Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:06,089
(SlNGlNG) The Simpsons
2
00:00:06,382 --> 00:00:07,548
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
3
00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:10,551
D'oh !
4
00:00:10,761 --> 00:00:12,929
(SCREAMlNG)
(BRAKES SCREECHlNG)
5
00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:14,472
(CAMERA MACHlNERY WHlRRlNG)
6
00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:31,280
Oh, boy!
Casino night!
7
00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:35,576
Finally, they'll teach
our kids the dangers of
doubling down on a six.
8
00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:39,372
l really shouldn't be here.
l have a problem with games
of chance.
9
00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:43,459
l played Candy Land
with Maggie and ended up
throwing vodka in her face.
10
00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:46,713
Aw, Marge.
l bet you've gotten
that out of your system.
11
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:50,133
Bet? System?
Betting system?
12
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:52,593
God is telling me
to gamble!
13
00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:55,179
(PEOPLE PROTESTlNG)
Hey! Hey! Hey!
14
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:59,475
Deal. Hit me,
hit me, hit me.
Busted.
15
00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:01,018
(WHlMPERS)
16
00:01:03,147 --> 00:01:05,565
Welcome to Springfield
Elementary Casino Night.
17
00:01:05,649 --> 00:01:09,068
My fee for this evening
goes to victims of
my criminal recidivism.
18
00:01:09,153 --> 00:01:12,613
So relax, have fun
and please God
don't piss me off.
19
00:01:13,198 --> 00:01:16,159
Congratulations,
Mr. Student Body President.
20
00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:17,827
Your Casino Night
is a huge success.
21
00:01:17,953 --> 00:01:19,370
Thanks,
Principal Skinner.
22
00:01:19,455 --> 00:01:22,165
l got the idea
from an episode of
Saved by the Bell.
23
00:01:22,875 --> 00:01:24,792
lt was always on
too late for me.
24
00:01:24,877 --> 00:01:27,628
l'll put everything
on lucky 1 7.
25
00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:30,757
(REPEATlNG) D'oh !
26
00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:33,009
Woo-hoo!
D'oh ! D'oh ! D'oh. . .
27
00:01:34,470 --> 00:01:36,345
Woo-hoo!
D'oh ! D'oh. . .
28
00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:46,731
Woo-hoo!
29
00:01:46,857 --> 00:01:49,066
And the winner
is 1 7!
30
00:01:49,151 --> 00:01:50,359
l win !
31
00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:53,488
This is it, baby.
First thing tomorrow,
32
00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:55,782
we're getting
a PlayStation One.
33
00:01:55,866 --> 00:01:56,908
Ohhh !
34
00:01:57,826 --> 00:01:59,702
l'd like to cash
in these chips.
35
00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:04,373
Give me most of it in cash
and the rest in suitcases
to carry the cash.
36
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:06,793
Sir, this casino
is for charity.
37
00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:09,712
These chips
are only redeemable
in cafeteria scrip
38
00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:12,298
or a day at the ballpark
with Groundskeeper Willie.
39
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:17,303
l'll be bringin' sparkplugs
to chuck at people l
don't like, like you !
40
00:02:17,513 --> 00:02:20,223
But l'm up $200,000.
41
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,558
Give me my money!
42
00:02:23,018 --> 00:02:25,061
Think l won't
manhandle
a little boy?
43
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:28,356
You don't understand.
lt's not real money.
44
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,858
None of these people
have won any money.
45
00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:32,485
What?
46
00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:34,904
Didn't anyone
read the flyer?
47
00:02:35,239 --> 00:02:37,281
lt was sent home
last Tuesday.
48
00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:39,408
(MlLHOUSE SCREAMlNG)
49
00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:43,663
Look at me!
l'm a big man !
50
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:48,334
But l break just
like a little girl.
51
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,507
Well, this was
a disaster.
52
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:58,719
l should've known.
The same thing happened
on Saved by the Bell.
53
00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:00,763
Care for a milk?
No, thank you.
54
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,890
Martin, in light
of this fiasco,
55
00:03:02,975 --> 00:03:05,351
you're going to have
to resign as president.
56
00:03:06,311 --> 00:03:08,104
l'll have that milk now.
57
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:11,357
Easy there.
That's whole milk.
