All language subtitles for Alfred.Hitchcock.Presents.S04E21.Relative.Value.1080p.PCOK.WEBRip.AAC.2.0.H.265.-EDGE2020_track3_[eng]

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*

Good evening.

This began when someone asked me

if I wanted to go into
the advertising business.

I always imagined it had
more dignity than this.

Of course, the term "sandwich
boards" intrigued me too.

Little did I know that

I would serve as
the, uh, bologna.

As for bologna, more
of that in a moment.

The possibilities of this type
of advertising are limitless.

I understand they are
putting advertising

on the inside of
reading glasses.

This is excellent for people

who frequently
stare off in space.

I know I shall like it, because
now I can sit down with a book

without having the feeling
I am wasting my time.

Tonight's story is
called "Relative Value."

But first, some of that meat
I mentioned a little earlier.

*

A hundred pounds?

It's out of the question.

And I'm astonished that you're
having the nerve to ask for it,

on top of this.

John, don't you realize

that your signing my name
to a check is forgery?

You needn't blame me for that.

I wouldn't have done it
if I'd had any alternative.

Alternative, my dear boy?

There are plenty
of alternatives.

Settle down to a steady job,

give up this racecourse
and nightclub existence

if you really want
an alternative.

(knocking)

Come in.

Oh, good evening, Mr. John.

Evening, Betts.

I brought your warm milk, sir.

Oh, Mr. John, there's
some cold lamb

and a bit of that
Stilton you like, sir.

That was thoughtful
of you, Betts,

but I'm just
leaving, I'm afraid.

Oh, then I expect we shan't
be seeing you for a bit.

Mrs. Betts and I are going
on our holiday soon.

Margate as usual?

Yes, sir.

Well, that sounds jolly.

When do you leave?

On Thursday.

Well, who's going to look after
my cousin while you're gone?

Oh, Mrs. Simpson of the village

is going to come
in by the day, sir.

I see.

Well, have a good time.

Thank you, sir.

I'm sure we will.

Is there anything else, sir?

No, thank you, Betts.

You can turn in now.

Goodnight, sir.

Goodnight, Mr. John.

Goodnight, Betts.

Well, I've just got time
to get the last train.

Might as well get
back to London.

Might as well have stayed in
London, for all your generosity.

Why won't you realize

it isn't a matter of
generosity or otherwise?

I simply haven't got the money.

Oh, don't tell me that, Felix.

I saw Uncle John's will.

Yes, you saw the will,

but you didn't see the list
of debts that went with it.

Well, perhaps you'll realize,
when it all comes to you,

how little is left.

That won't be long
now, I expect.

That doesn't work any
longer, either, you know.

Trying to play on my sympathy
by telling me how ill you are.

You're as well as I am, and
you'll probably outlive me.

You seem determined not
to believe a word I say.

Well, I suppose it's useless
trying to convince you.

Yes, it is.

I see.

Very well.

Listen to me, John.

If there is another check
like this, another forgery,

I shall have to prosecute.

Do you understand?

Yes, I understand.

I'm sorry, but you
give me no choice.

Good night, Felix.

*

*

(frogs ribbeting)

*

(whistling)

*

*

*

(cars beeping)

(knocking)

Hello, Benny.

Mr. Manbridge!

What a nice surprise.

Well, I was just on my
way to the city, Benny,

and I thought I'd drop in.

Oh, splendid.

Would you like a cuppa?

Um, no, thank you.

Benny, what are the
odds on Lady Jane

at the 4:15 at Sandown?

Oh, they're very
good on her, sir.

I can give you four to one.

Well, I'm afraid that's
not quite good enough.

Well, perhaps there's
something else you fancy.

How about Misty Moon
in the fourth?

I can give you a very
good price on him.

Yeah, well, I'm not surprised.

He ran wide last time out.

Well, if you change your mind,
you can always ring me up.

Yes.

Benny, that...

that check of my cousin's
I gave you yesterday,

you've put it
through, I suppose?

That's right.

That's what you said, if
I didn't hear from you.

Mmm.

Well, you'll know by Thursday
if it bounces, won't you?

I'll know tomorrow, sir.

Nothing wrong with it, is there?

Of course not.

The other one was
all right, wasn't it?

Yes.

I'd not have taken this
one if it hadn't been.

You can be sure of that.

I must say, you, you bookmakers
are a very suspicious breed.

We've been made so.

Goodbye, Benny.

Goodbye, sir.

*

(indistinct conversations)

Hello, Tom.

