53:56,150 --> 00:53:57,360
Okay.
1047
00:54:04,950 --> 00:54:06,370
Do I, uh...
1048
00:54:07,369 --> 00:54:10,409
Do I strike you as
a particularly religious man, Phil?
1049
00:54:13,375 --> 00:54:14,575
Not in the slightest.
1050
00:54:16,587 --> 00:54:20,417
Then why am I seized with a sudden,
overwhelming desire to...
1051
00:54:20,507 --> 00:54:21,627
pray?
1052
00:55:04,510 --> 00:55:07,390
I should let it dry,
but I'm a little impatient.
1053
00:55:18,774 --> 00:55:20,654
I wonder if he found him.
1054
00:55:23,237 --> 00:55:24,947
He found him.
1055
00:55:25,614 --> 00:55:26,784
What makes you so sure?
1056
00:55:30,119 --> 00:55:32,499
He hadn't have,
he would've been back by now.
1057
00:55:33,747 --> 00:55:34,827
Not necessarily.
1058
00:55:35,833 --> 00:55:37,003
It'll be all right.
1059
00:55:37,710 --> 00:55:38,710
Yeah.
1060
00:55:44,466 --> 00:55:46,586
Phil, can I ask you something seriously?
1061
00:55:48,262 --> 00:55:49,262
Yeah.
1062
00:55:49,346 --> 00:55:51,806
Are you on some kind of medication
I should know about?
1063
00:55:57,980 --> 00:56:00,110
What makes you think
I'm taking medication?
1064
00:56:01,442 --> 00:56:04,822
Because I've never seen you
this relaxed before.
1065
00:56:05,738 --> 00:56:08,658
I almost get the impression
that you just frankly don't give a shit.
1066
00:56:11,285 --> 00:56:12,285
I don't.
1067
00:56:13,370 --> 00:56:14,540
No, I know that.
1068
00:56:14,621 --> 00:56:16,751
We all don't give a shit
to a certain extent.
1069
00:56:16,832 --> 00:56:18,922
What I'm saying is
it's like you don't care.
1070
00:56:22,046 --> 00:56:23,416
I'm tired, Larry.
1071
00:56:24,256 --> 00:56:26,716
Well, I recognize that.
It's been a very long day.
1072
00:56:27,384 --> 00:56:28,554
That's not what I mean.
1073
00:56:36,393 --> 00:56:40,233
I get what you're driving at,
and I sympathize. I do.
1074
00:56:40,314 --> 00:56:43,694
We all know you've been
going through a lot lately, Phil, and...
1075
00:56:43,776 --> 00:56:45,936
for a long time
I've been meaning to state outright,
1076
00:56:46,028 --> 00:56:49,198
if you need anything at all,
you don't hesitate to call, day or night.
1077
00:56:50,449 --> 00:56:53,989
I would've said something sooner,
but I-I thought maybe it was understood.
1078
00:56:54,828 --> 00:56:56,118
I assumed as much.
1079
00:56:57,039 --> 00:57:00,209
Well, you were right, too,
and I hope you know I mean it.
1080
00:57:01,627 --> 00:57:04,337
I've been thinkin' about
makin' a few changes.
1081
00:57:06,215 --> 00:57:07,255
Like what?
1082
00:57:07,883 --> 00:57:10,303
I don't know. Just changes.
1083
00:57:12,679 --> 00:57:14,259
Well, you sure that's wise, Phil?
1084
00:57:14,348 --> 00:57:17,978
I mean, you've had an awful lot
of changes imposed on you in recent days.
1085
00:57:18,060 --> 00:57:21,150
Maybe it's time for you to just, you know,
let things settle.
1086
00:57:25,359 --> 00:57:27,739
I've been toying with the idea of...
1087
00:57:27,820 --> 00:57:30,950
pursuing a... different line of work.
1088
00:57:32,241 --> 00:57:33,661
Something other than marketing?
1089
00:57:36,370 --> 00:57:37,370
Yeah.
1090
00:57:37,454 --> 00:57:40,374
Well, speaking as your friend,
Phil, as one who knows you...
1091
00:57:40,999 --> 00:57:42,079
intimately, as it were,
1092
00:57:42,167 --> 00:57:44,207
I-I think that's a bad idea,
1093
00:57:44,294 --> 00:57:46,504
Dare I say an entirely shitty idea.
1094
00:57:47,089 --> 00:57:48,259
Why?
1095
00:57:48,340 --> 00:57:51,510
Well, because "A," you were born for this.
You have a gift.
1096
00:57:52,177 --> 00:57:53,387
I'm not Murdoch.
1097
00:57:54,638 --> 00:57:56,138
Well, nobody's Murdoch.
1098
00:57:57,182 --> 00:58:00,352
Murdoch doesn't exist.
He's what we pumped him up to be.
1099
00:58:01,562 --> 00:58:05,312
"B," I don't exactly relish the idea of
goin' out on the road with somebody new.
1100
00:58:07,067 --> 00:58:08,857
It was gonna happen sooner or later.
1101
00:58:09,528 --> 00:58:10,358
No, it wasn't.
1102
00:58:10,445 --> 00:58:13,155
I was always hoping we'd end in a kind of
murder-suicide thing.
1103
00:59:11,173 --> 00:59:12,973
I've been thinking about...
1104
00:59:13,050 --> 00:59:15,340
a lot of other things lately too.
1105
00:59:17,971 --> 00:59:20,033
Well, Phil, if something's bothering you,
get it out.
1106
00:59:20,057 --> 00:59:22,427
I mean, it doesn't do any good
to let things fester.
1107
00:59:23,185 --> 00:59:24,845
What exactly have you been...
1108
00:59:25,729 --> 00:59:26,979
thinking so much about?
