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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:02,100 --> 00:01:04,440 It's important you understand. 2 00:01:05,203 --> 00:01:07,563 It's not you, it's me. 3 00:01:08,815 --> 00:01:11,913 What we have is so special. 4 00:01:14,112 --> 00:01:16,766 I love you more than I can say, 5 00:01:17,358 --> 00:01:20,089 but I'm sorry, truly, 6 00:01:20,189 --> 00:01:22,924 because... I fucked up. 7 00:01:24,581 --> 00:01:25,638 Look... 8 00:01:25,738 --> 00:01:30,081 I owe you an explanation, but honestly, I don't know where to begin. 9 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:36,207 Well... 10 00:01:36,307 --> 00:01:39,458 maybe there, at the beginning. 11 00:01:39,758 --> 00:01:43,753 You see, I grew up above a great party. 12 00:02:00,118 --> 00:02:02,380 - Gordon! - Mommy? 13 00:02:02,481 --> 00:02:05,165 - She's in the kitchen. - What are you doing? 14 00:02:05,265 --> 00:02:08,491 I'm waiting for your mother to bring out the hors d'oeuvres. Now bugger off. 15 00:02:10,842 --> 00:02:14,200 After school, I used to love to listen to my father lecture. 16 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:18,170 Now the faculty would have me teach you it was Wordsworth, 17 00:02:18,270 --> 00:02:19,868 Keats, and Coleridge, 18 00:02:19,968 --> 00:02:24,865 who in writing about love, defined the Romantic age. 19 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:29,438 And they've told me to ignore Byron. 20 00:02:30,049 --> 00:02:33,520 Mad, bad, and dangerous to know was how one of his many lovers described him. 21 00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:36,255 He was controversial. 22 00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:40,170 Now did you know, this esteemed establishment told Byron 23 00:02:40,270 --> 00:02:42,879 that he wasn't allowed to bring his beloved dogs to college? 24 00:02:42,979 --> 00:02:46,699 So he said screw the rules. He went out and he bought himself a bear. 25 00:02:47,565 --> 00:02:52,222 Brought it to class on a chained leash. He tied up to that very pipe just there. 26 00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:57,895 So you see, it was Byron who defined the Romantic age, which wasn't about love. 27 00:02:57,995 --> 00:03:01,181 It was about going your own way, 28 00:03:01,281 --> 00:03:03,722 defying authority and following your heart, 29 00:03:03,822 --> 00:03:06,337 sticking it to the man, and as many women as possible. 30 00:03:06,437 --> 00:03:09,558 Now that... that is Romantic. 31 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:12,176 And if the faculty don't like me saying so, 32 00:03:12,276 --> 00:03:15,081 well, they can take this job and they can shove it. 33 00:03:15,181 --> 00:03:19,324 Because like Mr. Bob Dylan, I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more. 34 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:24,926 Dad hated authority, and everyone loved him for it. 35 00:03:25,026 --> 00:03:29,504 All I wanted was to be just like him. 36 00:03:33,685 --> 00:03:35,962 Forget the critics. 37 00:03:36,062 --> 00:03:38,440 Let them have their opinions. 38 00:03:38,540 --> 00:03:42,594 Let them publish their books and brag about them at tedious faculty parties, 39 00:03:42,694 --> 00:03:47,609 and let university librarians file those books away. 40 00:03:47,975 --> 00:03:50,803 The faculty has called this class 41 00:03:50,903 --> 00:03:55,457 "The Romantics and Literary Theory." 42 00:03:56,476 --> 00:04:00,305 I want you all to forget the second half of this sentence. 43 00:04:00,405 --> 00:04:04,319 There's nothing theoretical about the romantics. 44 00:04:07,195 --> 00:04:09,772 "Where true love burns, 45 00:04:09,872 --> 00:04:14,679 "desire is love's pure passion. 46 00:04:15,453 --> 00:04:18,331 "It is the reflex 47 00:04:18,431 --> 00:04:21,084 "of our earthly frame... 48 00:04:21,902 --> 00:04:24,930 "that takes its meaning from the nobler part 49 00:04:25,030 --> 00:04:27,714 and but translates... 50 00:04:28,114 --> 00:04:30,925 the language of the heart." 51 00:04:33,972 --> 00:04:36,819 Wakey, wakey, Professor Haig. 52 00:04:38,210 --> 00:04:41,757 Oh, shit. It's Saturday, isn't it? 53 00:04:41,858 --> 00:04:44,683 No, don't look like that. Are you sure about this? 54 00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:46,811 I mean, I make a terrible first impression. 55 00:04:46,911 --> 00:04:50,682 Will you relax, Richard? My dad is gonna love you. 56 00:04:50,782 --> 00:04:53,651 - Really? - Yeah, you'll have lots to talk about. 57 00:04:53,751 --> 00:04:57,911 Yeah? Corporate hard-nosed raider meets libidinous lit professor. 58 00:04:58,011 --> 00:05:00,276 - It's a match made in heaven. - I just want my dad 59 00:05:00,376 --> 00:05:03,400 to meet the wonderful man I've been dating for the last six months. 60 00:05:03,500 --> 00:05:05,905 - Six months? - Broke your record, didn't I? 61 00:05:06,406 --> 00:05:09,534 - Crazy. - "Love is begun by time, 62 00:05:09,634 --> 00:05:14,041 and time qualifies the spark and fire of it all." 63 00:05:14,690 --> 00:05:17,984 Relax, you're still very sparky, darling. Really sparky, I mean... 64 00:05:18,084 --> 00:05:22,355 Well, my liege, I must hie me to Heathrow, thou to London, 65 00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:25,831 - chimes of 6:00 sharp. - Sure, of course. 66 00:05:25,941 --> 00:05:28,864 - Sharp. - Sharp. 6:00. Chimes. 67 00:05:55,498 --> 00:05:57,150 Sal. 68 00:05:57,250 --> 00:06:00,430 Sal, I've got to go. Why? 69 00:06:00,530 --> 00:06:05,083 Because we've been talking for so long I've lost track of time, space, and myself. 70 00:06:06,729 --> 00:06:09,793 Hello? Hello? Olivia? 71 00:06:10,093 --> 00:06:12,389 - Not to worry, madame. - I'll call maintenance. 72 00:06:12,489 --> 00:06:15,077 - We'll fish it out later. - Are you there? Can you hear me? 73 00:06:15,177 --> 00:06:17,910 - Please don't. - Hello? 74 00:06:18,539 --> 00:06:20,326 Olivia? 75 00:06:39,678 --> 00:06:41,337 A�pa! 76 00:06:41,437 --> 00:06:45,326 There you go. They fishing your phone out of the drain? 77 00:06:47,969 --> 00:06:49,304 No. 78 00:06:49,404 --> 00:06:54,235 I told them not to. I am cutting myself off from the world. 79 00:06:54,518 --> 00:06:57,356 Footloose, fancy-free. 80 00:06:59,114 --> 00:07:03,158 Won't that be lonely? An island unto yourself? 81 00:07:03,258 --> 00:07:05,279 - No. - Madame? 82 00:07:05,379 --> 00:07:08,074 - Can I have a glass of red wine, please? - Yes, madame. 83 00:07:08,174 --> 00:07:13,874 No. I would populate the island with all new people. 84 00:07:14,939 --> 00:07:17,366 People that I actually like. 85 00:07:17,466 --> 00:07:19,525 Yes, but then things change. 86 00:07:19,625 --> 00:07:21,711 The people you thought you'd like... 87 00:07:21,811 --> 00:07:24,300 turn out to be as bad as the people you left behind. 88 00:07:24,580 --> 00:07:28,500 Soon you're moving to another island, and so it goes on, ad infinitum. 89 00:07:29,219 --> 00:07:33,158 You know my solution? Get along with everyone. 90 00:07:33,832 --> 00:07:35,701 Really? 91 00:07:36,101 --> 00:07:40,882 Then why are you here alone in a hotel bar on a Saturday night? 92 00:07:41,082 --> 00:07:43,919 Well, I certainly wouldn't keep you waiting. 93 00:07:45,010 --> 00:07:49,206 Exactly. Because you never know what kind of... 94 00:07:49,306 --> 00:07:52,661 handsome stranger I might start talking to. 95 00:07:57,023 --> 00:08:00,659 "I do desire we become better strangers." 96 00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:03,255 Pulling out the Shakespeare. 97 00:08:03,355 --> 00:08:05,414 Is that line successful for you normally? 98 00:08:05,514 --> 00:08:08,300 I had my moments with it, you know? 99 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:09,994 Comme ci, comme ca. 100 00:08:10,094 --> 00:08:12,924 Excuse me, sir. Ma'am. 101 00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:19,329 Thank you. You're so kind. 102 00:08:19,829 --> 00:08:22,166 There you go. Back on the grid. 103 00:08:22,774 --> 00:08:24,935 Why is that the most helpful people 104 00:08:25,035 --> 00:08:27,953 are always around when you do not want any help? 105 00:08:28,053 --> 00:08:31,557 Give him a minute. He'll be back with a shoemaker. 106 00:08:33,451 --> 00:08:37,723 On the other hand, it's nice to be looked after every now and then. 107 00:08:37,823 --> 00:08:40,951 The other day I found myself opening a door for a man. 108 00:08:41,051 --> 00:08:43,279 What happened to chivalry? 109 00:08:44,029 --> 00:08:47,308 - You know why guys open doors for women? - No. 110 00:08:47,408 --> 00:08:49,635 So we can check out your asses as you walk by. 111 00:08:49,735 --> 00:08:52,842 Well, you're just full of all these amazing insights, aren't you? 112 00:08:52,943 --> 00:08:57,029 I can tell within one minute of meeting someone... 113 00:08:58,602 --> 00:09:00,339 if I want to be with them. 114 00:09:01,380 --> 00:09:03,465 How about me? 115 00:09:03,566 --> 00:09:05,303 Do you want to be with me? 116 00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:08,582 Yes. 117 00:09:09,739 --> 00:09:12,010 For one more minute. 118 00:09:13,593 --> 00:09:15,243 Okay. 119 00:09:16,879 --> 00:09:19,387 You've got a minute. 120 00:09:20,108 --> 00:09:22,629 What are you going to do with it? 121 00:09:26,832 --> 00:09:30,102 Olivia? Oh, my God! Hi! 122 00:09:30,202 --> 00:09:32,439 What are you doing here? 123 00:09:34,047 --> 00:09:37,526 I was in Dublin in the book festival, 124 00:09:37,626 --> 00:09:39,860 and Dad called me and told me that you were coming, 125 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:43,791 that he was meeting you here, and that I should come and surprise you. Surprise! 126 00:09:43,891 --> 00:09:46,652 - He flaked on us, didn't he? - Yes. 127 00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:49,257 So how did you two make the connection? Hi! 128 00:09:51,290 --> 00:09:53,256 You're the famous Olivia? 129 00:09:54,685 --> 00:09:59,774 My beautiful sister Olivia. Olivia, my gorgeous Englishman... 130 00:09:59,874 --> 00:10:03,213 - ... Richard Haig. Thank you. - You look great. 131 00:10:05,622 --> 00:10:09,017 So me, my dad, and my mom are staying at this hotel that we always stay at, 132 00:10:09,117 --> 00:10:13,722 and my dad keeps running off saying he has meetings, or appointments, or whatever. 133 00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:17,467 And finally my mom gets fed up, and she decides to tail him one day 134 00:10:17,767 --> 00:10:20,079 to one of his "meetings". 135 00:10:20,329 --> 00:10:23,048 Ends up following him to the other end of the beach 136 00:10:23,148 --> 00:10:26,903 where Livvy is staying with her mom. 137 00:10:27,469 --> 00:10:30,330 And all hell breaks loose. 138 00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:32,792 Our dad is leading a double life, 139 00:10:32,892 --> 00:10:37,062 - like raising two families at the same time. - What a naughty boy. 140 00:10:37,162 --> 00:10:39,834 Right? Crazy. 141 00:10:42,952 --> 00:10:44,701 Anyway... 142 00:10:45,202 --> 00:10:49,935 I take Kate to the beach, I'm sitting there and I'm trying to process everything. 143 00:10:50,035 --> 00:10:53,689 What my father did, my poor mom, 144 00:10:53,789 --> 00:10:56,341 and the fact that I have this little lovely sister. 145 00:10:56,441 --> 00:10:59,110 For me, I mean, I was stoked. I always wanted a big sister. 146 00:10:59,210 --> 00:11:04,958 And I decide the only way we can protect each other from this craziness 147 00:11:05,259 --> 00:11:09,774 is if Kate and I make a pact, no secrets. 148 00:11:09,874 --> 00:11:12,041 Absolute honesty. 149 00:11:12,141 --> 00:11:15,903 From this day forward, we would tell each other everything. 150 00:11:16,003 --> 00:11:18,375 No matter what, always. 151 00:11:18,475 --> 00:11:22,359 And we have. And we're, like, best friends. 