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1
00:01:02,100 --> 00:01:04,440
It's important you understand.
2
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It's not you, it's me.
3
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What we have is so special.
4
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I love you more than I can say,
5
00:01:17,358 --> 00:01:20,089
but I'm sorry, truly,
6
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because... I fucked up.
7
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Look...
8
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I owe you an explanation, but honestly,
I don't know where to begin.
9
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Well...
10
00:01:36,307 --> 00:01:39,458
maybe there, at the beginning.
11
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You see, I grew up above a great party.
12
00:02:00,118 --> 00:02:02,380
- Gordon!
- Mommy?
13
00:02:02,481 --> 00:02:05,165
- She's in the kitchen.
- What are you doing?
14
00:02:05,265 --> 00:02:08,491
I'm waiting for your mother to bring out
the hors d'oeuvres. Now bugger off.
15
00:02:10,842 --> 00:02:14,200
After school, I used to love
to listen to my father lecture.
16
00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:18,170
Now the faculty would have me
teach you it was Wordsworth,
17
00:02:18,270 --> 00:02:19,868
Keats, and Coleridge,
18
00:02:19,968 --> 00:02:24,865
who in writing about love,
defined the Romantic age.
19
00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:29,438
And they've told me to ignore Byron.
20
00:02:30,049 --> 00:02:33,520
Mad, bad, and dangerous to know was
how one of his many lovers described him.
21
00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:36,255
He was controversial.
22
00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:40,170
Now did you know,
this esteemed establishment told Byron
23
00:02:40,270 --> 00:02:42,879
that he wasn't allowed to bring
his beloved dogs to college?
24
00:02:42,979 --> 00:02:46,699
So he said screw the rules. He went out
and he bought himself a bear.
25
00:02:47,565 --> 00:02:52,222
Brought it to class on a chained leash.
He tied up to that very pipe just there.
26
00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:57,895
So you see, it was Byron who defined
the Romantic age, which wasn't about love.
27
00:02:57,995 --> 00:03:01,181
It was about going your own way,
28
00:03:01,281 --> 00:03:03,722
defying authority
and following your heart,
29
00:03:03,822 --> 00:03:06,337
sticking it to the man,
and as many women as possible.
30
00:03:06,437 --> 00:03:09,558
Now that... that is Romantic.
31
00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:12,176
And if the faculty
don't like me saying so,
32
00:03:12,276 --> 00:03:15,081
well, they can take this job
and they can shove it.
33
00:03:15,181 --> 00:03:19,324
Because like Mr. Bob Dylan, I ain't gonna
work on Maggie's farm no more.
34
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:24,926
Dad hated authority,
and everyone loved him for it.
35
00:03:25,026 --> 00:03:29,504
All I wanted was to be just like him.
36
00:03:33,685 --> 00:03:35,962
Forget the critics.
37
00:03:36,062 --> 00:03:38,440
Let them have their opinions.
38
00:03:38,540 --> 00:03:42,594
Let them publish their books and brag
about them at tedious faculty parties,
39
00:03:42,694 --> 00:03:47,609
and let university librarians
file those books away.
40
00:03:47,975 --> 00:03:50,803
The faculty has called this class
41
00:03:50,903 --> 00:03:55,457
"The Romantics and Literary Theory."
42
00:03:56,476 --> 00:04:00,305
I want you all to forget
the second half of this sentence.
43
00:04:00,405 --> 00:04:04,319
There's nothing theoretical
about the romantics.
44
00:04:07,195 --> 00:04:09,772
"Where true love burns,
45
00:04:09,872 --> 00:04:14,679
"desire is love's pure passion.
46
00:04:15,453 --> 00:04:18,331
"It is the reflex
47
00:04:18,431 --> 00:04:21,084
"of our earthly frame...
48
00:04:21,902 --> 00:04:24,930
"that takes its meaning
from the nobler part
49
00:04:25,030 --> 00:04:27,714
and but translates...
50
00:04:28,114 --> 00:04:30,925
the language of the heart."
51
00:04:33,972 --> 00:04:36,819
Wakey, wakey, Professor Haig.
52
00:04:38,210 --> 00:04:41,757
Oh, shit. It's Saturday, isn't it?
53
00:04:41,858 --> 00:04:44,683
No, don't look like that.
Are you sure about this?
54
00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:46,811
I mean, I make a terrible
first impression.
55
00:04:46,911 --> 00:04:50,682
Will you relax, Richard?
My dad is gonna love you.
56
00:04:50,782 --> 00:04:53,651
- Really?
- Yeah, you'll have lots to talk about.
57
00:04:53,751 --> 00:04:57,911
Yeah? Corporate hard-nosed raider
meets libidinous lit professor.
58
00:04:58,011 --> 00:05:00,276
- It's a match made in heaven.
- I just want my dad
59
00:05:00,376 --> 00:05:03,400
to meet the wonderful man
I've been dating for the last six months.
60
00:05:03,500 --> 00:05:05,905
- Six months?
- Broke your record, didn't I?
61
00:05:06,406 --> 00:05:09,534
- Crazy.
- "Love is begun by time,
62
00:05:09,634 --> 00:05:14,041
and time qualifies the spark
and fire of it all."
63
00:05:14,690 --> 00:05:17,984
Relax, you're still very sparky, darling.
Really sparky, I mean...
64
00:05:18,084 --> 00:05:22,355
Well, my liege, I must hie me
to Heathrow, thou to London,
65
00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:25,831
- chimes of 6:00 sharp.
- Sure, of course.
66
00:05:25,941 --> 00:05:28,864
- Sharp.
- Sharp. 6:00. Chimes.
67
00:05:55,498 --> 00:05:57,150
Sal.
68
00:05:57,250 --> 00:06:00,430
Sal, I've got to go. Why?
69
00:06:00,530 --> 00:06:05,083
Because we've been talking for so long
I've lost track of time, space, and myself.
70
00:06:06,729 --> 00:06:09,793
Hello? Hello? Olivia?
71
00:06:10,093 --> 00:06:12,389
- Not to worry, madame.
- I'll call maintenance.
72
00:06:12,489 --> 00:06:15,077
- We'll fish it out later.
- Are you there? Can you hear me?
73
00:06:15,177 --> 00:06:17,910
- Please don't.
- Hello?
74
00:06:18,539 --> 00:06:20,326
Olivia?
75
00:06:39,678 --> 00:06:41,337
A�pa!
76
00:06:41,437 --> 00:06:45,326
There you go. They fishing
your phone out of the drain?
77
00:06:47,969 --> 00:06:49,304
No.
78
00:06:49,404 --> 00:06:54,235
I told them not to.
I am cutting myself off from the world.
79
00:06:54,518 --> 00:06:57,356
Footloose, fancy-free.
80
00:06:59,114 --> 00:07:03,158
Won't that be lonely?
An island unto yourself?
81
00:07:03,258 --> 00:07:05,279
- No.
- Madame?
82
00:07:05,379 --> 00:07:08,074
- Can I have a glass of red wine, please?
- Yes, madame.
83
00:07:08,174 --> 00:07:13,874
No. I would populate the island
with all new people.
84
00:07:14,939 --> 00:07:17,366
People that I actually like.
85
00:07:17,466 --> 00:07:19,525
Yes, but then things change.
86
00:07:19,625 --> 00:07:21,711
The people you thought you'd like...
87
00:07:21,811 --> 00:07:24,300
turn out to be as bad
as the people you left behind.
88
00:07:24,580 --> 00:07:28,500
Soon you're moving to another island,
and so it goes on, ad infinitum.
89
00:07:29,219 --> 00:07:33,158
You know my solution?
Get along with everyone.
90
00:07:33,832 --> 00:07:35,701
Really?
91
00:07:36,101 --> 00:07:40,882
Then why are you here alone
in a hotel bar on a Saturday night?
92
00:07:41,082 --> 00:07:43,919
Well, I certainly
wouldn't keep you waiting.
93
00:07:45,010 --> 00:07:49,206
Exactly. Because you never know
what kind of...
94
00:07:49,306 --> 00:07:52,661
handsome stranger
I might start talking to.
95
00:07:57,023 --> 00:08:00,659
"I do desire we become
better strangers."
96
00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:03,255
Pulling out the Shakespeare.
97
00:08:03,355 --> 00:08:05,414
Is that line successful
for you normally?
98
00:08:05,514 --> 00:08:08,300
I had my moments with it, you know?
99
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:09,994
Comme ci, comme ca.
100
00:08:10,094 --> 00:08:12,924
Excuse me, sir. Ma'am.
101
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:19,329
Thank you. You're so kind.
102
00:08:19,829 --> 00:08:22,166
There you go. Back on the grid.
103
00:08:22,774 --> 00:08:24,935
Why is that the most helpful people
104
00:08:25,035 --> 00:08:27,953
are always around
when you do not want any help?
105
00:08:28,053 --> 00:08:31,557
Give him a minute.
He'll be back with a shoemaker.
106
00:08:33,451 --> 00:08:37,723
On the other hand, it's nice to be
looked after every now and then.
107
00:08:37,823 --> 00:08:40,951
The other day I found myself
opening a door for a man.
108
00:08:41,051 --> 00:08:43,279
What happened to chivalry?
109
00:08:44,029 --> 00:08:47,308
- You know why guys open doors for women?
- No.
110
00:08:47,408 --> 00:08:49,635
So we can check out your asses
as you walk by.
111
00:08:49,735 --> 00:08:52,842
Well, you're just full of all these
amazing insights, aren't you?
112
00:08:52,943 --> 00:08:57,029
I can tell within one minute
of meeting someone...
113
00:08:58,602 --> 00:09:00,339
if I want to be with them.
114
00:09:01,380 --> 00:09:03,465
How about me?
115
00:09:03,566 --> 00:09:05,303
Do you want to be with me?
116
00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:08,582
Yes.
117
00:09:09,739 --> 00:09:12,010
For one more minute.
118
00:09:13,593 --> 00:09:15,243
Okay.
119
00:09:16,879 --> 00:09:19,387
You've got a minute.
120
00:09:20,108 --> 00:09:22,629
What are you going to do with it?
121
00:09:26,832 --> 00:09:30,102
Olivia? Oh, my God! Hi!
122
00:09:30,202 --> 00:09:32,439
What are you doing here?
123
00:09:34,047 --> 00:09:37,526
I was in Dublin in the book festival,
124
00:09:37,626 --> 00:09:39,860
and Dad called me and told me
that you were coming,
125
00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:43,791
that he was meeting you here, and that
I should come and surprise you. Surprise!
126
00:09:43,891 --> 00:09:46,652
- He flaked on us, didn't he?
- Yes.
127
00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:49,257
So how did you two make
the connection? Hi!
128
00:09:51,290 --> 00:09:53,256
You're the famous Olivia?
129
00:09:54,685 --> 00:09:59,774
My beautiful sister Olivia.
Olivia, my gorgeous Englishman...
130
00:09:59,874 --> 00:10:03,213
- ... Richard Haig. Thank you.
- You look great.
131
00:10:05,622 --> 00:10:09,017
So me, my dad, and my mom are staying
at this hotel that we always stay at,
132
00:10:09,117 --> 00:10:13,722
and my dad keeps running off saying he has
meetings, or appointments, or whatever.
133
00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:17,467
And finally my mom gets fed up,
and she decides to tail him one day
134
00:10:17,767 --> 00:10:20,079
to one of his "meetings".
135
00:10:20,329 --> 00:10:23,048
Ends up following him
to the other end of the beach
136
00:10:23,148 --> 00:10:26,903
where Livvy is staying with her mom.
137
00:10:27,469 --> 00:10:30,330
And all hell breaks loose.
138
00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:32,792
Our dad is leading a double life,
139
00:10:32,892 --> 00:10:37,062
- like raising two families at the same time.
- What a naughty boy.
140
00:10:37,162 --> 00:10:39,834
Right? Crazy.
141
00:10:42,952 --> 00:10:44,701
Anyway...
142
00:10:45,202 --> 00:10:49,935
I take Kate to the beach, I'm sitting there
and I'm trying to process everything.
143
00:10:50,035 --> 00:10:53,689
What my father did, my poor mom,
144
00:10:53,789 --> 00:10:56,341
and the fact that I have
this little lovely sister.
145
00:10:56,441 --> 00:10:59,110
For me, I mean, I was stoked.
I always wanted a big sister.
146
00:10:59,210 --> 00:11:04,958
And I decide the only way we can protect
each other from this craziness
147
00:11:05,259 --> 00:11:09,774
is if Kate and I make
a pact, no secrets.
148
00:11:09,874 --> 00:11:12,041
Absolute honesty.
149
00:11:12,141 --> 00:11:15,903
From this day forward,
we would tell each other everything.
150
00:11:16,003 --> 00:11:18,375
No matter what, always.
151
00:11:18,475 --> 00:11:22,359
And we have.
And we're, like, best friends.
152
00:11:22,459 --> 00:11:24,236
So, Livvy...
153
00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:26,909
how is your Alan?
154
00:11:29,083 --> 00:11:30,818
What?
155
00:11:31,535 --> 00:11:33,168
Please. Tell us about Alan.
156
00:11:35,122 --> 00:11:37,136
He's great.
157
00:11:37,584 --> 00:11:41,947
Livvy's Alan is the Alan Sloan.
You know, the romance writer?
158
00:11:42,047 --> 00:11:44,574
And Livvy edits his books,
and they're totally in love.
159
00:11:44,674 --> 00:11:47,644
Madly and totally in love
with a romance writer.
160
00:11:47,745 --> 00:11:50,463
- That sounds fascinating.
- Well,
161
00:11:50,563 --> 00:11:55,085
no more than the Romantics professor's
passion for his students, surely.
162
00:11:55,185 --> 00:11:57,354
- Livvy, be nice.
- Yes, Kate.
163
00:11:57,455 --> 00:11:59,507
Would either of you like
a little taste of my steak?
164
00:11:59,607 --> 00:12:02,278
- No thanks.
- It's very tender.
165
00:12:05,996 --> 00:12:09,035
- You're unbelievable, aren't you?
- I'm sorry?
166
00:12:09,135 --> 00:12:12,436
Of course. On the verge
of graduating, going home.
167
00:12:12,536 --> 00:12:14,313
She's the perfect catch
for you, isn't she?
168
00:12:14,413 --> 00:12:16,683
- Hey.
- I get it. I get it.