1109
00:59:28,941 --> 00:59:29,861
Life.
1110
00:59:29,942 --> 00:59:30,942
Life?
1111
00:59:32,402 --> 00:59:33,742
And death.
1112
00:59:34,821 --> 00:59:36,161
Jesus, not you too?
1113
00:59:36,240 --> 00:59:38,635
What is it with everyone
suddenly thinking about life and death?
1114
00:59:38,659 --> 00:59:39,739
Is there something going on
1115
00:59:39,826 --> 00:59:41,846
that nobody's telling me
that I should be told about,
1116
00:59:41,870 --> 00:59:43,200
like sunspots or something?
1117
00:59:43,288 --> 00:59:45,918
Is there a plague coming
to wipe us from the globe?
1118
00:59:47,501 --> 00:59:48,671
Strange things happen.
1119
00:59:49,586 --> 00:59:50,666
No, they don't.
1120
00:59:50,754 --> 00:59:53,134
Not unless they're printed first
in USA Today.
1121
00:59:53,215 --> 00:59:55,625
Jesus comes again, he's got to give 'em
two days' notice.
1122
00:59:55,717 --> 00:59:57,637
Time to work up one of them little graphs.
1123
01:00:00,514 --> 01:00:03,064
I've been thinking about God lately, too.
1124
01:00:03,433 --> 01:00:04,433
Wondering.
1125
01:00:06,395 --> 01:00:07,395
About God?
1126
01:00:08,105 --> 01:00:09,105
Yeah.
1127
01:00:12,276 --> 01:00:13,276
What about him?
1128
01:00:17,281 --> 01:00:18,411
I don't know.
1129
01:00:19,825 --> 01:00:22,865
Haven't you just wondered about God, ever?
1130
01:00:25,414 --> 01:00:28,374
Well, yeah. Everybody wonders about God
every now and then.
1131
01:00:28,458 --> 01:00:30,918
It's just some of us don't dwell on it,
you know?
1132
01:00:32,296 --> 01:00:35,796
I give it a place.
I believe what I believe.
1133
01:00:37,259 --> 01:00:39,299
- Which is what?
- How the hell should I know?
1134
01:00:44,474 --> 01:00:46,984
When I was a kid,
I had a dream about God.
1135
01:00:49,688 --> 01:00:50,688
I dreamt...
1136
01:00:51,690 --> 01:00:53,980
I found him hiding in a closet
1137
01:00:54,067 --> 01:00:56,437
in the middle of a burnt-out city.
1138
01:00:58,739 --> 01:01:01,199
This city was destroyed by fire...
1139
01:01:03,452 --> 01:01:05,202
or some kind of explosion.
1140
01:01:07,706 --> 01:01:08,706
And...
1141
01:01:09,833 --> 01:01:11,833
there in the middle of it...
1142
01:01:13,003 --> 01:01:14,713
was a coat closet...
1143
01:01:16,423 --> 01:01:18,053
standing there all by itself.
1144
01:01:20,594 --> 01:01:23,354
And I walked up to the closet
and opened the door...
1145
01:01:25,807 --> 01:01:27,977
and inside was God,
1146
01:01:29,144 --> 01:01:30,144
hiding.
1147
01:01:32,189 --> 01:01:35,819
I remember he had a-a big lion head.
1148
01:01:37,944 --> 01:01:39,454
But I knew it wasn't a lion.
1149
01:01:41,156 --> 01:01:42,196
It was God.
1150
01:01:43,450 --> 01:01:44,450
And he was afraid.
1151
01:01:47,996 --> 01:01:51,746
And... I reached out my hand...
1152
01:01:53,251 --> 01:01:54,791
to lead him out of the closet,
1153
01:01:57,798 --> 01:01:58,798
and I said,
1154
01:02:00,967 --> 01:02:02,467
"Don't be afraid, God."
1155
01:02:04,179 --> 01:02:05,349
"I'm on your side."
1156
01:02:09,476 --> 01:02:10,516
And we stood there,
1157
01:02:12,771 --> 01:02:13,771
the two of us,
1158
01:02:14,731 --> 01:02:15,981
holding hands,
1159
01:02:18,360 --> 01:02:20,280
looking out over the destruction.
1160
01:02:24,574 --> 01:02:26,494
It was just after sunset.
1161
01:02:33,667 --> 01:02:37,087
I don't know why,
but I've always had this...
1162
01:02:37,921 --> 01:02:39,381
haunting feeling...
1163
01:02:42,342 --> 01:02:45,392
that I had some kind
of mission here on earth.
1164
01:02:51,476 --> 01:02:52,476
A mission?
1165
01:02:53,520 --> 01:02:54,600
Yeah.
1166
01:02:56,148 --> 01:02:57,268
What kind of mission?
1167
01:03:00,986 --> 01:03:02,486
I have no idea.
1168
01:03:06,158 --> 01:03:07,988
Well, I'll tell you what your mission is.
1169
01:03:08,076 --> 01:03:09,616
Your mission is the same as mine...
1170
01:03:10,787 --> 01:03:14,417
To be a... liaison between parties.
1171
01:03:17,544 --> 01:03:19,254
Things like that don't bother you, huh?
1172
01:03:22,007 --> 01:03:23,127
What do you mean? Dreams?
1173
01:03:23,675 --> 01:03:25,175
Questions about God.
1174
01:03:29,347 --> 01:03:30,677
Well, I figure, you know...
1175
01:03:33,018 --> 01:03:34,978
I'm gonna find out sooner or later.
1176
01:03:35,061 --> 01:03:38,271
My wondering about it
isn't gonna change anything.
1177
01:03:38,815 --> 01:03:42,485
You know, in the meantime, why lose sleep?
I get precious little as it is.