58
00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:15,111
l'm a private citizen now!
l can drink what l like!
59
00:03:15,487 --> 00:03:19,031
You won't have Martin Prince
to kick around anymore!
60
00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:21,868
(SOLEMN MUSlC PLAYlNG)
61
00:03:24,663 --> 00:03:27,331
Well, l guess we're gonna need
a new student body president.
62
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,542
We're from Acme
Amusement Rental.
63
00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:31,669
We're looking for
Principal Skinner.
64
00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:36,132
Uh. Yes, we all are.
Whoo!
65
00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:38,175
(HUMMlNG)
66
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:39,844
Oh !
67
00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:42,722
Hey, student body
president!
68
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:48,728
Ah ! l can join
past presidents like
Otto, or Krusty. . .
69
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:52,732
Nelson, you're running
for president?
70
00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:55,192
l'm not saying
l have all the
answers,
71
00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:58,988
but l do have
all the answer keys
to every test.
72
00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:00,239
(ALL CHEERlNG)
73
00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:05,161
Fractions, dinosaurs,
foreign money,
the first Thanksgiving.
74
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:07,038
Nelson, what
are you doing?
75
00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:08,831
Real estate
license exam.
76
00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:10,750
My ticket to freedom !
77
00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:13,085
(CHANTlNG) Nelson ! Nelson !
78
00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:14,295
l'm doomed.
79
00:04:15,339 --> 00:04:17,006
(SlGHlNG)
l can't beat Nelson.
80
00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:23,054
Why don't you start a rumor
that he's ding-a-ling-a-ling,
hello!
81
00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:24,221
(GlGGLlNG EFFEMlNATELY)
82
00:04:24,306 --> 00:04:28,100
What a delicious quiche!
l drive a pink Miata!
83
00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:30,645
l can't believe Nelson
is more popular than me.
84
00:04:30,729 --> 00:04:32,563
(VOCALlZlNG EFFEMlNATELY)
85
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:36,692
Honey, you could be popular.
You've just gotta be yourself
86
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:38,361
in a whole new way!
87
00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:40,446
No. l'm gonna
stick to my platform
88
00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:43,032
of incremental
policy amelioration.
89
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:46,577
Fluoridated water fountains,
vegan lunch options.
90
00:04:46,662 --> 00:04:49,789
(LlSPlNG)
My name is Nelson.
l use a salad fork.
91
00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:51,832
La-dee-dah !
l wash my face!
92
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:53,793
Where did you
get that tutu?
93
00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:54,919
Clothesline.
94
00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:56,545
(GlGGLlNG)
95
00:04:57,589 --> 00:05:01,759
And we deserve
a French teacher who
actually speaks French !
96
00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:04,804
(SPEAKlNG FRENCH)
97
00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:06,639
What is she
yakkin' about?
98
00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:08,474
l rest my case.
99
00:05:09,101 --> 00:05:10,101
(SCATTERED COUGH)
100
00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:13,062
Nelson, rebuttal?
101
00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:16,190
Yo, everyone,
it's me, Nelson !
102
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,817
(ALL CHEERlNG)
103
00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:22,196
(CHANTlNG)
Nelson ! Nelson !
Nelson ! Nelson !
104
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:27,618
(SlNGlNG) I'm not that cooI
I don't wear jeans
105
00:05:28,537 --> 00:05:32,581
I've poIished
an appIe or two
106
00:05:32,916 --> 00:05:39,088
But every
grade that I grubbed
I grubbed it for you
107
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:44,510
So call me Bookworm
108
00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:50,099
But I'II never squirm
when there's work to be done
109
00:05:50,726 --> 00:05:55,187
Yes, l'll take
my Iunch at my desk
110
00:05:55,689 --> 00:06:01,444
WhiIe you're aII
outside having fun
111
00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:09,660
Don't vote for me
kids of Springfield
112
00:06:09,745 --> 00:06:14,707
UnIess you want
an effective leader
113
00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:19,712
l'll talk to teachers
l'll handle Skinner
114
00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:25,384
A vote for Lisa
makes you the winner
115
00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:29,889
Vote Lisa!
Vote Lisa! Vote Lisa!
116
00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:33,934
Hey, l've got
a song, too.
