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1
00:00:03,295 --> 00:00:06,339
(SlNGlNG) The Simpsons
2
00:00:06,423 --> 00:00:07,423
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
3
00:00:09,301 --> 00:00:10,301
D'oh !
4
00:00:10,761 --> 00:00:12,845
(SCREAMlNG)
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
5
00:00:31,115 --> 00:00:32,115
(GlGGLlNG)
6
00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:36,119
Wait till he puts
his unsuspecting butt
on that toilet seat!
7
00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:37,203
(GlGGLlNG)
8
00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:40,206
(TOlLET FLUSHlNG)
9
00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:43,459
Huh? Where's the Ee-yow?
10
00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:45,086
All yours, Homer.
11
00:00:45,254 --> 00:00:46,796
You didn't sit on the toilet.
12
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,256
l didn't have to.
l'm a dude.
13
00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:49,340
(GRUNTS)
14
00:00:49,425 --> 00:00:51,551
Butt on bowl, little man !
15
00:00:51,635 --> 00:00:53,261
(BOTH STRUGGLlNG)
16
00:00:53,345 --> 00:00:55,054
Hey, my pants aren't down !
17
00:00:55,139 --> 00:00:56,764
lt doesn't matter!
18
00:00:58,308 --> 00:00:59,851
Ee-yow!
19
00:00:59,935 --> 00:01:01,728
(LAUGHlNG)
20
00:01:01,812 --> 00:01:02,979
Why you little. . .
21
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,063
(CHOKlNG)
22
00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:06,190
Joke's on me, is it?
Ah !
23
00:01:06,275 --> 00:01:07,400
(WHlRRlNG)
24
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,194
(GAGGlNG)
25
00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:13,406
(HOMER GROANlNG)
26
00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:16,159
(CHOKlNG)
27
00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:19,412
MARGE:
What's all that racket?
28
00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:20,705
lt's old lady Simpson !
29
00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:21,789
Run !
30
00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:23,875
What's going on?
31
00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:26,419
Uh, l'll tell you
what's going on.
32
00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:28,921
l'm taking you all
out for pancakes.
33
00:01:29,006 --> 00:01:30,465
ALL: Yay!
Yeah !
34
00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:34,093
BART: This place
looks familiar.
35
00:01:34,178 --> 00:01:36,262
lt used to be
The Leaning Tower of Pizza.
36
00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:38,347
They just painted
the tower brown.
37
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:41,684
Either way,
everyone who works in
the kitchen speaks Spanish.
38
00:01:41,852 --> 00:01:42,852
(lNDlSTlNCT TALKlNG)
39
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,520
Hey, Apu.
What's with the line?
40
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:48,024
lt's application day
at Miss Wickerbottom's
Pre-Nursery School.
41
00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:50,067
Pre-nursery school?
42
00:01:50,194 --> 00:01:51,861
The fast track
begins at birth.
43
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:54,697
That's it!
Claw and bite for position !
44
00:01:54,865 --> 00:01:57,200
We have only enough
tuition money for two.
45
00:01:57,284 --> 00:01:59,619
For the rest of you,
better luck next life.
46
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:02,288
That's a lot of pressure
to put on a baby.
47
00:02:02,414 --> 00:02:06,626
All they should
be worried about is
the Raspberry Monster!
48
00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:08,127
(MARGE BLOWlNG RASPBERRlES)
49
00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:09,670
(MAGGlE GlGGLlNG)
50
00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:14,967
You know,
Marge makes a good point.
51
00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:17,053
Competitive schools
aren't for every baby.
52
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,471
(LAUGHlNG)
53
00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:20,473
Are you saying
my daughter can't cut it
54
00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:22,975
just because
l owe you $1 4,000?
55
00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:24,393
l'll show you !
56
00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:27,730
Come on, Maggie.
You're getting
into that school.
57
00:02:28,023 --> 00:02:30,149
l will hire
a collection agency.
58
00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:36,405
Which one? Tri-City,
Omni-Pay, lnsta-Threat?
l've beaten 'em all !
