Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,795 --> 00:00:06,255
(SlNGlNG) The Simpsons
2
00:00:06,632 --> 00:00:07,632
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
3
00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:10,468
D'oh !
4
00:00:10,761 --> 00:00:12,595
(SCREAMlNG)
(BRAKES SCREECHlNG)
5
00:00:27,653 --> 00:00:31,739
That's a salt-water croc,
the largest reptile
in the world !
6
00:00:31,824 --> 00:00:33,032
Oh, crikey!
7
00:00:33,117 --> 00:00:35,243
She's got me
by the dangle-down !
8
00:00:35,744 --> 00:00:39,414
This naughty little Sheila
can snap a man's
ribcage like. . .
9
00:00:39,498 --> 00:00:40,873
(CRACKlNG)
Like that!
10
00:00:40,958 --> 00:00:41,999
(SCREAMS)
11
00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:43,918
Hey, l'm watching that!
12
00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:45,044
Not anymore.
13
00:00:45,129 --> 00:00:47,296
ANNOUNCER 1 ON TV:
Malibu Stacey wants
a craft room
14
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:50,675
and Malibu Ken
needs a closet for all
his beach thongs.
15
00:00:50,843 --> 00:00:54,595
They'II get heIp
from designer Jeremy on,
Dollhouse Do-Overs.
16
00:00:56,140 --> 00:00:59,892
We'II aIso show you
how to turn a shoebox
into a you-box.
17
00:01:01,103 --> 00:01:04,147
Oh, l missed
the feeding frenzy.
l hope you're happy.
18
00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:05,732
Obviously, yes.
19
00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:07,150
(BOTH GRUNTlNG)
20
00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:11,571
MAN ON TV:
Bobby, I got propane
in my urethra.
21
00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:12,989
ANNOUNCER 2 ON TV:
We'II be right back with
22
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:15,324
Who Will Marry
a Million Bears!
23
00:01:17,828 --> 00:01:19,495
(SlNGlNG) I Iike ice cream
24
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,247
l like ice cream
25
00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:22,832
How about you?
26
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:26,169
Look, Maggie!
A show for babies!
27
00:01:26,545 --> 00:01:29,922
Topped with chocoIate syrup
28
00:01:30,007 --> 00:01:33,509
Whipped cream too
29
00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:35,636
Mom, that's Roofi.
30
00:01:35,721 --> 00:01:37,889
His music is why
babies are idiots.
31
00:01:37,973 --> 00:01:42,351
Well, Maggie likes Roofi.
And babies only
like good things.
32
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:46,105
Why don't you let us watch TV
and get her a Roofi CD?
33
00:01:46,190 --> 00:01:47,231
Bart!
34
00:01:47,316 --> 00:01:48,316
(lN PlG LATlN)
35
00:02:01,538 --> 00:02:02,538
Ap-cray.
Ap-cray.
36
00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:06,626
ROOFl: (SlNGlNG)
One, two, tie your shoe
37
00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:08,628
Three, four,
pick up the fIoor
38
00:02:08,712 --> 00:02:10,588
Five, six,
don't pIay tricks
39
00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:12,465
Seven, eight,
cIean your pIate
40
00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:15,384
Nine, ten,
start over again!
41
00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:17,762
One, two, tie your shoe
42
00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:19,639
Three, four,
pick up the fIoor
43
00:02:19,723 --> 00:02:21,307
Five, six,
don't pIay tricks
44
00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:22,975
lt's on batteries.
45
00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:24,018
Clean your plate
46
00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:25,978
Nine, ten,
start over again!
47
00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:28,272
Backed up by solar power.
48
00:02:28,357 --> 00:02:29,565
(GROANS)
49
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:31,400
Three, four,
pick up the fIoor
50
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,194
Five, six,
don't pIay tricks
51
00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:35,321
Seven, eight,
cIean your pIate
52
00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:38,074
Nine, ten,
start over again!
53
00:02:39,743 --> 00:02:41,828
Look, Maggie. Funny Daddy!
54
00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:42,954
(GROANlNG)
55
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,415
Too hard.
56
00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:49,418
Nine, ten,
start over again!
57
00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:52,255
One, two, tie your shoe
58
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:54,131
Three, four,
pick up the fIoor
59
00:02:54,216 --> 00:02:55,174
Five, six...