117
00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:37,229
(SlNGlNG) I am Iron Man!
118
00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:38,856
(PLAYlNG AlR GUlTAR)
119
00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:40,483
Vote for me!
120
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:41,567
Ah, screw it.
121
00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:51,202
Lisa. Lisa. Lisa.
122
00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:54,663
Wow, she even
beat perennial write-in
candidate "Skinner Sucks."
123
00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:57,124
Skinner!
l'm worried.
124
00:06:57,209 --> 00:07:00,461
This girl is extremely
popular
and thinks for herself.
125
00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:03,172
She's like a female
Eleanor Roosevelt.
126
00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:05,633
Yeah. The students
will do anything she says.
127
00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:09,386
She's captured their
imagination like a bright
piece of construction paper.
128
00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:12,389
Yes. Well,
we've got to find
a way to control her.
129
00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:16,602
Hey, maybe that escaped
mental patient you've hired
130
00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:18,729
has some sort of
toxin in his shack.
131
00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:20,439
Yes. Hello, Willie.
132
00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:24,777
Well, if you ask me,
a woman's weakness
is her sense of vanity.
133
00:07:25,028 --> 00:07:28,280
Vanity? You might have
something there, Edna.
134
00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:30,991
So when's my
inauguration?
135
00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:35,746
Hmm. Let's see.
When hell freezes
over, tough guy.
136
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:39,625
You wanted to see me?
137
00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:42,545
Actually, Lisa,
l wanted you to see you.
138
00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:44,046
You're our president now.
139
00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:47,508
But you look like
the First Lady of Yawn.
140
00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:48,884
What would you change?
141
00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:56,100
(SlNGlNG) Eyes, pearIs, smiIe
hair points, dress, voice
shoes, Swatch watch
142
00:07:57,102 --> 00:08:01,522
I may be the new girI
But you can't brainwash me
143
00:08:01,606 --> 00:08:05,818
Just OshKosh B'Gosh me
And then leave me be
144
00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:12,241
To fight for kid power
l must be heard not seen
145
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:16,036
I have to Iead wiseIy
Not just primp and preen
146
00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:18,164
NaiIs, dimpIes
ears, scrunchie
147
00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:21,083
Purse, lunchbox
teeth, Milhouse
148
00:08:22,252 --> 00:08:24,336
This cuting up suits me
149
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:26,505
There's beauty within me
150
00:08:26,590 --> 00:08:28,465
So let's Olsen twin me
151
00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:30,718
Give them someone to love
152
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,970
This grownup makeover
153
00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:37,183
Has made me a super tween
154
00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:43,189
For they are my peopIe
and I am their queen
155
00:08:44,608 --> 00:08:48,027
Oh, Lisa.
You look so successful.
156
00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:50,279
Like you're the wife
of a businessman.
157
00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:53,073
l wish l'd married
a businessman.
158
00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:55,451
Then l'd have
nice things.
159
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,578
Well, it's a little
over the top.
160
00:08:57,662 --> 00:08:59,788
But there's no reason
l can't look good
161
00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:02,458
and take back
the playground
from the gypsies.
162
00:09:02,626 --> 00:09:04,585
(PLAYlNG FOLK TUNE)
163
00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:06,795
ls our Frisbee now.
164
00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:11,008
Hey, Lisa!
Can l get a photo
for the front page?
165
00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:14,970
lt'll either be a picture of
you or the drinking fountain
that won't stop running.
166
00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:16,472
Make it snappy,
Milhouse.
167
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,891
l've got an important meeting
in the Teachers' Lounge.
168
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:24,563
The Teachers' Lounge.
ls it true they make fun
of students in there?
169
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,440
Oh, don't be silly.
170
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:28,817
WlLLlE: Look at me.
l'm Milhouse.
171
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,153
l tuck my shirt
into me underpants.
172
00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:32,905
(ALL LAUGHlNG)
173
00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:36,242
WlLLlE: l've got no friends.
So l confide in Willie.
174
00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:37,868
(LAUGHlNG LOUDLY)
175
00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:39,495
(GlGGLlNG NERVOUSLY)
176
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:41,914
Oh, that's good. . .
177
00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:47,211
Oh, hello, Lisa.
We were just discussing
Vasco da Gama.