152 00:11:22,459 --> 00:11:24,236 So, Livvy... 153 00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:26,909 how is your Alan? 154 00:11:29,083 --> 00:11:30,818 What? 155 00:11:31,535 --> 00:11:33,168 Please. Tell us about Alan. 156 00:11:35,122 --> 00:11:37,136 He's great. 157 00:11:37,584 --> 00:11:41,947 Livvy's Alan is the Alan Sloan. You know, the romance writer? 158 00:11:42,047 --> 00:11:44,574 And Livvy edits his books, and they're totally in love. 159 00:11:44,674 --> 00:11:47,644 Madly and totally in love with a romance writer. 160 00:11:47,745 --> 00:11:50,463 - That sounds fascinating. - Well, 161 00:11:50,563 --> 00:11:55,085 no more than the Romantics professor's passion for his students, surely. 162 00:11:55,185 --> 00:11:57,354 - Livvy, be nice. - Yes, Kate. 163 00:11:57,455 --> 00:11:59,507 Would either of you like a little taste of my steak? 164 00:11:59,607 --> 00:12:02,278 - No thanks. - It's very tender. 165 00:12:05,996 --> 00:12:09,035 - You're unbelievable, aren't you? - I'm sorry? 166 00:12:09,135 --> 00:12:12,436 Of course. On the verge of graduating, going home. 167 00:12:12,536 --> 00:12:14,313 She's the perfect catch for you, isn't she? 168 00:12:14,413 --> 00:12:16,683 - Hey. - I get it. I get it. 169 00:12:16,783 --> 00:12:20,361 He's hot, and funny, and smart, 170 00:12:20,461 --> 00:12:23,122 and he's got the suave accent. 171 00:12:23,222 --> 00:12:27,730 But all I see is a lothario with an eternally wandering eye 172 00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:30,397 who simply charmed the pants off you, literally. 173 00:12:30,497 --> 00:12:35,627 - Livvy, what are you doing? - Kate, I know this feels like love, 174 00:12:35,727 --> 00:12:39,547 but no, no, no, no. This is not love. This is a fling. 175 00:12:39,647 --> 00:12:41,992 How do you know? What are you even saying? 176 00:12:42,092 --> 00:12:46,501 Obviously, you're looking for a father figure, but in our case 177 00:12:46,601 --> 00:12:52,363 it means a self-centered, cheating womanizer who's not to be trusted. 178 00:12:52,464 --> 00:12:54,888 And you're just so young, you can't see it. 179 00:12:54,988 --> 00:12:57,007 How young were you when you ran off with Anwar. 180 00:12:57,107 --> 00:12:59,627 - We thought I was pregnant! - Well, I am. 181 00:13:00,539 --> 00:13:02,513 - What? - What? 182 00:13:02,613 --> 00:13:06,777 - I wanted to tell you earlier, but... - Pregnant? With a baby? 183 00:13:08,086 --> 00:13:09,499 Yeah. 184 00:13:09,599 --> 00:13:13,107 I wanted to tell you another way, but this is like so weird, I just... 185 00:13:13,207 --> 00:13:16,856 No, this is the perfect way. This is really the perfect way, I think. 186 00:13:18,312 --> 00:13:21,791 You know what? This is great. Really great. 187 00:13:21,891 --> 00:13:26,238 - Well, that was so heartfelt. - Livvy. Livvy. 188 00:13:26,338 --> 00:13:28,574 Thank you so much for supper. 189 00:13:28,674 --> 00:13:31,476 Remind me never to do this again. 190 00:13:31,576 --> 00:13:33,996 I'm just going to go outside and get some fresh air. 191 00:13:34,096 --> 00:13:35,564 - What do you mean? - Excuse me. Air. 192 00:13:35,664 --> 00:13:37,456 - Yeah, run. - What? 193 00:13:37,867 --> 00:13:39,526 - Richard? - Yeah? 194 00:13:39,626 --> 00:13:41,295 - Richard? Look. - Yeah, I'm here. 195 00:13:41,395 --> 00:13:45,991 I know I just dropped a bomb on you back there, so right here, right now, 196 00:13:46,091 --> 00:13:48,678 - I'm giving you the out. - I just want some air, that's all. 197 00:13:48,778 --> 00:13:53,200 You just need some time to think. It's fine. I get it. 198 00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:58,154 So I'm moving to LA. 199 00:13:58,254 --> 00:14:01,024 I got a really cool job at a venture capital firm. 200 00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:04,077 - You're full of surprises today. - You'll love LA. 201 00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:07,764 It'll be like Cambridge-ish, but with a lot of palm trees, 202 00:14:07,864 --> 00:14:11,394 and, like, chicks with tans and stuff. 203 00:14:13,887 --> 00:14:17,040 - Oh, honey, you're all clammy. - I just need some air. That's all, really. 204 00:14:17,140 --> 00:14:18,734 - Okay. - Yeah, okay. 205 00:14:18,834 --> 00:14:21,752 I'll be back in there. Go ahead. You go. 206 00:14:22,379 --> 00:14:24,147 - Richard. - Yeah? 207 00:14:24,548 --> 00:14:29,190 - You're going to be a great father. - Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 208 00:14:38,179 --> 00:14:40,694 Did you have a good dinner then, sir? 209 00:14:58,106 --> 00:15:01,703 All right, where the buggering hell have you been? I said 6:00. 210 00:15:01,803 --> 00:15:06,697 Sorry about that, Dad. Didn't realize your grumbling ran on such a tight schedule. 211 00:15:07,567 --> 00:15:10,514 Bloody miserable out there, as usual. 212 00:15:15,783 --> 00:15:17,210 Don't touch that. 213 00:15:17,311 --> 00:15:19,605 Good God, Dad. I'm not five years old. 214 00:15:19,705 --> 00:15:22,683 - Hi, Richard, dear. - Hello, Joan. 215 00:15:22,783 --> 00:15:27,613 - How is everything? - Oh, just terrific. Thanks for asking. 216 00:15:27,713 --> 00:15:31,009 You still boffing that Yank totty, are you? 217 00:15:31,409 --> 00:15:33,995 Yes, she's a great girl. 218 00:15:34,095 --> 00:15:37,173 Bright, beautiful, ambitious. 219 00:15:37,273 --> 00:15:41,658 You mean a horrible little upstart determined to go places. 220 00:15:41,778 --> 00:15:45,565 So, tell me, when are you going to start going places? 221 00:15:45,665 --> 00:15:47,384 - Good God. Please. - Oh, come on. Jesus. 222 00:15:47,484 --> 00:15:49,370 Come on, when I was your age, 223 00:15:49,470 --> 00:15:52,439 I mean, I'd been the head of the department for seven years. 224 00:15:52,539 --> 00:15:55,708 Yeah, and it made you so happy, didn't it, Dad? 225 00:15:55,808 --> 00:15:57,760 All right, what's the grievance today? 226 00:15:57,861 --> 00:16:01,774 Split infinitives, too many used? Too many women with jobs? 227 00:16:01,874 --> 00:16:05,769 It's his waterworks. He's got to go back into hospital next week. 228 00:16:05,869 --> 00:16:08,841 Stop talking about my cock, woman. 229 00:16:14,278 --> 00:16:16,732 Tell me something, Dad. 230 00:16:20,826 --> 00:16:22,895 Why did you and Mom get married? 231 00:16:22,996 --> 00:16:26,524 What kind of an inane question is that for a Thursday evening? 232 00:16:26,624 --> 00:16:29,218 For a man who revels in reckless promiscuity, 233 00:16:29,368 --> 00:16:31,990 your four marriages do beg some questions. 234 00:16:33,848 --> 00:16:36,996 Your mother fed me regularly. 235 00:16:37,096 --> 00:16:40,464 She pleasured me half decently now and then. 236 00:16:40,564 --> 00:16:44,943 - What more could a man want? - Oh, I don't know, friendship? 237 00:16:45,043 --> 00:16:48,974 Someone to see the world with, have a laugh with? 238 00:16:49,214 --> 00:16:51,543 Maybe even start a family with. 239 00:16:52,592 --> 00:16:55,462 Good God, man. 240 00:16:55,562 --> 00:16:59,033 You've fallen for that little slice of American pie. 241 00:16:59,133 --> 00:17:00,843 - Dad... - Now you listen to me. 242 00:17:00,943 --> 00:17:05,598 This might be the most important bit of advice that I ever give you. 243 00:17:06,549 --> 00:17:11,566 American women may be fun and Victoria's Secret when you first bed them, 244 00:17:11,666 --> 00:17:15,325 but as soon as they get their claws into you, they stop fucking 245 00:17:15,425 --> 00:17:20,658 and start eating, and the only ass you're going to get is a fat one. 246 00:17:20,758 --> 00:17:21,913 Why did open my mouth? 247 00:17:22,013 --> 00:17:27,729 American women invariably become spouters of self-help platitudes, 248 00:17:27,829 --> 00:17:32,743 they're addicted to designer labels, dieting, and frozen yogurt. 249 00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:37,305 Overall, thoroughly nasty, selfish, vain creatures 250 00:17:37,406 --> 00:17:40,786 that don't fuck! 251 00:17:41,852 --> 00:17:45,101 Thank you for your fatherly advice. 252 00:17:45,414 --> 00:17:47,445 Good night, Joan. 253 00:17:49,293 --> 00:17:53,365 Bugger off then! See if I care. 254 00:18:00,429 --> 00:18:02,940 Kate! Kate! 255 00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:06,068 Screw Cambridge. I'm in. 256 00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:07,752 - Really? - Really. 257 00:18:07,852 --> 00:18:10,392 - Really? - Yes, come on! 258 00:18:12,884 --> 00:18:16,454 Up and away we set off 259 00:18:16,904 --> 00:18:20,502 Secretly scared we'd get lost 260 00:18:21,084 --> 00:18:25,113 Up in the clouds over the town 261 00:18:25,213 --> 00:18:27,888 Beyond the wall 262 00:18:29,201 --> 00:18:33,205 Some of us knew we might fall 263 00:18:33,305 --> 00:18:37,104 Under the weight of it all 264 00:18:37,310 --> 00:18:41,347 And though we'd been warned of the oncoming storms 265 00:18:41,447 --> 00:18:44,688 Still we stood tall 266 00:18:45,676 --> 00:18:49,482 So from the moonlight 267 00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:53,810 Straight to the sunrise 268 00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:57,656 This will be our time 269 00:18:57,914 --> 00:19:02,047 Free-falling nosedive 270 00:19:09,017 --> 00:19:11,361 Look into the world, Jakey. 271 00:19:12,095 --> 00:19:14,722 It's a beautiful world. 272 00:19:16,458 --> 00:19:19,269 Do you need the booby now? Do you want the booby? 273 00:19:19,369 --> 00:19:23,240 Yes. There's a boy after my own heart. 274 00:19:26,594 --> 00:19:30,352 The whole world in our sights 275 00:19:30,452 --> 00:19:34,526 Like a miniature paradise... 276 00:19:39,957 --> 00:19:43,609 Okay, family, here we go. 277 00:19:43,709 --> 00:19:48,074 Here you are, Jakey. Welcome home. A modest little house... 278 00:19:48,174 --> 00:19:50,554 which your granddad bought your mom out of guilt. 279 00:19:50,655 --> 00:19:52,821 - Don't fall in the pool. - I won't. 280 00:19:52,921 --> 00:19:55,089 You probably will never meet anyway. 281 00:19:55,189 --> 00:19:57,301 He has a very bad habit of never showing up. 282 00:19:57,402 --> 00:19:58,621 Hey. 283 00:20:00,186 --> 00:20:01,932 All right. 284 00:20:07,086 --> 00:20:09,804 Oh, I'm going to call Livvy. Can you take the baby? 285 00:20:09,905 --> 00:20:11,856 - Sure. - Okay. 286 00:20:11,956 --> 00:20:13,494 Okay. 287 00:20:45,575 --> 00:20:48,831 I know it's easier to read the critics and the CliffNotes, 288 00:20:49,921 --> 00:20:51,990 but forget about them. 289 00:20:52,090 --> 00:20:56,152 Read the poems. Put the time in. 290 00:20:56,553 --> 00:21:02,175 After all, "Nothing will come of nothing." 291 00:21:03,594 --> 00:21:05,642 What was that from? 292 00:21:10,234 --> 00:21:11,778 Anyone? 293 00:21:12,779 --> 00:21:15,623 - Hey. There you go. - I'm having trouble getting on the Wi-Fi. 294 00:21:15,723 --> 00:21:17,010 What's the password again? 295 00:21:18,626 --> 00:21:21,054 I think they're all on Prozac. 296 00:21:21,154 --> 00:21:23,731 Did you hear from the university yet? 297 00:21:24,932 --> 00:21:28,527 - No. They went with the other guy. - I told you to kiss ass more. 298 00:21:28,627 --> 00:21:32,073 - Angela, please. - I'm sure something will open up soon at ULA. 299 00:21:32,173 --> 00:21:34,427 Yeah, well, one can only hope, can't one? 300 00:21:34,527 --> 00:21:37,770 In the meantime, I'm glad that you're still slumming it here with us. 301 00:21:37,871 --> 00:21:40,398 You city college lot don't pull any punches do you? 302 00:21:40,498 --> 00:21:43,144 - We will go 16 rounds with anyone. - Bring it on. 303 00:21:58,117 --> 00:21:59,912 Asshole. 304 00:22:00,828 --> 00:22:02,313 Asshole. 