All language subtitles for Alfred.Hitchcock.Presents.S04E22.The.Right.Price.1080p.PCOK.WEBRip.AAC.2.0.H.265.-EDGE2020_track3_[eng]

*

*

Good evening,
fellow creatures.

I've been working as
an aeronautical engineer.

I'm developing
safety devices.

(airplane flying overhead)

(crash and explosion)

Well, it was better
than the last time.

For a moment, I thought
I was out of a job.

Tonight's drama is
called "The Right Price."

For those purists
who like to see

the connection between
my part of the program

and the story,
here it is.

*

(adding machine clicking)

$705 is my
share of the net.

Did you hear?

$705 for me.

$505.

My figures
are correct.

I suppose you think
I'm trying to cheat you

out of $200.

I wouldn't put
it past you.

Let me see that!

You've got a seven
instead of a three

in the second column!

Seven instead of three.

Oh, you're a real
lightning calculator,

you are!

I was out of my mind
to become your partner!

You wanted to
buy in, I accepted.

Business is business.

And you've robbed me
blind since the first day!

Say that in
front of a witness

and I'll haul you
into court for slander!

Get your friends,
if you have any,

and I'll tell them!

Any time you want to
dissolve the partnership...

Oh, sure, now that
we're finally showing

a profit at last,
thanks to me.

Thanks to you, my foot!

When I think of that
$1,000 you loaned me...

When nobody else would!

At 10 percent interest.

Not even a loan shark
would make me pay

through the nose
the way you did!

Every company in town
slammed the door

in your face.

You came to me.

You begged and
touched my heart.

Heart!

You mean that adding
machine under your ribs?

Oh, shut up!

I'm too tired to argue.

I'm going to bed.

*

You and your success!

And I believed you
when you proposed to me.

And I thought I was
marrying a woman,

instead of a Comptometer.

Lucky for you,
my first husband

had a genius
for business.

You mean lucky for him,
he had a genius for

sitting by open windows,
or he'd still be married

to you instead
of being dead.

Turn off the light.

I want to read.

Fake!

And you're just a sweet
violet born to blush unseen.

You'll never get
a cent of my money.

Did you hear?

Not one cent!

*

Yes, dear,
I heard you.

*

Not a cent.

*

Good night,
Fort Knox.

*

(snoring)

(crashing sound)

Jocelyn?

*

Jocelyn, wake up.

*

I think I hear
somebody downstairs.

*

Jocelyn, wake up.

*

Jocelyn.

(snoring continues)

(groans)

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

Move an inch and boom.

Take a seat, pal.

What?

Go ahead,
take a seat.

I--I don't feel
like sitting down

at the moment,
if you don't mind.

Oh, that's all
right, I'm easy.

Can't you steal what you
want and get out of here?

Oh, I'm in
no hurry, pal.

Well, I'm cold
and I'm sleepy.

Go ahead,
rob me and get out.

First, I want to ask
you some questions.

What questions?

You're a businessman,
ain't you?

I most certainly am.

Then you know how important
it is to do things workmanlike.

For instance,
where do you keep

the sterling silver?

In the dining room.

Lead the way, pal.

*

*

*

Junk.

Anything else?

Over here.

*

Nah, it's too heavy.

Can't you take
what you want and go?

I'll get it later.

Let's you
and I sit down.

You're certainly a great
one for sitting down.

Well, my feet hurt.

I do a lot of
traveling, you know.

Hey, you don't
seem upset,

me robbing you.

-We're insured.
-Oh.

Well, that makes it
nice for all of us.

Can't talk business
on these chairs.

How do you eat off them?

They're so hard.

I keep telling
my wife that.

Hey, let's you and me
go in the living room,

light a light and
have a little chat.

I don't feel
like a chat.

Lead the way, pal,
if you don't want

to get hurt.

You give a lot of
orders, don't you?

*

Now, light the lamp.

*

Ah, glad to make your
acquaintance, Mister...

Mort Bonner.

I'm in women's apparel.

Who are you?

Just call me "The Cat."

I read that
once in a story.

"Call me 'The Cat,'"
the handsome burglar said.

(chuckles)

What do you want
to talk about?

A deal.

What kind?

A good deal for you,
a good deal for me.

I'm never
opposed to a deal,

if it's fair.

Well, all you have
to do is help me

with a good haul here,
and we collect a bundle

from the insurance company.

You're a businessman, ain't you?

Highly successful.

Well, then we can
do business like

it's done all the time.

Honestly?

No, not honestly.

I robbed a guy's house
one night in Flushing,

a real show place,
and he reported

$5,000 more than I heisted.

Did he collect?

One-hundred
percent successful

for both parties
concerned.