59
00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:41,869
The pig says "oink."
The chicken. . .
60
00:02:41,954 --> 00:02:43,663
HENRY:
Look, stop right there.
61
00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:46,332
l could go to any
Chuck E. Cheese in America
62
00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:47,917
and hear what animals say.
63
00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:50,837
Do you know what l say?
l say, "Next."
64
00:02:53,382 --> 00:02:54,882
You're a poopie!
65
00:02:54,967 --> 00:02:56,425
You nurse with that mouth?
66
00:02:58,220 --> 00:02:59,428
And what's your name?
67
00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:01,055
Maggie.
68
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:03,391
l'm sorry, but why
are you answering for her?
69
00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:04,934
Maggie doesn't talk yet.
70
00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:06,352
Not a word?
71
00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:08,855
Oh, no, no.
She says lots of words.
72
00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:14,068
Like when
she wants something,
she says. . . (GRUNTlNG)
73
00:03:14,403 --> 00:03:16,696
Maggie, we're not
a mime school,
74
00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:18,781
so we can't take
a non-talker.
75
00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:22,618
But here's some good news.
The Gap will always
need sweater folders.
76
00:03:22,953 --> 00:03:25,830
l'm sorry we wasted
your time, your lordship.
77
00:03:30,294 --> 00:03:31,544
(MARGE GRUMBLlNG)
78
00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:34,380
My baby has no future.
79
00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:36,757
Oh, Maggie will do just fine.
80
00:03:36,842 --> 00:03:40,136
She'll have plenty of money,
because she'll
marry a grocer. . .
81
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,971
Grocers don't
make that much.
82
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:46,851
. . .who steals from the till.
Would ya let me finish? Jeez!
83
00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:49,812
Maggie, you're as smart
as any one of those kids.
84
00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:51,439
Come on.
85
00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:54,108
Did we ever turn off
that shower nozzle?
86
00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:55,568
(ALL GRUNTlNG)
87
00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:58,321
l'm taking you
all out for tacos!
88
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,323
BOTH: Yay!
89
00:04:01,033 --> 00:04:03,743
Okay, for Malibu Stacy's
beach party,
90
00:04:03,827 --> 00:04:07,538
we've got pita,
hummus, tempeh, tofu.
91
00:04:07,623 --> 00:04:09,290
What other fun foods
do we need?
92
00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:14,670
lce? Did you do that?
93
00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:16,672
(GlGGLlNG)
94
00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:19,717
Okay.
What's a good side dish?
95
00:04:22,638 --> 00:04:25,097
Rice. Why not caviar?
96
00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:30,603
Oh, my God !
You're not just smart,
you're brilliant!
97
00:04:30,729 --> 00:04:31,729
Mom !
98
00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:35,399
Well, look who's back.
99
00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:37,485
Pippi Non-talking.
100
00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:41,030
Just because
Maggie can't talk,
doesn't mean she's dumb.
101
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:43,491
Einstein didn't
speak till he was three.
102
00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:45,868
And even then,
he could only speak German.
103
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:50,539
Fine. l'll give her
an lQ test if only to
extinguish all hope.
104
00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:54,043
All right, my quiet American,
how many eyes do you have?
105
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:57,380
Go on, Maggie.
You can do it.
106
00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:01,926
Well, congratulations.
You're now as intelligent
as a pig.
107
00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:03,970
Let's see if you can
move up to dolphin.
108
00:05:04,179 --> 00:05:06,097
How many people
in your family?
109
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:09,809
(GASPS)
110
00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:11,978
Woo-hoo!
l got that one right, too.
111
00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:13,729
(LAUGHlNG ENTHUSlASTlCALLY)
112
00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:18,442
Okay, last question.
Arrange these
113
00:05:18,527 --> 00:05:20,861
four arrows
to make five arrows.
114
00:05:20,946 --> 00:05:24,198
l remind you,
you only have 1 5. . . Oh.
115
00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:28,995
ALL: Ooh !
116
00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:30,246
Yeah !
117
00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:33,916
Philippa, l think
you should come in here.