Good evening, sir.

Thanks, Bert.

Thanks a lot.

I'll have a small
whiskey, please, Tom.

Right-o, sir.

(indistinct chatter)

Last orders, gentlemen, please.

-There you are, sir.
-Thank you.

Oh, by the way, Tom,
you didn't happen to find

a small brown paper parcel about
the size of a shoebox, did you?

No, sir, not that I can recall.

Oh, it was just a little
present for my cousin.

You know Felix
Manbridge, I believe.

Oh, yes, sir.

I'm sure you didn't
leave it here, sir,

but I'll ask the missus
tomorrow to be certain,

but I know if she'd found
it, she'd have let me know.

Well, of course she would.

Here, drink up,
please, gentlemen.

Time, please, time.

Good Lord, is that clock right?

Yes, sir.

Felix will be wondering
what's become of me.

It will take me, what,

three quarters of an hour
to walk to his house?

Oh, yes, all of that, sir.

Well, I better be on my way.

All right, come on,
gentlemen, hurry up now.

-Goodnight.
-Goodnight, sir.

Come on, now.

Drink up, now.

Glasses here.

That's it.

(crickets chirping)

*

*

*

*

*

*

(water splashing)

*

*

(knocking)

*

(crickets chirping)

So that we can say to those of
you who have written to ask us,

life insurance is the
application of insurance

to loss or injury
caused by death.

A contract under which one
party, called the insurer,

in consideration of certain
stipulated payments

termed premiums,
agrees to pay to another

a moneyed benefit upon the
happening of a contingency

dependent on the
duration of a human life.

The person whose life is the
subject of the contingency

is termed the insured,

and the party receiving the
benefit, the beneficiary,

while the benefit itself is
called the insurance money.

In practice, the contingency
involved is either the death

or the continued
survival of the insured.

The life or mortality table

from which the premiums
must be determined,

is at the foundation
of the business.

Such a table, in
its simplest form,

consists of the number
surviving at each age,

from which the
number of deaths

and probability of mortality
are readily determined.

The three requisites of such
tables, for insurance purposes,

are that they should be
safe, properly graduated

and fairly comparable to
the mortality to be expected.

The premiums for life
insurance are computed

from the risk of death, as
shown by the mortality table.

And since the former
are usually fixed sums,

while the risk
increases with age,

it is necessary to charge
more than the actual cost

in the early years, in order
to offset the deficiency.

*

*

*

*

(paper rustling)

*

*

*

*

(thumping)

*

(books crashing)

*

(frogs ribbeting)

*

*

(whistling)

*

*

(knocking)

*

Felix, are you there?

*

(whistling)

*

Felix, are you there?

What's going on here?

Who is it?

It's the police, sir.

Oh, Mr. Manbridge.

What seems to be
the trouble, sir?

Constable, I'm glad you're here.

My cousin asked me
down for the weekend.

I just walked up from
the, from the station.

I can't seem to be able
to make him hear me.

*

I can't understand it.

I know he's expecting me.

*

You wait here, sir.

I'll take a look around.

*

*

*

(crickets chirping)

*

*

*

*

You'd better come in, sir.

(crickets chirping)

Is anything wrong?

Yes, sir, I'm afraid there is.

What is it, man?

For Heaven's sake, tell me.

Well, is he--

Yes, sir, he's dead.

How did it happen?

I don't know, sir.

It's a queer business.

Look at this room.

But, I mean, what
happened to him?

Well, that remains
to be seen, sir.

He seems to have
been dealt a blow.

Maybe he smashed himself
on the fender over here.

But it's queer because, you see,
I found this note over here.

(paper rustling)

"I, Felix Edward Manbridge,
being of sound mind,

solemnly declare that I
am dying by my own act."

*

"I have taken poison and--"

*

Well, sir, this was
my first day here,

and I didn't know Mr. Manbridge
too well, you understand,

but as far as I could tell,
everything was normal-like.

Mmm-hmm.

And you saw nothing peculiar
about his behavior?

No.

Nothing out of the way, sir.

And you left about 8:30 you say.

-That's right, sir.
-Uh-huh.

Well, you can run along
now, Mrs. Simpson.

I'm sorry we had to
bring you out so late

and thank you for
being so helpful.

Oh, not at all, sir.

I'm glad to be of any help.

Mmm-hmm.

-Longdon?
-Yes, sir?

You will see Mrs. Simpson
safely home, won't you?

Yes, sir.

Oh, no, that ain't necessary.

Thank you very much, I'm sure.

I'll just nip out the back way.

It's only a step to my house.

Goodnight, sir.

Goodnight, Mrs. Simpson.

What about Mr. Manbridge, sir?

Mr. John Manbridge?

Where is he now?

Outside in the entry hall.

We'll let him stay where
he is for the moment.

(knocking)

Come in.

Well, how about it?

Well, it was just
as he said, sir.

Both the ticket
collector at the station

and Mr. Crocket at
the Four Feathers

both remember seeing
him quite clearly.

He was asking about a parcel,

and he left the Four Feathers
with just time to reach

the bridge where Longdon here
saw him lighting his pipe,

and it was him, all right.

Oh, here's the match
ends that I found, sir,

and they're those
little wax kind.

They're not very
common hereabouts.

Oh, yes.

And he had a box of
them in his pocket.

Well, that seems to give
him an alibi, doesn't it?

But, it still looks

very odd to me.

What does, sir?

Well, look about you.

We're supposed to
believe that a burglar

or some other mysterious
intruder was here.

That Felix Manbridge
surprised him,

and in the ensuing struggle

this mysterious visitor
killed him with a poker.

Let's try something, hmm?

We don't, at the moment,
have the poker, of course,

but these will do.

Now, Sergeant, we'll
make you the intruder

because you're the taller.

That'll give you every chance.

Thank you, sir.

Longdon.

Yes, sir.

Turn around, remove your helmet.

Now, Manbridge was
killed by a blow

delivered from above and behind.

Very well, go
ahead and struggle,

and see if you can possibly
deliver that kind of a blow.

My helmet.

Oh, come on, boys, come on.

You can do better than that.

(grunting)

Longdon, Longdon!

Yes, sir.

Well don't make it
too difficult for him.

Longdon.

I just don't think
it can be done, sir.

I agree with you, Sergeant.

I agree with you entirely.

Now, Longdon, sit down
in that chair, will you?

-Yes, sir.
-Mmm-hmm.

Now, Sergeant, could
you come over here?

Over there.

That way.

That's right, there.

Now, how about that?

Yes, sir.

That would do it.

You mean, he was sitting there
like that when he was struck?

He was already dead.

I'm convinced of it.

Yes, but who would
do such a thing?

Only someone who
thought he was asleep,

had already made careful
plans to kill him,

including a careful alibi.

Mr. John Manbridge.

But how could it
have been him, sir,

when he didn't even
get here until I did?

When I was the one
that let him in?

Well, I don't know,
but he did somehow,

because he had this
letter in his pocket.

It's from his cousin.

It's addressed to him.

It was sealed but not stamped,

so he couldn't have
got it in the mail,

but it is dated today.

Which means that he must have
been here at least six or seven

minutes before you
saw him light his pipe.

What's in the letter, sir?

For one thing, he says
his doctors told him

he has no more than
three months to live.

He has no wish to prolong
his existence in this world

and is hastening on to the next.

He's leaving his life insurance
and all his worldly possessions

to his sole surviving
relative, his cousin, John,

and he mentions a forged check,

which he has told
his bank to honor.

(knocking)

That'll be the
coroner's men, I expect.

Mmm-hmm.

Sir, you don't
think Mr. Manbridge

might have got in quite
innocently somehow,

before I saw him, and
found his cousin dead

and found the letter,

and not mentioned it because
it might look bad for him?

I don't think there's
a chance of it.

He meant to kill his
cousin, all right,

whether we can ever
prove it or not.

Well, sir, I don't rightly know

what'll be done
about it officially,

but I certainly feel a lot
easier in my own mind.

I can tell you, when I
finished with the telephone

and turned to find Mr. John
Manbridge dead in the armchair--

Fancy my giving him a
glass of the same whiskey

his cousin had
put the poison in.

I was only trying to revive him.

*

Might call it an act of
God, mightn't you, sir?

Yes, Longdon,

you might call it just that.

*

That is the fate
of anyone so callous

as to kill a man
who's already dead.

I wouldn't care if
Felix had been living,

but to strike a
defenseless corpse

is simply not my
idea of fair play.

Speaking of fair play,

I'm afraid it's my
beloved sponsor's turn,

but he assures me that I
shall have the last word.

On that note of triumph,

we conclude this
evening's activities.

Next week, we shall
have another story,

and, of course,

more advertisements.

I almost forgot to tell you.

I finally leased the advertising
space on my backboard

to my insurance agent.

Goodnight.