178
00:09:47,545 --> 00:09:52,091
Well, l have some ideas
for ways we can improve
the classroom experience.
179
00:09:52,175 --> 00:09:54,343
We need to get
teachers more involved.
180
00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:57,596
Have them meet with
struggling kids in the
morning before school.
181
00:09:57,681 --> 00:10:00,015
Fine. l'll come in early
to meet with students.
182
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:02,851
And l'll have
hypnotherapy when?
183
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:05,688
Or we could hand out
teachers' home phone
numbers
184
00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:08,565
so kids can call them
whenever they have questions.
185
00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:10,985
l've got a question.
You're crazy.
186
00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:12,861
Look, in the Swedish
public schools,
187
00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:15,614
the students grade
the teachers on
their performance.
188
00:10:15,699 --> 00:10:18,367
Outstanding notions.
Each more implementable
than the last.
189
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:21,578
lt's a shame you can't stay
to discuss them. Here's your
schedule for the day.
190
00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:25,249
"Photo op
helping kindergartners
take off snow boots."
191
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:27,543
"Move the brush
fire hazard needle"?
192
00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:30,879
Shouldn't l stay here
and work on school policy?
193
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:33,549
Lisa, you were elected
to be seen and enjoyed.
194
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:38,304
Don't hide your light
in a smoky back room
making dusty old decisions.
195
00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:39,763
(GlGGLlNG)
196
00:10:39,848 --> 00:10:41,849
Well, l am proud
of my light.
197
00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:44,560
But just in case you want
to do any more thinking,
198
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:47,563
l'm proud to present you
with an official key
to the study hall.
199
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,898
(GASPlNG)
Use it anytime you like.
200
00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:52,943
You mean l can come to
the school after hours?
201
00:10:53,028 --> 00:10:55,154
Weekends?
Even during the summer?
202
00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:58,574
Yes. lt's like you're
Harry Potter without
the magic and wonder.
203
00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:01,702
Just sign these
authorization forms and
you can be on your way.
204
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:05,914
(CHUCKLES)
205
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:09,460
That little girl should
learn to read things
before she signs them.
206
00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:13,005
Excuse me. l was
wondering if l should
read what l just signed.
207
00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:15,674
No. Just standard key
release boilerplate.
208
00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:16,759
Okay.
209
00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:19,261
Boy, she'll
believe anything.
210
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:22,056
"Key release boilerplate"?
l find that very
hard to believe.
211
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:24,016
Mmm-hmm.
And yet there it is.
212
00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:26,643
l'll just
lock this door.
213
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,147
Boy, this key
opens everything.
(GROANS)
214
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:34,526
And then as school
president, l don't have
to take the hearing test.
215
00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,320
l'm so proud
of you, Lisa.
216
00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:37,363
What?
217
00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:42,284
You're like Geraldine Ferraro.
Except you won where
she failed miserably.
218
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:45,371
Well, l think l can
say with all humility,
219
00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:48,707
l am gonna be
the best school
president ever!
220
00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:50,334
(SLOW APPLAUSE)
221
00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:53,170
(SARCASTlCALLY)
Bravo, Lisa. Bravo.
222
00:11:53,296 --> 00:11:57,216
Oh, isn't that sweet?
Even your brother's
adding his kudos.
223
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:59,051
l was being sarcastic.
224
00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:00,094
You were?
225
00:12:00,178 --> 00:12:02,721
(SARCASTlCALLY)
No, l was being sincere.
226
00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:04,556
Oh, l'm so confused.
227
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:08,852
Lise, Skinner is using
you like a pawn on his
unholy chess set.
228
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:11,980
On my chess set,
the pawns are all
Hamburglars.
229
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,148
(UPBEAT MUSlC PLAYlNG)
230
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:16,485
(SlNGlNG) I'm so happy
with my eviI pIan
231
00:12:16,861 --> 00:12:19,655
Say goodbye to
music gym and art
232
00:12:20,615 --> 00:12:23,992
Soon we will have
the perfect schooI
233
00:12:24,119 --> 00:12:26,829
Where fun and
excitement never start
234
00:12:27,831 --> 00:12:31,083
l'm so drunk
I can bareIy see
235
00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:34,878
But it heIps me
get through another day
236
00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:38,674
My stomach is fiIIed
with haggis and hurt
237
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:42,136
I've got to go
puke in some hay
238
00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:44,388
Lisa is a fool
239
00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:46,223
l think the rules are cool
240
00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:48,517
I've faIIen in the pooI
241
00:12:50,854 --> 00:12:51,854
SEYMOUR: Mmm !
