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1
00:00:03,087 --> 00:00:06,297
(SlNGlNG) The Simpsons
2
00:00:06,382 --> 00:00:07,590
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
3
00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:10,551
D'oh !
4
00:00:10,761 --> 00:00:12,804
(SCREAMlNG)
(BRAKES SCREECHlNG)
5
00:00:27,152 --> 00:00:29,987
Welcome to
lecture number eight
on the water balloon.
6
00:00:30,072 --> 00:00:31,364
Yesterday l asked everyone
7
00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:34,075
to think of other liquids
you could fill a balloon with.
8
00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:35,576
Water? (GROANS)
9
00:00:35,661 --> 00:00:37,161
Thank you, Nelson.
Anyone else?
10
00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:38,287
Hot sauce.
11
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:40,665
Kearney, that could
blind someone.
12
00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:42,291
You get an A.
Mmm.
13
00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:44,836
Now for
a practical demonstration.
14
00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,713
First, we load the ordnance.
15
00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:48,881
Then select the target.
16
00:00:48,966 --> 00:00:51,801
Hmm, not Otto.
He'd drive us off a cliff.
17
00:00:52,136 --> 00:00:54,929
Off a cliff?
That would solve everything.
18
00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:56,347
(CHUCKLlNG)
19
00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:59,058
Bingo.
20
00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:10,778
Bart!
21
00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:13,281
(LAUGHlNG)
22
00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:14,490
(CHOKlNG)
23
00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:18,327
Why can't you be friends
like me and Mr. Finger?
24
00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:23,082
You've betrayed me
for the last time.
25
00:01:25,294 --> 00:01:28,796
Horseplay on a school bus?
Has the world gone mad?
26
00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:30,423
(BRAKES SCREECHlNG)
27
00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:31,841
Your stop!
28
00:01:35,179 --> 00:01:36,262
Ahhh !
29
00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:39,265
(SNOWBALL ll MEOWlNG)
30
00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:41,267
Shame on you two creeps!
31
00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:43,478
lt's your fault
for giving birth
to my archenemy!
32
00:01:43,562 --> 00:01:45,521
At least l was planned !
33
00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:46,856
(BOTH GRUNTlNG)
34
00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:50,276
Stop it!
No one was planned !
35
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:51,444
Now we have to pack
36
00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:55,406
for Great Uncle Tyrone's
birthday tomorrow in Dayton.
37
00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:57,867
Dayton, Ohio!
38
00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:59,076
(BOTH GROANlNG)
39
00:01:59,703 --> 00:02:03,956
lt's got Wright-Patterson
Air Force Base
and a zipper museum !
40
00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:06,417
They have a zipper
from every James Bond !
41
00:02:06,502 --> 00:02:07,794
Why are we even going?
42
00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:11,088
Last year,
Uncle Tyrone was
bitter and depressed.
43
00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:15,510
(SlNGlNG)
Happy birthday to you
44
00:02:15,761 --> 00:02:17,512
Why won't l die?
45
00:02:18,889 --> 00:02:22,016
We're staying at
the Dayton Arms Hotel.
46
00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:25,561
lt got three diamonds
from Five Diamond magazine!
47
00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:27,146
Please don't make us go!
48
00:02:27,231 --> 00:02:29,774
lf you make me
get on that plane,
l'll give myself diarrhea.
49
00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:31,818
l know how!
Okay, don't go!
50
00:02:31,902 --> 00:02:33,736
Just stay here
and rot with Grampa!
51
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:36,155
l'm only rotting
on the right side!
52
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,032
l'll right side you !
53
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:41,702
All right, kids.
You don't have to go.
54
00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:44,539
But l insist we do
something tonight
as a family.
55
00:02:44,623 --> 00:02:47,834
We'll play board games,
put photos in an album,
56
00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:49,961
measure how much
you've grown, and. . .
57
00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:51,838
What is your deal, anyway?
58
00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:54,507
Well, l. . . l. . .
59
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:56,425
Let's just rent a movie.
60
00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:02,223
Hmm.
Mmm-hmm.
61
00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:04,892
MOE: Oh, yeah !
That's the stuff!
62
00:03:04,977 --> 00:03:05,977
(EXClTED GASP)
63
00:03:06,061 --> 00:03:07,103
(GROANS lN DlSAPPOlNTMENT)
64
00:03:09,231 --> 00:03:10,565
(MOE CHUCKLlNG)
65
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:11,691
(GRUNTS)
66
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:14,986
Brideshead's gonna get
revisited tonight, baby.
67
00:03:15,487 --> 00:03:16,654
(MOANlNG)
68
00:03:16,989 --> 00:03:18,531
l'm sorry, sir.
69
00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:22,702
The computer says the movie
Chocolate Star Wars
doesn't exist.
70
00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:24,620
l say you don't exist!
71
00:03:26,415 --> 00:03:28,207
No, l'm right here,
under "Staff."
72
00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:31,002
What l want is
a really good weeper.
73
00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:32,378
What about Love Story?
74
00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:35,965
lt's about a Harvard chick
that puts out for
a guy and then croaks.
75
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:38,968
And it saved
Paramount Studios
for Charlie Bluhdorn.
76
00:03:39,094 --> 00:03:40,386
Ooh !
77
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:44,432
A chick flick?
Say it ain't so, Ho!
78
00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:49,937
Son, seeing sappy
movies with a lady
has certain payoffs.
79
00:03:50,022 --> 00:03:52,481
Like what?
They'll do something
with you that they hate?
80
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:53,816
Exactly.
81
00:03:54,318 --> 00:03:56,235
(SlNGlNG) Where do I begin
82
00:03:56,486 --> 00:04:00,239
To teII the story of
how great a Iove can be?
83
00:04:00,324 --> 00:04:03,659
The sweet Iove story
that is older than the sea
84
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:08,581
The simpIe something
that dum-deedle-dum-dee-dee
85
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:12,710
Now Iet's push pIay
86
00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:17,423
RYAN O'NEAL:
What can you say about
a 25-year-oId girI who died?
87
00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:20,009
BART: l say bury her
before she starts to smell !
88
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,552
(LAUGHlNG)
Bart!
89
00:04:21,637 --> 00:04:23,054
The man
asked a question.
90
00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:24,138
(GRUNTS)
91
00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:28,935
Love means never having
to say you're sorry.
92
00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:31,479
No, it doesn't.
This movie is drivel.
93
00:04:31,563 --> 00:04:33,105
She's wooden and unpleasant.
94
00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:35,942
And no matter what he does,
he's still Ryan O'Neal.
95
00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:39,153
Opinion noted.
Now if you don't mind,
96
00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:43,282
your father and l are trying
to lose ourselves in
this romantic fantasy.
97
00:04:43,367 --> 00:04:46,827
Yeah. We're trying
to create a mood here,
so shut the hell up!
98
00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:48,704
(GROWLlNG)
99
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:56,087
Homie, if l died,
would you be sad?
100
00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:57,838
Well, l wouldn't be happy.
101
00:04:57,923 --> 00:04:59,548
Oh, Homie.
102
00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:03,302
Love means never
having to say...
103
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:05,554
A whole canoe
made of baIoney?
104
00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:07,139
(LAUGHlNG)
105
00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:09,892
Bart, stop fooling
with the remote!
106
00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:11,644
Lisa made me with
a witch's spell !
107
00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:13,896
lt's called Wicca,
and it's empowering !
108
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,606
Wicca's a Hollywood fad !
109
00:05:15,691 --> 00:05:17,274
That's Kabbalah, jerk!
110
00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:18,776
(GRUNTlNG)
111
00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:21,904
Stupid kids ruin everything !
112
00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:25,616
So you're not
in the mood anymore,
are you?
113
00:05:25,701 --> 00:05:29,120
Homie,
you know l'm usually good
for a triple-X throw-down.
114
00:05:29,204 --> 00:05:32,456
But between those kids
and going to Uncle Tyrone's,
115
00:05:32,541 --> 00:05:34,333
we can't be alone.
116
00:05:34,418 --> 00:05:35,835
We're alone now.
117
00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:37,670
BART: You're never alone
in this crap shack!
118
00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:39,714
Why, you little. . .
119
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,257
(BART CHOKlNG)
120
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:48,431
(MAN COUGHlNG)
121
00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:52,309
What kind of an airline
routes all their flights
through Nome, Alaska?
122
00:05:52,394 --> 00:05:54,145
lt's their hub.
123
00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:57,148
Homie, look at them.
124
00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:59,191
(FESTlVE MUSlC PLAYlNG)
125
00:06:00,444 --> 00:06:04,405
Honeymooners.
No kids, no worries.
126
00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:06,240
Here's your future!
127
00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:07,742
(LAUGHlNG)
128
00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:09,535
Not me. l do crunches.
129
00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:11,495
Remember our honeymoon?
130
00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:15,958
(DOG HOWLlNG)
131
00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:18,419
Well, l gotta
get back to work.
132
00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:20,129
Hold that thought.
133
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,298
(RETCHlNG)
134
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:26,302
GATE ANNOUNCER:
Attention Miami passengers,
135
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,387
Suntan Airlines
is now boarding
136
00:06:28,472 --> 00:06:30,473
rows pina coIada
through daiquiri.
137
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:31,974
(CHEERlNG)
138
00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:35,853
You know, if we were
younger and crazier,
139
00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:39,398
we'd trade in these tickets
and run off to Miami.
140
00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:40,733
Marge, let's do it!
141
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:41,984
What about Uncle Tyrone?
142
00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:43,736
We got one weekend
to ourselves
143
00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:47,281
and we gotta spend it
watching some old geezer's
odometer turn over?
144
00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:50,367
As the Bible says,
"Screw that!"
145
00:06:51,953 --> 00:06:53,162
We don't have
boarding passes,
146
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:54,538
but we need to
get on that plane
147
00:06:54,623 --> 00:06:56,540
for reasons that
are utterly insane!
148
00:06:56,625 --> 00:06:59,668
Go ahead.
What do l care? l'm getting
laid off tomorrow.
149
00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:01,796
(BOTH GlGGLlNG)
150
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:06,342
We're ditching
our kids and taking
a second honeymoon !
151
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:07,635
(CHEERlNG)
152
00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:11,013
And we're blowing off
Uncle Tyrone's birthday!
153
00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:12,598
(CHEERlNG LOUDER)
154
00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:14,850
You guys are
such party animals,
155
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:17,686
we're gonna skip
the safety check
and just take off!
156
00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:19,355
(CHEERlNG LOUDLY)
157
00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:26,278
l'm afraid we've
overbooked this flight.
158
00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:29,740
(SlGHS) So much
for getting my groove back.
159
00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:31,742
So we're upgrading you
to first class.
160
00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:34,120
There's a first class?
161
00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:39,750
Sir, what would
you like for dinner?
A steak or two steaks?
162
00:07:39,835 --> 00:07:40,876
Can l have both?
163
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:41,961
Of course.
164
00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:45,673
This is so luxurious.
165
00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:49,969
l feel like
l'm Princess Grace and
Princess Di smashed together.
166
00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:52,680
And look at me.
l'm reading The Economist.
167
00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:55,933
Did you know lndonesia
is at a crossroads?
168
00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:57,017
No.
169
00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:58,102
lt is.
170
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:00,104
KENT: I guess
you couId caII him
171
00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:01,939
the little tortoise
that couldn't.
172
00:08:02,023 --> 00:08:04,358
See our website
for the recipe.
173
00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:06,110
This just in,
a monster tornado
174
00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:07,778
is tearing
through Dayton, Ohio!
175
00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:10,156
(GASPlNG) That's where
Mom and Dad are!
176
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:11,740
KENT: Looks Iike
the twister is headed
177
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,284
right for
the Dayton Arms HoteI!
178
00:08:15,579 --> 00:08:16,620
ALL: Ahhh !
179
00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:22,960
They might not be dead.
They could be
in the basement.
180
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:32,553
l'm an orphan.
181
00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:34,763
l'm a legal guardian.
(PHONE RlNGlNG)
182
00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:39,560
How can l be a parent?
l break my teeth
on ribbon candy.
183
00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:40,769
(ABE MOANlNG)
184
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:44,023
Quiet, Grampa.
Hello? Mom?
185
00:08:44,107 --> 00:08:46,984
Hi, sweetie.
We're just calling
to check in.
186
00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:48,777
Where are you?
Are you okay?
187
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,654
Right here in Dayton.
188
00:08:50,739 --> 00:08:51,947
(GlGGLlNG)
189
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:54,158
At the Dayton Arms Hotel?
190
00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:56,160
Yup. lt's really boring.
191
00:08:56,244 --> 00:08:58,287
You kids would've hated it.
192
00:08:58,413 --> 00:08:59,747
(GlGGLlNG)
193
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:01,749
So how's
the weather in Dayton?
194
00:09:01,833 --> 00:09:05,211
Oh, you know,
typical boring
Dayton weather.
195
00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:06,420
(MOANlNG)
196
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:08,714
Hey, do l hear a backrub?
197
00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:15,054
No. No, that's the noise
the phone makes when
you've been on too long.
198
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:17,056
Bye now. Love you.
199
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:19,183
Something's fishy.
They're not in Dayton.
200
00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:20,726
They're somewhere fun.
201
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,228
We're not
enough fun for them?
202
00:09:22,312 --> 00:09:24,605
Well, l know how to find out
where they are.
203
00:09:27,484 --> 00:09:29,526
HOTEL OPERATOR:
Swelldorado Hotel
Miami Beach,
204
00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:31,695
sun and water
without your
son and daughter.
205
00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,489
How may I direct your caII?
(SLAMS RECElVER DOWN)
206
00:09:33,949 --> 00:09:38,827
l can't go to Miami !
l'm expecting calls
from telemarketers!
207
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:42,498
You'll love it.
lt's full of sexy old widows
who don't want to die alone.
208
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:45,834
(EXCLAlMS EXClTEDLY)
All right, ladies,
get ready to settle!
209
00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:50,756
Boy, it's great being here
without those
children of yours.
210
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,384
Yeah. l've never sat
by a pool this long
211
00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:55,928
without having to
apologize to someone.
212
00:09:56,012 --> 00:10:00,349
And tonight,
we'll finally and
romantically hump.
213
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:03,102
Here's to life
without children.
214
00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:05,312
Well, we can't wait
to have kids.
215
00:10:06,064 --> 00:10:07,648
(LAUGHlNG HEARTlLY)
216
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:09,525
"Can't wait."
217
00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:14,863
Seriously.
With the new breast pumps
and Diaper Genies,
218
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:18,200
and corporate flex-time,
child-rearing
ought to be a snap.
219
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,369
(LAUGHlNG HYSTERlCALLY)
220
00:10:21,079 --> 00:10:22,830
You keep thinking that.
221
00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:26,625
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
222
00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:29,295
We're here!
And it's a good thing, too.
223
00:10:29,379 --> 00:10:32,464
The car's been
driving funny since Orlando.
224
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,341
(GRUNTlNG)
225
00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:38,220
Everything happens to E-more.
226
00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:43,267
Let's go find Mom and Dad.
227
00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:44,977
First, let's slap on
some Band-Aids
228
00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:46,645
so they feel really
bad for ditching us.
229
00:10:48,023 --> 00:10:51,275
Time to find a woman
who needs some TLC.
230
00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:53,402
A Tired Liver-spotted Coot.
231
00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:55,446
(UPBEAT MUSlC PLAYlNG)
232
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,086
(HONKlNG)
233
00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:13,881
(RAP MUSlC PLAYlNG)
234
00:11:17,552 --> 00:11:18,844
A-blowin' reveille
235
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:22,181
He's the boogie woogie
bugle boy of Company B
236
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,225
Check out the well-aged beef.
237
00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:28,187
No scar. He must be
on his first heart!
238
00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:30,689
l wouldn't kick him
out of bed for dying.
239
00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:31,940
(PURRS)
240
00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,943
Hey, handsome,
pull up a donut
and sit down.
241
00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:38,364
Hey, ladies.
l used to be in movies.
242
00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:40,157
(ALL REACTlNG lN AWE)
243
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:41,950
You know those
feet sticking out
244
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,702
from under the house
in The Wizard of Oz?
245
00:11:43,787 --> 00:11:44,953
You're looking at 'em.
246
00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:47,414
ALL: Ew!
247
00:11:54,089 --> 00:11:56,215
(SlNGlNG) Come on, everybody
have some sexuaI congress
248
00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:58,634
Not the kind of Congress
that contained PauI Tsongas
249
00:11:58,718 --> 00:11:59,718
(GASPlNG)
250
00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:02,638
The kids tracked us down !
251
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:03,806
Oh !
252
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:08,102
Our romantic holiday
just became a stinking
family vacation.
253
00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:10,312
Marge,
l won't let that happen.
254
00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:14,108
We have to grab this chance
for romance now or
we'll never be alone!
255
00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:17,820
Not till Lisa's in college
and we've lost contact
with Bart!
256
00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:20,781
You're right.
But where do we go?
257
00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:24,368
l've got a card
that can take us
anywhere in the world.
258
00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:30,791
MARGE: Step on it!
259
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:34,086
Those horn dogs!
They ditched us again !
260
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:35,337
You know what this means?
261
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:37,965
We have a free
hotel room in Miami
for two days?
262
00:12:38,049 --> 00:12:40,759
No. We're gonna follow them
across this great land
263
00:12:40,844 --> 00:12:43,679
making sure they don't have
one moment of fun.
264
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:46,223
And l have a card
that can take us
anywhere they go.
265
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:57,151
l'm sorry. We're not
supposed to give out
passengers' itineraries.
266
00:12:57,235 --> 00:12:59,820
l understand.
Hey, what's that
crazy girl doing?
267
00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:03,615
l'm going into
the Gold Medallion Club
with Silver Level Membership!
268
00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:05,701
(LAUGHlNG EVlLLY)
269
00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:07,828
The hell you are!
270
00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:09,037
(COCKS GUN)
271
00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:14,960
So Mom and Dad
are going to Atlantic City.
But their luggage isn't.
272
00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:16,295
(CHUCKLlNG)
273
00:13:16,379 --> 00:13:18,255
And Homer's
getting a low-fat meal.
274
00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:20,674
HOMER: No!
275
00:13:22,343 --> 00:13:25,637
You're more
boring than my husband.
And he's dead.
276
00:13:25,722 --> 00:13:27,764
Well, l bet l smell better.
277
00:13:27,849 --> 00:13:29,475
At the moment,
it's about even.
278
00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:33,061
l can't wait till
we bury the last
of you Hepburn types.
279
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:34,188
Really!
(MOANlNG)
280
00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:37,024
Perhaps l can help.
281
00:13:37,108 --> 00:13:42,321
l have a penthouse
from which you can see
all the way to Epcot.
282
00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:45,157
lf you take a woman there,
she will be yours.
283
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:46,283
Hot-diggity!
284
00:13:46,868 --> 00:13:48,243
lndeed. l am Raoul.
285
00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:52,080
While we walk,
may l place my hand
286
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:54,333
on your shoulder as
a sign of friendship?
287
00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:55,501
Why not?
288
00:14:03,968 --> 00:14:07,012
Homie, people in
the other elevators
can see us.
289
00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:08,931
Oh, yeah.
Like people in New Jersey
290
00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:10,807
have never seen
a fat man making out.
291
00:14:10,892 --> 00:14:12,768
lt's on
the freakin' state flag.
292
00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:16,438
Oh, my God. Homie, look!
293
00:14:19,317 --> 00:14:23,779
That boy failed
show-and-tell, but he's on
our ass like Sherlock Holmes.
294
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:26,740
Hey, how you doing?
295
00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:29,326
l'm fighting a white rhino
today at the Tropicana.
296
00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:32,788
Shows at 2:00,
4:00, 6:00, 8:00, 1 0:00,
and midnight.
297
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:34,248
Check it out. Come on.
298
00:14:34,332 --> 00:14:36,708
Hey, kids,
l'm tying balloons
on the boardwalk
299
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:39,294
at 3:00, 5:00, 7:00,
9:00, and 1 1 :00.
300
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:41,588
Check it out. Come on,
don't be ridiculous.
301
00:14:41,673 --> 00:14:42,839
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
302
00:14:45,593 --> 00:14:47,803
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSlC PLAYlNG)
303
00:16:03,254 --> 00:16:04,588
(SNORlNG)
304
00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:07,466
(KNOCKlNG ON DOOR)
305
00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:08,800
Occupied !
306
00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:10,427
(RESUMES SNORlNG)
307
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:15,807
Okay, Raoul, let's go
meet some senoritas.
308
00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:18,018
Grampa, l must confess,
309
00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:20,479
l am not as
interested in women
310
00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:22,939
as my open shirt
might suggest.
311
00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:25,108
To be frank,
they disgust me.
312
00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:26,151
Uh-oh !
313
00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:29,279
Yes. Now let us enjoy
one of your rambling,
314
00:16:29,364 --> 00:16:33,325
disjointed,
yet somehow erotic tales.
315
00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:36,495
Are you gonna go
lavender on me?
316
00:16:36,579 --> 00:16:37,704
We shall see, uh?
317
00:16:38,081 --> 00:16:40,999
But l promise you
l will treasure every word
318
00:16:41,084 --> 00:16:43,627
that drops from
your beautiful lips.
319
00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:46,546
Really? You're sweet.
320
00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:49,591
Proceed.
321
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:52,094
For many years,
l was a tater farmer.
322
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:56,098
But the shameful truth is
the taters farmed me.
323
00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:58,892
Your neck skin
dances when you speak.
324
00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:03,438
At last we're alone.
325
00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:07,609
(SCATTlNG)
326
00:17:11,114 --> 00:17:13,198
Homie, the waiter's
still here.
327
00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:14,616
Oh. Right.
328
00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:17,786
Thank you, sir.
329
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:22,457
(CHUCKLlNG)
330
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:25,961
And now, my darling,
it's finally time
for romance.
331
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,964
But before the intercourse,
the dinner course!
332
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,048
Busted !
333
00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:31,341
You guys lied to us!
334
00:17:31,426 --> 00:17:32,551
You probably
do this all the time.
335
00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:35,387
This whole family
is built on a tissue
of lies and romance.
336
00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:38,056
Yeah, it's a tissue
covered in blood
and boogers!
337
00:17:38,141 --> 00:17:40,642
Would you two
just shut up!
338
00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:42,394
Sure, we lied.
339
00:17:42,478 --> 00:17:45,897
We lied so we could
spend a single night
as a married couple
340
00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:47,941
without worrying
about you kids.
341
00:17:48,025 --> 00:17:50,235
Those days are over.
Give it up.
342
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:51,403
(SlGHlNG)
343
00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:53,363
You win, kids.
344
00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:54,781
Just sleep here tonight
345
00:17:54,866 --> 00:17:57,909
and we'll all go back
to Springfield tomorrow.
346
00:17:57,994 --> 00:17:59,536
Great! What do you
want to play?
347
00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:02,622
How about the floor
is made of lava?
348
00:18:02,707 --> 00:18:04,291
(BOTH LAUGHlNG)
349
00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:10,088
All l wanted was
a second honeymoon
350
00:18:10,173 --> 00:18:12,674
and now the floor
is made of lava.
351
00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:17,596
Lise, you awake?
352
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,014
Yeah, l can't sleep.
353
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:21,850
Maybe we should give
Mom and Dad a break,
you know?
354
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:24,770
Go spend the day
at an amusement park
so we're out of their hair.
355
00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:27,397
Yeah, l agree.
l mean, you are
pretty annoying.
356
00:18:27,482 --> 00:18:29,441
l guess the hunt was more fun
than the catch.
357
00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:31,067
Hey, l just zinged you !
358
00:18:31,152 --> 00:18:33,403
l know. My new thing
is to ignore you.
359
00:18:35,406 --> 00:18:37,866
When you grow up,
l'll be outside.
360
00:18:39,744 --> 00:18:41,703
l'm grown up! l'm grown up!
361
00:18:44,081 --> 00:18:45,332
(RATTLlNG)
362
00:18:45,416 --> 00:18:47,125
l knew if we got up
early enough,
363
00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:48,919
we could sneak away
from Bart and Lisa.
364
00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:52,172
Kids don't beat me.
l beat kids.
365
00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:54,800
And nobody does it better.
366
00:18:58,054 --> 00:18:59,095
(ALL YELLlNG)
367
00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:01,306
You monsters!
You followed us!
368
00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:04,226
No. You don't understand.
We came here to give
you some privacy. . .
369
00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:06,269
We understand
perfectly well.
370
00:19:06,354 --> 00:19:08,230
Let me finish my sentence!
Never!
371
00:19:09,899 --> 00:19:10,941
This way!
372
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:13,193
Quick! We can hide in here!
373
00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:14,528
l don't know.
374
00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:16,488
Homie, why don't
we just go home,
375
00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:19,574
wait till
the kids fall asleep,
and have sex in the car?
376
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:22,202
Because l was saving
that for my birthday!
377
00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:23,703
Now come on.
378
00:19:26,582 --> 00:19:28,208
(GlGGLlNG)
379
00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:33,964
This must be what
it's like to be in space.
380
00:19:34,048 --> 00:19:35,841
You've been to space.
381
00:19:35,925 --> 00:19:38,760
And yet l've never
been to me.
382
00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:39,928
(GlGGLlNG CONTlNUES)
383
00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:45,100
HOMER: That sliding
should stop soon.
384
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:46,893
This rolling is
just temporary.
385
00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:49,020
Ah !
386
00:19:49,105 --> 00:19:50,272
That's better.
387
00:19:50,773 --> 00:19:54,109
So why do
they call this place
Niagara Falls, anyway?
388
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:57,279
BOTH: Ahhh !
389
00:19:57,446 --> 00:19:59,072
(SlRENS WAlLlNG)
390
00:19:59,407 --> 00:20:01,324
Back off, Canadians!
We got 'em.
391
00:20:01,409 --> 00:20:04,995
You back off, hosers.
They're in
Canadian waters, eh?
392
00:20:05,079 --> 00:20:07,873
Beat it,
you puck-sIapping
mapIe-suckers!
393
00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:11,668
Take a hike,
you Shatner-stealing
Mexico-touchers!
394
00:20:14,964 --> 00:20:16,089
SKlPPERS: How about that?
395
00:20:16,424 --> 00:20:19,843
Oh ! Marge,
l guess we'll just have
to make love in Heaven.
396
00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:21,553
l bet it always
works up there.
397
00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:24,389
Shut up and kiss me,
you doomed hunk!
398
00:20:34,317 --> 00:20:36,568
Ahoy, moon bounce!
399
00:20:36,652 --> 00:20:38,403
Is anyone aIive?
400
00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:42,198
More alive than
any of you squares!
401
00:20:42,366 --> 00:20:44,075
(GlGGLlNG DAZEDLY)
402
00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:48,747
(GlGGLlNG)
403
00:20:49,332 --> 00:20:50,624
HOMER: You're on my hair!
404
00:20:50,708 --> 00:20:52,000
Oh, that's better.
405
00:20:52,668 --> 00:20:56,588
Well, it looks like
everything worked out
just fine for everybody.
406
00:20:57,590 --> 00:21:00,008
Credit card bill seems
a little chunky this month.
407
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:03,511
Let's see what's going
on vis-a-vis the Viza.
408
00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:05,013
This. . . Ahhh !
409
00:21:05,848 --> 00:21:07,015
Ahhh !
410
00:21:59,777 --> 00:22:00,777
English - US - PSDH
29513
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