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1
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:06,923
Good grief.
This candy's terrible!
2
00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:10,176
Circus peanuts,
raisins, nicotine gum,
3
00:00:10,260 --> 00:00:12,178
a library card?
4
00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:13,805
You got all
the good stuff.
5
00:00:13,889 --> 00:00:16,265
And yet l'm still
not satisfied.
6
00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:18,768
(GRUNTS lN FRUSTRATlON)
7
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,561
You thieving hussy!
8
00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:21,646
(CHOKlNG)
9
00:00:23,941 --> 00:00:24,941
Ow!
10
00:00:27,319 --> 00:00:29,070
(EXCLAlMS lN SHOCK)
11
00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:33,408
You kids have got to
learn that actions
have consequences!
12
00:00:34,076 --> 00:00:35,201
(GRUNTlNG)
13
00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:36,786
Eat fire, punks!
14
00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:38,955
KlDS: Whoa!
What the. . .
15
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,874
l'm still cold.
16
00:00:41,959 --> 00:00:44,544
Will everyone please stop
fighting and burning?
17
00:00:44,628 --> 00:00:45,795
Never!
18
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:47,255
(SCREAMlNG)
19
00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:50,800
Beat the lumps.
BART: Hey!
20
00:00:50,843 --> 00:00:52,468
Beat the lumps.
Beat the lumps.
BART: Ay, caramba!
21
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:55,680
Homie, l disagree
with your approach
to the children.
22
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,098
(GRUNTlNG)
23
00:00:57,182 --> 00:00:58,266
(GUNSHOT)
24
00:00:58,350 --> 00:00:59,600
(HOMER SCREAMS)
(MARGE COCKS GUN)
25
00:00:59,685 --> 00:01:01,269
(GUNSHOT)
HOMER: D'oh !
26
00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:05,106
Pathetic humans.
27
00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:07,567
They're showing
a Halloween episode.
28
00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:09,026
ln November!
29
00:01:09,111 --> 00:01:11,320
Who's still thinking
about Halloween?
30
00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:13,906
We've already
got our Christmas
decorations up.
31
00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:17,201
BOTH: Ho, ho, ho!
Merry Christmas!
32
00:01:17,286 --> 00:01:18,286
(CHRlSTMAS MUSlC PLAYlNG)
33
00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:32,800
(SlNlSTER TUNE PLAYlNG)
34
00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:35,011
(BANGlNG ON DOOR)
35
00:01:36,388 --> 00:01:38,765
l am Death.
36
00:01:38,849 --> 00:01:40,767
Death?
We don't want any.
37
00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:45,521
l have come
for Bart Simpson.
38
00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:47,690
Bart, run like the
(MlSPRONOUNClNG) wind !
39
00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:49,275
Mom, it's "wind."
40
00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:51,194
Well, l've only
read it in books.
41
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,404
(UPBEAT TUNE PLAYlNG)
42
00:02:10,339 --> 00:02:12,423
Oh ! Why you little. . .
43
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,387
(OMlNOUS MUSlC PLAYlNG)
44
00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:22,433
Please don't take me.
Take Milhouse.
45
00:02:22,518 --> 00:02:24,393
We all know there's
no happy ending there.
46
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:26,020
Your time is up.
47
00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:28,564
This is for
Snowball l and JFK!
48
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:30,858
Ow!
49
00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:35,321
Cool.
50
00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:37,782
Dad, do you realize
what you've done?
51
00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:40,243
You've created
a world without
death.
52
00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:42,537
Does this mean
they'll never cancel
the Jim Belushi Show?
53
00:02:42,621 --> 00:02:43,621
l guess so.
54
00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:44,997
(SCREAMlNG) No!
55
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:47,625
LISA: A world without death.
56
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:49,293
(GUNSHOTS)
57
00:02:51,380 --> 00:02:52,713
(GROANlNG)
58
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:56,092
Frankie the Squealer,
why won't you die?
59
00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:58,803
Ugh ! lf l knew,
l'd tell you, l swear.
60
00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:02,974
l'd better call my wife,
tell her l'll be late.
61
00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:07,436
(SlGHlNG)
62
00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:09,981
lf l knew this would
take so long,
l would've put on a TV.
63
00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:11,023
Pizza!
64
00:03:11,108 --> 00:03:12,817
Your money's on
the counter. No tip.
65
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:14,569
Oh, you miserable
bastard !
66
00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:16,571
That's why
l'm up here.
67
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:22,034
Death, Death,
we miss you so much.
68
00:03:22,578 --> 00:03:25,454
You were a busboy in
the restaurant of life
69
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:29,417
clearing away the oldies,
and the sickies,
and the chokies.
70
00:03:29,585 --> 00:03:32,795
And you made
NASCAR racing exciting.
71
00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:36,215
Homer, it's trash day.
Will you just take
him out to the curb?
72
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:38,050
l'll curb him. . .
73
00:03:38,135 --> 00:03:39,802
Without enthusiasm.
74
00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:45,516
Ooh !
75
00:03:45,601 --> 00:03:47,310
This robe's pretty soft.
76
00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:51,606
Check it out! l finally
found a dead guy's
clothes that fit me!
77
00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:54,108
(ALL SCREAM)
78
00:03:54,276 --> 00:03:58,070
What? lt's not. . . (YELLS)
My hand ! What's happening?
79
00:04:00,699 --> 00:04:03,701
Dad, you've become
the new Grim Reaper.
80
00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:05,161
No way! Forget it!
81
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:08,247
l might occasionally kill
out of anger or to
illustrate a point.
82
00:04:08,332 --> 00:04:10,291
But l am not
a Grim Reaper!
83
00:04:11,043 --> 00:04:12,585
Ow! Ow!
84
00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:14,503
l'll reap!
l'll reap already!
85
00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:18,466
(lN SPOOKY TONE)
Jasper, your time
has come!
86
00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:20,718
Where's the regular guy?
Where's Doug?
87
00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:22,386
Never mind.
l'm Death now.
88
00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:23,679
(EXCLAlMS lN DlSAPPOlNTMENT)
89
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:25,264
l liked Doug.
90
00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:27,141
(GAGS)
91
00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:30,436
"My Dad's Job."
92
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:33,731
"My dad's job takes him
to all parts of the community.
93
00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:37,193
"He performs a valuable
service but is often
misunderstood
94
00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:39,695
"like a vulture or the
flesh-eating maggot."
95
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:42,657
Would anyone like to see
Mr. Simpson harvest a soul?
96
00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:44,408
Yeah !
l would !
97
00:04:45,077 --> 00:04:47,620
You said something
about a hot meal?
98
00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:49,330
(CLEARlNG THROAT)
99
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,290
(THUDDlNG)
100
00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:52,375
CHlLDREN: Yeah !
101
00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:56,545
Oh, man.
These seats suck.
102
00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:58,464
Leave everything to me.
103
00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:00,633
Pardon me, comin' through,
rest in peace, you're dead,
104
00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:02,134
take a dirt nap,
feed the worms.
105
00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:07,098
(HOMER EXCLAlMlNG PLAYFULLY)
106
00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:10,810
Oh !
107
00:05:10,894 --> 00:05:12,019
Hmm.
108
00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:15,856
Dad, were all those
people on the list?
109
00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:17,191
l don't know.
110
00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:22,405
Okay. Who am l giving
the finger to today?
111
00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:23,906
(GASPS)
112
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:28,244
Not this!
Anything but this!
113
00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:30,913
Uh. . .
114
00:05:31,415 --> 00:05:33,082
What was that
first one again?
115
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:38,879
Oh !
116
00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:42,591
(MARGE SCREAMlNG)
117
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,301
(SCYTHE SLASHlNG)
118
00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:46,345
(SOLEMN MUSlC PLAYlNG)
119
00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:51,851
Okay, God.
120
00:05:51,935 --> 00:05:55,146
l bumped off the love
of my life according
to your divine whim.
121
00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:58,107
Now release me from
this ghastly vocation.
122
00:05:58,358 --> 00:05:59,692
MALE VOlCE: No!
123
00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:00,860
Come on !
124
00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:02,319
All right.
125
00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:06,323
Woo-hoo!
126
00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:12,496
Hey, wait a minute.
127
00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:14,165
This isn't Marge.
128
00:06:14,249 --> 00:06:17,752
This is her fat
sister, Selma.
129
00:06:17,836 --> 00:06:19,920
lt's Patty, chump!
(LAUGHlNG)
130
00:06:32,476 --> 00:06:36,437
MALE VOlCE: Doggone it.
l am too old and
too rich for this.
131
00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:39,315
Thanks for not
killing me, Homie.
132
00:06:39,608 --> 00:06:41,400
Here's an extra
pork chop.
133
00:06:41,485 --> 00:06:42,985
(LAUGHlNG)
134
00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:45,112
l'm gonna not
kill you every week.
135
00:06:45,197 --> 00:06:46,697
(ALL LAUGHlNG)
136
00:06:49,534 --> 00:06:51,452
(SlNlSTER TUNE PLAYlNG)
137
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,162
(RlNGlNG)
138
00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:54,622
Y'ello?
139
00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:56,749
Sir, l'm honored
to inform you
140
00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:58,709
that you've won
the Nobel Prize.
141
00:06:58,794 --> 00:07:00,920
The Nobel Prize?
142
00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:02,922
Finally!
143
00:07:03,006 --> 00:07:05,007
So, it's for what?
My whole deal?
144
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:07,468
This is Professor
John Frink, isn't it?
145
00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:09,095
lf l say no,
do l still win?
146
00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:11,305
l'll tell
Professor Frink
he's won.
147
00:07:11,515 --> 00:07:13,182
(SPEAKlNG SWEDlSH)
148
00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:15,226
(lN EXAGGERATED
SWEDlSH ACCENT)
149
00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:17,770
Great glayvin
in a glass!
150
00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:19,396
The Nobel Prize!
151
00:07:19,481 --> 00:07:21,065
They must've
awarded it to me
152
00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:24,902
for my invention of a hammer
with a screwdriver
on the other end.
153
00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:26,445
lt's mildly convenient.
154
00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:27,822
Just for that?
155
00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:29,865
lt was a slow year, yes.
156
00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:32,868
l only wish my dear father
were here to see me win.
157
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,745
ls there a problem
with your father?
158
00:07:34,830 --> 00:07:37,915
Well, our relationship
was never great.
159
00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:42,503
Mother used to say
we got along like
positrons and anti-neutrinos.
160
00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:44,964
(LAUGHlNG)
Yes. l'm a geek.
161
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:48,634
l was always
a disappointment
to him.
162
00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:51,178
You see,
he was one of those
he-man scientists
163
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,389
who worked on
the atom bomb by day,
164
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,975
and slept with
Marilyn Monroe
by night,
165
00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:58,227
and sold secrets to
the Russians at lunch.
166
00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:02,481
The last time l saw him alive,
he was going to study sharks.
167
00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:06,068
l don't want to go on
this oceanographic
expedition, Father.
168
00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:08,028
l get seasick
taking a shower.
169
00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:09,864
Clean but nauseous.
170
00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:15,202
"Clean but nauseous." With
the rolling and the heaving
and the you make me sick!
171
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:19,039
You've disgraced the name
of John Nerdlebaum Frink.
172
00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:20,916
But, Father, l. . .
173
00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:22,751
(SOBBlNG)
174
00:08:25,881 --> 00:08:27,173
We never spoke again.
175
00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:28,674
Well, where is he now?
176
00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:31,844
Maybe l can help
you two patch up
your differences.
177
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:34,847
Uh. . . You'll need to
patch up more than that.
178
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,852
Whoa! Did a shark do that?
179
00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:44,106
Yes.
He was testing out a new
blood-based suntan lotion.
180
00:08:44,608 --> 00:08:46,984
You know, now that l have
my hammer-screwdriver,
181
00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:48,402
l could reanimate him
182
00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:50,905
without the needless
switching of tools.
183
00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:53,616
That's always
tedious and annoying.
184
00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:55,868
(CRACKLlNG)
185
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:08,422
l'm alive! With the breathing
and the tingling and the. . .
186
00:09:08,506 --> 00:09:11,133
What's this radiator
where my pupik should be?
187
00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:12,968
Oh ! Papa,
you're back!