60
00:02:55,259 --> 00:02:56,259
(SCREAMlNG)
61
00:03:01,765 --> 00:03:03,641
Three, four,
pick up the fIoor
62
00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:04,767
(SHUDDERS)
63
00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:06,060
(BELL RlNGlNG)
64
00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:08,354
Time to go home, Bart.
65
00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:11,858
You don't understand.
l can't go home.
You got to give me detention.
66
00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:13,818
Look! l fed
the gerbil coffee!
67
00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:16,779
Ah !
68
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:19,532
(lNDlFFERENT GRUNT)
69
00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:21,284
Please, make me
write something
70
00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:22,869
on the chalkboard
a thousand times!
71
00:03:22,953 --> 00:03:25,538
We all got tired of that
chalkboard years ago.
72
00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:26,956
Now go home.
73
00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:30,209
(SlNGlNG) So he went upstairs
and knocked on the door
74
00:03:30,294 --> 00:03:32,879
There's a heIpfuI bear
on the 28th floor
75
00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:35,214
Twenty-eighth fIoor,
twenty-eighth fIoor
76
00:03:35,299 --> 00:03:38,134
There's a heIpfuI bear
on the 28th floor
77
00:03:38,844 --> 00:03:41,304
Aw! Look how happy she is.
78
00:03:41,513 --> 00:03:43,139
Her eyes aren't focused.
79
00:03:44,808 --> 00:03:45,808
(GROWLS)
80
00:03:46,602 --> 00:03:48,311
lt makes her happy.
81
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:49,979
(MUSlC STARTS)
82
00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:51,981
So does sucking on the dog.
83
00:03:54,610 --> 00:03:58,070
Hello, Springfield.
Roofi is coming
to your town.
84
00:03:58,155 --> 00:04:02,033
One show only.
Tickets wiII go fast,
very fast.
85
00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:04,577
So your parents
shouId be getting in Iine.
86
00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:07,413
If you don't come,
Roofi will be sad.
87
00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:10,666
And the heIpfuI bear,
she will die!
88
00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:12,793
(COUGHlNG)
89
00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:16,631
(SlNGlNG) Tickets, tickets
buy them now
90
00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:19,508
Roofi he wiII show you how
91
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:22,470
Visa, AMEX or MC
92
00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:25,431
Or make out
that check to me!
93
00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:30,102
Give Daddy
the remote, Maggie.
94
00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:32,188
Give Daddy the. . . D'oh !
95
00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:33,522
(LAUGHS)
96
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:36,859
Oh, wise guy, eh?
97
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:45,785
(GROANlNG)
98
00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:48,746
MARGE:
l got the Roofi tickets!
99
00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:52,124
l got them fair and square
and l kept my dignity,
100
00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:53,918
not like Janie's mom.
101
00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:56,170
("THREE STOOGES"
NOSE TWlSTlNG NOlSE)
102
00:04:56,672 --> 00:04:57,922
Whatever.
103
00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:01,008
(HORNS HONKlNG)
104
00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:04,470
(GASPS)
105
00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:07,014
This concert is oversold.
106
00:05:07,099 --> 00:05:10,476
lt's as if a music promoter
acted unscrupulously.
107
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,255
ANNOUNCER:
And now, our opening act,
108
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:43,592
in their first live show
since Tinky Winky was
acquitted of mansIaughter.
109
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:44,927
Not guilty!
110
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:46,971
The Teletubbies!
111
00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:48,472
(CHEERlNG)
112
00:05:49,975 --> 00:05:51,225
Custard !
113
00:05:58,316 --> 00:06:00,234
Custard ! Custard !
114
00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:03,237
They make The Blue Man Group
look like Mummenschanz,
115
00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:04,989
which is still pretty good.
116
00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:08,409
Oh, the second one
wants custard, too?
117
00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:09,702
That's a little repetitive.
118
00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:10,786
(THUNDER RUMBLlNG)
119
00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:16,500
Oh, no! lt's raining !
120
00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:18,961
And Maggie's diapers
are extra absorbent.
121
00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:21,881
(CRYlNG)
122
00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:26,343
How's the crowd, Steve?
123
00:06:26,428 --> 00:06:27,470
Awful fussy.
124
00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:29,388
You kidding me?
Did you make funny faces?
125
00:06:29,473 --> 00:06:31,599
You did? Well, did you
jiggle your keys?
126
00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:32,808
l did it all, man !
127
00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:36,395
ANNOUNCER:
And now, here's Roofi!
128
00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:39,356
(SlNGlNG)
Sing the nonsense song
with me
129
00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:41,734
Yum yum wow
Woop de we
130
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:44,236
FIibberty fIabberty
one two three
131
00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:47,740
Ow! Okay, who threw that?
Who threw it?
132
00:06:53,497 --> 00:06:56,791
REPORTER ON TV:
A pIay date with disaster
at Cletus' farm.
133
00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:58,167
l'm at the first aid tent
134
00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:00,669
where overwhelmed doctors
are trying to sort out
135
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,755
the owies from the boo-boos.
136
00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:05,591
Now l'm told
we have the leader
of the babies on the line.
137
00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:08,135
TyIer, is there
a peacefuI soIution possibIe?
138
00:07:08,220 --> 00:07:09,261
(TYLER COOlNG)
139
00:07:09,346 --> 00:07:11,722
(BEEPlNG)
140
00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:14,058
(GASPlNG)
141
00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:16,894
AII right, that's it.
Show's over!
142
00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:19,230
Five, six, so Iong, hicks!
143
00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:29,740
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You don't want
to go in there.
144
00:07:29,825 --> 00:07:31,909
Some of those babies
have their teeth.
145
00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:34,662
And those super
sharp little fingernails.
146
00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:36,622
Better leave it to
the professionals.
147
00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:41,460
l don't feel right
clubbing women
and children, chief.
148
00:07:41,545 --> 00:07:43,504
l hear ya. Some days are
tougher than others.
149
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:46,048
Just close
your eyes and club.
150
00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:50,761
CLANCY: This is it, boys.
We'll have to tummy-kiss
our way out.
151
00:07:50,846 --> 00:07:53,222
(BLOWlNG TUMMY KlSSES)
152
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:54,765
(BABlES LAUGHlNG)
153
00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:57,977
LOU: This is a bouncer
one here, Chief.
154
00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:02,231
KENT: Baby's got backIash!
155
00:08:02,524 --> 00:08:03,941
Springfield citizens
are outraged
156
00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:06,986
about the destruction
caused by the bad babies.
157
00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:09,864
Bad babies, yes, you was.
158
00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:11,824
They destroyed my home
159
00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:15,744
and the equity
I'd buiIt up therein.
160
00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:17,663
Asked if he intends
to take IegaI action,
161
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:19,665
the farmer repIied,
"I ain't fungified
162
00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:22,084
"hidee-hoo about no
Iegrification noways,"
163
00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:25,087
then scratched his rear,
hitched up his pants,
164
00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:26,297
and scratched his rear again.
165
00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:29,383
That riot has
far-reaching consequences.
166
00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:32,511
Kabul refuses to be
our sister city anymore.
167
00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:34,430
l have no sister city!
168
00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:38,225
The babies' damage
exceeds $1 million.
169
00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:40,603
Which will now be sucked out
of your pockets.
170
00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:44,857
MAN: My loose change!
171
00:08:45,901 --> 00:08:48,360
Let me now introduce a woman
who wants to make sure that
172
00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:50,571
what l just did
never happens again.
173
00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:52,907
Good evening.
l'm Lindsay Naegle.
174
00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:55,618
And l am the founder
of SSCCATAGAPP.
175
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:57,870
Singles Seniors
Childless Couples
176
00:08:57,954 --> 00:09:00,039
and Teens and Gays
against Parasitic Parents.
177
00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:01,540
Catchy name.
178
00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:02,625
(CLAMORlNG)
179
00:09:02,959 --> 00:09:06,128
We're tired
of picking up the bills
for other people's kids.
180
00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:09,381
We already pay
millions every year
in school taxes.
181
00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:10,966
CROWD: Yeah !
182
00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:13,844
Excuse me, everyone.
l'm a mother.
183
00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:15,137
(BOOlNG)
184
00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:16,805
And l'm an American.
185
00:09:17,015 --> 00:09:18,224
CROWD: Yeah !
186
00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:20,434
l bake apple pies.
187
00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:21,560
CROWD: Yeah !
