All language subtitles for Heading.Out.S01E04.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-MADSKY_track4_[eng]

[ Upbeat music plays ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

One rat rope bridge,
six nibbling cubes,

and a hamster snuggle pouch.

Yep. Check.

OK, one ferret adventure centre,
one supreme gerbil fortress,

one supreme gerbil palace.

Check. No, hang on --
no fortress.

That's fine.
We've got the palace.

No, but they're not
the same thing.

A palace is just a posh house.

A fortress is
a military installation.

I think the bigger question,
Daniel, is,

why does a rodent need
a fortress?

- Well, fine. Just don't expect
it to be able to defend itself

in a siege situation.

You are seriously asking me
to restock an item

because you think there
might be a Gerbil Stalingrad?

[ Bell dings ]

Oh, shit. Look!

Oh, God, its her.

Look, go and see what she wants.

No, you go and see
what she wants.

I'm looking for this fortress.

[Scoffs] I don't want
to see her.

Go and do the consult

[ Sighs ] What's in it for me?

- A day off.
- Nah.

- Two days off.
- Better.

- Starting?
- Tomorrow?

- [ Scoffs ]
- Alright, straight after you've seen her.

Perfect.
My mum's away --

means I can spend
a long weekend

with Mistress Venerea
and The Ninja Vixen.

Aye?

[ Shudders ]

Right. One squirrel swingball,

one My First Kitten
karate kit...

[ Telephone ringing ]

[Whispering] Hello?

[Normally] Yes, uh,
speaking, yeah.

Oh, yes, of course
I have remembered, yes.

Um, brilliant, great.

Um, well, I-I look forward
to seeing him...tomorrow.

Yes, tomorrow, that's...perfect,
yeah, great.

Great. Thanks so much
for calling.

- But he's still having...
- That's great. I've got to go.

[woman] Come on, Smithy.
Come on.

[Daniel] So, as I say,
most likely it's a bug.

Although there's a 1% chance
it's a twisted bowel,

in which case
those pills I've given you

will be completely useless,
and he'll die in agony.

OK? Well good luck with that.

Bye.

Well, you've lost none
of your reassuring banter.

Daniel, a word, please.

No, the dog is not really sick.

Yes, she probably just came
in here to see you.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I've got a date
with a pneumatic redhead

in my newly customized
lounge-dungeon.

And I imagine that lady comes
with a foot pump.

Now, I've had a fascinating call
from PSS because apparently,

a Jonathan Walters
is coming tomorrow

to carry out an inspection.

Well they sent a letter

How am I supposed
to find anything in that mess?

Mr. Walters, 9:00 a.m.,
Tuesday 12th.

Easy. See?

I've explained this to you
a million times before.

It's such a simple system.

Left hand side,
people you can tolerate.

Middle, people
you just want to slightly hurt.

Right hand side, people
you want to destroy.

OK, then, within that,
you've got sub sections --

needs a good slapping,
needs a good kicking,

needs an elastic band
round the bollocks.

That's quite a big section,
that.

So where's Mr. Walters?

Well, his personality is yet
unknown,

isn't he, so put in
on the neutral shelf.

Haven't assessed him yet.
He's a pen-pusher,

so he'll be somewhere
between "acid bath"

and "punch to the kidneys."

Right. See ya. Bye.

Bye. Enjoy.
[ Mimicking inflation noises ]

[ Deflates ]

♪♪

- [Muffled] Get off! GET OFF!
- Well done. Well done.

- What was that?
- One minute, seven.

Excellent. You're getting
much faster at expressing

those personal boundaries.

Two weeks time,
your parents will be here,

and it's crunch time.

Do I have buttock marks
on my face?

[both] Yes.

Now, your problem is that you
don't just come out with things.

You need to be more honest.
More direct. Yes?

- Maybe.
- Now, I think the best way

to achieve this
would be for us to get stuck

in with some good
old-fashioned role-play.

Yes? Yes. Great. OK.

Now stand up and shake it out.
Shake it out.

Shake it out.
Right, let me think about this.

OK, OK, I've got it. Justine,
you're a waitress, and Sara --

sit down, sit down --
sit it down, sit it down --

now, you are a customer.

You're halfway through
your starter,

and you find a beetle in it.

I want you to complain.

[ Clears throat ]
Excuse me...

Of course.

I am sorry, my leg,
it was damaged in an accident.

Oh, for goodness sake.
I mean --

Babcia told me not
to play on construction site,

but I was young.

I did not know
what bulldozer was.

Now all I have is this job.
How can I help you?

Yeah, I really cant do this,
'cause that's --

Shush! Just hold it there.
Hold it there.

Be honest. Go on.

- [ Clears throat ] Uh.
- Yes?

- Sorry, it's the salad --
- You don't like the salad?

My brother made that salad
before he died.

Now I make it every day
in honour of him.

Yeah, this, it's --
it's ridiculous.

This is brilliant.
Just have another go.

How can I help you?

Ah, you're from the Old Country.

Me too, yes.
I see you have accident?

I also have accident,
I have very, very withered arm,

but I use it like scarf
now to keep warm.

So, which part of Poland
are you from?

Krakow.

My family also from
there many years.

We are like sisters.
We have bonded together, yes?

So come get the beetle
out of this shitting salad!

Excellent! Hug it out.

- Oh, no.
- Hug it out.

Hug it out. Oh!

[ Cellphone ringing ]
Oh, sorry. I've got to go.

[ Sighs ] I promised
One Direction

I'd give them a status workshop.

If I'm one second late,
little Harry will be

MILFing the heck
out of something.

Hello, Harry! Now, I've told you
to stop sexting me.

You're really good
at that role-play stuff.

Thanks. I love it.

Don't suppose you want to do
anymore, do you?

Sure.
Who am I?

Right, you're going to be
an receptionist at a busy vets.

Now, your job
is to welcome clients

and also sort out the disastrous
filing left by your predecessor.

- Great!
- Great. Alright.

Well, you start tomorrow.
[Quieter] Minimum wage.

♪♪

Thank you.

[ Bird chirping ]

God, this is looking
so tidy.

This is a great job.
Are you enjoying it?

Hi, I don't know you.

I'm Anne-Marie.
The agency sent me.

Wow, you really like to get
deep into character, don't you?

Hello.
Uh, don't bin that.

That's for the rescue centre,
so just pop that up there.

I'm trying to raise
some cash for them.

They're going down the tubes,
poor things.

Alright, listen, send the next
patient in, Justine, thanks.

[ Clears throat ]

- [Quietly] Ann-Marie.
- Oh, sorry, Ann-Marie.

Mrs. Batalova,
the vet will see you now.

I have been waiting
fifteen minutes.

If you were in Russia,
you would be in gulag by now.

I am Ivanka Budska
Carolina Batalova.

Husband is
Dmitri Konstantin Batalova.

And this is our baby son,
Sasha Anatoli Vadim Kutchera IV.

Hello there, little fella.

Don't touch him.
Don't ever touch him.

Do you have any idea
who this is?

Sasha. The fourth.

This is a dog from Russia's
most famous bloodline.

His ancestors have licked
the feet of the Tsars

all the way back
to the 14th century.

His great-great-great-great
grandfather

defecated in Lenin's shoe.

Don't ever touch him.

OK. Perhaps you can tell me
what's wrong with him.

A week ago we introduce Sasha
to Alexandria Chermatova,

the famous bitch.

He did not like her.
We left them alone together.

Nothing.

Now my husband refuse
to have him in the house

until he makes
masculine eruption.

He cannot make sexy
with other dog.

He is wrong penis, maybe.

- Um, uh --
- You can help?

- I'll certainly try.
- Have you heard of oil?

- Yes.
- You've heard of gas.

- Yes.
- We own them.

If you help Sasha
to achieve the wood,

I pay you much, much money.

The Russian way,
in bag in boot of car.

- And if I don't?
- Same for you. Boot of car.

[ Door opens, bell dings ]

Jonathan: Ah, good morning.

I'm from
the Practice Standards Scheme.

Achoo! [ Sighs ]

- Justine: Oh, here you go.
- Oh. Thank you.

[ Sniffles ] Yes.
I'm Jonathan Walters, PSS.

Um, are you the receptionist
or one of the vets?

I-I am a vet.

Ah. Well, I inspect vets.

Uh...

Oh, no, no, no.

Um, no.

Okay, I just want to get
some kind of idea

as to the type you like.

- So...let me know.
- [ Dog panting ]

Something long-haired?

No? Short-haired?

How about something
Continental...or exotic?

- [ Dog whimpers ]
- [ Sighs ]

- I don't know. Are you gay?
- [ Dog growls ]

Alright. Alright, easy.

You Russians,
you're all the same.

[ Dog panting ]

Justine: So, that's my dream --

A plastic-surgery clinic
for animals.

- Called Pug Ugly?
- Yes.

- Jonathan: Hmm.
- I want it to be classy.

Oh, of course.
Well, I've never understood

the joys of
small-animal surgery.

For me,
it's about all things equine.

Nothing beats sitting
astride a stallion,

that taut barrel
between your thighs,

breathing in
that fresh, salty sweat,

feeling your hearts
beating as one,

and then jump!

- Ahhh.
- Mm.

- Do you know what I mean?
- Not really.

Anyhow, we should, uh,
trot on,

- get on with this inspection.
- I'm, uh, not sure

- what's keeping our senior vet.
- [ Dog whining ]

Perhaps we should
hurry her along.

Yes, why not.

[ Dog panting ]

Sara: [ Russian accent ]
You want a bit of butt, huh,

in your face?

I'm the Beyoncé
of animal behaviorism.

- Look at this, look at this.
- Achoo!

[ Dog panting ]

This is Jonathan.

[ Normal voice ] Of course.

Jonathan Walters, PSS.

I've been chatting
to your colleague.

And I have to say, she's abreast

of some very cutting-edge
surgical techniques.

Really?

Oh, uh, lovely to meet you.

Achoo!

Um, one thing.

On the form, there are two vets
listed at the practise,

but I've got them written
as Sara and Daniel.

Is that right?

That should read Danielle.

Danielle.
I'll make that change.

And you just do small animals
here, yes?

- Mm-hmm.
- Nothing bigger, like h-horses?

Well, it's very hard
to get a horse

into a small urban practice.

Yeah. Your loss.

Well, Danielle has offered
to take me on a tour

of the premises,

so if I can just take a moment
to clear my nostrils,

[Inhales deeply]
I'll be right with you.

[ Sighs ]

- What are you playing at?
- I'm role-playing.

- Like you asked.
- I said receptionist, not vet.

[ Sighs ]
You know, got bored.

Well, I get bored, but I don't
suddenly turn into a florist!

Why are you talking
with that Northern accent?

Well, the only thing
I could think of was...

Both: "All Creatures
Great and Small."

Hmm.
Well, thanks very much, Tristan.

You have landed me right in it.

♪♪

Jonathan: Well, thank you both.

That was a very interesting
briefing.

I'll certainly take on board
your comments

about a uniform, Danielle.

Yeah, I mean, do think about it.
I'd -- I'd go floral or pastel.

You just -- [ Sighs ]

Something to soften
the whole evil-inspector vibe.

Hmm.

Well, I'll, uh, see you
tomorrow then.

Tomorrow?

Yes, for the one-on-one
interviews.

It's just the basics --
uh, CPD records,

rates of post-surgical
infection, that sort of thing.

I might watch a procedure, too,
if that suits.

Absolutely.

Well, uh, have a good evening.

And, uh, thanks.

- Bye-bye.
- Bye.

- I think that went brilliantly.
- [ Door creaks ]

You told him
we'd treated a unicorn.

Yeah, yeah, well,
I was trying to impress him.

I mean, they're -- they are
rare, aren't they?

- They are, they are very rare.
- Justine: Hmm.

How come I didn't know
he was coming two days in a row?

Where's that --
Where's that letter?

Oh, here.

Under "S" for "Scary."

Does anybody file
traditionally anymore,

or is it always done
by emotional states?

This isn't going to work.

I'm going to need to get
Daniel back.

I'm going to tell him a story.

I shall say that you were
a locum or...

just a passing nutter.

Justine: Oh.

So, does that mean
the role play is over?

Yes.

Well, who am I going to be now?

Erm...Justine?

And what is her motivation?

D'you know, I've
never really had a clue.

[ Telephone ringing ]

Man: Please leave a message.

Eve: Hi.
This is a message for Sara.

It's Eve.
Erm... [ Sighs ]

Okay, when you get this,
can you call me?

I really need to talk to you.
It's about my dog.

Are you there?
If you're there,

please can you pick up?
It's urgent.

Aren't you going to
call her back?

Nope. It's a ploy.

She knows that I know
she's seeing somebody.

So this is just another way
of reeling me in.

But h-her dog is...

It's a lie. Trust me.

- Gosh.
- Mm-hmm.

Can I just keep
the Northern accent?

No, lass.

♪♪

[ Indistinct shouting ]

Daniel!

Daniel!

Oh, it's you.

What the bloody hell
are you doing here?

Look, it's going really
badly, this inspection.

Really badly.
I just need you to come by

tomorrow
and help me out, please.

No, I'm sorry, I told you I'm
busy for the next few days.

It's, uh, Ninja Vixen time.

Oh, yeah, sorry, I forgot.

Yes, it's, er -- it's you
and Red Sonja

and Queen Carnal,
Empress Gonorrhoea,

all just holed up
for -- for the weekend.

Great.

You'd rather sit in that flat
and play video games

than help me out,
you loser.

- Who dares to call you a loser,
Prince Gothica?

Be calm, my princess,
or you may wake The Vixen.

So sorry to interrupt.
Erm, great to meet you.

Erm, lovely sword, by the way.

Er, I-I should go anyway.
I was just going to...

- Yeah, if you wouldn't mind,
I'm mid-wargasm here.

[ Chuckles ]

Sara: Okay, so, you're not
that into bondage, then?

We know that.
So vanilla.

[ Soft South Asian music plays ]

Right, now, I think we could
kick off with a little relaxer

that I picked up from the
Cujareno tribe in the Amazon --

"La Danza de las Mujeres
Desnudas Hormonales,"

or ''The Dance of
the Hormonal Naked Women."

Right, now, what we need is
some rush matting

and a couple of corks.
Okay?

No?

- No.
- No.

Toria: Shame.

Never mind, let's do
a simple exercise instead.

We each take it in turns
to make a claim,

and then the others guess
whether it's true or false.

[ Chuckling ] Right.

Toria: Eventually, we build up
enough trust

and knowledge of the group
to be able to disclose

something, erm, genuine.
Yes? Alright, Jamie, you start. .

Alright, okay, erm, huh,
I like relaxing with...

- That's a lie. He never relaxes.
- Aah! She's good, she's good.

My turn, my turn, my turn.

I once played Spin the Bottle
with the Queen Mother.

- True.
- True.

False. [ Laughs ]

No, it was
Prince Albert of Monaco.

[ Laughter ]

Erm, I once exploded a gerbil.

- True?
- False.

Actually, it's false.
It just mildly expanded.

Wait, I was once cautioned
by the Italian police

for cleaning toe jam
from Michelangelo's "David."

- True.
- True.

- Aw, I'm rubbish at this.
- Women: [ Chuckling ]

Last night, I had
an erotic dream about Jamie

in which we performed
Position 16 of the Kama Sutra,

- the Wheelbarrow.
- That's false.

I think its true.

It is true.

And then we went on
to perform the Wagon Wheel

- and the Angry Lobster.
- Oh, God.

Rrrr.
Well, I once took down

a-a client's details
from our records,

and then I went to her house,

because I've got a really
terrible crush on her,

and it's -- it's
doomed to failure.

- True!
- Jamie: True!

- Well done!
- Jamie: Ah!

- Sara: Oh, God!
- Toria: Jamie,

get the stopwatch, right?
I'm coming in.

Sara: No, get off. Not that.

- Toria: I'm coming in.
Sara: I don't want to be reborn.

I don't want to be reborn.

♪♪

- Morning!
- Morning.

- No luck with Daniel, then?
- No.

He's currently upside down,
being flagellated

by an Essex leather princess.

- Well, I-I got your message.
- Mm-hmm.

- And, erm, I am ready.
- Yeah?

I spent all of last night
researching being a vet.

Ask me anything.
Anything at all.

What vaccines do you give
a 10-week-old pup?

Measles, mumps, rubella,

and if it's been a cold winter,
a flu jab?

How do lambs acquire immunity?

I want to say,
if they become diplomats,

but I know that's --
that's not right, is it?

- No.
- Or is it?

We're doomed.

No we're not.

Er, I've -- Cos I've got
a backup plan.

- Sara: Oh, God.
- I've asked Jamie to come in

and he's going to kick up a fuss
about his rabbit's appendix.

Rabbits don't have appendixes.

Well, then you'll be
able to tell him that,

and you're showing off
your knowledge.

[ Door opens ]

Morning.

Can I get you a cup of tea?

No, thank you.
I'm a little pressed for time.

So let's crack on
with the interviews

and have a look at
your surgical rota.

Do you have copies of your CVs?

- CVs?
- Jonathan: Yes.

I assume you do have copies.

Yeah, of course, we do,
in our cupboard.

Filed under...F-Fuh.

- [ Dramatic music plays ]
- [ Knock on door ]

Come in.

Take a seat.

So...Daniel...

That's a good start isn't it?
Change that to Danielle.

I've been reading
your mission statement --

"I can lead a horse to water,
but I can't make it drink."

What does that even mean?

"I am a sexual talisman
who brings energy,

vigour, and potency
to the party."

- Right.
- Don't interrupt me.

[ Paper rustles ]

"My hobbies include
battle reenactments,

cage fighting, helping animals,
and big game hunting."

♪♪

"I pride myself
on my attention to detail,

team management skills,
organisational abilities,

and my attention to detail."

- Ah.
- I haven't finished.

I quote, "I am very
experienced at pubic relations."

Not presenting a
very good picture, is it?

Right, sum yourself up
in 18 words.

Oh, erm...

This isn't counting
towards my words, is it?

Really?

So, how many have I got left?

Oh.

[ Clicks tongue ]

Care to tell me
what's going on?

What do you mean?

Well, your colleague
Danielle.

What about her?

She's patently not qualified.

What gives you that idea?

When I asked her
about her training,

she cited "Springwatch"
and "Lambing Live."

She thinks a gecko is
a baby T. rex.

She's a maverick.

When I asked her which animal
she'd most like to encounter,

she said, "A Wookiee."

Oh, God, not Wookiee.

[ Sighs ]

Okay, she's not a vet.

She's -- She's my friend.

She's here helping out,

and we were a vet short
and, well, she knew

how important
this inspection was to me,

so stuff just snowballed
from there.

I lied. I'm sorry.

I'm -- I'm prepared
to face the consequences.

But why would you do that?
Why lie?

To smooth things over, to
avoid disappointing someone.

To indulge someone's fantasy
of being something they're not.

Haven't you ever done that?

I always wanted to be a pirate,
but frightened of water,

so I became a vet.

How about you?

You can't have always
wanted to be an inspector.

Achoo!

Oh, damn it.
Where's my inhaler?

Thought you said
you had a cold.

- I do.
- Well, why would you need

- an inhaler?
- Why not?

- Where the hell is it?
- Well, no reason.

But, I mean, inhalers,
you usually use if you've got --

Have you been shaving cats
in here?

- You have, haven't you?
- No!

Well, one or --
Well, there was two maybe.

Jonathan: Just help me
look for it, please.

Yeah.

Ah. Here.

[ Breathing heavily ]

Why do you need an inhaler,
Jonathan?

I mean, usually, you'd
use an inhaler for --

Alright! Just give me
the inhaler, please.

[ Sighs ]

[ Inhales deeply ]

[ Exhales deeply ]

You wanted to be a pirate.

Well...I always wanted
to be a vet.

From the moment
I saw my first horse, I knew it.

A palomino called Sally.

Lovely springy barrel,

the way her spine dug
into my tailbone.

[ Clears throat ]

So I studied and studied,
got into vet school.

And then, out of nowhere,
in the second year,

I started wheezing and coughing,
and, well, that was it.

I'm sorry.

My only real regret
is that I --

I never got to save a life.

Nobody in a suit ever did any
anything as wondrous as that.

- [ Door opens ]
- Jamie: Is there a vet here?

I need help.

Help! I-I need a vet!

Help! Hi.
I-I need a vet.

Er, my rabbit's
appendix have burst.

- Rabbits don't have appendix.
- Rabbits don't have appendix.

Er, well, there -- there's
something very wrong with her,

and I need you to come
with me now.

[ Dog barking ]

[ Dramatic music plays ]

Oh, no. Oh -- Oh, no.

Oh -- Oh -- Oh, no.

No, no, no, no.
Get it --

Get it away from me.
No, I'm in moleskin.

- I'm in moleskin!
- [ Thud ]

I-I'm sorry, I-I'm not allowed
to touch him!

He's related to the Romanovs
or something!

Oh, God. Oh, no,
it's got its lipstick out.

Not the moleskin.
[ Whimpers ]

- Eve: Can you help me, please?
- Aw!

He just collapsed.
He's been puking all day.

- Didn't you get my message?
- Oh, just keep him lying still.

I need to check his stomach.
And that is very swollen.

Okay, we're going to skip
bloodwork and radiography.

Daniel, can you prep
the surgery, please?!

Daniel!

Oh, shit.

Erm, I can do it...
if you like.

Okay, erm, I need you to
prepare the surgery

for emergency gastrotomy.

I will need minor surgery pack,
and scrub in.

Justine, you too, scrub in.

Okay, beginning exploration.

Midline abdominal approach,
cutting along the linea alba.

Justine: Blood pressure 1:37,
1:38...

still rising...

That's the digital clock,
Justine.

This is exciting, isn't it?

I haven't been
in an operating theatre

since I removed
an infected bit from a Shetland.

The way the light
caught her shaggy mane.

She was naked. I was naked.
We were all naked.

Hate to interrupt.
Do naked later.

Let's save this dog.

Look, there's something in here,
blocking the pylorus!

Can't see it.

Listen, do you want to
take the reins?

I'd love to.
Now, before I begin,

I need to know
how many hands is he.

Okay, one, two, three, four.

- Four and a thumb.
- Four and a thumb.

- Sara: Forceps.
- Jonathan: Forceps, right.

Aah!

God, how did I miss that?

What is that?
It's a palace.

- Actually, it's a fortress.
- Not you, as well.

Justine: Is there a difference?

A fortress is
a military installation.

Justine: You're my hero.

Okay, right, okay,
let's clean the wound.

Jonathan: Achoo!

- Might need --
- Achoo!

- Just want to --
- Achoo!

That's just fine.
It's just snot.

[ Monitor beeping ]
Damn.

- He's losing too much blood.
- Justine?

Justine: I've got a steady
reading of 9.5

They're the weighing scales!
You're standing on them.

I can't stabilise
the pressure!

Sara: Alright, increase fluids.

Not you, Justine, the dog!
Clamp!

- Clamp.
- Jonathan: Come on.

Come on, boy.

We're not going to lose you.
[ Snorts like horse ]

Whoa, that apple.

Easy. [ Clicking tongue ]

Whoa.

Easy, there.

[ Sighs ]

Perfect job, Jonathan.

Thank you.

Now, pass me that suture needle,

and let's get this gelding
sewn up.

♪♪

Not quite sure what to make of
the past couple of days,

but, er, thank you.

It's been great
to get back in the saddle.

Well, thank you.
I mean I promise I'm going to be

an awful lot more
straightforward next time.

Ah, your secret's safe with me.
Oh, I hope you don't mind.

I'd like to keep this
as a souvenir?

It will sit well
next to my dressage cup.

- Of course you can.
- Jonathan: Thank you.

Achoo!

[ Both sigh ]

Well, now we've both got
a souvenir.

Indeed.
Nice to meet you.

And you.

[ Sighs ]

I need to warn you,
he's left half his sinus cavity

in your dog's stomach.

Oh, does that mean
we need to come back?

- Stop it.
- [ Sighs ]

I came to your house.

Oh, so, that was you
by the bins,

in the night-vision goggles?

I came to your house.

I know you did.
Well, I guessed it was you.

You ran off.
I wanted to --

Very sorry. Um...
I've been incredibly childish.

I should have answered the phone
when you called,

and I should have done
that consultation,

and that was
incredibly unprofessional.

- It won't happen again.
- I'm here for Sasha.

- Have you made him erect yet?
- Erm, I haven't, no,

but, erm, our resident
sexologist, Dr. James, has.

Excellent.
My husband will be delighted

that there is no longer
a eunuch in the house.

I bring you this, as arranged.
Do not ask where it comes from.

Where is my dog?
We must plunge him immediately

into Alexandria Sheremetyevo
VII while she is still drippy.

He's -- He's just there.
I'll -- I'll get him.

[ Sighs ]

Okay, Jamie, time to go.

Jamie: Where are we going?

Sara: Well, I'm not going
anywhere,

but you are going with
a very nice Russian lady

to create the next generation
of Slavic sex pest.

I'm not going.
You can't make me.

Well, I'm not going to
make you, no.

Erm, but I can offer you
[Gasps] this,

which could be, I don't know,
lifetime supply of mop heads,

microfibre cloths,
hand sanitisers,

whatever you want it
to be, really.

- Hmm.
- Now, you promise me

- there'll be no touching?
- I promise.

Sara: Alright, all sorted,
Mrs. Batalova.

Dr. James will come with you now
and oversee the mating.

[ Whispering] Sasha, just so you
know that the last dog of hers

who didn't make sexy
ended up as that coat,

so get it up, old fella.

[ Dog panting ]

[ Door opens ]

Listen...
about the other day...

it is over.
I just --

I haven't had the guts
to say so, that's all.

[ Normal voice ] It's not
for me to judge you.

You know?
I would be hypocritical.

Plenty of things I've haven't
told the people I love,

so it's just call it quits.

We really need
to sort ourselves out, don't we?

It's so boring!

How do you think I feel?

It's the first time I've ever
had to be a grown-up.

Horrible.
I suggest you leave now

before I change my mind.

- How long before you crack?
- Three seconds.

- Three seconds
isn't long enough.

You're being very strict.

- One second.
- Alright! I'm gone.

Very strict. Go on, run.

[ Sighs ]

[ Knock on window ]
Jamie: Sara!

Sara, I'm not going.
I'm not going.

Okay?
I know you can hear me.

You cannot make me sit
in a confined space

with that perverted hound!
[ Dog howling ]

[ Up-tempo music plays ]

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