1178
01:03:46,198 --> 01:03:47,738
But you still wonder, don't you?
1179
01:03:52,996 --> 01:03:54,326
I'm human, Phil.
1180
01:03:56,041 --> 01:03:57,041
I know.
1181
01:03:59,377 --> 01:04:02,587
We're all very tired, Phil.
You know, it's the nature of the business.
1182
01:04:02,672 --> 01:04:05,132
You've been under
a lot of stress lately, too.
1183
01:04:07,511 --> 01:04:08,681
Is that what it is?
1184
01:04:09,763 --> 01:04:11,853
Yeah. You're damn right that's what it is.
1185
01:04:12,516 --> 01:04:13,596
You need a vacation.
1186
01:04:16,186 --> 01:04:17,386
I just had a vacation.
1187
01:04:17,479 --> 01:04:19,809
Well, it didn't do any good,
so you need another one.
1188
01:04:19,898 --> 01:04:21,648
You know, maybe just a good, hot date.
1189
01:04:22,192 --> 01:04:24,282
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
1190
01:04:24,361 --> 01:04:26,861
You need, uh, what's-her-name, the blonde.
1191
01:04:29,533 --> 01:04:32,743
- Susan.
- Yeah. Susan.
1192
01:04:32,827 --> 01:04:35,037
That's what you do.
That's exactly what you do.
1193
01:04:35,121 --> 01:04:36,121
You call her up,
1194
01:04:36,957 --> 01:04:39,077
you tell her you made reservations
in the dells,
1195
01:04:40,043 --> 01:04:42,173
you buy yourself a gross
or two of condoms,
1196
01:04:42,254 --> 01:04:45,384
and then the two of you
go at it like hamsters in heat.
1197
01:04:45,465 --> 01:04:47,465
You forget about work.
You forget about everything.
1198
01:04:47,926 --> 01:04:50,676
You know, you just go on up there
and get your ashes hauled.
1199
01:05:51,031 --> 01:05:52,201
Do you love me, Larry?
1200
01:05:58,496 --> 01:06:00,036
D-Do I love you?
1201
01:06:01,625 --> 01:06:02,625
Yeah.
1202
01:06:03,918 --> 01:06:06,208
Well, it depends on what you mean, Phil.
I mean...
1203
01:06:07,547 --> 01:06:10,297
If you're asking, am I willing
to have your children, well, then, no,
1204
01:06:10,383 --> 01:06:11,633
I probably don't love you.
1205
01:06:13,928 --> 01:06:14,928
Why do you ask?
1206
01:06:16,014 --> 01:06:17,144
It's just a question.
1207
01:06:18,683 --> 01:06:20,183
How could I not love you?
1208
01:06:21,811 --> 01:06:24,441
You have good hygiene.
You're a snappy dresser.
1209
01:06:25,398 --> 01:06:28,038
You don't talk with your mouth full.
What's not to love about that?
1210
01:06:30,820 --> 01:06:31,820
Forget it.
1211
01:06:35,492 --> 01:06:36,492
What brought that on?
1212
01:06:39,037 --> 01:06:40,747
Well, when I was a kid,
1213
01:06:42,123 --> 01:06:44,083
there was a Bible verse that I learned.
1214
01:06:46,586 --> 01:06:47,706
And Jesus said,
1215
01:06:51,216 --> 01:06:53,336
"Greater love has no man than this:"
1216
01:06:54,928 --> 01:06:57,218
"That he lays down
his life for his friend."
1217
01:06:59,224 --> 01:07:02,234
Are you asking,
would I be willing to die for you?
1218
01:07:03,520 --> 01:07:04,520
I guess so.
1219
01:07:07,691 --> 01:07:09,691
Well, that's pushing things
kind of far, Phil.
1220
01:07:10,318 --> 01:07:13,398
I mean, what situation
could possibly come up
1221
01:07:13,488 --> 01:07:15,608
that I would be called upon
to die for you?
1222
01:07:20,245 --> 01:07:22,365
Beats me.
1223
01:07:22,455 --> 01:07:24,615
I mean, what? You're saying, "Hey, hey."
1224
01:07:24,708 --> 01:07:27,378
"Larry, take a flying leap
off the balcony"? No, I wouldn't.
1225
01:07:30,547 --> 01:07:31,627
I wouldn't ask you.
1226
01:07:34,092 --> 01:07:36,512
Well, even if you did,
I'd say, "Phil, my friend",
1227
01:07:36,594 --> 01:07:38,934
"we've enjoyed a long
and happy relationship"
1228
01:07:39,013 --> 01:07:40,723
"these last I-don't-know-how-many years,"
1229
01:07:40,807 --> 01:07:43,017
"but in answer to your request,
no, fuck you,"
1230
01:07:43,101 --> 01:07:45,391
and then I would dismiss myself,
no hard feelings.
1231
01:07:49,315 --> 01:07:50,315
Right. You should.
1232
01:07:59,951 --> 01:08:01,291
I don't know who I love.
1233
01:08:06,249 --> 01:08:07,749
There's a lot of people I like.
1234
01:08:15,341 --> 01:08:16,341
But love?
1235
01:08:21,264 --> 01:08:22,724
That's a whole different story.
1236
01:08:28,188 --> 01:08:29,348
Don't worry about it.
1237
01:08:31,900 --> 01:08:32,980
Yeah.
1238
01:08:45,121 --> 01:08:46,121
Oh!
1239
01:08:47,040 --> 01:08:48,040
He's here!
1240
01:08:49,042 --> 01:08:50,042
I told you.
1241
01:08:52,962 --> 01:08:53,962
So.
1242
01:08:54,839 --> 01:08:55,839
What?
1243
01:08:56,299 --> 01:08:57,299
How'd it go?