242
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:54,106
Not a cloud
in the sky.
243
00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:56,733
A perfect day to unveil
Operation S. L.A.A.A.M.
244
00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:59,736
So Long Athletics,
Art, and Music.
Care for a t-shirt?
245
00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:00,779
T-shirt?
246
00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:04,283
Why don't you just give me
a sandwich board that says
"male prostitute"?
247
00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:05,617
(EMBARRASSED LAUGH)
248
00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:06,702
Forgive me, sir.
249
00:13:08,413 --> 00:13:09,496
(GASPlNG)
250
00:13:09,581 --> 00:13:12,958
They've taken everything.
Oh, no.
251
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,376
(WEEPlNG)
252
00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:18,422
Look what they've
done to my triangle.
253
00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:24,011
(PANTlNG) l'm doing it!
l'm almost to the top!
254
00:13:24,179 --> 00:13:27,431
Hello, self-esteem !
255
00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:28,724
Repo man !
256
00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:30,726
Ahhh ! Ow!
257
00:13:30,852 --> 00:13:31,935
(LAUGHS)
258
00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:33,479
l love this job.
259
00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:37,649
"All extra-curricular
activities are hereby
canceled,
260
00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:40,068
"to be replaced
by nothing !"
261
00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:41,487
(ALL GASPlNG)
262
00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:43,822
Who would sign
such an order?
263
00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:46,366
"As ordered by
Principal Skinner
264
00:13:46,451 --> 00:13:49,828
"and approved by Student Body
President Lisa Simpson !"
265
00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:51,246
(ALL GASPlNG)
266
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:54,541
And to think l was gonna
ask you to the dance!
267
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:56,001
l would've gone
with you.
268
00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:57,961
Well, you still can !
269
00:13:58,087 --> 00:13:59,755
Well, l don't
feel like it now.
270
00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:04,551
Oh ! That's cool.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
271
00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:05,844
(RUMBLlNG)
272
00:14:06,638 --> 00:14:08,847
Look, they're taking
away the art room !
273
00:14:10,892 --> 00:14:14,269
l'll be cooking
my Lean Cuisine
in your kiln tonight!
274
00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:16,146
(LAUGHlNG EVlLLY)
275
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,443
(SlNGlNG) What have I done?
276
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:23,237
What they wanted you to
277
00:14:24,322 --> 00:14:26,031
Skinner betrayed me
278
00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:27,741
But a tango
takes two
279
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:30,494
l almost had a date.
280
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:32,913
l've gotta tell
Willie about this.
281
00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:41,672
(lN A SlNG-SONG VOlCE)
Lisa is a sellout.
Lisa is a sellout.
282
00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:43,757
Lisa, what's
a sellout?
283
00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:47,302
With the band gone,
how will l know
who to beat up?
284
00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:50,764
They eliminated
English for Fat Kids!
285
00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:52,307
Okay, you'll do!
286
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,936
Lise, you made this
school even worse.
287
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:58,897
And it wasn't exactly
San Diego State
to begin with.
288
00:15:00,692 --> 00:15:02,359
They made me
pretty and popular
289
00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:05,445
just so they could
exploit me and ruin
my good name.
290
00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:08,240
Lisa, you've got to
stand up to these guys.
291
00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:10,951
And when you do,
people will
remember you.
292
00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:13,078
Just look at these
postage stamps.
293
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:16,498
There's Bugs Bunny,
Fat Elvis,
Autumn in New England,
294
00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:19,543
Bats of the Southwest,
all heroes.
295
00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:21,336
Do you want to see
Elvis kiss a bat?
296
00:15:21,504 --> 00:15:23,797
(MlMlCKlNG ELVlS PRESLEY)
Hey, baby, come here.
l want to kiss you.
297
00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:25,173
(KlSSlNG) Squeak, squeak!
298
00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:26,508
No, don't kiss me.