188
00:09:21,645 --> 00:09:23,729
And l love baseball.
189
00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:25,272
(BOOlNG)
190
00:09:25,649 --> 00:09:29,151
Save your
breath for blowing up
water wings, breeder.
191
00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:33,864
l dream of
an America with nudity
and F-words on network TV!
192
00:09:33,949 --> 00:09:37,493
Where the whole world
doesn't stop because
a school bus did.
193
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,161
Children are the future.
194
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:41,664
Today belongs to me!
195
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,457
CROWD: Yeah !
196
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,710
You can't change the rules
in the middle of the game!
197
00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:48,337
We never
would've had these kids
198
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:49,922
if we thought
we had to pay for them !
199
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:51,298
Promises were made!
200
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:52,758
Tough tortellini !
201
00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:55,261
l'm sick of printing
a children's menu !
202
00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:58,472
Let Mickey Meatball
find his own way
out of the maze!
203
00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:04,353
We're tired of
buying overpriced tickets
for your lousy school plays!
204
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:07,314
Then how would we ever
get to see CameIot?
205
00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:09,900
We'll merely watch
the movie on tape!
206
00:10:09,985 --> 00:10:11,193
ls that better?
207
00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:14,780
To me, Ralph Wiggum
is Sir Lancelot.
208
00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:18,450
(SlNGlNG)
If ever I wouId Ieave you
209
00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:21,287
lt wouldn't be
in summer!
210
00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:22,621
(BOOlNG)
211
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:26,417
Ladies and gentlemen,
let's kill every child. . .
212
00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:27,918
. . .friendly thing in town !
213
00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:29,336
(CROWD CHEERlNG)
214
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:32,715
(SQUEAKY VOlCE) lt's time
to put away childish things
215
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,466
(DEEP VOlCE)
and become a man !
216
00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:37,219
MAN: Talkin' 'bout
my generation
217
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:38,929
I hope I die
before I get oId
218
00:10:39,389 --> 00:10:41,056
CALCULATOR: Y? Y? Y?
219
00:10:46,730 --> 00:10:49,231
Why don't you aII
fade away
220
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,483
Talkin' 'bout
my generation
221
00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:54,236
And don't try to dig
what we aII say
222
00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:58,490
KENT: Kids are peopIe, too.
WorthIess incompIete peopIe.
223
00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:01,327
That's the battIe cry
as single Springfield-ites
224
00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:04,747
are continuing
to run roughshod
over children and families.
225
00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:08,083
From now on,
chiIdren acting up
in pubIic pIaces
226
00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:10,294
wiII be IightIy tased.
227
00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:12,338
CHILD: Mommy, pick me up.
228
00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:13,422
(ELECTRlClTY CRACKLlNG)
229
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:15,257
I wasn't kidding.
230
00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:18,177
And in downtown Springfield,
a statue is being erected
231
00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:20,679
to America's most
misunderstood hero,
232
00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:21,847
"The deadbeat dad."
233
00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:27,186
That's all? Just a statue?
234
00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:29,271
This country makes me sick.
235
00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:32,191
Sign, sign,
everywhere a sign
236
00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:35,444
BIockin' out the scenery
Breakin' my mind
237
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:39,281
Do this, don't do that
Can't you read the sign?
238
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,909
(CHANTlNG)
Gamble, gamble, gamble!
239
00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:55,172
(SEDUCTlVE MUSlC PLAYlNG)
240
00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:56,465
(LAUGHlNG)
241
00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:58,217
Oh, yeah.
242
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:05,516
Miss Naegle, l'm sorry to
surprise you like this.
243
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,518
But l thought
if we met face to face,
244
00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:09,478
we could settle
our differences.
245
00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:10,979
Well, let's make it quick.
246
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:13,065
l know you have to
get back to your kids
247
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:15,150
and l'm late for
a skydiving massage.
248
00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:16,693
l'll cut to the chase.
249
00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:20,197
l've brought with me
the very best reason
l can think of
250
00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:22,241
for what l believe in.
251
00:12:22,325 --> 00:12:24,159
Her name is Lisa.
252
00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:28,080
And l wouldn't trade her
for all the sleep-in Sundays
253
00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:30,165
and speed dating
in the world.
254
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:33,627
Miss Naegle,
even though l disagree
with your principles,
255
00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:35,587
l certainly
admire your success.
256
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:36,922
Well, Lisa,
257
00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:40,509
l would be proud
if one of the eggs
l sold turned out like you.
258
00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:43,720
Mom, l locked
your keys in the car.
259
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,514
Then wait in the shadows!
260
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,349
Also Maggie puked
in your purse again.
261
00:12:47,976 --> 00:12:51,687
Poor me.
All my purse is full of
is disposable income.
262
00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:56,608
Sorry, Marge. l don't think
l'll ever understand
your point of view.
263
00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:58,527
Not even
with all my free time.
264
00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:01,113
Then l guess this means war
265
00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:03,949
with the most
powerful weapon
at my disposal,
266
00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:06,160
a voter-sponsored initiative.
267
00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:08,036
(GASPS) You wouldn't dare!
268
00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:10,372
l've already
drawn up the petition.
269
00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:15,169
Well, l'm not worried.
270
00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:17,463
You won't get that
thing on the ballot
271
00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:19,715
until the November
general election.
272
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,306
No. The March primary.
273
00:13:30,894 --> 00:13:32,519
Mom, can we get a pretzel?
274
00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:34,146
We've got pretzels at home.
275
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:35,689
Not cinnamon.
276
00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:44,573
Well, we finally got things
the way we want them.
277
00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:48,327
Not a highchair or
complementary crayon
in sight.
278
00:13:48,411 --> 00:13:50,662
l'm gonna tell an anecdote
about lovemaking
279
00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:52,206
without having
to look around.
280
00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:54,958
Truly we have
entered a golden age.
281
00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:57,669
(SCREAMlNG)
282
00:13:57,754 --> 00:13:58,921
MARGE: Attention, everyone.
283
00:14:00,298 --> 00:14:04,843
l wish to
announce the formation
of PPASSCCATAG.
284
00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:07,679
Proud Parents
Against Singles, Seniors,
285
00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:10,474
Childless Couples
and Teens and Gays.
286
00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:12,935
PPASSCCATAG
is also a disease
of the brainstem.
287
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:15,229
That's how l'll
remember it. (LAUGHS)
288
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:18,690
To overturn these
horrible anti-family laws,
289
00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:22,486
we've prepared
the Families Come
First initiative.
290
00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:25,614
Now, the first thing
we're gonna need is money.
291
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:29,409
l'm so sorry, Marge.
292
00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:32,204
But l guess
you get the bill?
293
00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:36,291
Oh, for the love of pizza!
294
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:37,376
Luigi Risotto?
295
00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:38,460
That's me.
296
00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:41,338
l'm from the US
lmmigration Department.
297
00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:45,509
Save our families!
298
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,302
Sign our petition !
299
00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:50,597
The only petitions
that l sign are to bring back
canceled sitcoms.
300
00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:51,723
Thank you.
301
00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:55,394
America needs the wisdom of
Herman's Head
now more than ever.
302
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,730
Well, howdy, ma'am.
l represent the
tobacco lobby.
303
00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:00,899
And frankly,
no politics gets done
304
00:15:00,984 --> 00:15:03,068
in this country without
a little help from us.
305
00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:04,278
(MARGE GASPS lN SURPRlSE)
306
00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:08,407
Now we own you !
307
00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:10,158
But l haven't
endorsed it yet!
308
00:15:12,453 --> 00:15:14,121
Football injury. (LAUGHS)
309
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:16,540
Now why don't you
just sign the check?
310
00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:18,709
Here, use my pen.
311
00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:20,586
Forget it.
312
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,171
(ROARS)
313
00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:30,429
l guess no one
gives a damn about
the American family anymore.
314
00:15:30,513 --> 00:15:32,014
l'll sign your petition.
315
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:35,767
Mr. Burns?
You care about children?
316
00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:37,019
Yes.
317
00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:39,521
Particularly their
supple young organs.
318
00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:43,775
Oh, unfenced backyard pools,
where would l be without you?
319
00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:47,738
Hey, if Burns
is signing that petition,
maybe we should, too.
320
00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:50,741
Yeah. Rich guys always want
what's best for everyone.
321
00:15:56,331 --> 00:16:00,042
Coming up later,
what your dog can teII you
about your prostate.
322
00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:03,378
But first, Marge Simpson's
"Families Come First"
initiative
323
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:04,796
seems to be gaining steam.
324
00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:08,008
Leading her
opponents to counter
with this commercial.
325
00:16:08,343 --> 00:16:11,011
As a mother,
I Iove my famiIy.
326
00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:14,765
That's why I'm against
the "Families Come First"
initiative.
327
00:16:15,183 --> 00:16:17,976
"Families Come First"
will hurt families.
328
00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:21,063
And I Iove my famiIy
too much for that.
329
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:22,898
(lMlTATlNG MARGE)
l'm Marge Simpson,
330
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:25,776
and even I'm against
"Families Come First."
331
00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:29,071
Now it's time to do some coke
off the blade of a knife.
332
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:32,199
That ad makes me
look like a criminal !
333
00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:33,659
Then why did you
appear in it?
334
00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:34,868
That wasn't me!
335
00:16:34,952 --> 00:16:38,163
Maybe she was you
and you're not!
336
00:16:38,373 --> 00:16:39,414
How many kids do we have?
337
00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:40,749
Three.
338
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:41,875
Wrong, lady!
339
00:16:42,085 --> 00:16:43,543
Oh, wait. The baby.
340
00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:45,295
MARGE: l try my best.
341
00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:47,214
They ridicule me.
342
00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:49,800
They mock everything
l cherish.
343
00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:52,135
Honey, this marriage
is a partnership.
344
00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:54,513
When you fall,
l pick you up.
345
00:16:54,597 --> 00:16:56,765
And when you can't
finish a sandwich,
346
00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:59,267
l eat that sandwich.
347
00:17:00,103 --> 00:17:01,770
You're my rock, Homie.
348
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:04,606
And l promise this rock
is gonna weigh you down
349
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,358
for the rest of your life.
350
00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:07,526
Aw!
351
00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:11,697
Honey, no one messes
with my missus.
352
00:17:11,781 --> 00:17:15,367
l'll come down on those guys
like the garage door
on Bart's bike!
353
00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:16,910
What are you going to do?
354
00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:19,037
You just leave
everything to Homer.
355
00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:22,624
And now l believe you owe me
half a sandwich.
356
00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:26,336
l always keep one
near the bed for you.
357
00:17:27,130 --> 00:17:30,882
Here comes my commercial.
ln six, five, four. . .
358
00:17:31,175 --> 00:17:33,510
l probably should've
watched it first.
359
00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:35,470
HOMER: You've probabIy
heard a lot of
360
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,347
bad things about
"Families Come First."
361
00:17:37,432 --> 00:17:40,517
But newspaper writers
are a bunch of jerks.
362
00:17:40,852 --> 00:17:43,770
Who reaIIy opposes
"Families Come First?"
363
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:47,190
Many chiIdIess advocates
are like Ben Affleck.
364
00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:49,317
Famous, successfuI peopIe
365
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:52,696
from out of state!
366
00:17:53,656 --> 00:17:56,491
They Iive in fancy houses
in other pIaces.
367
00:17:56,701 --> 00:17:59,077
"Families Come First"
is supported by
368
00:17:59,162 --> 00:18:01,830
life-long Springfieldians
you know and trust.
369
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:04,040
Like me, Milhouse's dad,
370
00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:06,293
Bumblebee Man, Surly Duff,
371
00:18:06,377 --> 00:18:10,172
and that jerk
that goes, "Yes!"
372
00:18:10,882 --> 00:18:16,344
For more information,
visit our Web site,
www.aI-jazeera.com.
373
00:18:16,679 --> 00:18:17,679
We're not affiliated.
374
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:19,556
We're just piggy-backing
on their message board.
375
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:22,267
l am Rudy Giuliani.
376
00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:24,603
Do as I command you.
377
00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:27,230
l am Rudy Giuliani.
378
00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:30,609
Do as I command you.
379
00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:34,738
lt says, "Yes on 232."
380
00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:37,449
We want no on 232!
381
00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:39,576
Yes on 242!
382
00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:42,579
Either way.
The important thing
is the system works.
383
00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:45,957
And the bumper stickers
misspelled "on."
384
00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:49,252
They all say,
"Yes No 242."
385
00:18:49,504 --> 00:18:50,962
And it's the night
before the election
386
00:18:51,047 --> 00:18:52,422
and you haven't
handed them out!
387
00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:58,303
l need to be alone
right now.
388
00:18:58,721 --> 00:18:59,888
Marge, wait!
389
00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:02,057
l am Rudy Giuliani.
390
00:19:02,183 --> 00:19:05,143
You must forgive Homer.
391
00:19:05,228 --> 00:19:07,979
l am Rudy Giuliani.
392
00:19:08,064 --> 00:19:11,149
You must forgive Homer.
393
00:19:11,234 --> 00:19:12,192
l am. . .
394
00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:15,529
Bart, we're gonna lose.
We have to do something !
395
00:19:15,613 --> 00:19:18,990
Lisa, kids are the problem.
Maybe kids can
be the solution !
396
00:19:19,075 --> 00:19:20,325
Okay. But how?
397
00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:23,370
Hey, l'm the visionary.
You come up with
the nuts and bolts.
398
00:19:23,454 --> 00:19:24,454
Hmm. . .
399
00:19:25,373 --> 00:19:26,414
Oh, my God !
400
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,792
l just had my most
brilliant idea ever!
401
00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:31,127
Don't you mean "my"
most brilliant idea ever?
402
00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:33,046
You don't even know
what the idea is.
403
00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:34,422
l know you have
an ugly face.
404
00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:35,882
Bart, why are we fighting?
405
00:19:35,967 --> 00:19:38,009
Because we're kids.
406
00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:39,761
Kids! Maybe that's
the answer!
407
00:19:39,929 --> 00:19:41,263
(GROANS)
408
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:46,101
There's the enemy.
Give them all you got.
409
00:19:49,772 --> 00:19:56,069
l love you.
410
00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:57,571
l love glue!
411
00:19:57,947 --> 00:19:59,614
l love you !
412
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,700
Aw! Such a sweet
little thing.
413
00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:03,660
Time to destroy your future.
414
00:20:04,745 --> 00:20:06,830
Feeling flu-ish,
415
00:20:08,082 --> 00:20:10,250
fever, nausea,
416
00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:12,335
child germs.
417
00:20:12,670 --> 00:20:15,255
No. Must participate in
418
00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:19,885
democratic process.
419
00:20:19,969 --> 00:20:20,969
(GROANS)
420
00:20:23,139 --> 00:20:25,223
l'm afraid
the polls have closed.
421
00:20:25,308 --> 00:20:29,144
And on Prop 242,
the winner is yes!
422
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,354
(ALL GROANlNG)
423
00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:36,693
For all their
disposable income,
for all their leisure time,
424
00:20:36,777 --> 00:20:41,072
they had no immunity
against God's lowliest
creatures, children.
425
00:20:41,157 --> 00:20:44,242
Looks like everything's
back the way it was
426
00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:47,245
which is the only way
it should ever be.
427
00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:50,123
Great. Let's dump these kids
in an R-rated movie
428
00:20:50,207 --> 00:20:52,417
while we go someplace nice.
429
00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:53,752
Can l bring
my laser pointer?
430
00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:55,086
What do l care?
431
00:21:02,345 --> 00:21:04,429
ROOFl: (SlNGlNG)
One, two, tie your shoe
432
00:21:04,513 --> 00:21:06,431
Three, four,
pick up the fIoor
433
00:21:06,515 --> 00:21:08,350
Five, six,
don't pIay tricks
434
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:10,268
Seven, eight,
cIean your pIate
435
00:21:10,353 --> 00:21:12,896
Nine, ten,
start over again!
436
00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:15,774
One, two, tie your shoe
437
00:21:15,858 --> 00:21:17,692
Three, four,
pick up the fIoor
438
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:19,653
Five, six,
don't pIay tricks
439
00:21:19,737 --> 00:21:21,529
Seven, eight,
cIean your pIate
440
00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:24,407
Nine, ten,
start over again!
441
00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:27,160
One, two, tie your shoe
442
00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:29,120
Three, four,
pick up the fIoor
443
00:21:29,205 --> 00:21:31,081
Five, six,
don't pIay tricks
444
00:21:31,165 --> 00:21:32,958
Seven, eight,
cIean your pIate
445
00:21:33,042 --> 00:21:35,835
Nine, ten,
start over again!
446
00:21:47,431 --> 00:21:48,431
English - US - PSDH
31934
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof