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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,087 --> 00:00:06,130 (SlNGlNG) The Simpsons 2 00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:07,507 (TlRES SCREECHlNG) 3 00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:10,510 D'oh ! 4 00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:12,595 (SCREAMlNG) (TlRES SCREECHlNG) 5 00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:16,349 (MlCROWAVE DlNGS) 6 00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:28,486 How's the ice cream, kids? 7 00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:29,570 BOTH: Great! 8 00:00:29,655 --> 00:00:30,988 Who's ready for a kitten? 9 00:00:31,073 --> 00:00:32,865 l am ! Make mine calico! 10 00:00:33,117 --> 00:00:34,117 Here you go. 11 00:00:34,243 --> 00:00:35,284 (MEWlNG) 12 00:00:35,828 --> 00:00:38,204 This whole morning has been wonderful. . . 13 00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:39,288 (KlTTEN PURRlNG) 14 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,457 Too wonderful. 15 00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:43,042 You're right. This is it! 16 00:00:43,127 --> 00:00:44,794 They're selling us to be crash test dummies. 17 00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,462 Oh, please let it be Volvo. 18 00:00:46,630 --> 00:00:49,799 Oh, you children are too suspicious. 19 00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:51,634 (QUlETLY) lt's go time. 20 00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:56,723 (CHUCKLlNG) 21 00:00:57,808 --> 00:00:59,726 lt's shot day! (ALL SHRlEKlNG) 22 00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:03,980 Welcome to Hell. . .man Avenue Medical Plaza. 23 00:01:04,273 --> 00:01:05,273 (WHlMPERlNG) 24 00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:08,526 Children, you should be grateful you live in a country 25 00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:11,320 where childhood diseases have been practically. . . 26 00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:13,030 Karate! Ow! 27 00:01:13,949 --> 00:01:15,324 (CHUCKLlNG) 28 00:01:16,452 --> 00:01:17,452 (GRUNTS) 29 00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:20,830 Bart! That hobo skeleton is not a toy! 30 00:01:20,998 --> 00:01:22,165 This is ridiculous. 31 00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:24,751 Only babies and ex-junkies are afraid of needles. 32 00:01:24,835 --> 00:01:26,502 Stick me, Chuckles! 33 00:01:27,963 --> 00:01:30,590 (WHlMPERlNG) Can l have a lollipop? 34 00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:34,677 Well, that just leaves Bart. 35 00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:35,970 Don't forget Maggie. 36 00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:38,890 Oh, l got her when your heads were turned. Got her good ! 37 00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:41,726 Now, Bart, just look out the window. 38 00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:43,436 lt'll take your mind off the pain. 39 00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:48,191 And when you're done, l've got more lollies. 40 00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:50,026 No, thanks. l already helped myself. 41 00:01:54,573 --> 00:01:56,657 See you later, inoculator. 42 00:01:57,534 --> 00:01:58,534 (CAR SPEEDlNG AWAY) 43 00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:01,662 He can run, but nobody escapes the needle. 44 00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:03,289 Charlene, cancel all my appointments. 45 00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:07,376 But, l need that kidney now. 46 00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:11,088 (SlNGlNG) One way or another I'm gonna find ya 47 00:02:11,173 --> 00:02:13,216 I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha 48 00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:17,136 One way or another I'm gonna win ya 49 00:02:17,221 --> 00:02:19,138 I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha 50 00:02:19,223 --> 00:02:23,142 One way or another I'm gonna see ya 51 00:02:23,227 --> 00:02:25,144 I'm gonna meetcha meetcha meetcha meetcha 52 00:02:25,229 --> 00:02:27,522 One day, maybe next week 53 00:02:27,606 --> 00:02:31,400 I'm gonna meetcha, I'm gonna meetcha l'll meetcha 54 00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,404 Black-on-black violence must end. 55 00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:38,407 That was for Dr. King. 56 00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:43,663 (CHUCKLlNG) 57 00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:46,332 Don't feel bad, Doc. l won't even let my mom clip my toenails. 58 00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:48,417 (LAUGHS MlSCHlEVOUSLY) 59 00:02:48,627 --> 00:02:51,337 BARNEY: l guess you're just too smart for me, Bart. 60 00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:52,505 What? 61 00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:55,550 Ha-ha! 62 00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:56,634 Huh? 63 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,179 (STRUGGLlNG) 64 00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:04,809 Thanks, Barney. Moe, we won't need you now. 65 00:03:05,769 --> 00:03:06,769 Oh. 66 00:03:07,271 --> 00:03:09,939 Okay. Well, l really enjoyed being you, Dr. Hibbert. 67 00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:13,568 Oh, by the way, you're not welcome in the library no more. 68 00:03:13,652 --> 00:03:14,861 l'm sorry. 69 00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:17,697 Now, that wasn't so bad, was it, Bart? 70 00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:19,699 You know sometimes the fear of. . . 71 00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:21,200 (STATlC CRACKLlNG) 72 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,578 Whoa. Something's wrong ! 73 00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:25,246 l can't hear! 74 00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:27,081 Doctor, perform a diagnosis! 75 00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:29,792 Hmm. . . 76 00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:34,213 l'm afraid the inoculation has swollen his ear holes shut. 77 00:03:34,298 --> 00:03:35,590 Maybe this would be a good time 78 00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:36,966 to talk about the side effects. 79 00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:39,468 The boy's hearing should clear up in a day. 80 00:03:39,595 --> 00:03:41,345 lf it doesn't, call me in the Bahamas. 81 00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:44,140 For now, he can express himself with this complimentary pen. 82 00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:45,641 Cool. 83 00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:47,727 Oh, it's a good pen. Try it out. 84 00:03:47,811 --> 00:03:48,811 All right. 85 00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:52,273 That was a malpractice waiver, fool ! 86 00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:54,025 (CHUCKLlNG) 87 00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:55,776 Ha-ha! 88 00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:07,288 (AlR HORN BLOWlNG) 89 00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:12,710 Stop it, Homer! 90 00:04:13,128 --> 00:04:14,128 Oh. . . 91 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:19,342 Gimme your wallet, kid ! We're gonna identity theft your ass. 92 00:04:19,885 --> 00:04:22,219 (STATlC CRACKLlNG) (lNAUDlBLE) 93 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:24,847 He's just standing his ground ! 94 00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:27,391 He knows that deep down, all bullies are cowards! 95 00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:28,517 We're undone! 96 00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:30,478 (ALL EXCLAlMlNG lN FEAR) 97 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:32,563 l know what you're hiding, lad. 98 00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:35,775 Willie's been deaf since the boiler explosion of '88. 99 00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:37,485 But l taught myself to read lips. 100 00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:38,945 Morning, Willie! 101 00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:40,321 What did you say about me mother? 102 00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:43,783 For your information, her feet stink 103 00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:46,327 because she works in manure all day! 104 00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:50,414 But it's still the best damn Starbucks in Glasgow! 105 00:04:52,376 --> 00:04:53,793 Bart, pass the ketchup. 106 00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:56,170 (YELLlNG) Bart, pass the ketchup! 107 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,630 Dad, he's deaf. 108 00:04:57,714 --> 00:04:59,048 Oh, sorry, right. 109 00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:01,467 Bart, pass the corn ! 110 00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:03,177 (YELLlNG) Bart, pass the corn ! 111 00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:04,261 (SlGHS) 112 00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:08,474 l think you should stay home from school tomorrow. 113 00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:11,602 But, Mom, tomorrow's the big donkey basketball game. 114 00:05:11,687 --> 00:05:13,562 The kids are gonna play the teachers! 115 00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:17,942 Donkey basketball? Now l've heard everything, unlike you ! 116 00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:19,026 (LAUGHlNG) 117 00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:21,988 Oh. . . 118 00:05:22,114 --> 00:05:24,156 Everyone remember that for when his hearing comes back. 119 00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:25,992 Swish ! 120 00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:29,537 (CROWD LAUGHlNG) 121 00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:36,627 WeIcome, everyone, to the AnnuaI Donkey Basketball Classic. 122 00:05:36,712 --> 00:05:39,588 l'm sure that "mule" enjoy it. 123 00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:43,926 Hmm. Tough crowd. 124 00:05:44,261 --> 00:05:46,220 WouId everyone just rise for our national anthem? 125 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,723 (BAND PLAYlNG NATlONAL ANTHEM) 126 00:05:56,148 --> 00:05:58,524 Hey, donkey, want a carrot? 127 00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,570 Psych ! (LAUGHS) 128 00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:16,375 Good Lord ! Bart's mooning the flag ! 129 00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:17,668 Don't look, Buttermilk! 130 00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:19,211 (CROWD JEERlNG) 131 00:06:20,255 --> 00:06:21,797 How dare he? 132 00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:25,092 That's the flag my grandpappy rebelled against! 133 00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:28,471 When you insult the flag, you insult my flag tattoo! 134 00:06:35,479 --> 00:06:36,479 Uh-oh. 135 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,275 (MUTTERlNG NERVOUSLY) 136 00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:43,069 (DONKEY BRAYlNG) 137 00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:44,487 What did you say about my mother! 138 00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:45,738 (YELLlNG) 139 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,993 You'll fry up nice tonight! 140 00:06:54,456 --> 00:06:57,541 Your child's behavior appalls me not just as a principal, 141 00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,877 but as a veteran of America's only losing war. 142 00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:00,920 To date! 143 00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:04,840 l swear, Bart didn't know what he was doing. He was deaf. 144 00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:09,053 Oh, sure, Marge. Just like Blind Bart, Wheelchair Bart, 145 00:07:09,221 --> 00:07:11,472 Pregnant Bart, and my personal favorite, 146 00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:13,766 Railroad Spike-Through-Head Bart. 147 00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:15,768 (LAUGHlNG) Kids love trains. 148 00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:17,895 Hey, fellas, my hearing's back. 149 00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:19,605 Congratulations, traitor! 150 00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:23,859 Thank you. And let me say l missed your sweet, sweet voices. 151 00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,653 Cram it, lraqi ! (GRUNTS) 152 00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:29,323 Why'd you dis the flag? lt partied on the moon ! 153 00:07:31,660 --> 00:07:33,619 Weren't we afraid of him just a few days ago? 154 00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:35,121 We're complex. 155 00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:37,873 All right, who can take a story 156 00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,375 and blow it way out of proportion? 157 00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:40,543 l'm your man, boss! 158 00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:42,461 l want you to over-hype this story so much, 159 00:07:42,546 --> 00:07:45,089 it makes the New York Post look like The New York Times. 160 00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:47,466 Or The New York Times look like the New York Post. 161 00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:49,969 l forget which one the good one is. 162 00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:58,936 l did not come to this country illegally to see it mocked. 163 00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:02,648 There's the boy who bared his bottom to Old Glory 164 00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:05,317 and the family that applauds his every moonery! 165 00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:09,738 They hate our country but they love our soapy water. 166 00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:13,993 Huh? 167 00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:17,997 Hey, Benedict Arnold, our cups don't want your colorful balls! 168 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,457 No one calls me unpatriotic! 169 00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:23,335 (EXCLAlMS) Uh-oh. 170 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,014 (GROANS NERVOUSLY) 171 00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:37,641 Hey, guys! 172 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:44,773 Oh, cold shoulder, huh? Well, l'll just talk to myself. 173 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:48,444 "Hey, how you doing, Homer?" "Oh, not too bad. How about you?" 174 00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:51,238 "Oh, l'm fine. Your wife was great in bed last night." 175 00:08:51,323 --> 00:08:52,948 "You keep your hands off my wife!" 176 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:56,410 "Oh, yeah? Well, l give her what she needs. And she like. . ." 177 00:08:56,494 --> 00:08:57,494 (CHOKlNG) 178 00:08:58,288 --> 00:08:59,538 "Homer, stop it!" 179 00:08:59,623 --> 00:09:02,166 Homer! This bar's only for real Americans 180 00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:04,710 and people on permanent visas like me. 181 00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:07,755 What? What are you all looking at? l'm Dutch. 182 00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:09,757 Ah, forget all of you. 183 00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:11,300 (CLOMPlNG) 184 00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:14,178 l'm leaving, too. 185 00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:17,223 l'm gonna go listen to the President's weekly radio address. 186 00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:19,141 And not the rebuttal. 187 00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:20,392 Goodbye, Homer. 188 00:09:20,477 --> 00:09:23,729 l can't get drunk and vomit next to a guy l don't respect. 189 00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,818 (SOBBlNG) Even my best friends have left me. 190 00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:32,821 l'm all alone! 191 00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:44,166 LlSA: We've become pariahs! 192 00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:47,503 ln the last two hours, l've gotten 1 000 hate spams. 193 00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:50,756 (RlNGlNG) 194 00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:52,132 Y'ello? 195 00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:55,928 Appear on your TV show? Tell our side of the story? 196 00:09:56,012 --> 00:10:00,349 You'll see us there? Goodbye? Dial tone? 197 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,185 MARGE: lf there's one way to get the truth out, 198 00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:05,354 it's on a cable news channel. 199 00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:09,942 When we explain our side of the story, the hate calls will end. 200 00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:12,945 l won't have to hear "Suck my such and such" 201 00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:15,614 or "hell this" and "bitch that." 202 00:10:15,699 --> 00:10:16,782 We get it, Mom ! 203 00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:18,200 Oh, no, no, let her finish. 204 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,744 Look, what should l say to make people not hate me? 205 00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,122 Son, l've learned one thing in this life. 206 00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:25,332 To stay out of trouble just say nothing. 207 00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:28,168 Don't rock the boat. Don't even get in the boat! 208 00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:30,629 Just buy some ice cream and walk around the pier. 209 00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:32,923 But don't go in the bathrooms, they're filthy. 210 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:36,719 Dad, l am going on a talk show, l have to say something. 211 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:39,680 Talk about boats. Then, when he asks you if you hate this country, 212 00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:42,599 you just start crying and pretend you don't. 213 00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:44,268 But l don't hate this country. 214 00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:47,396 There, there. Save your lies for the American public. 215 00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:50,816 l'm Nash Castor and it's time to butt heads! 216 00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:53,235 Bart Simpson, what do you hate most about this country? 217 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:54,361 ls it the freedom? 218 00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:56,572 Nash, l've realized something. 219 00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,240 l'm the worst kid in the world 220 00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:00,743 and the last thing l deserve is forgiveness. 221 00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:03,662 But with a little help from Jesus 222 00:11:03,747 --> 00:11:06,415 and our fighting men and women overseas. . . 223 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:08,167 All right. So if l hear you correctly, 224 00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:09,835 you're saying America is better than Jesus. 225 00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:12,087 Do you agree? Before he can answer, do you? 226 00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:14,381 Well, America's not perfect. 227 00:11:14,466 --> 00:11:18,344 So America isn't perfect. ls that why you and your son hate us? 228 00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:21,972 lf by "us" you mean loud mouth talk show hosts, 229 00:11:22,057 --> 00:11:24,058 which everyone seems to be in this country, 230 00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:26,643 then, yes, l do hate Americans. 231 00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:32,900 (GASPS) What did she say? 232 00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:36,195 Well, Marge, l'm surprised you haven't been run out of town. 233 00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:40,324 l'll have you know l am very well-liked in Springfield ! 234 00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:43,285 Well, there you have it. Springfield hates America. 235 00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:46,914 Now coming up after this commercial, l will be talking even louder! 236 00:11:46,998 --> 00:11:47,998 Don't miss it! 237 00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:49,833 AII over the country tonight, 238 00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:52,836 patriotic Americans are denouncing Springfield 239 00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:55,464 and its officiaI spokesmen, the Simpsons. 240 00:11:55,799 --> 00:12:00,511 I decIare today, December 25th, We Hate Springfield Day. 241 00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:01,637 (ALL CHEERlNG) 242 00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:05,182 TOM: Overseas, the reaction tonight is decidedIy different. 243 00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:08,769 Simpsons be praised! Praise be to Springfield! 244 00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:09,853 (ULULATlNG) 245 00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:13,065 But not everyone is uIuIating tonight. 246 00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:15,984 The President announced today he is pointing warheads at... 247 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:19,071 Turn that off. This could destroy our town. 248 00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:21,323 Look what happened to Hitler City, North Carolina. 249 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:24,201 lf they hadn't changed their name to Charlotte, they'd be sunk. 250 00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:26,870 Sir, conventions are pulling out of Springfield left and right. 251 00:12:26,955 --> 00:12:29,164 The Paprika Festival, Bandana Days! 252 00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:31,917 Sir, we just lost the Adult Video Awards. 253 00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:33,168 Not the Boneys! 254 00:12:35,338 --> 00:12:36,630 l am honored to announce 255 00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:40,175 that we are changing the name of our town to Libertyville! 256 00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:43,345 "$1 7.76"? 257 00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:46,473 l can't afford to sell a West Side home for that! 258 00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:50,144 But what a fantastical year for pizza by the slice! 259 00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:51,353 (HUMMlNG) 260 00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:57,192 (SlNGlNG) Charge a-money for a pizza Buy myseIf a big-a new car 261 00:12:57,861 --> 00:12:59,528 l'm as patriotic as the next person, 262 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:02,239 but changing the traffic lights to red, white, and blue 263 00:13:02,323 --> 00:13:03,699 just seems dangerous. 264 00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:06,410 Come on, kid, go! You got the red ! 265 00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,288 TEENAGER: Oh, no! 266 00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,623 Okay, Mr. Teeny, before the cops come, 267 00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:14,376 swallow all these illegal pills, then run to the vet. 268 00:13:14,544 --> 00:13:15,711 (TEENY CHATTERlNG) 269 00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:19,590 (MUTTERlNG) 270 00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:25,429 "Homeland Noodles with Uncle Sam Balls." 271 00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:28,932 Apu, aren't you going a bit overboard with the patriotism? 272 00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:30,100 l don't think so. 273 00:13:30,185 --> 00:13:34,563 lt is a heartfelt expression of my true desire to protect my mahogany noggin. 274 00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:37,941 Uh-oh. Poonam and Uma are fighting. 275 00:13:38,026 --> 00:13:40,235 No, no. Those are their pre-witch hunt names. 276 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:44,406 Their new names are Freedom, Lincoln, Condoleezza, Coke, Pepsi, 277 00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:47,159 Manifest Destiny, Apple Pie and Superman. 278 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,453 And together, we are the MacGillicuddys. 279 00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:50,996 (ORGAN MUSlC PLAYlNG) 280 00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:55,626 Lord, give us the courage to worship the American flag, 281 00:13:55,877 --> 00:14:01,423 be it on a car, a belt buckle, or on your holy person. 282 00:14:01,925 --> 00:14:02,925 BART: Ay, caramba! 283 00:14:03,218 --> 00:14:04,760 l'd like to say something about 284 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,221 the current climate of repression and fear. 285 00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:08,555 Oh, put a cork in it. 286 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:09,765 Sit down, Saddam ! 287 00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:11,517 "Congress shall make no law 288 00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:14,478 "abridging the freedom of speech or of the press." 289 00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:18,357 That's from the First Amendment 290 00:14:18,441 --> 00:14:20,359 to the Constitution. Thank you. 291 00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:22,361 Thank you, Lisa. 292 00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:25,364 l'm sure your opinion will not go unnoticed. 293 00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:27,282 (HELlCOPTER WHlRRlNG) 294 00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:30,035 (GUNS COCKlNG) 295 00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:31,703 Simpsons, you are under arrest 296 00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:34,122 for the violation of the Government Knows Best Act. 297 00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:36,875 Martha, play something to lighten the mood. 298 00:14:37,961 --> 00:14:40,754 (PLAYlNG TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL GAME) 299 00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:47,469 (SlNGlNG) Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks 300 00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:48,554 l don't care... 301 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:49,680 Ow! 302 00:14:54,978 --> 00:14:57,312 l can't believe they put us in jail ! 303 00:14:57,397 --> 00:15:00,566 lt's not a jail. lt's a reeducation center. 304 00:15:00,650 --> 00:15:02,150 Well, where do you think we are? 305 00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,820 Well, let's see. After they blindfolded us, 306 00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:09,616 it was left-right-left, then a three-hour plane ride. 307 00:15:10,952 --> 00:15:14,121 Do you get time off for snitching on your cellmates? 308 00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:19,251 You were right, Homie. We shouldn't have rocked the boat. 309 00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:21,211 Then none of this would have ever happened. 310 00:15:21,462 --> 00:15:24,006 Well, we're not the only ones to be unjustly imprisoned. 311 00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:26,091 Check out all the left-wing celebrities. 312 00:15:29,387 --> 00:15:32,097 Elmo go to wrong fundraiser. 313 00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:35,100 Bill Clinton? What are you doing here? 314 00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:37,436 l called the Republican tax cuts unwise. 315 00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:39,980 And l stand by it. They're unwise. 316 00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:41,523 I want my Washington Post! 317 00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:44,693 Here's your Washington Post! You like that, Clinton? 318 00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:47,696 You traitors pipe down ! You're all here because you hate freedom ! 319 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:50,949 l'm here because l said imported wines are better than Napa Valley! 320 00:15:51,034 --> 00:15:53,201 Yeah? Well, why don't you take a "napa"? 321 00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:54,286 (GRUNTS) 322 00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:59,124 My only crime was driving a truck full of explosives in from Canada. 323 00:15:59,334 --> 00:16:01,627 Oh. . . l don't know why they put 324 00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,920 the real ones in with the joke ones. 325 00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:05,255 (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) 326 00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:09,801 (FLUTE PLAYlNG) 327 00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:12,346 Hello, l'm the U. S. Constitution. 328 00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:16,642 And I'm over 200 years oId. But I'm feeIing fine. 329 00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:21,563 I wish I couId say the same for my crazy cousin, Bill O'Rights. 330 00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:24,107 (SLURRlNG) What did l do? What did l do? 331 00:16:25,568 --> 00:16:26,902 (BOTH LAUGHlNG) 332 00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:31,573 Lisa, that's not funny. You believe in the Bill of Rights. 333 00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:35,744 l don't know whether it's the lack of sleep, the sodium pentothal, 334 00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:38,413 or that it's the only cartoon l've seen in two months. 335 00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,707 But this is what l believe in now. 336 00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:42,626 Oh, Homer, we've gotta get out of here. 337 00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:44,503 Yeah, yeah. Next commercial. 338 00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:45,921 l know a way out. 339 00:16:46,047 --> 00:16:47,089 Who are you? 340 00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:51,843 l'm the last registered Democrat. Tax and spend ! Tax and spend ! 341 00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:53,428 (LAUGHS CRAZlLY) 342 00:16:53,971 --> 00:16:55,764 Now, if you want to escape, 343 00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:59,101 you can do it during the prison talent show tomorrow night. 344 00:16:59,394 --> 00:17:02,062 l don't want to be in any stupid talent show. 345 00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:04,147 Not without my Tennessee walking horses. 346 00:17:04,232 --> 00:17:07,859 Well, you got no choice. lt's the only way you'll achieve your goal. 347 00:17:08,111 --> 00:17:09,236 Goal ! 348 00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:12,489 Sweet, sweet goal ! 349 00:17:13,783 --> 00:17:18,745 Ninety-seven, 98, 99, 1 00! 350 00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:20,872 (CHEERlNG) 351 00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:25,836 Thank you. Vote for me for best in show. 352 00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:29,339 You guys are on after Al Franken. 353 00:17:29,424 --> 00:17:32,300 So the guards would have used up most of their bullets. 354 00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,636 Make your break at the end of your act. 355 00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:39,015 Now, people have accused this family of not loving our country, 356 00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:42,978 but you can't spell USA without "us," hey? 357 00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,480 (ORCHESTRAL MUSlC STARTlNG) 358 00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:50,861 (SlNGlNG) Oh, beautifuI for spacious skies 359 00:17:50,945 --> 00:17:55,907 For amber waves of grain 360 00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,286 (FAST MUSlC PLAYlNG) 361 00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:03,999 Fifty stars and 1 3 stripes 362 00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:07,419 Okay, kids, show off your pipes 363 00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:10,589 Americans are brave and IoyaI 364 00:18:10,673 --> 00:18:13,633 So come on jerks, give us your oiI 365 00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:16,762 My card here says ACLU 366 00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:20,557 Now look what I'm going to do 367 00:18:23,686 --> 00:18:26,688 To Iove our country is no chore 368 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,983 Wait right here for our encore 369 00:18:33,863 --> 00:18:35,572 (CROWD CHEERlNG) 370 00:18:37,408 --> 00:18:38,784 We mean it, don't move! 371 00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:40,243 (ALL LAUGHlNG) 372 00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:42,579 They've escaped ! 373 00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:45,582 Okay, kids, show off your pipes 374 00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:48,627 Dad, why are you still singing that stupid song? 375 00:18:48,711 --> 00:18:51,588 Because if they catch us, we may have to do it again. 376 00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:53,548 And this time l want it tight. 377 00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:56,134 D'oh ! 378 00:18:56,219 --> 00:18:59,513 What genius put a prison on the middle of an island? 379 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,515 Does everyone remember their swimming lessons? 380 00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:02,599 Yes. Yes. 381 00:19:02,683 --> 00:19:04,100 No. Great. Dive in ! 382 00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:09,397 (COCKS GUN) 383 00:19:09,899 --> 00:19:12,192 Hold your fire. That walrus will eat them. 384 00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:13,443 No, that's the dad. 385 00:19:13,528 --> 00:19:14,653 But he's eating a seal. 386 00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:19,699 Swim toward San Francisco! 387 00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:23,328 l'm not made of money! We'll swim to Oakland. 388 00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:24,579 (FOGHORN BLOWlNG) 389 00:19:24,705 --> 00:19:25,914 There's a ship! We're saved ! 390 00:19:26,415 --> 00:19:28,166 Oh, what's the use? 391 00:19:28,251 --> 00:19:30,168 Even if they pick us up, we'll go back to jail 392 00:19:30,253 --> 00:19:32,128 because they think we hate America. 393 00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:35,465 l don't want to end up like Elmo, hanging himself in prison. 394 00:19:36,217 --> 00:19:39,719 Mes amis, we hate America, too! 395 00:19:39,804 --> 00:19:41,346 Come to France 396 00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:45,767 and we shall mock the country that saved us twice from the Germans! 397 00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:48,562 l've always wanted to go to France. 398 00:19:48,646 --> 00:19:51,314 Your women don't age. Like Catherine Deneuve. 399 00:19:51,649 --> 00:19:54,317 Eh, you wait till you see her up close, then you tell me. 400 00:19:57,446 --> 00:19:59,364 Maman, please pass the baguette. 401 00:19:59,574 --> 00:20:02,075 The food is so delicious here. 402 00:20:02,159 --> 00:20:04,452 And these Chanel suits are five for a dollar. 403 00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:06,788 l'm using a jacket as a napkin ! 404 00:20:08,249 --> 00:20:13,253 And here no one calls me a fat jerk! l'm a gourmand ! 405 00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:18,633 And yet l miss America. 406 00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,427 l miss America, too. 407 00:20:20,511 --> 00:20:23,555 The United States has its grandeur and its follies, 408 00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:26,308 but mostly, it's the place where all our stuff is. 409 00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:30,270 l wish we could go back. But l don't think we're welcome there. 410 00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:34,399 No, Marge, there's one group that's always welcome in America, 411 00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:36,359 immigrants without lDs! 412 00:20:36,527 --> 00:20:37,819 (SHlP'S HORN BLASTlNG) 413 00:20:38,821 --> 00:20:41,031 Well, kids, this is the first chapter 414 00:20:41,115 --> 00:20:43,909 of our brand new lives in America. 415 00:20:43,993 --> 00:20:45,243 Name? Simpson. 416 00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:46,745 From now on, you're the Simps. 417 00:20:46,829 --> 00:20:48,121 That'll save time. 418 00:20:48,205 --> 00:20:50,332 Now kids, it'll take us a while to assimilate. 419 00:20:50,541 --> 00:20:54,669 l'll start out as a cop, and with time, become a dirty cop. 420 00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:58,089 l think l'm going to like this America. 421 00:20:58,674 --> 00:21:01,843 (SlNGlNG) Everywhere around the worId 422 00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:04,846 They're coming to America 423 00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:09,184 Every time that fIag's unfurIed 424 00:21:10,186 --> 00:21:12,604 They're coming to America 425 00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:16,358 Got a dream to take them there 426 00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:20,236 They're coming to America 427 00:21:57,525 --> 00:21:58,525 English - US - PSDH 31904

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