188
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:17,389
Now we had to replace
several vital organs
with machinery.
189
00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:19,725
But that doesn't make you
any less of a man.
190
00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:22,228
Except you have no penis.
191
00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:24,521
ln the traditional sense.
192
00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:28,317
So what am l?
Some kind of a tin can man
from Planet Tomorrow?
193
00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:32,071
Sir, your son has brought
you into the 21 st century.
194
00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:34,823
lt's a lot like the 20th
except everybody's afraid,
195
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:37,284
and the stock market
is much lower.
196
00:09:37,369 --> 00:09:39,370
Polly don't
like that cracker.
197
00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:43,832
l'm getting me a real
spleen and then l'm gonna
vent it on you, boychik.
198
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:45,000
Oi ! Shoving.
199
00:09:46,962 --> 00:09:51,340
lt almost sounded like
he plans to tear organs
out of living people.
200
00:09:51,675 --> 00:09:54,385
Well, that's my dad.
(LAUGHS)
You can't stop him.
201
00:09:54,678 --> 00:09:55,970
(HUMMlNG)
202
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:58,973
Hey, 700 Club.
203
00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:01,308
You look like
a healthy specimen.
204
00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:05,980
Well, l did finish first
in the Walk for the Cure
of homosexuality.
205
00:10:06,064 --> 00:10:07,940
Say "ah," baby.
206
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:09,525
Ah. . . (GAGGlNG)
207
00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:11,944
l'm dying !
208
00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:14,863
And there's heaven.
But who's that?
209
00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:16,824
Confucius?
210
00:10:16,992 --> 00:10:18,409
And Milton Berle?
211
00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:20,661
Boy, have l been
barking up the wrong tree.
212
00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:23,539
(HUMMlNG)
213
00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:26,792
Nice posture.
214
00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:31,422
Oh, thank you. Mother
always said a curvy spine
is the devil's roller coaster.
215
00:10:31,506 --> 00:10:32,965
Hey! You can't
have that!
216
00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:34,300
(SCREAMS)
217
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:38,220
Lost your spine, huh?
218
00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:41,515
You just keep
finding new ways
to disappoint me.
219
00:10:41,725 --> 00:10:44,226
(STAYlN' ALlVE
lNSTRUMENTAL PLAYlNG)
220
00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:56,196
There you are!
221
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:59,241
Have you stopped to think
about who you're hurting
with this rampage?
222
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:00,617
The people l've killed?
223
00:11:00,702 --> 00:11:02,453
No! Your son !
224
00:11:02,537 --> 00:11:05,414
On the biggest day of his life
when he accepts
the Nobel Prize,
225
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:06,790
you're not gonna be there!
226
00:11:06,875 --> 00:11:08,083
Oh, dear God !
227
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:11,587
l've let my organ lust
come between me and my son.
228
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:12,921
(WEEPlNG)
229
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:16,300
Well, it's not too late.
You can still fly
to Stockholm.
230
00:11:16,384 --> 00:11:18,385
Well, it better be
first class.
231
00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:21,347
Comic Book Guy's ass
won't fit in coach.
232
00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:23,265
You may keep
my posterior.
233
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:26,352
Just please return the
"Jabba the Butt" tattoo.
234
00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:30,731
(BLOWlNG WHlSTLE)
235
00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:35,527
ANNOUNCER:
He explored the behavior
236
00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:38,113
of individual molecules
in a chemical reaction.
237
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,449
She's the sexy
star ofAlias.
238
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:43,118
Please welcome Nobel laureate
Dr. Dudley Herschbach
239
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,954
and Emmy nominee
Jennifer Garner.
240
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,039
(AUDlENCE APPLAUDlNG)
241
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:49,583
She blinded me
with science
242
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:53,670
You know,
Dr. Herschbach, our jobs
are actually not that different.
243
00:11:53,755 --> 00:11:54,880
l disagree.
244
00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:56,965
Winner of the
Nobel Prize in physics
245
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,509
Professor John Frink.
246
00:11:58,635 --> 00:12:00,260
(AUDlENCE APPLAUDlNG)
247
00:12:00,678 --> 00:12:03,514
(CLEARS THROAT) Thank you.
This is a tremendous honor.
248
00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:06,892
However, l can't help being
somewhat disheartened
249
00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:10,312
that my father has become
a marauding ghoul.
250
00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:12,648
Not anymore, Son !
(LAUGHS)
251
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:13,732
(ALL GASP)
252
00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:18,070
l'm here to accept the
Nobel Prize for stupid.
253
00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:20,155
Can you forgive me?
254
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,824
Well, good glayvin, Dad.
255
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:25,619
You've made
receiving the Nobel Prize
the happiest day of my life.
256
00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:27,538
Oh, the hug is good.
257
00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:30,332
This is what
the Nobel Prize
is all about.
258
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:34,086
The science, and the love,
and that physics
we call quantum.
259
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:35,337
Ain't that right, people?
260
00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:36,964
(ALL CHEERlNG)
261
00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:41,844
What a great crowd.
You all have
such big hearts. . .
262
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:44,096
And such big brains
263
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:47,141
with large, juicy,
dripping-with-knowledge
heads!
264
00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:48,225
(ALL GASP)
265
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:52,146
That's it!
l'm going smorgasbord
on these Poindexters!
266
00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:54,273
(ALL EXCLAlMlNG FEARFULLY)
267
00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:58,444
And l thought Halle Berry
went nuts during her
acceptance speech.
268
00:12:58,528 --> 00:13:00,446
l wish l was
Death again.
269
00:13:00,530 --> 00:13:02,322
That was cool.
270
00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:06,785
Every brain
unlocks more secrets
of the universe.
271
00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:09,413
Muffins are
surprisingly high
in calories.
272
00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:12,332
The pyramids were
actually built by Sears.
273
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,710
He's right!
lt all checks out!
274
00:13:14,878 --> 00:13:16,545
(PEOPLE SCREAMlNG)
275
00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:19,923
(GROANlNG)
276
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:25,220
This is more violent
than the hip-hop awards.
277
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,139
You've gotta
stop your father!
278
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:28,432
Yes, but how?
279
00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:31,810
He's 63 years old,
pressure points
here and here,
280
00:13:31,895 --> 00:13:34,938
room temperature is
22 degrees Celsius.
281
00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:37,316
Yes, this should
just about do it.
282
00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:38,692
Ball sack'n !
283
00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:40,068
(GROANS)
284
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:42,988
Oh, Father.
You're dying again.
285
00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:45,741
But l can bring you
back to life, sir.
286
00:13:45,909 --> 00:13:50,412
Son, it doesn't take
five brains in your head
to know that's a bad idea.
287
00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:54,082
You saw l'd become a monster
and you stopped me like a man.
288
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,751
l'm proud of you.
289
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:58,086
And now it's time
for me to go to hell.
290
00:13:58,171 --> 00:13:59,171
Ow! Ooh !
291
00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:00,464
Ooh ! Ah ! Oy!
292
00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:01,715
Oy! Ooh ! Ow!
293
00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:02,925
Dead.
294
00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:04,510
(SOBBlNG)
295
00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:08,514
This is most
exciting Nobel Prize
ceremony ever.
296
00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:09,973
l disagree.
297
00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:15,354
lt must be tough to
win the Nobel Prize
298
00:14:15,438 --> 00:14:17,940
and lose your father
on the same day.
299
00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:20,484
Oh, l didn't really
lose my father.
300
00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:23,529
Thanks to my
latest invention,
the soul catcher.
301
00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:25,197
Let's bring it out
and look at it.
302
00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:27,574
I may be a souI,
but I'm hungry.
303
00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:29,618
Can you throw in
a little matzo?
304
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:31,286
Maybe a nice
piece of fish.
305
00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:35,666
Why, of course, Father.
Allow me to satisfy
your Hebraic desires.
306
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:37,209
That's a good
shmendele.
307
00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:39,795
Oh, l've waited
so long to hear
you say that.
308
00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:41,630
What does it mean?
ls it dirty?
309
00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:45,801
(TlCKlNG)
310
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,469
(SlNlSTER TUNE PLAYlNG)
311
00:14:48,096 --> 00:14:51,974
Oh ! Baby,
did l find something
to throw out today.
312
00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:55,352
lf you like space
in the attic, are
you gonna be happy.
313
00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:59,523
Cool. Comics
from the '70s.
314
00:14:59,691 --> 00:15:01,191
BART: "Superman
versus Patty Hearst."
315
00:15:01,276 --> 00:15:03,235
"EveI KnieveI Jumps
the Jackson Five."
316
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:04,778
"Batman and Rhoda."
317
00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:08,198
Check out these ads!
318
00:15:08,283 --> 00:15:09,616
Let's see. X-ray gum.
319
00:15:09,701 --> 00:15:13,078
(GASPS) Cool ! Milhouse,
do you have your change
purse?
320
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:14,246
MlLHOUSE: Always!
321
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:15,956
(DOORBELL RlNGS)
322
00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:18,500
Here you go, son.
323
00:15:20,545 --> 00:15:22,504
"To stop time,
click watch."
324
00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:30,971
Wow! She looks like
a background character
in a Hanna-Barbera cartoon !
325
00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:35,434
"To restart time,
click watch again."
326
00:15:37,353 --> 00:15:38,395
What the. . .
327
00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:40,689
Lisa, that's
a filthy habit.
328
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:42,441
(LAUGHlNG)
329
00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:43,859
lf we're both
touching the watch,
330
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:46,194
neither of us
will be affected.
331
00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:58,290
Do you realize
what this means?
332
00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:01,627
Yeah, but you
say it first.
333
00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,253
We can do
anything we want!
334
00:16:03,338 --> 00:16:05,756
Let's get really
far ahead on
our homework!
335
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:09,009
Wait till the other kids
see we're already
on the red unit
336
00:16:09,093 --> 00:16:10,886
of "Adventures
in Reading !"
337
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,095
(SlGHS lN EXASPERATlON)
338
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:16,600
Due to budget cuts,
music class will now have
a two-drink minimum.
339
00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:19,853
Cranapple juice only
counts as one and. . .
340
00:16:25,068 --> 00:16:26,068
(GASPS)
341
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:28,028
My slacks.
They've descended.
342
00:16:28,112 --> 00:16:29,613
(ALL LAUGHlNG)
343
00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:33,617
(CHUCKLES)
344
00:16:34,369 --> 00:16:35,452
Huh?
345
00:16:35,953 --> 00:16:37,245
What the. . . Hmm.
346
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:42,501
D'oh !
347
00:16:42,627 --> 00:16:44,169
D'oh ! D'oh !
348
00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:46,505
l can't go on.
349
00:16:47,799 --> 00:16:49,091
(SOBBlNG)
350
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:53,428
(WAlLlNG LOUDLY)
351
00:16:55,223 --> 00:16:56,181
Ha. . .
352
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:57,349
Huh?
353
00:16:57,642 --> 00:16:58,975
(LAUGHlNG)
354
00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:01,186
(CLOCK TlCKlNG)
355
00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:05,732
(CLlCK)
356
00:17:06,484 --> 00:17:08,860
People,
Springfield
is in crisis.
357
00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:12,364
Fingers have been
shoved up noses, pants
have been pulled down,
358
00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:17,119
and Mayors have been
repeatedly humiliated.
359
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:19,454
Damn it!
(ALL TALKlNG lNDlSTlNCTLY)
360
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:22,374
l thought our
mysterious pranksters
might be here tonight.
361
00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:25,544
So l covered the meeting hall
with ultraviolet powder.
362
00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:27,462
Behold the perpetrators!
363
00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:33,260
(ALL GASPlNG)
364
00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:35,095
lt was those guys!
365
00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:40,559
Come! Let us kill them
before learning of the magical
secret which they possess!
366
00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:41,727
MEN: Get them !
367
00:17:41,811 --> 00:17:43,186
(BART SCREAMlNG)
(ALL YELLlNG ANGRlLY)
368
00:17:58,453 --> 00:18:00,328
Oh ! That was close.
369
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:02,164
Bart, look at the watch !
370
00:18:02,999 --> 00:18:06,960
Milhouse,
we broke the watch ! Do you
realize what this means?
371
00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:10,088
Yeah, but you
say it first.
372
00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:12,132
(CLlCKlNG REPEATEDLY)
373
00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:14,718
Oh, man. Things are
stuck like this forever.
374
00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:17,179
Well, l couldn't
be happier.
375
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:19,473
l'm the second
coolest kid on earth !
376
00:18:19,557 --> 00:18:21,349
(GRUNTlNG EXClTEDLY)
377
00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:26,897
Actually, l guess
we can do anything
we want
378
00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:29,107
and no one
will stop us!
379
00:18:29,192 --> 00:18:31,902
l'm gonna play
naked basketball !
380
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,320
No, you're not.
381
00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:41,953
Family looks good.
382
00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:43,538
Thanks.
l just washed 'em.
383
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,793
That keeps happening !
384
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,880
Can l punch
Oscar de la Hoya
for a while?
385
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,548
Just keep it
above the belt.
386
00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:55,217
(GRUNTlNG)
387
00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:57,260
(SlGHS)
388
00:18:57,386 --> 00:19:00,430
You know, Milhouse?
l thought l'd love
eating only frosting
389
00:19:00,515 --> 00:19:02,390
and giving the
pope a wedgie.
390
00:19:02,517 --> 00:19:05,393
But l miss being
a regular kid
in the real world.
391
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:07,062
Getting a hug
from my mom.
392
00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:12,400
Yeah. l thought
l'd be happy with my
parents back together.
393
00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:14,027
But it's kinda hollow.
394
00:19:19,534 --> 00:19:23,370
All right. lt says here
we can learn watch repair
in eight one-hour lessons.
395
00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:27,541
Boy, that took forever.
396
00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:31,461
Yeah. Well, l work better
in a structured environment.
397
00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:36,383
Here goes nothing.
398
00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:39,427
Wait,
when people see all the stuff
we did, they're gonna kill us.
399
00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:40,762
Yeah !
400
00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:45,600
And l can't run too fast
after 1 5 years of eating
nothing but gummy worms!
401
00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:48,436
l'm gonna quit tomorrow.
l swear.
402
00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:52,816
What we need
is a scapegoat.
403
00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:01,783
Okay.
Acting natural, and. . .
404
00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:03,827
(ALL CONTlNUE YELLlNG)
405
00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:08,665
To repeat what l said
a moment ago,
you are so dead !
406
00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:17,173
Dios mio,
this kid is fun to hit!
407
00:20:18,801 --> 00:20:20,927
(BOTH WHlSTLlNG NONCHALANTLY)
408
00:20:21,012 --> 00:20:22,137
MARGE: Hmm.
409
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:25,015
Why is Bart so
tall and shaggy?
410
00:20:25,099 --> 00:20:26,808
Just one of
life's mysteries.
411
00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:29,644
Like why is my nose
jammed full of army men?
412
00:20:29,854 --> 00:20:32,063
Oh, come on !
Don't you get it?
413
00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:35,150
Bart stopped time with
his magic stopwatch !
414
00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:36,735
Jealous much?
415
00:20:36,819 --> 00:20:39,195
Why can't l tinker with
the fabric of existence?
416
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:40,822
Let the baby
have her bottle.
417
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:47,203
Hmm. What happens
if l press this button?
418
00:20:48,998 --> 00:20:49,998
(HOMER YELPS)
419
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:51,416
Sorry, sorry, sorry!
420
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,168
(CLlCKlNG)
421
00:20:59,675 --> 00:21:00,842
(EXCLAlMS lN FRUSTRATlON)
422
00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:04,220
Okay, that's good.
Stop there.
423
00:21:04,305 --> 00:21:06,765
...gIad rags on
and join me hon'
424
00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:09,142
We'll have some fun
when the clock strikes one
425
00:21:09,226 --> 00:21:11,394
We're gonna rock
around the cIock tonight
426
00:21:11,729 --> 00:21:13,813
(THEME PLAYlNG
lN SlNlSTER TUNE)
427
00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:53,269
(WOMAN SCREAMS)
428
00:21:53,354 --> 00:21:55,647
(THEME PLAYED
lN SlNlSTER TUNE)
429
00:21:58,567 --> 00:21:59,567
English - US - PSDH
30423
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