169
00:12:16,783 --> 00:12:20,361
He's hot, and funny, and smart,
170
00:12:20,461 --> 00:12:23,122
and he's got the suave accent.
171
00:12:23,222 --> 00:12:27,730
But all I see is a lothario
with an eternally wandering eye
172
00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:30,397
who simply charmed
the pants off you, literally.
173
00:12:30,497 --> 00:12:35,627
- Livvy, what are you doing?
- Kate, I know this feels like love,
174
00:12:35,727 --> 00:12:39,547
but no, no, no, no.
This is not love. This is a fling.
175
00:12:39,647 --> 00:12:41,992
How do you know?
What are you even saying?
176
00:12:42,092 --> 00:12:46,501
Obviously, you're looking
for a father figure, but in our case
177
00:12:46,601 --> 00:12:52,363
it means a self-centered, cheating
womanizer who's not to be trusted.
178
00:12:52,464 --> 00:12:54,888
And you're just so young,
you can't see it.
179
00:12:54,988 --> 00:12:57,007
How young were you
when you ran off with Anwar.
180
00:12:57,107 --> 00:12:59,627
- We thought I was pregnant!
- Well, I am.
181
00:13:00,539 --> 00:13:02,513
- What?
- What?
182
00:13:02,613 --> 00:13:06,777
- I wanted to tell you earlier, but...
- Pregnant? With a baby?
183
00:13:08,086 --> 00:13:09,499
Yeah.
184
00:13:09,599 --> 00:13:13,107
I wanted to tell you another way,
but this is like so weird, I just...
185
00:13:13,207 --> 00:13:16,856
No, this is the perfect way.
This is really the perfect way, I think.
186
00:13:18,312 --> 00:13:21,791
You know what? This is great.
Really great.
187
00:13:21,891 --> 00:13:26,238
- Well, that was so heartfelt.
- Livvy. Livvy.
188
00:13:26,338 --> 00:13:28,574
Thank you so much for supper.
189
00:13:28,674 --> 00:13:31,476
Remind me never to do this again.
190
00:13:31,576 --> 00:13:33,996
I'm just going to go outside
and get some fresh air.
191
00:13:34,096 --> 00:13:35,564
- What do you mean?
- Excuse me. Air.
192
00:13:35,664 --> 00:13:37,456
- Yeah, run.
- What?
193
00:13:37,867 --> 00:13:39,526
- Richard?
- Yeah?
194
00:13:39,626 --> 00:13:41,295
- Richard? Look.
- Yeah, I'm here.
195
00:13:41,395 --> 00:13:45,991
I know I just dropped a bomb on you
back there, so right here, right now,
196
00:13:46,091 --> 00:13:48,678
- I'm giving you the out.
- I just want some air, that's all.
197
00:13:48,778 --> 00:13:53,200
You just need some time to think.
It's fine. I get it.
198
00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:58,154
So I'm moving to LA.
199
00:13:58,254 --> 00:14:01,024
I got a really cool job
at a venture capital firm.
200
00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:04,077
- You're full of surprises today.
- You'll love LA.
201
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:07,764
It'll be like Cambridge-ish,
but with a lot of palm trees,
202
00:14:07,864 --> 00:14:11,394
and, like, chicks with tans and stuff.
203
00:14:13,887 --> 00:14:17,040
- Oh, honey, you're all clammy.
- I just need some air. That's all, really.
204
00:14:17,140 --> 00:14:18,734
- Okay.
- Yeah, okay.
205
00:14:18,834 --> 00:14:21,752
I'll be back in there. Go ahead. You go.
206
00:14:22,379 --> 00:14:24,147
- Richard.
- Yeah?
207
00:14:24,548 --> 00:14:29,190
- You're going to be a great father.
- Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
208
00:14:38,179 --> 00:14:40,694
Did you have a good dinner then, sir?
209
00:14:58,106 --> 00:15:01,703
All right, where the buggering hell
have you been? I said 6:00.
210
00:15:01,803 --> 00:15:06,697
Sorry about that, Dad. Didn't realize
your grumbling ran on such a tight schedule.
211
00:15:07,567 --> 00:15:10,514
Bloody miserable out there, as usual.
212
00:15:15,783 --> 00:15:17,210
Don't touch that.
213
00:15:17,311 --> 00:15:19,605
Good God, Dad. I'm not five years old.
214
00:15:19,705 --> 00:15:22,683
- Hi, Richard, dear.
- Hello, Joan.
215
00:15:22,783 --> 00:15:27,613
- How is everything?
- Oh, just terrific. Thanks for asking.
216
00:15:27,713 --> 00:15:31,009
You still boffing
that Yank totty, are you?
217
00:15:31,409 --> 00:15:33,995
Yes, she's a great girl.
218
00:15:34,095 --> 00:15:37,173
Bright, beautiful, ambitious.
219
00:15:37,273 --> 00:15:41,658
You mean a horrible little upstart
determined to go places.
220
00:15:41,778 --> 00:15:45,565
So, tell me, when are you going
to start going places?
221
00:15:45,665 --> 00:15:47,384
- Good God. Please.
- Oh, come on. Jesus.
222
00:15:47,484 --> 00:15:49,370
Come on, when I was your age,
223
00:15:49,470 --> 00:15:52,439
I mean, I'd been the head
of the department for seven years.
224
00:15:52,539 --> 00:15:55,708
Yeah, and it made you
so happy, didn't it, Dad?
225
00:15:55,808 --> 00:15:57,760
All right, what's the grievance today?
226
00:15:57,861 --> 00:16:01,774
Split infinitives, too many used?
Too many women with jobs?
227
00:16:01,874 --> 00:16:05,769
It's his waterworks. He's got
to go back into hospital next week.
228
00:16:05,869 --> 00:16:08,841
Stop talking about my cock, woman.
229
00:16:14,278 --> 00:16:16,732
Tell me something, Dad.
230
00:16:20,826 --> 00:16:22,895
Why did you and Mom get married?
231
00:16:22,996 --> 00:16:26,524
What kind of an inane question is that
for a Thursday evening?
232
00:16:26,624 --> 00:16:29,218
For a man who revels
in reckless promiscuity,
233
00:16:29,368 --> 00:16:31,990
your four marriages
do beg some questions.
234
00:16:33,848 --> 00:16:36,996
Your mother fed me regularly.
235
00:16:37,096 --> 00:16:40,464
She pleasured me
half decently now and then.
236
00:16:40,564 --> 00:16:44,943
- What more could a man want?
- Oh, I don't know, friendship?
237
00:16:45,043 --> 00:16:48,974
Someone to see the world with,
have a laugh with?
238
00:16:49,214 --> 00:16:51,543
Maybe even start a family with.
239
00:16:52,592 --> 00:16:55,462
Good God, man.
240
00:16:55,562 --> 00:16:59,033
You've fallen for that little slice
of American pie.
241
00:16:59,133 --> 00:17:00,843
- Dad...
- Now you listen to me.
242
00:17:00,943 --> 00:17:05,598
This might be the most important
bit of advice that I ever give you.
243
00:17:06,549 --> 00:17:11,566
American women may be fun and Victoria's
Secret when you first bed them,
244
00:17:11,666 --> 00:17:15,325
but as soon as they get their claws
into you, they stop fucking
245
00:17:15,425 --> 00:17:20,658
and start eating, and the only ass
you're going to get is a fat one.
246
00:17:20,758 --> 00:17:21,913
Why did open my mouth?
247
00:17:22,013 --> 00:17:27,729
American women invariably become
spouters of self-help platitudes,
248
00:17:27,829 --> 00:17:32,743
they're addicted to designer labels,
dieting, and frozen yogurt.
249
00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:37,305
Overall, thoroughly nasty,
selfish, vain creatures
250
00:17:37,406 --> 00:17:40,786
that don't fuck!
251
00:17:41,852 --> 00:17:45,101
Thank you for your fatherly advice.
252
00:17:45,414 --> 00:17:47,445
Good night, Joan.
253
00:17:49,293 --> 00:17:53,365
Bugger off then! See if I care.
254
00:18:00,429 --> 00:18:02,940
Kate! Kate!
255
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:06,068
Screw Cambridge. I'm in.
256
00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:07,752
- Really?
- Really.
257
00:18:07,852 --> 00:18:10,392
- Really?
- Yes, come on!
258
00:18:12,884 --> 00:18:16,454
Up and away we set off
259
00:18:16,904 --> 00:18:20,502
Secretly scared we'd get lost
260
00:18:21,084 --> 00:18:25,113
Up in the clouds over the town
261
00:18:25,213 --> 00:18:27,888
Beyond the wall
262
00:18:29,201 --> 00:18:33,205
Some of us knew we might fall
263
00:18:33,305 --> 00:18:37,104
Under the weight of it all
264
00:18:37,310 --> 00:18:41,347
And though we'd been warned
of the oncoming storms
265
00:18:41,447 --> 00:18:44,688
Still we stood tall
266
00:18:45,676 --> 00:18:49,482
So from the moonlight
267
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:53,810
Straight to the sunrise
268
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:57,656
This will be our time
269
00:18:57,914 --> 00:19:02,047
Free-falling nosedive
270
00:19:09,017 --> 00:19:11,361
Look into the world, Jakey.
271
00:19:12,095 --> 00:19:14,722
It's a beautiful world.
272
00:19:16,458 --> 00:19:19,269
Do you need the booby now?
Do you want the booby?
273
00:19:19,369 --> 00:19:23,240
Yes. There's a boy after my own heart.
274
00:19:26,594 --> 00:19:30,352
The whole world in our sights
275
00:19:30,452 --> 00:19:34,526
Like a miniature paradise...
276
00:19:39,957 --> 00:19:43,609
Okay, family, here we go.
277
00:19:43,709 --> 00:19:48,074
Here you are, Jakey. Welcome home.
A modest little house...
278
00:19:48,174 --> 00:19:50,554
which your granddad bought
your mom out of guilt.
279
00:19:50,655 --> 00:19:52,821
- Don't fall in the pool.
- I won't.
280
00:19:52,921 --> 00:19:55,089
You probably will never meet anyway.
281
00:19:55,189 --> 00:19:57,301
He has a very bad habit
of never showing up.
282
00:19:57,402 --> 00:19:58,621
Hey.
283
00:20:00,186 --> 00:20:01,932
All right.
284
00:20:07,086 --> 00:20:09,804
Oh, I'm going to call Livvy.
Can you take the baby?
285
00:20:09,905 --> 00:20:11,856
- Sure.
- Okay.
286
00:20:11,956 --> 00:20:13,494
Okay.
287
00:20:45,575 --> 00:20:48,831
I know it's easier to read the critics
and the CliffNotes,
288
00:20:49,921 --> 00:20:51,990
but forget about them.
289
00:20:52,090 --> 00:20:56,152
Read the poems. Put the time in.
290
00:20:56,553 --> 00:21:02,175
After all, "Nothing will come
of nothing."
291
00:21:03,594 --> 00:21:05,642
What was that from?
292
00:21:10,234 --> 00:21:11,778
Anyone?
293
00:21:12,779 --> 00:21:15,623
- Hey. There you go.
- I'm having trouble getting on the Wi-Fi.
294
00:21:15,723 --> 00:21:17,010
What's the password again?
295
00:21:18,626 --> 00:21:21,054
I think they're all on Prozac.
296
00:21:21,154 --> 00:21:23,731
Did you hear from the university yet?
297
00:21:24,932 --> 00:21:28,527
- No. They went with the other guy.
- I told you to kiss ass more.
298
00:21:28,627 --> 00:21:32,073
- Angela, please.
- I'm sure something will open up soon at ULA.
299
00:21:32,173 --> 00:21:34,427
Yeah, well, one can
only hope, can't one?
300
00:21:34,527 --> 00:21:37,770
In the meantime, I'm glad that
you're still slumming it here with us.
301
00:21:37,871 --> 00:21:40,398
You city college lot
don't pull any punches do you?
302
00:21:40,498 --> 00:21:43,144
- We will go 16 rounds with anyone.
- Bring it on.
303
00:21:58,117 --> 00:21:59,912
Asshole.
304
00:22:00,828 --> 00:22:02,313
Asshole.
305
00:22:02,413 --> 00:22:05,399
Never let me hear you
say that word, Jake.
306
00:22:05,900 --> 00:22:09,829
The word is "ahh's-hole" not "aah's-hole."
Can you say "ahh's-hole?"
307
00:22:09,929 --> 00:22:13,324
- Asshole.
- Yes, elongate the A.
308
00:22:14,082 --> 00:22:15,403
There we go.
309
00:22:15,835 --> 00:22:18,214
I'll get them. I'll get them.
310
00:22:20,557 --> 00:22:23,744
- Mama!
- No, mama is at work.
311
00:22:25,145 --> 00:22:28,009
- She'll be back later.
- Mama.
312
00:22:32,602 --> 00:22:36,093
No, that's Hummer. Hummer.
313
00:22:36,490 --> 00:22:38,258
Well done. Hummer.
314
00:22:38,358 --> 00:22:39,702
- Pull over.
- What?
315
00:22:39,802 --> 00:22:43,051
- Pull over! Listen to this voicemail.
- I can't pull over.
316
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:47,002
I thought he was saying "mama,"
317
00:22:47,102 --> 00:22:51,071
and then I realized he was pointing
at one of those absurdly oversized tanks
318
00:22:51,171 --> 00:22:55,326
driven no doubt by some idiot
with an absurdly undersized penis.
319
00:22:55,426 --> 00:22:57,703
- This is not an oversized car.
- All right.
320
00:22:58,204 --> 00:22:59,715
He knows.
321
00:23:07,188 --> 00:23:10,324
- Hey there, sexy. Where are you?
- I'm in New York.
322
00:23:10,424 --> 00:23:12,318
Honey, do I look chunky?
323
00:23:12,418 --> 00:23:14,555
Didn't mean to call you sexy.
Wrong person.
324
00:23:15,955 --> 00:23:18,482
No, I look good.
325
00:23:19,092 --> 00:23:20,635
Very funny. Is Kate there?
326
00:23:20,735 --> 00:23:23,788
She's not back yet, still banking.
Busy counting things.
327
00:23:23,888 --> 00:23:26,516
Well, tell her to call me
right, right away,
328
00:23:26,616 --> 00:23:28,944
because I have something
really big to tell her.
329
00:23:29,044 --> 00:23:32,306
No secrets in the family. Pray tell.
330
00:23:32,406 --> 00:23:34,433
I can't believe
that I'm about to tell you...