118
00:05:34,126 --> 00:05:38,921
Your baby is brilliant.
Why, she could already
teach at Florida State.
119
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:40,506
Oh, my God !
Yay!
120
00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:41,590
Go, Maggie!
121
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:42,675
Go, Seminoles!
122
00:05:43,301 --> 00:05:46,220
This better
be important, Henry.
l was choking on something.
123
00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:50,558
Meet Maggie Simpson, lQ 1 67.
124
00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:53,728
One sixty-seven !
That's amazing
for a Christian.
125
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:59,692
But my lQ is only 1 59.
126
00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:02,028
Maggie's more
intelligent than me?
127
00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:06,949
That's right, because 1 67
is a bigger number than 1 59.
128
00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:08,325
Do you see how that works?
129
00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:09,618
Yes, thank you.
130
00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:13,080
So our kids keep
getting smarter.
131
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:16,208
lf we have another one,
it could build
a time machine,
132
00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:20,254
which we could use
to go back in time
and not have any kids!
133
00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:22,757
All our children are smart.
134
00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:26,677
Some are just
smarter than the others.
135
00:06:28,472 --> 00:06:30,931
Welcome to the others.
136
00:06:31,016 --> 00:06:32,099
(SCREAMS)
137
00:06:36,188 --> 00:06:39,273
MARGE: Maggie, look at
all the stuff your
new school sent over.
138
00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:43,027
Look at these
courses you'll be taking.
Advanced Peekaboo.
139
00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:44,236
(MAGGlE GlGGLlNG)
140
00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:45,654
Got Your Nose and Other Lies.
141
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:51,744
(READlNG)
142
00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:52,870
(LAUGHlNG)
143
00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:56,082
l'm slapping this
sucker right over
"Support Our Troops."
144
00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:58,667
Look, Lisa.
There's something
in here for you !
145
00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:00,544
Really?
146
00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:03,047
(GROANS)
147
00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:05,382
And Maggie
gets a shirt, too.
148
00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:07,176
(SCOFFS)
149
00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:13,474
Sweetie, you seem so blue.
150
00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:15,935
Did the last of
something die?
151
00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:19,688
No, Mom. lt's just that
l used to be the smart one.
152
00:07:19,815 --> 00:07:21,607
Now, l don't know who l am.
153
00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:23,859
Well, l know who you are.
154
00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:26,654
And here's something
to help you never forget.
155
00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:32,535
l already have one of those.
156
00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:37,373
Well then,
find a new identity.
157
00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:39,166
Hmm.
158
00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:41,168
Your mother's right, honey.
159
00:07:41,253 --> 00:07:45,047
Katie Couric didn't just
become the world's
most famous dwarf.
160
00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:47,800
She escaped from the circus
and went for it!
161
00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:50,803
All right.
lf l'm second-rate
as the smart kid,
162
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:52,972
l'll find
a new raison d'etre.
163
00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:54,723
That still sounds
like the smart kid.
164
00:07:54,933 --> 00:07:55,933
Right, right.
165
00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:02,064
Time to show them
the new me.
166
00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:05,901
No one's happier
and more well-adjusted
than a stand-up comedian.
167
00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:08,654
How about these entrees?
168
00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:10,948
Stuffed cabbage?
Can you believe
169
00:08:11,032 --> 00:08:12,950
they found a way to
make cabbage worse?
170
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:14,702
(LAUGHlNG)
171
00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:21,917
All right.
So what else is going on?
Let's see.
172
00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:26,046
Hey, why do they
call them "field trips"?
We never go to a field.
173
00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:29,258
Oh, untrue. Last Thursday,
we visited a battlefield.
174
00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:31,719
Uh, well, l. . .
175
00:08:31,803 --> 00:08:33,679
l'm bem-barrassed for you.
176
00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:35,806
The following
"ha-ha" is not from
177
00:08:35,891 --> 00:08:37,850
amusement but
an expression of contempt.
178
00:08:37,976 --> 00:08:39,518
Ha-ha!
179
00:08:39,603 --> 00:08:40,603
(GROANlNG)
180
00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:43,772
Okay, okay,
don't get discouraged.
181
00:08:43,899 --> 00:08:46,775
Every me they reject
gets me closer to
the me they'll like.
182
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:51,864
(HEAVY METAL MUSlC PLAYlNG)
183
00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:57,536
What are you now, Lisa?
An Oakland Raiders fan?
184
00:08:57,621 --> 00:09:00,414
lt's called goth,
eternally clueless one.
185
00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:03,751
My new name is
Ravencrow Never Smiles.
186
00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:06,962
Cool. We can be
goth together.
187
00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:09,340
We'll go to
the cemetery and summon
188
00:09:09,424 --> 00:09:11,383
the dark lord
by kissing and junk.
189
00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:12,509
(LAUGHS)
190
00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:16,347
Okay. But first,
you must apprentice
191
00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:18,432
by kissing
the goddess lronica,
192
00:09:18,642 --> 00:09:21,268
uh, who lives in this rock.
193
00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:23,479
Do it for an hour,
hour and a half.
194
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,481
Yes, my mistress.
195
00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:27,983
(KlSSlNG)
196
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:35,074
Who's that girI
running around with you
197
00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:39,870
TeII me who's that girI
198
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:45,960
Oh, none of these
feel right. Wait, wait.
Did l try soccer player?
199
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,670
Tried and failed.
200
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:48,754
(GROANlNG)
201
00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:56,971
l'm a mess. l can't believe
l'm jealous of a baby.
202
00:09:57,055 --> 00:09:58,514
Hey, l'm jealous of her, too.
203
00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:01,767
When you're a baby,
you spend all day just
rolling around on the floor.
204
00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:03,894
Boy, l miss that. Ow!
205
00:10:03,979 --> 00:10:06,605
Fine. Roll around
on the floor, baby.
206
00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:08,732
(GRUMBLlNG)
207
00:10:10,902 --> 00:10:13,112
Floor baby! Floor baby!
208
00:10:13,196 --> 00:10:16,156
You're making fun
of him for something
you made him do!
209
00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:18,575
Yeah? Well, you're gay.
210
00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,828
People who accuse others
of being gay
211
00:10:20,912 --> 00:10:24,415
are often
covering up their own
latent homosexuality.
212
00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:26,834
Um, uh. . . (GRUNTS)
213
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:28,711
Bullies rule!
214
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:36,135
The school sent this
dealie over for Maggie.
His name is Phonic Frog.
215
00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:37,886
PHONlC FROG:
Aw. Buh. Kkk.
216
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,222
Huh-Oh-Muh-Eh-Er.
217
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:43,434
(LAUGHlNG) That's me.
Huh-Oh-Muh-Eh-Er.
218
00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:47,146
This is
Huh-Oh-Muh-Eh-Er's doctor.
219
00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:49,565
He's too sick to work today.
220
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:50,649
(CHUCKLlNG)
221
00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:53,777
l'll be right back.
222
00:10:58,199 --> 00:10:59,199
(WHlNlNG)
223
00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:02,411
Fine. l'll help you
with your stupid flashcards.
224
00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:07,833
(CHUCKLlNG)
Aren't you smart?
225
00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:11,837
Let's try another one.
A little harder this time.
226
00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:13,422
Hmm?
227
00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:17,009
(SNORlNG)
228
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:20,429
(HESlTANTLY)
No, that's wrong.
229
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:28,395
That's right!
This spells "dog."
230
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:30,064
MARGE: Lisa!
(SCREAMS)
231
00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:32,816
You are purposely teaching
her the wrong word !
232
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:34,610
Lisa, l'm surprised.
233
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:37,738
Your sister just wants to
learn and be like you !
234
00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:39,698
Well, maybe she needs
a better role model.
235
00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:43,369
PHONlC FROG:
I agree with your mother.
236
00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:47,247
You are a disappointment
to Huh-Oh-Muh-Eh-Er.
237
00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:48,665
(SOBBlNG)
238
00:11:54,798 --> 00:11:56,090
(MUTTERlNG)
239
00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:04,848
l used to be the smart one.
240
00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:07,226
(BELL RlNGlNG)
241
00:12:09,104 --> 00:12:10,854
PHONlC FROG:
Where is my dinner?
242
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,649
Maggie, you're such
a quick learner.
243
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:16,151
Why don't you
learn how to fly?
244
00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:18,487
But I Iove you.
245
00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:23,242
(LAUGHlNG EVlLLY)
246
00:12:24,828 --> 00:12:26,078
(GASPlNG)
247
00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:32,793
(SNORlNG)
248
00:12:32,877 --> 00:12:35,546
Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z...
249
00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:37,047
(SNORlNG)
250
00:12:37,132 --> 00:12:39,508
Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z...
251
00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:46,598
Goodbye, Maggie.
l'm smart enough
252
00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:48,559
to know you're
better off without me.
253
00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:51,812
(SlGHlNG)
254
00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:07,911
Two cents.
255
00:13:08,079 --> 00:13:11,540
l'm sure a lot of
great people have
started with less.
256
00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:13,459
Nope. Never under a dollar.
257
00:13:13,543 --> 00:13:14,585
(SlGHS)
258
00:13:14,878 --> 00:13:17,713
MARGE: Lisa's gone!
You have to find her!
259
00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:20,340
Why can't you just
accept the fact that
260
00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:22,718
Lisa is old enough to
take care of herself?
261
00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:24,970
Back off and let
her live her life.
262
00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:26,722
But she's only eight.
263
00:13:26,848 --> 00:13:29,433
Oh, l thought you said 80.
264
00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:31,018
Well, we'll get right on it.
265
00:13:31,102 --> 00:13:33,479
Now, this may not
be the best time,
266
00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:35,522
but l'm supposed to
give you this survey
267
00:13:35,607 --> 00:13:38,901
rating the effectiveness
of the Springfield Police
Department.
268
00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:42,279
"Somewhat satisfied." l see.
269
00:13:42,530 --> 00:13:46,200
Well, maybe l'll just
somewhat find
your daughter, huh?
270
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:49,244
Fine. "Extremely satisfied."
271
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:53,165
Looking good, boys.
Now, let's go get
some smoothies.
272
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:56,585
Oh, l'm tired. l'm hungry.
273
00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:59,838
Red plastic sandals are not
great running away shoes.
274
00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:01,048
(GASPlNG)
275
00:14:01,132 --> 00:14:04,635
Air conditioning,
water fountains, dioramas!
276
00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:07,804
And l'll never run
into my family here!
277
00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:10,682
lt's the perfect place
to start a new life!
278
00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:18,607
(ATTENDANT MUTTERlNG)
279
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:20,943
(GlGGLlNG)
280
00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:24,112
No food allowed.
You can't hide it
in your clothes.
281
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,198
Would you please step
out of the line, sir?
282
00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:28,951
Go ahead and search.
You will never find it all.
283
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:31,161
l'm baking muffins
as l speak.
284
00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:36,250
MAN: Some trees are big.
Some trees are small.
285
00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:38,126
But all trees have bark.
286
00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:39,920
Except for popIar,
ash and mapIe.
287
00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:42,130
(PEOPLE EXCLAlMlNG)
288
00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:53,725
(GlGGLlNG)
289
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,154
(LlSA PLAYlNG SAXOPHONE)
290
00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:29,636
Lousy Maggie.
Thinks she's so great.
Thinks she knows. . .
291
00:15:30,555 --> 00:15:31,555
Oh.
292
00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:39,813
l miss them all so much.
293
00:15:39,897 --> 00:15:41,189
(SOBBlNG)
294
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:54,202
l hope this typeface
catches people's eye.
295
00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:56,622
lt sure didn't move
our old fondue set.
296
00:15:56,706 --> 00:16:00,459
Why do you always take
the children and
not the fondue sets?
297
00:16:00,543 --> 00:16:02,753
Why, Santa? Why?
298
00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:08,383
Good news, Simpsons.
We found your
daughter's belongings.
299
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:09,801
Where'd you find these?
300
00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:11,011
Giant tongue.
301
00:16:11,095 --> 00:16:12,304
Oh ! l knew it!
302
00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:16,642
We also discovered something
very unusual at that museum.
303
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,435
Oh, my God ! What?
304
00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:22,064
Well, if you drop a feather
and a bowling ball
in a vacuum,
305
00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:24,775
they'll fall at
the same rate. (CHUCKLES)
306
00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:26,735
You think you've
seen it all in this job,
307
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:29,488
and then something
like that comes along.
308
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,867
Come on. Come on.
309
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:40,040
CLANCY:
That's where we found
your daughter's things.
310
00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:41,166
LlSA: Huh?
311
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:44,753
You look around there
while Eddie, Lou and l go
ask a few questions.
312
00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:47,214
Like how does
a helicopter fly?
313
00:16:47,382 --> 00:16:48,840
And what causes thunder?
314
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:50,634
l say it's angels bowling.
315
00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:54,721
Lisa?
HOMER: Lisa?
316
00:16:54,889 --> 00:16:56,181
MARGE: Lisa?
HOMER: Lisa?
317
00:16:56,432 --> 00:16:57,432
BOTH: Lisa?
318
00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:58,684
(ClRCUS MUSlC PLAYlNG)
319
00:16:58,768 --> 00:17:00,102
(LAUGHlNG)
320
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:04,940
(SCREAMlNG)
321
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,444
Oh, no!
The giant is waking up!
322
00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:11,363
(ALL SCREAMlNG)
323
00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:14,366
Oh, God.
We're in a belly.
324
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:16,284
Everyone, take off
your shoes.
325
00:17:26,921 --> 00:17:28,797
(YELLlNG) How do we get out?
326
00:17:28,923 --> 00:17:32,467
Your baby has
to press the red
"evacuate" button.
327
00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:34,136
Yo, Chief,
we got a problem here.
328
00:17:34,512 --> 00:17:38,181
l see a vase, but Eddie
sees two people in profile.
329
00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:40,892
Now, this may shock you,
but you're both right.
330
00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:44,396
MARGE: Maggie!
HOMER: Come on, Maggie!
Come on !
331
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:45,480
BART: The red button !
332
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:46,732
ALL: Hit the red button !
Hit the red button !
333
00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:47,816
HOMER: Hit the red button !
334
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:51,987
(ALL EXCLAlMlNG)
335
00:17:52,113 --> 00:17:53,739
HOMER: Ew!
336
00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:56,074
Maggie, press the red button !
337
00:17:56,159 --> 00:17:58,326
l know, we'll use
reverse psychology.
338
00:17:58,453 --> 00:18:01,955
Maggie, don't press
the red button.
339
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:04,207
Damn it!
340
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:06,334
(ALL SHOUTlNG)
341
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:10,255
Marge, l've always
loved you.
342
00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:13,425
Bart, you were a worthy foe.
343
00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:15,677
(CRYlNG)
344
00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:23,894
(PANTlNG) Mom ! Dad !
l'm so sorry
l got you into this!
345
00:18:24,187 --> 00:18:26,605
Lisa, you're all right!
346
00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:30,025
Oh, good. She's here
in time to see us die.
347
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:33,862
Maggie, l'm sorry l was
jealous of your special gift.
348
00:18:33,988 --> 00:18:36,823
From now on,
l'm gonna
nurture and cherish. . .
349
00:18:36,908 --> 00:18:39,451
Just tell her which
friggin' button to push !
350
00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:43,330
Maggie, push the red button.
You can do it! Red !
351
00:18:43,998 --> 00:18:45,165
(COOS)
352
00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:49,377
(ALL EXCLAlMlNG)
353
00:18:50,922 --> 00:18:51,922
Wooo!
354
00:18:52,089 --> 00:18:54,883
Now, Marge, you can't say
l never take you anywhere.
355
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:55,967
(GRUMBLlNG)
356
00:18:56,052 --> 00:18:57,052
(GROANlNG)
357
00:18:57,178 --> 00:18:58,970
(ALL GRUNTlNG)
358
00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:03,934
Well, l think we all
learned a lesson today.
359
00:19:04,018 --> 00:19:07,562
Don't try to be something
you're not, namely food.
360
00:19:08,231 --> 00:19:09,981
Chief, now l can't see
either one.
361
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:12,734
Well, we're all pretty tired.
Let's try a different one.
362
00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:17,197
Which figure is bigger?
The answer will
knock your socks off!
363
00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:21,868
l'm sorry l ran off.
Being second to Maggie's
not so bad.
364
00:19:21,953 --> 00:19:25,288
But why didn't Maggie
press the right button
until l told her to?
365
00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:27,332
PHlLlPPA: l believe
l can answer that.
366
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:29,709
How'd you get in here?
367
00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:30,961
Your butler let us in.
368
00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:33,421
Play along.
l'll explain later.
369
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:36,341
l'm afraid your daughter's
no longer welcome
at our school.
370
00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:39,636
She's as common
as an angry woman
in an lbsen play.
371
00:19:39,929 --> 00:19:41,638
(LAUGHS) Zing !
372
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:44,558
Let's just watch the tape,
monkey man.
373
00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:49,604
Whenever Maggie
is asked a question,
she looks over at Lisa.
374
00:19:49,772 --> 00:19:51,356
How many eyes do you have?
375
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:53,942
Go on, Maggie.
You can do it.
376
00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:56,736
(TAPE REWlNDlNG)
377
00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:59,948
PHlLlPPA:
Now, rotate and magnify.
378
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:03,869
(GASPlNG) l don't
remember doing that!
l would never cheat!
379
00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:08,540
Perhaps. But subconsciously,
you wanted her
to succeed. Watch.
380
00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:10,625
PHlLlPPA:
Here, you're telling her
the answer is no.
381
00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:12,544
Here, the solution
is a square.
382
00:20:12,628 --> 00:20:15,505
Here, you're telling her
the answer is
California Condor.
383
00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:18,675
So Maggie's not a genius?
384
00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:21,845
She could be at
sweeping up hair. (CHUCKLES)
385
00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:23,847
That's my baby, jerk!
386
00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:24,890
Ow!
387
00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:26,266
You call that a punch?
388
00:20:26,434 --> 00:20:28,602
l felt it,
but it was like,
"So what?"
389
00:20:29,312 --> 00:20:32,397
Oh ! Again with the nose.
l have a chin, you know?
390
00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:34,065
(GRUNTS)
391
00:20:34,191 --> 00:20:37,944
Don't worry, sir.
The maid and l will
take him out to the curb.
392
00:20:38,029 --> 00:20:39,154
Come on. Come on.
393
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:41,531
You promised me
no one would get hurt!
394
00:20:42,366 --> 00:20:46,328
l don't care
what they say, Maggie.
To me, you're brilliant.
395
00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:49,497
(PLAYlNG SAXOPHONE)
396
00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:55,128
Not for babies.
397
00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:02,719
HENRY: Do we reaIIy need
three of these peopIe?
398
00:21:03,304 --> 00:21:04,846
Too ethnic, change it.
399
00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:07,557
More like "Cart-wrong."
400
00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:09,893
Worst voicing ever.
401
00:21:10,144 --> 00:21:12,187
FinaIIy, a reaI ceIebrity.
402
00:21:13,356 --> 00:21:15,690
Oh, good. More producers.
Just what they need.
403
00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:17,525
Him, l like.
404
00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:21,488
Yes, but what's
he done IateIy?
405
00:21:21,697 --> 00:21:25,700
Very originaI.
Simon Cowell as Simon Cowell.
Well done.
406
00:21:30,373 --> 00:21:32,999
(SlGHS) I reaIIy
don't care anymore.
407
00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:36,169
All useless.
408
00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:40,382
The credits reaIIy
have to go this Iong?
409
00:21:44,387 --> 00:21:45,929
Oh, shush yourself.
410
00:21:50,017 --> 00:21:51,017
English - US - PSDH
29340
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