305 00:22:02,413 --> 00:22:05,399 Never let me hear you say that word, Jake. 306 00:22:05,900 --> 00:22:09,829 The word is "ahh's-hole" not "aah's-hole." Can you say "ahh's-hole?" 307 00:22:09,929 --> 00:22:13,324 - Asshole. - Yes, elongate the A. 308 00:22:14,082 --> 00:22:15,403 There we go. 309 00:22:15,835 --> 00:22:18,214 I'll get them. I'll get them. 310 00:22:20,557 --> 00:22:23,744 - Mama! - No, mama is at work. 311 00:22:25,145 --> 00:22:28,009 - She'll be back later. - Mama. 312 00:22:32,602 --> 00:22:36,093 No, that's Hummer. Hummer. 313 00:22:36,490 --> 00:22:38,258 Well done. Hummer. 314 00:22:38,358 --> 00:22:39,702 - Pull over. - What? 315 00:22:39,802 --> 00:22:43,051 - Pull over! Listen to this voicemail. - I can't pull over. 316 00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:47,002 I thought he was saying "mama," 317 00:22:47,102 --> 00:22:51,071 and then I realized he was pointing at one of those absurdly oversized tanks 318 00:22:51,171 --> 00:22:55,326 driven no doubt by some idiot with an absurdly undersized penis. 319 00:22:55,426 --> 00:22:57,703 - This is not an oversized car. - All right. 320 00:22:58,204 --> 00:22:59,715 He knows. 321 00:23:07,188 --> 00:23:10,324 - Hey there, sexy. Where are you? - I'm in New York. 322 00:23:10,424 --> 00:23:12,318 Honey, do I look chunky? 323 00:23:12,418 --> 00:23:14,555 Didn't mean to call you sexy. Wrong person. 324 00:23:15,955 --> 00:23:18,482 No, I look good. 325 00:23:19,092 --> 00:23:20,635 Very funny. Is Kate there? 326 00:23:20,735 --> 00:23:23,788 She's not back yet, still banking. Busy counting things. 327 00:23:23,888 --> 00:23:26,516 Well, tell her to call me right, right away, 328 00:23:26,616 --> 00:23:28,944 because I have something really big to tell her. 329 00:23:29,044 --> 00:23:32,306 No secrets in the family. Pray tell. 330 00:23:32,406 --> 00:23:34,433 I can't believe that I'm about to tell you... 331 00:23:34,533 --> 00:23:38,733 Richard, I don't know why this is so hard for me. 332 00:23:38,833 --> 00:23:41,807 I've been trying to tell you now for weeks. 333 00:23:41,907 --> 00:23:45,638 - Alan's asked me to marry him. - I'm in love with somebody else. 334 00:23:46,687 --> 00:23:48,364 You're what? 335 00:23:48,464 --> 00:23:52,110 We're getting married! Don't act so surprised that somebody asked me. 336 00:23:52,210 --> 00:23:54,304 - Are you on the phone? - Who is it? 337 00:23:54,404 --> 00:23:57,047 - Who are you talking to? - Answer the question. Who is it? 338 00:23:57,147 --> 00:24:00,311 - I just did! - Who's on the phone? 339 00:24:01,269 --> 00:24:02,663 - Hello? - Kate! Kate! 340 00:24:02,763 --> 00:24:06,374 - I have to call you back. - What? Hello? 341 00:24:07,075 --> 00:24:12,038 I was just, I mean... I was really young, okay? Really young. 342 00:24:12,138 --> 00:24:15,834 Not that you're not, of course. But I really thought that I loved you, 343 00:24:15,934 --> 00:24:18,395 but clearly I was working through daddy issues. 344 00:24:18,495 --> 00:24:23,968 And then I got pregnant, and you were just trying to do the right thing. 345 00:24:24,068 --> 00:24:28,867 And you've been a really good father, but let's face it, you never really loved me. 346 00:24:28,967 --> 00:24:32,493 - But Brian does. - Brian? Brian? 347 00:24:32,594 --> 00:24:34,579 That little idiot from the office? 348 00:24:34,679 --> 00:24:39,275 He likes to talk to me about start-ups and acquisitions and exit strategies. 349 00:24:39,376 --> 00:24:41,944 I mean, all the stuff that you think is so boring about me. 350 00:24:42,044 --> 00:24:43,921 It is boring. God. 351 00:24:44,021 --> 00:24:48,201 Why do you have to be so goddamn English? Talk to me! 352 00:24:48,501 --> 00:24:53,298 You can leave me, but I am not leaving that boy. 353 00:24:53,398 --> 00:24:55,083 Brian. 354 00:24:55,784 --> 00:24:57,540 Richard, 355 00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:00,021 why can't you just talk to me? 356 00:25:11,091 --> 00:25:13,852 Now, I know two years in the pool house 357 00:25:13,952 --> 00:25:16,830 makes me look a little a nut, but I'll say two things. 358 00:25:16,930 --> 00:25:19,984 First, your mom and Brian hated me being there, 359 00:25:20,084 --> 00:25:22,561 which was the most wonderful incentive to stay. 360 00:25:22,661 --> 00:25:24,315 And secondly... 361 00:25:25,965 --> 00:25:28,394 I wanted to be close to you. 362 00:25:29,052 --> 00:25:31,197 Good morning. 363 00:25:32,506 --> 00:25:35,463 I think you're going to want to see this. 364 00:25:35,659 --> 00:25:39,279 - Oh, let me see it. - Is the big bad professor awake yet? 365 00:25:39,379 --> 00:25:43,425 Jake to Dad. Breaker, breaker. You got your ears on? 366 00:25:43,525 --> 00:25:45,085 - Okay. - Are you awake? 367 00:25:45,185 --> 00:25:49,691 - It's Jakey. Just a second. - Get up! Are you having a sleepover? 368 00:25:50,690 --> 00:25:53,535 Hi, Jakey! Good morning. 369 00:25:53,635 --> 00:25:56,163 - Where are you? - Can I come and play? 370 00:25:56,263 --> 00:25:57,923 Just a second, Jakey. 371 00:25:58,023 --> 00:26:00,325 - Hey. - Hi! 372 00:26:00,425 --> 00:26:03,649 Would you mind just skedaddling for now? It's my son. 373 00:26:03,749 --> 00:26:06,974 Your son? I love kids! I babysit! 374 00:26:07,074 --> 00:26:09,410 - Sorry about this. The perils of parenthood. - It's okay. 375 00:26:09,510 --> 00:26:11,231 - Come and see me during the week. - When? 376 00:26:11,331 --> 00:26:14,157 - Make it a surprise. - Oh, I love surprises! Okay, I will. 377 00:26:14,257 --> 00:26:16,505 Okay, good-bye. 378 00:26:16,605 --> 00:26:19,043 - Who was that? - Oh, just a friend of mine. 379 00:26:19,143 --> 00:26:22,167 Very busy lady. She had to leave. There you go. 380 00:26:23,291 --> 00:26:25,032 Aren't these uncomfortable? 381 00:26:25,132 --> 00:26:28,505 That's why girls love it when you take them off. Let's get some pancakes. 382 00:26:28,605 --> 00:26:30,256 Dad, get on with it. 383 00:26:30,824 --> 00:26:33,538 So there we were. 384 00:26:34,778 --> 00:26:36,544 And then... 385 00:26:36,844 --> 00:26:38,479 last week... 386 00:26:38,579 --> 00:26:41,043 everything went pear-shaped. 387 00:26:41,143 --> 00:26:43,505 I have the papers you asked for. 388 00:26:44,922 --> 00:26:49,053 - Will that be all, professor? - For now, yes, thanks. 389 00:26:51,971 --> 00:26:53,691 Great. 390 00:26:54,448 --> 00:26:56,185 Excuse me. 391 00:26:57,351 --> 00:26:59,429 Newest member of the TA of the month club? 392 00:26:59,529 --> 00:27:01,728 How dare you insinuate such a thing? 393 00:27:01,828 --> 00:27:05,337 - You have a visitor. Be nice. - Send them in. 394 00:27:06,286 --> 00:27:07,680 Thank you. 395 00:27:11,491 --> 00:27:14,903 - Professor Pickard, what a delight! - How's your father these days? 396 00:27:15,003 --> 00:27:18,514 - Loving life. He is happy as a clam. - That's good to hear. 397 00:27:18,614 --> 00:27:21,927 Well, I received your application for the position at the University. 398 00:27:22,027 --> 00:27:25,856 I was in the area, so I thought I would just pop by and invite you to a soir�e 399 00:27:25,956 --> 00:27:27,791 - I'm giving tomorrow. - Splendid. 400 00:27:27,891 --> 00:27:29,776 The faculty will be there, of course. 401 00:27:29,876 --> 00:27:33,489 I thought it might be a good idea if you do come by and just sort of butter them up. 402 00:27:33,589 --> 00:27:36,772 Not me, by the way. I consider myself lavishly buttered. 403 00:27:36,872 --> 00:27:38,502 Oh, well, that's good to know. 404 00:27:38,602 --> 00:27:41,488 - So we'll see you there. - Wouldn't miss it for the world. 405 00:27:42,990 --> 00:27:45,301 "Dustin Kalarney" just sold its 5 millionth copy. 406 00:27:45,401 --> 00:27:47,754 - You're unbelievable. - What? 407 00:27:47,854 --> 00:27:52,609 Here I am, splayed out like an open-faced sandwich so we can have a baby, 408 00:27:52,709 --> 00:27:55,603 - and all you care about... - Mr. Sloan. 409 00:27:56,070 --> 00:27:58,456 Would you mind signing a copy of your book for me? 410 00:27:58,556 --> 00:28:02,527 - Of course. Did you like it? - Are you kidding? It was great. 411 00:28:02,627 --> 00:28:05,828 Really? Is that Desiree two Es or one E? 412 00:28:07,446 --> 00:28:09,401 What the hell was that for? 413 00:28:09,501 --> 00:28:12,589 Oops, it slipped. Can I have my phone back, please? 414 00:28:14,197 --> 00:28:16,558 There you go, you can do it. Just concentrate. 415 00:28:16,659 --> 00:28:20,696 - Nice big swing. That's it. - Dad, I suck. 416 00:28:20,796 --> 00:28:23,816 No, you don't, you don't. You look great, just eye on the ball. 417 00:28:23,916 --> 00:28:27,654 Who's here! Jakey, what up, dawg? Yo, give me some love. 418 00:28:27,754 --> 00:28:29,305 Blow it up. Blow it up. 419 00:28:29,405 --> 00:28:31,525 - Jellyfish sting! - Jellyfish sting! 420 00:28:31,625 --> 00:28:34,043 Lots of love. We were just playing a little ball here. 421 00:28:34,143 --> 00:28:36,437 - Right. Sorry, sorry. - That's all right. Okay. 422 00:28:37,384 --> 00:28:40,108 What are you doing? You're a righty. You got to switch your hands around. 423 00:28:40,208 --> 00:28:43,853 - Come around there. Bat up! - Eye on the ball. Hit it to Dad! 424 00:28:44,578 --> 00:28:47,791 Sorry, Dad! Are you okay? Are you okay? 425 00:28:47,891 --> 00:28:51,736 I'm okay, son. I'm all right. Just... occupational hazard. 426 00:28:51,836 --> 00:28:55,357 - That looks pretty bad. - No, this. It's okay. 427 00:28:55,457 --> 00:28:57,301 Jakey! 428 00:28:57,551 --> 00:28:58,868 - Hey. - Hey. 429 00:28:58,968 --> 00:29:02,643 - Did you remember Atlanta? - Yeah. No? Atlanta? 430 00:29:02,743 --> 00:29:05,417 - Brian and I, four days, conference. - Got it. 431 00:29:05,517 --> 00:29:08,413 - We leave the day after tomorrow. - Good. Sounds good. I'll be there. 432 00:29:08,513 --> 00:29:10,130 - No, you'll be here. - I'll be here. 433 00:29:10,230 --> 00:29:12,162 - Yeah. Here's Jakey's schedule. - Great. 434 00:29:12,262 --> 00:29:14,559 I left a copy in your room and another one on the fridge. 435 00:29:14,660 --> 00:29:17,107 - All right. That's good. - So, yeah. 436 00:29:17,207 --> 00:29:19,166 I'm on it. Jawohl! 437 00:29:20,374 --> 00:29:22,119 Okay. 438 00:29:23,252 --> 00:29:25,404 No, I understand, 439 00:29:25,504 --> 00:29:29,954 but I strongly believe that three slaves is enough. It's enough. Come on. 440 00:29:39,269 --> 00:29:41,156 You! 441 00:29:46,076 --> 00:29:47,896 Dr. Collins! 442 00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:53,327 Son of a bitch! 443 00:29:57,987 --> 00:29:59,908 Yeah! 444 00:30:00,849 --> 00:30:02,636 Jesus. 445 00:30:04,169 --> 00:30:05,938 Come in. 446 00:30:06,338 --> 00:30:09,124 - Shouldn't you be at work? - Yeah, covering the Asian markets. 447 00:30:09,725 --> 00:30:12,545 Oh, hey, by the way, I can get you in on a pretty sweet no-load. 448 00:30:12,645 --> 00:30:15,936 These guys are killing it right now. I can get you 15%, 18%. Just say the word. 449 00:30:16,036 --> 00:30:18,283 The word is no. What is it you want? I'm busy. 450 00:30:18,384 --> 00:30:20,906 This letter came for you. It's about your green card. I'm sorry. 451 00:30:21,006 --> 00:30:23,548 - I opened it before I saw who... - Just read it, Brian, thank you. 452 00:30:23,648 --> 00:30:26,654 - I mean, you've opened it. Just read it. - All right. "This is your final warning. 453 00:30:26,754 --> 00:30:29,387 If you and your spouse fail to attend your interview next week, 454 00:30:29,487 --> 00:30:32,467 deportation proceedings will be initiated." 455 00:30:35,601 --> 00:30:39,116 Blimey, mate. Looks like you could be in a spot of bother with the Bobbies. 456 00:30:40,616 --> 00:30:43,827 Keep working on the accent, Brian. Close the door on the way out. 457 00:30:43,927 --> 00:30:46,262 - Cheerio. - Shut up. 458 00:30:46,363 --> 00:30:49,952 I love the dentist. I'm not drooling, am I? 459 00:30:50,792 --> 00:30:52,861 Hello, Mr. Haig. 460 00:30:52,961 --> 00:30:55,606 You can't drink alcohol when taking this medication. 