299
00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:31,179
You tricked me
into betraying my
fellow students!
300
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,890
Lisa, student government
is meaningless.
301
00:15:33,975 --> 00:15:37,269
Look at your constitution.
lt's written on the back
of a place mat.
302
00:15:37,353 --> 00:15:41,148
And not a good place mat.
lt's from someplace called
"Doodles."
303
00:15:41,232 --> 00:15:42,232
l see.
304
00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:45,485
Principal Skinner, may l make
an announcement to the school?
305
00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:47,404
l can't see the harm.
306
00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:50,407
l hereby resign
as your president.
307
00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:55,495
And for my last act l call
a general student strike
effective immediately!
308
00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:56,580
Gimme that!
309
00:15:56,664 --> 00:16:00,542
Any student caught striking
will be severely disciplined
unless all of you do it.
310
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:01,627
Then l'm stymied.
311
00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,629
(CHANTlNG) Strike!
Strike! Strike!
312
00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:07,049
Lisa, please help me
lure them back.
l had to do what l did.
313
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:09,801
Our budget is stretched
tighter than Mother's
sauna pants.
314
00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:12,638
Seymour!
Quit using me
in analogies.
315
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:13,722
Yes, Mother.
316
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:18,352
Principal Skinner, l will not
call off this strike until
you bring back music and art!
317
00:16:18,436 --> 00:16:19,728
What about gym?
Meh.
318
00:16:20,021 --> 00:16:24,232
(CHANTlNG) Hey, hey,
Seymour S. Nurture
our well-roundedness!
319
00:16:24,359 --> 00:16:26,318
Sneeze, puke, burp, fart,
320
00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:28,362
we want music, gym, and art!
321
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:31,907
Why didn't l cancel
Sign Making and
Creative Chanting?
322
00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:35,619
Principal Skinner,
can't you just
reinstate those programs?
323
00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:39,414
Would you be willing
to pay an extra $1 .23
in taxes to fund them?
324
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:42,292
No way!
l'm saving for
a speedboat.
325
00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:43,752
(CHANTlNG) Strike! Strike!
326
00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:45,545
Lisa, what are you doing?
327
00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:48,465
This is the kind
of trouble-making
l expect from your brother.
328
00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:51,551
You do? Cool.
A blank check
for mayhem.
329
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:59,226
Mom, l was elected
to make this a better school.
330
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:03,063
Well, couldn't you just
hang some colorful
crepe paper in the gym?
331
00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:05,232
They've taken away
our crepe paper.
332
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:07,025
Those Fudruckers!
333
00:17:07,485 --> 00:17:08,694
(SlRENS WAlL)
334
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:10,362
Oh, no.
They heard me.
335
00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:12,531
Remember, boys.
These are little kids.
336
00:17:12,657 --> 00:17:14,741
So take out
your tiny batons.
337
00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:16,451
(CHUCKLES)
338
00:17:17,829 --> 00:17:20,247
Chief Wiggum,
we're just like
you policemen.
339
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:23,375
Don't you ever
feel like the mayor
doesn't care about you?
340
00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:26,962
You mean, the mayor
who kept me waiting for
two hours in that restaurant?
341
00:17:27,130 --> 00:17:29,131
l ate so much bread. . .
(SOBS SOFTLY)
342
00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:32,008
Sit down, boys!
We're joining
this strike!
343
00:17:32,135 --> 00:17:35,762
Chief, are you sure the mayor
wasn't at a different
Olive Garden than you?
344
00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:40,183
Well, l can't take that
rattlesnake out of his
mailbox now, now can l?
345
00:17:40,351 --> 00:17:41,351
Yes, Chief,
you could.
346
00:17:41,436 --> 00:17:43,186
Well, let me ask
you this. Shut up.
347
00:17:43,354 --> 00:17:47,232
The Springfield student strike
has entered its fourth day
with no end in sight.
348
00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:51,069
Today professionaI
buttinski Michael Moore
arrived on the scene.
349
00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:53,447
Kids who don't get
to take music and art
350
00:17:53,531 --> 00:17:56,408
are 1 0% more IikeIy
to become chronicaIIy
unempIoyed
351
00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:57,617
and appear in one
of my movies.
352
00:17:57,744 --> 00:17:59,745
Where did you get
that statistic?