1244
01:08:58,051 --> 01:08:59,051
Okay.
1245
01:09:00,053 --> 01:09:01,053
Did you find him?
1246
01:09:04,307 --> 01:09:05,677
Yes, I-I found him.
1247
01:09:07,060 --> 01:09:08,060
And?
1248
01:09:08,520 --> 01:09:09,520
And we talked.
1249
01:09:12,315 --> 01:09:13,315
And?
1250
01:09:13,358 --> 01:09:15,608
And nothing. We just talked.
1251
01:09:17,695 --> 01:09:19,565
Well, what'd you talk about, Bob?
1252
01:09:22,659 --> 01:09:25,079
Bob, what did you talk about?
1253
01:09:25,995 --> 01:09:27,445
We talked about Christ.
1254
01:09:36,089 --> 01:09:37,089
You talked about...
1255
01:09:38,466 --> 01:09:39,466
Jesus.
1256
01:09:40,301 --> 01:09:42,551
Did you mention, perhaps,
What line of lubricants
1257
01:09:42,637 --> 01:09:44,007
Jesus would have endorsed?
1258
01:09:44,097 --> 01:09:46,267
- Larry...
- What did you say to him, Bob?
1259
01:09:49,602 --> 01:09:51,902
We just... discussed things.
1260
01:09:52,897 --> 01:09:54,017
Concerning Jesus?
1261
01:09:55,275 --> 01:09:57,985
- Concerning a lot of things.
- In relation to...
1262
01:09:58,319 --> 01:09:59,609
- Jesus.
- Jesus.
1263
01:10:01,114 --> 01:10:02,284
Yes, I see.
1264
01:10:05,535 --> 01:10:09,285
So the subject of lubricants
didn't come up, I take it.
1265
01:10:09,789 --> 01:10:12,999
Well, the nature of the conversation
steered itself away from that.
1266
01:10:13,084 --> 01:10:14,084
The nature did?
1267
01:10:15,461 --> 01:10:16,461
All by itself?
1268
01:10:17,714 --> 01:10:18,714
Yes.
1269
01:10:19,549 --> 01:10:22,589
So, conversation was
just kind of going along,
1270
01:10:22,677 --> 01:10:24,177
and then, you know, on its own,
1271
01:10:24,262 --> 01:10:26,262
and then suddenly,
sort of out of the blue,
1272
01:10:26,347 --> 01:10:29,347
and before you knew it,
you were just there talking about God
1273
01:10:29,434 --> 01:10:31,064
or Jesus... Excuse me.
1274
01:10:31,352 --> 01:10:33,852
It was just two people talking.
1275
01:10:35,189 --> 01:10:37,019
I'm about to say something to you, Bob.
1276
01:10:38,568 --> 01:10:40,688
It's not something I say
to a lot of people,
1277
01:10:40,778 --> 01:10:43,818
because I have to truly
mean it and believe it.
1278
01:10:44,240 --> 01:10:46,950
Because to me, it's like
telling somebody to go to hell.
1279
01:10:47,660 --> 01:10:49,040
That's what it means to me.
1280
01:10:50,079 --> 01:10:53,869
- What is it?
- It's that I don't believe you, Bob.
1281
01:10:54,417 --> 01:10:55,877
- You don't...
- Believe you.
1282
01:10:56,628 --> 01:11:00,838
Yes, I'm having a hard time
convincing myself
1283
01:11:00,924 --> 01:11:02,934
that what you just said is true.
1284
01:11:03,343 --> 01:11:05,433
- It is true.
- Perhaps.
1285
01:11:06,304 --> 01:11:09,354
But I'm having a hard time.
Do you understand?
1286
01:11:09,432 --> 01:11:10,642
Larry. Come on.
1287
01:11:10,934 --> 01:11:11,934
Leave me alone!
1288
01:11:13,853 --> 01:11:15,313
Will you please...
1289
01:11:17,607 --> 01:11:22,027
I'm trying to deal with things here, okay,
so just don't interrupt me again.
1290
01:11:22,445 --> 01:11:23,775
It's all right, Phil.
1291
01:11:23,863 --> 01:11:25,243
See? It's all right.
1292
01:11:30,495 --> 01:11:32,575
Now, Bob, I'd like to ask you a question,
1293
01:11:33,164 --> 01:11:34,674
and I'd like a straight answer.
1294
01:11:34,749 --> 01:11:36,499
- Can you give that to me?
- Yes.
1295
01:11:37,085 --> 01:11:39,285
Who... raised...
1296
01:11:39,837 --> 01:11:43,087
the subject of Jesus, honestly?
1297
01:11:57,063 --> 01:11:58,063
I did.
1298
01:11:58,690 --> 01:11:59,690
You...
1299
01:12:00,441 --> 01:12:01,441
Yes.
1300
01:12:01,943 --> 01:12:04,573
Mentioned Jesus first.
1301
01:12:05,655 --> 01:12:06,655
Yes.
1302
01:12:11,327 --> 01:12:12,327
Why?
1303
01:12:13,788 --> 01:12:15,788
Because it's very important to me...
1304
01:12:17,625 --> 01:12:20,665
that people hear about Jesus.
1305
01:12:24,716 --> 01:12:25,716
You mean, that...
1306
01:12:27,468 --> 01:12:29,298
That he died for their sins?
1307
01:12:30,138 --> 01:12:31,138
Yes.
1308
01:12:37,145 --> 01:12:39,265
Okay, Bob. Let me restate the question.
1309
01:12:40,815 --> 01:12:42,565
Understanding that it was...
1310
01:12:43,067 --> 01:12:45,187
very important to our being here
1311
01:12:45,278 --> 01:12:48,068
that we meet with
and speak to Mr. Fuller
1312
01:12:48,156 --> 01:12:51,776
concerning... the lubricant situation,
1313
01:12:54,370 --> 01:12:56,080
why did you instead...
