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1
00:00:03,087 --> 00:00:06,130
(SlNGlNG) The Simpsons
2
00:00:06,382 --> 00:00:07,548
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
3
00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:10,551
D'oh !
4
00:00:11,470 --> 00:00:12,762
(BRAKES SCREECHlNG)
5
00:00:27,319 --> 00:00:29,529
Look, Smithers.
Crackle-berries!
6
00:00:29,613 --> 00:00:30,988
Spot me a federal,
will you?
7
00:00:31,073 --> 00:00:34,242
Sir, l've spotted you over
$1 00,000 this year.
8
00:00:34,326 --> 00:00:36,077
Perhaps you could
carry your own money.
9
00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:38,287
(LAUGHlNG)
Money is for the poor.
10
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:39,956
Why don't you use
your ATM card?
11
00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:43,876
Ah ! Yes. The automated teller
machine-eola-trola-maton.
12
00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:45,920
(GRUNTlNG)
13
00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:49,841
Oh, Smithers,
guide me in.
14
00:00:49,925 --> 00:00:51,426
My pleasure, sir.
15
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:55,722
Smithers,
what's my password?
16
00:00:55,806 --> 00:00:56,889
lt's your age, sir.
17
00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:58,141
Excellent.
18
00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:04,188
Let's see.
19
00:01:04,273 --> 00:01:06,649
What's the smallest amount
of money l can think of?
20
00:01:07,276 --> 00:01:08,985
A thousand dollars!
21
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:11,404
Oh !
22
00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:13,990
Oh ! My moolah !
lt's escaping
my clutches!
23
00:01:17,494 --> 00:01:18,745
(BUZZlNG)
24
00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:20,413
Your kid sucks!
25
00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:21,622
Bring it on!
26
00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:23,416
ANNOUNCER: Hockey Dads.
27
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:26,169
Commence fighting!
28
00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:31,466
Hockey Dad rules!
29
00:01:31,550 --> 00:01:34,177
Feel the drunken wrath
of Chuck Shadowski !
30
00:01:35,888 --> 00:01:39,515
Dad, stop! It's onIy assauIt.
Don't make it murder!
31
00:01:39,683 --> 00:01:40,808
lgnore. lgnore.
32
00:01:42,478 --> 00:01:44,437
ANNOUNCER: You are a big man.
33
00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:46,022
Big man!
34
00:01:49,985 --> 00:01:51,027
(GASPS)
35
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:52,111
What?
36
00:01:52,905 --> 00:01:53,946
There's a ladybug
in your hair.
37
00:01:54,031 --> 00:01:56,115
Get it out!
Get it out!
38
00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:57,366
Got it.
39
00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:59,243
You're a good
friend, Bart.
40
00:01:59,578 --> 00:02:01,412
The best you'll
ever have.
41
00:02:01,497 --> 00:02:03,748
$1 ,000.
42
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,959
Do you know how much furniture
we could rent with this?
43
00:02:07,211 --> 00:02:10,171
You'll rent nothing !
This money is mine.
l found it.
44
00:02:10,255 --> 00:02:12,340
Which means
someone lost it.
45
00:02:12,424 --> 00:02:15,259
You'll have to put up flyers
and see if anyone claims it.
46
00:02:15,427 --> 00:02:16,552
(BOTH GASPlNG)
47
00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:19,722
Marge, this is why people
don't tell you things.
48
00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:23,559
(CHUCKLlNG)
49
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:26,270
Well, we put up a flyer.
50
00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:28,648
Let's see someone
claim that money now.
51
00:02:28,732 --> 00:02:30,066
(CHUCKLlNG)
52
00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:31,567
Hey, what does
that flyer say?
53
00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:33,361
What if it's for
guitar lessons?
54
00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:34,570
We must know!
55
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:35,696
l'm on it.
56
00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:41,327
Uh-oh !
57
00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:43,913
You know the drill.
Try to land on my back-fat.
58
00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:47,124
Can you describe
the bill?
59
00:02:47,251 --> 00:02:48,918
Describe? Sure.
Of course.
60
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,294
Whose picture's on it?
61
00:02:51,129 --> 00:02:53,047
lt would have to be
somebody famous.
62
00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:55,800
l'm gonna say, Hitler.
63
00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:56,926
Next.
64
00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:03,391
Does the bill have
bank teller blood on it?
65
00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:04,600
No, it doesn't.
66
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,894
l'm sorry
l wasted your time.
67
00:03:07,229 --> 00:03:08,563
That's the last of them.
68
00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:12,024
You did the right thing, Bart.
And now you can
keep the money.
69
00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:13,359
Sweet.
70
00:03:13,652 --> 00:03:17,780
What am l gonna do
with $1 ,000?
71
00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:23,494
(SlNGlNG) It's Bart's moon
party from outer space
72
00:03:23,579 --> 00:03:27,790
With R2-D2
pIaying the bass
73
00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:29,500
Hmm.
74
00:03:29,585 --> 00:03:31,419
No one's touching
the hors d'oeuvres.
75
00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:35,631
(lN SlNG-SONG)
lt's Bart's moon party
from outer space. . . What?
76
00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:39,468
Bart, why don't you
spend the money on
something for Mom?
77
00:03:39,595 --> 00:03:41,053
She does
so much for us.
78
00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:44,932
Well, someday l'd like
to go on a nice vacation.
79
00:03:45,017 --> 00:03:47,310
We've gone on plenty
of great vacations.
80
00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:51,105
Yeah. But you always
wind up kidnapped
or on a chain gang.
81
00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:54,525
And l don't even want
to get into what happened
on our honeymoon.
82
00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:57,236
HOMER: l still
don't know why you had
that photo enlarged.
83
00:03:57,321 --> 00:03:59,488
Oh, forget it.
Bart, don't waste
your money on me.
84
00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:01,490
(SlGHlNG)
85
00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:02,909
Great, lady.
86
00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:06,704
MlLHOUSE:
Look at the cross-hatching
on Grover Cleveland's tie.
87
00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:10,333
l completely buy
the illusion of shadow.
88
00:04:10,626 --> 00:04:13,294
This must be worth
like a million dollars!
89
00:04:13,378 --> 00:04:14,420
(CLOCK DlNGS)
90
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:16,130
Time's up.
Beat it, do-rags.
91
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,341
l want to see
it some more.
92
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:21,010
lf you let me
keep looking at it,
l'll give you a quarter.
93
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:24,305
Hmm.
This gives me an idea.
94
00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:26,849
(CLASSlCAL MUSlC PLAYlNG)
95
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,187
(ALL GASPlNG lN ADMlRATlON)
96
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:32,688
What's all this
other stuff?
97
00:04:34,066 --> 00:04:35,816
Hey, l'm charging
five bucks to get in.
98
00:04:35,901 --> 00:04:38,319
They deserve to see
the boy behind the bill.
99
00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:40,863
Bart, that exhibit
over there is biased,
100
00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:43,366
insensitive,
and anti-feminist!
101
00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:45,201
Ugh !
102
00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:48,329
You can't whitewash
history, Lise.
103
00:04:49,081 --> 00:04:52,500
What do l get
if l join the museum
as a "Friend of Bart"?
104
00:04:52,751 --> 00:04:55,795
A subscription to
BARTFORUM Magazine,
105
00:04:55,879 --> 00:04:57,880
and Bart will say
"Eat my shorts"
106
00:04:58,006 --> 00:04:59,715
on your home
answering machine.
107
00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:01,968
How much to have
Bart crank call me?
108
00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:04,136
(CHUCKLlNG) That
would be hilarious.
109
00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:06,639
That's just me, though.
You know, l love to laugh.
110
00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:10,559
Young man, l believe
you have something
that belongs to me.
111
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,186
Prove it,
Bony Curtis.
112
00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:16,565
When the errant bill
struck my chest, it left
a distinctive bruise.
113
00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:20,486
Had my heart been
inside at the time,
it could've been fatal.
114
00:05:22,614 --> 00:05:23,906
BART:
lt's a perfect match !
115
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,658
Yoink!
116
00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:27,284
(SCOFFS)
117
00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:29,453
Without that bill,
this ain't a museum.
118
00:05:29,538 --> 00:05:32,665
The Hard Rock Cafe
in Phoenix
has better crap.
119
00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:36,210
l'm recycling
this pin in disgust!
120
00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:45,928
Bart, your museum
took in over $3,000.
121
00:05:46,388 --> 00:05:49,724
Finally, l can get
what l've always wanted.
A used Toyota.
122
00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:51,851
Bart, l don't care
what Mom said.
123
00:05:51,935 --> 00:05:55,354
l think you should use
this money to take her
on a nice vacation.
124
00:05:59,443 --> 00:06:02,570
Well. . . Okay.
For Mom, l'll do it.
Where should we go?
125
00:06:02,654 --> 00:06:04,363
Well, l'd like
to return to Brazil,
126
00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:07,408
but l hear the
monkey problem
is even worse now.
127
00:06:07,659 --> 00:06:10,494
l wanna go to England.
How come?
128
00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:13,581
Back in 1 944, l was
stationed over there.
129
00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:16,000
And l met
a beautiful girl.
130
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,920
Edwina, my slowly
opening flower,
131
00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:21,922
l'm shipping out
in the morning.
132
00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:23,716
Won't you make this
night memorable?
133
00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:26,343
Anything for you,
my brave Yank.
134
00:06:30,265 --> 00:06:33,642
EDWlNA: l say.
Ohhh ! Nice.
135
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:37,938
ABE: Little did l know
I reaIIy was shipping out
in the morning!
136
00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:45,780
l'll never forget you,
Edwina!
137
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:49,075
But l did. . .
138
00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:50,409
Until just now!
139
00:06:50,494 --> 00:06:52,870
Grampa, that's
so romantic.
140
00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:54,246
We gotta go
to England !
141
00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:56,123
That sounds great.
142
00:06:56,208 --> 00:06:59,126
But only if your father
promises to behave.
143
00:06:59,377 --> 00:07:01,462
Marge, l'll be on
my best behavior.
144
00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:04,840
You have my word
as a gentleman and a lady.
145
00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:08,469
Now let's see.
Which rifle should l bring?
146
00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:09,553
(GRUNTS lN DESPAlR)
147
00:07:17,521 --> 00:07:19,855
Hello. Welcome to
the United Kingdom.
148
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:22,274
Prime Minister
Tony Blair?
149
00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:24,944
Why are you
greeting lowlifes
like us at the airport?
150
00:07:25,028 --> 00:07:27,279
Because l want
to encourage
all the world
151
00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:29,782
to come see the beauty
of 21 st century Britain.
152
00:07:30,242 --> 00:07:33,619
Would an American dollar
encourage you to leave us
alone?
153
00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:35,037
No! But thank you.
154
00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:39,250
Tony. . .
l mean, Mister Prime Minister,
what shall we see first?
155
00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:42,711
There's so much to see here.
Parliament, Stratford-on-Avon,
156
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:45,548
the White Cliffs of Dover.
Oh, and you Americans
love castles.
157
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:48,175
There's a huge one
in Edinburgh, the city
where l was born.
158
00:07:48,552 --> 00:07:50,469
The place l was born
is now a gator farm.
159
00:07:50,554 --> 00:07:51,554
Smashing.
160
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:54,348
Maybe you could give us
a personal tour
of your country.
161
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:56,600
l'd love to but l'm late
for an appointment.
162
00:07:56,685 --> 00:07:59,895
l'm greeting
a lovely Dutch couple
at Gate 23. Cheerio.
163
00:08:03,525 --> 00:08:07,153
Wow! l can't believe
we met Mr. Bean !
164
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,657
England is so classy.
165
00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:13,909
Every cab has
its own butler.
166
00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:15,661
Actually,
l'm not a butler.
167
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:17,830
l had already
hired this cab
when you got in.
168
00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:20,082
But the more the merrier,
and all that. (CHUCKLlNG)
169
00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:22,001
Make with the tea, Jeeves.
170
00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:23,836
Yes. Very good, sir.
171
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:30,050
We're big shot tourists
from everyone's
favorite country,
172
00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:31,260
the USA.
173
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:35,347
We saved your ass
in Vietnam and shared our
prostitutes with Hugh Grant!
174
00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:38,809
So give me some free maps
and none of that
dry British wit!
175
00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:41,020
l wouldn't
dream of it, sir.
176
00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:42,062
Thank you.
177
00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,147
Hmm.
178
00:08:43,899 --> 00:08:49,278
Did you spend an unforgettable
night with a soldier
from the US Army in 1 944?
179
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,613
You did?
180
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:53,949
Was he from the
1 st lnfantry Division?
He was?
181
00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:56,952
And was he a gentle,
caring lover?
182
00:08:57,454 --> 00:09:00,456
He was?
Sorry l bothered you.
183
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,792
l don't know if
l'm ever gonna find her.
184
00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:07,546
Aw, Dad. l wish there
was something l could do.
185
00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:10,591
Touch that mini bar
and you're dead !
186
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:11,926
Oh. . .
187
00:09:15,931 --> 00:09:19,350
Look. lt's J. K. Rowling,
author of
the Harry Potter books.
188
00:09:19,643 --> 00:09:22,436
You've turned a generation
of kids on to reading.
189
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:23,812
Thank you, young muggle.
190
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,190
Can you tell me what happens
at the end of the series?
191
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,734
He grows up
and marries you.
192
00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:30,027
ls that what
you want to hear?
193
00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:31,403
Yes.
194
00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:36,325
AII right,
who's hungry?
195
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:39,328
We're right near a
Judi Dench's Fish & Chips.
196
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:45,459
SQUEAKY-VOlCED BRlTlSH TEEN:
Welcome to Judi Dench's
Fish & Chips.
197
00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:48,712
Now completely free
of "Mad Fish Disease."
198
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:52,549
Fish? l don't know.
l'm not really
a vegetarian.
199
00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:55,469
Please order
or Miss Dench'll
be furious.
200
00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:57,888
She'll beat us, she will.
201
00:09:57,973 --> 00:09:59,431
JUDl DENCH:
Who are you taIking to?
202
00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:00,849
TEEN: No one, Mum!
l swear!
203
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,434
JUDl DENCH:
I'II "mum" you!
204
00:10:02,644 --> 00:10:03,769
(CRYlNG OUT lN PAlN)
205
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:04,937
TEEN: BIimey!
206
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:11,026
Well, Marge. You gotta admit,
l've been on my best
behavior this trip.
207
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:13,445
You punched out three
people on the street.
208
00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:15,864
That was over
soccer results.
209
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:19,660
Can you believe
they gave Giggs
a yellow card in the box?
210
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:22,037
Do you understand any part
of what you just said?
211
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:26,417
l understand the word "gave,"
unless it means something
else in this country!
212
00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:30,421
Word to the wise.
213
00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:34,675
British candy is a bit
sweeter than what you're
used to across the pond.
214
00:10:35,010 --> 00:10:37,303
Look, teabag,
just fork over the brown.
215
00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:40,264
BOTH: Mmm !
216
00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:42,266
(UPBEAT MUSlC PLAYlNG)
217
00:11:03,747 --> 00:11:05,748
(BOTH GlGGLlNG MANlACALLY)
218
00:11:18,762 --> 00:11:22,264
Homie,
l don't think we'll be able
to find the kids from up here.
219
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:24,391
Now, now.
Let's just look.
220
00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:27,102
There's Big Ben.
There's Piccadilly Circus.
221
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:29,772
There's Jimmy Page,
one of the greatest thieves
222
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:32,274
of American black music
who ever walked the earth.
223
00:11:32,734 --> 00:11:33,776
There's the kids.
224
00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:37,196
(DRAMATlC MUSlC PLAYlNG)
225
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:42,951
(BOTH GROANlNG)
226
00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:45,871
Well, look at those
filthy urchins.
227
00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:48,374
Surely they could never be
taught proper manners.
228
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:51,668
One gold sovereign says
l could do just that.
229
00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:55,047
(CHUCKLlNG)
lt's a bet,
Lord Daftwager!
230
00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:58,634
You can't bet on my kids!
This is America, pal !
231
00:11:59,302 --> 00:12:01,804
Don't worry.
We'll find more wagers.
232
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:04,390
l love you,
Lord Daftwager.
233
00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:05,849
Yes. And l you.
234
00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,019
Yes, quite.
235
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:13,816
Ohhh ! Look at all these
classy British plays.
236
00:12:19,197 --> 00:12:20,531
l don't have
a cherry orchard.
237
00:12:20,615 --> 00:12:21,615
(GASPS)
238
00:12:24,786 --> 00:12:28,831
Sir lan McKellen !
You're my favorite
Shakespearean actor.
239
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,416
Thank you, my dear.
240
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:33,127
Please take these
free tickets to my play.
241
00:12:33,211 --> 00:12:34,211
What? What play?
242
00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:37,965
We thespians believe
it's bad luck to mention
the name of this
243
00:12:38,049 --> 00:12:40,259
particular play out loud.
244
00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:41,343
You mean Macbeth?
245
00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:46,849
Quiet, you blundering fool !
You'll curse us all !
246
00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:48,517
What?
By saying Macbeth?
247
00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:50,811
Stop saying it!
248
00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:51,937
Saying what?
249
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:53,021
Macbeth !
250
00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:54,857
Ah !
Now l've said it!
251
00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:56,233
(CRACKLlNG)
252
00:12:56,568 --> 00:12:59,361
Ohhh ! This is cool !
Macbeth !
Macbeth ! Macbeth !
253
00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:01,947
Bart!
Stop saying Macbeth !
(CRACKLlNG)
254
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:04,032
Mom, you said Macbeth !
(CRACKLlNG)
255
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,619
Mr. Macbeth,
l'm really sorry.
256
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,330
That's quite all right.
You didn't know.
257
00:13:10,665 --> 00:13:13,625
Now if you'll excuse me,
l have a performance to give.
258
00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:14,668
Good luck!
259
00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:16,587
lt's bad luck
to say that, too!
260
00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:18,297
(ALL GASPlNG)
261
00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:25,971
Homie, you're doing
a great job driving
on the left.
262
00:13:26,181 --> 00:13:29,433
This is turning out
to be our most
enjoyable trip ever.
263
00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:33,061
Yes, this trip is
entirely uneventful.
264
00:13:33,688 --> 00:13:34,980
(CHUCKLlNG)
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
265
00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:38,233
Dad, no! You turned
into a roundabout!
266
00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:40,235
ALL: Whoa!
267
00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:42,529
Whoa!
268
00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:45,991
MARGE: Turn,
turn, keep turning.
269
00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:49,536
Keep turning,
keep turning,
keep turning.
270
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,622
HOMER:
l see an opening !
MARGE: No, it's too risky!
271
00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:54,041
We'll just wait till
the traffic thins out!
272
00:13:54,125 --> 00:13:57,503
Turn, turn. Keep turning,
keep turning, keep turning.
273
00:13:57,587 --> 00:14:00,297
(GROGGlLY)
Keep turning, keep turning.
274
00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:03,675
That's it!
l'm acting the way
America acts best!
275
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:04,843
Unilaterally!
276
00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:06,178
(CARS HONKlNG)
277
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:07,429
(ALL SCREAMlNG)
278
00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:10,349
Ahhh !
279
00:14:12,894 --> 00:14:15,479
Okay, l'm gonna go
over there and see
if they're cool.
280
00:14:17,232 --> 00:14:19,191
Okay, let's see.
281
00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:21,652
Oh, you can
buff that out.
282
00:14:21,736 --> 00:14:24,530
We can buff that out.
That's factory error.
283
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:26,657
Oh, that thing is
supposed to be on fire.
284
00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:31,662
Lady, please.
285
00:14:31,746 --> 00:14:33,705
Get back in your
overturned car.
286
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,499
Let the guys
handle this.
287
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:37,251
We'll deal with him,
Your Majesty.
288
00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:40,045
(SCOFFS) Your Majesty?
(MlMlCS WHlPPlNG)
289
00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:43,257
Dad, you rear-ended
the Queen of England !
290
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:44,716
The Queen of what?
291
00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:46,593
(CRYlNG OUT lN PAlN)
292
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:49,012
(TRUMPET BLOWlNG)
293
00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:51,265
MAN: Changing of the guard !
294
00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:53,642
(GROANlNG)
295
00:14:56,688 --> 00:14:59,273
HOMER: Wait! We have
to exchange insurance!
296
00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:00,941
(CRYlNG OUT lN PAlN)
297
00:15:08,992 --> 00:15:10,033
(JUDGE POUNDlNG GAVEL)
298
00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:14,371
Homer Simpson,
you are hereby charged with
damaging the Royal Coach
299
00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:17,165
and putting several dents
in the Royal Horse.
300
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:18,292
How do you plead?
301
00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:21,503
M'Lord,
we Americans
love queens.
302
00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:23,714
Be they homecoming
or dairy.
303
00:15:23,965 --> 00:15:26,800
This woman, however,
is an imposter!
304
00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:27,968
(ALL GASPlNG)
305
00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:31,597
Her luggage is inscribed
"H. R. H."
306
00:15:32,015 --> 00:15:34,516
Which means her
real name must be. . .
307
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:37,185
Henrietta R. Hippo!
308
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:40,689
Why did you let him
be his own barrister?
309
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:44,067
What difference could it make?
He hit the friggin' Queen !
310
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:48,280
l guess
it's just too much for me
to ask for one vacation
311
00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:52,075
where we don't go to jail
or to a condo sales pitch.
312
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:55,537
Your Honor,
l've completely
disappointed my wife.
313
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:57,247
That's punishment enough.
314
00:15:57,332 --> 00:16:00,000
You understand these things.
You're a grandmother.
315
00:16:00,877 --> 00:16:02,210
l'm a man !
316
00:16:02,712 --> 00:16:07,049
(CHUCKLlNG NERVOUSLY)
And a very manly one
if l may say so, m'Lord.
317
00:16:07,342 --> 00:16:09,343
lf l might say a word?
318
00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:10,510
(ALL GASPlNG)
319
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,555
l haven't had
an easy life.
320
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,475
l've seen my country
ravaged by war,
321
00:16:16,559 --> 00:16:18,894
my family torn
by tragedy,
322
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:21,104
and then as l was
innocently making
323
00:16:21,189 --> 00:16:23,482
my way to the shops
to buy light bulbs,
324
00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:27,152
l was blindsided
by this great
lumbering brute!
325
00:16:27,612 --> 00:16:29,655
Boy, she's good.
326
00:16:30,031 --> 00:16:34,409
lf she were 1 00 years younger
and l were 1 00 years older. . .
Oh !
327
00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:38,121
lf there is any love
left in you for me,
328
00:16:38,206 --> 00:16:39,581
destroy him !
329
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:45,253
America rules! Our Beatles
are way better than your
precious Rolling Stones!
330
00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:54,304
(BlRD CAWlNG)
331
00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:57,849
ln this cell
sits Homer Simpson,
332
00:16:58,226 --> 00:17:01,269
the most villainous blackguard
to be held in this tower
333
00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:03,438
since Edward
the Puppy Eater.
334
00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:04,940
(ALL EXCLAlMlNG lN HORROR)
335
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:07,984
Look at his great
staring eyes.
336
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:10,195
Like saucers they are.
337
00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:12,322
(lN MOCK BRlTlSH ACCENT)
He claimed he was
me father, he did.
338
00:17:12,407 --> 00:17:13,907
Bart, you're not helping.
339
00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:17,160
Poke the monster
with a stick!
Tuppence a jab!
340
00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:18,912
Come on,
queue up, lads.
341
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:21,623
Oh, Marge,
l am so sorry.
342
00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:24,960
l should've listened
to whatever it was
you were saying.
343
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:29,172
lt's partly my fault.
l've been nagging you
so much on this trip,
344
00:17:29,257 --> 00:17:32,050
you couldn't know
which nags to focus on.
345
00:17:32,135 --> 00:17:35,971
Well, Marge, if l die here,
there's one thing l
want you to remember.
346
00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:38,640
Don't buy any
videotapes in England !
347
00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:41,727
They won't work
in our VCR!
348
00:17:41,811 --> 00:17:42,811
(SOBBlNG)
349
00:17:44,147 --> 00:17:46,982
Dear God of England,
please let me go.
350
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,693
ln return,
l will spell the word
"color" with a "U."
351
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:54,322
And l will use the metric
system with every cubic
milliliter of blood in my. . .
352
00:17:54,699 --> 00:17:56,992
Oh, l can't do it!
lt's so stupid !
353
00:17:57,326 --> 00:17:59,035
BART: Dad !
Huh? Oh !
354
00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:01,747
We found a secret tunnel
out of the Tower!
355
00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:04,166
lt was used by
Sir Walter Raleigh !
356
00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:07,002
A secret tunnel?
l don't know.
357
00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:09,212
Won't that get me
in more trouble?
358
00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:11,089
Homer, you couldn't
be in more trouble.
359
00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:12,966
They're going to put
your head on a pike.
360
00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:14,885
They're practicing
with melons.
361
00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:19,765
Smash it on ! Don't worry it.
Let the pike do the work.
362
00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:21,224
Okay, what do l do?
363
00:18:21,309 --> 00:18:24,478
Push the gray brick
in the back of the
fireplace!
364
00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:26,354
Sweet freedom, here l. . .
Ahhh !
365
00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:27,564
(SlZZLlNG)
366
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,358
Put out the fire first!
367
00:18:35,406 --> 00:18:37,949
Boy, it's a good thing
l'm leaving before
l went nuts.
368
00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:39,326
Goodbye, sparkly elves!
369
00:18:39,410 --> 00:18:40,702
ALL: Goodbye!
370
00:18:44,499 --> 00:18:47,584
Oh, my God.
We've made
a terrible mistake.
371
00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:50,629
This tunnel comes out
in the worst possible place!
372
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:52,005
An elephant's butt?
373
00:18:52,089 --> 00:18:54,216
Yes, Bart.
An elephant's butt.
374
00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:58,053
Boy, a Krispy Kreme would
really clean up down here.
375
00:19:00,932 --> 00:19:03,475
Hey, this place
is amazing !
376
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:05,268
lt's fit for a Duke,
377
00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:07,229
or even an Earl. . .
378
00:19:09,732 --> 00:19:10,774
Oh !
379
00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:12,317
(BLOWS SHRlLL BLAST)
Uh-oh.
380
00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:13,527
The Queen's
in trouble!
381
00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:15,737
And you didn't want
to give her a whistle!
382
00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:18,907
(SCREAMS)
383
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,283
Please, Your Majesty.
384
00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:22,410
l know that l,
like many other Americans,
385
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:24,496
have behaved like
a total buffoon.
386
00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:29,835
But we Americans are
England's children.
387
00:19:29,919 --> 00:19:32,170
l know we don't call
as often as we should
388
00:19:32,255 --> 00:19:36,967
and we aren't as
well-behaved as our goody
two-shoes brother Canada,
389
00:19:37,051 --> 00:19:40,053
who by the way
has never had a girlfriend.
390
00:19:40,263 --> 00:19:41,763
l'm just saying.
391
00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:46,768
But please, find it
in your jewel-encrusted
heart to forgive me.
392
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,898
That was very sweet
of the Queen
393
00:19:51,983 --> 00:19:55,777
letting you go
in exchange for taking
Madonna back to America.
394
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:59,823
MADONNA:
(lN FAKE BRlTlSH ACCENT)
l'm telling you, l'm English.
395
00:20:00,283 --> 00:20:03,368
English women
don't pump gas naked.
396
00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:05,453
See you in
Atlanta, bitch !
397
00:20:05,788 --> 00:20:07,289
EDWlNA: Abe Simpson.
398
00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:10,208
Are you leaving again
without saying goodbye?
399
00:20:10,459 --> 00:20:13,003
Edwina,
you got my message!
400
00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:16,548
Sorry l never
saw you again.
401
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:20,510
l just felt
the cultural differences
between us were too great.
402
00:20:20,595 --> 00:20:23,221
Plus, as the boat
pulled away from the dock,
403
00:20:23,306 --> 00:20:25,348
l thought you looked fat.
404
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:28,226
You don't have
to apologize, Abe.
405
00:20:28,311 --> 00:20:30,645
You Yanks
saved our bacon.
406
00:20:30,813 --> 00:20:32,105
Mmm !
407
00:20:32,189 --> 00:20:33,773
Bacon.
408
00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:35,191
(DROOLlNG)
409
00:20:35,526 --> 00:20:39,195
Abe, this is
my daughter Abbey.
410
00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:41,823
She's 58,
this month.
411
00:20:42,033 --> 00:20:45,785
Fifty-eight?
Well, 59 years ago,
412
00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:48,330
your mother and l
were have. . . Oh !
413
00:20:48,831 --> 00:20:50,832
Well, gotta go!
See you in heaven !
414
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:56,087
Mummy, he's everything
you said he was.
415
00:20:56,172 --> 00:20:58,089
Lady,
you're gorgeous.
416
00:20:58,174 --> 00:21:00,550
You make Dame Edna
look like a dude.
417
00:21:00,843 --> 00:21:02,344
Why, thank you.
418
00:21:02,678 --> 00:21:04,638
You're all right, love.
419
00:21:05,056 --> 00:21:07,641
(MAJESTlC lNSTRUMENTAL
MUSlC PLAYlNG)
420
00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:58,441
English - US - PSDH
31112
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