(phone rings)

Hello?

Who?

Oh, Mrs. Robinson.

No, there's
nothing wrong.

I just couldn't sleep,
one of those nights.

Insomnia.

Well, thank
you very much.

Good night.

One of the neighbors
saw the lights,

got worried.

We don't usually
stay up this late.

Hey, you got any
smokes around?

The finest.

If you'd like a snack,
we had roast beef for dinner.

Never eat this
late at night.

Bad for the digestion.

Well, that's sensible.

You said a deal?

Yeah.

Take if off
your income tax.

Robbery.

Say, is this
worth anything?

No, a wedding present.

Hideous.

Is this real crystal?

I wish it was,
it's just glass.

My cousin Selma
gave that to us.

What have you
got of value?

I don't want to drag
a lot of junk out of here.

The fencers ain't
what they used to be.

Hey, you help me out,
I'll help you out.

Is it a deal?

Well, generally
speaking, yes.

But until we
discuss specifics,

it depends on what
merchandise you take

and how I can
legitimately

chalk it up
as a loss.

You were right about
the spoons and stuff.

-Junk.
-Yeah.

We got that bunch of silver
15 years ago as a wedding gift

from her family.

Terrible.

Sure is.

Same thing happens to me.

You take my wife's
sister, Bessie.

She's--say, have you got
any cash in the house?

$50, at the most.

Peanuts.

My wife's fur coat.

Mink?

Cost $4,000.

Now, we're
getting somewheres.

No, she put it in
storage last week.

What about jewelry?

No, she doesn't
like good stuff,

just the flashy cheap
kind that has no value.

How did you even
marry somebody like her?

We all make mistakes.

Mort?

Mort!

Yes, dear?

Who are you talking
to at this hour?

Nobody.

Nobody at all.

Well, you
woke me up!

I put on
the radio,

late news.

Well, what
are you doing?

Doing?

I was hungry.

Well, don't eat
all the roast beef.

I want it for
hash tomorrow.

Go back to sleep.

And don't make
a pig of yourself!

Go back to sleep,
I'll be right up.

Now, let's get
back to business.

Wait a minute.

I want to make sure
she's gone back to bed.

(door shuts)

How am I going to
make a deal with you

when all you
got is junk?

Let me think.

The only money we have is
in the checking account.

No good.

I wouldn't
stop payment.

If you was me,
would you take a check?

Not without proper
identification.

Then I guess
there's no deal, huh?

Wait a minute.

How about a check that
would have to be good?

What do you mean?

Suppose I arranged it
so it would be impossible

for me to stop the check
without getting myself

in a real jam?

How?

Give me the
proposition.

You may not
be interested,

of course.

I'd need a real pro.

Oh, I've done more than
second-story a house.

I've been breaking and entering
since I was a juvenile.

Got four counts against me,
did a year at Leavenworth.

I need somebody
with more...

more scope.

Well, I've done
a lot of things.

What kind of things?

Worked the
numbers in Jersey.

Pulled a couple of
heists on the Parkway.

I was thinking of
someone who carries a gun.

What does
this look like,

a fountain pen?

I'd want it used.

Oh, you mean...

Oh, well,
I don't like to brag,

but there's a few unsolved
jobs in the Middle West.

Yeah, I put a couple of
guys away in my lifetime.

Then, we've
got us a deal.

Who do you
want me to kill?

*

I assure you,
if there were any

other way of getting
my wife to behave like

a human being,
I wouldn't be

suggesting such
an extreme method.

No one knows
better than me

how stubborn
a woman can be.

Do you?

As a matter of fact,
I can honestly say

I never could
understand a woman.

They can be puzzling.

For instance,
look at us now,

warm and cozy.

And this night snack,

this roast beef
just hits the spot.

Will you have
another sandwich?

No, thank you.

That's what I mean.

You know, my wife
would never fix me

so much as a toasted
cheese sandwich

after I'd get back
from a long job.

Stubborn
and ungrateful,

she was.

I didn't ask
her for much,

just a toasted
cheese sandwich.

But not her.

"Make it yourself,"
she'd say.

And me after
a hard night's work,

my feet hurting.

Sometime I'd be
real tired, you know,

from climbing
over walls.

Sometime a dog
would chase me.

All I needed was
a little bite to eat,

you know,
when I got home.

But would she
make me a snack?

Not a chance.

How did you ever get
into this line of work?

I suppose
I'm a nighthawk.

There must be other ways
of earning a living besides...

Other jobs get
monotonous after a time,

but with me,
every locked door

is an invitation
to danger,

every cop in
the beat's an enemy.

It's the line of work to
keep a man feeling young.

One night I make
just a few bucks,

the next night,
I might latch on

to a diamond ring
worth a fortune.

It's the uncertainty
of being a burglar

that makes the job worthwhile.

I didn't mean to talk
too much about myself.

Well, are you going
to accept my offer?

I never knocked
off a dame.

Don't mix sentimentality
with business.

Women ain't
my specialty.

I assure you there's no
difference in technique

between killing
a man and a woman.

Give me a minute
to think it over.

How long do you need?

You've already had
a beer and a sandwich

since I first made
you the proposition.

We'll say for
a moment that I agree.

The bedroom's upstairs,
first door to the left.

She's not a very
heavy sleeper

from the way
she yelled down.

We were
talking too loud.

By now, she's
fast asleep.

It would be easy to walk in
and point a gun and boom.

Please, would you like
someone to tell you

how to run your business?

Shh!

I'm sorry.

A gun is too risky,
firin' a shot.

Besides, I never
take a chance on

a small job
of robbery.

How would you do it?

Well, I tried
strangling once.

That's a gamble.

I'll take your
word for it.

And knives
are too messy.

How about a pillow?

She sleeps on
a goose down pillow.

Good.

You don't get a lot
of yelling and screaming.

Fine.

Then you hit me
over the head,

take a few things for
whatever they're worth.

Yeah, but you haven't
set a price yet.

Make me an offer.

No.

It's your wife.

Just a second.

How about $1,000?

Are you kidding?

I can't afford any more.

That's an insult.

All right, I'll get
somebody else at my price.

He'll botch it up.

Messy.

Make it $2,000.

After all, I'm making
it easy for you.

I deserve some
kind of discount.

Oh, well, if you're looking
for a basement bargain.

What's your price?

Five grand.

You can't be serious!

I gotta live, too.

Have you bought
food lately?

Inflation, world
situation's shaky,

and taxes--you know what
I paid last year in taxes?

-You pay taxes?
-Sure.

You think I want
Washington on my neck?

$3,500, take
it or leave it.

-I'll take it.
-It's a deal.

(doorbell)

Stay where you are.

Put that gun away.

Why, hello, Joe.

Oh, I saw a light
and wondered,

you and your missus don't
usually stay up this late.

A business friend of mine
is discussing a deal with me.

A very big deal.

Oh!

I guess time
isn't important

when you come to
discussing high finances.

Sometimes, we don't reach
a decision for hours.

You know, lately
I've been wishing

I had been a businessman
instead of a cop.

Hey, you don't
know the worries,

the headaches.

Well, I'd be
willing to have them,

and be sure of
a nice fat bank book.

You know what
I've got to show

for walking that
beat out there?

One uniform
and a gold watch.

But, Joe, what would men
like me do without men

like you to protect us?

Oh, I just--

Look, Joe,
any other time

I'd be very happy
to talk to you.

Oh, I'm sorry
I butted in.

No, you were just
doing your duty.

You know, there's been
a lot of burglaries

around the neighborhood lately.

Uh-huh?

But, don't worry,
I'll catch him.

He'd have to be pretty smart
to get away from you, Joe.

Well thanks,
Mr. Bonner.

Well, I guess
I better be going.

And I'll be
stopping by

the precinct to
tell the captain

what a fine
job you're doing.

Well, thanks a lot.

Well, good night.

Good night.

Oh, how's the wife?

As usual.

Well, that's fine.

I hope her
health continues.

Thanks.

Good night, Joe.

Good night, sir.

I'm glad he called,
it will make me look

even more innocent.

Ready?

Coming with me?

Better not.

I'll wait down here.

Okay.

*

Good luck.

*

(snoring)

*

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*

*

*

*

*

What's happened?

It's done.

It was easy.

Are you sure?

Look for yourself.

Jocelyn?

*

*

It's done, ma'am.

The cheapskate,
offering you only $3,500.

I'm sure glad you and I
talked about this first.

So am I.

*

Make it out to
"cash," $5,000.

*

I think the lesson
that story teaches is,

if you want a job
done properly,

do it yourself.

Naturally, Jocelyn and
the burglar were caught.

Personally,
I don't see

anything shocking
about a person

being paid to commit murder.

I do it every week.

But now,
I must do

some more experimenting,
which will take exactly,

I think,
one minute.

Persons less
tolerant than I

might refer to
that commercial

as a "hard sell."

However, the "sell" I think
of in connection with that

is a padded one.

I believe I have
at last designed

the perfect flying machine.

As you see, it has its
production problems.

It still has
some bugs in it,

and the workers
on our assembly line

are going to look rather odd
sitting on all those eggs,

but I'm optimistic.

Now, I wish to thank all
of you for your indulgence.

Next week,
I shall be back

with more of the same.

Until then,
good night.