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1
00:00:02,878 --> 00:00:06,172
(SlNGlNG) The Simpsons
2
00:00:06,256 --> 00:00:07,256
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
3
00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:10,426
D'oh !
4
00:00:10,761 --> 00:00:12,595
(SCREAMlNG)
(BRAKES SCREECHlNG)
5
00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:30,947
lt's too nice a day
to be outside doing chores.
6
00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:32,949
Come in and watch TV.
7
00:00:34,118 --> 00:00:35,702
Mom finally stopped caring !
8
00:00:35,786 --> 00:00:37,286
Don't go inside!
lt's a trap!
9
00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:40,331
Yes, she must
have some kind of
super-chore in there.
10
00:00:40,416 --> 00:00:42,291
Like getting the rat
out of Maggie's room.
11
00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:46,796
l'm not fooling
around, people.
12
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,881
Park your keisters
in front of that TV!
13
00:00:48,966 --> 00:00:50,007
Now!
14
00:00:50,134 --> 00:00:51,175
(LlSA SCREAMlNG)
15
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,971
(EXCLAlMlNG)
16
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,309
This counts as a bath !
17
00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:05,398
(CHUCKLlNG)
18
00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:07,859
The irrepressibIe
1 00-year-oId skydiver
19
00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:10,236
will be buried as soon
as his body is found.
20
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:14,574
Now, it's time for
the Channel 6 Oops Patrol!
21
00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:16,701
This week,
one eagIe-eyed viewer
22
00:01:16,785 --> 00:01:18,786
spotted this
hilarious headline.
23
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:22,665
Mayor unveiIs
erection to cheering crowd.
24
00:01:23,167 --> 00:01:25,793
This week's
Oops Patrol T-shirt
goes to...
25
00:01:25,878 --> 00:01:27,253
Whom? Whom?
26
00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:29,380
Mrs. Marge Simpson
of Springfield!
27
00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:31,466
Ta-dah !
28
00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:34,343
Mom made the Oops Patrol !
Hot damn !
29
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:36,220
Bart, you're not at school,
don't swear.
30
00:01:37,473 --> 00:01:40,641
What an amusing
T-shirt, Marge.
31
00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:42,935
l'll trade you
for a tote bag
that says "Prozac."
32
00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:46,272
No, thanks.
l'm wearing my cure
for depression.
33
00:01:46,356 --> 00:01:48,149
Come on !
Give me that shirt!
34
00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:50,777
l'll put you at the top of
the heart transplant list.
35
00:01:50,861 --> 00:01:53,112
My heart is fine.
36
00:01:53,197 --> 00:01:54,822
lt could always
be a little better.
37
00:01:55,491 --> 00:01:57,617
Honey, this is your
moment in the sun.
38
00:01:57,701 --> 00:02:00,703
And l couldn't
be more pleased
for your happiness.
39
00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:02,455
(WHlMPERS)
40
00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:04,540
Why was l born?
41
00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:07,210
(STRUGGLlNG)
42
00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:12,131
Oh, T-shirt,
bless the loom that
fruited you.
43
00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:14,008
(GASPS) Homer!
44
00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:19,889
Win your own T-shirt!
45
00:02:22,059 --> 00:02:23,059
(GROANS)
46
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:25,311
HOMER: Gotta win a T-shirt.
Gotta win a T-shirt.
47
00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:30,107
Okay, get ready to laugh.
48
00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:33,152
"Cranford man missing."
49
00:02:33,237 --> 00:02:37,698
What's he missing?
His pants? A train?
Gimme a break!
50
00:02:39,243 --> 00:02:41,285
Too soon, huh? All right.
51
00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:46,040
"Drought threatens to turn
west into dessert"!
52
00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:50,586
Yum, yum. l think l'd like
some whipped cream
on my Wyoming.
53
00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:54,257
Dad, the word's "desert."
And those farmers
are suffering.
54
00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:57,301
From what?
Too much hot fudge?
55
00:02:57,886 --> 00:02:59,595
(LAUGHS)
56
00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:02,223
Come on, Bart.
Show me some love.
57
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:04,183
Don't drag me down
with you, old man.
58
00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:18,698
(ELECTRlCAL SOUNDS)
59
00:03:18,991 --> 00:03:22,368
This is what
happens when l go for
six hours without sleep.
60
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:25,621
(READlNG)
61
00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:27,665
(LAUGHS)
62
00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:30,126
No.
63
00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:32,879
(READlNG)
64
00:03:33,297 --> 00:03:34,922
l'll put that in the "maybes."
65
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,092
l gotta get that T-shirt.
66
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:41,053
"World's biggest pizza"?
67
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,976
Oh, my God !
68
00:03:48,020 --> 00:03:50,730
Marge, wake up!
The newspaper's
talking to me!
69
00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:55,192
Oh, relax.
l'm sure it's just
your brain going crazy.
70
00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:57,653
l wish ! Look at
this headline!
71
00:03:58,030 --> 00:04:00,740
Someone or
something knows l love
72
00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:03,492
oversized food and
short punchy articles.
73
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:07,830
So they hid a message
in the first letter
of each line. See?
74
00:04:08,123 --> 00:04:11,542
"Homer, meet me 4th street
overpass midnite."
75
00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:15,838
Wait a minute.
This is today's paper!
That meeting is tonight!
76
00:04:16,048 --> 00:04:18,758
Don't tell me
you're actually going.
77
00:04:18,842 --> 00:04:20,009
Marge, l don't know
what this is.
78
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,428
But sometimes
you've just gotta
go with your gut.
79
00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:24,597
You always go
with your gut.
80
00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:26,682
This time, why don't you
listen to your brain?
81
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,351
All right, l will.
82
00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:31,479
(UKULELE MUSlC PLAYlNG)
83
00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:34,190
That's why l don't
listen to my brain.
84
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,192
And away we go!
85
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:38,444
(GROANS)
86
00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:41,781
Psst. Hey, pal.
Hey, buddy. Wake up.
87
00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:44,909
You want to go on an
adventure with your old man?
88
00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:47,203
No.
89
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:48,454
You have no choice.
90
00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:51,374
There's coffee
in the thermos.
91
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,382
This is boring.
Can't we go home?
92
00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:01,008
This overpass
smells like urine.
93
00:05:01,093 --> 00:05:02,259
They all do.
94
00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:03,427
Fresh urine!
95
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:04,845
Hey! The bathroom's
a block away!
96
00:05:04,930 --> 00:05:06,055
(ZlPS PANTS)
97
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,139
MONA: Homer Simpson?
98
00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:09,141
(BOTH SCREAM)
99
00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:11,727
(HOMER SCREAMlNG)
100
00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:15,481
MONA:
Still my little crybaby.
101
00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:18,401
l'll save you, Dad ! Karate!
102
00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:25,992
Grandma!
103
00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:27,076
Oh, Bart.
104
00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:28,494
Are you still
a little hell-raiser?
105
00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:29,662
Yes'm.
106
00:05:29,913 --> 00:05:31,372
Mom, you're back!
107
00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:34,834
Just like you
were back before.
Then you left me again.
108
00:05:34,918 --> 00:05:39,088
l love you so much !
But it's so hard
for me to trust you.
109
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:42,508
What the heck.
Give me a hug, you.
110
00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:44,427
Homer, you're hugging a bum.
111
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:46,345
l know. l'm working
my way up to you.
112
00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:49,265
Hey, gimme back my wine!
113
00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:51,308
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
114
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:57,314
Sorry about all
the cloak and dagger, Homer,
115
00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:58,983
but the government
is still after me
116
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:00,484
for what l did in the '60s.
117
00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:04,363
They're probably
tapping your phones
and reading your mail.
118
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:08,784
l think the government has
better things to do
than to read my mail.
119
00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:12,329
Most people write
letters to movie stars.
120
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:14,165
This Simpson guy
writes to movies!
121
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:17,126
"Dear Die Hard, you rock!
122
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:19,795
"Especially when that
guy was on the roof.
123
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,965
"P.S. Do you know Mad Max?"
124
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:26,802
To reach you,
l called up my friends
in the liberal media
125
00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:29,680
and planted that story
about the giant pizza.
126
00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:31,682
You sure know me, Mom.
127
00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:34,769
Pizza was the first food
he choked on.
128
00:06:34,853 --> 00:06:35,853
Aw...
129
00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:37,730
So why are you back in town?
130
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:40,483
l saw this
macaroni pencil holder
Homer made me,
131
00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:43,778
and l realized how
much l missed him.
132
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:46,322
l made this when l was five.
133
00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:49,658
l had to do something.
Your pencils were
all over the place.
134
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,285
Hey, it was the '60s.
135
00:06:53,205 --> 00:06:54,205
(ALL GASP)
136
00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:57,333
ls that fugitive radical
Mona Simpson?
137
00:06:57,417 --> 00:07:00,127
Yeah. And that's Tokyo Rose
mopping the floor.
138
00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:04,673
Hey, Joe!
Your girlfriend
sleeps with Tyrone Power!
139
00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:07,593
Chief, l think
we've got a match here.
140
00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:08,719
All right.
Let's check it out.
141
00:07:08,804 --> 00:07:11,430
But if you're wrong,
you and Lou have
to kiss each other.
142
00:07:11,515 --> 00:07:14,475
Hey, Chief,
l checked with the union.
You can only do that once.
143
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:15,601
Oh.
144
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:19,939
Cora, is there
a back way outta here?
145
00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:22,399
Not for someone who tips 9%.
146
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:24,193
Fine!
147
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:25,569
Right through there,
Santa Claus.
148
00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:34,120
Mom, l swear on
your eventual grave,
149
00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:37,540
l will never
ever let the police
get their hands on you !
150
00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:39,333
Uh-oh.
151
00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:44,505
You guys are damn lucky.
152
00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:47,633
All you destroyed
were bricks, mortar
and attorneys.
153
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:51,387
Remember me
as a drain on society.
154
00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:05,568
Captured '60s radical,
Mona J. Simpson,
goes on triaI today
155
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,987
on decades-oId charges
of sabotaging
156
00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:10,322
the C. Montgomery Burns
Germ Warfare Lab.
157
00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:13,576
For those of you
too young to remember
the '60s,
158
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:15,244
here's our stock montage.
159
00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:17,705
(ALL ALONG
THE WATCHTOWER PLAYlNG)
160
00:08:32,596 --> 00:08:35,264
You bet your sweet bippy.
161
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,433
What a shrill,
pointIess decade.
162
00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:40,769
During her years on the Iam,
Simpson led an exemplary life
163
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:45,149
working as a crossing guard,
oral historian,
reader for the blind,
164
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:48,110
listener for the deaf
and reacher for the short.
165
00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:51,906
Yet local villain,
Montgomery Burns, seen
here terrorizing chiIdren
166
00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,199
in a 1 9th century woodcut,
167
00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:55,618
insists that she stand trial.
168
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:58,913
Kent, I want everyone
in your radio
picture audience to know
169
00:08:58,997 --> 00:09:01,040
that this woman is a menace
to decent peopIe
170
00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:03,125
and germ warriors everywhere!
171
00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:06,962
End communication.
172
00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:08,088
(GAVEL SLAMMlNG)
173
00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:09,882
Now, Lisa,
would you agree that your
174
00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:12,009
grandmother is a sweet,
harmless woman
175
00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:15,471
who could
hardly be considered
a menace to society?
176
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:19,850
Definitely. lf you ask me,
she's far less dangerous
than Bart.
177
00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:22,561
lf it please the court,
l would like to go
ape on my sister.
178
00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:24,480
l object.
Judge, sidebar?
179
00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:25,773
Very well.
180
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:27,399
Judge, do you
have a little sister?
181
00:09:27,484 --> 00:09:28,567
Yes.
182
00:09:28,652 --> 00:09:31,904
She used to call me
"Fatty Boomalatty."
183
00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:33,322
l'll allow an lndian burn.
184
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:34,698
Thank you, Your Honor.
185
00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:36,951
LlSA: Ow!
186
00:09:37,035 --> 00:09:39,745
Your Honor,
can you please focus
on the case at hand?
187
00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:41,997
l'm sorry.
My wife left me this morning.
188
00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:44,875
Now, l'm not a man
who's good with words.
189
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:57,763
You gotta say something.
She's looking at 20 years!
190
00:09:57,847 --> 00:10:00,766
And my legal license
expires in 1 5 minutes.
191
00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:02,977
l barely know my mother.
192
00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:06,063
And every time l see her,
she's taken away again.
193
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:10,859
And when a man
doesn't have his mother,
he winds up like me.
194
00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:12,069
ALL: Aw. . .
195
00:10:12,195 --> 00:10:15,739
l mean,
l'm due back in this same
courtroom three times today.
196
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:20,035
Hell, l torched a blood bank!
One cookie, my ass!
197
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:23,539
Please, please give me
back my mommy!
198
00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:25,708
(CRYlNG)
199
00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:31,213
Your Honor, there is no way
we can find this
defendant guilty!
200
00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:35,426
Although l will miss
the jury room cold cuts.
201
00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:38,429
And the Quality lnn
more than lived
up to its name. . .
202
00:10:38,513 --> 00:10:39,555
Case dismissed !
203
00:10:41,016 --> 00:10:43,475
. . .business center,
workout room,
204
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,936
an honor bar l was
honored to use. . .
205
00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:47,021
That's enough.
206
00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:49,481
And Peggy in the coffee shop,
what a pistol.
207
00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:51,317
A mere nod
in her direction,
208
00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:53,402
and the refill
was in the mug !
209
00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:59,658
The jets in the whirlpool
anticipated my every move
210
00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:03,829
when it was working.
And $3 for a local call?
211
00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:05,873
They should be
the ones on trial !
212
00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:15,591
Oh, Mom, l'm so happy!
l never want to let you go!
213
00:11:16,259 --> 00:11:19,178
Mom, l never
want to let you go!
214
00:11:19,262 --> 00:11:20,804
l'm not your mother.
215
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:24,058
Look, lady.
Just keep hugging
till we get to Mexico.
216
00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:26,185
Mother.
217
00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:27,936
Go hug your floozy.
218
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:29,855
Mother, she's right here.
219
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:33,108
She knows l'm kidding.
l'm not kidding.
220
00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,528
Curse that groovy granny!
221
00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:38,989
This is America!
Justice should favor
the rich !
222
00:11:39,282 --> 00:11:42,117
Sir, maybe you
could use a few huffs
from your ether bottle.
223
00:11:42,786 --> 00:11:44,370
(lNHALES DEEPLY)
224
00:11:44,913 --> 00:11:46,997
Oh, man, that's good E.
225
00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:52,044
Well, now that l'm free,
l intend to be
a better mother to my son.
226
00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:55,214
Woo-hoo!
l can be a little boy again !
227
00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:57,716
A boy who gets
some on the side.
228
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:02,221
Baby! Now you're free
to come back to me.
229
00:12:02,305 --> 00:12:04,473
Dad, you testified
against her.
230
00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:07,601
l read a book that
said women like jerks.
231
00:12:07,685 --> 00:12:11,688
But the mother
and child reunion
232
00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:15,067
Is onIy a motion away
233
00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:20,197
Oh, little darling of mine
234
00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:23,992
l can't for the life of me
235
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:27,996
Remember a sadder day
236
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:31,166
Look, Mom !
Look! l'm riding by myself!
237
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:33,752
(CAR HORN)
238
00:12:33,962 --> 00:12:35,045
(SCREAMlNG)
239
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:40,175
(GRUNTlNG AND GROANlNG)
240
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:47,015
Homer, this really
isn't necessary.
241
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,059
You weren't around
for the birth
of your grandson.
242
00:12:49,185 --> 00:12:50,352
And l want you to see it.
243
00:12:51,688 --> 00:12:52,646
(MlMlCKlNG BABY CRYlNG)
244
00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:54,773
Ain't l cute?
You owe me a dirt bike.
245
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:58,569
Hey, guys. l brought my mom.
246
00:12:58,736 --> 00:13:02,156
Lenny Leonard?
l haven't seen you
since you were this high.
247
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:03,782
l can jump off the high dive!
248
00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:05,409
Carl Carlson.
249
00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:09,121
l remember when you,
Lenny and Stevie McGregor
250
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:11,206
were like
"The Three Musketeers."
251
00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:14,543
Yeah. Poor Stevie.
They never found his head.
252
00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:16,628
Mrs. Simpson,
when you took off,
253
00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:18,547
you left a hole
in Homer's heart
254
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:21,842
that he's been trying to fill
with alcohol for 20 years.
255
00:13:22,343 --> 00:13:23,427
God bless ya.
256
00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:27,264
Welcome to your room, Mom.
257
00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:29,558
l want you to
stay here forever.
258
00:13:29,893 --> 00:13:31,685
Homer, it's perfect.
259
00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:34,646
Doesn't this armoire
belong to Mr. Flanders?
260
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:41,028
You stole this entire room
from Ned Flanders' house!
261
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:43,530
Oh, well,
you snooze, you lose.
262
00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:46,074
But could l have
my photo albums back?
263
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:48,785
Now get out of my house!
264
00:13:49,287 --> 00:13:53,040
And so in
the spirit of fence-mending
and grudge-not-bearing,
265
00:13:53,124 --> 00:13:56,710
l hereby rename
the Burns Germ Warfare Lab,
266
00:13:56,794 --> 00:13:59,546
the Grandma Simpson
Peace Museum
267
00:13:59,631 --> 00:14:02,341
and Kid-teractive
Learnatorium.
268
00:14:06,137 --> 00:14:08,180
Grandma Simpson,
will you be the first
269
00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:10,265
to sign
the museum's guest book?
270
00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:11,975
lt'd be a real pleasure.
271
00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:14,895
You know,
when l was on the run,
272
00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:16,980
l always had to
sign a fake name,
273
00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:19,525
like when l
visited a state park.
274
00:14:19,609 --> 00:14:22,486
lndeed, how about
a national park?
275
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,696
Why yes.
276
00:14:24,781 --> 00:14:26,740
l've got it all
on this dictabelt.
277
00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:27,908
Move in, boys!
278
00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:33,080
What's going on?
279
00:14:33,164 --> 00:14:36,708
Supplying false information
on a national park register
280
00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:38,752
is a federal offense,
281
00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:42,297
which you've committed
at every national park
from Acadia to Zion.
282
00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:45,342
You're going away
for a long time,
Mrs. Simpson.
283
00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:48,845
Or should l call
you "Anita Bonghitt"?
284
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:53,809
No! l can't lose
my mother again !
285
00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:57,062
Don't take her away!
286
00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:04,486
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
287
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:06,738
Stop messing with him.
The man lost his mother.
288
00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:09,074
Just one more time.
289
00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:10,659
Okay, it is pretty funny.
290
00:15:11,202 --> 00:15:18,333
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
291
00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:25,882
Mother, you had me
292
00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:30,512
But I never had you
293
00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:39,313
I wanted you
294
00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:45,444
But you didn't want me
295
00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:49,197
Dad, l'm just
as sad as you are.
296
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:51,325
What happened to Grandma
is an outrage.
297
00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:53,285
How do you figure?
She was acquitted !
298
00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:56,455
Then they
put her back in jail
on a technicality!
299
00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:58,415
You're right.
People should only
300
00:15:58,499 --> 00:16:00,292
be let out of jail
on technicalities.
301
00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:03,629
Well,
they're transferring Grandma
to a federal prison tomorrow.
302
00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:07,090
l say we hit 'em
where they live
with a candlelight vigil.
303
00:16:07,342 --> 00:16:10,469
Candlepin bowling?
That's a great idea.
304
00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:13,680
We'll play right after
l break your grandmother
out of prison.
305
00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:20,270
(SlNGlNG) I fought the Iaw
and the law won
306
00:16:20,355 --> 00:16:21,688
Now just the innocent!
307
00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:25,484
I fought the Iaw
and the law won
308
00:16:25,568 --> 00:16:27,527
Now just the really innocent!
309
00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:31,281
(LAUGHlNG)
310
00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:37,329
l hope this bus ride
never ends,
311
00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:40,290
'cause l'm getting
executed when l get off.
312
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:42,209
Okay, boy.
313
00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:43,877
Flip through
those highway warnings
314
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,587
till we find one
that'll stop that bus.
315
00:16:47,382 --> 00:16:48,465
Next.
316
00:16:48,883 --> 00:16:49,883
Pass.
317
00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:51,802
Boring.
318
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:53,345
Aw...
319
00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:55,263
Ha-ha, loser!
320
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:57,516
Geez, pal.
321
00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:01,520
Will you look at that?
322
00:17:09,737 --> 00:17:11,655
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
(GUARDS COUGHlNG)
323
00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:13,573
Homer, what on earth
are you doing?
324
00:17:13,783 --> 00:17:15,867
Mom, l love you.
l can't let you go to prison.
325
00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:17,536
Who's the wheelman, granny?
326
00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:19,121
lt's my son, Homer.
327
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:20,288
ALL: Aw. . .
328
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:21,373
Oh, isn't he darling?
329
00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:23,667
He's a big one.
330
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:25,919
Oh, stop it.
331
00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:29,881
Take care, ladies.
l'm sure you can
332
00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:31,633
make it back to
the prison on your own.
333
00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:33,468
We will.
334
00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:35,595
You're all right,
Donut Breath.
335
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:37,431
You're like
the son l never killed.
336
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:42,728
Mom, l'm gonna hide
you where there's no one
around for miles.
337
00:17:43,146 --> 00:17:45,313
Disney's California
Adventure.
338
00:17:45,773 --> 00:17:46,773
(SlRENS BLARlNG)
339
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:49,234
BOTH: D'oh !
340
00:17:50,111 --> 00:17:52,779
Homer, get out now
and no one will ever
know you're involved.
341
00:17:52,947 --> 00:17:55,490
No! You're my mother,
and l won't leave you !
342
00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:57,284
lf you stay here,
you'll be abandoning
343
00:17:57,368 --> 00:17:58,952
your family
the way l abandoned you.
344
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:01,288
Yeah.
345
00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:05,459
That did mess me up
pretty bad. But l'm
not gonna leave you !
346
00:18:05,668 --> 00:18:09,087
l see
you've made your choice.
l love you, Homer.
347
00:18:09,172 --> 00:18:10,338
(ELECTRlCAL ZAPPlNG)
348
00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:13,675
That's lucky.
349
00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:15,427
(SCREAMS)
350
00:18:15,511 --> 00:18:19,097
Brambles! Briars!
Nettles! Thorns!
351
00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:25,187
Granny to the Man.
Granny to the Man.
352
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:26,897
This is "the Man."
353
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:31,443
"l think it'd be a gas if you
turned that magic bus around
354
00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:34,946
"and kept on
truckin' to our pig pad."
355
00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:37,866
l don't know
what you're saying.
But l am not turning back.
356
00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:39,910
Then listen to me, lady.
The only way
357
00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:41,745
you're getting off
this mountain is in a box
358
00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:43,121
or a funicular.
359
00:18:43,247 --> 00:18:44,623
What about
a hot air balloon?
360
00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:46,041
Pipe down, Jules Verne.
361
00:18:47,418 --> 00:18:49,336
Go, Mom ! You can do it!
362
00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:52,631
No!
363
00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:00,263
There's still air
in that bus.
364
00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:02,557
So for the next five minutes,
this is a rescue mission.
365
00:19:03,184 --> 00:19:04,184
(EXPLOSlON)
366
00:19:04,727 --> 00:19:06,061
Make that a salvage mission.
367
00:19:06,187 --> 00:19:07,312
(RUMBLlNG)
368
00:19:09,023 --> 00:19:11,733
Okay, everyone take
some free time,
369
00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:13,235
and we'll see you
tomorrow at 1 0:00.
370
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:25,413
Grandma, you'll always be
an inspiration to me.
371
00:19:25,623 --> 00:19:29,376
You taught me a criminal
can evade the law
well into old age.
372
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:33,547
Thanks for
the meatloaf recipe,
l claim it as my own.
373
00:19:33,631 --> 00:19:37,300
Mona, l'll always remember
raspberry trolley cars.
374
00:19:37,385 --> 00:19:38,927
Because my mind is shot.
375
00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:43,098
Your last act as a mom
was to make me a better dad.
376
00:19:43,975 --> 00:19:46,685
But at least now,
l'll never lose you again.
377
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,273
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
Look out!
378
00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:52,607
(EXCLAlMS lN FRUSTRATlON)
379
00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:05,287
Homer,
it's 2:00 in the morning.
380
00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:06,872
l couldn't sleep
because l thought
381
00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:09,416
there might be
a sign of my mom
in one of these articles.
382
00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:10,876
They never did find her body.
383
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:12,294
Then what was in the coffin?
384
00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:14,588
Last week's garbage.
l missed the pickup date.
385
00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:17,799
But it doesn't matter,
because my mom is alive! See?
386
00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:21,720
l am o. . . Kay.
387
00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:25,181
Get it? "l am okay."
388
00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:28,101
Okay, Homie.
389
00:20:28,311 --> 00:20:31,813
lf it makes you feel better,
l think your mom's
all right, too.
390
00:20:32,023 --> 00:20:35,775
Hey, as long as
we're thinking about her,
Grandma's still alive.
391
00:20:35,860 --> 00:20:38,320
Come on, big guy.
This'll help you
get to sleep.
392
00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:49,497
MONA: Homer, your mother
Ioves you.
393
00:20:49,624 --> 00:20:51,249
I escaped from
the bus the moment
394
00:20:51,334 --> 00:20:52,918
before it pIunged
off the cliff.
395
00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:55,670
l then hitched a ride
from a nice young coupIe.
396
00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:57,589
We had lunch at
a IoveIy diner.
397
00:20:57,673 --> 00:21:00,383
They had cIam chowder,
Rhode IsIand-styIe.
398
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,636
l never knew there
was such a thing.
399
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:04,763
And the crackers
kept on coming.
400
00:21:57,191 --> 00:21:58,191
English - US - PSDH
29273
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