All language subtitles for Alfred.Hitchcock.Presents.S04E04.The.Crooked.Road.1080p.PCOK.WEBRip.AAC.2.0.H.265.-EDGE2020_track3_[eng]

*

*

Oh, good evening.

I don't know
what this means.

They won't tell me
why I've been arrested.

They keep saying,
"Your turn will come."

I don't like
the sound of it.

But, Officers,
I didn't do a thing.

Okay, you,
it's your turn now.

Mr. Hitchcock,

I understand your category
is television commercials.

Oh, then I wasn't arrested.

Don't be absurd.

Now, for your first question.

We shall play
the soundtrack

from a well-known commercial.

After hearing the sound,

tell us what the person in
the commercial has just eaten,

drunk, smoked,
used or driven in.

(uncomfortable groan)

Is that all?

May I hear it again, please?

Very well.

(uncomfortable groan)

I have it.

The answer is...

*

*

*

There's a police car.

Mmm-hmm.

Don't worry,
we couldn't be more legal

if we got out and walked.

We're doing exactly 50.

I guess you're right.

Not that we can
afford to be wrong.

They must expect
us to pass them.

Are you going to?

No reason why we shouldn't.

They're going exactly
48 miles an hour.

If we don't pass them now,
we'll have to follow them

all the way to Robertsville.

How far is that?

About 10 miles.

Well, here goes.

(honks horn)

(engine revs)

We're still legal, aren't we?

At 50 miles an hour?

Legal as lemonade.

(police siren)

Well, they can't be after us.

Well, can they?

Well, they probably
got a radio call.

We'll soon find out.

-Are you all right?
-Yes.

(police dispatch chatter)

That was deliberate.

Harry.

Harry, don't.

Long way from home,
aren't you, mister?

You going somewhere
special in a hurry?

I thought for a minute
I was going to the morgue.

What did you do that for?

Well, you were driving
kind of crazy-like.

Let me have your license
and your registration.

Now, wait just a minute.

I asked you a question
I was entitled to ask.

Why did you force me
off the road like that?

Just one more time, mister.

Your license and
your registration.

Come on, come on.

I ain't got all day.

Harry, please do as he says.

Now, move it along, mister.

What's the matter,
you got something to hide?

Well, Henry Sanford Adams.

Tell me, Mr. Adams,

what is the speed limit
back in New York

where you come from?

It's 50 miles an hour
on most state roads.

When it varies,
the information is posted.

The point is, I wasn't
breaking any law here.

Is that so?

Very interesting.

You, uh...

(motor humming)

...trying to make up the
rules for us country folks?

No, sir, I'm not.

I haven't suggested I'm trying.

Then suppose you tell me

what you think the speed
limit is around here.

Fifty miles an hour.

Mister, you are so right.

Now, you let me tell you that
you was doing 57 miles an hour

when you passed us
on that road back there.

Well, of course,
but I had no choice.

Now, just a minute.

Just a minute.

Let's get first
things straight.

It don't look right for
a man to pass a police car

faster than the
law allows, right?

Bold as brass,
just like you was

holding your thumb
up to your nose.

That's not true.

It's not?

No.

I had to speed up to pass you,

but I wasn't traveling
over the speed limit

when you blew that siren.

I couldn't believe
it was meant for me.

Well, I'm not just gonna
answer them remarks at all.

You just get
that car started up

and follow us into town.

Officer, please.

We don't want to
quarrel with you,

but we were driving
so carefully.

And we were safely within the
speed limit when you stopped us.

Ma'am, there's no
one talking to you.

Absolutely no one at all.

Now out here, the
ladies let the menfolk

say what has to be said.

Nobody talking
to you at all.

Look, I don't care if
you've got six badges...

Sit there and
do as you're told.

Start up that car,
follow us into town.

How can I start the car?

I don't have the keys.

Well, you got them now.

Come on, Anton.

(engine turns over)

(police dispatch chatter)

Well, I guess we've had it.

Looks like you got yourself
in quite a mess, mister.

Lieutenant Hogan, calling.

Come in.

Lieutenant Hogan, calling.

What are we gonna do, Harry?

Can you fix it?

I'll have to put the spare on,

take the wheel off.

Possibly, the officer
will help me.

You being cute?

That wheel is gone.

The bearing is shot.

You won't be able
to put on no spare.

You'll have to let me and my
partner ride you into town.

You and your partner?

Look, don't you think
you've done enough

forcing me off the road?

Oh, this is nice.

This is just dandy.

This is where the
balloon goes up, mister.

Are you trying to say
that we forced you

off this road illegally?

Harry, please.

We have to be on our way.

Let's not make
things any worse.

Now, say it,
mister, say it now,

what are the charges?

All right, I'm not
making any charges.

I do say that grease cap
looks just fine to me

and I don't think
the bearing is useless.

I can put on the spare and
I intend to do just that.

Hold it, bright boy.

I tell you now,
for the last time,

that car is a
hazard on the road.

The bearing is gone.

It'll have to be
towed into town.

And I say that isn't true.

What's more,
you know it isn't true.

Harry, please.

Can't you see what he's
trying to make you do?

Oh.

Come on, now.

Come on.

Well, looks like
you folks are in luck.

Just the man you need,
Mr. Charlie Brown.

In luck, huh?

Hi, Charlie.

Howdy.

Hi.

Looks like you're
having a little trouble.

Anything I can do
to help you folks?

Oh, I was just telling them,
Charlie, how lucky they were

that you come
along right now.

See, they need a towing job
real bad, isn't that right?

Let's let him decide, shall--

Patrol car number six,

proceed to Kingston Road

at Route 14.

Ashley's Shopping Center.

Repeating,
patrol car number six,

proceed to Kingston Road

at Route 14.

Ashley's Shopping Center.

A police radio in the truck?

Isn't that illegal?

Or is that just another
one of the little services

you people are for?

Hold it, mister.

You don't go no further.

Charlie, I think you
ought to take a look

at that right front wheel.

He done a real sweet job.

Mmm, mmm-mmm.

(clicks tongue)

You can put the
spare on, can't you?

The spare?

Charlie, I told the man
that the bearing was ruined.

But, see, he wants to
hear it official-like.

He's a real big brain
from New York.

Well, that bearing's shot.

There ain't nothing much
you can do about it.

I'm sorry about
you folks' bad luck,

but afraid I'll just have
to tow you back in town.

Uh-huh.

How much will that cost?

Cost?

Well, now, that is
a consideration, ain't it?

Like I said, I hate to see
you folks having any bad luck.

How much?

He's the impatient
type, Charlie.

Very impatient.

Give the man a price.

Well, to begin with,
there is the towing charge.

Now, that's a standard thing,
that's five dollars a mile.

You're lucky there, 'cause it's
only nine miles back to town.

What I mean to say is,
it could've been worse.

I'll only charge you about five
dollars for my trip out here

and then, oh,
$10 for that bearing.

Give or take a few dollars,
shouldn't cost you more than

60 bucks.

And you think I'm lucky?

Don't you?

I think you're a crook.

I think you're in
business with him.

Say that again.

Harry.

Harry, don't do what
they want you to do.

I asked you to
repeat that, mister.

I asked you
to say that again.

All right, I'll repeat it.

I think you're
in business together.

You and this
mechanized bandit

you contacted by radio.

Why shouldn't I say it?

Harry!

You see him try
to resist arrest?

I was here all
the time, wasn't I?

I seen the whole thing.

*

*

(bell rings)

What's that,
the Liberty Bell?

Could be.

Justice never sleeps in
Robertsville, you know.

All right.

Afternoon, Pete.

Howdy, Judge.

Yes?

Oh, uh...

only one defendant, Your Honor.

This one.

A kind of a wild one,
if I may say so, sir.

A real sharp fellow
from New York.

Your Honor, I'd like to--

You'll have your
chance to speak.

Yes, Officer?

"Subject,
Henry Sanford Adams."

That's him, Your Honor.

"Driving a 1958 convertible."

A beautiful job, Your Honor,
till he cracked it up.

(scoffs)

"Subject exceeded state speed
limit by seven miles per hour

at a point ten miles north
of the Robertsville town line

on Route 7.