461 00:30:55,706 --> 00:30:56,740 - Really? - Yes. 462 00:30:56,840 --> 00:30:57,801 - No? - No. 463 00:30:57,901 --> 00:31:00,311 Absolutely not. Wouldn't dream of it. Thank you so much. 464 00:31:00,411 --> 00:31:01,804 - No alcohol. - Good. 465 00:31:01,904 --> 00:31:03,731 - We'll see you soon. - Can't wait. 466 00:31:03,831 --> 00:31:06,000 Look forward to it. Thank you so much. 467 00:31:06,100 --> 00:31:07,727 - No alcohol. - No alcohol. 468 00:31:07,827 --> 00:31:09,748 - I mean it. - I mean it, too. 469 00:31:16,469 --> 00:31:19,406 Okay, let's go this way. Any time you feel like it, 470 00:31:19,506 --> 00:31:23,017 - jump in and lavish me with praise. - Copy that. 471 00:31:23,118 --> 00:31:26,013 - So glad you could make it! - Oh, thank you! 472 00:31:26,113 --> 00:31:27,597 - Here you are. - Thanks. Wonderful. 473 00:31:27,797 --> 00:31:32,460 Please, help yourself to refreshments. My wife made her famous cheese balls. 474 00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:35,347 Please be sure to try one and compliment her accordingly. 475 00:31:35,447 --> 00:31:37,324 Will do. 476 00:31:38,926 --> 00:31:42,955 There are some very, very important people here. I'd like you to meet them. 477 00:31:43,055 --> 00:31:46,154 And they are your kind of people, Richard. 478 00:31:46,255 --> 00:31:48,242 Come this way. 479 00:31:51,105 --> 00:31:54,742 My dear colleagues, this is Richard Haig. 480 00:31:54,842 --> 00:31:57,275 This is Professor Vale, Bates, Berg, 481 00:31:57,375 --> 00:31:59,074 - Ang and Professor Jones. - Hello. 482 00:32:03,292 --> 00:32:05,539 Can we do that again? I forgot your names already. 483 00:32:06,813 --> 00:32:10,324 It is a damn shame we didn't hire you, what was it, three years ago? 484 00:32:10,425 --> 00:32:14,273 Three years, two months, 17 days. But who's counting? 485 00:32:14,729 --> 00:32:16,623 - You know, I met your father once. - Oh, yeah? 486 00:32:16,723 --> 00:32:20,433 He delivered a fascinating lecture, a retort to Terry Hearst, 487 00:32:20,533 --> 00:32:23,830 a hermeneutical reading of Milton's "Paradise Lost." 488 00:32:23,931 --> 00:32:26,663 - Wish I'd been there for that one. - Where are you from in England? 489 00:32:26,763 --> 00:32:29,661 - And are you a Rich or a Dick? - I'm a Richard. 490 00:32:29,762 --> 00:32:32,757 - Your father took a structural stance... - You know, the missus and I, 491 00:32:32,857 --> 00:32:35,128 we love it over there, we go every summer. 492 00:32:35,228 --> 00:32:38,429 - You do? Great. - Cheers again, matey. 493 00:32:38,529 --> 00:32:41,657 Richard, I want to let you know that these fervent minds here 494 00:32:41,757 --> 00:32:44,685 have taken great care looking over your application material. 495 00:32:44,785 --> 00:32:47,680 Never trust an Englishman who doesn't drink, Richie boy. 496 00:32:47,780 --> 00:32:50,088 - Syllabus... - ... epistemological level. 497 00:32:50,188 --> 00:32:51,351 Academics. Yup, yup, yup. 498 00:32:51,451 --> 00:32:55,330 - I do have one small question for you. - This one's the biggest yapper of them all. 499 00:32:55,430 --> 00:32:59,277 How are the Romantics relevant to today's students? 500 00:33:03,438 --> 00:33:05,052 You want me to answer this question now? 501 00:33:05,152 --> 00:33:09,361 I'm sure we'd all enjoy hearing just a taste of one of your lectures. 502 00:33:09,461 --> 00:33:11,847 - A taste. - A mere amuse-bouche is all. 503 00:33:12,348 --> 00:33:15,709 Why not the whole meal? Why don't you come down and see me in action? 504 00:33:15,809 --> 00:33:18,373 - I happen to be free on Thursday. - Christ, what about that? 505 00:33:18,473 --> 00:33:20,975 I see you've already met my wife. 506 00:33:24,543 --> 00:33:28,631 I'm just going to go outside for a moment here, and just jump in front of a bus. 507 00:33:28,731 --> 00:33:30,883 Where are you going? You didn't even say goodbye! 508 00:33:30,983 --> 00:33:32,870 That's true. 509 00:33:33,836 --> 00:33:35,630 Bye! 510 00:33:36,030 --> 00:33:38,136 I wonder if he was flirting with me. 511 00:33:38,749 --> 00:33:40,700 Oh, my God. 512 00:33:45,015 --> 00:33:47,010 Oh, shit. 513 00:33:49,652 --> 00:33:51,667 Oh, bollocks. 514 00:34:12,376 --> 00:34:13,510 Shit. 515 00:34:13,610 --> 00:34:17,132 Good evening, Officer. Oh, boy. Have I been drinking? 516 00:34:18,515 --> 00:34:21,110 I drink every night. How about you? 517 00:34:21,811 --> 00:34:24,402 Can't we all just get along? 518 00:34:36,776 --> 00:34:38,490 Thanks. 519 00:34:41,781 --> 00:34:44,242 Thanks again for bailing me out. 520 00:34:44,342 --> 00:34:47,616 - And for the silent treatment. - Don't talk to me. 521 00:34:54,962 --> 00:34:56,650 I still can't believe it. 522 00:34:56,750 --> 00:34:59,361 - Can't believe what? - I wasn't talking to you. 523 00:34:59,462 --> 00:35:03,932 And I wasn't talking to you, my darling little fornicating ex-wife. 524 00:35:04,032 --> 00:35:06,098 - Shut up, Richard. - Alan dumped me. 525 00:35:06,199 --> 00:35:10,124 What a small world. My wife did exactly the same thing. 526 00:35:10,224 --> 00:35:12,400 She used to adore me. 527 00:35:13,022 --> 00:35:15,258 Where, oh, where did the love go? 528 00:35:15,358 --> 00:35:17,543 She turned 30 and wised up. 529 00:35:17,844 --> 00:35:21,162 So, what's going on? Why are you here, Olivia? 530 00:35:21,262 --> 00:35:23,792 - Thank you so much for helping out. - It's the least I can do. 531 00:35:23,892 --> 00:35:26,298 - Helping out? Helping out with what? - I needed to know 532 00:35:26,398 --> 00:35:30,115 that Jake was going to be looked after, fed, and driven by a responsible person 533 00:35:30,215 --> 00:35:32,984 - with a valid driver's license. - Fine. Why her? 534 00:35:33,084 --> 00:35:36,280 Livvy offered to come at a very difficult time for her 535 00:35:36,380 --> 00:35:39,437 to bail us out of the mess that you put us in. 536 00:35:39,537 --> 00:35:41,112 You know what? 537 00:35:41,212 --> 00:35:45,818 - I've had enough of this. - You know, you say "I" a lot. 538 00:35:45,918 --> 00:35:50,736 Really? Well, I know that Jake loves having you around. 539 00:35:50,836 --> 00:35:53,973 But I'm getting phone calls from your immigration attorney 540 00:35:54,073 --> 00:35:56,567 because you don't ever bother to call him back. 541 00:35:56,667 --> 00:36:00,855 I can't be in your life anymore. I'm enabling your degenerate behavior. 542 00:36:00,955 --> 00:36:04,016 And what is the point of all this right now? 543 00:36:04,117 --> 00:36:07,733 Richard, if you want me to pretend like we're happily married 544 00:36:07,833 --> 00:36:11,786 so you can stay in this country, you better get it together. 545 00:36:25,631 --> 00:36:27,815 - Yeah? - Gotcha. 546 00:36:27,915 --> 00:36:30,736 - I woke you up, didn't I? - Dad, is that you? 547 00:36:30,836 --> 00:36:34,991 You know, there are no time zones in China. Did you know that? 548 00:36:35,091 --> 00:36:37,881 The whole bloody country is on Peking time, 549 00:36:37,994 --> 00:36:40,677 and that's the way it should be. 550 00:36:40,778 --> 00:36:44,408 - We should all be on Peking time. - Don't be a dumb prat. 551 00:36:44,508 --> 00:36:47,837 The whole world should be on London time. 552 00:36:47,937 --> 00:36:50,461 Okay. What do you want, Dad? 553 00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:55,495 - How's the little turd? - Don't call him that. 554 00:36:55,595 --> 00:36:59,169 Come on, you're far too bloody sensitive. 555 00:36:59,269 --> 00:37:02,218 All right, great to hear from you, Dad. 556 00:37:02,318 --> 00:37:05,405 Why don't you go badger Joan? Okay? 557 00:37:05,505 --> 00:37:07,095 She's not here. 558 00:37:07,195 --> 00:37:11,248 Shit. Okay. I've got to go. Goodbye. 559 00:37:28,270 --> 00:37:30,368 Richard Haig? 560 00:37:31,415 --> 00:37:32,503 Thank you. 561 00:37:40,883 --> 00:37:43,244 So, your interview is Monday. 562 00:37:43,344 --> 00:37:46,413 This is the fourth quarter now, two minute warning, you got no timeouts left. 563 00:37:46,514 --> 00:37:47,985 What the hell are you talking about? 564 00:37:48,085 --> 00:37:53,045 If your ex-wife won't show up to your interview, it's going to be Hail Mary time. 565 00:37:53,145 --> 00:37:54,843 Okay? 566 00:37:56,065 --> 00:37:59,511 - So, did you get a full-time job? - Doing my best. 567 00:37:59,611 --> 00:38:02,080 Have you recently joined any terrorist organizations? 568 00:38:02,180 --> 00:38:05,571 Applied all over. Fingers crossed. 569 00:38:08,453 --> 00:38:10,735 Have you ever been arrested? 570 00:38:13,383 --> 00:38:16,404 - DUl. - When? How many years ago? 571 00:38:16,504 --> 00:38:19,962 Friday? I mean, they can't kick me out of the country for that, can they? 572 00:38:20,062 --> 00:38:23,035 - Jakey's a US citizen. - You see the people in my waiting room? 573 00:38:23,135 --> 00:38:25,927 The kid born here, the parents, illegal. 574 00:38:26,027 --> 00:38:28,641 They're deporting the parents! 575 00:38:28,942 --> 00:38:32,012 Oh, yeah, it's game seven, win or go home time. 576 00:38:32,645 --> 00:38:36,342 All right, well, if you join a recovery program now... 577 00:38:36,649 --> 00:38:37,992 What, recovery? 578 00:38:38,092 --> 00:38:41,370 You do the 10 mandated sessions the court's going to give you for the DUl. 579 00:38:41,470 --> 00:38:44,192 - 10? That's going to take me weeks! - Hell week, baby. Two-a-days. 580 00:38:44,292 --> 00:38:46,793 You get your ex-wife to your interview and you get a great job. 581 00:38:46,893 --> 00:38:50,103 You do all that, and you get the ring, baby, okay? 582 00:38:50,664 --> 00:38:53,071 Yes, of course. 583 00:39:12,597 --> 00:39:15,065 Hijos de puta. 584 00:39:39,990 --> 00:39:42,029 Everything all right? 585 00:39:44,961 --> 00:39:47,072 Yeah. Why? 586 00:39:47,173 --> 00:39:49,396 Want to borrow my car? 587 00:39:49,496 --> 00:39:52,251 Okay, if you're not using it. 588 00:40:06,267 --> 00:40:09,162 That's good, that's good, that's good. It's okay! 589 00:40:16,336 --> 00:40:18,663 - Wait, wait, wait. - What? 590 00:40:18,763 --> 00:40:21,277 Did Kate tell you about the one-way system at pick up? 591 00:40:23,101 --> 00:40:25,689 No, I didn't think so. It's okay. 592 00:40:26,412 --> 00:40:30,338 - All right, toots. Step on it. - Oh, boy. 593 00:40:31,359 --> 00:40:36,014 Stop sign. Stop sign. Stop sign. Car, car! Jesus. 594 00:40:36,114 --> 00:40:38,692 Where the hell did you learn how to drive? 595 00:40:38,792 --> 00:40:40,506 Mexico. 596 00:40:41,061 --> 00:40:44,598 Oh, can you please get that? Where is my phone? Where's my phone? 597 00:40:44,698 --> 00:40:47,932 - I'm waiting for a very important call. - Here you go. Sorry, it's down here. 598 00:40:49,753 --> 00:40:50,766 Hello? 599 00:40:50,866 --> 00:40:54,200 Olivia? I have Tim Prince from Creative Management Lit for you. 600 00:40:54,300 --> 00:40:56,937 - Okay. - Can't he dial the phone by himself? 601 00:40:57,037 --> 00:40:58,918 - Hey, babes! - Hi! 602 00:40:59,018 --> 00:41:03,785 - Listen, so sorry about Alan. Awful! - Thanks, Tim. Thank you. 603 00:41:03,885 --> 00:41:06,685 I caught my ex-wife in downward dog with my tantra teacher 604 00:41:06,785 --> 00:41:09,448 coming out of her central eye. You feel so... 605 00:41:09,548 --> 00:41:11,989 - Angry. - Who the hell is this guy? 606 00:41:12,089 --> 00:41:13,485 Okay, listen, babes, 607 00:41:13,585 --> 00:41:16,919 if anyone can go from editor to author, it's you, and I mean that. 608 00:41:17,020 --> 00:41:19,935 And I got your sample chapter. Give me a day or two to look it over. 609 00:41:20,035 --> 00:41:22,270 - Of course. - I'll be gentle. I promise. 610 00:41:22,370 --> 00:41:25,594 - Who says I like it gentle? - That's my girl. Okay, got to jump. 611 00:41:25,695 --> 00:41:28,214 - Bye, babes. - Bye! 612 00:41:29,745 --> 00:41:33,604 - Fascinating exchange. - How can men move on so quickly? 613 00:41:33,704 --> 00:41:36,129 - What? - It's like a switch for you, isn't it? 614 00:41:36,229 --> 00:41:38,203 You flip it off, then you turn to the next one. 615 00:41:38,304 --> 00:41:41,499 You flip that one on, and when you get tired of that, you just flip another. 616 00:41:41,599 --> 00:41:45,453 Like a pilot on a cockpit. Flip, flip, flip, flip, flip, flip, flip. 617 00:41:45,553 --> 00:41:47,922 What the hell are you talking about? 618 00:41:48,022 --> 00:41:50,466 Wishful thinking, Richard. I wish I was like... 619 00:41:50,566 --> 00:41:53,887 Eyes on the road, eyes on the road! Do not enter! Wrong way! Wrong way! 620 00:41:53,987 --> 00:41:56,956 - Oh, relax. Relax. - I am, I am very relaxed. 621 00:41:57,056 --> 00:41:59,397 You're like an old lady! 622 00:42:00,134 --> 00:42:04,147 You men, you'd rather just go out there 623 00:42:04,247 --> 00:42:07,959 and have sex than work things out. 624 00:42:08,059 --> 00:42:09,769 Yeah. Guilty as charged. 625 00:42:09,869 --> 00:42:14,809 But your horniness is nothing but a big mask for you to hide behind. 626 00:42:14,909 --> 00:42:18,278 - Now, what's wrong with a big mask? - Let me ask you something. 627 00:42:18,378 --> 00:42:22,632 How can you teach the Romantics when you can't even have a real feeling? 628 00:42:22,733 --> 00:42:24,518 Is irritation a real feeling? 629 00:42:24,619 --> 00:42:28,431 I mean, listening to you flirt on the phone with some guy who's calling you babes, 630 00:42:28,532 --> 00:42:31,116 - oohing and ahhing. No... - Please. I wasn't oohing and ahhing. 631 00:42:31,216 --> 00:42:35,713 I like it gentle. Good Lord, anyone would think you were having an orgasm. 632 00:42:35,813 --> 00:42:38,199 I do not sound like that when I... 633 00:42:38,299 --> 00:42:43,196 Anyway, you should hear some of the stupid noises you guys make when you're... 634 00:42:43,696 --> 00:42:47,742 You can't even say the word, can you? Come on. What do we sound like? 635 00:42:48,243 --> 00:42:50,687 For example, you have the bear. 636 00:42:57,152 --> 00:42:58,161 I can see your tonsils. 637 00:42:58,261 --> 00:43:00,430 - Then you have the sports commentators. - Oh, yeah? 638 00:43:00,530 --> 00:43:05,594 Baja la pelota, recibe con el pecho, mete mano en el �rea chica. Gol! 639 00:43:06,745 --> 00:43:10,878 - What kind of men have you been with? - And then there's the quiet ones. 640 00:43:15,271 --> 00:43:16,580 - Are you finished? - No. 641 00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:20,058 - Of course not. - And the worst one is the Tourette's one. 642 00:43:20,158 --> 00:43:22,712 - What? - You know, "Shit, fuck. 643 00:43:22,812 --> 00:43:26,641 I love you, fuck me, oh, motherfucker bitch, I love you. 644 00:43:26,741 --> 00:43:29,544 Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me." 645 00:43:29,644 --> 00:43:31,768 Hey, that sounds like you, Dad. 646 00:43:33,565 --> 00:43:35,692 I heard him once on the walkie-talkie. 647 00:43:35,792 --> 00:43:38,303 Mr. Haig, do you have a minute? 648 00:43:38,403 --> 00:43:42,512 Of course I do. Come on, toots. This way. 649 00:43:42,612 --> 00:43:46,436 This morning, Jake said he had a question about the rules. 650 00:43:46,536 --> 00:43:50,607 He asked if he was allowed to use the special alphabet. 651 00:43:50,707 --> 00:43:53,014 - Oh, boy. - I didn't know what that was. 652 00:43:53,114 --> 00:43:57,456 So he asked if he was allowed to say the "A" word. 653 00:43:57,756 --> 00:44:01,101 Then he asked, "Can I say bugger, crap, dummy?" 654 00:44:01,202 --> 00:44:04,063 And when he got to F, he said, "Am I allowed to say 'frick,' 655 00:44:04,163 --> 00:44:06,553 because I know I'm not allowed to say 'fuck. '" 656 00:44:07,524 --> 00:44:10,548 It was at that point that I sent him to the principal's office. 657 00:44:15,382 --> 00:44:19,278 - And what did you say for G? - Goddamn. 658 00:44:19,378 --> 00:44:20,865 Mr. Haig, 659 00:44:20,965 --> 00:44:26,166 how is Jake adjusting to your new... living situation? 660 00:44:27,537 --> 00:44:31,466 No, no, this is not what it looks like, or what it sounds like. No, no, no. 661 00:44:31,566 --> 00:44:35,095 - We don't need to have an explanation. - I think there's been a misunderstanding. 662 00:44:35,195 --> 00:44:37,935 - I would never... - You've said enough. 663 00:44:44,262 --> 00:44:46,408 Oh, wonderful. 664 00:44:46,508 --> 00:44:49,222 I'll walk to the curb. Mind your hands. 665 00:44:49,322 --> 00:44:52,449 - What are you doing here? - What am I doing here? 666 00:44:52,549 --> 00:44:56,058 I'm just going to get some delicious Potatoes Latinos. 667 00:44:57,144 --> 00:45:00,158 Yeah, and maybe a manicure. 668 00:45:00,446 --> 00:45:02,471 Or a bikini wax. 669 00:45:02,571 --> 00:45:05,284 Bye. I'll see you later. You take care. 670 00:45:05,384 --> 00:45:08,208 - Whatever. - Bye. 671 00:45:11,766 --> 00:45:15,887 We have two new members today. We have Cindy and Richard. 672 00:45:15,987 --> 00:45:17,476 So, Cindy, do you want to... 673 00:45:20,341 --> 00:45:22,519 Hi, I'm Cindy. 674 00:45:22,819 --> 00:45:25,559 And I'm an alcoholic. 675 00:45:28,208 --> 00:45:31,186 Thank you, Cindy. Richard? 676 00:45:31,436 --> 00:45:36,691 Hi, I am Richard, and I'm not an alcoholic. 677 00:45:36,792 --> 00:45:41,471 I'm English, a country with... a few thousand years of history, 678 00:45:41,571 --> 00:45:44,500 and part of that history is the communal practice 679 00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:46,677 of having a drink in the pub. 680 00:45:46,777 --> 00:45:51,090 Now, I know it's not your fault a few sad, sorry pilgrims arrived here 681 00:45:51,190 --> 00:45:56,011 and infected your country with the message of puritanical masochism. 682 00:45:56,112 --> 00:46:00,841 But it is your fault you've all taken it on board quite so earnestly. 683 00:46:00,942 --> 00:46:04,930 So... you chaps go ahead. 684 00:46:05,230 --> 00:46:07,248 Knock yourselves out. 685 00:46:07,348 --> 00:46:10,702 But just know this. The first thing I intend to do when this hour is up: 686 00:46:11,102 --> 00:46:14,054 is hit that bar across the street and have a nice cold one. 687 00:46:14,873 --> 00:46:17,747 - Good luck with that. - Thank you, Chad. 688 00:46:25,926 --> 00:46:28,545 How are the Romantics relevant to you? 689 00:46:29,146 --> 00:46:32,224 You know, the only reason I'm taking this class is so I can get my GPA up 690 00:46:32,324 --> 00:46:35,891 so I can play baseball at Arizona State, so... 691 00:46:37,614 --> 00:46:39,401 How about you, Stacy? 692 00:46:39,501 --> 00:46:41,813 How are the Romantics relevant to you? 693 00:46:42,426 --> 00:46:43,840 They're not. 694 00:46:49,392 --> 00:46:51,435 You have been such a wonderful audience. 695 00:46:51,535 --> 00:46:53,251 I can't wait to see you all next week, 696 00:46:53,351 --> 00:46:57,254 when I shall be lecturing naked, wearing a sombrero. 697 00:46:57,354 --> 00:46:59,740 It'll be so wonderful. 698 00:47:02,589 --> 00:47:04,395 Fuck me. 699 00:47:06,509 --> 00:47:08,152 Olivia? 700 00:47:08,252 --> 00:47:11,524 - Hey, babes! There you are! - Oh, Tim! Hi! 701 00:47:11,624 --> 00:47:13,705 How are you, beautiful? 702 00:47:15,994 --> 00:47:17,711 Okay. 703 00:47:18,427 --> 00:47:20,515 About this. 704 00:47:21,108 --> 00:47:22,710 This rocks. 705 00:47:22,810 --> 00:47:25,178 - Really? - It is smart, it is funny. 706 00:47:25,378 --> 00:47:27,280 - Oh, I love Jenna. - Jane. 707 00:47:27,380 --> 00:47:30,988 You might want to change that. Sex sells. Jane makes me think of nun in a wimple. 708 00:47:31,088 --> 00:47:32,506 God, but you are so talented. 709 00:47:32,656 --> 00:47:35,484 You're so beautiful, too. And trust me, that helps, babe. 710 00:47:35,585 --> 00:47:38,463 I'm gonna take you to the stars. I am gonna take you to the stars. 711 00:47:38,563 --> 00:47:41,733 All I ask is that these shoulders be the ones you stand upon. 712 00:47:41,833 --> 00:47:43,225 Watch the silk, though? 713 00:47:48,415 --> 00:47:49,151 Hello? 714 00:47:49,251 --> 00:47:51,929 Richard, listen. They've assigned your case for investigation. 715 00:47:52,030 --> 00:47:53,761 Really? What does that mean? 716 00:47:53,861 --> 00:47:56,148 You're under surveillance by an undercover federal agent. 717 00:47:56,248 --> 00:47:57,898 - Jesus! Fuck! - Yes. 718 00:47:57,998 --> 00:47:59,410 Sorry. Sorry. 719 00:48:00,878 --> 00:48:03,989 Shit. He's here tonight. He just flashed his badge. 720 00:48:04,089 --> 00:48:05,616 Don't fumble the ball, now! 721 00:48:05,716 --> 00:48:08,894 All that matters is that you exhibit good moral character, okay? 722 00:48:08,994 --> 00:48:11,310 Okay, everybody, grab a seat. 723 00:48:11,410 --> 00:48:15,268 Okay, so, Chad, I believe you wanted to start us off? 724 00:48:15,668 --> 00:48:18,538 I'm Chad, and I am 13 days sober. 725 00:48:18,638 --> 00:48:22,035 - Yeah! Way to go, Chad! - All right, Chad! 726 00:48:22,550 --> 00:48:27,013 All right, so why don't you tell us how that feels? 727 00:48:27,113 --> 00:48:29,974 Well, you know, it started by not going... 728 00:48:30,074 --> 00:48:33,920 Wendy? Excuse me, Wendy, just a moment there, please. 729 00:48:34,020 --> 00:48:35,839 Sorry, everyone. Can I say something? 730 00:48:35,939 --> 00:48:38,833 Sorry, Chad, I didn't mean to interrupt your moment of glory there. 731 00:48:39,734 --> 00:48:41,317 My name is Richard, 732 00:48:41,433 --> 00:48:46,366 and I'd like to amend my earlier comments about the drinking habits of the English. 733 00:48:46,866 --> 00:48:50,700 I mean, just because the entire country hits the pub after work doesn't mean 734 00:48:50,800 --> 00:48:54,041 we can't all be alcoholics, because we are. 735 00:48:54,141 --> 00:48:57,895 We are inebriates, national disgrace. 736 00:48:57,995 --> 00:49:01,546 What else? I'm married, very happily so. 737 00:49:01,646 --> 00:49:04,419 Oh, and I have a son. A beautiful little son called Jakey. 738 00:49:04,519 --> 00:49:09,707 Born here, in this country, a country which I love and has such meaning to my heart. 739 00:49:09,807 --> 00:49:11,423 So, Richard... 740 00:49:11,873 --> 00:49:14,313 with all of that to lose, 741 00:49:14,413 --> 00:49:19,320 why would you get drunk and then get behind the wheel of a car? 742 00:49:23,329 --> 00:49:27,927 Yep. Well, there you have it. I'm an alcoholic. 743 00:49:28,451 --> 00:49:31,108 I'm Richard, alcoholic. 744 00:49:37,828 --> 00:49:42,824 Yeah? Jakey? Jake, no, no, no. No, Jakey, just tell him... 745 00:49:42,924 --> 00:49:44,561 Just tell him... 746 00:49:44,661 --> 00:49:46,745 Tell him just to calm down. 747 00:49:46,845 --> 00:49:49,307 Okay, no more cellphones. 748 00:49:51,042 --> 00:49:53,135 I'm here, I'm here. It's okay. 749 00:49:53,235 --> 00:49:57,168 - Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. - It's all right. Don't worry. Don't worry. 750 00:49:57,268 --> 00:50:02,824 I know. I know. Come on, Jakey, calm down. Calm down. Just breathe. There you go. 751 00:50:03,538 --> 00:50:06,231 Breathe, breathe, relax. 752 00:50:06,331 --> 00:50:09,569 - Use your words. - I... I had a bad dream. 753 00:50:09,669 --> 00:50:11,275 - Okay. - Then I woke up... 754 00:50:11,375 --> 00:50:15,062 and Mommy wasn't here, and you were gone and... 755 00:50:15,683 --> 00:50:18,208 I'm really sorry. Okay. 756 00:50:18,686 --> 00:50:21,214 Hey, you know what we're gonna do? 757 00:50:21,314 --> 00:50:24,822 We're gonna blow that bad dream away, okay? 758 00:50:35,128 --> 00:50:37,360 Here, let me catch it. 759 00:50:43,254 --> 00:50:47,200 Okay. Give us a hug. All right, where's Teddy? 760 00:50:48,232 --> 00:50:50,035 There he is! 761 00:50:53,164 --> 00:50:56,389 All right, let's go to sleep. Come on, say good night. 762 00:50:56,490 --> 00:50:57,559 Good night. 763 00:51:09,556 --> 00:51:13,936 There you go, my little warrior poet. Go to sleep. 764 00:51:14,036 --> 00:51:19,862 Dad, you and Mom are never going to live together, are you? 765 00:51:21,168 --> 00:51:23,929 No, I'm sorry. 766 00:51:24,029 --> 00:51:27,199 But if you're ever upset about anything, 767 00:51:27,299 --> 00:51:31,915 anything at all, you go talk to your mum or talk to me. 768 00:51:32,015 --> 00:51:34,340 Or Brian? 769 00:51:34,890 --> 00:51:37,730 Only if I'm stuck down a mine and your mom's in a coma. 770 00:51:45,018 --> 00:51:48,054 Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. 771 00:51:48,154 --> 00:51:49,590 I... 772 00:51:49,690 --> 00:51:53,068 - I was completely useless. - No, It's okay. 773 00:51:53,168 --> 00:51:55,887 I can't even take care of my little sister's child. 774 00:51:55,987 --> 00:51:58,965 I mean, how hard can that be, right? 775 00:51:59,065 --> 00:52:03,262 Have you ever felt like everybody else has gotten their shit together but you? 776 00:52:03,362 --> 00:52:07,577 I mean, my little sister has. Even you have. 777 00:52:07,677 --> 00:52:10,594 Well, I wouldn't go that far. 778 00:52:10,694 --> 00:52:14,161 Look, it's just a lot different when it's your own kid. 779 00:52:15,057 --> 00:52:18,439 Well, I wouldn't know about that either. 780 00:52:18,640 --> 00:52:20,988 Listen, I made some soup. 781 00:52:21,088 --> 00:52:25,210 - Would you like some? It's horrible. - Sure. I love horrible soup. 782 00:52:31,441 --> 00:52:34,390 It's horrible. I can't even make a soup. 783 00:52:34,490 --> 00:52:35,856 Oh, boy. 784 00:52:38,039 --> 00:52:42,227 - You know, you're a really good father. - Yeah. Sure I am. 785 00:52:42,327 --> 00:52:46,056 Richard, I'm giving you a compliment. Just say thank you. 786 00:52:46,482 --> 00:52:48,020 Thank you, Olivia. 787 00:52:50,051 --> 00:52:52,582 I like it when you say my name. 788 00:52:53,614 --> 00:52:55,614 It's funny. 789 00:52:55,924 --> 00:53:00,116 Most women adore me to begin with, and then end up hating me. 790 00:53:01,147 --> 00:53:04,825 You, on the other hand, hated me right off the bat, but now I think you despise me. 791 00:53:04,926 --> 00:53:08,562 No, I despised you at the beginning. 792 00:53:08,662 --> 00:53:13,634 Now, I just loathe you a little sometimes. 793 00:53:16,863 --> 00:53:18,677 Well. 794 00:53:42,723 --> 00:53:45,943 I've been staying inside 795 00:53:46,574 --> 00:53:49,760 Watching from the outside 796 00:53:50,260 --> 00:53:53,783 My God, it's been a long time 797 00:53:54,160 --> 00:53:56,743 For sure 798 00:53:57,821 --> 00:54:01,298 I've been reaching for my west side 799 00:54:01,675 --> 00:54:05,221 'Cause it used to be my best side 800 00:54:05,321 --> 00:54:08,518 Now it's a part of me I can't find 801 00:54:09,826 --> 00:54:11,449 Anymore 802 00:54:13,705 --> 00:54:16,150 I wanna fly... 803 00:54:17,975 --> 00:54:22,605 I packed your toothbrush, your pajamas, 804 00:54:22,705 --> 00:54:24,274 and... 805 00:54:24,724 --> 00:54:27,185 Hey, guys, what's happening? 806 00:54:27,285 --> 00:54:28,895 - Where you going? - My sleepover! 807 00:54:28,996 --> 00:54:31,464 Oh, yeah! The sleepover, of course. All right. 808 00:54:31,564 --> 00:54:35,477 Well, give me a kiss and have a good night. There you go, soldier. 809 00:54:35,577 --> 00:54:37,220 - Cool! - Have fun, Jakey! 810 00:54:37,320 --> 00:54:39,865 - Let's go. - Good night. 811 00:54:39,965 --> 00:54:42,246 Enjoy your night off. 812 00:55:19,373 --> 00:55:21,044 Hello? 813 00:55:23,543 --> 00:55:27,376 Oh, there he is! What's up, Rich? 814 00:55:27,823 --> 00:55:29,662 Hi, Richard! 815 00:55:31,927 --> 00:55:34,188 Yeah, great, well done. 816 00:55:34,388 --> 00:55:37,979 Leaving now. Yeah, good. Sorry about that. 817 00:55:40,811 --> 00:55:41,987 Yeah. 818 00:55:43,539 --> 00:55:45,648 He's a little weird. 819 00:55:47,092 --> 00:55:50,305 - Bye! - Hey, I'll be back for more? 820 00:55:50,405 --> 00:55:52,469 Bye, babes! 821 00:55:53,283 --> 00:55:55,106 Had to leave early, did he? 822 00:55:55,919 --> 00:55:59,357 Well, he did stay until he got the job done. 823 00:55:59,457 --> 00:56:02,926 - That was good of him. - Yeah, he's gonna come back tomorrow 824 00:56:03,026 --> 00:56:05,687 and bring a friend so we can all do it together. 825 00:56:05,787 --> 00:56:08,255 - The more the merrier. - For Christ's sake. 826 00:56:08,355 --> 00:56:11,673 We were working, and then he went surfing, you idiot. 827 00:56:11,773 --> 00:56:15,390 Now where is that bottle of wine? I could use a drink. 828 00:56:17,558 --> 00:56:19,614 Come on up. 829 00:56:29,611 --> 00:56:30,876 There you go. 830 00:56:32,264 --> 00:56:36,047 - Apology accepted. - Oh, good. 831 00:56:36,285 --> 00:56:39,518 - To friends. - To friends. 832 00:56:44,986 --> 00:56:47,364 A bit old for homework, aren't you? 833 00:56:47,464 --> 00:56:52,206 Well, it's never too late to perfect new ways of boring one's students. 834 00:56:54,387 --> 00:56:58,583 So... must be very excited to have Tim all over you. 835 00:56:58,684 --> 00:57:01,499 So to speak. About your book. 836 00:57:02,963 --> 00:57:04,728 Well... 837 00:57:05,498 --> 00:57:08,429 tonight he tore me to pieces. 838 00:57:08,729 --> 00:57:10,813 It's hard to be judged by others. 839 00:57:10,913 --> 00:57:15,024 It's very difficult... to stay true to your own voice 840 00:57:15,124 --> 00:57:18,658 when everybody else wants you to do something else. 841 00:57:20,231 --> 00:57:22,166 It made me think of Alan. 842 00:57:22,666 --> 00:57:25,854 All the notes that I gave him through the years. 843 00:57:25,954 --> 00:57:28,306 It must have tortured him. 844 00:57:28,406 --> 00:57:30,704 So it's not all bad, then. 845 00:57:32,385 --> 00:57:36,047 I'll be honest, I always thought he was an arrogant little shit 846 00:57:36,147 --> 00:57:38,846 whose books were vapid and hackneyed. 847 00:57:40,001 --> 00:57:43,108 And all I could ever think about when I skim-read them... 848 00:57:44,745 --> 00:57:47,609 - was you. - Me? 849 00:57:48,131 --> 00:57:49,509 You. 850 00:57:50,264 --> 00:57:51,855 Yes. 851 00:57:51,955 --> 00:57:53,290 And what could have been worse? 852 00:57:53,390 --> 00:57:58,449 Being married to him or editing his schmaltzy drivel? 853 00:58:00,539 --> 00:58:03,254 They both sucked. 854 00:58:05,294 --> 00:58:07,742 Do you know who he's screwing? 855 00:58:08,297 --> 00:58:11,046 My gynecologist. 856 00:58:11,146 --> 00:58:13,661 My gynecologist! 857 00:58:13,761 --> 00:58:15,200 I mean, 858 00:58:15,300 --> 00:58:18,925 I actually thought that he was coming to our appointments because he cared, 859 00:58:19,025 --> 00:58:21,235 but no, he wanted to see the doctor. 860 00:58:21,335 --> 00:58:24,030 Maybe you're better off without him. 861 00:58:24,130 --> 00:58:26,199 Think about it. 862 00:58:26,299 --> 00:58:30,695 You're smart, you're funny, you're beautiful, terrible driver, but... 863 00:58:31,396 --> 00:58:34,495 I'm sure you'll find someone to overlook that. 864 00:58:34,866 --> 00:58:36,943 You're just saying that. 865 00:58:37,043 --> 00:58:40,750 Well, you are smart, you are funny, 866 00:58:40,850 --> 00:58:43,880 and you are very, very beautiful. 867 00:59:39,650 --> 00:59:41,625 - What the hell happened to my car? - Oh, shit. 868 00:59:41,725 --> 00:59:45,690 Oh, my nuts! They said they weren't coming back until tonight! 869 00:59:45,790 --> 00:59:49,606 - It's a good thing it's a military vehicle. - Oh, my God! 870 00:59:50,152 --> 00:59:54,055 Okay, okay. To the house. To the house. 871 00:59:57,529 --> 01:00:01,643 - Buenos d�as, Pedro. - Buenos d�as, se�ora. 872 01:00:05,443 --> 01:00:07,404 Get the keys, sweetie. 873 01:00:07,504 --> 01:00:10,937 Oh, you know what, I think I left my phone in the car. 874 01:00:22,436 --> 01:00:24,472 - Hi! - You're naked. 875 01:00:24,572 --> 01:00:28,030 If you're wondering where Jake is, he's at a sleepover with Josh. 876 01:00:28,301 --> 01:00:31,454 - Why are you naked? - Richard's sleeping in his house. 877 01:00:31,554 --> 01:00:34,586 - I'm just gonna go and swim. - Unbelievable. 878 01:00:37,768 --> 01:00:40,129 Hey, how's the lecture coming? 879 01:00:40,229 --> 01:00:43,377 I've passed kidney stones with greater ease. 880 01:00:44,133 --> 01:00:48,747 Well, don't overthink it. Just be honest, pithy, simple. 881 01:00:49,247 --> 01:00:54,143 You know something? I think you're the first woman I've ever really been friends with. 882 01:00:54,244 --> 01:00:56,905 Well, that's a little sad, Richard, but very touching. 883 01:00:57,005 --> 01:01:00,446 What brought about this sudden onset of sincerity? 884 01:01:03,070 --> 01:01:05,920 I slept with someone, 885 01:01:06,020 --> 01:01:07,637 and... 886 01:01:08,222 --> 01:01:10,577 it actually meant something. 887 01:01:10,778 --> 01:01:13,298 Well, that's great. Who? 888 01:01:13,398 --> 01:01:15,103 Olivia. 889 01:01:16,283 --> 01:01:20,560 Are you kidding? Richard, why don't you go down to your Green Card appointment, 890 01:01:20,660 --> 01:01:23,524 take out your samurai sword, and disembowel yourself? 891 01:01:23,624 --> 01:01:26,826 What is wrong with you? Are you trying to get deported? 892 01:01:26,926 --> 01:01:30,248 - I mean, Kate is going to kill you! - Kate's not going to know about it, is she? 893 01:01:30,348 --> 01:01:32,508 I mean, I'm not going to tell her, and Olivia's not going to tell her. 894 01:01:32,608 --> 01:01:37,325 They are sisters, Richard, close sisters, and close sisters talk. 895 01:01:41,442 --> 01:01:43,456 You better move. 896 01:01:53,697 --> 01:01:56,320 Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. 897 01:02:03,771 --> 01:02:04,959 - Kate, hi. - Hey! 898 01:02:05,059 --> 01:02:08,187 - How's everything? Good? - Olivia told me everything. 899 01:02:08,387 --> 01:02:10,455 Oh, she did? 900 01:02:10,556 --> 01:02:13,421 I think it's awesome that she started writing. 901 01:02:15,478 --> 01:02:17,855 And she said you were really nice to her when I was away. 902 01:02:17,955 --> 01:02:20,308 Oh, wonderful. 903 01:02:20,808 --> 01:02:24,517 You know... I know I've been kind of a bitch to you lately. 904 01:02:24,617 --> 01:02:25,602 Oh, that's okay. 905 01:02:25,702 --> 01:02:30,193 Threatening not to come to your green card meeting was totally out of line. I'm sorry. 906 01:02:30,293 --> 01:02:33,371 Yeah, live and let live, forgive and forget, all of that. 907 01:02:33,471 --> 01:02:35,899 - We're cool? - We are so cool. 908 01:02:35,999 --> 01:02:38,526 Okay. Do you want to get me some lemonade? 909 01:02:38,627 --> 01:02:39,847 - Good idea. - Thanks. 910 01:02:39,947 --> 01:02:42,627 Okay. Great. 911 01:02:52,383 --> 01:02:54,364 You smoke? 912 01:02:59,140 --> 01:03:02,973 - I can't stop thinking about last night. - Nor can I. 913 01:03:04,754 --> 01:03:06,798 - We have to tell her. - No, no, no. 914 01:03:06,898 --> 01:03:09,106 - This is not good timing. Olivia, Olivia. - Dad? 915 01:03:09,206 --> 01:03:11,419 That's gone to your head. Get back in the bush. Get behind the bush. 916 01:03:11,519 --> 01:03:14,681 There's a funny old man here that wants to see you. 917 01:03:14,781 --> 01:03:16,437 What? 918 01:03:17,392 --> 01:03:19,191 Dad, what are you doing here? 919 01:03:19,294 --> 01:03:23,581 Why in buggering hell have you been ignoring my calls? 920 01:03:24,182 --> 01:03:27,865 Oh, hello, this must be the Yank totty! 921 01:03:27,965 --> 01:03:30,326 Kate, my father. 922 01:03:30,964 --> 01:03:33,125 Oh, my goodness, Mr. Haig! 923 01:03:33,225 --> 01:03:36,319 It's so nice to meet you! 924 01:03:36,419 --> 01:03:39,748 - Sorry, I'm soaking wet. - I need a shower anyway. 925 01:03:39,848 --> 01:03:43,043 Oh, and who is this other vision of loveliness? 926 01:03:43,143 --> 01:03:46,714 I'm Olivia. I'm Kate's sister. 927 01:03:46,814 --> 01:03:49,150 Blimey. Bookends. 928 01:03:49,550 --> 01:03:52,162 Well, come inside, I'll make you up a room. 929 01:03:52,262 --> 01:03:54,832 No, no, no, it's okay. Dad, come with me. Come to the guesthouse. 930 01:03:54,933 --> 01:03:58,201 - We've got plenty of rooms. - No, that's okay. Dad, come with me. 931 01:03:58,301 --> 01:04:00,737 - Are you sure? - You're staying with me. I promise you. 932 01:04:00,837 --> 01:04:02,956 - Nice to meet you! - You too! 933 01:04:03,056 --> 01:04:07,883 - Why exactly are you here? - I'm visiting you and the little turd... 934 01:04:07,983 --> 01:04:13,825 - Fella. What's it bloody look like? - Well, I don't really know. I mean... 935 01:04:13,925 --> 01:04:16,493 Jake, meet your grandfather. 