1314
01:12:57,540 --> 01:12:59,790
choose to talk to him about Jesus?
1315
01:13:03,421 --> 01:13:05,211
Because I think it's more important.
1316
01:13:07,175 --> 01:13:10,425
Even though we're at a convention
where it's more customary to...
1317
01:13:11,137 --> 01:13:12,177
talk business.
1318
01:13:12,680 --> 01:13:15,640
Yes! I understand, Larry.
1319
01:13:16,642 --> 01:13:19,062
I just don't see the crime in speaking
1320
01:13:19,145 --> 01:13:23,315
to, uh, another human being
as another human being.
1321
01:13:23,983 --> 01:13:26,783
I didn't mention work or lubricants
or anything like that
1322
01:13:26,861 --> 01:13:29,111
because I didn't want him
to think I was using...
1323
01:13:29,197 --> 01:13:32,317
the subject of religion to cozy up to him,
1324
01:13:32,408 --> 01:13:34,618
to get him to sign some contract.
1325
01:13:36,079 --> 01:13:38,579
I didn't want him
to think I was insincere.
1326
01:13:42,085 --> 01:13:45,955
But you were insincere, Bob,
in a much greater sense.
1327
01:13:46,255 --> 01:13:50,295
If we're nothing but functions here,
then why don't they just send robots?
1328
01:13:50,718 --> 01:13:53,008
They don't send robots, Bob,
for the simple reason,
1329
01:13:53,096 --> 01:13:54,506
they haven't invented one yet.
1330
01:13:55,389 --> 01:13:57,719
The day comes when they can build a robot
1331
01:13:57,809 --> 01:14:00,189
to do what we do and make it work,
1332
01:14:00,269 --> 01:14:02,349
then that's exactly what they'll do,
1333
01:14:02,438 --> 01:14:03,558
precisely.
1334
01:14:04,315 --> 01:14:06,975
But until that day, they send us.
1335
01:14:07,068 --> 01:14:09,568
They say, "Hey, Bob, Larry, Phil",
1336
01:14:09,654 --> 01:14:12,114
"why don't you go on down to Wichita
for a couple of days?"
1337
01:14:12,198 --> 01:14:14,758
"Don't worry about your room and board.
We'll take care of that."
1338
01:14:15,159 --> 01:14:16,869
And for a couple of days, Bob,
1339
01:14:18,371 --> 01:14:20,371
we lose our identities
1340
01:14:20,706 --> 01:14:22,166
here in Wichita,
1341
01:14:22,792 --> 01:14:27,052
and we become... the hands of the company,
1342
01:14:27,130 --> 01:14:29,800
shaking all the other hands before us.
1343
01:14:29,882 --> 01:14:32,302
What you did...
The reason you were insincere,
1344
01:14:32,385 --> 01:14:34,715
is that you cut off that bond.
1345
01:14:34,804 --> 01:14:38,774
It would be like the hand just sort of
breaking away from the arm and saying,
1346
01:14:38,850 --> 01:14:41,430
"Oh, you know what?
I have this thing out here to do"
1347
01:14:41,519 --> 01:14:43,019
"that has nothing to do with you."
1348
01:14:43,104 --> 01:14:44,998
- The Apostle Paul said...
- Please don't do that.
1349
01:14:45,022 --> 01:14:47,835
I'm trying to have conversation with you.
Don't bring the Apostle Paul in.
1350
01:14:47,859 --> 01:14:49,149
I'm trying to do something else.
1351
01:14:49,235 --> 01:14:51,605
I don't see how we can have
a conversation like this
1352
01:14:51,696 --> 01:14:54,106
if I'm not allowed to bring up
the subject of God.
1353
01:14:54,198 --> 01:14:55,318
We're not talking about God.
1354
01:14:55,366 --> 01:14:57,010
I'm talking about
something bigger than God.
1355
01:14:57,034 --> 01:15:00,084
- Bigger than God?!
- At issue, Bob, is not your belief in God
1356
01:15:00,163 --> 01:15:02,083
or your desire to spread that belief.
1357
01:15:02,165 --> 01:15:04,245
At issue is what we're here to do.
1358
01:15:04,333 --> 01:15:06,133
Which is what, Larry? Which is what?!
1359
01:15:06,711 --> 01:15:08,841
We're here to sell lubricants, Bob!
1360
01:15:08,921 --> 01:15:12,551
Industrial lubricants!
We're not here to save souls.
1361
01:15:12,633 --> 01:15:16,053
We're not here to go chasing women either,
but that doesn't seem to stop you.
1362
01:15:17,096 --> 01:15:20,056
How dare you throw that back in my face?
1363
01:15:20,141 --> 01:15:21,851
How dare you, you little pipsqueak?
1364
01:15:24,353 --> 01:15:27,023
There is nothing wrong
with admiring the scenery
1365
01:15:27,440 --> 01:15:29,070
while you're doing business,
1366
01:15:29,150 --> 01:15:32,190
as long as you're doing business!
1367
01:15:32,862 --> 01:15:35,162
And for your information, son,
1368
01:15:35,907 --> 01:15:37,777
fifteen years,
1369
01:15:38,534 --> 01:15:41,624
not once have I cheated on my wife.
1370
01:15:42,205 --> 01:15:44,825
If you look at a woman with lust,
it's the same as...
1371
01:15:44,916 --> 01:15:46,826
No, it's not!
There's a hell of a difference...
1372
01:15:46,918 --> 01:15:48,078
That's not what Jesus said...
1373
01:15:48,169 --> 01:15:50,689
How do you know what Jesus said,
for Christ's sake? Were you there?
1374
01:15:50,713 --> 01:15:52,883
- No, somebody wrote it down in a book.
- Larry.
1375
01:15:52,965 --> 01:15:54,860
If somebody handed it down,
you believe it, yeah, sure.
1376
01:15:54,884 --> 01:15:56,384
Transcriptions are true!
1377
01:15:56,469 --> 01:15:58,405
It doesn't mean I'm right or you're right.
We weren't there!
1378
01:15:58,429 --> 01:15:59,259
Larry.
1379
01:15:59,347 --> 01:16:02,075
- The Bible specifically says...
- Don't you quote scripture to me, Bob!
1380
01:16:02,099 --> 01:16:02,929
Do not do it!
1381
01:16:03,017 --> 01:16:04,727
I go back to what the Apostle Paul...
1382
01:16:04,810 --> 01:16:08,190
The Apostle Paul was not sent to Wichita
to hawk...
1383
01:16:10,066 --> 01:16:11,936
Larry! Larry!
1384
01:16:12,026 --> 01:16:13,106
Larry!
1385
01:16:13,903 --> 01:16:14,903
Larry!
1386
01:16:17,698 --> 01:16:19,568
Larry. Larry!
1387
01:16:26,958 --> 01:16:28,418
With or without the account,
1388
01:16:29,877 --> 01:16:30,877
we'll live.
1389
01:16:33,881 --> 01:16:34,881
Come on.
1390
01:16:39,428 --> 01:16:40,428
I'm sorry.
1391
01:16:47,311 --> 01:16:48,311
Yes.
1392
01:16:50,022 --> 01:16:51,062
We'll live.
1393
01:16:52,441 --> 01:16:53,441
We'll live.
1394
01:16:54,860 --> 01:16:56,150
I believe I just said that.
1395
01:17:19,885 --> 01:17:22,635
I'm suddenly very conscious
of the lateness of things.
1396
01:17:31,689 --> 01:17:34,019
What time do you want to get together
in the morning?
1397
01:17:39,280 --> 01:17:41,200
It does... Doesn't matter.
1398
01:17:41,949 --> 01:17:43,159
What time?
1399
01:17:45,786 --> 01:17:46,786
7:30.
1400
01:17:46,871 --> 01:17:48,251
Make it 8:00.
1401
01:17:51,167 --> 01:17:52,167
Fine, 8:00.
1402
01:17:56,630 --> 01:17:58,090
Forgive me, Bob, for...
1403
01:17:59,342 --> 01:18:01,052
behaving as though I were your father,
1404
01:18:02,762 --> 01:18:04,932
of trying to give you
a little something of...
1405
01:18:08,309 --> 01:18:09,309
what I am.
1406
01:18:14,815 --> 01:18:15,815
It's all right.
1407
01:18:23,824 --> 01:18:24,824
Larry.
1408
01:18:28,621 --> 01:18:29,621
Good night.
1409
01:19:13,582 --> 01:19:15,212
There's somethin' I wanna say to you.
1410
01:19:20,714 --> 01:19:22,844
And I want you to listen very closely,
1411
01:19:25,636 --> 01:19:27,466
because it's very important.
1412
01:19:31,809 --> 01:19:34,059
The man we just chased from here...
1413
01:19:34,520 --> 01:19:36,480
We didn't chase anybody.
1414
01:19:36,564 --> 01:19:39,614
The man who just left the room
1415
01:19:40,609 --> 01:19:42,239
a moment ago
1416
01:19:43,904 --> 01:19:45,414
is a very good friend of mine.
1417
01:19:46,740 --> 01:19:49,410
Is it because I've known him
for a long time?
1418
01:19:50,411 --> 01:19:52,371
Well, there are a lot of people
1419
01:19:53,038 --> 01:19:55,168
who I've known for quite a while.
1420
01:19:55,916 --> 01:19:58,746
And some of them
I wouldn't let wipe my dog's ass.
1421
01:19:59,670 --> 01:20:03,170
Others, I can take or leave.
They don't matter to me.
1422
01:20:04,675 --> 01:20:06,965
But Larry matters very much,
1423
01:20:08,095 --> 01:20:09,175
the reason being
1424
01:20:10,389 --> 01:20:11,559
I can trust him.
1425
01:20:12,475 --> 01:20:13,975
I know I can trust him.
1426
01:20:16,020 --> 01:20:17,020
He's honest.
1427
01:20:17,938 --> 01:20:19,268
Is he honest
1428
01:20:20,065 --> 01:20:21,315
or is he just blunt?
1429
01:20:23,486 --> 01:20:26,236
He's honest, Bob.
1430
01:20:27,531 --> 01:20:29,121
He's blunt as well.
1431
01:20:29,200 --> 01:20:31,490
That sometimes is part of being honest,
1432
01:20:33,204 --> 01:20:37,794
Because there are a lot of people
who are blunt, but not honest.
1433
01:20:37,875 --> 01:20:39,495
Larry is not one of those.
1434
01:20:40,836 --> 01:20:42,456
Larry is an honest man.
1435
01:20:48,052 --> 01:20:50,802
You, too, are an honest man, Bob.
1436
01:20:50,888 --> 01:20:52,058
I believe that...
1437
01:20:52,139 --> 01:20:55,139
That somewhere down deep inside of you
1438
01:20:55,226 --> 01:20:57,886
is something that strives to be honest.
1439
01:20:58,646 --> 01:21:01,396
The question that you have to ask yourself
1440
01:21:02,650 --> 01:21:06,070
is, "Has it touched the whole of my life?"
1441
01:21:07,363 --> 01:21:08,743
What does that mean?
1442
01:21:09,532 --> 01:21:11,742
That means that you preaching Jesus
1443
01:21:11,825 --> 01:21:16,325
is no different than Larry
or anybody else preaching lubricants.
1444
01:21:16,413 --> 01:21:21,633
It doesn't matter whether you're selling
Jesus or Buddha or civil rights
1445
01:21:21,710 --> 01:21:24,800
or how to make money in real estate
with no money down.
1446
01:21:26,715 --> 01:21:28,415
That doesn't make you a human being.
1447
01:21:29,385 --> 01:21:31,005
It makes you a marketing rep.
1448
01:21:31,679 --> 01:21:34,099
If you wanna talk to somebody honestly,
1449
01:21:35,015 --> 01:21:36,215
as a human being,
1450
01:21:38,269 --> 01:21:39,599
ask him about his kids.
1451
01:21:41,230 --> 01:21:44,360
Find out what his dreams are,
just to find out.
1452
01:21:45,067 --> 01:21:46,107
For no other reason.
1453
01:21:46,193 --> 01:21:49,153
Because as soon as
you lay your hands on a conversation,
1454
01:21:50,155 --> 01:21:51,155
to steer it,
1455
01:21:52,449 --> 01:21:54,029
it's not a conversation anymore.
1456
01:21:54,577 --> 01:21:57,037
It's a pitch,
and you're not a human being.
1457
01:21:57,830 --> 01:21:59,210
You're a marketing rep.
1458
01:22:01,875 --> 01:22:04,125
Forgive me
if I respectfully disagree.
1459
01:22:05,379 --> 01:22:08,879
We were talking before about... character.
1460
01:22:08,966 --> 01:22:11,546
You were asking me about character.
1461
01:22:12,136 --> 01:22:14,346
And we were speaking of faces.
1462
01:22:14,430 --> 01:22:16,680
But the question is much deeper than that.
1463
01:22:18,851 --> 01:22:19,851
The question is,
1464
01:22:20,936 --> 01:22:23,396
"Do you have any character at all?"
1465
01:22:24,565 --> 01:22:28,275
And if you want my honest opinion, Bob,
you do not,
1466
01:22:29,111 --> 01:22:30,611
for the simple reason
1467
01:22:32,698 --> 01:22:34,698
that you don't regret anything yet.
1468
01:22:35,909 --> 01:22:37,949
You're saying I won't have any character
1469
01:22:39,788 --> 01:22:41,458
unless I do something I regret?
1470
01:22:42,583 --> 01:22:43,583
No, Bob.
1471
01:22:45,127 --> 01:22:47,797
I'm saying you've already done
plenty of things to regret.
1472
01:22:49,590 --> 01:22:51,090
You just don't know what they are.
1473
01:22:54,637 --> 01:22:55,927
It's when you discover them,
1474
01:22:58,724 --> 01:23:01,234
when you see the folly
in something you've done
1475
01:23:02,478 --> 01:23:03,688
and you wish...
1476
01:23:04,355 --> 01:23:05,855
that you had it to do over,
1477
01:23:07,650 --> 01:23:08,900
but you know you can't,
1478
01:23:10,653 --> 01:23:11,693
'cause it's too late.
1479
01:23:16,700 --> 01:23:19,290
So you pick that thing up
and you carry it with you
1480
01:23:20,496 --> 01:23:22,866
to remind you that life goes on.
1481
01:23:23,499 --> 01:23:25,289
The world will spin without you.
1482
01:23:27,294 --> 01:23:28,804
You really don't matter in the end.
1483
01:23:32,132 --> 01:23:34,302
Then you will attain character.
1484
01:23:36,095 --> 01:23:38,675
Because... honesty
1485
01:23:40,224 --> 01:23:42,104
will reach out from inside
1486
01:23:45,729 --> 01:23:48,189
and tattoo itself all across your face.
1487
01:23:50,984 --> 01:23:52,074
Until that day,
1488
01:23:54,738 --> 01:23:55,738
however,
1489
01:24:00,035 --> 01:24:02,785
you cannot expect to go
beyond a certain point.
1490
01:24:09,211 --> 01:24:11,381
May I go now?
1491
01:24:13,257 --> 01:24:14,257
Go ahead.
1492
01:24:17,553 --> 01:24:18,553
Thank you.
1493
01:24:24,935 --> 01:24:28,055
Hmm. Hmm.
1494
01:24:50,753 --> 01:24:51,753
Good night.
1495
01:25:18,906 --> 01:25:19,906
Hello?
1496
01:25:23,619 --> 01:25:25,409
No, you just missed him.
1497
01:25:29,625 --> 01:25:30,625
What's that?
1498
01:25:37,299 --> 01:25:38,299
I love you too.
1499
01:25:43,347 --> 01:25:44,347
Yeah.
1500
01:25:56,068 --> 01:25:59,068
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth.
1501
01:25:59,154 --> 01:26:00,404
Oh, never mind.
1502
01:26:00,489 --> 01:26:04,659
You will not understand the power and
beauty of your youth until they've faded.
1503
01:26:05,244 --> 01:26:09,504
But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back
at photos of yourself
1504
01:26:09,581 --> 01:26:12,331
and recall in a way you can't grasp now.
1505
01:26:12,417 --> 01:26:14,787
How much possibility lay before you
1506
01:26:14,878 --> 01:26:16,958
and how fabulous you really looked.
1507
01:26:17,297 --> 01:26:20,587
You are not as fat as you imagine.
1508
01:26:23,428 --> 01:26:25,138
Don't worry about the future,
1509
01:26:25,222 --> 01:26:27,852
or worry, but know that worrying
1510
01:26:27,933 --> 01:26:31,023
is as effective as trying to solve
an algebra equation
1511
01:26:31,103 --> 01:26:32,563
by chewing bubble gum.
1512
01:26:33,564 --> 01:26:35,064
The real troubles in your life
1513
01:26:35,148 --> 01:26:38,438
are apt to be things
that never crossed your worried mind,
1514
01:26:38,527 --> 01:26:43,157
The kind that blindsides you at 4:00 P.M.
on some idle Tuesday.
1515
01:26:43,574 --> 01:26:47,124
Do one thing every day that scares you.
1516
01:26:47,786 --> 01:26:48,786
Sing.
1517
01:26:48,871 --> 01:26:51,541
Don't be reckless
with other people's hearts.
1518
01:26:51,623 --> 01:26:54,833
Don't put up with people
who are reckless with yours.
1519
01:26:55,836 --> 01:26:56,836
Floss.
1520
01:26:57,212 --> 01:26:59,262
Don't waste your time on jealousy.
1521
01:26:59,631 --> 01:27:00,841
Sometimes you're ahead,
1522
01:27:01,508 --> 01:27:02,968
sometimes you're behind.
1523
01:27:03,969 --> 01:27:06,179
The race is long, and in the end,
1524
01:27:06,263 --> 01:27:07,853
it's only with yourself.
1525
01:27:10,267 --> 01:27:11,977
Remember compliments you receive.
1526
01:27:12,686 --> 01:27:14,266
Forget the insults.
1527
01:27:14,980 --> 01:27:17,940
If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
1528
01:27:18,275 --> 01:27:19,685
Keep your old love letters.
1529
01:27:20,193 --> 01:27:21,943
Throw away your old bank statements.
1530
01:27:24,823 --> 01:27:25,823
Stretch.
1531
01:27:26,158 --> 01:27:29,368
Don't feel guilty if you don't know
what you want to do with your life.
1532
01:27:29,453 --> 01:27:32,623
The most interesting people
I know didn't know at 22
1533
01:27:32,706 --> 01:27:34,616
what they wanted to do with their lives.
1534
01:27:34,708 --> 01:27:37,788
Some of the most interesting
40-year-old I know still don't.
1535
01:27:39,254 --> 01:27:40,594
Get plenty of calcium.
1536
01:27:41,715 --> 01:27:45,335
Be kind to your knees.
You'll miss them when they're gone.
1537
01:27:46,428 --> 01:27:48,548
Maybe you'll marry. Maybe you won't.
1538
01:27:49,097 --> 01:27:51,267
Maybe you'll have children.
Maybe you won't.
1539
01:27:51,725 --> 01:27:53,265
Maybe you'll divorce at 40.
1540
01:27:53,685 --> 01:27:57,515
Maybe you'll dance the funky chicken
on your 75th wedding anniversary.
1541
01:27:57,814 --> 01:28:01,114
Whatever you do,
don't congratulate yourself too much
1542
01:28:01,193 --> 01:28:02,823
or berate yourself either.
1543
01:28:02,903 --> 01:28:05,363
Your choices are half chance.
1544
01:28:05,447 --> 01:28:07,367
So are everybody else's.
1545
01:28:08,367 --> 01:28:11,907
Enjoy your body.
Use it every way you can.
1546
01:28:11,995 --> 01:28:14,825
Don't be afraid of it
or what other people think of it.
1547
01:28:14,915 --> 01:28:17,495
It's the greatest instrument
you'll ever own.
1548
01:28:17,918 --> 01:28:18,918
Dance,
1549
01:28:19,419 --> 01:28:22,419
even if you have nowhere to do it
but in your own living room.
1550
01:28:22,506 --> 01:28:25,086
Read the directions
even if you don't follow them.
1551
01:28:25,175 --> 01:28:27,585
Do not read beauty magazines.
1552
01:28:27,678 --> 01:28:29,888
They will only make you feel ugly.
1553
01:28:36,937 --> 01:28:38,647
Get to know your parents.
1554
01:28:39,481 --> 01:28:41,481
You never know
when they'll be gone for good.
1555
01:28:42,109 --> 01:28:43,359
Be nice to your siblings.
1556
01:28:44,111 --> 01:28:46,951
They're your best link to your past
and the people most likely
1557
01:28:47,030 --> 01:28:48,780
to stick with you in the future.
1558
01:28:52,619 --> 01:28:54,949
Understand that friends come and go,
1559
01:28:55,288 --> 01:28:57,668
but with the precious few
you should hold on.
1560
01:28:58,250 --> 01:29:01,790
Work hard to bridge the gaps
in geography and lifestyle,
1561
01:29:02,170 --> 01:29:03,500
for as the older you get,
1562
01:29:04,256 --> 01:29:07,376
the more you need the people you knew
when you were young.
1563
01:29:09,678 --> 01:29:13,428
Live in New York City once,
but leave before it makes you hard.
1564
01:29:14,182 --> 01:29:15,812
Live in Northern California once,
1565
01:29:15,892 --> 01:29:18,772
but leave before it makes you soft.
1566
01:29:19,187 --> 01:29:20,187
Travel.
1567
01:29:21,481 --> 01:29:23,481
Don't mess too much with your hair
1568
01:29:23,567 --> 01:29:26,607
or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.
1569
01:29:28,363 --> 01:29:30,783
Be careful whose advice you buy,
1570
01:29:31,158 --> 01:29:33,738
but be patient with those who supply it.
1571
01:29:34,327 --> 01:29:37,077
Advice is a form of nostalgia.
1572
01:29:37,539 --> 01:29:41,419
Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past
from the disposal,
1573
01:29:41,501 --> 01:29:44,501
wiping it off,
painting over the ugly parts.
1574
01:29:45,005 --> 01:29:47,625
And recycling it for more than it's worth.
1575
01:29:49,259 --> 01:29:51,799
But trust me on the sunscreen.
123233
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