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00:00:02,419 --> 00:00:05,296
(SlNGlNG) The Simpsons
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00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,006
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
3
00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:10,176
D'oh !
4
00:00:10,761 --> 00:00:12,637
(SCREAMlNG)
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
5
00:00:26,110 --> 00:00:28,820
ANNOUNCER: WeIcome back to
Promiscuous ldiots lsland
6
00:00:28,904 --> 00:00:31,322
on Fox, the home of
Promiscuous ldiots.
7
00:00:31,407 --> 00:00:34,200
Last week on Pll,
our billionaire bachelor
8
00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:37,245
gave five IoveIy Iadies
a rose of continuation.
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00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:40,039
And he hurled a rock
of rejection at anyone
10
00:00:40,124 --> 00:00:42,750
dispIaying inteIIigence,
character, or ethnicity.
11
00:00:42,835 --> 00:00:43,835
(GRUNTS)
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00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:46,462
Tonight, we reveaI
a shocking secret.
13
00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:48,172
Ladies, when you
were selected,
14
00:00:48,257 --> 00:00:50,174
you were told
that you'd be dating
15
00:00:50,259 --> 00:00:52,135
a billionaire on
his private island.
16
00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:53,845
Well, l'm afraid
we misled you.
17
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,054
(GASPlNG)
18
00:00:55,139 --> 00:00:58,182
Get ready, skanks.
Here comes the truth train !
19
00:00:58,267 --> 00:01:01,436
This isn't an island.
lt's a peninsula.
20
00:01:01,854 --> 00:01:03,730
(DRAMATlC MUSlC PLAYlNG)
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00:01:03,981 --> 00:01:06,149
(GASPlNG)
This was supposed
to be about trust!
22
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:07,400
(SOBBlNG)
23
00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:09,694
l just want
to get on that boat
and go home!
24
00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:12,071
Well, you don't need a boat
because you can walk.
25
00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:13,489
(WAlLlNG)
26
00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:15,867
Yeah.
27
00:01:15,951 --> 00:01:17,076
What do those women expect?
28
00:01:17,161 --> 00:01:18,536
When you sign
a contract with Fox,
29
00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:20,413
you know you're gonna be
betrayed and humiliated.
30
00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:21,831
Quiet! The commercial's on !
31
00:01:23,292 --> 00:01:25,835
lf we don't watch these,
it's like we're stealing TV.
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00:01:27,045 --> 00:01:30,965
Do you Iove that sweet smeII
of Farmer BiIIy's bacon?
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00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:32,258
Do l ever?
34
00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:34,427
WouId you Iike to
see how a pig goes
35
00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:36,554
from Ioving Iife to
your fork and knife?
36
00:01:36,722 --> 00:01:37,764
Would l?
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00:01:37,848 --> 00:01:40,767
WeII, if you open up
one of these here packages
38
00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:43,394
and find a goIden ticket,
you get a tour
39
00:01:43,479 --> 00:01:45,980
of Farmer BiIIy's
bacon factory.
40
00:01:46,356 --> 00:01:48,024
(COMMERClAL ANNOUNCER READlNG)
41
00:01:48,734 --> 00:01:52,403
FARMER BlLLY:
You'II see the hoof grinder,
the marrow sluice,
42
00:01:52,488 --> 00:01:57,950
and of course,
the five-story pig shredder
bIessed by three popes.
43
00:01:58,035 --> 00:02:00,495
If you Iike bacon,
you're gonna Iove it.
44
00:02:00,579 --> 00:02:03,915
And if you don't Iike bacon,
weII, then the heII with ya!
45
00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:07,919
l'm going to find
that golden ticket
and win that tour!
46
00:02:08,003 --> 00:02:09,921
The only thing
that can make bacon
more delicious
47
00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:11,881
is seeing how it's made!
48
00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:16,135
Okay. Farmer Billy's
slow-killed bacon.
49
00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:17,678
Farmer Billy's
bacon-fed bacon,
50
00:02:17,763 --> 00:02:19,180
Farmer Billy's travel bacon. . .
51
00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:21,390
Mr. Simpson,
if you really want to
kill yourself,
52
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:22,809
l also sell handguns.
53
00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:24,811
Nope. Just looking
for that golden ticket.