331
00:23:34,533 --> 00:23:38,733
Richard, I don't know
why this is so hard for me.
332
00:23:38,833 --> 00:23:41,807
I've been trying
to tell you now for weeks.
333
00:23:41,907 --> 00:23:45,638
- Alan's asked me to marry him.
- I'm in love with somebody else.
334
00:23:46,687 --> 00:23:48,364
You're what?
335
00:23:48,464 --> 00:23:52,110
We're getting married! Don't act
so surprised that somebody asked me.
336
00:23:52,210 --> 00:23:54,304
- Are you on the phone?
- Who is it?
337
00:23:54,404 --> 00:23:57,047
- Who are you talking to?
- Answer the question. Who is it?
338
00:23:57,147 --> 00:24:00,311
- I just did!
- Who's on the phone?
339
00:24:01,269 --> 00:24:02,663
- Hello?
- Kate! Kate!
340
00:24:02,763 --> 00:24:06,374
- I have to call you back.
- What? Hello?
341
00:24:07,075 --> 00:24:12,038
I was just, I mean... I was
really young, okay? Really young.
342
00:24:12,138 --> 00:24:15,834
Not that you're not, of course.
But I really thought that I loved you,
343
00:24:15,934 --> 00:24:18,395
but clearly I was working
through daddy issues.
344
00:24:18,495 --> 00:24:23,968
And then I got pregnant, and you
were just trying to do the right thing.
345
00:24:24,068 --> 00:24:28,867
And you've been a really good father, but
let's face it, you never really loved me.
346
00:24:28,967 --> 00:24:32,493
- But Brian does.
- Brian? Brian?
347
00:24:32,594 --> 00:24:34,579
That little idiot from the office?
348
00:24:34,679 --> 00:24:39,275
He likes to talk to me about start-ups
and acquisitions and exit strategies.
349
00:24:39,376 --> 00:24:41,944
I mean, all the stuff that you think
is so boring about me.
350
00:24:42,044 --> 00:24:43,921
It is boring. God.
351
00:24:44,021 --> 00:24:48,201
Why do you have to be so
goddamn English? Talk to me!
352
00:24:48,501 --> 00:24:53,298
You can leave me,
but I am not leaving that boy.
353
00:24:53,398 --> 00:24:55,083
Brian.
354
00:24:55,784 --> 00:24:57,540
Richard,
355
00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:00,021
why can't you just talk to me?
356
00:25:11,091 --> 00:25:13,852
Now, I know two years in the pool house
357
00:25:13,952 --> 00:25:16,830
makes me look a little a nut,
but I'll say two things.
358
00:25:16,930 --> 00:25:19,984
First, your mom and Brian
hated me being there,
359
00:25:20,084 --> 00:25:22,561
which was the most wonderful
incentive to stay.
360
00:25:22,661 --> 00:25:24,315
And secondly...
361
00:25:25,965 --> 00:25:28,394
I wanted to be close to you.
362
00:25:29,052 --> 00:25:31,197
Good morning.
363
00:25:32,506 --> 00:25:35,463
I think you're going
to want to see this.
364
00:25:35,659 --> 00:25:39,279
- Oh, let me see it.
- Is the big bad professor awake yet?
365
00:25:39,379 --> 00:25:43,425
Jake to Dad. Breaker, breaker.
You got your ears on?
366
00:25:43,525 --> 00:25:45,085
- Okay.
- Are you awake?
367
00:25:45,185 --> 00:25:49,691
- It's Jakey. Just a second.
- Get up! Are you having a sleepover?
368
00:25:50,690 --> 00:25:53,535
Hi, Jakey! Good morning.
369
00:25:53,635 --> 00:25:56,163
- Where are you?
- Can I come and play?
370
00:25:56,263 --> 00:25:57,923
Just a second, Jakey.
371
00:25:58,023 --> 00:26:00,325
- Hey.
- Hi!
372
00:26:00,425 --> 00:26:03,649
Would you mind just skedaddling for now?
It's my son.
373
00:26:03,749 --> 00:26:06,974
Your son? I love kids! I babysit!
374
00:26:07,074 --> 00:26:09,410
- Sorry about this. The perils of parenthood.
- It's okay.
375
00:26:09,510 --> 00:26:11,231
- Come and see me during the week.
- When?
376
00:26:11,331 --> 00:26:14,157
- Make it a surprise.
- Oh, I love surprises! Okay, I will.
377
00:26:14,257 --> 00:26:16,505
Okay, good-bye.
378
00:26:16,605 --> 00:26:19,043
- Who was that?
- Oh, just a friend of mine.
379
00:26:19,143 --> 00:26:22,167
Very busy lady. She had to leave.
There you go.
380
00:26:23,291 --> 00:26:25,032
Aren't these uncomfortable?
381
00:26:25,132 --> 00:26:28,505
That's why girls love it when you
take them off. Let's get some pancakes.
382
00:26:28,605 --> 00:26:30,256
Dad, get on with it.
383
00:26:30,824 --> 00:26:33,538
So there we were.
384
00:26:34,778 --> 00:26:36,544
And then...
385
00:26:36,844 --> 00:26:38,479
last week...
386
00:26:38,579 --> 00:26:41,043
everything went pear-shaped.
387
00:26:41,143 --> 00:26:43,505
I have the papers you asked for.
388
00:26:44,922 --> 00:26:49,053
- Will that be all, professor?
- For now, yes, thanks.
389
00:26:51,971 --> 00:26:53,691
Great.
390
00:26:54,448 --> 00:26:56,185
Excuse me.
391
00:26:57,351 --> 00:26:59,429
Newest member of the TA
of the month club?
392
00:26:59,529 --> 00:27:01,728
How dare you insinuate such a thing?
393
00:27:01,828 --> 00:27:05,337
- You have a visitor. Be nice.
- Send them in.
394
00:27:06,286 --> 00:27:07,680
Thank you.
395
00:27:11,491 --> 00:27:14,903
- Professor Pickard, what a delight!
- How's your father these days?
396
00:27:15,003 --> 00:27:18,514
- Loving life. He is happy as a clam.
- That's good to hear.
397
00:27:18,614 --> 00:27:21,927
Well, I received your application
for the position at the University.
398
00:27:22,027 --> 00:27:25,856
I was in the area, so I thought I would
just pop by and invite you to a soir�e
399
00:27:25,956 --> 00:27:27,791
- I'm giving tomorrow.
- Splendid.
400
00:27:27,891 --> 00:27:29,776
The faculty will be there, of course.
401
00:27:29,876 --> 00:27:33,489
I thought it might be a good idea if you do
come by and just sort of butter them up.
402
00:27:33,589 --> 00:27:36,772
Not me, by the way.
I consider myself lavishly buttered.
403
00:27:36,872 --> 00:27:38,502
Oh, well, that's good to know.
404
00:27:38,602 --> 00:27:41,488
- So we'll see you there.
- Wouldn't miss it for the world.
405
00:27:42,990 --> 00:27:45,301
"Dustin Kalarney"
just sold its 5 millionth copy.
406
00:27:45,401 --> 00:27:47,754
- You're unbelievable.
- What?
407
00:27:47,854 --> 00:27:52,609
Here I am, splayed out like an open-faced
sandwich so we can have a baby,
408
00:27:52,709 --> 00:27:55,603
- and all you care about...
- Mr. Sloan.
409
00:27:56,070 --> 00:27:58,456
Would you mind signing a copy
of your book for me?
410
00:27:58,556 --> 00:28:02,527
- Of course. Did you like it?
- Are you kidding? It was great.
411
00:28:02,627 --> 00:28:05,828
Really? Is that Desiree two Es or one E?
412
00:28:07,446 --> 00:28:09,401
What the hell was that for?
413
00:28:09,501 --> 00:28:12,589
Oops, it slipped.
Can I have my phone back, please?
414
00:28:14,197 --> 00:28:16,558
There you go, you can do it.
Just concentrate.
415
00:28:16,659 --> 00:28:20,696
- Nice big swing. That's it.
- Dad, I suck.
416
00:28:20,796 --> 00:28:23,816
No, you don't, you don't.
You look great, just eye on the ball.
417
00:28:23,916 --> 00:28:27,654
Who's here! Jakey, what up, dawg?
Yo, give me some love.
418
00:28:27,754 --> 00:28:29,305
Blow it up. Blow it up.
419
00:28:29,405 --> 00:28:31,525
- Jellyfish sting!
- Jellyfish sting!
420
00:28:31,625 --> 00:28:34,043
Lots of love. We were just
playing a little ball here.
421
00:28:34,143 --> 00:28:36,437
- Right. Sorry, sorry.
- That's all right. Okay.
422
00:28:37,384 --> 00:28:40,108
What are you doing? You're a righty.
You got to switch your hands around.
423
00:28:40,208 --> 00:28:43,853
- Come around there. Bat up!
- Eye on the ball. Hit it to Dad!
424
00:28:44,578 --> 00:28:47,791
Sorry, Dad! Are you okay? Are you okay?
425
00:28:47,891 --> 00:28:51,736
I'm okay, son. I'm all right.
Just... occupational hazard.
426
00:28:51,836 --> 00:28:55,357
- That looks pretty bad.
- No, this. It's okay.
427
00:28:55,457 --> 00:28:57,301
Jakey!
428
00:28:57,551 --> 00:28:58,868
- Hey.
- Hey.
429
00:28:58,968 --> 00:29:02,643
- Did you remember Atlanta?
- Yeah. No? Atlanta?
430
00:29:02,743 --> 00:29:05,417
- Brian and I, four days, conference.
- Got it.
431
00:29:05,517 --> 00:29:08,413
- We leave the day after tomorrow.
- Good. Sounds good. I'll be there.
432
00:29:08,513 --> 00:29:10,130
- No, you'll be here.
- I'll be here.
433
00:29:10,230 --> 00:29:12,162
- Yeah. Here's Jakey's schedule.
- Great.
434
00:29:12,262 --> 00:29:14,559
I left a copy in your room
and another one on the fridge.
435
00:29:14,660 --> 00:29:17,107
- All right. That's good.
- So, yeah.
436
00:29:17,207 --> 00:29:19,166
I'm on it. Jawohl!
437
00:29:20,374 --> 00:29:22,119
Okay.
438
00:29:23,252 --> 00:29:25,404
No, I understand,
439
00:29:25,504 --> 00:29:29,954
but I strongly believe that three slaves
is enough. It's enough. Come on.
440
00:29:39,269 --> 00:29:41,156
You!
441
00:29:46,076 --> 00:29:47,896
Dr. Collins!
442
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:53,327
Son of a bitch!
443
00:29:57,987 --> 00:29:59,908
Yeah!
444
00:30:00,849 --> 00:30:02,636
Jesus.
445
00:30:04,169 --> 00:30:05,938
Come in.
446
00:30:06,338 --> 00:30:09,124
- Shouldn't you be at work?
- Yeah, covering the Asian markets.
447
00:30:09,725 --> 00:30:12,545
Oh, hey, by the way, I can get you
in on a pretty sweet no-load.
448
00:30:12,645 --> 00:30:15,936
These guys are killing it right now. I can
get you 15%, 18%. Just say the word.
449
00:30:16,036 --> 00:30:18,283
The word is no.
What is it you want? I'm busy.
450
00:30:18,384 --> 00:30:20,906
This letter came for you. It's about
your green card. I'm sorry.
451
00:30:21,006 --> 00:30:23,548
- I opened it before I saw who...
- Just read it, Brian, thank you.
452
00:30:23,648 --> 00:30:26,654
- I mean, you've opened it. Just read it.
- All right. "This is your final warning.
453
00:30:26,754 --> 00:30:29,387
If you and your spouse fail to attend
your interview next week,
454
00:30:29,487 --> 00:30:32,467
deportation proceedings
will be initiated."
455
00:30:35,601 --> 00:30:39,116
Blimey, mate. Looks like you could be
in a spot of bother with the Bobbies.
456
00:30:40,616 --> 00:30:43,827
Keep working on the accent, Brian.
Close the door on the way out.
457
00:30:43,927 --> 00:30:46,262
- Cheerio.
- Shut up.
458
00:30:46,363 --> 00:30:49,952
I love the dentist.
I'm not drooling, am I?
459
00:30:50,792 --> 00:30:52,861
Hello, Mr. Haig.
460
00:30:52,961 --> 00:30:55,606
You can't drink alcohol
when taking this medication.
461
00:30:55,706 --> 00:30:56,740
- Really?
- Yes.
462
00:30:56,840 --> 00:30:57,801
- No?
- No.
463
00:30:57,901 --> 00:31:00,311
Absolutely not. Wouldn't dream of it.
Thank you so much.
464
00:31:00,411 --> 00:31:01,804
- No alcohol.
- Good.
465
00:31:01,904 --> 00:31:03,731
- We'll see you soon.
- Can't wait.
466
00:31:03,831 --> 00:31:06,000
Look forward to it. Thank you so much.
467
00:31:06,100 --> 00:31:07,727
- No alcohol.
- No alcohol.
468
00:31:07,827 --> 00:31:09,748
- I mean it.
- I mean it, too.
469
00:31:16,469 --> 00:31:19,406
Okay, let's go this way.
Any time you feel like it,
470
00:31:19,506 --> 00:31:23,017
- jump in and lavish me with praise.
- Copy that.
471
00:31:23,118 --> 00:31:26,013
- So glad you could make it!
- Oh, thank you!
472
00:31:26,113 --> 00:31:27,597
- Here you are.
- Thanks. Wonderful.
473
00:31:27,797 --> 00:31:32,460
Please, help yourself to refreshments.
My wife made her famous cheese balls.
474
00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:35,347
Please be sure to try one
and compliment her accordingly.
475
00:31:35,447 --> 00:31:37,324
Will do.
476
00:31:38,926 --> 00:31:42,955
There are some very, very important
people here. I'd like you to meet them.
477
00:31:43,055 --> 00:31:46,154
And they are your kind
of people, Richard.
478
00:31:46,255 --> 00:31:48,242
Come this way.
479
00:31:51,105 --> 00:31:54,742
My dear colleagues,
this is Richard Haig.
480
00:31:54,842 --> 00:31:57,275
This is Professor Vale, Bates, Berg,
481
00:31:57,375 --> 00:31:59,074
- Ang and Professor Jones.
- Hello.
482
00:32:03,292 --> 00:32:05,539
Can we do that again?
I forgot your names already.
483
00:32:06,813 --> 00:32:10,324
It is a damn shame we didn't hire you,
what was it, three years ago?
484
00:32:10,425 --> 00:32:14,273
Three years, two months, 17 days.
But who's counting?
485
00:32:14,729 --> 00:32:16,623
- You know, I met your father once.
- Oh, yeah?
486
00:32:16,723 --> 00:32:20,433
He delivered a fascinating lecture,
a retort to Terry Hearst,
487
00:32:20,533 --> 00:32:23,830
a hermeneutical reading
of Milton's "Paradise Lost."
488
00:32:23,931 --> 00:32:26,663
- Wish I'd been there for that one.
- Where are you from in England?
489
00:32:26,763 --> 00:32:29,661
- And are you a Rich or a Dick?
- I'm a Richard.
490
00:32:29,762 --> 00:32:32,757
- Your father took a structural stance...
- You know, the missus and I,
491
00:32:32,857 --> 00:32:35,128
we love it over there,
we go every summer.
492
00:32:35,228 --> 00:32:38,429
- You do? Great.
- Cheers again, matey.
493
00:32:38,529 --> 00:32:41,657
Richard, I want to let you know
that these fervent minds here
494
00:32:41,757 --> 00:32:44,685
have taken great care looking over
your application material.
495
00:32:44,785 --> 00:32:47,680
Never trust an Englishman
who doesn't drink, Richie boy.
496
00:32:47,780 --> 00:32:50,088
- Syllabus...
- ... epistemological level.
497
00:32:50,188 --> 00:32:51,351
Academics. Yup, yup, yup.
498
00:32:51,451 --> 00:32:55,330
- I do have one small question for you.
- This one's the biggest yapper of them all.
499
00:32:55,430 --> 00:32:59,277
How are the Romantics relevant
to today's students?
500
00:33:03,438 --> 00:33:05,052
You want me to answer this question now?
501
00:33:05,152 --> 00:33:09,361
I'm sure we'd all enjoy hearing
just a taste of one of your lectures.
502
00:33:09,461 --> 00:33:11,847
- A taste.
- A mere amuse-bouche is all.
503
00:33:12,348 --> 00:33:15,709
Why not the whole meal? Why don't you
come down and see me in action?
504
00:33:15,809 --> 00:33:18,373
- I happen to be free on Thursday.
- Christ, what about that?
505
00:33:18,473 --> 00:33:20,975
I see you've already met my wife.
506
00:33:24,543 --> 00:33:28,631
I'm just going to go outside for a moment
here, and just jump in front of a bus.
507
00:33:28,731 --> 00:33:30,883
Where are you going?
You didn't even say goodbye!
508
00:33:30,983 --> 00:33:32,870
That's true.
509
00:33:33,836 --> 00:33:35,630
Bye!
510
00:33:36,030 --> 00:33:38,136
I wonder if he was flirting with me.
511
00:33:38,749 --> 00:33:40,700
Oh, my God.
512
00:33:45,015 --> 00:33:47,010
Oh, shit.
513
00:33:49,652 --> 00:33:51,667
Oh, bollocks.
514
00:34:12,376 --> 00:34:13,510
Shit.
515
00:34:13,610 --> 00:34:17,132
Good evening, Officer. Oh, boy.
Have I been drinking?
516
00:34:18,515 --> 00:34:21,110
I drink every night. How about you?
517
00:34:21,811 --> 00:34:24,402
Can't we all just get along?
518
00:34:36,776 --> 00:34:38,490
Thanks.
519
00:34:41,781 --> 00:34:44,242
Thanks again for bailing me out.
520
00:34:44,342 --> 00:34:47,616
- And for the silent treatment.
- Don't talk to me.
521
00:34:54,962 --> 00:34:56,650
I still can't believe it.
522
00:34:56,750 --> 00:34:59,361
- Can't believe what?
- I wasn't talking to you.
523
00:34:59,462 --> 00:35:03,932
And I wasn't talking to you,
my darling little fornicating ex-wife.
524
00:35:04,032 --> 00:35:06,098
- Shut up, Richard.
- Alan dumped me.
525
00:35:06,199 --> 00:35:10,124
What a small world.
My wife did exactly the same thing.
526
00:35:10,224 --> 00:35:12,400
She used to adore me.
527
00:35:13,022 --> 00:35:15,258
Where, oh, where did the love go?
528
00:35:15,358 --> 00:35:17,543
She turned 30 and wised up.
529
00:35:17,844 --> 00:35:21,162
So, what's going on?
Why are you here, Olivia?
530
00:35:21,262 --> 00:35:23,792
- Thank you so much for helping out.
- It's the least I can do.
531
00:35:23,892 --> 00:35:26,298
- Helping out? Helping out with what?
- I needed to know
532
00:35:26,398 --> 00:35:30,115
that Jake was going to be looked after,
fed, and driven by a responsible person
533
00:35:30,215 --> 00:35:32,984
- with a valid driver's license.
- Fine. Why her?
534
00:35:33,084 --> 00:35:36,280
Livvy offered to come
at a very difficult time for her
535
00:35:36,380 --> 00:35:39,437
to bail us out of the mess
that you put us in.
536
00:35:39,537 --> 00:35:41,112
You know what?
537
00:35:41,212 --> 00:35:45,818
- I've had enough of this.
- You know, you say "I" a lot.
538
00:35:45,918 --> 00:35:50,736
Really? Well, I know that Jake
loves having you around.
539
00:35:50,836 --> 00:35:53,973
But I'm getting phone calls
from your immigration attorney
540
00:35:54,073 --> 00:35:56,567
because you don't ever bother
to call him back.
541
00:35:56,667 --> 00:36:00,855
I can't be in your life anymore.
I'm enabling your degenerate behavior.
542
00:36:00,955 --> 00:36:04,016
And what is the point
of all this right now?
543
00:36:04,117 --> 00:36:07,733
Richard, if you want me to pretend
like we're happily married
544
00:36:07,833 --> 00:36:11,786
so you can stay in this country,
you better get it together.
545
00:36:25,631 --> 00:36:27,815
- Yeah?
- Gotcha.
546
00:36:27,915 --> 00:36:30,736
- I woke you up, didn't I?
- Dad, is that you?
547
00:36:30,836 --> 00:36:34,991
You know, there are no time zones
in China. Did you know that?
548
00:36:35,091 --> 00:36:37,881
The whole bloody country
is on Peking time,
549
00:36:37,994 --> 00:36:40,677
and that's the way it should be.
550
00:36:40,778 --> 00:36:44,408
- We should all be on Peking time.
- Don't be a dumb prat.
551
00:36:44,508 --> 00:36:47,837
The whole world
should be on London time.
552
00:36:47,937 --> 00:36:50,461
Okay. What do you want, Dad?
553
00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:55,495
- How's the little turd?
- Don't call him that.
554
00:36:55,595 --> 00:36:59,169
Come on,
you're far too bloody sensitive.
555
00:36:59,269 --> 00:37:02,218
All right, great to hear from you, Dad.
556
00:37:02,318 --> 00:37:05,405
Why don't you go badger Joan? Okay?
557
00:37:05,505 --> 00:37:07,095
She's not here.
558
00:37:07,195 --> 00:37:11,248
Shit. Okay. I've got to go. Goodbye.
559
00:37:28,270 --> 00:37:30,368
Richard Haig?
560
00:37:31,415 --> 00:37:32,503
Thank you.
561
00:37:40,883 --> 00:37:43,244
So, your interview is Monday.
562
00:37:43,344 --> 00:37:46,413
This is the fourth quarter now, two minute
warning, you got no timeouts left.
563
00:37:46,514 --> 00:37:47,985
What the hell are you talking about?
564
00:37:48,085 --> 00:37:53,045
If your ex-wife won't show up to your
interview, it's going to be Hail Mary time.
565
00:37:53,145 --> 00:37:54,843
Okay?
566
00:37:56,065 --> 00:37:59,511
- So, did you get a full-time job?
- Doing my best.
567
00:37:59,611 --> 00:38:02,080
Have you recently joined
any terrorist organizations?
568
00:38:02,180 --> 00:38:05,571
Applied all over. Fingers crossed.
569
00:38:08,453 --> 00:38:10,735
Have you ever been arrested?
570
00:38:13,383 --> 00:38:16,404
- DUl.
- When? How many years ago?
571
00:38:16,504 --> 00:38:19,962
Friday? I mean, they can't kick me
out of the country for that, can they?
572
00:38:20,062 --> 00:38:23,035
- Jakey's a US citizen.
- You see the people in my waiting room?
573
00:38:23,135 --> 00:38:25,927
The kid born here, the parents, illegal.
574
00:38:26,027 --> 00:38:28,641
They're deporting the parents!
575
00:38:28,942 --> 00:38:32,012
Oh, yeah, it's game seven,
win or go home time.
576
00:38:32,645 --> 00:38:36,342
All right, well, if you join
a recovery program now...
577
00:38:36,649 --> 00:38:37,992
What, recovery?
578
00:38:38,092 --> 00:38:41,370
You do the 10 mandated sessions
the court's going to give you for the DUl.
579
00:38:41,470 --> 00:38:44,192
- 10? That's going to take me weeks!
- Hell week, baby. Two-a-days.
580
00:38:44,292 --> 00:38:46,793
You get your ex-wife to your interview
and you get a great job.
581
00:38:46,893 --> 00:38:50,103
You do all that, and you get
the ring, baby, okay?
582
00:38:50,664 --> 00:38:53,071
Yes, of course.
583
00:39:12,597 --> 00:39:15,065
Hijos de puta.
584
00:39:39,990 --> 00:39:42,029
Everything all right?
585
00:39:44,961 --> 00:39:47,072
Yeah. Why?
586
00:39:47,173 --> 00:39:49,396
Want to borrow my car?
587
00:39:49,496 --> 00:39:52,251
Okay, if you're not using it.
588
00:40:06,267 --> 00:40:09,162
That's good, that's good,
that's good. It's okay!
589
00:40:16,336 --> 00:40:18,663
- Wait, wait, wait.
- What?
590
00:40:18,763 --> 00:40:21,277
Did Kate tell you about
the one-way system at pick up?
591
00:40:23,101 --> 00:40:25,689
No, I didn't think so. It's okay.
592
00:40:26,412 --> 00:40:30,338
- All right, toots. Step on it.
- Oh, boy.
593
00:40:31,359 --> 00:40:36,014
Stop sign. Stop sign. Stop sign.
Car, car! Jesus.
594
00:40:36,114 --> 00:40:38,692
Where the hell did you learn
how to drive?
595
00:40:38,792 --> 00:40:40,506
Mexico.
596
00:40:41,061 --> 00:40:44,598
Oh, can you please get that?
Where is my phone? Where's my phone?
597
00:40:44,698 --> 00:40:47,932
- I'm waiting for a very important call.
- Here you go. Sorry, it's down here.
598
00:40:49,753 --> 00:40:50,766
Hello?
599
00:40:50,866 --> 00:40:54,200
Olivia? I have Tim Prince
from Creative Management Lit for you.
600
00:40:54,300 --> 00:40:56,937
- Okay.
- Can't he dial the phone by himself?
601
00:40:57,037 --> 00:40:58,918
- Hey, babes!
- Hi!
602
00:40:59,018 --> 00:41:03,785
- Listen, so sorry about Alan. Awful!
- Thanks, Tim. Thank you.
603
00:41:03,885 --> 00:41:06,685
I caught my ex-wife in downward dog
with my tantra teacher
604
00:41:06,785 --> 00:41:09,448
coming out of her central eye.
You feel so...
605
00:41:09,548 --> 00:41:11,989
- Angry.
- Who the hell is this guy?
606
00:41:12,089 --> 00:41:13,485
Okay, listen, babes,
607
00:41:13,585 --> 00:41:16,919
if anyone can go from editor to author,
it's you, and I mean that.
608
00:41:17,020 --> 00:41:19,935
And I got your sample chapter.
Give me a day or two to look it over.
609
00:41:20,035 --> 00:41:22,270
- Of course.
- I'll be gentle. I promise.
610
00:41:22,370 --> 00:41:25,594
- Who says I like it gentle?
- That's my girl. Okay, got to jump.
611
00:41:25,695 --> 00:41:28,214
- Bye, babes.
- Bye!
612
00:41:29,745 --> 00:41:33,604
- Fascinating exchange.
- How can men move on so quickly?
613
00:41:33,704 --> 00:41:36,129
- What?
- It's like a switch for you, isn't it?
614
00:41:36,229 --> 00:41:38,203
You flip it off,
then you turn to the next one.
615
00:41:38,304 --> 00:41:41,499
You flip that one on, and when you
get tired of that, you just flip another.
616
00:41:41,599 --> 00:41:45,453
Like a pilot on a cockpit.
Flip, flip, flip, flip, flip, flip, flip.
617
00:41:45,553 --> 00:41:47,922
What the hell are you talking about?
618
00:41:48,022 --> 00:41:50,466
Wishful thinking, Richard.
I wish I was like...
619
00:41:50,566 --> 00:41:53,887
Eyes on the road, eyes on the road!
Do not enter! Wrong way! Wrong way!
620
00:41:53,987 --> 00:41:56,956
- Oh, relax. Relax.
- I am, I am very relaxed.
621
00:41:57,056 --> 00:41:59,397
You're like an old lady!
622
00:42:00,134 --> 00:42:04,147
You men, you'd rather just go out there
623
00:42:04,247 --> 00:42:07,959
and have sex than work things out.
624
00:42:08,059 --> 00:42:09,769
Yeah. Guilty as charged.
625
00:42:09,869 --> 00:42:14,809
But your horniness is nothing
but a big mask for you to hide behind.
626
00:42:14,909 --> 00:42:18,278
- Now, what's wrong with a big mask?
- Let me ask you something.
627
00:42:18,378 --> 00:42:22,632
How can you teach the Romantics
when you can't even have a real feeling?
628
00:42:22,733 --> 00:42:24,518
Is irritation a real feeling?
629
00:42:24,619 --> 00:42:28,431
I mean, listening to you flirt on the phone
with some guy who's calling you babes,
630
00:42:28,532 --> 00:42:31,116
- oohing and ahhing. No...
- Please. I wasn't oohing and ahhing.
631
00:42:31,216 --> 00:42:35,713
I like it gentle. Good Lord, anyone
would think you were having an orgasm.
632
00:42:35,813 --> 00:42:38,199
I do not sound like that when I...
633
00:42:38,299 --> 00:42:43,196
Anyway, you should hear some of the stupid
noises you guys make when you're...
634
00:42:43,696 --> 00:42:47,742
You can't even say the word, can you?
Come on. What do we sound like?
635
00:42:48,243 --> 00:42:50,687
For example, you have the bear.
636
00:42:57,152 --> 00:42:58,161
I can see your tonsils.
637
00:42:58,261 --> 00:43:00,430
- Then you have the sports commentators.
- Oh, yeah?
638
00:43:00,530 --> 00:43:05,594
Baja la pelota, recibe con el pecho,
mete mano en el �rea chica. Gol!
639
00:43:06,745 --> 00:43:10,878
- What kind of men have you been with?
- And then there's the quiet ones.
640
00:43:15,271 --> 00:43:16,580
- Are you finished?
- No.
641
00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:20,058
- Of course not.
- And the worst one is the Tourette's one.
642
00:43:20,158 --> 00:43:22,712
- What?
- You know, "Shit, fuck.
643
00:43:22,812 --> 00:43:26,641
I love you, fuck me, oh,
motherfucker bitch, I love you.
644
00:43:26,741 --> 00:43:29,544
Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me."
645
00:43:29,644 --> 00:43:31,768
Hey, that sounds like you, Dad.
646
00:43:33,565 --> 00:43:35,692
I heard him once on the walkie-talkie.
647
00:43:35,792 --> 00:43:38,303
Mr. Haig, do you have a minute?
648
00:43:38,403 --> 00:43:42,512
Of course I do.
Come on, toots. This way.
649
00:43:42,612 --> 00:43:46,436
This morning, Jake said
he had a question about the rules.
650
00:43:46,536 --> 00:43:50,607
He asked if he was allowed to use
the special alphabet.
651
00:43:50,707 --> 00:43:53,014
- Oh, boy.
- I didn't know what that was.
652
00:43:53,114 --> 00:43:57,456
So he asked if he was allowed
to say the "A" word.
653
00:43:57,756 --> 00:44:01,101
Then he asked,
"Can I say bugger, crap, dummy?"
654
00:44:01,202 --> 00:44:04,063
And when he got to F, he said,
"Am I allowed to say 'frick,'
655
00:44:04,163 --> 00:44:06,553
because I know I'm not allowed
to say 'fuck. '"
656
00:44:07,524 --> 00:44:10,548
It was at that point that I sent him
to the principal's office.
657
00:44:15,382 --> 00:44:19,278
- And what did you say for G?
- Goddamn.
658
00:44:19,378 --> 00:44:20,865
Mr. Haig,
659
00:44:20,965 --> 00:44:26,166
how is Jake adjusting to your new...
living situation?
660
00:44:27,537 --> 00:44:31,466
No, no, this is not what it looks like,
or what it sounds like. No, no, no.
661
00:44:31,566 --> 00:44:35,095
- We don't need to have an explanation.
- I think there's been a misunderstanding.
662
00:44:35,195 --> 00:44:37,935
- I would never...
- You've said enough.
663
00:44:44,262 --> 00:44:46,408
Oh, wonderful.
664
00:44:46,508 --> 00:44:49,222
I'll walk to the curb. Mind your hands.
665
00:44:49,322 --> 00:44:52,449
- What are you doing here?
- What am I doing here?
666
00:44:52,549 --> 00:44:56,058
I'm just going to get
some delicious Potatoes Latinos.
667
00:44:57,144 --> 00:45:00,158
Yeah, and maybe a manicure.
668
00:45:00,446 --> 00:45:02,471
Or a bikini wax.
669
00:45:02,571 --> 00:45:05,284
Bye. I'll see you later. You take care.
670
00:45:05,384 --> 00:45:08,208
- Whatever.
- Bye.
671
00:45:11,766 --> 00:45:15,887
We have two new members today.
We have Cindy and Richard.
672
00:45:15,987 --> 00:45:17,476
So, Cindy, do you want to...
673
00:45:20,341 --> 00:45:22,519
Hi, I'm Cindy.
674
00:45:22,819 --> 00:45:25,559
And I'm an alcoholic.
675
00:45:28,208 --> 00:45:31,186
Thank you, Cindy. Richard?
676
00:45:31,436 --> 00:45:36,691
Hi, I am Richard,
and I'm not an alcoholic.
677
00:45:36,792 --> 00:45:41,471
I'm English, a country with...
a few thousand years of history,
678
00:45:41,571 --> 00:45:44,500
and part of that history
is the communal practice
679
00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:46,677
of having a drink in the pub.
680
00:45:46,777 --> 00:45:51,090
Now, I know it's not your fault
a few sad, sorry pilgrims arrived here
681
00:45:51,190 --> 00:45:56,011
and infected your country with the message
of puritanical masochism.
682
00:45:56,112 --> 00:46:00,841
But it is your fault you've all taken it
on board quite so earnestly.
683
00:46:00,942 --> 00:46:04,930
So... you chaps go ahead.
684
00:46:05,230 --> 00:46:07,248
Knock yourselves out.
685
00:46:07,348 --> 00:46:10,702
But just know this. The first thing
I intend to do when this hour is up:
686
00:46:11,102 --> 00:46:14,054
is hit that bar across the street
and have a nice cold one.
687
00:46:14,873 --> 00:46:17,747
- Good luck with that.
- Thank you, Chad.
688
00:46:25,926 --> 00:46:28,545
How are the Romantics relevant to you?
689
00:46:29,146 --> 00:46:32,224
You know, the only reason I'm taking
this class is so I can get my GPA up
690
00:46:32,324 --> 00:46:35,891
so I can play baseball
at Arizona State, so...
691
00:46:37,614 --> 00:46:39,401
How about you, Stacy?
692
00:46:39,501 --> 00:46:41,813
How are the Romantics relevant to you?
693
00:46:42,426 --> 00:46:43,840
They're not.
694
00:46:49,392 --> 00:46:51,435
You have been such a wonderful audience.
695
00:46:51,535 --> 00:46:53,251
I can't wait to see you all next week,
696
00:46:53,351 --> 00:46:57,254
when I shall be lecturing naked,
wearing a sombrero.
697
00:46:57,354 --> 00:46:59,740
It'll be so wonderful.
698
00:47:02,589 --> 00:47:04,395
Fuck me.
699
00:47:06,509 --> 00:47:08,152
Olivia?
700
00:47:08,252 --> 00:47:11,524
- Hey, babes! There you are!
- Oh, Tim! Hi!
701
00:47:11,624 --> 00:47:13,705
How are you, beautiful?
702
00:47:15,994 --> 00:47:17,711
Okay.
703
00:47:18,427 --> 00:47:20,515
About this.
704
00:47:21,108 --> 00:47:22,710
This rocks.
705
00:47:22,810 --> 00:47:25,178
- Really?
- It is smart, it is funny.
706
00:47:25,378 --> 00:47:27,280
- Oh, I love Jenna.
- Jane.
707
00:47:27,380 --> 00:47:30,988
You might want to change that. Sex sells.
Jane makes me think of nun in a wimple.
708
00:47:31,088 --> 00:47:32,506
God, but you are so talented.
709
00:47:32,656 --> 00:47:35,484
You're so beautiful, too.
And trust me, that helps, babe.
710
00:47:35,585 --> 00:47:38,463
I'm gonna take you to the stars.
I am gonna take you to the stars.
711
00:47:38,563 --> 00:47:41,733
All I ask is that these shoulders
be the ones you stand upon.
712
00:47:41,833 --> 00:47:43,225
Watch the silk, though?
713
00:47:48,415 --> 00:47:49,151
Hello?
714
00:47:49,251 --> 00:47:51,929
Richard, listen. They've assigned
your case for investigation.
715
00:47:52,030 --> 00:47:53,761
Really? What does that mean?
716
00:47:53,861 --> 00:47:56,148
You're under surveillance
by an undercover federal agent.
717
00:47:56,248 --> 00:47:57,898
- Jesus! Fuck!
- Yes.
718
00:47:57,998 --> 00:47:59,410
Sorry. Sorry.
719
00:48:00,878 --> 00:48:03,989
Shit. He's here tonight.
He just flashed his badge.
720
00:48:04,089 --> 00:48:05,616
Don't fumble the ball, now!
721
00:48:05,716 --> 00:48:08,894
All that matters is that you exhibit
good moral character, okay?
722
00:48:08,994 --> 00:48:11,310
Okay, everybody, grab a seat.
723
00:48:11,410 --> 00:48:15,268
Okay, so, Chad, I believe
you wanted to start us off?
724
00:48:15,668 --> 00:48:18,538
I'm Chad, and I am 13 days sober.
725
00:48:18,638 --> 00:48:22,035
- Yeah! Way to go, Chad!
- All right, Chad!
726
00:48:22,550 --> 00:48:27,013
All right, so why don't you tell us
how that feels?
727
00:48:27,113 --> 00:48:29,974
Well, you know,
it started by not going...
728
00:48:30,074 --> 00:48:33,920
Wendy? Excuse me, Wendy,
just a moment there, please.
729
00:48:34,020 --> 00:48:35,839
Sorry, everyone. Can I say something?
730
00:48:35,939 --> 00:48:38,833
Sorry, Chad, I didn't mean to interrupt
your moment of glory there.
731
00:48:39,734 --> 00:48:41,317
My name is Richard,
732
00:48:41,433 --> 00:48:46,366
and I'd like to amend my earlier comments
about the drinking habits of the English.
733
00:48:46,866 --> 00:48:50,700
I mean, just because the entire country
hits the pub after work doesn't mean
734
00:48:50,800 --> 00:48:54,041
we can't all be alcoholics,
because we are.
735
00:48:54,141 --> 00:48:57,895
We are inebriates, national disgrace.
736
00:48:57,995 --> 00:49:01,546
What else? I'm married, very happily so.
737
00:49:01,646 --> 00:49:04,419
Oh, and I have a son.
A beautiful little son called Jakey.
738
00:49:04,519 --> 00:49:09,707
Born here, in this country, a country which
I love and has such meaning to my heart.
739
00:49:09,807 --> 00:49:11,423
So, Richard...
740
00:49:11,873 --> 00:49:14,313
with all of that to lose,
741
00:49:14,413 --> 00:49:19,320
why would you get drunk
and then get behind the wheel of a car?
742
00:49:23,329 --> 00:49:27,927
Yep. Well, there you have it.
I'm an alcoholic.
743
00:49:28,451 --> 00:49:31,108
I'm Richard, alcoholic.
744
00:49:37,828 --> 00:49:42,824
Yeah? Jakey? Jake, no, no, no.
No, Jakey, just tell him...
745
00:49:42,924 --> 00:49:44,561
Just tell him...
746
00:49:44,661 --> 00:49:46,745
Tell him just to calm down.
747
00:49:46,845 --> 00:49:49,307
Okay, no more cellphones.
748
00:49:51,042 --> 00:49:53,135
I'm here, I'm here. It's okay.
749
00:49:53,235 --> 00:49:57,168
- Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
- It's all right. Don't worry. Don't worry.
750
00:49:57,268 --> 00:50:02,824
I know. I know. Come on, Jakey, calm down.
Calm down. Just breathe. There you go.
751
00:50:03,538 --> 00:50:06,231
Breathe, breathe, relax.
752
00:50:06,331 --> 00:50:09,569
- Use your words.
- I... I had a bad dream.
753
00:50:09,669 --> 00:50:11,275
- Okay.
- Then I woke up...
754
00:50:11,375 --> 00:50:15,062
and Mommy wasn't here,
and you were gone and...
755
00:50:15,683 --> 00:50:18,208
I'm really sorry. Okay.
756
00:50:18,686 --> 00:50:21,214
Hey, you know what we're gonna do?
757
00:50:21,314 --> 00:50:24,822
We're gonna blow
that bad dream away, okay?
758
00:50:35,128 --> 00:50:37,360
Here, let me catch it.
759
00:50:43,254 --> 00:50:47,200
Okay. Give us a hug.
All right, where's Teddy?
760
00:50:48,232 --> 00:50:50,035
There he is!
761
00:50:53,164 --> 00:50:56,389
All right, let's go to sleep.
Come on, say good night.
762
00:50:56,490 --> 00:50:57,559
Good night.
763
00:51:09,556 --> 00:51:13,936
There you go, my little warrior poet.
Go to sleep.
764
00:51:14,036 --> 00:51:19,862
Dad, you and Mom are never going
to live together, are you?
765
00:51:21,168 --> 00:51:23,929
No, I'm sorry.
766
00:51:24,029 --> 00:51:27,199
But if you're ever upset about anything,
767
00:51:27,299 --> 00:51:31,915
anything at all, you go talk
to your mum or talk to me.
768
00:51:32,015 --> 00:51:34,340
Or Brian?
769
00:51:34,890 --> 00:51:37,730
Only if I'm stuck down a mine
and your mom's in a coma.
770
00:51:45,018 --> 00:51:48,054
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
771
00:51:48,154 --> 00:51:49,590
I...
772
00:51:49,690 --> 00:51:53,068
- I was completely useless.
- No, It's okay.
773
00:51:53,168 --> 00:51:55,887
I can't even take care
of my little sister's child.
774
00:51:55,987 --> 00:51:58,965
I mean, how hard can that be, right?
775
00:51:59,065 --> 00:52:03,262
Have you ever felt like everybody else
has gotten their shit together but you?
776
00:52:03,362 --> 00:52:07,577
I mean, my little sister has.
Even you have.
777
00:52:07,677 --> 00:52:10,594
Well, I wouldn't go that far.
778
00:52:10,694 --> 00:52:14,161
Look, it's just a lot different
when it's your own kid.
779
00:52:15,057 --> 00:52:18,439
Well, I wouldn't know about that either.
780
00:52:18,640 --> 00:52:20,988
Listen, I made some soup.
781
00:52:21,088 --> 00:52:25,210
- Would you like some? It's horrible.
- Sure. I love horrible soup.
782
00:52:31,441 --> 00:52:34,390
It's horrible. I can't even make a soup.
783
00:52:34,490 --> 00:52:35,856
Oh, boy.
784
00:52:38,039 --> 00:52:42,227
- You know, you're a really good father.
- Yeah. Sure I am.
785
00:52:42,327 --> 00:52:46,056
Richard, I'm giving you a compliment.
Just say thank you.
786
00:52:46,482 --> 00:52:48,020
Thank you, Olivia.
787
00:52:50,051 --> 00:52:52,582
I like it when you say my name.
788
00:52:53,614 --> 00:52:55,614
It's funny.
789
00:52:55,924 --> 00:53:00,116
Most women adore me to begin with,
and then end up hating me.
790
00:53:01,147 --> 00:53:04,825
You, on the other hand, hated me right off
the bat, but now I think you despise me.
791
00:53:04,926 --> 00:53:08,562
No, I despised you at the beginning.
792
00:53:08,662 --> 00:53:13,634
Now, I just loathe you
a little sometimes.
793
00:53:16,863 --> 00:53:18,677
Well.
794
00:53:42,723 --> 00:53:45,943
I've been staying inside
795
00:53:46,574 --> 00:53:49,760
Watching from the outside
796
00:53:50,260 --> 00:53:53,783
My God, it's been a long time
797
00:53:54,160 --> 00:53:56,743
For sure
798
00:53:57,821 --> 00:54:01,298
I've been reaching for my west side
799
00:54:01,675 --> 00:54:05,221
'Cause it used to be my best side
800
00:54:05,321 --> 00:54:08,518
Now it's a part of me I can't find
801
00:54:09,826 --> 00:54:11,449
Anymore
802
00:54:13,705 --> 00:54:16,150
I wanna fly...
803
00:54:17,975 --> 00:54:22,605
I packed your toothbrush, your pajamas,
804
00:54:22,705 --> 00:54:24,274
and...
805
00:54:24,724 --> 00:54:27,185
Hey, guys, what's happening?
806
00:54:27,285 --> 00:54:28,895
- Where you going?
- My sleepover!
807
00:54:28,996 --> 00:54:31,464
Oh, yeah! The sleepover,
of course. All right.
808
00:54:31,564 --> 00:54:35,477
Well, give me a kiss and have
a good night. There you go, soldier.
809
00:54:35,577 --> 00:54:37,220
- Cool!
- Have fun, Jakey!
810
00:54:37,320 --> 00:54:39,865
- Let's go.
- Good night.
811
00:54:39,965 --> 00:54:42,246
Enjoy your night off.
812
00:55:19,373 --> 00:55:21,044
Hello?
813
00:55:23,543 --> 00:55:27,376
Oh, there he is! What's up, Rich?
814
00:55:27,823 --> 00:55:29,662
Hi, Richard!
815
00:55:31,927 --> 00:55:34,188
Yeah, great, well done.
816
00:55:34,388 --> 00:55:37,979
Leaving now. Yeah, good.
Sorry about that.
817
00:55:40,811 --> 00:55:41,987
Yeah.
818
00:55:43,539 --> 00:55:45,648
He's a little weird.
819
00:55:47,092 --> 00:55:50,305
- Bye!
- Hey, I'll be back for more?
820
00:55:50,405 --> 00:55:52,469
Bye, babes!
821
00:55:53,283 --> 00:55:55,106
Had to leave early, did he?
822
00:55:55,919 --> 00:55:59,357
Well, he did stay
until he got the job done.
823
00:55:59,457 --> 00:56:02,926
- That was good of him.
- Yeah, he's gonna come back tomorrow
824
00:56:03,026 --> 00:56:05,687
and bring a friend
so we can all do it together.
825
00:56:05,787 --> 00:56:08,255
- The more the merrier.
- For Christ's sake.
826
00:56:08,355 --> 00:56:11,673
We were working,
and then he went surfing, you idiot.
827
00:56:11,773 --> 00:56:15,390
Now where is that bottle of wine?
I could use a drink.
828
00:56:17,558 --> 00:56:19,614
Come on up.
829
00:56:29,611 --> 00:56:30,876
There you go.
830
00:56:32,264 --> 00:56:36,047
- Apology accepted.
- Oh, good.
831
00:56:36,285 --> 00:56:39,518
- To friends.
- To friends.
832
00:56:44,986 --> 00:56:47,364
A bit old for homework, aren't you?
833
00:56:47,464 --> 00:56:52,206
Well, it's never too late to perfect
new ways of boring one's students.
834
00:56:54,387 --> 00:56:58,583
So... must be very excited
to have Tim all over you.
835
00:56:58,684 --> 00:57:01,499
So to speak. About your book.
836
00:57:02,963 --> 00:57:04,728
Well...
837
00:57:05,498 --> 00:57:08,429
tonight he tore me to pieces.
838
00:57:08,729 --> 00:57:10,813
It's hard to be judged by others.
839
00:57:10,913 --> 00:57:15,024
It's very difficult...
to stay true to your own voice
840
00:57:15,124 --> 00:57:18,658
when everybody else
wants you to do something else.
841
00:57:20,231 --> 00:57:22,166
It made me think of Alan.
842
00:57:22,666 --> 00:57:25,854
All the notes that I gave him
through the years.
843
00:57:25,954 --> 00:57:28,306
It must have tortured him.
844
00:57:28,406 --> 00:57:30,704
So it's not all bad, then.
845
00:57:32,385 --> 00:57:36,047
I'll be honest, I always thought
he was an arrogant little shit
846
00:57:36,147 --> 00:57:38,846
whose books were vapid and hackneyed.
847
00:57:40,001 --> 00:57:43,108
And all I could ever think about
when I skim-read them...
848
00:57:44,745 --> 00:57:47,609
- was you.
- Me?
849
00:57:48,131 --> 00:57:49,509
You.
850
00:57:50,264 --> 00:57:51,855
Yes.
851
00:57:51,955 --> 00:57:53,290
And what could have been worse?
852
00:57:53,390 --> 00:57:58,449
Being married to him
or editing his schmaltzy drivel?
853
00:58:00,539 --> 00:58:03,254
They both sucked.
854
00:58:05,294 --> 00:58:07,742
Do you know who he's screwing?
855
00:58:08,297 --> 00:58:11,046
My gynecologist.
856
00:58:11,146 --> 00:58:13,661
My gynecologist!
857
00:58:13,761 --> 00:58:15,200
I mean,
858
00:58:15,300 --> 00:58:18,925
I actually thought that he was coming
to our appointments because he cared,
859
00:58:19,025 --> 00:58:21,235
but no, he wanted to see the doctor.
860
00:58:21,335 --> 00:58:24,030
Maybe you're better off without him.
861
00:58:24,130 --> 00:58:26,199
Think about it.
862
00:58:26,299 --> 00:58:30,695
You're smart, you're funny,
you're beautiful, terrible driver, but...
863
00:58:31,396 --> 00:58:34,495
I'm sure you'll find someone
to overlook that.
864
00:58:34,866 --> 00:58:36,943
You're just saying that.
865
00:58:37,043 --> 00:58:40,750
Well, you are smart, you are funny,
866
00:58:40,850 --> 00:58:43,880
and you are very, very beautiful.
867
00:59:39,650 --> 00:59:41,625
- What the hell happened to my car?
- Oh, shit.
868
00:59:41,725 --> 00:59:45,690
Oh, my nuts! They said they
weren't coming back until tonight!
869
00:59:45,790 --> 00:59:49,606
- It's a good thing it's a military vehicle.
- Oh, my God!
870
00:59:50,152 --> 00:59:54,055
Okay, okay. To the house. To the house.
871
00:59:57,529 --> 01:00:01,643
- Buenos d�as, Pedro.
- Buenos d�as, se�ora.
872
01:00:05,443 --> 01:00:07,404
Get the keys, sweetie.
873
01:00:07,504 --> 01:00:10,937
Oh, you know what,
I think I left my phone in the car.
874
01:00:22,436 --> 01:00:24,472
- Hi!
- You're naked.
875
01:00:24,572 --> 01:00:28,030
If you're wondering where Jake is,
he's at a sleepover with Josh.
876
01:00:28,301 --> 01:00:31,454
- Why are you naked?
- Richard's sleeping in his house.
877
01:00:31,554 --> 01:00:34,586
- I'm just gonna go and swim.
- Unbelievable.
878
01:00:37,768 --> 01:00:40,129
Hey, how's the lecture coming?
879
01:00:40,229 --> 01:00:43,377
I've passed kidney stones
with greater ease.
880
01:00:44,133 --> 01:00:48,747
Well, don't overthink it.
Just be honest, pithy, simple.
881
01:00:49,247 --> 01:00:54,143
You know something? I think you're the first
woman I've ever really been friends with.
882
01:00:54,244 --> 01:00:56,905
Well, that's a little sad, Richard,
but very touching.
883
01:00:57,005 --> 01:01:00,446
What brought about this sudden
onset of sincerity?
884
01:01:03,070 --> 01:01:05,920
I slept with someone,
885
01:01:06,020 --> 01:01:07,637
and...
886
01:01:08,222 --> 01:01:10,577
it actually meant something.
887
01:01:10,778 --> 01:01:13,298
Well, that's great. Who?
888
01:01:13,398 --> 01:01:15,103
Olivia.
889
01:01:16,283 --> 01:01:20,560
Are you kidding? Richard, why don't you go
down to your Green Card appointment,
890
01:01:20,660 --> 01:01:23,524
take out your samurai sword,
and disembowel yourself?
891
01:01:23,624 --> 01:01:26,826
What is wrong with you?
Are you trying to get deported?
892
01:01:26,926 --> 01:01:30,248
- I mean, Kate is going to kill you!
- Kate's not going to know about it, is she?
893
01:01:30,348 --> 01:01:32,508
I mean, I'm not going to tell her,
and Olivia's not going to tell her.
894
01:01:32,608 --> 01:01:37,325
They are sisters, Richard,
close sisters, and close sisters talk.
895
01:01:41,442 --> 01:01:43,456
You better move.
896
01:01:53,697 --> 01:01:56,320
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.
897
01:02:03,771 --> 01:02:04,959
- Kate, hi.
- Hey!
898
01:02:05,059 --> 01:02:08,187
- How's everything? Good?
- Olivia told me everything.
899
01:02:08,387 --> 01:02:10,455
Oh, she did?
900
01:02:10,556 --> 01:02:13,421
I think it's awesome
that she started writing.
901
01:02:15,478 --> 01:02:17,855
And she said you were really nice
to her when I was away.
902
01:02:17,955 --> 01:02:20,308
Oh, wonderful.
903
01:02:20,808 --> 01:02:24,517
You know... I know I've been
kind of a bitch to you lately.
904
01:02:24,617 --> 01:02:25,602
Oh, that's okay.
905
01:02:25,702 --> 01:02:30,193
Threatening not to come to your green card
meeting was totally out of line. I'm sorry.
906
01:02:30,293 --> 01:02:33,371
Yeah, live and let live,
forgive and forget, all of that.
907
01:02:33,471 --> 01:02:35,899
- We're cool?
- We are so cool.
908
01:02:35,999 --> 01:02:38,526
Okay. Do you want
to get me some lemonade?
909
01:02:38,627 --> 01:02:39,847
- Good idea.
- Thanks.
910
01:02:39,947 --> 01:02:42,627
Okay. Great.
911
01:02:52,383 --> 01:02:54,364
You smoke?
912
01:02:59,140 --> 01:03:02,973
- I can't stop thinking about last night.
- Nor can I.
913
01:03:04,754 --> 01:03:06,798
- We have to tell her.
- No, no, no.
914
01:03:06,898 --> 01:03:09,106
- This is not good timing. Olivia, Olivia.
- Dad?
915
01:03:09,206 --> 01:03:11,419
That's gone to your head. Get back
in the bush. Get behind the bush.
916
01:03:11,519 --> 01:03:14,681
There's a funny old man here
that wants to see you.
917
01:03:14,781 --> 01:03:16,437
What?
918
01:03:17,392 --> 01:03:19,191
Dad, what are you doing here?
919
01:03:19,294 --> 01:03:23,581
Why in buggering hell
have you been ignoring my calls?
920
01:03:24,182 --> 01:03:27,865
Oh, hello, this must be the Yank totty!
921
01:03:27,965 --> 01:03:30,326
Kate, my father.
922
01:03:30,964 --> 01:03:33,125
Oh, my goodness, Mr. Haig!
923
01:03:33,225 --> 01:03:36,319
It's so nice to meet you!
924
01:03:36,419 --> 01:03:39,748
- Sorry, I'm soaking wet.
- I need a shower anyway.
925
01:03:39,848 --> 01:03:43,043
Oh, and who is this other vision
of loveliness?
926
01:03:43,143 --> 01:03:46,714
I'm Olivia. I'm Kate's sister.
927
01:03:46,814 --> 01:03:49,150
Blimey. Bookends.
928
01:03:49,550 --> 01:03:52,162
Well, come inside,
I'll make you up a room.
929
01:03:52,262 --> 01:03:54,832
No, no, no, it's okay. Dad, come with me.
Come to the guesthouse.
930
01:03:54,933 --> 01:03:58,201
- We've got plenty of rooms.
- No, that's okay. Dad, come with me.
931
01:03:58,301 --> 01:04:00,737
- Are you sure?
- You're staying with me. I promise you.
932
01:04:00,837 --> 01:04:02,956
- Nice to meet you!
- You too!
933
01:04:03,056 --> 01:04:07,883
- Why exactly are you here?
- I'm visiting you and the little turd...
934
01:04:07,983 --> 01:04:13,825
- Fella. What's it bloody look like?
- Well, I don't really know. I mean...
935
01:04:13,925 --> 01:04:16,493
Jake, meet your grandfather.
936
01:04:16,593 --> 01:04:18,742
Yeah. I'm your granddad.
937
01:04:18,842 --> 01:04:21,800
I've got something for you
that I brought all the way from England.
938
01:04:21,901 --> 01:04:27,644
Would you like to see it?
Now that is a model of "HMS Defiance."
939
01:04:27,745 --> 01:04:30,075
God, Dad. You never let me
used to touch that.
940
01:04:30,175 --> 01:04:32,495
- What?
- Okay, I'll be right back.
941
01:04:32,596 --> 01:04:35,014
Hey! Wait a minute, where are you going?
942
01:04:35,114 --> 01:04:38,258
You can't bear to be in the same room
with me for two minutes, is that it?
943
01:04:38,359 --> 01:04:41,287
- No, that's not it, Dad, not at all!
- Can I keep it?
944
01:04:41,587 --> 01:04:44,632
Of course you can bloody keep it.
It's yours!
945
01:04:44,732 --> 01:04:48,731
But don't put it in the bath,
because it'll sink.
946
01:04:51,804 --> 01:04:54,100
- Hey, cool!
- Where should we put it? Here?
947
01:04:54,200 --> 01:04:56,774
- On the top!
- Yes, on the top!
948
01:04:58,680 --> 01:05:00,740
Hello, my lovelies.
949
01:05:00,840 --> 01:05:04,773
All I'm asking is, can you wait
till Monday morning at 11:00?
950
01:05:05,645 --> 01:05:07,364
Why?
951
01:05:07,464 --> 01:05:09,770
My green card interview.
952
01:05:11,151 --> 01:05:12,978
After that...
953
01:05:13,079 --> 01:05:15,056
you can...
954
01:05:15,697 --> 01:05:17,996
tell her what you like, okay?
955
01:05:36,252 --> 01:05:37,909
Dad...
956
01:05:38,521 --> 01:05:41,491
- I need to go pee.
- Come on, then.
957
01:05:41,891 --> 01:05:45,011
Hey, where the bloody hell
are you two going? Come on, hey!
958
01:05:45,111 --> 01:05:49,257
- We're going to go for a pee, Dad.
- Come on, whip it out. Come on!
959
01:05:49,357 --> 01:05:52,808
- Dad, you can't pee off the pier.
- Jake, who are you going to listen to?
960
01:05:52,908 --> 01:05:57,523
Your dad, who, for some buggering reason
has turned into a boring old fart,
961
01:05:57,623 --> 01:06:01,002
or your grandfather,
who's lived a rich and full life
962
01:06:01,102 --> 01:06:03,743
and doesn't take shite from anybody?
963
01:06:05,791 --> 01:06:08,277
You! Sorry, Dad.
964
01:06:08,377 --> 01:06:12,534
There you go, come on up here.
There you go. Up you go.
965
01:06:12,634 --> 01:06:16,869
Come on, you too.
If you're still my son, that is.
966
01:06:16,969 --> 01:06:21,430
All right, on three. One, two, three.
967
01:06:21,530 --> 01:06:24,540
Yeah! That's it.
968
01:06:29,574 --> 01:06:33,719
Well, somebody had
their vitamins this morning.
969
01:06:35,822 --> 01:06:38,516
You know, there are coconuts over there!
970
01:06:38,616 --> 01:06:40,810
Great isn't it? There you go.
971
01:06:41,912 --> 01:06:45,808
Beautiful. Oh, dear.
All right, all right, all right.
972
01:06:45,908 --> 01:06:49,870
That's good stuff.
Put on some tunes, guys?
973
01:06:50,370 --> 01:06:55,017
Oh, look at this. This is paradise, man.
You've ended up in paradise!
974
01:06:55,117 --> 01:06:58,466
You know, they must be freezing
their bollocks off in England.
975
01:07:01,390 --> 01:07:03,788
Why are you really here?
976
01:07:10,716 --> 01:07:15,008
Joan left me. Silly cow.
977
01:07:15,679 --> 01:07:19,759
Well, I'm sorry. Truly.
978
01:07:20,626 --> 01:07:25,356
Well, that makes me feel so much better.
979
01:07:25,457 --> 01:07:30,495
I mean, God almighty, thank you
for those profound words of sympathy.
980
01:07:30,595 --> 01:07:33,582
Well, it's a lot more than you
ever said when Kate left me.
981
01:07:33,682 --> 01:07:35,596
Well, I warned you about her!
982
01:07:35,696 --> 01:07:38,282
She was a rampant little Yankee trollop.
983
01:07:39,804 --> 01:07:42,755
You know what, Dad?
Of course Joan left you.
984
01:07:42,855 --> 01:07:46,796
You're a misanthropic, misogynistic asshole
who doesn't give a fuck about anybody,
985
01:07:46,896 --> 01:07:51,300
least of all the poor saps who you got
to marry you in the first place.
986
01:07:51,400 --> 01:07:54,787
Is that it? Is that all you've got?
987
01:07:54,887 --> 01:07:59,250
And you did it all in the name
of some misguided credo called fun.
988
01:07:59,350 --> 01:08:01,469
Which you brainwashed me
with in the first place.
989
01:08:01,569 --> 01:08:04,175
Guys, dig this song!
990
01:08:04,455 --> 01:08:05,551
Bugger off.
991
01:08:08,919 --> 01:08:11,362
That's it then, is it, boy wonder?
992
01:08:11,462 --> 01:08:15,238
So you finally got it
off your chest, have you?
993
01:08:15,338 --> 01:08:17,490
You know what, Dad?
994
01:08:18,011 --> 01:08:20,779
Why don't you just bugger off for once?
995
01:08:20,939 --> 01:08:22,484
For once...
996
01:08:22,584 --> 01:08:26,017
why don't you be the one to bugger off?
997
01:08:55,916 --> 01:08:58,703
Brian, go back to my wife.
998
01:08:59,054 --> 01:09:00,796
Go on.
999
01:09:00,896 --> 01:09:04,469
Go on, just... just go back.
1000
01:09:04,569 --> 01:09:06,586
Thank you for that wonderful sharing.
1001
01:09:06,686 --> 01:09:10,957
Seriously, this has been
absolutely a marvelous session.
1002
01:09:11,107 --> 01:09:14,485
I've learned so much.
Give yourselves a big hand. Everybody.
1003
01:09:14,586 --> 01:09:17,205
Wendy, I was wondering
if you could sign my form
1004
01:09:17,305 --> 01:09:19,917
to show that I've done the 10 sessions?
1005
01:09:21,410 --> 01:09:23,933
I'm sorry, Richard, I can't.
1006
01:09:25,539 --> 01:09:30,209
Why? I mean, I came,
I did the whole "I'm an alcoholic..."
1007
01:09:30,586 --> 01:09:33,805
But it's not about
just saying the words.
1008
01:09:33,906 --> 01:09:36,963
You have to actually mean them.
1009
01:09:43,049 --> 01:09:45,592
Great seeing you. Thanks so much.
1010
01:09:48,229 --> 01:09:50,357
Cindy, right?
1011
01:09:50,457 --> 01:09:53,910
I just spent the last week listening
to that drivel so some witless little ninny
1012
01:09:54,010 --> 01:09:57,005
won't sign a piece of paper
to say I'm an okay kind of guy.
1013
01:09:57,105 --> 01:10:00,521
Absolute bollocks. Sorry, excuse me.
1014
01:10:01,451 --> 01:10:03,695
Hey, you want to get a drink?
Actually, maybe not.
1015
01:10:03,796 --> 01:10:06,414
I've got a grueling lecture in an hour.
1016
01:10:06,514 --> 01:10:09,376
How about a joint?
Just kidding, bad joke.
1017
01:10:09,476 --> 01:10:13,689
I didn't want my son to find it.
I don't touch the stuff. It's my dad's.
1018
01:10:14,089 --> 01:10:15,962
Likes to puff.
1019
01:10:16,625 --> 01:10:20,041
- Good luck with your lecture.
- Thank you.
1020
01:10:28,129 --> 01:10:31,299
I want you all to imagine
you're at Cambridge University.
1021
01:10:31,399 --> 01:10:33,731
The year is 1807.
1022
01:10:33,843 --> 01:10:36,089
You walk across the quad
of Trinity College.
1023
01:10:36,189 --> 01:10:40,559
Into the lecture hall, you find
your fellow classmate, Lord Byron,
1024
01:10:40,659 --> 01:10:45,377
who, in defiance
of college rules about dogs,
1025
01:10:45,477 --> 01:10:48,628
has brought a bear to class instead.
1026
01:11:03,248 --> 01:11:05,453
You know what?
1027
01:11:06,060 --> 01:11:07,938
Forget about that.
1028
01:11:08,038 --> 01:11:11,820
Why are the Romantics relevant today?
1029
01:11:15,135 --> 01:11:16,909
Honestly...
1030
01:11:17,009 --> 01:11:18,708
they're not.
1031
01:11:20,158 --> 01:11:22,068
Stacy got it right.
1032
01:11:22,168 --> 01:11:26,314
And Dwight, he can't stop thinking
about home runs and fastballs
1033
01:11:26,414 --> 01:11:29,113
when he reads Byron and Coleridge.
1034
01:11:33,004 --> 01:11:34,687
Because...
1035
01:11:35,448 --> 01:11:37,532
we're teaching words.
1036
01:11:38,652 --> 01:11:40,295
Words.
1037
01:11:41,096 --> 01:11:43,644
But we're not teaching meaning.
1038
01:11:45,226 --> 01:11:47,291
I got it all wrong.
1039
01:11:47,736 --> 01:11:52,199
I can tell you about Byron and his bear,
Wordsworth falling in love with his cousin,
1040
01:11:52,299 --> 01:11:55,644
Coleridge falling in love with cocaine.
1041
01:11:55,744 --> 01:11:58,622
I can tell you what's behind
the words from them,
1042
01:11:59,223 --> 01:12:02,635
but I can't tell you what's behind
those words for you.
1043
01:12:03,536 --> 01:12:07,089
Because this class is about you
1044
01:12:07,189 --> 01:12:09,798
learning to find your own meaning.
1045
01:12:11,126 --> 01:12:13,225
Your own voices.
1046
01:12:15,423 --> 01:12:19,294
Go read the poems.
But know this, that at this moment,
1047
01:12:19,394 --> 01:12:24,415
you are the Romantics,
you are the relevant ones.
1048
01:12:24,515 --> 01:12:28,971
Let Byron, Coleridge, Wordsworth
inspire you to do your thing,
1049
01:12:29,071 --> 01:12:30,814
to go your own way.
1050
01:12:30,914 --> 01:12:33,867
Stacy, quit texting.
Call him, right now.
1051
01:12:34,317 --> 01:12:38,347
Dwight, go play ball.
Ignore anyone who says no, you can't.
1052
01:12:38,447 --> 01:12:42,982
Follow your hearts. Do good things,
be bold, and, above all else...
1053
01:12:44,284 --> 01:12:46,167
stick it to the man.
1054
01:12:49,091 --> 01:12:52,311
Well, Dad, I totally fucked up
my audition lecture.
1055
01:12:52,411 --> 01:12:56,658
I stuck it to them all right.
I stuck it to myself in the process, too.
1056
01:12:56,758 --> 01:13:01,245
Hey, listen, you silly old sod,
you just bolted before I could apologize.
1057
01:13:01,345 --> 01:13:04,374
Why are you so thin-skinned these days?
1058
01:13:04,474 --> 01:13:07,163
All right, call me back.
1059
01:13:22,100 --> 01:13:25,137
$4,000 should cover it.
1060
01:13:25,237 --> 01:13:26,394
What?
1061
01:13:26,494 --> 01:13:30,793
Your Mustang, Richard, it's got Sienna Red
paint there all over the back fender.
1062
01:13:30,893 --> 01:13:32,828
Unmistakable.
1063
01:13:32,928 --> 01:13:36,702
1954 MG TFs do not come cheap,
my friend.
1064
01:13:36,802 --> 01:13:39,185
Absolutely not. Can I give you a check?
1065
01:13:39,285 --> 01:13:41,299
I would prefer cash.
1066
01:13:44,807 --> 01:13:47,543
Wanted to be the first
to congratulate you.
1067
01:13:47,643 --> 01:13:50,755
Welcome to the English department,
University of Los Angeles.
1068
01:13:50,855 --> 01:13:52,891
Yes!
1069
01:13:52,991 --> 01:13:55,852
Oh, good. Oh, thank you, boss.
1070
01:13:55,952 --> 01:13:58,121
I guess we'll do the other side as well.
1071
01:13:58,221 --> 01:14:00,640
- Let's go have a pint.
- A pint of what? Oil?
1072
01:14:00,740 --> 01:14:04,815
A pint of what... Witty.
I'll always laugh at your jokes.
1073
01:14:13,237 --> 01:14:16,537
I got the job. ULA!
Knocked it out of the ballpark.
1074
01:14:16,637 --> 01:14:19,454
- Congratulations!
- Home run! Fantastic!
1075
01:14:19,554 --> 01:14:23,088
And I feel fantastic about you
and what we did, making love.
1076
01:14:23,188 --> 01:14:24,749
No, listen please. Hear me out.
1077
01:14:24,849 --> 01:14:27,221
Kate and I have been separated
for two years.
1078
01:14:27,321 --> 01:14:30,262
Why should we feel bad?
We're grownups, you know.
1079
01:14:30,363 --> 01:14:34,387
And if Kate doesn't like it, she can
bloody well just go... Hey, you. Brian.
1080
01:14:34,487 --> 01:14:37,757
Okay, okay, in the vault.
1081
01:14:39,864 --> 01:14:41,955
Oh, Kate.
1082
01:14:44,069 --> 01:14:45,732
Olivia.
1083
01:14:46,738 --> 01:14:48,615
My best friend.
1084
01:14:49,582 --> 01:14:52,218
Total trust.
1085
01:14:52,318 --> 01:14:54,354
No secrets!
1086
01:14:54,755 --> 01:14:58,717
- We were going to...
- You know what? If you want him, take him.
1087
01:14:59,117 --> 01:15:00,523
But get out of my house.
1088
01:15:01,762 --> 01:15:04,794
Well, now, maybe... okay.
1089
01:15:39,159 --> 01:15:40,831
Thank you.
1090
01:15:41,386 --> 01:15:44,047
Ernesto. Sorry I'm late.
1091
01:15:44,555 --> 01:15:48,105
- Where's your wife?
- Not coming. Sends her regards.
1092
01:15:49,477 --> 01:15:51,872
Okay, strike one, she's not here.
1093
01:15:51,972 --> 01:15:55,551
Strike two, you failed
the recovery program.
1094
01:15:55,651 --> 01:15:58,216
We may be 0-2, but we're going
to swing for the fences
1095
01:15:58,316 --> 01:16:00,656
on the University of Los Angeles.
1096
01:16:00,756 --> 01:16:01,712
Morning, officer Lewis.
1097
01:16:01,812 --> 01:16:04,868
Why has it taken nearly three years
to schedule this interview?
1098
01:16:04,969 --> 01:16:08,322
Well, my client never received
all the notifications from ICE.
1099
01:16:09,523 --> 01:16:12,401
Is this your handwriting, Mr. Haig?
1100
01:16:12,501 --> 01:16:16,280
Some of it is.
Some of it's also my son's.
1101
01:16:16,380 --> 01:16:18,608
Working on his cursive.
1102
01:16:18,708 --> 01:16:20,472
Can you explain this?
1103
01:16:20,843 --> 01:16:24,581
Yes, well, that's not my fault.
Painkillers, dental surgery.
1104
01:16:24,681 --> 01:16:28,120
My client's done 10 sessions of a recovery
program to show his good character.
1105
01:16:28,221 --> 01:16:31,763
Where's the letter of completion?
In the mail, with "bew-locks" written on it?
1106
01:16:32,464 --> 01:16:35,175
It's "bollocks," actually.
1107
01:16:35,275 --> 01:16:37,314
Officer Armstrong!
1108
01:16:42,700 --> 01:16:47,765
Please describe how Mr. Haig
tried to offer you marijuana.
1109
01:16:49,582 --> 01:16:53,552
The other night, as I was leaving
the recovery center,
1110
01:16:53,652 --> 01:16:56,754
Mr. Haig asked me
if I wanted some marijuana.
1111
01:16:58,391 --> 01:17:03,676
Under California law, the possession
of marijuana is a felony.
1112
01:17:03,776 --> 01:17:05,523
That's true.
1113
01:17:05,623 --> 01:17:07,862
What is it you say, Mr. Haig? Cheerios?
1114
01:17:09,811 --> 01:17:12,847
There you have it, the whole sorry saga.
1115
01:17:12,947 --> 01:17:17,686
Ernesto did do one thing
to justify his exorbitant fee.
1116
01:17:18,937 --> 01:17:21,415
He got me this one hour with you.
1117
01:17:22,266 --> 01:17:25,227
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Jake.
1118
01:17:25,327 --> 01:17:27,675
- Time's up.
- Jake, please.
1119
01:17:34,779 --> 01:17:37,135
I love you. Do you hear me?
I am so sorry.
1120
01:18:20,426 --> 01:18:22,812
"That is no country for old men.
1121
01:18:25,289 --> 01:18:28,542
The young in one another's arms,
1122
01:18:29,143 --> 01:18:31,003
birds in the trees,
1123
01:18:31,103 --> 01:18:34,936
those dying generations...
at their song."
1124
01:18:35,817 --> 01:18:37,769
So, what's Yeats saying here?
1125
01:18:37,869 --> 01:18:42,485
He's a 60-year-old man looking
at young people screwing and living,
1126
01:18:42,585 --> 01:18:45,605
blissfully unthinking
about their own mortality.
1127
01:18:46,035 --> 01:18:48,435
Yeats knows he's just an aged man,
1128
01:18:49,355 --> 01:18:51,977
but his dreams...
1129
01:18:52,078 --> 01:18:54,053
are of Byzantium.
1130
01:19:01,176 --> 01:19:02,896
- Hello?
- This is Memorial General.
1131
01:19:02,996 --> 01:19:05,682
We need to talk to you
about your father.
1132
01:19:41,050 --> 01:19:44,416
What the buggering hell
are you doing here?
1133
01:19:44,887 --> 01:19:47,215
You hate hospitals.
1134
01:19:47,415 --> 01:19:49,414
You're right.
1135
01:19:49,514 --> 01:19:52,292
I hate bloody hospitals.
1136
01:19:52,392 --> 01:19:55,294
But I love the nurses.
1137
01:20:01,238 --> 01:20:03,520
How's my little Jake?
1138
01:20:06,785 --> 01:20:09,091
He's all right, Dad.
1139
01:20:10,564 --> 01:20:12,622
You know, I...
1140
01:20:14,001 --> 01:20:17,284
I don't think I could have done
what you did.
1141
01:20:18,822 --> 01:20:23,540
You stuck with that boy
through all the muck and bullets.
1142
01:20:26,297 --> 01:20:29,265
You're a better man than I, Gunga Din.
1143
01:20:34,564 --> 01:20:36,979
I don't know about that, Dad.
1144
01:20:37,917 --> 01:20:41,910
You still shagging the...
Yank totty's sister, are we?
1145
01:20:42,010 --> 01:20:44,253
No, I blew that one.
1146
01:20:46,601 --> 01:20:49,729
Threw away a pearl beyond price.
1147
01:20:49,829 --> 01:20:53,550
Totty and Totty's sister.
1148
01:20:53,650 --> 01:20:57,200
None of us are talking.
It's all a big mess.
1149
01:21:04,770 --> 01:21:09,411
Marvelous bloody place,
though, isn't it? Californ-i-a?
1150
01:21:10,976 --> 01:21:15,995
Sunshine, beaches, and girls. Yeah.
1151
01:21:17,350 --> 01:21:19,452
Marijuana.
1152
01:21:19,552 --> 01:21:23,163
God, how the buggering hell
did I miss out on all that for so long?
1153
01:21:23,724 --> 01:21:25,645
You came.
1154
01:21:26,245 --> 01:21:28,464
You saw it once.
1155
01:21:31,289 --> 01:21:34,364
It all goes so fast.
1156
01:21:36,253 --> 01:21:39,516
These buggers here,
they don't think I've got long.
1157
01:21:42,476 --> 01:21:44,092
Well...
1158
01:21:44,392 --> 01:21:46,553
it's all a load of bollocks, really.
1159
01:21:47,154 --> 01:21:48,837
What is?
1160
01:21:50,117 --> 01:21:54,217
You know, there's nothing honorable
in misery, Richard.
1161
01:21:55,231 --> 01:21:57,931
Carpe diem.
1162
01:21:58,031 --> 01:22:01,568
Boff and be merry.
1163
01:22:02,054 --> 01:22:05,933
Now, listen. You listen to me carefully.
1164
01:22:06,033 --> 01:22:11,618
This might be the most important
bit of advice I'll ever give you.
1165
01:22:16,494 --> 01:22:18,757
For God's sake, man...
1166
01:22:18,857 --> 01:22:21,539
go and get your bloody girl.
1167
01:22:22,017 --> 01:22:23,894
Go on.
1168
01:22:24,595 --> 01:22:26,617
Bugger off.
1169
01:22:38,842 --> 01:22:40,856
Hey, Richard.
1170
01:22:43,239 --> 01:22:45,536
You remember my epitaph.
1171
01:22:47,368 --> 01:22:49,324
Of course I do, Dad.
1172
01:22:50,713 --> 01:22:52,919
Of course I do.
1173
01:23:54,696 --> 01:23:58,128
Byzantium is the place he longs for.
1174
01:23:58,458 --> 01:24:00,802
He needs to make this journey.
1175
01:24:00,902 --> 01:24:04,423
I'm going to sort this all out.
I promise you. Okay, Jake?
1176
01:24:04,523 --> 01:24:05,979
How?
1177
01:24:08,343 --> 01:24:10,541
I'll Skype you tomorrow, okay?
1178
01:24:18,746 --> 01:24:20,297
Is she talking to Olivia yet?
1179
01:24:20,398 --> 01:24:23,609
Olivia's book launches here next week.
Kate isn't even going.
1180
01:24:24,510 --> 01:24:27,984
- She's icing everyone out, even me.
- All right.
1181
01:24:28,485 --> 01:24:29,837
See ya, Brian.
1182
01:24:29,937 --> 01:24:32,802
Yeats knows that unless
he makes this journey,
1183
01:24:32,902 --> 01:24:37,157
unless he defies logic and authority,
1184
01:24:37,357 --> 01:24:42,182
unless his soul claps hands
and sings out loud...
1185
01:24:45,073 --> 01:24:47,434
he is nothing more...
1186
01:24:48,134 --> 01:24:51,520
than a tattered coat upon a stick.
1187
01:25:19,742 --> 01:25:22,157
You old bugger.
1188
01:25:25,348 --> 01:25:28,241
There is a country for old men.
1189
01:25:30,896 --> 01:25:33,081
If not now, when?
1190
01:25:34,332 --> 01:25:39,491
Ernesto, Richard Haig. C�mo est�?
1191
01:26:35,796 --> 01:26:38,370
Adios! Adios, amigos.
1192
01:26:49,110 --> 01:26:51,672
- Hey, Dad.
- Hi, Jakey.
1193
01:26:51,772 --> 01:26:53,922
Go to the door and tell me what you see.
1194
01:26:54,023 --> 01:26:55,795
Okay.
1195
01:27:03,466 --> 01:27:07,637
Oh, look at you, boy! Oh, look at you.
1196
01:27:07,737 --> 01:27:09,502
Richie!
1197
01:27:12,208 --> 01:27:15,820
Thank God you're here, dude.
Thank God. Thank God.
1198
01:27:15,920 --> 01:27:19,208
- You can let go now, Brian. That's okay.
- Okay. All right. Okay.
1199
01:27:20,209 --> 01:27:22,604
Can you believe it, Mom?
He's really here.
1200
01:27:22,894 --> 01:27:26,415
- Hi, Kate.
- Hey, how did you get here?
1201
01:27:26,515 --> 01:27:29,434
I just came across the border.
It's an old trick of mine.
1202
01:27:29,534 --> 01:27:33,355
- What if you get caught?
- I won't. I'll be gone before they know it.
1203
01:27:33,455 --> 01:27:38,152
Remember my lawyer, Ernesto? He's going
to sort this whole mess out, okay?
1204
01:27:38,252 --> 01:27:39,870
- Yay!
- Don't you worry.
1205
01:27:39,970 --> 01:27:42,039
It's only going to cost me a fortune.
1206
01:27:42,139 --> 01:27:45,496
And look, Kate,
we can't keep going like this.
1207
01:27:45,596 --> 01:27:50,140
I mean, Jake, he needs his mom
and dad to be adults, right?
1208
01:27:50,640 --> 01:27:52,312
Yeah.
1209
01:27:53,559 --> 01:27:56,913
Look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry we hurt you.
1210
01:27:57,013 --> 01:28:01,126
Olivia wanted to tell you,
and it was my fault she didn't.
1211
01:28:01,627 --> 01:28:05,514
But you're sisters. Come on.
Cut her some slack.
1212
01:28:05,614 --> 01:28:08,120
Life is so short, Kate.
1213
01:28:08,834 --> 01:28:11,997
Like my dad used to say, carpe diem.
1214
01:28:12,097 --> 01:28:14,736
Let's boff and be merry?
1215
01:28:17,051 --> 01:28:19,570
- Okay.
- Great.
1216
01:28:19,670 --> 01:28:22,944
Great. And... one last thing.
1217
01:28:23,382 --> 01:28:26,788
- Can I take a shower, please?
- He really stinks.
1218
01:28:28,162 --> 01:28:33,389
Thank you, everybody, for coming.
I would like to thank my agent,
1219
01:28:33,490 --> 01:28:35,056
Tim Prince.
1220
01:28:35,156 --> 01:28:38,130
I would also like to thank my...
1221
01:28:38,230 --> 01:28:41,343
ex brother-in-law, Richard.
1222
01:28:41,443 --> 01:28:44,896
He was the inspiration
for the burnt-out,
1223
01:28:44,996 --> 01:28:49,284
recovering-alcoholic cop
who saves the day.
1224
01:28:49,734 --> 01:28:52,441
Although he doesn't know it,
so let's not tell him.
1225
01:28:53,421 --> 01:28:58,385
And, lastly, I would like to thank
somebody very special to me
1226
01:28:58,485 --> 01:29:01,238
who couldn't be here today,
1227
01:29:01,338 --> 01:29:05,262
which is nobody's fault but mine.
1228
01:29:32,745 --> 01:29:35,116
All right. Here we are.
1229
01:29:48,328 --> 01:29:50,001
Hey.
1230
01:29:54,084 --> 01:29:57,331
I'm so sorry. So sorry.
1231
01:29:57,432 --> 01:29:59,423
I'm sorry, too.
1232
01:29:59,523 --> 01:30:01,988
Let's never fight again, okay?
1233
01:30:03,060 --> 01:30:04,916
Come here.
1234
01:30:13,704 --> 01:30:17,083
- Let's go back inside.
- Just give me a minute, all right?
1235
01:30:17,183 --> 01:30:18,881
Okay.
1236
01:30:29,062 --> 01:30:30,818
Hi.
1237
01:30:32,123 --> 01:30:36,174
- You came.
- I came. Piece of cake.
1238
01:30:39,856 --> 01:30:42,355
I came because I love you.
1239
01:30:43,777 --> 01:30:46,175
I came because I need you.
1240
01:30:47,572 --> 01:30:49,825
I need my son.
1241
01:30:49,925 --> 01:30:52,211
I need my family.
1242
01:30:52,311 --> 01:30:54,367
That's why I came.
1243
01:30:56,582 --> 01:30:59,910
- You want to hear something crazy?
- What?
1244
01:31:00,010 --> 01:31:01,554
I knew you'd come.
1245
01:31:01,654 --> 01:31:04,874
- It's irrational.
- It's romantic.
1246
01:31:05,575 --> 01:31:07,628
You and I...
1247
01:31:07,728 --> 01:31:11,760
we've only had moments.
Now we have time.
1248
01:31:36,090 --> 01:31:40,949
I spent my whole life
in opposition to this man.
1249
01:31:42,179 --> 01:31:45,036
Honestly, he never did
a bloody thing for me,
1250
01:31:45,967 --> 01:31:48,098
except this.
1251
01:31:49,679 --> 01:31:52,603
Asking me to scatter his ashes here.
1252
01:31:55,502 --> 01:31:57,908
And it saved my life,
1253
01:31:59,406 --> 01:32:02,709
because it brought me back to the people
I love most in this world.
1254
01:32:09,742 --> 01:32:13,228
- Even you, Brian.
- You're the man, Richard.
1255
01:32:13,598 --> 01:32:17,566
There comes a time, and there's always
a time, and I guess this is the time.
1256
01:32:17,666 --> 01:32:21,724
So, Jakey, shall we set grandpa free?
1257
01:32:30,413 --> 01:32:32,469
Okay, Dad.
1258
01:32:33,107 --> 01:32:35,388
Enjoy paradise.
1259
01:32:42,976 --> 01:32:45,762
So how long are you staying?
1260
01:32:45,862 --> 01:32:48,515
Okay, Jakey, listen to me here.
1261
01:32:48,615 --> 01:32:50,879
I have to sort out a few things first.
1262
01:32:52,602 --> 01:32:54,430
But...
1263
01:32:54,530 --> 01:32:58,150
maybe marrying your aunt might help.
1264
01:33:00,377 --> 01:33:03,901
- What?
- Well, I am down on one knee.
1265
01:33:07,200 --> 01:33:10,224
Then get up and kiss me again.
101437
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