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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,253 --> 00:00:06,339 (SlNGlNG) The Simpsons 2 00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:11,135 (SCHOOL BELL RlNGlNG) 3 00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:12,345 (TlRES SCREECHlNG) 4 00:00:14,598 --> 00:00:15,598 D'oh ! 5 00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,934 (SCREAMlNG) (TlRES SCREECHlNG) 6 00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:23,856 (ALSO SPRACH ZARATHUSTRA PLAYlNG) 7 00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:02,895 Wow! 8 00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:22,623 The WiId DingIeberries? 9 00:01:22,708 --> 00:01:26,627 lt's a movie version of a cartoon family you can see for free on TV. 10 00:01:26,712 --> 00:01:28,963 But they stretched out the plot and added a wildebeest 11 00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:30,047 from the hood ! 12 00:01:30,132 --> 00:01:31,257 l am so there! 13 00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:33,926 Sorry, pally. The DingIeberries are sold out. 14 00:01:34,178 --> 00:01:37,513 But looking at you, l'm sure your kids are used to disappointment. 15 00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,599 How about Diet Coke: The Movie? Sold out. 16 00:01:39,683 --> 00:01:40,767 President Air Bud: Tail to the Chief? 17 00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:41,893 Sorry. 18 00:01:41,977 --> 00:01:43,936 My Big Fat Greek Salad? Not a movie. 19 00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:46,606 The only movies starting now are The Re-Deadening 20 00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:48,357 and Teenage Sex Wager. 21 00:01:48,484 --> 00:01:52,278 Ooh ! Well, l am curious to see if those teens lose their virginity. 22 00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:54,322 And the wager only sweetens the deal. 23 00:01:54,406 --> 00:01:57,867 Mr. Simpson, that movie is condemned by our church's movie guide. 24 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:00,369 (HOMER READlNG) 25 00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:03,581 Refresh my memory. These dweebs are with us, why? 26 00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:05,708 Because Mr. Flanders volunteered to 27 00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:07,835 take the senior citizens out for ice cream. 28 00:02:10,214 --> 00:02:11,339 Mmm. . . Ow! 29 00:02:11,423 --> 00:02:13,216 This ice cream's too cold ! 30 00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:15,426 Ow! l cut myself on the cone! 31 00:02:15,511 --> 00:02:16,511 (CHUCKLlNG) 32 00:02:16,595 --> 00:02:18,137 Now, now, remember why we're here. 33 00:02:18,222 --> 00:02:20,556 To celebrate Jasper's birthday. 34 00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:21,891 (SlGHlNG) 35 00:02:22,226 --> 00:02:23,518 Birthday? 36 00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:25,061 (SlREN BLARlNG) 37 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,312 (SENlORS GASPlNG) 38 00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:30,483 Yo, yo, yo! Give it up for M.C. Birthday! 39 00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:32,652 (SlNGlNG) I say a birth, a day, a birth-a-de-day 40 00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:34,904 Now my good time gang wiII bIow you away 41 00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:37,073 (ALL SCREAMlNG) 42 00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:41,160 Never leave the day room. Never leave the day room. 43 00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:43,246 Never leave the day room. 44 00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:44,872 Okay, kids. Forget the movie. 45 00:02:44,957 --> 00:02:47,416 We'll just go to the furniture store and sit down. 46 00:02:47,751 --> 00:02:49,252 Two for The Re-Deadening, please. 47 00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:50,336 Huh? 48 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:52,046 The Re-Deadening? ls that any good? 49 00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:55,007 Good? l'm in it. l had a small speaking role. 50 00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:57,844 Yeah. l went to visit him and was banned from the set. 51 00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,971 Mr. Leonard, how do you get in a movie? 52 00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:02,098 Ha! Classic Hollywood story. 53 00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:04,725 The director saw my photo in a medical book. 54 00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:06,894 Hey, Lenny. ls your film appropriate for kids? 55 00:03:06,979 --> 00:03:08,896 Oh, yeah. There are lots of kids in it. 56 00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:10,731 They fall victim to a vicious. . . 57 00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:13,025 (lNTERRUPTlNG) Don't ruin it for me! 58 00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:16,237 One adult and four children for The Re-Deadening. 59 00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:23,244 CHlLD'S VOlCE: La, la, la, la, la, la, la 60 00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:26,581 What's that, Baby Button-Eyes? 61 00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:28,499 You want me to kill Mummy? 