54
00:02:24,895 --> 00:02:27,939
Nope. Nothing. Nope. Nada.
55
00:02:28,941 --> 00:02:33,069
(GASPS)
The golden ticket!
At long last!
56
00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:34,904
(KlSSlNG)
57
00:02:35,197 --> 00:02:38,825
Mr. Simpson, please!
l fear your smooches
are premature.
58
00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:41,327
This, in fact,
is a silver ticket.
Huh?
59
00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:43,246
"This silver ticket
entitles you
60
00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:46,499
"to judge
the pig competition at the
Springfield County Fair."
61
00:02:46,625 --> 00:02:51,254
Hmm. Judge a pig competition?
But l'm no super genius.
62
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,464
Or are l?
63
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:55,424
(CHUCKLlNG)
64
00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:57,677
(BLUEGRASS MUSlC PLAYlNG)
65
00:02:59,471 --> 00:03:01,973
These giant vegetables
are amazing.
66
00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:05,226
Hmm. . .
67
00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:09,272
How about a bite of
the world's biggest
Brussels sprout?
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00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:10,356
Ew.
69
00:03:16,572 --> 00:03:18,114
(WHlSTLlNG NONCHALANTLY)
70
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:20,658
This song is about
a country I Iove.
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00:03:20,826 --> 00:03:23,286
You may have heard of it.
lt's called America.
72
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:24,745
Hey, l know that country!
73
00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:29,000
(SlNGlNG) I couId pIease
Miss Barbra Streisand
74
00:03:29,084 --> 00:03:35,298
By spitting on the fIag
Or strangling a bald eagle
75
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:39,051
On the cover of some mag
76
00:03:39,136 --> 00:03:42,346
But I Iove this country
77
00:03:42,431 --> 00:03:47,018
To me, she has no sins
78
00:03:47,102 --> 00:03:51,314
If you don't buy my record
79
00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:56,986
Then al-Qaeda wins
80
00:03:57,404 --> 00:04:00,239
USA! USA!
81
00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:10,291
Of all the days
for you to get a zit.
82
00:04:15,714 --> 00:04:19,008
Comely. Succulent.
83
00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:21,719
(SCOFFS)
Clearly had a snout job.
84
00:04:23,347 --> 00:04:24,680
Ugh ! Too '80s.
85
00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:27,058
Let's see how
your sister's doing
86
00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:28,726
in the place-setting
competition.
87
00:04:29,061 --> 00:04:30,519
Place-setting?
88
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:34,023
How is someone so lame
related to a hot tamale
like me?
89
00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:37,360
JUDGE: Hmm.
90
00:04:38,195 --> 00:04:42,156
Check it out! Dribble glass,
rubber knife, whoopee salad !
91
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,449
(FARTlNG)
92
00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:44,784
(CHUCKLES)
93
00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:47,662
And finally the breakaway
wine bottle. . .
94
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:51,749
Did not arrive. (MOANlNG)
95
00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:55,294
My theme is "lf Music
be the Food of Love."
96
00:04:55,379 --> 00:04:57,630
The setting
features tuning forks,
97
00:04:57,714 --> 00:05:01,092
champagne flutes,
and of course, chopsticks.
98
00:05:01,176 --> 00:05:04,095
And for dessert,
Ella Fitz Jell-O.
99
00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:06,597
Lordy, girl.
Your entry stinks like
100
00:05:06,682 --> 00:05:08,933
the south end of
a northbound mule.
101
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:10,184
What's wrong with it?
102
00:05:10,268 --> 00:05:13,187
Well, your
place-setting thinks
it's better than it is.
103
00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:16,273
Like a yard dog that
sneaks into the house.
104
00:05:16,358 --> 00:05:17,483
Zing !
105
00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:19,068
Did l do anything right?
106
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:21,821
Well, you did
put it on a table.
107
00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:23,531
(CHORTLlNG)
108
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:25,199
Lookee here, it wobbles.
109
00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:28,828
Wobble, wobble, wobble. . .
Wobble, wobble, wobble. . .
110
00:05:28,912 --> 00:05:31,956
Wobble, wobble, wobble. . .
111
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:35,835
This table's about
as solid as your
underlying concept.
112
00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:36,919
(LAUGHlNG)
113
00:05:37,087 --> 00:05:38,087
(SOBBlNG)
114
00:05:38,547 --> 00:05:41,424
No one does that
to my daughter!
115
00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:45,678
One more
felony assault, Simpson,
and you're going down.
116
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:50,599
l didn't know
l could fit in a bubble.
l must be losing weight.
117
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:56,480
Oh. . .
But l gotta do something !
l'll need a disguise.
118
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:03,362
(SOBBlNG)
119
00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:06,991
Aw, there, there,
little darlin'.
120
00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:10,286
Dry those tears with this!
121
00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:13,205
(LAUGHlNG)
122
00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:16,959
HOMER: Hold it right there!
123
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:19,879
(ALL GASP)
124
00:06:20,255 --> 00:06:22,548
You've hurt
your last feeling !
125
00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:26,302
(LAUGHS)
126
00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:28,262
(ALL JEERlNG)
127
00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:31,599
We all know pi-R-squared.
128
00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:34,810
But today, pie-are-justice.
l welcome it.
129
00:06:34,978 --> 00:06:38,314
Thank you,
mysterious stranger.
Where did he go?
130
00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:41,817
Where were you, Homie?
You missed all
the excitement.
131
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:46,030
Shall we ever
see Springfield's
costumed protector again?
132
00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:48,783
Oh, l have
a funny feeling we will.
133
00:06:48,867 --> 00:06:52,578
Wherever people
are mistreated,
the Pie Man will strike!
134
00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:54,121
(CHUCKLES)
135
00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:04,215
What you doing, sweetie?
136
00:07:04,299 --> 00:07:07,093
l'm drawing a picture
of my newest hero. Pie Man !
137
00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:09,720
Gee, l thought l had a bigger
package than that.
138
00:07:09,805 --> 00:07:11,722
That's really sweet, honey.
139
00:07:11,807 --> 00:07:12,807
(BART GROANS)
140
00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:16,477
Aw. Hey, let's turn
that frown upside down.
141
00:07:17,813 --> 00:07:19,688
Oh, Dad ! l feel like
l'm gonna throw up!
142
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:21,690
All right.
What's wrong, Son?
143
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,693
Comic Book Guy
made me pay for these
comics he said l smudged.
144
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,028
But l didn't even touch 'em !
145
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,405
LISA: Richie Rich
Incorporates in DeIaware.
146
00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:30,032
Easy to BeIieve TaIes.
147
00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:31,992
Supergirl vs.
The Glass Ceiling.
148
00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:33,452
The Green Listener.
149
00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:34,954
He was just
trying to unload these
150
00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:36,455
crappy comics on
a helpless kid.
151
00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:41,335
Somebody oughta
take him down a peg,
or should l say "down a pie"?
152
00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:43,295
No, l think
the expression is "peg."
153
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:48,217
Maybe you're right, Lisa.
Maybe you're pie.
Pie be you're pie.
154
00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:22,751
This magazine
you sold me isn't
155
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:25,462
Fantastic Four,
it's Fantastic FIoor.
156
00:08:25,547 --> 00:08:28,674
My family can't put
in floors. We rent.
157
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,718
Sorry. No refunds.
158
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:31,844
(DOOR CHlME RlNGS)
159
00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:35,681
Oh, brother.
Why do we get all
the weirdoes here
160
00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:36,974
at the comic book store?
161
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:41,937
Comic Book Guy,
don't do the crime if
you can't do the key lime!
162
00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:44,773
(EXCLAlMlNG)
163
00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:47,234
How could this be
any more humiliating?
164
00:08:47,319 --> 00:08:49,862
Hello. l'm Nichelle Nichols
of Star Trek.
165
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:54,408
Oh ! You finally accepted
my invitation for tea
and chit chat.
166
00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:57,995
Ew. Listen,
l said it to Shatner
and l'm saying it to you.
167
00:08:58,079 --> 00:09:02,458
There is no way
l'm going to be dating
a man with pie on his face.
168
00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:03,751
(SOBBlNG)
169
00:09:03,835 --> 00:09:04,835
(ALL LAUGHlNG)
170
00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:06,795
There's a note!
171
00:09:06,922 --> 00:09:10,966
(READlNG)
172
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:13,802
Finally, a superhero
that kids can love.
173
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:16,055
What about Fist Face?
174
00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:18,307
Fist Face? Who's Fist Face?
175
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,768
Why won't you tell me
who Fist Face is?
176
00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:24,063
l demand you reveal
the identity of Fist Face!
177
00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:25,814
lt's you !
(GRUNTS)
178
00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:29,526
You can tell by the way
the pie tin sits on his face
179
00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:30,945
that he's very good-looking.
180
00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:34,782
Oh, l think you'd
find his filling
extremely hot.
181
00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:36,825
Ooh ! l bet he's Ned Flanders.
182
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:37,910
Flanders?
183
00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:39,495
He's not man enough
to trim my crust!
184
00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:42,414
l mean Pie Man's crust!
l'm not Pie Man.
185
00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:46,168
Pie. PopuIar pastry,
tricky math thing
186
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,795
and now sword
of righteousness.
187
00:09:47,879 --> 00:09:49,088
A masked avenger
has been giving
188
00:09:49,172 --> 00:09:52,258
Springfield's scoundrels
their just desserts!
189
00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:55,552
This is for your
show's sIight decIine
in quaIity over the years!
190
00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:58,472
KENT: In an attempt to
curb copycat pie-ings,
191
00:09:58,556 --> 00:10:00,933
the poIice have organized
a pie-for-guns exchange.
192
00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:03,852
The pies were immediateIy
detonated by the bomb squad.
193
00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:05,020
(EXPLODlNG)
194
00:10:05,689 --> 00:10:07,773
Aw! Those poor innocent pies.
195
00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:10,484
Some days you just
don't want to be a cop,
you know?
196
00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:13,570
I'm gonna go
turn the siren on.
That aIways cheers me up.
197
00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:16,156
(SlREN WAlLlNG)
(LAUGHlNG)
198
00:10:17,993 --> 00:10:20,536
That's good footage.
Where will the Pie Man
strike next?
199
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,746
Perhaps at the Springfield
Children's Hospital,
200
00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:25,040
which is tossing out
aII its sick youngsters
201
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:27,293
to make way for a new
cosmetic surgery cIinic.
202
00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:30,045
Who will treat
my whooping cough?
203
00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:31,422
(HACKlNG)
204
00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:35,384
Search me.
Come back when you
want a giant rack.
205
00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:38,053
(CROWD CLAPPlNG)
206
00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:39,388
(HACKlNG)
207
00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:44,310
Okay, Lou.
The minute Pie Man shows up,
we spring our trap.
208
00:10:44,394 --> 00:10:46,437
Hey, what do you got
against this pie guy anyway?
209
00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:48,272
He's giving jerks
their comeuppance.
210
00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:50,983
Yeah, but he's skipping
the hardest part
of being a cop.
211
00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:52,609
Bike safety lectures.
212
00:10:52,861 --> 00:10:54,069
Oh, come on, Chief.
213
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,821
No, no one ever
wants to hear about
214
00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:57,489
the importance of
pants clips, do they?
215
00:10:57,574 --> 00:10:58,657
Well yeah, but. . .
(lNTERRUPTlNG)
216
00:10:58,742 --> 00:11:01,076
That's why
Pie Man is going down.
217
00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:03,078
Thanks to this clinic,
we will no longer
218
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:04,997
be terrorized
by the spectacle
219
00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:06,498
of women aging naturally.
220
00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:08,083
(CACKLlNG)
221
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:12,546
Not so fast,
old-time liberal.
222
00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:13,756
Get him !
223
00:11:13,882 --> 00:11:14,840
(CROWD MUTTERlNG)
224
00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:16,842
Pie Man, no! lt's a trap!
225
00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:18,552
No trap can hold
Homer Simpson. . .
226
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,680
But l'm not Homer Simpson !
l'm the Pie Man !
227
00:11:21,765 --> 00:11:24,641
Homer Simpson away!
l mean, the Pie Man !
228
00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:29,730
Shoot to kill !
229
00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:31,190
(GUNS FlRlNG)
230
00:11:31,274 --> 00:11:32,274
(ALL SCREAMlNG)
231
00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:35,319
(GRUNTS) Oh ! Damn it!
232
00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:37,112
Oh, way to go, Lou.
You hit him !
233
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:38,989
What? You sound
like you're surprised.
234
00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:42,326
l'm trying to
give you positive
reinforcement, jerk.
235
00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:44,453
What, and that's positive,
calling me a jerk?
236
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,080
Well, you are a jerk.
237
00:11:46,623 --> 00:11:48,290
(PEOPLE SCREAMlNG)
(GRUNTS)
238
00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:55,839
l'm not being trampled.
What gives?
239
00:12:01,012 --> 00:12:03,013
Uh, listen. l'm married.
240
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:10,729
(SlGHS)
241
00:12:10,814 --> 00:12:16,151
l'm looking up your nose,
but l feel like
l'm staring into your soul.
242
00:12:16,319 --> 00:12:18,028
(THUNDER CRASHlNG)
243
00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:19,947
(STRAlNlNG)
244
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:25,119
That was
so exciting yet familiar,
like Coke with lemon.
245
00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:26,829
(MUTTERlNG HAPPlLY)
246
00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:30,791
(MOANlNG)
247
00:12:35,839 --> 00:12:36,839
(GRUNTlNG)
248
00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:40,801
Let's see.
Cartilage. Cartilage.
Muscle. Nerve.
249
00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:42,511
Artery. Bullet!
250
00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:44,012
(SlGHS lN RELlEF)
251
00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:48,434
Dad?
252
00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:51,770
Pie Man is not your father,
little girl.
253
00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:54,690
l murdered your father.
254
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,484
Dad, please.
lt's obvious you're Pie Man.
255
00:12:57,569 --> 00:12:59,027
We've been getting
his mail for weeks.
256
00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:03,699
We shall continue
this conversation
in the Pie Cave.
257
00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:11,790
Watch it. One more step.
Welcome to my secret lair.
258
00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:13,584
Dad, this is the basement.
259
00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:15,711
Here's the iced tea
l left down here
this afternoon.
260
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:18,172
So it would seem.
Anyhoo, l bet this
261
00:13:18,256 --> 00:13:19,840
is all a pretty
big surprise, huh?
262
00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:21,717
Mild-mannered
Homer Simpson. . .
263
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,552
You're not mild-mannered.
264
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,512
You're often
liquored up and rude.
265
00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:27,014
Honorable men can differ.
266
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,974
Now what brings you
down here?
267
00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:31,894
l want you to stop this, Dad,
before you get killed.
268
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:37,232
All right, l'll stop.
269
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:39,026
What'll l do with these pies?
270
00:13:39,110 --> 00:13:40,777
Well, l know
one thing you could do.
271
00:13:40,904 --> 00:13:44,865
(CHUCKLES)
l was in so deep
l forgot pies were food.
272
00:13:49,412 --> 00:13:50,412
(WHlSTLlNG)
273
00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:54,917
Simpson, you're late,
bald, and stupid.
l'm docking you a day's pay.
274
00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:56,001
What?
275
00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,463
l'll show him.
276
00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:03,717
No, l shouldn't. Or should l?
277
00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:07,804
l'll keep my promise, honey.
278
00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:09,348
No Iooking at
pictures of Ioved ones!
279
00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:13,393
Mr. Burns. . .
Bald-headed little. . .
Kill you, you. . .
280
00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:15,354
No angry grumbIing
under your breath!
281
00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:17,814
(WHlP CRACKlNG)
282
00:14:17,899 --> 00:14:20,776
Eat faster! Faster!
Swallow on your own time!
283
00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:22,986
(EXCLAlMlNG lN PAlN)
284
00:14:23,071 --> 00:14:24,112
Won't someone help us?
285
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,406
Who will stand up
for Carl and Lenny?
286
00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:31,537
Hey, Homer, throw me
at Mr. Burns.
287
00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:36,166
No, throw me!
l'm old and stale!
l might just kill him !
288
00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:37,334
(CACKLlNG)
289
00:14:39,754 --> 00:14:43,131
Don't do it, Homer.
You made a promise to Lisa.
290
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,383
Since when do
l listen to cakes?
291
00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:45,551
Tell you what, Homer.
292
00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:48,554
You make one last hit
and then you're out of
the business forever.
293
00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:50,681
Lisa would understand.
294
00:14:50,765 --> 00:14:54,268
You're all so wise.
l wish l could eat each
and every one of you.
295
00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:56,812
Aw, we wish
you could eat us, too.
296
00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:01,191
Hey!
Attention.
297
00:15:01,276 --> 00:15:04,945
While you've
been showering here,
l sold all your clothes.
298
00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:06,113
(ALL GROAN)
299
00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:07,197
Again?
300
00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:10,075
l've run out of
pie-related puns!
301
00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:12,828
(ALL LAUGHlNG)
302
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:15,372
He won't escape, sir.
303
00:15:28,970 --> 00:15:29,970
(SNORlNG)
304
00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:33,098
Behold, Smithers,
your so-called Messiah.
305
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:34,391
Sir, l never. . .
306
00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:36,768
l am the Pie Man. . .
307
00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:38,729
l am Pie Man.
308
00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:40,188
To the employee prison !
309
00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:45,652
(EXCLAlMS)
310
00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:50,073
Now let's see
what we have here.
311
00:15:56,789 --> 00:16:00,459
(GASPS) Simpson !
You'll rue the day
you took that pie tin,
312
00:16:00,543 --> 00:16:03,003
poked holes for eyes,
and attached a rubber band
around the back!
313
00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:04,421
lt's not a rubber band,
it's a scrunchie.
314
00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:05,464
Silence!
315
00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:09,343
Or l'll chop you into suet
for my murderous
gerbils and hamsters!
316
00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:11,386
(GROWLlNG)
317
00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:13,305
Wait! l have a better idea.
318
00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:15,140
You'll work for me now.
319
00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:16,308
l already work for you.
320
00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:19,227
ln addition to working
in your normal capacity
at the plant,
321
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:22,230
you will also serve
as my personal hit man.
322
00:16:22,357 --> 00:16:23,815
Do l get two paychecks?
No.
323
00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:24,900
(SHRlEKS)
324
00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:29,112
Here's your first assignment
to prove your loyalty.
325
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:30,697
But l promised
my daughter. . .
326
00:16:30,782 --> 00:16:32,824
Do as l say!
Or l'll tell the police.
327
00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:35,327
You'll do so much
community service.
328
00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:37,996
No! Not community service!
329
00:16:38,081 --> 00:16:41,833
l can't stand helping others!
l just can't!
330
00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:46,004
Now open the folder.
lt contains your next victim.
331
00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:50,008
(GASPS) No, not him !
Anyone but him !
332
00:16:50,093 --> 00:16:52,386
l've had
my problems with him.
Everyone has.
333
00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:55,764
But like every monster,
he just wants to be loved.
334
00:16:56,974 --> 00:16:57,974
Oh. . .
335
00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:03,438
Come on.
lt's cobblering time.
336
00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:07,734
(GROANlNG)
337
00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:10,946
l can't sleep.
l keep thinking
about the Pie Man.
338
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,698
Oh, me, too.
339
00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:15,033
What if he started
pie-ing good people?
340
00:17:15,118 --> 00:17:16,618
Not because he wanted to,
341
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:19,121
but because he was being
blackmailed by his boss?
342
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,248
Homie, are you the Pie Man?
343
00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:23,417
No, l'm not. And here's
a picture that proves it.
344
00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:25,127
See?
345
00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:27,546
Well, whoever he is,
the Pie Man
346
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:29,339
would never cave
in to blackmail.
347
00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:30,716
(GROANS SADLY)
348
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:34,052
Now on a different subject,
kiss me hard !
349
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:36,179
You know, l'm not Pie Man.
350
00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:37,305
l don't care.
351
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:40,559
(DOORBELL CHlMlNG)
352
00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:42,811
Girl Scout cookies!
353
00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:46,148
HOMER: Oh, come on.
She's a little girl !
354
00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:48,817
MR. BURNS: Grow a spine on
your own time, blimpo!
355
00:17:49,694 --> 00:17:51,862
Just one second, sweetheart.
356
00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:55,782
Now pie that Brownie,
fruitcake!
357
00:17:57,368 --> 00:17:58,368
Sorry.
358
00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:05,917
Sir, my baby wants to play
Patty Cake, now!
359
00:18:06,169 --> 00:18:08,128
(lMlTATES BABY COOlNG)
360
00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:10,005
Your assignment.
361
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:12,340
HOMER: (GASPS)
The Dalai Lama?
362
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:13,425
That's right.
363
00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:15,427
All his talk of
peace and love is really
364
00:18:15,511 --> 00:18:17,429
honking off
my red Chinese masters.
365
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:19,431
Now, Smithers,
walk me around the park
366
00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:21,391
until l fall asleep.
l'm feeling fussy.
367
00:18:31,027 --> 00:18:32,861
As Springfield's
youngest Buddhist,
368
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:36,198
l am deeply
honored to introduce
the Dalai Lama.
369
00:18:36,574 --> 00:18:39,367
Oh, l can't do this
in front of Lisa.
370
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:42,204
Why does she have
to believe in things?
371
00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:43,747
You have no choice.
372
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:47,167
Pie him or l'll
reveal your secret
to the world.
373
00:18:47,251 --> 00:18:49,795
And now, please welcome
the Elvis of Enlightenment,
374
00:18:49,921 --> 00:18:53,799
the lean,
serene chanting machine:
the Dalai Lama!
375
00:18:54,425 --> 00:18:55,759
(HORNS PLAYlNG)
376
00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:07,187
Greetings, fellow travelers
on the path to enlightenment.
377
00:19:08,898 --> 00:19:10,941
(ALL GASPlNG)
378
00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:12,943
Please forgive me,
talking llama.
379
00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:14,778
No, Pie Man ! Don't do it!
380
00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:17,948
Come on, Pie Man, hit him !
381
00:19:18,032 --> 00:19:20,492
That's the only
reason anyone came
to this stupid thing !
382
00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:22,911
Oh ! No, l won't!
383
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:25,747
There's only
one way l can escape
from this nightmare!
384
00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:28,375
(ALL GASP)
385
00:19:28,459 --> 00:19:31,461
Homer Simpson?
lt was him all along?
386
00:19:31,546 --> 00:19:34,297
Homer Simpson is
the Pie Man? lmpossible.
387
00:19:34,382 --> 00:19:36,675
He's never thrown away
a pastry in his life!
388
00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:41,680
His brain
isn't large enough to juggle
two contrasting personae!
389
00:19:41,764 --> 00:19:44,850
Yeah, and Homer's a dumbass.
No offense, Homer.
390
00:19:45,059 --> 00:19:46,184
You dumbass.
391
00:19:46,269 --> 00:19:48,520
l'm telling you
l'm the Pie Man.
392
00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:50,605
No, you're not.
The Pie Man could fly.
393
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,148
And spit acid.
394
00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:53,650
And animals did his bidding.
395
00:19:53,776 --> 00:19:55,026
(MUTTERlNG lN AGREEMENT)
396
00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:57,279
Well, that closes
the book on Pie Man.
397
00:19:57,363 --> 00:19:58,947
Wait a minute.
What?
398
00:19:59,073 --> 00:20:00,907
lf it wasn't Simpson,
who was it?
399
00:20:00,992 --> 00:20:02,784
lt's gonna be you
if you don't shut up.
400
00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:04,911
Dad, l think
you created a hero
401
00:20:04,996 --> 00:20:06,830
that even you
couldn't live up to.
402
00:20:07,081 --> 00:20:09,958
(CHUCKLlNG)
Yeah. Let's go home, honey.
403
00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:16,006
On to my next engagement,
Buffalo, New York.
404
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:23,555
l know one person
who believes you're
the Pie Man, Homie.
405
00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:26,057
Me. l've known it all along.
406
00:20:26,142 --> 00:20:27,225
Was it the kiss?
407
00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:29,978
No. lt was clearly
you in that suit.
408
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:33,273
You'd have to be an idiot
not to see it from the start.
409
00:20:35,276 --> 00:20:40,071
So, Pie Man,
why don't you show me
your super powers?
410
00:20:42,325 --> 00:20:43,325
Pie Man?
411
00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:46,995
Wherever injustice
shows its ugly face,
l will be there!
412
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:49,789
For l am the Pie Man !
413
00:20:49,874 --> 00:20:54,628
And wherever Pie Man is,
the Cupcake Kid
will not be far behind.
414
00:20:54,712 --> 00:20:56,379
MARGE: While you two
are up on the roof,
415
00:20:56,464 --> 00:20:58,632
why don't you take the leaves
out of the gutter!
416
00:20:58,883 --> 00:20:59,883
(BOTH GROANlNG)
417
00:21:57,900 --> 00:21:58,900
English - US - PSDH
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