936 01:04:16,593 --> 01:04:18,742 Yeah. I'm your granddad. 937 01:04:18,842 --> 01:04:21,800 I've got something for you that I brought all the way from England. 938 01:04:21,901 --> 01:04:27,644 Would you like to see it? Now that is a model of "HMS Defiance." 939 01:04:27,745 --> 01:04:30,075 God, Dad. You never let me used to touch that. 940 01:04:30,175 --> 01:04:32,495 - What? - Okay, I'll be right back. 941 01:04:32,596 --> 01:04:35,014 Hey! Wait a minute, where are you going? 942 01:04:35,114 --> 01:04:38,258 You can't bear to be in the same room with me for two minutes, is that it? 943 01:04:38,359 --> 01:04:41,287 - No, that's not it, Dad, not at all! - Can I keep it? 944 01:04:41,587 --> 01:04:44,632 Of course you can bloody keep it. It's yours! 945 01:04:44,732 --> 01:04:48,731 But don't put it in the bath, because it'll sink. 946 01:04:51,804 --> 01:04:54,100 - Hey, cool! - Where should we put it? Here? 947 01:04:54,200 --> 01:04:56,774 - On the top! - Yes, on the top! 948 01:04:58,680 --> 01:05:00,740 Hello, my lovelies. 949 01:05:00,840 --> 01:05:04,773 All I'm asking is, can you wait till Monday morning at 11:00? 950 01:05:05,645 --> 01:05:07,364 Why? 951 01:05:07,464 --> 01:05:09,770 My green card interview. 952 01:05:11,151 --> 01:05:12,978 After that... 953 01:05:13,079 --> 01:05:15,056 you can... 954 01:05:15,697 --> 01:05:17,996 tell her what you like, okay? 955 01:05:36,252 --> 01:05:37,909 Dad... 956 01:05:38,521 --> 01:05:41,491 - I need to go pee. - Come on, then. 957 01:05:41,891 --> 01:05:45,011 Hey, where the bloody hell are you two going? Come on, hey! 958 01:05:45,111 --> 01:05:49,257 - We're going to go for a pee, Dad. - Come on, whip it out. Come on! 959 01:05:49,357 --> 01:05:52,808 - Dad, you can't pee off the pier. - Jake, who are you going to listen to? 960 01:05:52,908 --> 01:05:57,523 Your dad, who, for some buggering reason has turned into a boring old fart, 961 01:05:57,623 --> 01:06:01,002 or your grandfather, who's lived a rich and full life 962 01:06:01,102 --> 01:06:03,743 and doesn't take shite from anybody? 963 01:06:05,791 --> 01:06:08,277 You! Sorry, Dad. 964 01:06:08,377 --> 01:06:12,534 There you go, come on up here. There you go. Up you go. 965 01:06:12,634 --> 01:06:16,869 Come on, you too. If you're still my son, that is. 966 01:06:16,969 --> 01:06:21,430 All right, on three. One, two, three. 967 01:06:21,530 --> 01:06:24,540 Yeah! That's it. 968 01:06:29,574 --> 01:06:33,719 Well, somebody had their vitamins this morning. 969 01:06:35,822 --> 01:06:38,516 You know, there are coconuts over there! 970 01:06:38,616 --> 01:06:40,810 Great isn't it? There you go. 971 01:06:41,912 --> 01:06:45,808 Beautiful. Oh, dear. All right, all right, all right. 972 01:06:45,908 --> 01:06:49,870 That's good stuff. Put on some tunes, guys? 973 01:06:50,370 --> 01:06:55,017 Oh, look at this. This is paradise, man. You've ended up in paradise! 974 01:06:55,117 --> 01:06:58,466 You know, they must be freezing their bollocks off in England. 975 01:07:01,390 --> 01:07:03,788 Why are you really here? 976 01:07:10,716 --> 01:07:15,008 Joan left me. Silly cow. 977 01:07:15,679 --> 01:07:19,759 Well, I'm sorry. Truly. 978 01:07:20,626 --> 01:07:25,356 Well, that makes me feel so much better. 979 01:07:25,457 --> 01:07:30,495 I mean, God almighty, thank you for those profound words of sympathy. 980 01:07:30,595 --> 01:07:33,582 Well, it's a lot more than you ever said when Kate left me. 981 01:07:33,682 --> 01:07:35,596 Well, I warned you about her! 982 01:07:35,696 --> 01:07:38,282 She was a rampant little Yankee trollop. 983 01:07:39,804 --> 01:07:42,755 You know what, Dad? Of course Joan left you. 984 01:07:42,855 --> 01:07:46,796 You're a misanthropic, misogynistic asshole who doesn't give a fuck about anybody, 985 01:07:46,896 --> 01:07:51,300 least of all the poor saps who you got to marry you in the first place. 986 01:07:51,400 --> 01:07:54,787 Is that it? Is that all you've got? 987 01:07:54,887 --> 01:07:59,250 And you did it all in the name of some misguided credo called fun. 988 01:07:59,350 --> 01:08:01,469 Which you brainwashed me with in the first place. 989 01:08:01,569 --> 01:08:04,175 Guys, dig this song! 990 01:08:04,455 --> 01:08:05,551 Bugger off. 991 01:08:08,919 --> 01:08:11,362 That's it then, is it, boy wonder? 992 01:08:11,462 --> 01:08:15,238 So you finally got it off your chest, have you? 993 01:08:15,338 --> 01:08:17,490 You know what, Dad? 994 01:08:18,011 --> 01:08:20,779 Why don't you just bugger off for once? 995 01:08:20,939 --> 01:08:22,484 For once... 996 01:08:22,584 --> 01:08:26,017 why don't you be the one to bugger off? 997 01:08:55,916 --> 01:08:58,703 Brian, go back to my wife. 998 01:08:59,054 --> 01:09:00,796 Go on. 999 01:09:00,896 --> 01:09:04,469 Go on, just... just go back. 1000 01:09:04,569 --> 01:09:06,586 Thank you for that wonderful sharing. 1001 01:09:06,686 --> 01:09:10,957 Seriously, this has been absolutely a marvelous session. 1002 01:09:11,107 --> 01:09:14,485 I've learned so much. Give yourselves a big hand. Everybody. 1003 01:09:14,586 --> 01:09:17,205 Wendy, I was wondering if you could sign my form 1004 01:09:17,305 --> 01:09:19,917 to show that I've done the 10 sessions? 1005 01:09:21,410 --> 01:09:23,933 I'm sorry, Richard, I can't. 1006 01:09:25,539 --> 01:09:30,209 Why? I mean, I came, I did the whole "I'm an alcoholic..." 1007 01:09:30,586 --> 01:09:33,805 But it's not about just saying the words. 1008 01:09:33,906 --> 01:09:36,963 You have to actually mean them. 1009 01:09:43,049 --> 01:09:45,592 Great seeing you. Thanks so much. 1010 01:09:48,229 --> 01:09:50,357 Cindy, right? 1011 01:09:50,457 --> 01:09:53,910 I just spent the last week listening to that drivel so some witless little ninny 1012 01:09:54,010 --> 01:09:57,005 won't sign a piece of paper to say I'm an okay kind of guy. 1013 01:09:57,105 --> 01:10:00,521 Absolute bollocks. Sorry, excuse me. 1014 01:10:01,451 --> 01:10:03,695 Hey, you want to get a drink? Actually, maybe not. 1015 01:10:03,796 --> 01:10:06,414 I've got a grueling lecture in an hour. 1016 01:10:06,514 --> 01:10:09,376 How about a joint? Just kidding, bad joke. 1017 01:10:09,476 --> 01:10:13,689 I didn't want my son to find it. I don't touch the stuff. It's my dad's. 1018 01:10:14,089 --> 01:10:15,962 Likes to puff. 1019 01:10:16,625 --> 01:10:20,041 - Good luck with your lecture. - Thank you. 1020 01:10:28,129 --> 01:10:31,299 I want you all to imagine you're at Cambridge University. 1021 01:10:31,399 --> 01:10:33,731 The year is 1807. 1022 01:10:33,843 --> 01:10:36,089 You walk across the quad of Trinity College. 1023 01:10:36,189 --> 01:10:40,559 Into the lecture hall, you find your fellow classmate, Lord Byron, 1024 01:10:40,659 --> 01:10:45,377 who, in defiance of college rules about dogs, 1025 01:10:45,477 --> 01:10:48,628 has brought a bear to class instead. 1026 01:11:03,248 --> 01:11:05,453 You know what? 1027 01:11:06,060 --> 01:11:07,938 Forget about that. 1028 01:11:08,038 --> 01:11:11,820 Why are the Romantics relevant today? 1029 01:11:15,135 --> 01:11:16,909 Honestly... 1030 01:11:17,009 --> 01:11:18,708 they're not. 1031 01:11:20,158 --> 01:11:22,068 Stacy got it right. 1032 01:11:22,168 --> 01:11:26,314 And Dwight, he can't stop thinking about home runs and fastballs 1033 01:11:26,414 --> 01:11:29,113 when he reads Byron and Coleridge. 1034 01:11:33,004 --> 01:11:34,687 Because... 1035 01:11:35,448 --> 01:11:37,532 we're teaching words. 1036 01:11:38,652 --> 01:11:40,295 Words. 1037 01:11:41,096 --> 01:11:43,644 But we're not teaching meaning. 1038 01:11:45,226 --> 01:11:47,291 I got it all wrong. 1039 01:11:47,736 --> 01:11:52,199 I can tell you about Byron and his bear, Wordsworth falling in love with his cousin, 1040 01:11:52,299 --> 01:11:55,644 Coleridge falling in love with cocaine. 1041 01:11:55,744 --> 01:11:58,622 I can tell you what's behind the words from them, 1042 01:11:59,223 --> 01:12:02,635 but I can't tell you what's behind those words for you. 1043 01:12:03,536 --> 01:12:07,089 Because this class is about you 1044 01:12:07,189 --> 01:12:09,798 learning to find your own meaning. 1045 01:12:11,126 --> 01:12:13,225 Your own voices. 1046 01:12:15,423 --> 01:12:19,294 Go read the poems. But know this, that at this moment, 1047 01:12:19,394 --> 01:12:24,415 you are the Romantics, you are the relevant ones. 1048 01:12:24,515 --> 01:12:28,971 Let Byron, Coleridge, Wordsworth inspire you to do your thing, 1049 01:12:29,071 --> 01:12:30,814 to go your own way. 1050 01:12:30,914 --> 01:12:33,867 Stacy, quit texting. Call him, right now. 1051 01:12:34,317 --> 01:12:38,347 Dwight, go play ball. Ignore anyone who says no, you can't. 1052 01:12:38,447 --> 01:12:42,982 Follow your hearts. Do good things, be bold, and, above all else... 1053 01:12:44,284 --> 01:12:46,167 stick it to the man. 1054 01:12:49,091 --> 01:12:52,311 Well, Dad, I totally fucked up my audition lecture. 1055 01:12:52,411 --> 01:12:56,658 I stuck it to them all right. I stuck it to myself in the process, too. 1056 01:12:56,758 --> 01:13:01,245 Hey, listen, you silly old sod, you just bolted before I could apologize. 1057 01:13:01,345 --> 01:13:04,374 Why are you so thin-skinned these days? 1058 01:13:04,474 --> 01:13:07,163 All right, call me back. 1059 01:13:22,100 --> 01:13:25,137 $4,000 should cover it. 1060 01:13:25,237 --> 01:13:26,394 What? 1061 01:13:26,494 --> 01:13:30,793 Your Mustang, Richard, it's got Sienna Red paint there all over the back fender. 1062 01:13:30,893 --> 01:13:32,828 Unmistakable. 1063 01:13:32,928 --> 01:13:36,702 1954 MG TFs do not come cheap, my friend. 1064 01:13:36,802 --> 01:13:39,185 Absolutely not. Can I give you a check? 1065 01:13:39,285 --> 01:13:41,299 I would prefer cash. 1066 01:13:44,807 --> 01:13:47,543 Wanted to be the first to congratulate you. 1067 01:13:47,643 --> 01:13:50,755 Welcome to the English department, University of Los Angeles. 1068 01:13:50,855 --> 01:13:52,891 Yes! 1069 01:13:52,991 --> 01:13:55,852 Oh, good. Oh, thank you, boss. 1070 01:13:55,952 --> 01:13:58,121 I guess we'll do the other side as well. 1071 01:13:58,221 --> 01:14:00,640 - Let's go have a pint. - A pint of what? Oil? 1072 01:14:00,740 --> 01:14:04,815 A pint of what... Witty. I'll always laugh at your jokes. 1073 01:14:13,237 --> 01:14:16,537 I got the job. ULA! Knocked it out of the ballpark. 1074 01:14:16,637 --> 01:14:19,454 - Congratulations! - Home run! Fantastic! 1075 01:14:19,554 --> 01:14:23,088 And I feel fantastic about you and what we did, making love. 1076 01:14:23,188 --> 01:14:24,749 No, listen please. Hear me out. 1077 01:14:24,849 --> 01:14:27,221 Kate and I have been separated for two years. 1078 01:14:27,321 --> 01:14:30,262 Why should we feel bad? We're grownups, you know. 1079 01:14:30,363 --> 01:14:34,387 And if Kate doesn't like it, she can bloody well just go... Hey, you. Brian. 1080 01:14:34,487 --> 01:14:37,757 Okay, okay, in the vault. 1081 01:14:39,864 --> 01:14:41,955 Oh, Kate. 1082 01:14:44,069 --> 01:14:45,732 Olivia. 1083 01:14:46,738 --> 01:14:48,615 My best friend. 1084 01:14:49,582 --> 01:14:52,218 Total trust. 1085 01:14:52,318 --> 01:14:54,354 No secrets! 1086 01:14:54,755 --> 01:14:58,717 - We were going to... - You know what? If you want him, take him. 1087 01:14:59,117 --> 01:15:00,523 But get out of my house. 1088 01:15:01,762 --> 01:15:04,794 Well, now, maybe... okay. 1089 01:15:39,159 --> 01:15:40,831 Thank you. 1090 01:15:41,386 --> 01:15:44,047 Ernesto. Sorry I'm late. 1091 01:15:44,555 --> 01:15:48,105 - Where's your wife? - Not coming. Sends her regards. 1092 01:15:49,477 --> 01:15:51,872 Okay, strike one, she's not here. 1093 01:15:51,972 --> 01:15:55,551 Strike two, you failed the recovery program. 1094 01:15:55,651 --> 01:15:58,216 We may be 0-2, but we're going to swing for the fences 1095 01:15:58,316 --> 01:16:00,656 on the University of Los Angeles. 