Your mother!
353
00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:02,122
The student strikers
have been joined
by other unions
354
00:18:02,206 --> 00:18:04,416
incIuding the
Springfield Goat Milkers,
355
00:18:04,667 --> 00:18:07,252
the Association of
News Room Cue
Card Holders...
356
00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:08,378
Ow.
357
00:18:08,463 --> 00:18:11,047
And the United Federation
of Theme Park Zombies.
358
00:18:11,132 --> 00:18:18,054
Zombie eat brains but zombie
cannot swaIIow this injustice.
359
00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:21,850
At the heart of the strike
is former student body
president, Lisa Simpson.
360
00:18:22,018 --> 00:18:24,019
Her brother
had this to say.
361
00:18:24,145 --> 00:18:26,730
Lisa is a nut.
She has a rubber butt.
362
00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:29,566
Every time she turns around,
it goes putt putt.
363
00:18:29,692 --> 00:18:33,779
lndeed. But that rubber butt
doesn't have much time for
turning around these days.
364
00:18:33,863 --> 00:18:36,531
It's pointed squareIy
in the face of the
administration.
365
00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:41,495
Skinner! We have
got to get these
kids back in school !
366
00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:43,663
Willie, can't you
turn your hose on them?
367
00:18:43,748 --> 00:18:47,501
They are wee children.
l'd sooner turn it on myself.
368
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,377
Well, that's a
good idea, too.
369
00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:52,547
Now see here,
you nose-wiping
hair-combers!
370
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:56,051
Back in Edinburgh,
we had a coal
miner's strike.
371
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:59,471
All we wanted were hats
with a wee light on top.
372
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:01,973
Then one day
the mine collapsed.
373
00:19:02,058 --> 00:19:06,603
No one made it out alive.
Not even Willie!
374
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:13,068
Skinner!
l don't mean to interrupt
your advice from the janitor,
375
00:19:13,236 --> 00:19:16,822
but l say cut off the head
and the body will die.
376
00:19:16,948 --> 00:19:19,658
You want to get rid of Lisa?
But she's such a good student.
377
00:19:19,742 --> 00:19:24,412
Yes. ln fact, l think
she's a little too
good for this school.
378
00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:27,290
If we stand together,
we are strong!
379
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,042
(ALL CHEERlNG)
380
00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:31,169
Lisa Simpson, you have
just been transferred
381
00:19:31,254 --> 00:19:34,089
to the Springfield
Magnet School for the
Gifted and Troublesome.
382
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,299
Please climb
into the idIing bus.
383
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:38,844
But, but l. . .
384
00:19:41,973 --> 00:19:44,724
(SlNGlNG) Poor Lisa
Poor Lisa
385
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:51,231
Don't cry for me
kids of Springfield
386
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:56,194
You can still reach me
through e-maiI
387
00:19:56,279 --> 00:20:00,949
at Smart Girl 63
underscore back slash
388
00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:06,913
at Yahoo dot com,
at Yahoo dot com
389
00:20:13,963 --> 00:20:16,756
(SPEAKlNG FRENCH)
390
00:20:17,258 --> 00:20:19,801
Oh, this place
is paradise!
391
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:23,597
Well, l guess this story
has a happy ending after all.
392
00:20:23,848 --> 00:20:26,641
Just like my last massage.
393
00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:31,688
l'm not driving
45 minutes a day!
394
00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:33,064
You can't go
to that school !
395
00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:34,983
But this is my dream.
396
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:37,068
Oh, why can't you
have a normal dream
397
00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:39,070
like being an Olympic
figure skater?
398
00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:41,239
Okay. Let me
take figure skating.
399
00:20:41,324 --> 00:20:44,576
Are you crazy?
l'm not getting up
at 6:30 every morning
400
00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:47,662
so you can prance around
a frozen pond and think
you're better than me.
401
00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:49,164
LlSA: Well,
what can l be?
402
00:20:49,290 --> 00:20:50,665
HOMER: l don't know.
How about
a horse whisperer?
403
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:51,750
LlSA: Okay!
404
00:20:51,834 --> 00:20:53,501
HOMER: Over my dead body!
405
00:21:57,733 --> 00:21:58,733
English - US - PSDH
31510
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof