All language subtitles for The.Kardashians.S05E01.1080p.WEB.H264-SuccessfulCrab

This season, on
The Kardashians...

Hi, everybody!

At the end of the day, beyond
all the glitz and the glam,

we are just one,
big, regular family.

that hoe.

Listen, you little brat.

off.

♪ I bring drama-ma-ma-ma ♪

♪ With my girls in the back ♪

♪ Girls in the back, drama ♪

I've gotten the partner.
I've gotten the manufacturer.

- I've gotten the funding together.
- You're a doer, bitch.

Well, I'm saying watch, for
years, she's wanted to do this.

Yeah. For years, I wanted
to grow to be 5'8".

Oh.

You don't realize that you
sometimes have a stick up your ass?

Sisters can be
vicious and brutal.

You are going through a lot right
now and you're taking it out on me.

And I could, in a way, handle
it, but only for so long.

Like, live your life.

Get out!

Yeah, lazy-ass bitch.

Trust me. This is nothing.

I had my scan.

They found a cyst and,
like, a little tumor.

Why is it okay? It's 2024.

Like, to talk about
someone's looks so much?

Yeah.

Your personal life being in
the media can make anything

10 times more stressful
than what it already is.

Like, I've never cried about this
before, but I guess it does affect me.

It would affect anyone.

I will get involved when
I wanna get involved

because nobody will tell
me not to get involved

when it comes to one of my kids.

Why are you crying?

She's not gonna
change her mind.

You enable her.

Growing up in the public eye,

it's much more magnified and it's
much more emotional and scary

when you're doing it in
front of the whole world.

- Woo!
- Cheers.

Oh, Mom! I don't
have clothes on!

Woo! I did it!

It is so nice out here.

Cheers!

What if you have your
baby on Halloween?

- Who wouldn't want Halloween?
- You're a better girl than I.

We knew that.

She's ready to pop.

What if your water
broke, like, right now?

Well, let's not say that

'cause I need to,
like, have sex.

I need a martini.

Woo!

- Hi, Gypsy.
- Hi!

Welcome back to
Season Five, mother-.

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Ha ♪

- It's wild.
- I love being pregnant.

- I thought you did.
- I did.

- You did, right?
- Yeah, I did.

I feel like I still get,
like, phantom kicks.

I feel like it's empowering.

It is, and to give birth and then
to, like, feed from your breasts?

- Yeah.
- Like, just milk spurting out everywhere.

You know Melissa
Kolker has a trick?

- No, I can't do it anymore!
- Oh, really?!

I could get a good squirt
across the room and then...

Like, a long squirt,
more than I could squirt

when I had tons of milk.

It's really good for you.
So, like, I would take, like,

a shot of it if I
didn't feel well.

- Do you drink regular milk?
- I do.

You would.

I would see that.
I can see that.

I feel great.

I feel the oxytocin and
all the good pregnancy

hormones.

I have, like, "pinch me" moments
all day long where I'm like,

"Wait, we're, like,
really having a baby."

Hi, baby.

Goin' on stage. I love you.

I love you and I hope
you have the best show.

- Do you want me to say your prayer?
- Sure.

Dear Lord Jesus, I pray that you
keep a wall of fire around Travis.

May he have the best show and protect
him from the fire and the riser

and keep his head clear
and his fingers safe

and that he has the best
show. In Jesus's name. Amen.

Thank you, God. Amen.
I love you, babe.

- I'll call you after my show.
- I love you. Have the best show.

Mwah.

How many weeks are you?

- Thirty-one and a half.
- Amazing.

- Not really.
- She's like, "No."

Um,

- I...
- So, Travis left when?

Uh, two days ago.

We had planned a scan at home,

so that all the kids
could see the baby,

and Travis was leaving...
about to leave for tour.

The doctor who will come
to the house to do the scan

is a high-risk doctor who's

really detailed and thorough
at looking for everything.

And something caught his eye
where he wanted me to see,

um, a couple specialists

and I had to go in
for fetal surgery

where, like, they do
surgery on the baby,

which was terrifying.

You knew the night before
that you were gonna have it

- in the morning.
- That's, like, so stressful.

- So stressful. Yeah.
- And you were, like,

- by yourself?
- Yeah, I was like, "Who can take me?"

'Cause they were like,
"You can't eat or drink

and someone has to drive you."

And then my mom took me and then
that's when Travis flew home.

The thing that was awful was his
Wi-Fi was broken on the plane.

- Oh, my God.
- So, the whole time,

he couldn't get updated.

And you were already in the
hospital or you had the procedure?

He took off and then I think I had
it, like, a couple hours later,

and I was sending him updates
and my mom was sending

- him updates.
- And it was going green?

Yeah, and he couldn't
get, um, anything

and he kept checking the whole...
every two hours on the plane.

Like, "Can you reset the Wi-Fi?"

And they were like, "It broke on
the last... like two flights ago."

By the time he got home, I
had already had my surgery

'cause it was, like, they
had to do it right away.

So, my mom took
me to the surgery

and then, Travis, as
soon as he landed,

came straight to the hospital

and then took over and slept
at the hospital with me.

He loves you so much.

- Yeah.
- It's really, like...

I said to him after, I was like,
"You're really my husband."

Aww.

But he was, like...

Didn't it feel good to
have that partnership,

- though?
- Yeah, totally.

Do they know how quickly
it manifested itself?

- Because don't you get the scans often?
- It was, it was quick.

- Yeah, it was quick.
- So, you caught it early then.

- The timing of it was miraculous.
- Oh, wow.

Like, that, like,
saved everything.

I just feel so grateful that,

ya know, how
everything played out

and for the doctors that really
helped to make the best decisions

that really saved our baby.

Dr. Rad was like,
"That was a trauma

"and, like, I want you guys to
be able to, like, take a second

and know that that
was really traumatic."

There's some superpower
that I have that,

in emergency situations,
I get really calm

and then right when we
left I was like, "Okay."

I could take a deep breath, I
could cry, I could get it out.

I probably cried more
than you cried, um...

I just know your whole
journey to get here,

you just have such great faith
in-in a higher power that

you knew that this was...

- that you were gonna get pregnant.
- Mm-hmm.

Like, when everyone was telling you,
"No, it can't happen. It can't happen."

The whole thing.

Literally, I feel like
I'm having a hot flash.

- Oh, my gosh.
- It's giving me anxiety.

So many people, like, they
were s-so grateful that

I posted something
about it because

they said so many people don't feel
comfortable even telling their friends

or their family members

because they're, like, did
they do something wrong,

or different things.

But my doctor's like, "There's
nothing that you did wrong.

"It's not age-related.

It's, like, just a super
rare thing that happened."

But then I was like, after
this happened, I was like,

"God's got this. We're good.

"This is a miracle
and we're just

gonna be super positive."

Your whole journey has just
been... it's a beautiful journey,

but it's really, you
know, it's been intense

- and you're at the finish line.
- Yeah.

- And you feel good.
- I feel good.

- But I also felt good, so I'm, like...
- Yeah.

if I don't feel movement
for, like, five minutes,

I'm, like, shaking him up.

Because of the emergency fetal
surgery that I had to have,

I'm now, like, mostly on bedrest

because there's... a
hole in the amniotic sac

from where they had to
go in to the surgery.

So, I'm not allowed to drive,

I'm not allowed to stand
for more than 20 minutes.

I'm really not leaving
the house, in other words.

Did you guys get my
baby shower invite?

- Yes.
- I haven't seen it.

- She never sent it to me.
- Oh, it's so cute.

- It's so cute.
- Is it supposed to be a surprise, though?

- I don't know. I don't know.
- Like, the theme and everything?

Yeah, I'm definitely
not blowing that.

I mean, I gave ideas of,
like, just vintage Disney...

- Yeah.
- but I don't know what...

Okay, so you know it's,
like, Disney theme?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

My mom was asking me about
the food and I was like,

"What? There's no mention of pretzels?"
Ya know, Mickey Mouse pretzels?

And there's no
Disneyland churros?

We have to have those.
Those are iconic.

How amazing would
that be? She agreed.

And then, beyond that, I was
like, "You know what? Enjoy."

I know how much
she loves to do it

and I think it's really one of
my lessons in life this year

is to not plan, like,
overly plan and control.

Okay, who wants to move that tray?
'Cause I'm not allowed to move anything.

♪ Bring it on, ring the alarm ♪

♪ Don't stop now,
just be the champion ♪

♪ You want a Maserati? ♪

♪ You better work, bitch ♪

Last year, I made a commitment to
myself that I was gonna slow down.

Wow.

- Take some time off.
- ♪ No time to quit now ♪

I was lying to myself 'cause
I've never been busier

and it's just...
it's just who I am.

Being busy and working
is my happy place.

♪ You better work, bitch ♪

I'm in New York. I'm
here for just 24 hours

and I've got Paris coming up.

♪ Live in a big mansion? ♪

♪ Party in France? ♪

♪ You better work, bitch ♪

♪ You better work, bitch ♪

♪ You better work, bitch ♪

Has Kim Kardashian slowed down?

No.

♪ Now get to work, bitch ♪

I'm running a business,
back and forth from meetings

and I'm in law school
and on top of that,

I'm a mom of four and it
is the most important job.

♪ Now get to work, bitch ♪

I have a new agent.

I sound so Hollywood, but
I'm not in that world yet.

I have to prove myself.

♪ Break it down ♪

I don't know. I'm
like, "I don't know."

Love. Wow.

- Help me.
- ♪ You better work, bitch ♪

S.O.S.

♪ Ooh! ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

Hello?

Season Five, which
means, by the way,

if you add in the 20
seasons we did previously

and these five seasons,
that's 25 seasons.

So, I think somebody should
give me a 25th anniversary gift.

How 'bout that? Aren't you
glad you brought that up?

- Yello!
- There you are.

Wow, somebody's
lost a lotta weight.

- Wearin' my new glasses, I see.
- Look at the glasses you bought me!

- Hi.
- Oh, is that what you were tellin'

- me about?
- Hi.

- Yeah, but I got you some.
- You look great!

Scott looks great.

And I know that he has really
struggled the last year or so.

You're really livin'
large these days.

I've gained a lotta weight
here 'cause of my back.

This is probably the
unhealthiest I've seen him.

And I felt like he was
not in the best place

and it made me really sad.

Wow, you're really
being healthy.

- Lemme show you this trick.
- Lemme throw it.

- Lemme throw it.
- To me?

Scott.

I get nervous throwin'
balls in your face.

I'm used to someone
with better aim.

- Alright, you ready? Hello!
- Scott.

Listen, I'm not a
basketball player.

Well, yeah, that's
what I'm used to.

- So, are you... C-Can you not?
- Obviously. What are they like?

- Shooting hoops?
- Like, throwing balls in my mouth.

Season Five, we are back,
almost like we never left.

It might feel that
way to some. Me.

- Can you do a better job?
- Alright, hold on.

Everything is really
great right now.

I think I'm still
shedding my 30s.

I just wanna be with
my kids, enjoy my home.

Ha-ha. Yes!

Just dumb,
regular-shmegular shit.

How's Mason?

He's great. He's been
really unbelievable.

And, like, we're
closer than ever.

And he's extremely excited

about his new car that you
promised him in three years.

- So, he looks...
- Thirty-six months.

- He'll be 14 in, like, two months.
- Yeah.

But you lied to me and said
that I had a government license.

- What?!
- So, you're the one who told me that

- I was allowed to take the kids to school.
- Why... Wait, what?!

You drove the kids to school

- without a license?!
- At 14!

And she said you had
a government license?

- So, I couldn't drive and...
- This is insane.

I was a great driver.

A government-issued license
in the state of California

is something I
think I made up.

A government-issued
license is...

bullshit.

It was a little bit
different back then.

Don't judge me... until
you've walked in my shoes.

We're all going to jail.

She would've had all
of her kids taken away

- if this story came out when we were...
- Totally. Yeah.

- Oh, my God. Right.
- This one, I used to... She used to...

With my "government license"
before I could drive,

we would all go out
to, like, The Standard,

- that hotel.
- Yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
By the Mondrian.

- Mom got shitfaced.
- Really?

And she was like... She...
And it was only her and I.

I'm driving on the
freeway, I'm 15,

I'm not, like, qual... like,

- this is a lot for me.
- Right.

And then she's just ha...
head hangin' out, whatever.

Like, that's not what you're

- supposed to do.
- No warning!

All of a sudden, bleh.
And we're on the freeway.

- Oh, and it hits the car?
- It shoots back... No, into me!

It comes back into the car?!

And I start crying. I
go, "Please! Mom, Mom!"

- And, and she kept throwing up.
- You are a role model.

No, listen, she was throwing up,

and I w... I had this, let
me tell you, I know the coat.

Kim and her ex-husband, the
first one, bought me this coat.

It was the most expensive
thing I ever owned.

- It was shearling.
- To this day?

It was just... I
remember white shearling.

It was navy suede on the outside.
That's what I was wearing.

And you can't get acidic
throwup out of suede. Okay?

I take her home, we pull
in, Mom is such a legend.

You know when you go on the
house phone, you all call?

- And she goes, "Bruce!"
- She all calls.

- "Clean it up!"
- "Bruce, I need you to know I threw up

and if we don't clean it
now, the paint's gonna peel!"

He hosed my jacket down too
and R.I.P. to the jacket.

Have you not seen that
bullshit she's doin' right now?

Say whatever you want.

There is this new
documentary about our family

and apparently, whoever,
has been calling

people that have either
once been in our lives

or are in our lives
to do the documentary

and no one really has agreed
to do it, except for Caitlyn.

What was it like
working with your wife?

Anyway, here we go.

Ugh.

Well, shoot me, I wanted to
be more than just a housewife.

Okay, so...

kill me.

Caitlyn is completely free
to do whatever she wants.

I do find it strange that she
would agree to do a documentary

that I would imagine isn't trying to
paint us in the most beautiful light.

I just know she wouldn't
like that about her.

I got so many text
messages saying like,

"Doesn't that hurt
your feelings,

that, like, this is what, you
know, your stepdad says about you?"

And it honestly doesn't.

I had such a great
stepdad who raised me.

So, like, none of those
things that are said,

even if twisted or whatever are
gonna make me think differently

of, like, the, the life I had.

People have pointed fingers
at her over the years

as if she was the one
that instigated being mean

or being unkind or
being this or being that

- or not understanding.
- No, she... People didn't, Caitlyn did.

- Caitlyn always made you look like that.
- Yeah, yeah.

That's what I'm tryin' to say,
but even more so now than ever.

Even a few years ago, when
she asked for, like, help

with the YouTube channel and
she still gave a helping hand.

She still tried to help.

She still went out of
her way and now this?

This was my dad for 24
years. Like, it hurts me too.

- I could totally understand that.
- And I was very close to Bruce.

- Right.
- Bruce and I...

I used to lay in bed with him
and watch Unsolved Mysteries

and all this shit all the time.

- He was an unsolved mystery.
- Ugh!.

Okay, what are we talkin' about?

Um, I have to go pack for Paris.

- So, what are you...
- Are you coming?

- What is Paris?
- Paris Fashion Week.

Oh, my God, I forgot about that.

- Are you gonna come?
- I don't know.

Oh, come on.

- It's so chill.
- Scott's gonna stay there

and take care of the
kids, do the carpool.

- So much work.
- You gotta get fitted.

Different outfit for every day.

- Different situations.
- No, I'm going for 12 hours.

- For what?
- I don't know, 'cause I'm with Kim.

There's a couple things
that are holding me back

from wanting to go to Paris.

School has just started and
the school routine is a routine

and especially, when Kim told
me we're in Paris for 12 hours,

that didn't really
seal the deal for me.

Kim can fly by the seat of
her pants, but it's not me.

Like, I'm not gonna
change who I am.

I was like, "You know what, I
actually don't care to do this.

I would rather be with my kids."

- I have to go pack. I'm a very busy girl.
- You don't pack yourself.

Well, I organize and I...

So, you throw it out
there and you say...

♪ Now I'm fresh and clean ♪

♪ I'm smellin' like a flower ♪

♪ And my dress is mean ♪

♪ I feel I got the power ♪

♪ Have self-esteem,
I'm beamin', dreamin' ♪

♪ Of the time I'm
gonna have a night ♪

♪ Where's the party at? ♪

♪ I'm gonna take flight ♪

Hello?

Oh. Hi, it's me!

Todd Kraines.

- Hi!
- Hey!

Tristan has just been signed
back to the Cleveland Cavaliers.

- How are ya?
- Good, how are you?

Good.

He is about to go to Cleveland
in the next couple days

and the bird's leaving the nest.

Go fly, little bird, go fly.
Don't come back anytime soon.

- How's your day goin'?
- Good. Packing.

I feel like the past
couple years have been,

I don't know if traumatic
is too big of a word.

But I feel like... Okay. I
feel like the past couple years

or maybe the past decade
has really been a very

heavy time in my life.

And I don't necessarily get a
lot of time to just, like, heal.

I thought you weren't
packing a lotta stuff.

Even when you say you're
not packin' a lot,

- you still bring a lot.
- Oh yeah.

Right?

And so, I am just
taking time for me,

and I'm not doing
anything special.

I'm not doing
anything different,

but I just wanna be
in the moment more.

I wanna put my energy into
things that make me happy.

How are you feeling
about leaving?

I guess it's
bittersweet, it's a lot.

Going to Cleveland and-and-and
not having Amari there

with me is definitely
gonna be tough.

Well, he's better here 'cause
this is where his doctors are

and it's better for him to be
around family and the kids.

That's gonna be the...
probably the challenging part,

not havin' that team,
that-that team at home

to lean on when
things get tough.

I don't know if you remember
when you first came back here,

- that was a transition for you...
- Mm-hmm.

not having your
basketball routine

and then you're like...
"I'm doing this routine?"

Not like it's bad, but
you just had to, like,

get reprogrammed into doing that

and then it's basically what
you're gonna be doing now.

Like, it's just a
reprogramming and...

it's a short time period in
the grand scheme of things.

Mm-hmm. Daddy gotta go work.

The move in and all
of these changes,

it was still just so
overwhelming for me.

Oh, they put the blinds
up! Okay, awesome.

And so, now, like, even just
when he moved into his house

and I had my home
back, I was like,.

This is little Tutu's room.

It's so cute.

Now that he's going to Cleveland, I
can imagine I'll just feel a relief.

See the picture I
have right here?

I don't care who it is.
I need a... I need space.

I mean, we can just combine both houses
and just live one, big, happy family.

- No.
- Just make a big trail, like a,

like a big tunnel, you know?

- Like a overpass...
- Mm-hmm.

from here to-to-to your house.

- That's normal.
- Yeah.

- Like...
- I know, we were a great dynamic duo,

you know, like, peanut
butter and jelly?

You know I'm always gonna come
with these: fire and ice...

salt and pepper...

Batman and Robin.

Like, come on, let's just...
You know where I stand.

Are you just naming,
like, random two things?

Yeah.

Sometimes I hate how
much I have to think

and be on guard to not
do anything that might

ever give a glimmer
that there's hope.

M'kay.

Thank you.

Okay, thank you.
You gotta let go.

Don't walk so close to me.

Yep. They really don't.

They just don't leave,
even when you ask them to.

They just keep stayin'.

Well...

alright.

It's never gonna end.

Bye.

- Your dress is amazing.
- Okay, I'm excited to see.

And I would love
you to try it...

- Of course.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Season Five. Welcome back.

- How's it goin'?
- It's goin' great.

I wanna say something.

I feel like I am, obviously,
the most boring sister,

but, like, genuinely, like,
I watched the show back

and I'm just like, "I
talk about the same thing

over and over again."

I'm always talkin'
'bout my baby horse,

my horses, and then,
like, uh, my anxiety.

The type of anxiety
that I suffer from.

Lot of anxiety in
settings like this.

That's my horse right here,
the mixed colored one.

I'm having a baby... horse.

"Boring" is a really negative word,
that's for sure, 'cause I'm not boring,

and ask any one of
my best friends.

I am a good time, 'kay?

- It's gonna be fun. I'm excited!
- Yeah.

I am in Paris for Fashion Week.

- I'm excited, perfect.
- It's supposed to be

super long.

I am walking the
Victoria Beckham Show.

We have a L'Oréal fashion show.

You like?

And tonight, I have
dinner with Kylie,

which I'm excited about.

I really love alone
time with Kylie.

I think we're both pretty busy,

so when we get to have
these one-on-one moments,

it's always really special.

I know, you really
did your thing, guys.

Right? I mean, only
the best for you.

Thank you.

This whore just made
me wait for an hour.

Just have to take a
selfie really quick.

No, no, seriously,

I look really good right now.

Hot.

Anyway, what, what
were you saying?

Hi, Season Five. It
feels good to be back.

I haven't sat in this
chair in a while.

What are you laughing at?

She just made me
wait for an hour

in her hotel room for
her to do a photo shoot.

Whatever!

- And now we are finally on our way.
- It's Fashion Week!

Well, you could've done your
photo shoot after dinner!

- But Kendall...
- And, and had some consideration

- for my time.
- Oh, oh, that's gonna be really hard.

Did you try this?
This is so yum.

- Are they hearts?
- Are they hearts?

- Yeah.
- So cute.

Oh, my God! So cute.

How's everything
with everything?

My drama is that I went to
the Dolce & Gabbana show.

They wanted me
to, like, walk out

- right before the show.
- Mm-hmm.

I was having the best time.

I was, like, taking pictures, I
was just chatting with everyone.

Hi!

Then, as I walked out, Kendall,

and I saw everyone sitting,

- then I realized, "Oh, shit."
- Everyone's gonna say, yeah.

"Everyone sitting here for
the last hour is gonna think

- that they were waiting for me."
- Yeah, yeah.

The show started, it's fine.

And then, then, of course, all
these reporters that are there

start going on TikTok and like,

"Well, then, like, you know,
this is how the Dolce show went

"and Kylie held the
show up for 47 minutes.

We're all waiting
there for Kylie."

And I'm like....

Bonding with
Kendall is the best.

I'm just so grateful to have a
sister so close in age to me.

I mean, she's, like, really old.

We accept each other for who
we are. Opposites attract.

That is true. And
we're just a good team.

Kendall.

Can I get one
that says "Kris"?

Absolutely.

This is so cute.
I can't take it.

Thank you, guys.

Alright.

I am so excited for Kourtney to see
what we've done for her baby shower.

Hi!

Kourtney's favorite
thing is Disney

and we've been going to Disneyland
since Kourtney was born,

so this is a very special
place in Kourtney's heart.

I'm gonna get those hats done.

- Okay. Okay.
- I'll be right back.

So, I thought I'd
bring Disneyland to her

for her baby shower and
do it in my backyard.

A little Chrome Hearts
stroller never hurt anybody.

Listen, I'll have a
baby shower today.

I'm having a-a ball, by the way.

And we have our family
tradition of the baby bookcase.

So, we just filled
that up with books.

This is so cute.

Oh, Kourtney just FaceTimed me.

- Hey, Mom.
- Hi, sweetheart.

You're not gonna believe this,

but I tested positive for Covid.

Oh no!

Unbelievable.

Can you please ask
Mindy to come in?

Can she come in here right away?

It's important.

Wait, stand over there...

- because...
- Yeah?

Kourtney isn't able
to come to the shower.

- Seriously?
- Yeah, she's not coming.

Is she sick?

She has Covid.

The morning of my baby shower,

I woke up and tested
positive for Covid,

right when I was about
to start getting ready.

I want to cry.

- I mean, it's just...
- I know.

you've done such
a beautiful job,

and it's just hitting me that...
I'm like, "Are you kidding?"

You always have the best attitude.
I didn't know who else to tell.

I wanna hug you, but
I was with her too.

- I'm just gonna keep my distance.
- Right.

- I'm gonna get tested.
- And Travis has it too?

- Or no?
- Travis has Covid.

I'm, I'm kinda- I'm,
like... I'm shaking.

I'm so... I just want
Kourtney to be okay.

She's a high-risk pregnancy.
This is really crazy.

I was just wanting to make
her happy. So... dang!

I don't know why I'm emotional,

but I just want her to be
okay and I'm a little worried.

Travis is gonna pick me
up 'cause I can't drive.

Right.

I didn't know what to
do and my mom was like,

"Well, you have to come
see the baby shower.

Like, you have to see
what's going on over here."

So I did.

So, we were just gonna
both come see it be...

hopefully, before people
come, we're gonna come now.

- Okay.
- I don't know if you want us

to get outside of the car and
come see it and wear masks?

Yeah. Get out of the
car and then wear a mask

- and come to the front door.
- Okay.

The first part of Travis's
European tour is over

and he flies home and
we test him for Covid.

He wants to test.
He's negative.

Okay, I'll see
you in 10 minutes.

- Okay, I'll see you soon, bye.
- O-Okay, bye.

We make out for six hours

and then, I feel that he is hot.

Like, his head feels very warm.

Not-Not a making out type of
warm, like, a really warm.

And then he tests
positive for Covid.

- The shower starts in 20 minutes, right?
- I know. Uh-huh.

So, I think it's crazy
to call 50 guests

or a hundred people
and go, "Don't come."

- I think they'll have fun...
- With all this beautiful food

and everything going on here
that you guys have worked

for two days
putting it together.

I think everybody comes
by, has breakfast.

- Yes.
- Some things you just

don't have any control of.

And the most important thing
today is Kourtney's health

and making sure her
and the baby are okay.

Is that them?!
Okay, we're ready!

Okay. Start singing. Here they
come. They're right there.

♪
Hello, hello, hello ♪

Oh, my gosh.

♪ Hello, my baby ♪

♪ Hello, my honey ♪

♪ Hello, my ragtime,
ragtime gal ♪

We really didn't
know what to do.

If we should separate or what.

- Aww.
- ♪ Baby, my heart's on fire ♪

I stayed in the guest room
and we FaceTimed all night.

But I think that first six hours of
just making out was like, "I got Covid."

Aw, look at the "Baby
Barker". It's like Disneyland.

♪ Tell me, I'm... ♪

- So cute.
- Thank you. Congratulations.

Thank you!

Looks so good. Thank you.

This is so cute. They have,
like, the little Mickey things.

Babe, the most important
part right here.

- The churros?
- The churro station.

I told my mom she
had to have that.

It was Disney-themed.

Oh, my God, look at the cake.

- So cute.
- The pretzels are so cute!

I needed pretzels and
churros and I got them both.

I need a pretzel.

Definitely indulges in that.

Mom, this is crazy!

I feel like we just
need to do it again.

Okay.

- Hi, is this the cutest?
- Yeah.

- Hi, Penelope.
- Hello.

Did you see the cake, babe?

- Oh, I didn't.
- Oh, my gosh.

This is the cutest ever, Mom.

I'm not allowed
to get near you.

Oh, my gosh!

This is the longest that I
haven't been to Disneyland...

and so my mom, basically,
brought Disneyland to me.

It's, like, couldn't be a more
perfect shower for me and Travis.

Let's just sit here and
then we'll tell everyone

not to sit here after us.

This is the cutest
thing I've ever seen.

Can those guys come to my house
later and just sing to me?

'Cause I love those little men.

- We'll send them over.
- Yeah.

This baby shower that my mom
put together is so adorable.

It's so Kourtney.
It is perfect.

One on each lap.

My mom thought about
every little thing.

Everything in Kourtney's eyes
that she would want and love.

How cute is this Wishing Tree?

And I believe that
love is in the details.

Hi!

- Hi, how are you?
- Happy Sunday!

Yes, very exciting.

She's like, "Yes."

They're over there
in their cage.

I'm not even hungry, but
I needed to have this.

I think you can stay
right here, babe,

and have people come in
and... you just, like...

You're almost like a Disney
character, you just sit here and wave.

Oh, my gosh!

We gotta do them all over again.

How cute is this?

- It's the cutest thing I've ever seen.
- How cute is it?

I was, like, should we redo it
at my house in, like, two weeks?

- Yes.
- And just have Mindy

- bring everything there?
- Yeah, just keep everything ready to go.

They have Mickey
pretzels with cheese.

- That was my one request.
- You look cute.

- I did my own glam.
- Wait, really?

- Oh.
- Well, I made glam leave

'cause I tested right
when they got there.

We're outside. You're far.

- Yeah.
- You're fine.

Now that we're
here at the shower,

everyone is telling us to stay,
and there's two chairs and a table

that are so perfect, that
are far away from everyone

where I feel like we're the
king and queen of Covid.

I'm gonna feed you cheese.

Mm-mm, don't you dare.

Never.

Everyone felt comfortable
because we're outside

and everyone wants us to
enjoy our baby shower.

I got it this morning.

Wow, I really almost
came over there.

We can do peak and
pit from the far away.

Yeah, we can do peak and pit,
should we get a megaphone?

- No.
- I love you.

- Thank you for coming.
- Of course. Love you.

- Thank you for coming.
- Bye, you guys.

- Thank you for coming. Bye, Pierce.
- Congratulations.

Hey!

Is that the distance we get?

I told her she
can't say hi to you.

We get to sit here. I said,
thank God Travis came.

Imagine if I was here by myself?

Can we have a sign
like at the zoo

when it tells you what
kind of animal it is?

- Covid?
- "Has Covid."

You can come a little closer.

- We're good.
- You look cute.

Thank you. So do you.

This is, like, perfect for
you guys, in your castle.

Ah! Shit!

My God!

We're gonna have
a toast, everyone!

- Hi, guys!
- Hi!

We all wanna congratulate
Kourtney and Travis

for their beautiful,
beautiful angel

that's gonna be here
in a couple weeks now.

It could be tomorrow. It
could be in two weeks.

- Let's hope for five.
- Five weeks.

Okay, five-week countdown.

We are just so happy to be here
and to see that your love flourish

and that what your love created.

Real genuine love and a little
angel that's coming soon.

Number 13 for the family.

- Mom has been crying all day.
- Wow! Lucky number 13.

- That's right.
- 'Kay, your turn.

Oh! You guys, we're just praying
for a healthy and happy delivery.

We cannot wait to
meet Baby Rocky.

I don't think you were
supposed to say... Baby...

That was just... That's...

What I meant was, what I meant was
it's gonna be a very rocky day...

Come on, Mom. We've been
hiding names and bumps

and pregnancies and marriages
and everything for years.

And at grandchild 13, are you,
like, losing it at this point?

Like, how do you let it slip?
How do you say the name?

I would just say, um,
just to add to that,

if his name is Rocky...

it's so fitting because he's such
a fighter and so are you guys.

- And we love you.
- And he's a rock star.

- Yes.
- Here, here!

Long live Kourtney
and Travis and baby!

Cheers!

Mm. He's moving,
right at that time.

Well, note to self, won't
tell you any kids names

anytime movin' forward.

This is so perfect.
Thank you, Mom.

It's so thoughtful.

- Thank you!
- Okay, you guys.

And can you imagine if you
didn't see all of this, babe?

- Yeah. No, we had to see it.
- This is so cool.

Is this exhausting?

It is exhausting. I'm,
like, outta breath.

Yeah.

Are you?

- You're not growing a baby.
- No.

- I wish I could do this for you.
- Mm.

I think it all turned out, after
all, at the happiest place on earth.

So, you know, there's
always a happy ending.

There might be a
lotta drama, as usual,

but at the end of the day,
there's always a happy ending.

And it's always about family.

- ♪ Who run the world? ♪
- ♪ Girls ♪

♪ Body like a goddess,
heaven sent, I'm woman ♪

♪ Queen, you know what I mean? ♪

♪ Watch out world, I'm comin' ♪

♪ Make life, break lives ♪

♪ Guess who's back
in the house... ♪

♪ Cream of the crop ♪

♪ You do not know her, so
please watch your mouth ♪

♪ We're takin' over,
I'm queen, better bow ♪

♪ I'm here and I'm now... ♪

I hope I fall asleep.

- Are you tired?
- Not yet.

You can just hang out with me.

- We can gossip.
- I know, but I have to sleep

- 'cause I have to work as soon as we land.
- Yeah. Just kidding.

My mom, Corey and I
are going to Paris.

I mean, it's Fashion Week.

There is just so much going
on that I'm so excited about.

Thank you.

- Ooh. Thank you for doing that.
- Thank you, thank you.

Here, take that, take that.

- Here you go, babe.
- Thank you.

Alright, guys. Here's to
an amazing trip to Paris

- with a little...
- Twenty-four hours in Paris.

Do you wanna know
where I'm going?

So, I go to New
York, six hours...

to Paris for 15 hours,

to Atlantic City, to Milan.

My plane's gonna go
home, pick up my kids...

When people are like,
"Why do you work so much?"

Like, "Okay, yeah,
that's my vice,

but what else do you
want me to be doing?"

So, I'm actually gonna have
them drop me off in Milan.

Do you want me to
be doing drugs?

Like, if I'm addicted to
working and being busy,

I don't think that's
the worst thing.

Then I have to go
to Washington, D.C.

How about, "Let me
do what I wanna do.

You do you, I'll do me."

So, that is how many
places in about four days?

- A lotta places.
- Well, here's to your sanity.

- Five days.
- That's impressive.

Here's to safety, and,
uh, uh, good energy.

- And a-a positive mind.
- Good energy...

- Here's to Paris, guys, to Paris.
- Paris.

Um, you wanted this bed?

No, I don't, I don't
care where I go.

You guys wanted that second bed.

- Sure.
- The double bed.

Oh. I was like, "Who
wanted this one?"

Khloé is unbearable these days.

Khloé's not coming, and honestly,
she's just not feeling it.

When you're not feeling it,

there's nothing that could force
you to come and have a good time.

Like, you will just be miserable.
I'm not in the mood to deal.

Kourtney is at the very
end of her pregnancy.

I feel like someone has to be
here, even for all the kids.

Like, God forbid there's
a natural disaster.

I just feel like
somebody has to be here.

I know I'm an overthinker.
I know I'm insane.

Welcome to my mind.

She needs to get out
and live her life.

All arrows are pointing
towards misery.

She feels guilty for leaving
and she just should be home.

Au revoir!

Ha!

Thirty-minute countdown.

Hey!

- Hey! Wait, is this Kylie?
- No, Kim.

- Oh!
- Hi!

I saw Ariel and I was
like, "Wait, what?"

- Hey!
- Wait, are you walking in

- the Victoria Show?
- Yeah.

- Sorry. Hi.
- Hi, babe. How you doin'?

- You alright?
- Good. How are you?

- 5:30.
- I love that you're walking

in all the shows right now.

- When do you leave? In the morning?
- Tomorrow at 6:00 a.m.

Um, and then you go home?

I'm actually gonna go
to New York for a day.

Kim is only here for 12 hours.

And I don't know why.
Like, God bless her soul.

I have so much respect for the
level of give a that she has

and flying around to all these places
and more power to her, for sure.

But I just could never,
like, it's so much.

Why is everyone so
concerned that I work a lot?

Everyone just has a different
idea of what success is

and looks like to them.

And I think you just should be,
like, nonjudgmental of what that is.

It could look like anything.

I worry about
her. I really do.

I think about her often in the
sense of I want her to take a break.

Are you here tomorrow?

- Yeah.
- What are you... Are you...

Do you have stuff tomorrow
night... at, like, 6:00 p.m.?

I don't know. What, what
is... What's happening?

Because Ashleya,
Kelsey, me, Hailey,

like, everyone's coming
over and we're gonna watch

The Golden Bachelor if
you wanna watch with us.

- Oh, stop it!
- Yeah.

- What time?
- Si... We were gonna

- watch it at six.
- Wait, you're gonna watch what?

Golden Bachelor tomorrow.

- You're leaving, right?
- Ugh, I'm dying to see it.

- I'm so excited!
- You guys are finally

- on my Bachelor bandwagon?
- You know, shut up!

I've been on The Bachelor
with you for years.

- I know.
- You used to make me watch it

when I was little.

That's what I'm gonna
watch on the plane.

- It's on Hulu!
- You can get it on Hulu.

You just download it.

Do you remember when we
used to come to Paris

- and I used to get you oatmeal and pasta?
- Oh, we're doing this right now?

- Yeah.
- We're d... We're getting sentimental?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

And now you have your own
room. You're all grown up.

Oh, my God, Kendall,
have you seen the show...

Is it, like, Sexual
Attraction or something?

- Naked Attraction.
- Naked Attraction.

- It's insane. It's pornography.
- It's insane.

No. What is it?

Is it reality?

No, they, like... You...
They judge them by

- their, like, naked bodies and they...
- Stop. I love stuff like this.

Okay. Come back in here...

Sorry, I'm so popular.
Everybody wants to talk to me.

You're my only friend in here.

Kendall, come here!

Wait, no! She's mine!

- God!
- I'm being summoned here.

- I just want you for more than...
- I'll be right back.

What is happening? God.

I feel so desired in this
very moment and I love it.

Um, no, I'm kidding. I
mean, I'm not kidding,

but everybody loves
feeling a little desire.

What about the one where
you find your family?!

I'm more afraid to keep
my mom waiting, for sure.

Kendall, they zoom in.

- Shut... This is on TV?
- Yeah.

Wait, Kendall, come back here!
I have no one to talk to!

- Look at this vagina on the girl's...
- No!

We're like, "What
the is this?"

Kendall, I'm lonely!

That is crazy. I need
to watch this show.

- I'm back.
- Kim and I'll be there tonight...

- Yup.
- to watch

bringing her family to work day.

Indeed.

Indeed. I do actually
have to leave, though.

I won't see you,
but you'll see me.

- Good luck!
- Thanks!

- Oh, my God!
- I didn't even get no pictures with you.

Oh, my God, Kim.

- Thank you.
- That is stunning.

♪ Ooh, blame it on my attitude ♪

♪ Blame it, blame it,
blame it on my attitude ♪

Ooh, we're in a big traffic
jam in the middle of Paris.

Does it say how
much longer, guys?

We are in this crush of traffic.

We know we're gonna be
late. We feel terrible.

We don't know what else to do.

It's, like, one road
in and one road out,

and it's stopped.

Do you wanna text Victoria and
tell her we're sorry we're late?

No.

How far is the walk if we
walked it? Just outta curiosity.

I have such anxiety
because I'm never late.

I don't like to be late.
I like to be early.

Yeah, this isn't moving.

We gave ourselves plenty of
time to get there, over an hour.

And here we are in this mess.

And I'm so nervous that we're
not gonna make the show.

And I know how much
this means to Kim

because Victoria and
Kim are good friends.

And Kendall's walking the show.

Today, I am walking the
Victoria Beckham Show.

I'm really excited to be here.

I'm closing the show, which
is also such an honor.

And I love my look. I can't
wait for everyone to see.

Are they waiting for us?

The car ride took us an hour,

so we're 20 minutes
late to the show.

And I'm not late like that.

I'm very respectful of people's time
and I feel really bad that we're late.

I'm just stressed out 'cause
I just know what's gonna come.

And for everyone to then
start with this story

that we held up the show,
"Who do they think they are?"

And that Anna was mad.

That we don't like each other.

I think, if anything, I feel like
we have to be extra on time, early.

Just not give anyone
a reason to talk shit.

Where's Kendall? Wait a
minute, did we miss Kendall?

I'm like, "Maybe Kendall
got stuck in traffic."

What's happening?

Kendall, I don't want you
to take this personally,

but I think I
should let you know

that I did not see you walk
because I didn't recognize you.

It's so horrible.

My family, my friends,
they didn't recognize me,

but I kind of love that.

I-I really... I
kind of love it.

That's, like, kind of always my goal,
is, like, being a chameleon, I guess,

in the sense of becoming a
different character, I don't know.

She, she closed. She
was the last one.

So, she was the final look.

I should. I need them.

She's the best.

I came to support Victoria.
I came to support Kendall.

I love seeing my mom. I
do wish Khloé was here.

- I'm gonna go.
- Okay, I'll see you later.

Khloé can be so
stuck in a routine.

She's not gonna meet
anyone in carpool.

She's not gonna meet
anyone at drop off.

She's only gonna meet people
when she does adult things.

I think Khloé would be happier if she
wasn't so, like, rigid about a schedule.

Like, I'm not so
stuck on things.

Next on, The Kardashians...

Woo! Kendall!

Malika wants to have another
kid. Why not get it from you?

I can't anymore.

What?

Oh, I've always wanted
to bang ya. Let's do it.

Tonight is the premiere
of American Horror Story.

I can officially apply for
a star on the Walk of Fame!

You were really, really good.

They called me like, "You think
Kim would wanna do her own show?"

, what did I get myself into?

Can I really pull this off?

Well!

- Gerry!
- Hello, everyone!

Kendall is a huge
Golden Bachelor fan.

- Gerry!
- Hi. How are you?

Nice to meet you!

Your house is a circus
because you have a lot

and you have a lot going on.

I wanna be more strict, but
I have a hard time saying no.

Like, Khloé is so tough.

Have you talked to
her about this...

- No, because she's just very judgmental.
- 'cause she... Oh.

I am a rigid.

I can't say that, but au revoir.

- Are-vwah?
- It's "O."

- Au revoir.
- Au re... Au revoir.

Hors d'oeuvre. Order... What?

Maybe it's best you
don't go to Paris.