1096 01:16:00,756 --> 01:16:01,712 Morning, officer Lewis. 1097 01:16:01,812 --> 01:16:04,868 Why has it taken nearly three years to schedule this interview? 1098 01:16:04,969 --> 01:16:08,322 Well, my client never received all the notifications from ICE. 1099 01:16:09,523 --> 01:16:12,401 Is this your handwriting, Mr. Haig? 1100 01:16:12,501 --> 01:16:16,280 Some of it is. Some of it's also my son's. 1101 01:16:16,380 --> 01:16:18,608 Working on his cursive. 1102 01:16:18,708 --> 01:16:20,472 Can you explain this? 1103 01:16:20,843 --> 01:16:24,581 Yes, well, that's not my fault. Painkillers, dental surgery. 1104 01:16:24,681 --> 01:16:28,120 My client's done 10 sessions of a recovery program to show his good character. 1105 01:16:28,221 --> 01:16:31,763 Where's the letter of completion? In the mail, with "bew-locks" written on it? 1106 01:16:32,464 --> 01:16:35,175 It's "bollocks," actually. 1107 01:16:35,275 --> 01:16:37,314 Officer Armstrong! 1108 01:16:42,700 --> 01:16:47,765 Please describe how Mr. Haig tried to offer you marijuana. 1109 01:16:49,582 --> 01:16:53,552 The other night, as I was leaving the recovery center, 1110 01:16:53,652 --> 01:16:56,754 Mr. Haig asked me if I wanted some marijuana. 1111 01:16:58,391 --> 01:17:03,676 Under California law, the possession of marijuana is a felony. 1112 01:17:03,776 --> 01:17:05,523 That's true. 1113 01:17:05,623 --> 01:17:07,862 What is it you say, Mr. Haig? Cheerios? 1114 01:17:09,811 --> 01:17:12,847 There you have it, the whole sorry saga. 1115 01:17:12,947 --> 01:17:17,686 Ernesto did do one thing to justify his exorbitant fee. 1116 01:17:18,937 --> 01:17:21,415 He got me this one hour with you. 1117 01:17:22,266 --> 01:17:25,227 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Jake. 1118 01:17:25,327 --> 01:17:27,675 - Time's up. - Jake, please. 1119 01:17:34,779 --> 01:17:37,135 I love you. Do you hear me? I am so sorry. 1120 01:18:20,426 --> 01:18:22,812 "That is no country for old men. 1121 01:18:25,289 --> 01:18:28,542 The young in one another's arms, 1122 01:18:29,143 --> 01:18:31,003 birds in the trees, 1123 01:18:31,103 --> 01:18:34,936 those dying generations... at their song." 1124 01:18:35,817 --> 01:18:37,769 So, what's Yeats saying here? 1125 01:18:37,869 --> 01:18:42,485 He's a 60-year-old man looking at young people screwing and living, 1126 01:18:42,585 --> 01:18:45,605 blissfully unthinking about their own mortality. 1127 01:18:46,035 --> 01:18:48,435 Yeats knows he's just an aged man, 1128 01:18:49,355 --> 01:18:51,977 but his dreams... 1129 01:18:52,078 --> 01:18:54,053 are of Byzantium. 1130 01:19:01,176 --> 01:19:02,896 - Hello? - This is Memorial General. 1131 01:19:02,996 --> 01:19:05,682 We need to talk to you about your father. 1132 01:19:41,050 --> 01:19:44,416 What the buggering hell are you doing here? 1133 01:19:44,887 --> 01:19:47,215 You hate hospitals. 1134 01:19:47,415 --> 01:19:49,414 You're right. 1135 01:19:49,514 --> 01:19:52,292 I hate bloody hospitals. 1136 01:19:52,392 --> 01:19:55,294 But I love the nurses. 1137 01:20:01,238 --> 01:20:03,520 How's my little Jake? 1138 01:20:06,785 --> 01:20:09,091 He's all right, Dad. 1139 01:20:10,564 --> 01:20:12,622 You know, I... 1140 01:20:14,001 --> 01:20:17,284 I don't think I could have done what you did. 1141 01:20:18,822 --> 01:20:23,540 You stuck with that boy through all the muck and bullets. 1142 01:20:26,297 --> 01:20:29,265 You're a better man than I, Gunga Din. 1143 01:20:34,564 --> 01:20:36,979 I don't know about that, Dad. 1144 01:20:37,917 --> 01:20:41,910 You still shagging the... Yank totty's sister, are we? 1145 01:20:42,010 --> 01:20:44,253 No, I blew that one. 1146 01:20:46,601 --> 01:20:49,729 Threw away a pearl beyond price. 1147 01:20:49,829 --> 01:20:53,550 Totty and Totty's sister. 1148 01:20:53,650 --> 01:20:57,200 None of us are talking. It's all a big mess. 1149 01:21:04,770 --> 01:21:09,411 Marvelous bloody place, though, isn't it? Californ-i-a? 1150 01:21:10,976 --> 01:21:15,995 Sunshine, beaches, and girls. Yeah. 1151 01:21:17,350 --> 01:21:19,452 Marijuana. 1152 01:21:19,552 --> 01:21:23,163 God, how the buggering hell did I miss out on all that for so long? 1153 01:21:23,724 --> 01:21:25,645 You came. 1154 01:21:26,245 --> 01:21:28,464 You saw it once. 1155 01:21:31,289 --> 01:21:34,364 It all goes so fast. 1156 01:21:36,253 --> 01:21:39,516 These buggers here, they don't think I've got long. 1157 01:21:42,476 --> 01:21:44,092 Well... 1158 01:21:44,392 --> 01:21:46,553 it's all a load of bollocks, really. 1159 01:21:47,154 --> 01:21:48,837 What is? 1160 01:21:50,117 --> 01:21:54,217 You know, there's nothing honorable in misery, Richard. 1161 01:21:55,231 --> 01:21:57,931 Carpe diem. 1162 01:21:58,031 --> 01:22:01,568 Boff and be merry. 1163 01:22:02,054 --> 01:22:05,933 Now, listen. You listen to me carefully. 1164 01:22:06,033 --> 01:22:11,618 This might be the most important bit of advice I'll ever give you. 1165 01:22:16,494 --> 01:22:18,757 For God's sake, man... 1166 01:22:18,857 --> 01:22:21,539 go and get your bloody girl. 1167 01:22:22,017 --> 01:22:23,894 Go on. 1168 01:22:24,595 --> 01:22:26,617 Bugger off. 1169 01:22:38,842 --> 01:22:40,856 Hey, Richard. 1170 01:22:43,239 --> 01:22:45,536 You remember my epitaph. 1171 01:22:47,368 --> 01:22:49,324 Of course I do, Dad. 1172 01:22:50,713 --> 01:22:52,919 Of course I do. 1173 01:23:54,696 --> 01:23:58,128 Byzantium is the place he longs for. 1174 01:23:58,458 --> 01:24:00,802 He needs to make this journey. 1175 01:24:00,902 --> 01:24:04,423 I'm going to sort this all out. I promise you. Okay, Jake? 1176 01:24:04,523 --> 01:24:05,979 How? 1177 01:24:08,343 --> 01:24:10,541 I'll Skype you tomorrow, okay? 1178 01:24:18,746 --> 01:24:20,297 Is she talking to Olivia yet? 1179 01:24:20,398 --> 01:24:23,609 Olivia's book launches here next week. Kate isn't even going. 1180 01:24:24,510 --> 01:24:27,984 - She's icing everyone out, even me. - All right. 1181 01:24:28,485 --> 01:24:29,837 See ya, Brian. 1182 01:24:29,937 --> 01:24:32,802 Yeats knows that unless he makes this journey, 1183 01:24:32,902 --> 01:24:37,157 unless he defies logic and authority, 1184 01:24:37,357 --> 01:24:42,182 unless his soul claps hands and sings out loud... 1185 01:24:45,073 --> 01:24:47,434 he is nothing more... 1186 01:24:48,134 --> 01:24:51,520 than a tattered coat upon a stick. 1187 01:25:19,742 --> 01:25:22,157 You old bugger. 1188 01:25:25,348 --> 01:25:28,241 There is a country for old men. 1189 01:25:30,896 --> 01:25:33,081 If not now, when? 1190 01:25:34,332 --> 01:25:39,491 Ernesto, Richard Haig. C�mo est�? 1191 01:26:35,796 --> 01:26:38,370 Adios! Adios, amigos. 1192 01:26:49,110 --> 01:26:51,672 - Hey, Dad. - Hi, Jakey. 1193 01:26:51,772 --> 01:26:53,922 Go to the door and tell me what you see. 1194 01:26:54,023 --> 01:26:55,795 Okay. 1195 01:27:03,466 --> 01:27:07,637 Oh, look at you, boy! Oh, look at you. 1196 01:27:07,737 --> 01:27:09,502 Richie! 1197 01:27:12,208 --> 01:27:15,820 Thank God you're here, dude. Thank God. Thank God. 1198 01:27:15,920 --> 01:27:19,208 - You can let go now, Brian. That's okay. - Okay. All right. Okay. 1199 01:27:20,209 --> 01:27:22,604 Can you believe it, Mom? He's really here. 1200 01:27:22,894 --> 01:27:26,415 - Hi, Kate. - Hey, how did you get here? 1201 01:27:26,515 --> 01:27:29,434 I just came across the border. It's an old trick of mine. 1202 01:27:29,534 --> 01:27:33,355 - What if you get caught? - I won't. I'll be gone before they know it. 1203 01:27:33,455 --> 01:27:38,152 Remember my lawyer, Ernesto? He's going to sort this whole mess out, okay? 1204 01:27:38,252 --> 01:27:39,870 - Yay! - Don't you worry. 1205 01:27:39,970 --> 01:27:42,039 It's only going to cost me a fortune. 1206 01:27:42,139 --> 01:27:45,496 And look, Kate, we can't keep going like this. 1207 01:27:45,596 --> 01:27:50,140 I mean, Jake, he needs his mom and dad to be adults, right? 1208 01:27:50,640 --> 01:27:52,312 Yeah. 1209 01:27:53,559 --> 01:27:56,913 Look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry we hurt you. 1210 01:27:57,013 --> 01:28:01,126 Olivia wanted to tell you, and it was my fault she didn't. 1211 01:28:01,627 --> 01:28:05,514 But you're sisters. Come on. Cut her some slack. 1212 01:28:05,614 --> 01:28:08,120 Life is so short, Kate. 1213 01:28:08,834 --> 01:28:11,997 Like my dad used to say, carpe diem. 1214 01:28:12,097 --> 01:28:14,736 Let's boff and be merry? 1215 01:28:17,051 --> 01:28:19,570 - Okay. - Great. 1216 01:28:19,670 --> 01:28:22,944 Great. And... one last thing. 1217 01:28:23,382 --> 01:28:26,788 - Can I take a shower, please? - He really stinks. 1218 01:28:28,162 --> 01:28:33,389 Thank you, everybody, for coming. I would like to thank my agent, 1219 01:28:33,490 --> 01:28:35,056 Tim Prince. 1220 01:28:35,156 --> 01:28:38,130 I would also like to thank my... 1221 01:28:38,230 --> 01:28:41,343 ex brother-in-law, Richard. 1222 01:28:41,443 --> 01:28:44,896 He was the inspiration for the burnt-out, 1223 01:28:44,996 --> 01:28:49,284 recovering-alcoholic cop who saves the day. 1224 01:28:49,734 --> 01:28:52,441 Although he doesn't know it, so let's not tell him. 1225 01:28:53,421 --> 01:28:58,385 And, lastly, I would like to thank somebody very special to me 1226 01:28:58,485 --> 01:29:01,238 who couldn't be here today, 1227 01:29:01,338 --> 01:29:05,262 which is nobody's fault but mine. 1228 01:29:32,745 --> 01:29:35,116 All right. Here we are. 1229 01:29:48,328 --> 01:29:50,001 Hey. 1230 01:29:54,084 --> 01:29:57,331 I'm so sorry. So sorry. 1231 01:29:57,432 --> 01:29:59,423 I'm sorry, too. 1232 01:29:59,523 --> 01:30:01,988 Let's never fight again, okay? 1233 01:30:03,060 --> 01:30:04,916 Come here. 1234 01:30:13,704 --> 01:30:17,083 - Let's go back inside. - Just give me a minute, all right? 1235 01:30:17,183 --> 01:30:18,881 Okay. 1236 01:30:29,062 --> 01:30:30,818 Hi. 1237 01:30:32,123 --> 01:30:36,174 - You came. - I came. Piece of cake. 1238 01:30:39,856 --> 01:30:42,355 I came because I love you. 1239 01:30:43,777 --> 01:30:46,175 I came because I need you. 1240 01:30:47,572 --> 01:30:49,825 I need my son. 1241 01:30:49,925 --> 01:30:52,211 I need my family. 1242 01:30:52,311 --> 01:30:54,367 That's why I came. 1243 01:30:56,582 --> 01:30:59,910 - You want to hear something crazy? - What? 1244 01:31:00,010 --> 01:31:01,554 I knew you'd come. 1245 01:31:01,654 --> 01:31:04,874 - It's irrational. - It's romantic. 1246 01:31:05,575 --> 01:31:07,628 You and I... 1247 01:31:07,728 --> 01:31:11,760 we've only had moments. Now we have time. 1248 01:31:36,090 --> 01:31:40,949 I spent my whole life in opposition to this man. 1249 01:31:42,179 --> 01:31:45,036 Honestly, he never did a bloody thing for me, 1250 01:31:45,967 --> 01:31:48,098 except this. 1251 01:31:49,679 --> 01:31:52,603 Asking me to scatter his ashes here. 1252 01:31:55,502 --> 01:31:57,908 And it saved my life, 1253 01:31:59,406 --> 01:32:02,709 because it brought me back to the people I love most in this world. 1254 01:32:09,742 --> 01:32:13,228 - Even you, Brian. - You're the man, Richard. 1255 01:32:13,598 --> 01:32:17,566 There comes a time, and there's always a time, and I guess this is the time. 1256 01:32:17,666 --> 01:32:21,724 So, Jakey, shall we set grandpa free? 1257 01:32:30,413 --> 01:32:32,469 Okay, Dad. 1258 01:32:33,107 --> 01:32:35,388 Enjoy paradise. 1259 01:32:42,976 --> 01:32:45,762 So how long are you staying? 1260 01:32:45,862 --> 01:32:48,515 Okay, Jakey, listen to me here. 1261 01:32:48,615 --> 01:32:50,879 I have to sort out a few things first. 1262 01:32:52,602 --> 01:32:54,430 But... 1263 01:32:54,530 --> 01:32:58,150 maybe marrying your aunt might help. 1264 01:33:00,377 --> 01:33:03,901 - What? - Well, I am down on one knee. 1265 01:33:07,200 --> 01:33:10,224 Then get up and kiss me again. 101437

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