62 00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:29,792 (GASPS) 63 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,545 But Mummy is ever so kind. 64 00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:33,796 What? 65 00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:37,717 Your buttons came from the trousers of a psychotic killer? 66 00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:40,344 Then l have no choice. 67 00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:41,888 (WlND BLOWlNG) 68 00:03:41,972 --> 00:03:42,972 (SCREAMS) 69 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,516 (BOTH SCREAMlNG) 70 00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:48,728 Hey, l paid for this popcorn, and l'm eating it. 71 00:03:50,314 --> 00:03:53,065 Mr. Simpson, l'm scared. 72 00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:54,233 (LAUGHlNG) 73 00:03:54,318 --> 00:03:57,278 Relax, stupid. 74 00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:59,655 Everything you see is make-believe. 75 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,824 Although it is based on a true story. 76 00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:04,827 Some of which happened in this very theater. 77 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,333 Oh, oh ! Here comes my part! 78 00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:17,506 Baby Button-Eyes! What are you doing possessed at this hour? 79 00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:19,342 l'd better tell the governess. . . 80 00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:20,593 (GROWLS) 81 00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:23,429 Oh ! God ! The prophecy has been fulfilled ! 82 00:04:23,555 --> 00:04:25,097 (SCREAMlNG) 83 00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:31,020 The buttons look like they're sewn to my eyes. 84 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:33,397 But they're really held on with hot wax. 85 00:04:33,565 --> 00:04:35,608 Dad, l don't like this movie. 86 00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:36,817 Can we go home? 87 00:04:36,902 --> 00:04:40,863 Oh, honey, don't be scared. Look, they killed the evil doll. 88 00:04:41,073 --> 00:04:43,699 (MAN SCREAMlNG ON SCREEN) 89 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:44,784 (WHlMPERlNG) 90 00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:46,953 Well, what do you know? lt's unkillable. 91 00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:48,204 (WHlMPERS) 92 00:04:48,372 --> 00:04:51,248 Honey, can Daddy rest his soda on your head? 93 00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:52,416 Mmm-hmm. 94 00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:54,043 That's my girl. 95 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:03,511 You took little children to The Re-Deadening? 96 00:05:03,595 --> 00:05:07,098 Homer, this is a rare lapse in judgment for you. 97 00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:09,392 But scaring kids is good for them. 98 00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,644 lt hardens them against future terrors, 99 00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:13,980 like roofing and driveway scams. 100 00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:16,148 CHlLD'S VOlCE: La, la, la, la... 101 00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:17,900 (BOTH SCREAMlNG) 102 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:21,153 Oh, sorry. l forgot l bought the soundtrack album. 103 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,907 Honey, l know you're scared. 104 00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:28,703 But there's no boogie woogies or wooly bullies out there. 105 00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:34,709 Oh. Your nightlight's burned out. 106 00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:37,545 And the only bulbs we have left are these red ones. 107 00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:47,221 lt was only a movie filmed in Vancouver 108 00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:48,764 with Donald Sutherland as the priest 109 00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,141 who stopped believing. . . 110 00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:51,684 (LOUD BANGlNG) 111 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:54,186 Ah ! 112 00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:57,481 (MALE VOlCE GROWLlNG) 113 00:06:00,736 --> 00:06:04,780 Both of us heard mysterious noises coming from this very spot. 114 00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:08,868 Bart and l will explore the attic until we find their source. 115 00:06:08,952 --> 00:06:10,202 (LOUD CREAKlNG) 116 00:06:10,287 --> 00:06:11,328 (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) 117 00:06:11,413 --> 00:06:14,040 Must be the pipes. What do you think, Bart? 118 00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:15,541 l think you're on your own, toots! 119 00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:17,126 (GASPlNG FEARFULLY) 120 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:22,590 Okay. l'll just stay calm and approach this scientifically. 121 00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:23,716 (LOUD BANGlNG) 122 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,217 Oh, God ! Oh, God ! 123 00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:27,553 (CRYlNG) Oh, no! 124 00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:31,223 lf l don't make it out alive, l love you, Mom and Dad. 125 00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:33,225 Maggie, you can have my books. 126 00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:37,354 And Bart, l'll see you in hell, you booger-eating wuss! 127 00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:39,690 That's right! We all know! 128 00:06:39,775 --> 00:06:40,733 (CRUNCHlNG) 129 00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,651 Ah ! Bones! 130 00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:48,699 Copyright Pink Pony Productions. 131 00:06:48,784 --> 00:06:50,743 Visit us on the web at lisathemovie.com. 132 00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:51,827 Ah ! 133 00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:54,705 (MUSlC PLAYlNG ON TV) 134 00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:59,085 Homie, that Kojak is sexier than Cannon 135 00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:01,629 and Barnaby Jones put together. 136 00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:04,673 l think he looks a little like you. 137 00:07:04,883 --> 00:07:07,802 (CHUCKLlNG) Who loves ya, baby? 138 00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:12,431 How about a little interrogation? 139 00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:15,768 Okay. You have the right to remain sexy. 140 00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:17,937 Anything you touch can and will be 141 00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:19,980 held against you in a court of sex. 142 00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:22,066 lf you cannot afford a sex-torney. . . 143 00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:23,692 (MOANlNG) 144 00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:27,279 Mom, Dad, there's a ghost in the house! 145 00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:30,282 Good. Can you play with him for half an hour? 146 00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:31,700 Oh ! 147 00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,536 l don't see any ghosts. 148 00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:36,122 l did find this Newsweek from 1 986. 149 00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:38,165 Why America loves Saddam Hussein. 150 00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,376 (EERlE WHlSTLlNG) 151 00:07:41,545 --> 00:07:42,878 That's it! 152 00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:45,923 lt's one thing for a ghost to terrorize my children ! 153 00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:49,009 But quite another for him to play my theremin ! 154 00:07:51,555 --> 00:07:53,639 (WHlSTLlNG CONTlNUES) 155 00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:10,406 Hello, Simpsons. 156 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,032 Artie Ziff! 157 00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:13,492 None other! 158 00:08:13,577 --> 00:08:15,494 l've been hiding in your attic 159 00:08:15,579 --> 00:08:18,539 living off the moisture l can suck from the rafters! 160 00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,333 l thought we killed him ! 161 00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:22,543 No, we didn't. 162 00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:25,337 But l did delete him from my bulk e-mail list. 163 00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:27,256 No, you didn't. That's right. 164 00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:29,008 Twice a week, l get your e-mail 165 00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:30,676 of the monkey peeing in his own mouth. 166 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:32,469 Oh, yeah. (CHUCKLlNG) 167 00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:35,472 That monkey got America through some tough times. 168 00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:45,566 Artie Ziff! Why are you living in our attic? 169 00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:46,942 Let me explain. 170 00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:49,111 l was an lnternet billionaire. 171 00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:50,321 Say no more. 172 00:08:50,405 --> 00:08:52,781 l would stop, but l love my voice. 173 00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:55,326 ARTlE: It was the go-go '90s. 174 00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:04,668 And I was partying with Newt Gingrich, Janeane Garofalo 175 00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:06,212 and Scottie Pippen. 176 00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:08,505 Everyone Ioved my corporation. 177 00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:12,301 And then, the bubble burst. 178 00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:15,221 Wait! Don't go! 179 00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:18,474 My stock will have a slight rebound in 2003. 180 00:09:18,642 --> 00:09:20,142 I had nothing. 181 00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:27,524 (TlRES SCREECHlNG) 182 00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:29,860 They even took my repo vans. 183 00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:33,072 l had nowhere to go. 184 00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:35,658 So l came here because Marge is the closest thing 185 00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:37,284 l've ever had to true love. 186 00:09:37,369 --> 00:09:40,913 We had one date! And you were not a gentleman ! 187 00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,081 (GRUMBLES) 188 00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:43,207 ARTlE: Oh. 189 00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:46,502 Don't worry. lf you let me stay, l'll be on my best behavior. 190 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:49,338 Not even a fresh remark, except this one. 191 00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:53,634 Wowie, wow, wow, wow! Zazooga! 192 00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,637 Well, l don't know, Artie. 193 00:09:56,805 --> 00:10:00,182 Forgive me. l'm just so envious of the happiness you all have. 194 00:10:00,684 --> 00:10:02,351 Can l please be part of it? 195 00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,645 Just till l get back on my feet? 196 00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:07,815 No way! He's an annoying sneak who's out to steal my wife! 197 00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:10,150 Come on, Dad. With his brains and your musky smell, 198 00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:11,777 l've got a full male role model. 199 00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:14,488 And it would be nice to have someone here l can beat up. 200 00:10:14,572 --> 00:10:17,533 Ow! No fair! l'm telling. 201 00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:19,451 (LAUGHlNG) 202 00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:21,120 Okay, kids. You can keep him. 203 00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:22,705 Yay! 204 00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:23,789 (GROANlNG) 205 00:10:24,416 --> 00:10:26,709 "When she pressed her lips to his forehead 206 00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:29,044 "and walked out with Denise and Gary 207 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,921 "into the warm spring night, 208 00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:34,133 "she felt that nothing could kill her hope now." 209 00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:35,551 Nothing ! 210 00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:38,512 Ah. Thanks for reading me The Corrections. 211 00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:41,015 lt makes me feel better about my own family. 212 00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:42,391 Doesn't your father ever read to you? 213 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:43,559 He tried once. 214 00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:46,228 But he got confused and thought the book was real. 215 00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:48,814 He's still looking for that chocolate factory. 216 00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:50,524 lt consumes him. 217 00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:55,612 Hey, Mom, can l sleep over at Milhouse's? 218 00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:57,573 l thought you were playing catch with Artie. 219 00:10:57,699 --> 00:11:00,409 Yeah. But after the ice cream man cut up his credit card, 220 00:11:00,535 --> 00:11:01,744 he got a little depressed. 221 00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:05,956 Oh, my! 222 00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:08,751 Well, Homer, maybe you should take him to Moe's. 223 00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:10,794 Come on, little fella. 224 00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:12,755 You're hanging with me tonight. 225 00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:19,762 Guys, l'd like you to meet Artie Ziff. 226 00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:21,805 Hello, handsome! 227 00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:22,973 Hello! 228 00:11:23,058 --> 00:11:24,058 Losers. 229 00:11:24,768 --> 00:11:27,269 KENT: Coming up. Can yodeling cure cancer? 230 00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:30,272 Of course not. But first, where is Artie Ziff? 231 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:31,357 (GASPS) 232 00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:33,817 The SEC wants to know. 233 00:11:34,069 --> 00:11:37,154 lt seems Ziff Corp. spent stockhoIders' money on everything 234 00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:38,989 from marble toothbrushes 235 00:11:39,074 --> 00:11:40,532 to soIid goId underpants. 236 00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:45,662 Small investors have been wiped out. 237 00:11:45,789 --> 00:11:48,290 l lost all me "screw you" money. 238 00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:50,459 l'm very sorry to hear that, Willie. 239 00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:51,543 Screw you ! 240 00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:53,003 Authorities are currentIy operating 241 00:11:53,088 --> 00:11:54,421 under the theory that Ziff is Iiving 242 00:11:54,506 --> 00:11:56,298 in a cave somewhere. 243 00:11:58,218 --> 00:11:59,385 He's not in here, Chief. 244 00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:01,095 That's some good speIunking, Lou. 245 00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:03,180 Mighty fine speIunking. 246 00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:09,978 Okay, read 'em and weep. 247 00:12:10,105 --> 00:12:11,438 l don't know why l'm losing. 248 00:12:11,523 --> 00:12:13,941 Maybe l have some kind of "tell." 249 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:17,152 Hot mamma, l'm living in flushtown ! 250 00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:19,405 Population Artie! 251 00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:23,492 Uh, l guess l'm in for 50 cents. 252 00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:24,785 l fold. Me, too. 253 00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:26,078 l'm out. l'm done. 254 00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:30,916 l'll see your 50 cents and raise you $1 . 255 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,000 Whoa! 256 00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:36,004 Well, l'm out of cash. 257 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:37,881 But would you accept 98% 258 00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:39,716 of the outstanding shares of Ziff Corp. stock? 259 00:12:39,801 --> 00:12:41,844 And the peanuts in your mouth. 260 00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:42,928 Very well. 261 00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:44,555 (HACKlNG COUGH) 262 00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:46,140 All of them. 263 00:12:46,349 --> 00:12:47,349 (HACKlNG COUGH) 264 00:12:47,851 --> 00:12:49,852 Flush. What have you got? 265 00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:51,520 Four Jacks. 266 00:12:53,148 --> 00:12:55,941 (LAUGHlNG) 267 00:12:56,025 --> 00:12:59,486 Check it out. l own a multinational corporation. 268 00:12:59,863 --> 00:13:01,447 (LAUGHlNG) 269 00:13:01,531 --> 00:13:04,241 l always knew someday l'd be a C.O. D. 270 00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:05,451 (GLASS SHATTERlNG) 271 00:13:06,077 --> 00:13:08,454 Freeze! Securities and Exchange Commission ! 272 00:13:09,247 --> 00:13:12,958 Artie Ziff, you're wanted for stock manipulation and securities fraud. 273 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:15,836 lt's scum like you that undermine investor confidence. 274 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,672 lnvestor confidence? Perhaps this affects me? 275 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:21,717 l own 230 million shares of Ziff Corp. stock. 276 00:13:21,843 --> 00:13:23,635 You're the majority shareholder? 277 00:13:23,845 --> 00:13:26,972 l sure am. With all the inherent legal liabilities. 278 00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:28,098 (GUNS COCKlNG) 279 00:13:28,183 --> 00:13:29,766 Hey, what are you. . . You're under arrest. 280 00:13:29,893 --> 00:13:31,727 Wait a minute. How can you arrest Homer? 281 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:34,980 This guy's the one what done the thing that why you're here for. 282 00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:37,316 l'm talking malfeasance here. 283 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:38,984 All right. l admit it. 284 00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:41,320 l did run Ziff Corp. into the ground. 285 00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:45,407 And this man took me into his home when no one else would. 286 00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:48,660 And now as the result of his brilliant card playing, 287 00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:49,828 he's the one you want! 288 00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:50,913 (GASPlNG) 289 00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:52,831 Tape his mouth so he can't deny it! 290 00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:55,292 Don't tell my kids l'm going to jail ! 291 00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:57,211 Tell them l joined the Blue Man Group! 292 00:13:57,295 --> 00:13:58,921 l'm the fat one! 293 00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:07,513 WOMAN: Homer Simpson, 294 00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:09,181 how do you respond to the charge that 295 00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:11,600 your company has betrayed the public trust? 296 00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:13,185 (WHlSPERlNG lNAUDlBLY) 297 00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:14,269 Plead the Fifth Amend. . . What? 298 00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:15,437 (WHlSPERlNG lNAUDlBLY) 299 00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:17,523 Refuse to answer on the grounds that l. . . What? 300 00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:18,607 (WHlSPERlNG lNAUDlBLY) 301 00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:20,442 lnseminate myself? 302 00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:24,446 (QUlETLY) Dudes, l think this guy's coming on to me. 303 00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:26,031 You, sir, are a moron ! 304 00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:28,075 A Mormon? But l'm from earth ! 305 00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:30,077 Oh, for heaven sakes! 306 00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:32,788 Your majesty, can l go home now? 307 00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:36,625 Your company's crimes have left a scar on this great nation. 308 00:14:36,751 --> 00:14:39,044 And she was so beautiful. 309 00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:41,213 But what man would want her now? 310 00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:43,131 MAN: l wouldn't want her. . . KRUSTY: Yeah, she was hot. 311 00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:47,386 My husband's going to jail, and it's all your fault! 312 00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:50,013 Do you know why no one likes you? 313 00:14:50,181 --> 00:14:51,348 Anti-Semitism? 314 00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:52,683 No! 315 00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:56,353 Your problem is you never think of anyone besides yourself. 316 00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:59,815 Marge, l think about a lot more than just moi. 317 00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:02,067 (SlNGlNG) Artie, Artie, Artie, Artie 318 00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:04,570 Artie, Artie, Artie, Artie 319 00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:06,238 (SCATTlNG) 320 00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:08,907 Oh, my God. 321 00:15:08,992 --> 00:15:10,409 She's right. 322 00:15:15,832 --> 00:15:18,333 l never want you in this house again ! 323 00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:21,044 lf he's out, can l move back in? 324 00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:22,462 What do you think? 325 00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:24,590 And she's the nice one. 326 00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:34,099 Okay, kids. 327 00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:37,686 This book should help you deal with your feelings. 328 00:15:38,021 --> 00:15:40,063 Look, Maggie. lt's a pop-up. 329 00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:41,732 "Daddy's made a shiv. 330 00:15:41,816 --> 00:15:45,527 "Can you help him ice Johnny Shakes, the jailhouse stoolie?" 331 00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:48,822 Uh, ew. 332 00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:50,407 Hey, let me read it to her. 333 00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:54,244 "Johnny's friends get some payback on Daddy while he's sleeping." 334 00:15:54,412 --> 00:15:58,790 Daddy's on fire. Daddy's not on fire. 335 00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:00,125 Daddy's on fire. . . 336 00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:01,376 MARGE: Daddy's not on fire! 337 00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:02,628 (CRYlNG) 338 00:16:02,712 --> 00:16:04,838 Okay, fine. He is. 339 00:16:05,173 --> 00:16:06,632 (COOlNG) 340 00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:08,759 l miss you guys so much. 341 00:16:08,843 --> 00:16:10,719 The smell of Marge's pork chops. 342 00:16:10,845 --> 00:16:14,222 The way you kids kiss my owies when l go boom. 343 00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:19,561 (SOBBlNG) This place has become like a prison to me! 344 00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,938 Hey, Dad. Maybe this will cheer you up. 345 00:16:22,023 --> 00:16:27,361 Why you little. . . (lMlTATES CHOKlNG) 346 00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:30,530 Aw. lt's no use, son. 347 00:16:30,615 --> 00:16:33,075 By the time l get out of here, you'll be grown. 348 00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:36,036 (SlNGlNG) Turn around, turn around 349 00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:39,581 Turn around and you're a young man 350 00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:44,628 (VOlCE BREAKlNG) And you're too big to choke 351 00:16:45,755 --> 00:16:47,339 (SOBBlNG) 352 00:16:50,468 --> 00:16:53,345 Well, well, look who showed his face. 353 00:16:53,596 --> 00:16:56,056 The louse who sold out his only friend. 354 00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:58,684 You've got a lot of nerve coming here. 355 00:16:58,768 --> 00:17:01,937 But since you did, what'll it be? First one's on the house. 356 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:06,024 ls this dump open? We were jogging and ran out of cigarettes. 357 00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:07,401 Pardon me for intruding. 358 00:17:07,485 --> 00:17:10,612 But l believe teenage girls shouldn't smoke. 359 00:17:10,947 --> 00:17:12,864 (LAUGHlNG) 360 00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:14,783 (COUGHlNG VlOLENTLY) 361 00:17:18,663 --> 00:17:20,122 Are you still living with Marge? 362 00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:21,415 No. 363 00:17:21,499 --> 00:17:24,209 She kicked me out for sending her husband to prison. 364 00:17:24,293 --> 00:17:27,838 You put Homer in jail? (SHUDDERS) 365 00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:31,258 The hair is standing up on the back of my knees. 366 00:17:31,342 --> 00:17:33,218 Keep your Odor-Eaters on, Selma. 367 00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:35,178 l've seen you get hurt too many times. 368 00:17:35,263 --> 00:17:38,098 l'm not gonna let him into my heart or my bedroom. 369 00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:41,393 Just 1 0 minutes on the beanbag. Come on, Short Round. 370 00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:43,895 We're going back to my temple of doom. 371 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:45,814 Be gentle! 372 00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:48,734 You know, 373 00:17:48,818 --> 00:17:52,446 they say that the love of a good woman can save any man. 374 00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:53,989 Except you, freak! 375 00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:56,783 Well, if you change your mind, you know where l am. 376 00:17:56,868 --> 00:17:58,577 ln my nightmares! 377 00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,662 l'm gonna stop now. 378 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,873 (ARTlE GRUNTlNG SOFTLY) 379 00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:08,003 SELMA: What the hell are you doing? 380 00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,796 l can't get my socks off. 381 00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:13,884 Ah, leave 'em on. l like a man with a little mystery. 382 00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:16,094 l'm done. 383 00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:17,888 My kinda man. 384 00:18:17,972 --> 00:18:18,972 ARTlE: Oh ! 385 00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:22,350 Wonderful, glorious, magnificent. 386 00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:24,561 And you were pretty good, too. 387 00:18:24,687 --> 00:18:26,688 (LAUGHlNG) 388 00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:29,441 Oh ! (lNHALES DEEPLY) 389 00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:32,944 Selma, you've made a new man of me. 390 00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:34,946 Thanks to your angry love, 391 00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:37,282 l can no longer sit by selfishly while 392 00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:39,618 another suffers for my book cooking. 393 00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:40,786 What are you gonna do? 394 00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:43,455 First, l'm gonna read the paper, 395 00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:44,539 have a little nosh. 396 00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:45,665 And then, 397 00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:47,459 l'm gonna rinse out a few things. 398 00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:49,795 And then, finally, 399 00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:52,547 l will get an innocent man out of jail. 400 00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:57,469 Well, he can't break my heart, 'cause he kind of makes me sick. 401 00:18:57,553 --> 00:18:58,678 This could work. 402 00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:00,972 Artie Ziff shocked investigators today 403 00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:03,183 by turning over a second set of books 404 00:19:03,434 --> 00:19:05,727 detaiIing his own financiaI cuIpabiIity 405 00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:08,814 and exonerating stumbIing, bumbling boob Homer Simpson. 406 00:19:08,898 --> 00:19:11,691 Simpson's grateful family had this to say. 407 00:19:11,776 --> 00:19:14,611 I'm so happy to be getting my husband back. 408 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:19,157 And I'm happy to listen to FM 95.3, home of Boomer and the Diz! 409 00:19:19,242 --> 00:19:20,742 Bart! Chill out, Mom. 410 00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:21,827 They gave me this hat. 411 00:19:21,911 --> 00:19:22,911 Mmm... 412 00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,959 Sorry you were wrongfully imprisoned, Simpson. 413 00:19:29,043 --> 00:19:31,294 Can l apply my time toward a future crime? 414 00:19:31,379 --> 00:19:33,922 You can either steal a car or kick me in the crotch. 415 00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:37,050 (GRUNTS) No one ever chooses the car. 416 00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:39,052 Oh, Dad ! 417 00:19:39,262 --> 00:19:43,223 Mmm. l missed you so much ! 418 00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:46,226 Oh, my God ! Maggie, you're talking ! 419 00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:48,270 Homer, l believe that's Lisa. 420 00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:51,565 Oh, Bart, what a man you've become. 421 00:19:51,774 --> 00:19:54,860 Artie, thank you for doing the right thing, 422 00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:56,528 eventually. 423 00:19:56,612 --> 00:19:59,739 All l needed was the love of a good woman. 424 00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:03,785 And since you're not interested. . . 425 00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:04,995 l'm not! 426 00:20:05,079 --> 00:20:06,204 Merely checking. 427 00:20:06,289 --> 00:20:08,123 Because l'm into that. 428 00:20:08,291 --> 00:20:10,208 l'll visit you in two weeks. 429 00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:21,386 l have to admit, l'll miss having him around. 430 00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:22,470 (LAUGHlNG) 431 00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:25,724 l don't think we've seen the last of Artie Ziff. 432 00:20:26,517 --> 00:20:29,728 Yo, hobbit. l'm like your roommate. 433 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,106 Oh, a smoker, eh? 434 00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:35,066 Well, l have ways of dealing with you. 435 00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:37,235 Squirt, squirt, squirt. 436 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,404 Your lungs will thank me. 437 00:20:40,364 --> 00:20:43,658 Kids, you better take your last look at Uncle Artie. 438 00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:45,827 Oh, look! There's a whole bunch of you ! 439 00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:48,580 Squirt, squirt, squirt! 440 00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:50,707 That's it. Circle around me. 441 00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:52,667 Squirt, squirt, squirt, squirt, squirt, squirt, squirt. 442 00:20:52,877 --> 00:20:54,920 Oh, l'm gonna need more water. 443 00:21:47,723 --> 00:21:48,723 English - US - PSDH 31664

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