Subject was apprehended by
Officers Andrew T. Bleeker

and Peter B. Chandler

after failing to heed
the warning siren.

Subject then--"

Your Honor, may I say--

Silence!

Go ahead, Officer.

"Subject damaged his vehicle

through reckless
handling of car,

after which
arresting officers

transported subject
and woman passenger

to Robertsville
for appearance

before Justice of the Peace,
Gerard Anthony Stanton,

at approximately 2:25 PM,

June 10th, 19..."

Well, that's about
it, Your Honor.

I see.

Well, that's too bad.

A nice new car, too.

It seems you could have saved
yourself a pack of trouble,

young man, if you'd stopped
when you first heard the siren.

I didn't think that siren
was for me, Your Honor,

because I was not
breaking the law,

no matter what he says!

Now, listen here, young man.

Besides which, we were
forced off the road

by that police car
and then victimized

by a towing truck

that suddenly and
magically appeared.

At those prices, I could
have had a battleship

towed up a dry creek!

(smacks gavel)

Silence.

You see what
I mean, Your Honor?

Smart boy.

Didn't I tell you
that bearing was busted?

I didn't need that
towing truck, Your Honor.

I could have taken
off that broken wheel

and put on the spare.

But I was prevented
by this officer.

Did I or did
I not tell you

that that bearing
was no good?

Yes!

You told me,
sure, you told me.

And your friend in the towing
truck said the same thing

because that was what
you wanted him to say.

The truth is, you didn't
take the wheel off to check,

so neither of you
could have known.

Oh!

Stop it, stop it!

Will you please
make him stop?

Officer Chandler.

Yes, sir?

I know you had
extreme provocation,

and I saw the threatening
gesture made by the defendant.

Even so, let him alone.

If he has any formal
charges to register,

I feel now is
the time for them

while we're in the
mood for hearing them.

Any more charges, sir?

I don't suppose
it would help much.

Why should I bother?

I suspect it's time to get
down to business, Mr. Adams.

First of all, you are charged
with driving a motor vehicle

at 57 miles an hour
in a 50-mile zone.

How do you plead?

As I've been trying
to explain, Your Honor,

I was obliged to speed up

in order to pass
the police car,

which was blocking the road.

I'm sure I did so justifiably

and under extenuating
circumstances.

Mr. Adams, how do you plead?

Under the circumstances I've
outlined, I plead not guilty.

I see.

Well, you're perfectly
in your rights, Mr. Adams.

In that case, a hearing
will be held in this courtroom

Friday morning at 10:00.

But, Your Honor...

I'm sure you
heard me correctly.

Officer Chandler, you
will be here at that time

with Officer Bleeker.

Yes, sir.

Now, Mr. Adams,

you will kindly post
a bail bond of $100

to be held by this court
pending your appearance.

If you are prepared to
post this bond at this time,

you are free to go
until Friday at 10:00.

That's impossible, Your Honor.

I'll be 700 or 800 miles
away from here by then.

Oh, will you?

Not without posting your
bail bond, Mr. Adams.

No, indeed.

I guarantee
you'll be right here

with us in our modern,
comfortable jail.

But why can't
I get a hearing now?

All contested traffic
cases are heard

Friday morning at 10:00.

Reconsidering, and from a more
practical point of view,

how would you
choose to plead?

(scoffs)

Well, I guess I plead guilty.

This is not a
guessing game, Mr. Adams.

How do you plead?

Guilty.

Well, I would say
that makes more sense

and is more in keeping
with our tradition here.

As a matter of fact,
our excellent officers

who patrol this section are
not very often contradicted.

Now, let me see.

Naturally, I fine you
five dollars a mile

for every mile
above the speed limit

to which you have confessed.

That would be exactly $35.

Oh, one moment, Mr. Adams.

Because of your
failure to stop instantly

when you heard the
arresting officers' siren,

and because
of the insolence

and lack of cooperation
you've shown here,

I'm assessing you
double court costs.

That will be $60.50,

in addition to
the $35 for speeding.

You may pay the court.

$60.50 for what court costs?

I can triple them, Mr. Adams,

if it will help
your understanding.

(scoffs)

Yes, I guess you could.

He getting smart
again, Your Honor.

Harry.

Harry, please pay the money
and let's get away from here.

Seventy, eighty,

ninety, ninety-five.

And 50 cents?

I trust you've learned
your lesson, young man.

I have indeed, Your Honor.

It's been a liberal education...

in more ways than one.

May we go?

Oh, by all means, Mr. Adams.

Can I give you folks a little
lift over to Charlie's place?

No thanks.

The condemned man always
walks the last mile.

That's very good.

You're the witty
type, aren't you?

Sure I am.

I laugh till it hurts.

Right now,
it hurts all over.

Hey, all in all,

you fellows must have had
a pretty good day, huh?

How's that?

Well, I understand that
under the local setup,

the Justice and the police are
entitled to keep half the fines,

isn't that right?

Mister, you're so right.

You're so exactly right.

You come back again and
see us sometime, you hear?

Let's go, Anton.

*

*

Well, it's all gassed up
and ready to go for you folks.

May I have the bill?

The bill.

Yeah, I got it right here.

I'll be glad to get
this thing finished

and send you nice
folks on your way.

Now, like I told you,

it was five dollars
for me coming out there

to get you nice folks.

Then there was the
towing charge of $45.

I'm only going to charge
you $10 for that bearing.

Well, it's a big heavy car,

so, naturally,
it takes a big bearing.

It's natural.

I mean, it ain't
like replacing

just a little old
piece of buckshot.

No, I guess not.

Yeah.

Now, there's my labor.

I'm only charging
you $10 for that.

And the gas and oil and...

Well, the whole thing
comes to $75.40.

Let's just call it $75 even.

No sense in anybody being a hog.

This is yours.

Thanks.

Fifty, sixty, seventy.

Five?

Five.

And 40 cents, you said?

Like I said, neighbor,

let's just forget
the 40 cents.

Oh, no, Charlie.

We don't want to
forget the 40 cents.

Anything else I can
do for you nice folks?

No, I don't think so, Charlie.

You've been real sweet.

Tell me, uh...

when are you going to call
up Pete and his partner

on that radio hook-up you've
got in the truck out there?

Can't say as I know what
you're getting at, friend.

Well, I thought
if you call them up,

they might bring that
larcenous old windbag

of a justice
on down with them,

and the four of you could
sit down and cut up the loot.

I can't say I like
your attitude.

I don't like it at all.

Watch him, Harry.

Now, why don't you
get on back in your car

and get out of my garage?

Go on before Pete
gets back here.

Harry, let's go, please.

(engine turns over)

*

*

Charming community, wasn't it?

One in a million.

Well, I guess we've had
enough, don't you think?

More than enough.

You'd better check and make
sure you've got everything.

I've seen minor
bits of larceny,

but never in the three years

I've been with
the Highway Commission

have I seen anything like this.

Well, it's an isolated case.

I don't think they'd believe
us back at the State House,

though, if we didn't
have it all on tape.

Long way from home,
aren't you, mister?

You going somewhere
special in a hurry?

*

Oh, I'm glad you came.

I'm very worried.

Things didn't go at all well.

They liked my first answer.

But after that, I'm afraid
I said some nasty things

about commercials.

It seemed to
infuriate the gentleman

asking the questions.

I'm still not
sure who he is--

Quiet!

Okay, it's your turn now.

Did you ever have the feeling
you'd been here before?

It's very close in here.

May I open a window?

No!

What's going on here,
and why can't I see you?

Here I am!

Look!

The sponsor!

What's that?

I smell gas.

Quiet!

Ladies and gentlemen,

we now offer
a special message,

after which, Mr. Hitchcock
will attempt to return.

I'll bet you're
surprised to see me.

I know I'm surprised to be here.

I received
a last-minute reprieve.

And I learned something
interesting about my sponsor.

He doesn't like
commercials either.

But the public demands them,

so what's he to do?

Next week, he will
offer three more

which promise
to be enormous,

popular successes.

Be the first one in your
neighborhood to see them.

There'll also be a story.

Until then, good night.

*

*

*

*

*