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1
00:00:48,665 --> 00:00:51,918
Come, sorrow.
We welcome thee.
2
00:00:51,919 --> 00:00:56,422
Let us join in grief,
rejoice in despair
3
00:00:56,423 --> 00:00:59,717
and honor
the fortunate dead.
4
00:00:59,718 --> 00:01:01,845
Dearly beloved.
5
00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:07,184
Shh!
6
00:01:46,807 --> 00:01:49,226
Good show, old man.
7
00:01:50,310 --> 00:01:51,269
Gomez.
8
00:01:51,270 --> 00:01:52,144
Cara mia?
9
00:01:52,145 --> 00:01:55,899
Marvelous news.
I'm going to have a baby
10
00:01:56,858 --> 00:01:58,277
right now.
11
00:02:04,449 --> 00:02:06,534
Nurse, how close
are the contractions?
12
00:02:06,535 --> 00:02:07,868
Every 15 seconds, Doctor.
13
00:02:07,869 --> 00:02:09,620
Are you
in unbearable pain?
14
00:02:09,621 --> 00:02:13,417
Is it inhuman?
My darling, is it torture?
15
00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:15,210
Oui.
16
00:02:15,836 --> 00:02:21,424
And then Mommy kissed
Daddy, and the angel told the stork
17
00:02:21,425 --> 00:02:23,509
and the stork flew down
from heaven
18
00:02:23,510 --> 00:02:28,389
and left a diamond under a
leaf in the cabbage patch
19
00:02:28,390 --> 00:02:31,475
and the diamond turned
into a baby.
20
00:02:31,476 --> 00:02:34,729
Our parents are having
a baby, too.
21
00:02:34,730 --> 00:02:36,648
They had sex.
22
00:02:38,191 --> 00:02:39,859
Push, Mrs. Addams.
23
00:02:40,819 --> 00:02:42,946
- Forceps!
- Forceps.
24
00:02:44,114 --> 00:02:45,699
Forceps.
25
00:02:50,329 --> 00:02:52,913
Mrs. Addams,
would you like anesthesia?
26
00:02:52,914 --> 00:02:55,958
No, thank you.
But do ask the children.
27
00:02:55,959 --> 00:02:57,711
Cara mia.
28
00:02:58,754 --> 00:02:59,879
Mon cher.
29
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,798
Mrs. Addams, the baby?
30
00:03:01,965 --> 00:03:02,923
Pardon.
31
00:03:02,924 --> 00:03:06,136
- It's a boy.
- It's a girl.
32
00:03:07,054 --> 00:03:08,804
- Gomez!
- What news?
33
00:03:08,805 --> 00:03:10,474
Father,
what is it?
34
00:03:10,599 --> 00:03:12,392
It's an Addams!
35
00:03:56,103 --> 00:03:59,772
I've arranged a little
surprise, my dearest.
36
00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:01,817
I hope you like it.
37
00:04:19,710 --> 00:04:25,381
Oh, Gomez, it's dark,
it's depressing, it's desolate.
38
00:04:25,382 --> 00:04:28,884
- It says, "toddler."
- It's a dream.
39
00:04:28,885 --> 00:04:30,971
Come,cara mia.
40
00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:35,559
The Addams' cradle.
41
00:04:50,657 --> 00:04:52,241
Welcome home, my son.
42
00:04:54,119 --> 00:04:55,411
That's not true.
43
00:04:55,412 --> 00:04:56,620
It is so.
Everyone knows it.
44
00:04:56,621 --> 00:05:01,083
When you have a new baby,
one of the other children has to die.
45
00:05:01,084 --> 00:05:03,419
- Really?
- It's a tradition.
46
00:05:03,420 --> 00:05:05,255
One of us has to go.
47
00:05:06,047 --> 00:05:06,881
Which one?
48
00:05:06,882 --> 00:05:10,302
Well, they only
need one boy.
49
00:05:13,805 --> 00:05:15,431
He has
my father's eyes.
50
00:05:15,432 --> 00:05:18,602
Gomez, take those
out of his mouth.
51
00:05:20,729 --> 00:05:22,897
A baby
in the house.
52
00:05:22,898 --> 00:05:26,567
It's about time.
Hey, kiddo.
53
00:05:28,945 --> 00:05:30,905
Did you see that?
54
00:05:34,284 --> 00:05:36,368
He's a real devil.
55
00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:46,837
Pugsley, the baby weighs
10 pounds.
56
00:05:46,838 --> 00:05:48,756
The cannonball
weighs 20 pounds.
57
00:05:48,757 --> 00:05:51,091
Which will hit
the stone walkway first?
58
00:05:51,092 --> 00:05:55,180
- I'm still on fractions.
- Which do you think?
59
00:05:55,305 --> 00:05:56,096
The cannonball?
60
00:05:56,097 --> 00:05:59,559
Very good.
But which one will bounce?
61
00:06:01,102 --> 00:06:01,977
The baby?
62
00:06:01,978 --> 00:06:04,648
There's only one way
to find out.
63
00:06:04,856 --> 00:06:06,316
Ready?
64
00:06:08,026 --> 00:06:11,821
One, two, three.
65
00:06:12,739 --> 00:06:14,991
What a glorious evening.
66
00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:16,617
Rain.
67
00:06:23,667 --> 00:06:24,917
Cara mia.
68
00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:26,336
Oh, dear.
69
00:06:31,758 --> 00:06:34,677
Children,
why do you hate the baby?
70
00:06:34,678 --> 00:06:35,970
We don't hate him.
71
00:06:35,971 --> 00:06:37,805
We just want
to play with him.
72
00:06:37,806 --> 00:06:39,014
Especially his head.
73
00:06:39,015 --> 00:06:42,935
Children, do you think we love
the baby more than we love you?
74
00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:43,853
- Yes.
- Yes.
75
00:06:43,854 --> 00:06:45,813
Do you think that when
a new baby arrives
76
00:06:45,814 --> 00:06:48,399
one of the other children
has to die?
77
00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:49,275
- Yes.
- Yes.
78
00:06:49,276 --> 00:06:52,237
Well,
that's just not true.
79
00:06:53,697 --> 00:06:55,281
Not anymore.
80
00:06:55,282 --> 00:06:57,992
It's just sibling rivalry.
81
00:06:57,993 --> 00:07:02,204
Gomez, do you remember
what we were like?
82
00:07:02,205 --> 00:07:04,665
- I hated you!
- I despised you.
83
00:07:04,666 --> 00:07:08,335
I choked him
until he lost consciousness
84
00:07:08,336 --> 00:07:10,671
and had to be put
on a respirator.
85
00:07:10,672 --> 00:07:11,380
I tied him to a tree
86
00:07:11,381 --> 00:07:15,217
and pulled out four
of his permanent teeth.
87
00:07:15,218 --> 00:07:16,302
When he was asleep,
88
00:07:16,303 --> 00:07:20,598
I opened his skull
and removed his brains.
89
00:07:20,599 --> 00:07:22,224
You did?
90
00:07:26,438 --> 00:07:28,315
Brother!
91
00:07:29,524 --> 00:07:30,984
Brother!
92
00:07:41,536 --> 00:07:43,871
Children, you see?
93
00:08:07,270 --> 00:08:12,400
"Death! Death to the enemies
of the people of the Republic."
94
00:08:13,109 --> 00:08:14,360
Hurrah!
95
00:08:14,361 --> 00:08:16,320
Justice is served.
96
00:08:16,321 --> 00:08:18,573
Bring forward
the evil one.
97
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:43,305
You have betrayed
the people of France.
98
00:08:43,306 --> 00:08:45,474
You are evil incarnate.
99
00:08:45,475 --> 00:08:46,934
How do you plead?
100
00:08:46,935 --> 00:08:48,894
Guilty.
101
00:08:48,895 --> 00:08:51,438
Guilty by her
own admission.
102
00:08:51,439 --> 00:08:52,940
The sentence is death.
103
00:08:52,941 --> 00:08:56,695
Executioner,
place her on the block.
104
00:09:09,124 --> 00:09:10,667
One,
105
00:09:10,709 --> 00:09:11,709
two...
106
00:09:11,710 --> 00:09:14,586
Children,
what are you doing in there?
107
00:09:14,587 --> 00:09:16,547
- Playing!
- Playing!
108
00:09:16,548 --> 00:09:18,174
Three!
109
00:09:21,594 --> 00:09:23,847
Woe to the Republic.
110
00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:26,765
Look at you.
111
00:09:26,766 --> 00:09:30,145
Midnight, moonlight,
112
00:09:30,353 --> 00:09:32,480
surrounded by death.
113
00:09:32,689 --> 00:09:34,691
It's been too long.
114
00:09:35,567 --> 00:09:36,650
Do it!
115
00:09:36,651 --> 00:09:37,359
Hold him still!
116
00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:40,280
You missed.
117
00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:46,368
Here, catch!
118
00:09:46,369 --> 00:09:47,703
I don't want him!
119
00:09:48,580 --> 00:09:50,999
One house,
three children.
120
00:09:51,374 --> 00:09:52,374
So many windows.
121
00:09:52,375 --> 00:09:55,044
My darling,
it's you I'm worried about.
122
00:09:55,045 --> 00:09:57,588
The stress,
all this squabbling.
123
00:09:57,589 --> 00:09:58,213
Oh, I'll be fine.
124
00:09:58,214 --> 00:10:01,675
I'm just like any modern woman
trying to have it all.
125
00:10:01,676 --> 00:10:04,136
Loving husband, a family.
126
00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:06,513
It's just I wish
I had more time
127
00:10:06,514 --> 00:10:11,561
to seek out the dark forces
and join their hellish crusade.
128
00:10:12,228 --> 00:10:12,936
That's all.
129
00:10:12,937 --> 00:10:16,732
You can. You shall.
So it must be.
130
00:10:18,693 --> 00:10:20,152
But how?
131
00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:22,362
Children, as your new nanny,
132
00:10:22,363 --> 00:10:27,952
I know that we're all concerned
about the environment.
133
00:10:28,036 --> 00:10:29,703
So, this morning,
134
00:10:29,704 --> 00:10:33,750
let's discuss how
to prevent forest fires.
135
00:10:33,875 --> 00:10:35,543
Prevent them?
136
00:10:35,752 --> 00:10:39,755
All right, children,
I've had it up to here.
137
00:10:39,756 --> 00:10:43,843
Now you just answer
one simple question.
138
00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:46,429
Where is that baby?
139
00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:47,888
Which part?
140
00:10:47,889 --> 00:10:48,972
Hello, kiddies.
141
00:10:48,973 --> 00:10:52,935
I'm Polly the puppet.
What shall we do today?
142
00:10:52,936 --> 00:10:57,107
I know.
Let's all clean our rooms.
143
00:10:59,359 --> 00:10:59,900
Hello, Polly.
144
00:10:59,901 --> 00:11:05,115
I'll clean my room in exchange
for your immortal soul.
145
00:11:14,082 --> 00:11:15,582
Hi. Addams residence?
146
00:11:15,583 --> 00:11:17,961
Ooh. It's old.
147
00:11:21,047 --> 00:11:22,632
And big.
148
00:11:23,049 --> 00:11:24,676
Lurch.
149
00:11:25,176 --> 00:11:29,847
Hi! Hi. I'm Debbie
Jellinsky from the agency.
150
00:11:29,848 --> 00:11:30,889
The agency?
151
00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:33,600
But they claimed
no one else was available.
152
00:11:33,601 --> 00:11:35,018
They suggested a Doberman.
153
00:11:35,019 --> 00:11:38,313
Surprise!
I've been out of town.
154
00:11:38,314 --> 00:11:39,356
Are you the mom?
155
00:11:39,357 --> 00:11:41,066
I am Mrs. Addams.
156
00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:45,112
I love your dress.
It's so tight.
157
00:11:45,113 --> 00:11:46,573
Thank you.
158
00:11:47,198 --> 00:11:48,323
Gomez.
159
00:11:48,324 --> 00:11:51,702
I believe we may have
a new nanny,
160
00:11:51,703 --> 00:11:53,288
Miss Jellinsky.
161
00:11:53,496 --> 00:11:54,747
Deb.
162
00:11:55,123 --> 00:11:57,666
Isn't he a lady-killer?
163
00:11:57,667 --> 00:11:59,377
Acquitted.
164
00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:01,044
I can show you
all my references
165
00:12:01,045 --> 00:12:03,130
so you know
I'm not a homicidal maniac.
166
00:12:03,131 --> 00:12:06,508
- Of course you're not.
- You're too young.
167
00:12:08,303 --> 00:12:09,761
Welcome to our home.
168
00:12:09,762 --> 00:12:12,181
There's a belfry,
a swamp
169
00:12:12,182 --> 00:12:14,600
and the dungeon
down below.
170
00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:17,145
- Cable?
- Of course.
171
00:12:17,687 --> 00:12:19,689
Debbie.
172
00:12:23,359 --> 00:12:26,069
Oh, is that
the little critter?
173
00:12:26,070 --> 00:12:27,404
Oh, no.
This is our baby.
174
00:12:27,405 --> 00:12:31,658
He's adorable. He's perfect.
What's his name?
175
00:12:31,659 --> 00:12:32,201
It was agony.
176
00:12:32,202 --> 00:12:35,662
We went through all the books,
all the usual baby names.
177
00:12:35,663 --> 00:12:37,497
- Lucifer.
- Benito.
178
00:12:37,498 --> 00:12:37,790
Mao.
179
00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:39,082
And then
we came to our senses.
180
00:12:39,083 --> 00:12:43,295
Something simple,
something a child could live with.
181
00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:44,839
Pubert.
182
00:12:45,048 --> 00:12:46,716
Pubert.
183
00:12:46,925 --> 00:12:48,133
I like it.
184
00:12:48,134 --> 00:12:50,010
It's filthy.
185
00:12:50,011 --> 00:12:51,136
May I?
186
00:12:51,137 --> 00:12:52,554
Your dress,
is it flammable?
187
00:12:52,555 --> 00:12:56,809
You've had your shots,
measles, mumps, rabies?
188
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:02,815
Oh!
189
00:13:03,775 --> 00:13:07,778
Oh, I just adore
little babies.
190
00:13:07,779 --> 00:13:09,571
I just want to grab 'em
and squeeze 'em
191
00:13:09,572 --> 00:13:13,242
till there's not a breath left
in their tiny, little bodies.
192
00:13:14,911 --> 00:13:16,788
Hello, Pubert.
193
00:13:16,996 --> 00:13:18,748
I love you.
194
00:13:23,128 --> 00:13:27,172
Children, this is Miss
Jellinsky, our new nanny.
195
00:13:27,173 --> 00:13:28,257
What do we say?
196
00:13:28,258 --> 00:13:31,427
Be afraid.
Be very afraid.
197
00:13:33,179 --> 00:13:34,096
Look at you,
198
00:13:34,097 --> 00:13:38,767
all cooped up in this house
with a new baby.
199
00:13:38,768 --> 00:13:41,396
That's not easy, is it?
200
00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:42,437
No.
201
00:13:42,438 --> 00:13:47,110
Why, I bet sometimes you wish it
was still just the two of you.
202
00:13:47,860 --> 00:13:49,404
Or less.
203
00:13:49,904 --> 00:13:51,947
Well, don't you worry.
204
00:13:51,948 --> 00:13:55,785
Everything's going to be
just fine.
205
00:13:57,453 --> 00:13:58,537
I love them.
206
00:14:00,415 --> 00:14:03,166
Thing, stop that.
207
00:14:03,167 --> 00:14:04,794
He likes you.
208
00:14:13,636 --> 00:14:15,137
I'm good with my hands.
209
00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:19,433
What a wonderful family.
210
00:14:19,434 --> 00:14:24,230
Although there's one fellow
I haven't met yet.
211
00:14:24,814 --> 00:14:26,023
Hi, there, mister.
212
00:14:27,191 --> 00:14:28,525
- Your nephew?
- My brother.
213
00:14:28,526 --> 00:14:31,528
- No!
- Fester, come out here.
214
00:14:31,529 --> 00:14:32,487
He's very shy.
215
00:14:32,488 --> 00:14:37,075
Fester, this is Miss
Jellinsky, our new nanny.
216
00:14:37,076 --> 00:14:39,162
Hello, Fester.
217
00:14:41,456 --> 00:14:44,624
These Addams men,
where do you find them?
218
00:14:44,625 --> 00:14:46,586
It has to be damp.
219
00:14:47,545 --> 00:14:48,628
I can't wait.
220
00:14:48,629 --> 00:14:51,215
I'll start first thing
tomorrow.
221
00:14:54,385 --> 00:14:56,679
Why not tonight?
222
00:15:04,395 --> 00:15:06,271
Good night, Debbie.
223
00:15:06,272 --> 00:15:07,356
Good night!
224
00:15:07,357 --> 00:15:10,151
Scream if
you need anything.
225
00:15:10,443 --> 00:15:12,736
So we've hired
Miss Jellinsky.
226
00:15:12,737 --> 00:15:16,365
- She's a gem, don't you think?
- She's perfect.
227
00:15:17,158 --> 00:15:19,618
Oh, Fester,
I'm such a lucky man.
228
00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:23,580
I hope that someday you'll
know the indescribable joy
229
00:15:23,581 --> 00:15:24,623
of having children,
230
00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:26,458
and of paying someone else
to raise them.
231
00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:28,502
But first,
wouldn't I have to get married?
232
00:15:28,503 --> 00:15:33,965
Oh, but you're just a boy.
There's plenty of time.
233
00:15:33,966 --> 00:15:36,426
You'll meet someone,
someone very special.
234
00:15:36,427 --> 00:15:41,140
- Someone who won't press charges.
- Oh, I'd like that.
235
00:15:41,391 --> 00:15:43,893
You rascal.
236
00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:47,730
Oh!
237
00:15:47,897 --> 00:15:50,066
And what's this?
238
00:15:53,986 --> 00:15:55,738
- Mom.
- Mom.
239
00:16:02,036 --> 00:16:05,872
Tonight on America's Most
Disgusting Unsolved Crimes
240
00:16:05,873 --> 00:16:09,544
we investigate
the case of Ursula,
241
00:16:10,169 --> 00:16:11,628
Carmen
242
00:16:11,629 --> 00:16:12,963
and Nadine.
243
00:16:12,964 --> 00:16:17,134
Three very different women
with one thing in common.
244
00:16:17,135 --> 00:16:17,635
Murder!
245
00:16:17,636 --> 00:16:19,177
And they're all
the same woman.
246
00:16:19,178 --> 00:16:21,847
She's known by the police
as a black widow.
247
00:16:21,848 --> 00:16:24,433
She mates, then she kills.
248
00:16:24,434 --> 00:16:25,934
She investigates wealthy men,
249
00:16:25,935 --> 00:16:28,562
finding the richest,
loneliest bachelors,
250
00:16:28,563 --> 00:16:31,314
gaining their trust
and their love
251
00:16:31,315 --> 00:16:33,066
and finally she marries them.
252
00:16:33,067 --> 00:16:37,529
Then on the wedding night,
she kills them.
253
00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:38,363
The deaths appear accidental.
254
00:16:38,364 --> 00:16:42,200
Then after the funeral,
she disappears, cash in hand.
255
00:16:42,201 --> 00:16:43,577
But the money never lasts,
256
00:16:43,578 --> 00:16:46,371
and soon the black widow
is hungry again.
257
00:16:46,372 --> 00:16:48,123
Hungry for cash,
hungry for love.
258
00:16:48,124 --> 00:16:53,044
A mistress of disguise, she has
eluded the authorities for years.
259
00:16:53,045 --> 00:16:53,545
Who is she,
260
00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:57,507
and what seemingly innocent
pose will she next assume?
261
00:16:57,508 --> 00:17:00,260
All we can say is,
262
00:17:00,261 --> 00:17:02,179
bachelors, beware.
263
00:17:34,545 --> 00:17:36,755
We'll be going out
for most of the morning.
264
00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:42,303
All the important numbers,
police, fire department, morgue.
265
00:17:44,639 --> 00:17:46,933
Fester, come along!
266
00:17:48,017 --> 00:17:50,143
Goodbye, Fester.
267
00:17:50,144 --> 00:17:52,605
Say goodbye to Debbie.
268
00:17:58,694 --> 00:17:59,986
Have fun!
269
00:18:04,659 --> 00:18:07,578
Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.
270
00:18:07,912 --> 00:18:11,832
Fester Addams. My, my.
271
00:18:11,916 --> 00:18:14,751
Stocks and bonds,
272
00:18:14,752 --> 00:18:16,254
deeds,
273
00:18:17,129 --> 00:18:18,463
gold bullion.
274
00:18:28,891 --> 00:18:30,517
Treasury bills,
275
00:18:30,518 --> 00:18:31,685
IRAs.
276
00:18:36,732 --> 00:18:39,402
What a strange, old house.
277
00:18:39,610 --> 00:18:41,361
It's so drafty.
278
00:18:41,362 --> 00:18:44,574
It's really no place
for children.
279
00:18:49,495 --> 00:18:51,706
No place at all.
280
00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:56,459
Hold still, you little brat.
281
00:18:56,460 --> 00:18:58,296
He's not a brat.
282
00:18:59,672 --> 00:19:03,926
Of course not.
He's an adorable, little baby.
283
00:19:04,260 --> 00:19:05,135
Fine. Rub it in.
284
00:19:05,136 --> 00:19:09,639
We're getting him all ready
for a nice, little walk.
285
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:11,099
Would you like to come?
286
00:19:11,100 --> 00:19:13,352
Are you really a nanny?
287
00:19:13,769 --> 00:19:15,604
What a question.
288
00:19:15,605 --> 00:19:17,607
Why did you come here?
289
00:19:17,940 --> 00:19:21,360
Why, to take care of you,
290
00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:24,488
all of you.
291
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:27,033
Especially my uncle?
292
00:19:34,373 --> 00:19:36,333
I shouldn't be
telling you this.
293
00:19:36,334 --> 00:19:40,420
They swore me to secrecy,
the little angels.
294
00:19:40,421 --> 00:19:44,424
But they want to go.
It's all they talked about all morning.
295
00:19:44,425 --> 00:19:46,384
They're just afraid
to ask you.
296
00:19:46,385 --> 00:19:50,514
They're afraid you'll think
that they don't love you.
297
00:19:50,598 --> 00:19:52,015
The poor things.
298
00:19:52,016 --> 00:19:55,101
- It is a bizarre request.
- It's horrifying.
299
00:19:55,102 --> 00:19:56,770
They have their hearts
set on it.
300
00:19:56,771 --> 00:20:01,358
I knew you'd want to know
as concerned, caring parents.
301
00:20:01,359 --> 00:20:03,610
Oh, Gomez,
what shall we do?
302
00:20:03,611 --> 00:20:04,903
How can we say no?
303
00:20:04,904 --> 00:20:07,197
Don't even
mention it to them.
304
00:20:07,198 --> 00:20:08,406
Just do it.
305
00:20:08,407 --> 00:20:12,661
I'm sure they'll deny
everything, but they want to go.
306
00:20:12,662 --> 00:20:14,664
God love 'em.
307
00:20:16,207 --> 00:20:18,584
- Summer camp.
- Summer camp.
308
00:20:20,878 --> 00:20:22,545
Camp Chippewa.
309
00:20:22,546 --> 00:20:24,130
How charming.
310
00:20:24,131 --> 00:20:25,173
What's a Chippewa?
311
00:20:25,174 --> 00:20:27,300
It's an old
Indian word.
312
00:20:27,301 --> 00:20:29,136
It means orphan.
313
00:20:31,639 --> 00:20:35,558
Fresh air,
the scent of pine.
314
00:20:35,559 --> 00:20:38,144
Wednesday,
look at all of the other children,
315
00:20:38,145 --> 00:20:44,276
their freckles, their bright, little
eyes, their eager, friendly smiles.
316
00:20:44,985 --> 00:20:45,985
Help them.
317
00:20:45,986 --> 00:20:49,114
Hi. I'm Amanda Buckman.
318
00:20:49,115 --> 00:20:51,241
Why are you
dressed like that?
319
00:20:51,242 --> 00:20:51,783
Like what?
320
00:20:51,784 --> 00:20:53,702
Like you're going
to a funeral.
321
00:20:53,703 --> 00:20:56,830
Why are you dressed
like somebody died?
322
00:20:56,831 --> 00:20:58,207
Wait.
323
00:20:59,041 --> 00:20:59,999
Hi. Don Buckman.
324
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:04,087
Isn't this place something else?
Very exclusive.
325
00:21:04,088 --> 00:21:04,879
- Really?
- Oh, yeah.
326
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:07,215
A kid has to be extra
special to get in here.
327
00:21:07,216 --> 00:21:08,299
Gifted, exceptional.
328
00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:11,052
Our Amanda's already
skipped two grades.
329
00:21:11,053 --> 00:21:12,554
How about your boy?
330
00:21:12,555 --> 00:21:14,014
Probation.
331
00:21:14,890 --> 00:21:15,765
We just love Chippewa.
332
00:21:15,766 --> 00:21:19,728
Amanda couldn't wait.
It's all she talked about.
333
00:21:19,729 --> 00:21:22,606
She's got
a whole new wardrobe.
334
00:21:22,815 --> 00:21:24,524
And this little lady?
335
00:21:24,525 --> 00:21:26,985
Oh, Wednesday's
at that very special age
336
00:21:26,986 --> 00:21:30,239
when a girl has only
one thing on her mind.
337
00:21:30,614 --> 00:21:32,198
Boys?
338
00:21:32,199 --> 00:21:33,743
Homicide.
339
00:21:36,287 --> 00:21:38,747
Attention!
Hey, listen up, everybody.
340
00:21:38,748 --> 00:21:39,998
I'm Gary Granger!
341
00:21:39,999 --> 00:21:43,793
And I'm
Becky Martin-Granger.
342
00:21:44,336 --> 00:21:46,755
We're the owners and
directors here at Camp Chippewa,
343
00:21:46,756 --> 00:21:50,925
America's foremost facility
for privileged young adults!
344
00:21:50,926 --> 00:21:55,221
And we're all here
to learn, to grow
345
00:21:55,222 --> 00:21:57,223
and to just
plain have fun!
346
00:21:57,224 --> 00:22:00,560
'Cause that's what being
privileged is all about.
347
00:22:04,315 --> 00:22:05,315
- Buffy!
- Debbie!
348
00:22:05,316 --> 00:22:08,109
I'm fine. How are you?
349
00:22:08,110 --> 00:22:09,903
How are you doing?
350
00:22:11,363 --> 00:22:13,948
Mom, I don't... I don't
think I like it here.
351
00:22:13,949 --> 00:22:15,200
Oh, will you
stop already?
352
00:22:15,201 --> 00:22:16,618
Do you know
how dirty you are?
353
00:22:16,619 --> 00:22:18,495
Selma,
please leave him alone.
354
00:22:18,496 --> 00:22:19,078
I can't breathe.
355
00:22:19,079 --> 00:22:21,581
Oh, stop it, Joel, please.
Now stand up straight.
356
00:22:21,582 --> 00:22:23,500
This is why
he's sick all the time.
357
00:22:23,501 --> 00:22:25,210
Oh, Dell, don't start
with me on that, please.
358
00:22:25,211 --> 00:22:29,631
This is it, you did this.
This has nothing to do with allergies.
359
00:22:29,632 --> 00:22:32,133
You did this.
You did this.
360
00:22:32,134 --> 00:22:33,551
Can you breathe?
Can you breathe?
361
00:22:33,552 --> 00:22:35,805
Stand up straight.
Stand up straight.
362
00:22:36,096 --> 00:22:37,055
"Everyone at the ball
363
00:22:37,056 --> 00:22:39,474
"turned and stared
at Cinderella.
364
00:22:39,475 --> 00:22:43,269
"'Who is that beautiful
woman?', everyone asked.
365
00:22:43,270 --> 00:22:46,689
"Even Prince Charming noticed
the new arrival.
366
00:22:46,690 --> 00:22:50,151
"'Who are you?, '
he asked Cinderella.
367
00:22:52,696 --> 00:22:57,034
"'My name is Cinderella, '
she said to the prince.
368
00:22:57,409 --> 00:22:58,868
"'Could you tell me,
369
00:22:58,869 --> 00:23:01,830
"'who is that man
over by the punch bowl?'"
370
00:23:01,831 --> 00:23:05,084
"That fascinating man,
371
00:23:05,501 --> 00:23:08,796
"that oddly sensual man.
372
00:23:08,879 --> 00:23:14,343
"That man who makes me quiver
under my bodice.
373
00:23:15,344 --> 00:23:17,637
"That bald man."
374
00:23:24,019 --> 00:23:26,104
She's driving me wild!
375
00:23:26,105 --> 00:23:27,731
- Who?
- Debbie!
376
00:23:27,898 --> 00:23:28,357
Debbie.
377
00:23:28,358 --> 00:23:31,985
Even the sound of her name.
Debbie.
378
00:23:31,986 --> 00:23:33,528
Isn't it beautiful?
379
00:23:33,529 --> 00:23:37,490
She makes me think of vinyl.
Chemicals!
380
00:23:37,491 --> 00:23:41,119
Truly, Fester, has it finally
happened at long last?
381
00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:42,412
I don't know.
I think so.
382
00:23:42,413 --> 00:23:45,456
All these years
I've watched you and Morticia
383
00:23:45,457 --> 00:23:48,543
through windows,
doorways, keyholes.
384
00:23:48,544 --> 00:23:50,211
I've been so happy for you.
385
00:23:50,212 --> 00:23:53,298
But I have to confess,
I've been jealous, too.
386
00:23:53,299 --> 00:23:58,720
I've dreamed that sometime maybe
there might be someone for me.
387
00:23:58,721 --> 00:24:01,764
- There's Thing.
- Oh, I know, I know.
388
00:24:01,765 --> 00:24:03,516
But I want more!
389
00:24:03,517 --> 00:24:07,187
Legs, elbows, a head.
390
00:24:07,688 --> 00:24:09,063
Two legs?
391
00:24:09,064 --> 00:24:09,689
Dare I...
392
00:24:09,690 --> 00:24:12,984
Dare I ask
Debbie to dinner?
393
00:24:12,985 --> 00:24:15,820
What if she says no?
What if she says yes?
394
00:24:15,821 --> 00:24:18,656
Oh, Gomez, if I asked her,
would you come?
395
00:24:18,657 --> 00:24:22,494
- You and Morticia.
- Of course.
396
00:24:30,127 --> 00:24:30,835
Lifesaving.
397
00:24:30,836 --> 00:24:33,171
Now I know we're all
top-notch, little swimmers,
398
00:24:33,172 --> 00:24:34,839
but now we get
to show our stuff
399
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:38,510
and earn
those certificates!
400
00:24:39,136 --> 00:24:43,222
Hey, how about our first little
pair of lifesaving buddies?
401
00:24:43,223 --> 00:24:45,559
Amanda, Wednesday.
402
00:24:45,726 --> 00:24:47,352
Is that your
bathing suit?
403
00:24:47,353 --> 00:24:48,728
Is that your overbite?
404
00:24:48,729 --> 00:24:50,813
Now one of you will be
the drowning victim,
405
00:24:50,814 --> 00:24:55,068
and the other one
gets to be our lifesaver.
406
00:24:55,069 --> 00:24:56,611
I'll be the victim.
407
00:24:56,612 --> 00:24:57,654
All your life.
408
00:24:57,655 --> 00:25:00,199
I'm going to be
an actress.
409
00:25:01,033 --> 00:25:01,450
Brava!
410
00:25:01,451 --> 00:25:05,537
Now, Amanda, jump in,
swim out a few yards and start drowning.
411
00:25:09,667 --> 00:25:11,668
Help me! Help me!
412
00:25:11,669 --> 00:25:15,171
I'm drowning! Help me!
413
00:25:15,172 --> 00:25:17,132
I'm dying!
414
00:25:18,717 --> 00:25:20,636
I can't swim.
415
00:25:46,578 --> 00:25:50,790
It's our favorite bistro.
We've been coming here for years.
416
00:25:50,791 --> 00:25:53,836
Of course,
it has been redone.
417
00:25:54,503 --> 00:25:56,505
Oh, it's just lovely.
418
00:25:56,797 --> 00:25:58,841
Isn't it, Fester?
419
00:26:01,093 --> 00:26:02,428
Fester.
420
00:26:08,434 --> 00:26:10,727
It's a quaint
French custom,
421
00:26:10,728 --> 00:26:12,979
sharing half-eaten bread.
422
00:26:12,980 --> 00:26:14,772
Fester is
truly continental.
423
00:26:14,773 --> 00:26:16,649
He spent
many years abroad.
424
00:26:16,650 --> 00:26:19,610
He speaks 12 languages
fluently.
425
00:26:19,611 --> 00:26:20,153
I could tell.
426
00:26:20,154 --> 00:26:24,323
You know, when I first saw him,
I thought he was from Europe.
427
00:26:25,075 --> 00:26:27,703
- You did?
- It's true.
428
00:26:27,828 --> 00:26:29,747
But I took a bath.
429
00:26:35,586 --> 00:26:40,381
Fester's really a wonderful man.
He's just terribly shy.
430
00:26:40,382 --> 00:26:44,052
Really, I just can't tell.
Does he like me at all?
431
00:26:44,053 --> 00:26:47,263
Of course, he does.
He vomited.
432
00:26:47,264 --> 00:26:48,056
That's true.
433
00:26:48,057 --> 00:26:51,434
Does he always do that
with women he likes?
434
00:26:51,435 --> 00:26:54,271
Oh, no. Just you.
435
00:26:55,939 --> 00:26:57,899
Do you think she minded?
436
00:26:57,900 --> 00:26:59,067
Of course not.
437
00:26:59,068 --> 00:26:59,942
She adores you.
438
00:26:59,943 --> 00:27:03,405
Ugh! I'm making
such a mess of things.
439
00:27:03,947 --> 00:27:07,116
Gomez, how do you do it?
440
00:27:07,117 --> 00:27:09,744
How can I be like you?
441
00:27:09,745 --> 00:27:12,205
How can I be suave?
442
00:27:12,206 --> 00:27:13,915
Woo her, admire her.
443
00:27:13,916 --> 00:27:19,128
Make her feel like she's the
most sublime creature on earth.
444
00:27:19,129 --> 00:27:21,381
Yes. That's it?
445
00:27:21,799 --> 00:27:23,466
We're back.
446
00:27:23,467 --> 00:27:25,719
Noses powdered.
447
00:27:28,931 --> 00:27:31,600
Perfection achieved.
448
00:27:32,810 --> 00:27:35,895
We are the luckiest
brothers on earth.
449
00:27:35,896 --> 00:27:39,065
We are unworthy
of such splendor,
450
00:27:39,066 --> 00:27:42,528
undeserving
of such radiance.
451
00:27:47,116 --> 00:27:48,199
That's right.
452
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:52,079
We should have
ugly girls.
453
00:30:39,788 --> 00:30:42,581
And then the ghost said,
454
00:30:42,582 --> 00:30:46,252
"And I will haunt you
forever."
455
00:30:48,130 --> 00:30:52,301
Wednesday, you have to
continue the ghost story.
456
00:30:52,384 --> 00:30:53,259
This is dumb.
457
00:30:53,260 --> 00:30:55,971
Well, if you can't do it...
458
00:31:01,685 --> 00:31:03,311
And so the next night,
459
00:31:03,312 --> 00:31:06,564
the ghost returned
to the haunted cabin,
460
00:31:06,565 --> 00:31:08,816
and he said to the campers,
461
00:31:08,817 --> 00:31:11,652
"None of you really
believe in me,
462
00:31:11,653 --> 00:31:14,656
"so I'll have to prove
my power."
463
00:31:14,740 --> 00:31:19,328
And the next morning,
when the campers woke up,
464
00:31:19,828 --> 00:31:23,789
all of their old noses
had grown back.
465
00:31:46,688 --> 00:31:50,275
Oh, Fester,
how you must hate me.
466
00:31:50,859 --> 00:31:52,194
What?
467
00:31:52,736 --> 00:31:57,448
Here you are,
a debonair man of the world.
468
00:31:57,449 --> 00:31:59,950
How I must bore you.
469
00:31:59,951 --> 00:32:01,828
Oh, never.
470
00:32:02,412 --> 00:32:06,707
Fester, before we go
any further,
471
00:32:06,708 --> 00:32:08,376
I have a confession,
472
00:32:08,377 --> 00:32:11,046
something I must tell you.
473
00:32:14,633 --> 00:32:16,717
I'm a virgin.
474
00:32:16,718 --> 00:32:18,969
- You are?
- Yes.
475
00:32:18,970 --> 00:32:20,847
What's that?
476
00:32:21,556 --> 00:32:26,561
It-it's someone
who's never experienced
477
00:32:26,978 --> 00:32:28,939
physical love.
478
00:32:29,106 --> 00:32:31,273
Oh...
479
00:32:31,274 --> 00:32:33,735
You mean,
with another person.
480
00:32:35,654 --> 00:32:40,409
Then, Debbie,
I have a confession to make as well.
481
00:32:40,742 --> 00:32:42,661
I'm one, too.
482
00:32:42,911 --> 00:32:44,829
You? You?
483
00:32:44,830 --> 00:32:45,788
Yes.
484
00:32:45,789 --> 00:32:48,624
But with your looks,
your charm,
485
00:32:48,625 --> 00:32:51,085
women must follow you
everywhere.
486
00:32:51,086 --> 00:32:53,255
Store detectives.
487
00:32:53,505 --> 00:32:54,713
Oh, Fester.
488
00:32:54,714 --> 00:32:59,970
I always dreamed of meeting
someone untouched,
489
00:33:00,053 --> 00:33:01,595
someone pure,
490
00:33:01,596 --> 00:33:04,932
someone just like you.
491
00:33:04,933 --> 00:33:06,684
You'll meet him.
492
00:33:06,685 --> 00:33:11,147
And... And I dreamed
that when I met him,
493
00:33:11,148 --> 00:33:15,109
that we would wait
until our wedding night
494
00:33:15,110 --> 00:33:17,236
to give ourselves
to one another,
495
00:33:17,237 --> 00:33:21,158
to make
the ultimate sacrifice.
496
00:33:21,783 --> 00:33:23,285
A goat?
497
00:33:23,869 --> 00:33:27,371
Until now I thought
it was impossible.
498
00:33:27,372 --> 00:33:29,749
But, Fester Addams,
499
00:33:29,833 --> 00:33:31,793
I love you.
500
00:33:33,295 --> 00:33:34,128
You do?
501
00:33:34,129 --> 00:33:37,883
Please, be brutally honest.
I have to know how you feel about me.
502
00:33:38,884 --> 00:33:40,634
I love you.
503
00:33:40,635 --> 00:33:44,638
I worship you.
I'd do anything for you.
504
00:33:44,639 --> 00:33:46,308
I'd pay.
505
00:33:46,641 --> 00:33:48,017
Fester!
506
00:33:48,018 --> 00:33:49,478
Debbie!
507
00:33:59,946 --> 00:34:01,572
Look at him.
508
00:34:01,573 --> 00:34:03,366
So peaceful.
509
00:34:03,992 --> 00:34:07,453
This evening as I watched
Fester and Debbie,
510
00:34:07,454 --> 00:34:10,080
I kept my fingers crossed.
511
00:34:10,081 --> 00:34:12,249
- I hoped.
- I prayed.
512
00:34:12,250 --> 00:34:13,667
Let them fall in love.
513
00:34:13,668 --> 00:34:15,711
Let them know happiness.
514
00:34:15,712 --> 00:34:17,297
Let them adopt.
515
00:34:17,506 --> 00:34:21,258
Gomez, Morticia,
great news.
516
00:34:21,259 --> 00:34:24,345
Something impossible,
a miracle.
517
00:34:24,346 --> 00:34:26,640
- The rash!
- It's gone.
518
00:34:26,890 --> 00:34:29,184
I'm engaged.
519
00:34:32,437 --> 00:34:35,231
- That ring.
- It was our mother's.
520
00:34:35,232 --> 00:34:37,067
She was buried with it.
521
00:34:46,785 --> 00:34:47,618
Mail call!
522
00:34:47,619 --> 00:34:50,162
- Addams.
- Barkley, Castleman,
523
00:34:50,163 --> 00:34:53,415
Calloway, Dexter, Donman,
524
00:34:53,416 --> 00:34:55,334
Edwards, Evans,
525
00:34:55,335 --> 00:34:58,921
Finley, Fisher,
Framingham...
526
00:34:58,922 --> 00:35:00,839
- Oh, no.
- What is it?
527
00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:02,007
This is
unspeakable.
528
00:35:02,008 --> 00:35:04,218
Is something wrong,
Wednesday?
529
00:35:04,219 --> 00:35:05,094
Bad news?
530
00:35:05,095 --> 00:35:06,971
This is the worst thing
that has ever happened
531
00:35:06,972 --> 00:35:09,223
in the history
of human events.
532
00:35:09,224 --> 00:35:11,141
Uncle Fester
is getting married.
533
00:35:11,142 --> 00:35:14,520
A wedding?
But that's great news.
534
00:35:14,521 --> 00:35:15,521
To whom?
535
00:35:15,522 --> 00:35:16,564
The nanny.
536
00:35:16,565 --> 00:35:17,940
Get out of the cabin.
537
00:35:17,941 --> 00:35:21,318
I mean, I'll kill myself.
The help?
538
00:35:21,319 --> 00:35:24,488
I'm sure she's
a very nice lady.
539
00:35:24,489 --> 00:35:25,698
I think that's disgusting.
540
00:35:25,699 --> 00:35:29,743
I think their whole family's like
some weird medical experiment.
541
00:35:29,744 --> 00:35:32,871
I think they're like
circus people.
542
00:35:32,872 --> 00:35:35,792
- What did you say?
- Tempers!
543
00:35:36,209 --> 00:35:37,919
Group hug.
544
00:35:44,134 --> 00:35:45,802
Wednesday,
545
00:35:47,679 --> 00:35:49,264
Pugsley,
546
00:35:50,390 --> 00:35:52,182
will a hug hurt us?
547
00:35:52,183 --> 00:35:53,267
We don't hug.
548
00:35:53,268 --> 00:35:55,853
Oh! They're
just shy.
549
00:35:55,854 --> 00:35:59,274
- We're not shy.
- We're contagious.
550
00:36:01,067 --> 00:36:04,653
I'm sensing
some friction here,
551
00:36:04,654 --> 00:36:06,989
something not
quite Chippewa.
552
00:36:07,866 --> 00:36:08,741
But, hey, no problemo.
553
00:36:08,742 --> 00:36:12,536
All they need are
good friends, good fun and
554
00:36:12,537 --> 00:36:15,540
a little time
in the harmony hut.
555
00:36:18,293 --> 00:36:21,630
How long
do we have to stay in here?
556
00:36:21,671 --> 00:36:23,673
Until we crack.
557
00:36:26,301 --> 00:36:27,927
Have fun.
558
00:36:28,720 --> 00:36:30,095
What are you in for?
559
00:36:30,096 --> 00:36:33,182
I wouldn't go
horseback riding.
560
00:36:33,183 --> 00:36:34,642
That's all?
561
00:36:34,643 --> 00:36:38,062
And I wouldn't make
a bird house.
562
00:36:38,063 --> 00:36:39,188
Why not?
563
00:36:39,189 --> 00:36:40,814
I just wanted to read.
564
00:36:40,815 --> 00:36:43,275
Not on my time,
four eyes.
565
00:36:55,038 --> 00:36:55,913
Hurry up.
566
00:36:55,914 --> 00:36:57,999
I'm coming.
567
00:36:58,750 --> 00:37:00,334
- Wait.
- Who's there?
568
00:37:00,335 --> 00:37:03,212
Be careful. Tetanus.
569
00:37:03,755 --> 00:37:07,049
There they are! I saw them sneak out.
570
00:37:11,471 --> 00:37:13,305
Children,
what do you think you're doing?
571
00:37:13,306 --> 00:37:16,975
We have to see our family.
It's very important.
572
00:37:16,976 --> 00:37:19,520
More important
than a summer of fun?
573
00:37:19,521 --> 00:37:21,980
More important
than making new friends?
574
00:37:21,981 --> 00:37:23,857
More important
than sharing?
575
00:37:23,858 --> 00:37:28,154
And, Joel Glicker,
I'm surprised at you.
576
00:37:28,321 --> 00:37:31,448
I-I have to get out of here.
I have allergies.
577
00:37:31,449 --> 00:37:33,033
Oh, you're allergic?
578
00:37:33,034 --> 00:37:36,161
To sunshine
and archery and crafts?
579
00:37:36,162 --> 00:37:36,829
Yes.
580
00:37:36,830 --> 00:37:39,331
I think
they should be punished.
581
00:37:39,332 --> 00:37:39,832
Punished!
582
00:37:39,833 --> 00:37:41,792
Punished! Punished!
583
00:37:41,793 --> 00:37:44,670
Punished! Punished!
584
00:37:44,671 --> 00:37:47,631
No! No!
We are not here to punish.
585
00:37:47,632 --> 00:37:49,675
We are here to inspire.
586
00:37:49,676 --> 00:37:51,802
Campers,
do you know what I think
587
00:37:51,803 --> 00:37:53,512
our little ninja friends
here need?
588
00:37:53,513 --> 00:37:55,347
Do you know what just
might turn their sad
589
00:37:55,348 --> 00:37:58,727
and potentially wasted
little lives right on around?
590
00:37:59,561 --> 00:38:00,937
What?
591
00:38:02,021 --> 00:38:06,401
# Kumbaya, my Lord
592
00:38:06,484 --> 00:38:09,070
# Kumbaya
593
00:38:09,362 --> 00:38:12,406
# Kumbaya, my Lord
594
00:38:12,407 --> 00:38:15,243
# Kumbaya
595
00:38:15,577 --> 00:38:18,746
# Kumbaya, my Lord
596
00:38:18,747 --> 00:38:21,123
# Kumbaya
597
00:38:21,124 --> 00:38:25,295
# Oh Lord, kumbaya #
598
00:38:31,926 --> 00:38:34,386
Now, Debbie,
have you met everyone?
599
00:38:34,387 --> 00:38:37,640
- Morticia.
- Margaret.
600
00:38:38,641 --> 00:38:41,518
Margaret, this is
our bride-to-be.
601
00:38:41,519 --> 00:38:42,436
Welcome to our family.
602
00:38:42,437 --> 00:38:47,232
I can't tell you what it's meant
to me joining the Addams clan.
603
00:38:47,233 --> 00:38:50,235
Have you met my husband,
Cousin Itt?
604
00:38:50,236 --> 00:38:51,737
Cousin Itt?
605
00:38:51,738 --> 00:38:52,946
We've been so happy.
606
00:38:52,947 --> 00:38:55,282
And just as little
Pubert arrived,
607
00:38:55,283 --> 00:39:00,872
we were blessed with our
own little bundle of joy.
608
00:39:07,003 --> 00:39:08,045
What.
609
00:39:08,046 --> 00:39:09,296
Oh, I didn't say anything.
610
00:39:09,297 --> 00:39:13,258
No, that's the baby's
nickname, What.
611
00:39:13,259 --> 00:39:15,427
From the obstetrician.
612
00:39:15,428 --> 00:39:17,387
Isn't he precious?
613
00:39:17,388 --> 00:39:18,555
We've had offers.
614
00:39:18,556 --> 00:39:22,893
# For he's a jolly good fellow
615
00:39:22,894 --> 00:39:26,898
# Which nobody can deny #
616
00:39:27,232 --> 00:39:30,609
You guys are
the best bunch of friends
617
00:39:30,610 --> 00:39:32,528
a fellow could hope for.
618
00:39:33,571 --> 00:39:34,947
What a party!
619
00:39:34,948 --> 00:39:39,618
And now,
for the piece de resistance!
620
00:39:45,583 --> 00:39:47,335
Ta-da!
621
00:39:55,468 --> 00:39:57,804
Ta-da!
622
00:40:11,025 --> 00:40:12,526
That poor girl.
623
00:40:12,527 --> 00:40:17,072
Lurch, was she in there
before you baked?
624
00:40:25,373 --> 00:40:27,041
C'est la vie.
625
00:40:32,088 --> 00:40:33,755
Are you
really allergic?
626
00:40:33,756 --> 00:40:36,885
Uh-huh.
To almost everything.
627
00:40:37,093 --> 00:40:39,761
- No, you're not.
- Am, too.
628
00:40:39,762 --> 00:40:43,140
I can't have dairy products,
or wear wool,
629
00:40:43,141 --> 00:40:45,142
or drink
fluoridated water.
630
00:40:45,143 --> 00:40:49,480
Do you know what happens if
my mom uses a fabric softener?
631
00:40:49,939 --> 00:40:51,315
What?
632
00:40:51,316 --> 00:40:52,859
I die.
633
00:41:03,453 --> 00:41:04,786
Where are you?
634
00:41:04,787 --> 00:41:06,121
Over here.
635
00:41:06,122 --> 00:41:06,872
Where?
636
00:41:06,873 --> 00:41:08,458
By the skeleton.
637
00:41:12,670 --> 00:41:15,672
I-I got your message
inside my cutlet.
638
00:41:15,673 --> 00:41:18,133
I need to ask you
something.
639
00:41:18,134 --> 00:41:18,634
What?
640
00:41:18,635 --> 00:41:22,055
Do you believe
in the existence of evil?
641
00:41:22,472 --> 00:41:24,139
Well, did you meet my mom?
642
00:41:24,140 --> 00:41:30,687
My uncle Fester's about to get married
to this woman in a white uniform.
643
00:41:30,688 --> 00:41:32,230
A radiologist.
644
00:41:32,231 --> 00:41:32,981
A nanny.
645
00:41:32,982 --> 00:41:34,733
But I have to go
to the wedding.
646
00:41:34,734 --> 00:41:38,738
I have a pass.
Do you want to come?
647
00:41:39,447 --> 00:41:42,324
You mean, like, on a date?
648
00:41:42,325 --> 00:41:43,576
No.
649
00:41:43,993 --> 00:41:45,453
I'd love to.
650
00:42:52,895 --> 00:42:56,106
I, Fester Addams,
651
00:42:56,107 --> 00:43:00,695
do hereby declare
my unending love.
652
00:43:02,905 --> 00:43:05,700
I will worship you forever.
653
00:43:07,118 --> 00:43:08,785
I will devote
654
00:43:08,786 --> 00:43:12,914
my every waking moment
655
00:43:12,915 --> 00:43:15,250
to your happiness alone.
656
00:43:18,337 --> 00:43:19,087
Oh!
657
00:43:19,088 --> 00:43:22,632
Henceforth,
I am your eternal
658
00:43:22,633 --> 00:43:24,886
and helpless slave.
659
00:43:27,764 --> 00:43:29,265
Nice.
660
00:43:31,225 --> 00:43:32,559
Ditto.
661
00:43:45,573 --> 00:43:48,950
You're going to have
a wonderful life together.
662
00:43:48,951 --> 00:43:50,202
Yes, I am.
663
00:43:50,203 --> 00:43:54,372
Come, darling,
let's see who's the next happy bride.
664
00:43:54,373 --> 00:43:55,499
Come on!
665
00:43:55,500 --> 00:43:56,875
Here, Debbie!
666
00:43:56,876 --> 00:43:58,085
To me!
667
00:43:58,086 --> 00:43:59,086
To me! Me!
668
00:43:59,087 --> 00:44:00,378
- I have it!
- No, I have it!
669
00:44:00,379 --> 00:44:04,258
- No! I have it!
- It's mine! I got it!
670
00:44:05,343 --> 00:44:07,385
Now you have
to get married.
671
00:44:07,386 --> 00:44:10,056
- It's not binding.
- Tramp.
672
00:44:10,306 --> 00:44:11,681
Bye!
673
00:44:11,682 --> 00:44:13,266
Congratulations!
674
00:44:13,267 --> 00:44:14,643
Congratulations!
675
00:44:14,644 --> 00:44:16,521
Bon voyage!
676
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:32,911
The key ingredient
677
00:44:32,912 --> 00:44:36,248
to a successful
Hawaiian honeymoon
678
00:44:36,249 --> 00:44:39,251
is romantic music.
679
00:44:42,338 --> 00:44:45,841
I ordered this cassette
from Time Life.
680
00:44:45,842 --> 00:44:50,762
5,000 of the world's
most romantic melodies.
681
00:44:50,763 --> 00:44:52,848
It's superb.
682
00:44:52,849 --> 00:44:54,474
What do you call this?
683
00:44:54,475 --> 00:44:56,686
Number 438.
684
00:44:57,019 --> 00:45:01,149
So, do you like
romantic living?
685
00:45:01,274 --> 00:45:03,525
I do, so far.
686
00:45:03,526 --> 00:45:05,235
I love romantic living.
687
00:45:05,236 --> 00:45:08,780
Oh, Fester,
how much do you love me?
688
00:45:08,781 --> 00:45:10,157
With all my soul.
689
00:45:10,158 --> 00:45:12,450
Would you do anything for me?
690
00:45:12,451 --> 00:45:13,451
Anything.
691
00:45:13,452 --> 00:45:15,662
Would you die for me?
692
00:45:15,663 --> 00:45:16,831
Yes.
693
00:45:17,623 --> 00:45:19,167
Promise?
694
00:45:32,180 --> 00:45:33,890
Pumpkin?
695
00:45:36,893 --> 00:45:39,061
Muffin.
696
00:45:44,942 --> 00:45:49,154
Darling,
I know you're nervous.
697
00:45:49,155 --> 00:45:51,239
So am I.
698
00:45:51,240 --> 00:45:54,659
I'm not nervous.
I'm upset.
699
00:45:54,660 --> 00:45:57,788
Because of the bathtub?
700
00:46:00,499 --> 00:46:02,375
That was an accident.
701
00:46:02,376 --> 00:46:03,418
I know.
702
00:46:03,419 --> 00:46:05,212
- I'm fine.
- I know.
703
00:46:05,213 --> 00:46:07,714
Don't give it
another thought.
704
00:46:07,715 --> 00:46:13,429
Don't be frightened.
This is as new to me as it is to you.
705
00:46:14,847 --> 00:46:17,767
Have you really
never had sex?
706
00:46:18,100 --> 00:46:19,392
Never.
707
00:46:19,393 --> 00:46:21,645
Well, then how do you know
we're not having it right now?
708
00:46:21,646 --> 00:46:26,233
Sweetheart, we'll be just
like Gomez and Morticia.
709
00:46:26,234 --> 00:46:28,777
Pretend we're at home
in my room,
710
00:46:28,778 --> 00:46:32,781
Granny down the hallway,
Lurch by the door.
711
00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:35,075
Oh, my God.
712
00:46:35,076 --> 00:46:39,038
Please, what is it?
What do you need?
713
00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:46,754
Only you, my dearest.
714
00:46:50,049 --> 00:46:51,633
Really?
715
00:46:51,634 --> 00:46:54,302
Fester, I'm ready.
716
00:46:55,471 --> 00:46:56,805
Just one thing.
717
00:46:56,806 --> 00:46:58,765
Gomez told me.
No giggling.
718
00:46:58,766 --> 00:47:00,517
- And?
- No hand puppets.
719
00:47:00,518 --> 00:47:01,309
- And?
- What?
720
00:47:01,310 --> 00:47:06,065
After we've made love,
you can never see your family again.
721
00:47:07,900 --> 00:47:08,400
What?
722
00:47:08,401 --> 00:47:11,736
Otherwise,
I could never really enjoy myself.
723
00:47:11,737 --> 00:47:15,824
I could never
give myself completely.
724
00:47:15,825 --> 00:47:18,493
Unless I never see
my family again?
725
00:47:18,494 --> 00:47:21,496
Yes. If I picture them
in our lives,
726
00:47:21,497 --> 00:47:25,710
I could never achieve,
you know.
727
00:47:27,503 --> 00:47:28,712
Never?
728
00:47:28,713 --> 00:47:30,630
Don't you love me?
729
00:47:30,631 --> 00:47:31,631
Of course.
730
00:47:31,632 --> 00:47:33,466
Don't you want me?
731
00:47:33,467 --> 00:47:34,802
Yes.
732
00:47:37,346 --> 00:47:38,806
Never?
733
00:47:41,142 --> 00:47:42,601
Stud.
734
00:47:59,535 --> 00:48:03,246
It's so odd we haven't
heard from Fester and Debbie.
735
00:48:03,247 --> 00:48:04,831
It's been almost a week.
736
00:48:04,832 --> 00:48:06,541
Hasn't it, little fellow?
737
00:48:07,668 --> 00:48:08,835
Look at him.
738
00:48:08,836 --> 00:48:11,756
Too much fun
at that reception.
739
00:48:17,303 --> 00:48:19,180
Hair of the pup.
740
00:48:23,768 --> 00:48:25,894
Excellent, Amanda!
741
00:48:25,895 --> 00:48:27,897
Thank you.
742
00:48:27,980 --> 00:48:29,440
Next!
743
00:48:31,734 --> 00:48:33,526
"Dear Wednesday
and Pugsley,
744
00:48:33,527 --> 00:48:37,865
"I love you dearly but I
can never see you again."
745
00:48:38,657 --> 00:48:40,826
Glicker, go!
746
00:48:41,452 --> 00:48:43,204
Good try!
747
00:48:45,414 --> 00:48:47,707
"When you are grown up
and very lonely,
748
00:48:47,708 --> 00:48:52,254
"you will understand.
Love, Uncle Fester."
749
00:48:53,297 --> 00:48:55,383
He's a dead man.
750
00:48:55,591 --> 00:48:57,051
Go!
751
00:49:03,265 --> 00:49:06,684
It's an American
bald eagle!
752
00:49:06,685 --> 00:49:08,561
But aren't they extinct?
753
00:49:08,562 --> 00:49:10,189
They are now.
754
00:49:13,734 --> 00:49:15,443
- Mrs. Addams?
- Yes?
755
00:49:15,444 --> 00:49:17,445
Your hearse, ma'am.
Where's the body?
756
00:49:17,446 --> 00:49:20,365
- He's right there.
- But he's alive.
757
00:49:20,366 --> 00:49:22,034
Tell me about it!
758
00:49:30,251 --> 00:49:33,378
Fester, we may be together
for a while.
759
00:49:33,379 --> 00:49:36,005
All our lives,cara mia.
760
00:49:36,006 --> 00:49:37,298
- What?
- Mon cher.
761
00:49:37,299 --> 00:49:38,758
- Speak English.
- Pumpkin.
762
00:49:38,759 --> 00:49:43,514
And if I have to be seen with
you, we need to make some changes.
763
00:49:43,722 --> 00:49:45,266
Changes?
764
00:49:58,446 --> 00:50:01,239
Be careful!
It's a credenza!
765
00:50:01,240 --> 00:50:04,993
These are beautiful things.
They're from catalogs.
766
00:50:05,953 --> 00:50:08,956
Fester, get over here!
767
00:50:12,960 --> 00:50:13,377
It itches.
768
00:50:13,378 --> 00:50:15,336
Don't touch it,
not until the scab falls off.
769
00:50:15,337 --> 00:50:19,507
Pumpkin, do you think
these clothes are really me?
770
00:50:19,508 --> 00:50:20,925
Of course not.
That's the point.
771
00:50:20,926 --> 00:50:22,343
Ma'am, where do you
want this thing?
772
00:50:22,344 --> 00:50:24,387
The second floor
boudoir.
773
00:50:24,388 --> 00:50:25,305
And be careful.
774
00:50:25,306 --> 00:50:27,682
- I'm her husband.
- Fester!
775
00:50:27,683 --> 00:50:28,975
Give me a kiss.
776
00:50:28,976 --> 00:50:29,934
Give me a 20.
777
00:50:29,935 --> 00:50:31,269
Watch it!
778
00:50:31,270 --> 00:50:35,316
That's a Queen Anne
chandelier!
779
00:50:35,691 --> 00:50:37,400
"Hawaii is wonderful.
780
00:50:37,401 --> 00:50:42,739
"I wish you were here
and I can never see you again!
781
00:50:42,740 --> 00:50:45,366
"PS, Debbie says hi."
782
00:50:45,367 --> 00:50:46,826
I don't understand.
783
00:50:46,827 --> 00:50:49,996
For weeks not a word,
and now this.
784
00:50:49,997 --> 00:50:51,873
Darling, come to bed.
785
00:50:51,874 --> 00:50:52,832
He can't be serious.
786
00:50:52,833 --> 00:50:55,752
Have I done something,
said something?
787
00:50:55,753 --> 00:50:58,171
Why does my brother
despise me?
788
00:50:58,172 --> 00:50:59,172
He adores you.
789
00:50:59,173 --> 00:51:00,632
I'd do anything for him.
790
00:51:00,633 --> 00:51:04,302
At his request,
I would rip out my eyes.
791
00:51:04,303 --> 00:51:08,389
At his command,
I would crawl on my belly
792
00:51:08,390 --> 00:51:11,809
through hot coals
and broken glass.
793
00:51:11,810 --> 00:51:12,894
Why wait?
794
00:51:12,895 --> 00:51:14,437
Has Fester gone mad?
795
00:51:14,438 --> 00:51:17,148
This is all just
some sort of phase.
796
00:51:17,149 --> 00:51:21,237
Post-honeymoon malaise.
It's very common.
797
00:51:21,946 --> 00:51:24,698
Do you remember
our honeymoon?
798
00:51:25,074 --> 00:51:27,492
That glorious cruise.
799
00:51:27,493 --> 00:51:29,035
No calls.
800
00:51:29,036 --> 00:51:30,870
No cares.
801
00:51:30,871 --> 00:51:32,706
No survivors.
802
00:51:34,124 --> 00:51:35,875
Cara mia.
803
00:51:35,876 --> 00:51:41,047
So, you still desire me
after all these years?
804
00:51:41,048 --> 00:51:43,258
The old ball and chain?
805
00:51:43,259 --> 00:51:44,593
Forever.
806
00:51:45,302 --> 00:51:47,304
I'll get them.
807
00:51:49,473 --> 00:51:50,098
Heads up, campers!
808
00:51:50,099 --> 00:51:53,935
Jamboree's only two weeks away,
and you know what that means.
809
00:51:53,936 --> 00:51:55,353
Clean cabins.
810
00:51:55,354 --> 00:51:56,312
Creating with clay.
811
00:51:56,313 --> 00:51:58,565
And canoes,
canoes, canoes!
812
00:51:58,566 --> 00:52:02,068
So we better get cracking, huh?
'Cause it's gonna be one...
813
00:52:02,069 --> 00:52:05,530
Look at this.
I got them.
814
00:52:05,531 --> 00:52:08,116
Schizos and serial killers.
815
00:52:08,117 --> 00:52:09,492
I have almost
the whole series.
816
00:52:09,493 --> 00:52:13,746
I'm only missing Jack the
Ripper and that Zodiac guy.
817
00:52:13,747 --> 00:52:15,039
But look.
818
00:52:15,040 --> 00:52:16,624
"The Black Widow."
819
00:52:16,625 --> 00:52:18,960
It might be Debbie.
820
00:52:18,961 --> 00:52:24,090
At least three
rich husbands, all dead.
821
00:52:24,091 --> 00:52:26,927
- I'll trade you.
- For what?
822
00:52:29,513 --> 00:52:30,638
Amy Fisher.
823
00:52:30,639 --> 00:52:35,893
Each year, we conclude our summer
with a very special presentation.
824
00:52:35,894 --> 00:52:38,396
Book, music
and lyrics by...
825
00:52:38,397 --> 00:52:40,316
Gary Granger!
826
00:52:40,983 --> 00:52:45,778
And this year, the old bean has come
up with something pretty exciting.
827
00:52:45,779 --> 00:52:49,657
My own personal salute
to the first Thanksgiving.
828
00:52:49,658 --> 00:52:52,785
Now we have thought
long and hard
829
00:52:52,786 --> 00:52:56,039
about choosing
just the right little actress
830
00:52:56,040 --> 00:52:58,166
for the leading role
of Sarah Miller,
831
00:52:58,167 --> 00:53:01,754
our beautiful
and kindly pilgrim lady.
832
00:53:01,837 --> 00:53:04,965
And we have selected
833
00:53:07,009 --> 00:53:08,593
Amanda Buckman!
834
00:53:10,012 --> 00:53:13,557
And in the roles
of her pilgrim pals,
835
00:53:13,599 --> 00:53:18,228
Lily, Jennifer, Tiffany,
Missy, Michelle and Melissa!
836
00:53:19,688 --> 00:53:24,692
But, of course,
not everyone can be a star.
837
00:53:24,693 --> 00:53:25,027
No.
838
00:53:25,028 --> 00:53:28,655
Let's not forget
our cheery, little Chippewas,
839
00:53:28,656 --> 00:53:31,867
Mordecai, Yang,
840
00:53:32,076 --> 00:53:33,534
Esther,
841
00:53:33,535 --> 00:53:35,329
um...
842
00:53:35,412 --> 00:53:39,124
Consuela, Irwin
843
00:53:39,208 --> 00:53:40,333
and, um...
844
00:53:40,334 --> 00:53:44,003
I'm still not sure just
how to pronounce this.
845
00:53:44,004 --> 00:53:46,339
Jamil? Jamel?
846
00:53:46,340 --> 00:53:47,882
Jamal.
847
00:53:47,883 --> 00:53:49,175
Whatever.
848
00:53:49,176 --> 00:53:51,260
And as their leader
in the secondary,
849
00:53:51,261 --> 00:53:55,598
but still compellingly
written role of Pocahontas,
850
00:53:55,599 --> 00:53:57,350
guess who we have
in mind?
851
00:53:57,351 --> 00:54:01,563
Our own little
brunette outcast,
852
00:54:01,980 --> 00:54:04,358
Wednesday Addams.
853
00:54:17,830 --> 00:54:21,166
We want to see
Debbie and Fester.
854
00:54:22,793 --> 00:54:24,919
Miss Debbie!
855
00:54:24,920 --> 00:54:26,547
Debra!
856
00:54:28,465 --> 00:54:30,675
Gomez, where are we?
857
00:54:30,676 --> 00:54:32,552
It looks familiar.
858
00:54:32,553 --> 00:54:36,390
Of course,
the gates of hell.
859
00:54:37,141 --> 00:54:39,058
Welcome to my home.
860
00:54:39,059 --> 00:54:40,143
Might we see
my brother?
861
00:54:40,144 --> 00:54:44,440
No. He doesn't want to see
you, any of you or that.
862
00:54:45,941 --> 00:54:46,899
Why not?
863
00:54:46,900 --> 00:54:47,775
Because he's in love.
864
00:54:47,776 --> 00:54:51,571
He's wrapped in a gossamer
blanket of ecstasy,
865
00:54:51,572 --> 00:54:53,406
and he hates your guts.
866
00:54:53,407 --> 00:54:53,824
But why?
867
00:54:53,825 --> 00:54:58,536
Because you flaunted yourselves,
your great love affair.
868
00:54:58,537 --> 00:55:02,498
You kept him a child.
I've made him a man.
869
00:55:02,499 --> 00:55:05,376
Let me hear this
from his own lips.
870
00:55:05,377 --> 00:55:07,462
His lips are busy.
871
00:55:07,463 --> 00:55:11,842
- You want to talk to these people?
- Debbie.
872
00:55:16,346 --> 00:55:17,221
Go away!
873
00:55:17,222 --> 00:55:19,140
That is not my brother!
874
00:55:19,141 --> 00:55:21,350
- Sorry.
- You have enslaved him.
875
00:55:21,351 --> 00:55:25,813
You have placed Fester under
some strange sexual spell.
876
00:55:25,814 --> 00:55:27,023
I respect that.
877
00:55:27,024 --> 00:55:29,358
But, please,
may we see him?
878
00:55:29,359 --> 00:55:31,235
Don't even think about it.
879
00:55:31,236 --> 00:55:32,153
You have gone too far.
880
00:55:32,154 --> 00:55:36,199
You have married Fester,
you have destroyed his spirit,
881
00:55:36,200 --> 00:55:37,784
you have taken him from us.
882
00:55:37,785 --> 00:55:42,246
All that I could forgive,
but, Debbie...
883
00:55:42,247 --> 00:55:43,624
What?
884
00:55:44,124 --> 00:55:45,750
Pastels?
885
00:55:45,751 --> 00:55:47,752
Get out of my house!
886
00:55:47,753 --> 00:55:48,419
Hit the road!
887
00:55:48,420 --> 00:55:52,381
And if you ever show
your faces around here again,
888
00:55:52,382 --> 00:55:56,844
I'll have you locked up
for trying to visit.
889
00:55:56,845 --> 00:55:57,929
Right, Fessie?
890
00:55:57,930 --> 00:55:59,473
Right!
891
00:56:08,106 --> 00:56:13,277
Luxor, nexor,
burst and burn!
892
00:56:13,278 --> 00:56:13,945
What is she doing?
893
00:56:13,946 --> 00:56:17,699
Just a curse.
Have a nice day.
894
00:56:22,120 --> 00:56:24,080
I demand justice!
895
00:56:24,081 --> 00:56:26,874
Someone has married
my brother.
896
00:56:26,875 --> 00:56:27,625
No.
897
00:56:27,626 --> 00:56:29,168
She took him to Hawaii.
898
00:56:29,169 --> 00:56:29,710
Get out of here.
899
00:56:29,711 --> 00:56:32,588
They have moved into a large,
expensive home
900
00:56:32,589 --> 00:56:35,299
where they make love
constantly.
901
00:56:35,300 --> 00:56:36,843
I hate when that happens.
902
00:56:36,844 --> 00:56:38,970
Arrest her at once
without delay.
903
00:56:38,971 --> 00:56:40,179
- Who?
- Debbie.
904
00:56:40,180 --> 00:56:44,642
My brother's wife,
the temptress of Waikiki.
905
00:56:44,643 --> 00:56:47,979
Who are you? What are you?
Who moved the rock?
906
00:56:47,980 --> 00:56:53,401
Officer, you must issue a subpoena.
I believe they own...
907
00:56:53,402 --> 00:56:55,069
- Gomez, no!
- ...A Buick!
908
00:56:55,070 --> 00:56:57,989
Just leave.
Leave quietly. Leave now.
909
00:56:57,990 --> 00:57:01,618
Don't make me call
Ringling Brothers.
910
00:57:01,994 --> 00:57:05,204
Has the planet
gone mad?
911
00:57:05,205 --> 00:57:07,999
My brother,
passion's hostage!
912
00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:10,043
I seek justice!
913
00:57:10,085 --> 00:57:11,545
Denied!
914
00:57:11,628 --> 00:57:15,423
I shall not submit!
I shall conquer! I shall rise!
915
00:57:15,424 --> 00:57:21,054
My name is Gomez Addams,
and I have seen evil!
916
00:57:21,471 --> 00:57:24,307
I have seen horror!
917
00:57:25,809 --> 00:57:28,311
I have seen
the unholy maggots
918
00:57:28,312 --> 00:57:31,480
which feast
in the dark recesses
919
00:57:31,481 --> 00:57:33,983
of the human soul!
920
00:57:33,984 --> 00:57:35,318
They're at camp.
921
00:57:35,319 --> 00:57:37,820
I have seen
all this, Officer.
922
00:57:37,821 --> 00:57:43,410
But until today,
I had never seen
923
00:57:45,329 --> 00:57:46,663
you!
924
00:57:46,747 --> 00:57:50,709
Hook him, book him,
cook him. Now!
925
00:57:51,460 --> 00:57:53,002
Next in line.
926
00:57:53,003 --> 00:57:55,755
Yes, I'd like to renew
my passport, please.
927
00:57:55,756 --> 00:57:58,215
I'll be leaving the country
very shortly.
928
00:57:58,216 --> 00:57:59,675
Will you be
traveling alone?
929
00:57:59,676 --> 00:58:01,386
Yes. I'll be a widow.
930
00:58:06,808 --> 00:58:09,352
# Happy, happy turkey day
931
00:58:09,353 --> 00:58:11,145
# Hunger pains will go away
932
00:58:11,146 --> 00:58:13,272
# When you hear
the pilgrims say
933
00:58:13,273 --> 00:58:15,358
# It's happy turkey day
934
00:58:15,359 --> 00:58:17,026
# Happy, happy turkey day
935
00:58:17,027 --> 00:58:19,236
# Let's all eat
the Indian way
936
00:58:19,237 --> 00:58:21,405
# As Bastille
and Cape Cod day
937
00:58:21,406 --> 00:58:24,158
# On happy turkey day #
938
00:58:25,035 --> 00:58:26,035
Look at you.
939
00:58:26,036 --> 00:58:29,163
Oh, Amanda,
you look perfect!
940
00:58:29,706 --> 00:58:33,417
You're just the prettiest
pilgrim I've ever seen!
941
00:58:33,418 --> 00:58:36,545
Gar, come
and take a look at this.
942
00:58:36,546 --> 00:58:37,213
Here they are!
943
00:58:37,214 --> 00:58:39,340
We caught them
by the pay phone.
944
00:58:39,341 --> 00:58:40,424
We were calling the FBI.
945
00:58:40,425 --> 00:58:43,094
Their uncle is in trouble.
We were running a check.
946
00:58:43,095 --> 00:58:44,971
And you are late
for your fittings.
947
00:58:44,972 --> 00:58:46,514
I don't want to be
in the pageant.
948
00:58:46,515 --> 00:58:49,183
Don't you wanna help me
realize my vision?
949
00:58:49,184 --> 00:58:51,352
Your work is puerile
and under-dramatized.
950
00:58:51,353 --> 00:58:56,023
You lack any sense of structure,
character or the Aristotelian unities.
951
00:58:56,024 --> 00:59:00,987
Young lady, I am getting just a
tad tired of your attitude problem.
952
00:59:00,988 --> 00:59:05,700
Everyone, campers!
I have a wonderful idea.
953
00:59:05,701 --> 00:59:08,619
Wednesday and Pugsley
and young Mr. Glicker here,
954
00:59:08,620 --> 00:59:14,041
well, they have just never quite
latched on to the Chippewa spirit,
955
00:59:14,042 --> 00:59:17,546
nor have some
of their little comrades.
956
00:59:17,838 --> 00:59:19,797
Isn't that sad?
957
00:59:19,798 --> 00:59:20,506
Yes!
958
00:59:20,507 --> 00:59:22,466
Don't we just hate that?
959
00:59:22,467 --> 00:59:22,926
Yes!
960
00:59:22,927 --> 00:59:25,511
Don't we wish
they would just die?
961
00:59:25,512 --> 00:59:26,387
Yes!
962
00:59:26,388 --> 00:59:27,054
Oh, no, we don't.
963
00:59:27,055 --> 00:59:29,432
But you know
what we're gonna do with them?
964
00:59:29,433 --> 00:59:32,518
We're going to make
an example.
965
00:59:32,519 --> 00:59:34,895
We are going to show
that anyone,
966
00:59:34,896 --> 00:59:38,607
no matter how odd,
or pale or chubby,
967
00:59:38,608 --> 00:59:41,694
can still have
a darn good time.
968
00:59:41,695 --> 00:59:44,447
Whether they
like it or not.
969
00:59:44,448 --> 00:59:46,867
What are you
gonna do?
970
00:59:47,826 --> 00:59:50,911
Yes, indeedy.
Just the ticket.
971
00:59:50,912 --> 00:59:51,912
Bambi.
972
00:59:51,913 --> 00:59:54,081
Lassie Come Home.
973
00:59:54,082 --> 00:59:56,042
The Little Mermaid.
974
00:59:56,043 --> 00:59:59,087
- Stop it.
- He's only a child.
975
01:00:00,464 --> 01:00:04,134
Don't worry.
We're getting out of here.
976
01:00:04,468 --> 01:00:08,388
But, it's Disney.
977
01:00:08,889 --> 01:00:10,432
Yes.
978
01:00:12,392 --> 01:00:15,936
# The hills are alive
979
01:00:15,937 --> 01:00:19,649
# With the sound of music
980
01:00:20,275 --> 01:00:22,318
# With songs they have sung
981
01:00:22,319 --> 01:00:23,235
# For a thousand years #
982
01:00:23,236 --> 01:00:28,407
# And they knew that it
was much more than a hunch
983
01:00:28,408 --> 01:00:32,244
# That this group must
somehow form a family
984
01:00:32,245 --> 01:00:35,206
# That's the way we all became
The Brady Bunch #
985
01:00:35,207 --> 01:00:39,586
# You're always a day
986
01:00:40,629 --> 01:00:42,631
# Away #
987
01:00:58,396 --> 01:01:00,731
Well, good evening.
988
01:01:00,732 --> 01:01:04,277
Is there anything
you'd like to say to everyone?
989
01:01:04,528 --> 01:01:04,986
Yes.
990
01:01:04,987 --> 01:01:08,073
And just what
might that be?
991
01:01:12,786 --> 01:01:14,328
I'm not perky.
992
01:01:15,038 --> 01:01:16,455
That's for damn sure.
993
01:01:16,456 --> 01:01:18,792
But I want to be.
994
01:01:20,168 --> 01:01:21,335
You do?
995
01:01:21,336 --> 01:01:25,965
I want to smile
and sing and dance
996
01:01:25,966 --> 01:01:28,509
and be Pocahontas
in Gary's vision.
997
01:01:28,510 --> 01:01:32,556
Oh, darling,
do you really mean it?
998
01:01:50,824 --> 01:01:52,700
Isn't she pretty?
999
01:01:52,701 --> 01:01:54,326
She's scaring me!
1000
01:01:55,328 --> 01:01:57,622
- Gar.
- Yeah.
1001
01:02:01,334 --> 01:02:05,505
Stay back!
He's very sick.
1002
01:02:10,552 --> 01:02:12,345
My baby!
1003
01:02:16,349 --> 01:02:18,684
Lumbar, dison,
1004
01:02:18,685 --> 01:02:22,980
pox and thither,
curad, brattle,
1005
01:02:22,981 --> 01:02:26,193
bone and brine!
1006
01:02:28,403 --> 01:02:30,738
Bone and brine!
1007
01:02:31,990 --> 01:02:35,826
Well, he's stubborn.
It works on cats.
1008
01:02:35,827 --> 01:02:38,955
- What are we going to do?
- Is it hopeless?
1009
01:02:40,957 --> 01:02:42,499
Here it is.
1010
01:02:42,500 --> 01:02:45,377
"Chapter 18.
Infant possessions."
1011
01:02:45,378 --> 01:02:46,712
He's possessed?
1012
01:02:46,713 --> 01:02:47,546
"Warning signs,
1013
01:02:47,547 --> 01:02:51,091
"severe alterations
in appearance and personality.
1014
01:02:51,092 --> 01:02:54,720
"Such alterations can
become permanent."
1015
01:02:54,721 --> 01:02:57,723
Permanent?
Those golden curls?
1016
01:02:57,724 --> 01:02:59,225
Those rosy cheeks?
1017
01:02:59,226 --> 01:02:59,726
That smile?
1018
01:02:59,727 --> 01:03:03,479
"These terrifying changes are
most often the result
1019
01:03:03,480 --> 01:03:06,232
"of a troubled family life.
1020
01:03:06,233 --> 01:03:07,107
"Separations..."
1021
01:03:07,108 --> 01:03:09,777
- Separations? You mean...
- Fester!
1022
01:03:09,778 --> 01:03:10,153
Bingo!
1023
01:03:10,154 --> 01:03:12,488
This kid knows that something
is not right around here.
1024
01:03:12,489 --> 01:03:17,368
Unless Fester comes back,
we're talking dimples.
1025
01:03:17,369 --> 01:03:18,827
Not in this house.
1026
01:03:18,828 --> 01:03:23,707
He could stay this way
for years. Forever.
1027
01:03:23,708 --> 01:03:26,961
He could become a lawyer.
1028
01:03:26,962 --> 01:03:28,754
I won't listen!
1029
01:03:28,755 --> 01:03:30,839
An orthodontist.
1030
01:03:30,840 --> 01:03:32,550
Mama, stop!
1031
01:03:33,885 --> 01:03:35,135
President.
1032
01:03:37,389 --> 01:03:42,852
Please! I beg you, take me!
1033
01:03:47,482 --> 01:03:49,108
Each summer
we take this occasion
1034
01:03:49,109 --> 01:03:52,528
to celebrate a seminal event
in American history.
1035
01:03:52,529 --> 01:03:57,616
This year, we depict
perhaps the most important day
1036
01:03:57,617 --> 01:03:59,368
in our shared past,
1037
01:03:59,369 --> 01:04:00,869
the first Thanksgiving!
1038
01:04:00,870 --> 01:04:05,040
A day for maize,
the Native American word for corn,
1039
01:04:05,041 --> 01:04:07,626
a terrific turkey dinner
1040
01:04:07,627 --> 01:04:10,170
and brotherhood!
1041
01:04:10,171 --> 01:04:14,883
So white meat
and dark meat,
1042
01:04:14,884 --> 01:04:17,261
take it away!
1043
01:04:36,281 --> 01:04:37,614
# Eat us
1044
01:04:37,615 --> 01:04:39,783
# Hey, it's Thanksgiving day
1045
01:04:39,784 --> 01:04:43,412
# Eat us,
we make a nice buffet
1046
01:04:43,413 --> 01:04:46,874
# We lost the race
with Farmer Ed
1047
01:04:46,875 --> 01:04:50,586
# Eat us
'cause we're good and dead
1048
01:04:50,587 --> 01:04:52,254
# White man or red man
1049
01:04:52,255 --> 01:04:54,298
# From East, North or South
1050
01:04:54,299 --> 01:04:55,841
# Chop off our legs
1051
01:04:55,842 --> 01:04:58,552
# And put 'em in your mouth
1052
01:04:58,553 --> 01:04:59,762
# Eat me
1053
01:04:59,763 --> 01:05:02,389
# Sauteed or barbecued
1054
01:05:02,390 --> 01:05:02,973
# Eat me
1055
01:05:02,974 --> 01:05:05,351
# We once were pets,
but now we're food
1056
01:05:05,352 --> 01:05:08,520
# We won't stay fresh
for very long
1057
01:05:08,521 --> 01:05:12,566
# So eat us
before we finish this song
1058
01:05:12,567 --> 01:05:16,945
# Eat us before
we finish this song #
1059
01:05:24,204 --> 01:05:25,788
Thank you.
1060
01:05:25,789 --> 01:05:29,042
It was a senseless tragedy.
1061
01:05:53,566 --> 01:05:57,820
Angel, I'm going out
for just a minute.
1062
01:05:57,821 --> 01:06:00,906
I forgot the champagne.
1063
01:06:00,907 --> 01:06:03,826
Our three-week anniversary!
I'll go.
1064
01:06:03,827 --> 01:06:07,204
No, no.
You're working hard enough.
1065
01:06:07,205 --> 01:06:11,751
I'll just put your present
on the table.
1066
01:06:12,168 --> 01:06:14,045
Don't peek!
1067
01:06:14,838 --> 01:06:17,507
Please, please!
1068
01:06:17,924 --> 01:06:19,258
What is it?
1069
01:06:19,259 --> 01:06:21,468
Is it string?
1070
01:06:21,469 --> 01:06:22,678
You never know.
1071
01:06:23,805 --> 01:06:25,764
Is it a dog toy?
1072
01:06:25,765 --> 01:06:28,101
Just you wait.
1073
01:06:30,728 --> 01:06:31,979
It's a bomb.
1074
01:06:31,980 --> 01:06:32,480
What?
1075
01:06:32,481 --> 01:06:36,985
Oh, I know.
Wait for my birthday.
1076
01:06:37,026 --> 01:06:41,029
Fester, let me look at you.
1077
01:06:41,030 --> 01:06:46,035
I want to remember you
just this way.
1078
01:06:46,578 --> 01:06:48,203
What do you mean?
1079
01:06:48,204 --> 01:06:48,996
Rich.
1080
01:06:48,997 --> 01:06:50,038
Will you miss me?
1081
01:06:50,039 --> 01:06:53,793
But you'll be right back,
won't you?
1082
01:06:54,210 --> 01:06:55,837
Of course.
1083
01:07:03,928 --> 01:07:07,973
I am so glad
we invited the Chippewas
1084
01:07:07,974 --> 01:07:10,225
to join us
for this holiday meal.
1085
01:07:10,226 --> 01:07:14,271
Remember,
these savages are our guests.
1086
01:07:14,272 --> 01:07:18,317
We must not be surprised at
any of their strange customs.
1087
01:07:18,318 --> 01:07:22,237
After all,
they have not had our advantages,
1088
01:07:22,238 --> 01:07:24,823
such as fine schools,
1089
01:07:24,824 --> 01:07:28,744
libraries full of books,
shampoo.
1090
01:07:30,997 --> 01:07:31,456
How.
1091
01:07:31,457 --> 01:07:34,500
I am Pocahontas,
a Chippewa maiden.
1092
01:07:34,501 --> 01:07:35,751
An Indian.
1093
01:07:35,752 --> 01:07:36,460
Enough said.
1094
01:07:36,461 --> 01:07:41,216
And I am Running Bear,
betrothed to Pocahontas.
1095
01:07:41,591 --> 01:07:42,424
In the play.
1096
01:07:42,425 --> 01:07:46,428
20 grand for summer camp,
he's Mr. Woo Woo.
1097
01:07:46,429 --> 01:07:50,808
We have brought a special gift
for this holiday feast.
1098
01:07:56,773 --> 01:07:59,191
I am a turkey. Kill me.
1099
01:07:59,192 --> 01:08:02,987
What a thoughtful gift!
1100
01:08:05,240 --> 01:08:08,450
Why, you are
as civilized as we,
1101
01:08:08,451 --> 01:08:11,203
except we wear shoes
and have last names.
1102
01:08:11,705 --> 01:08:15,832
Welcome to our table,
our new primitive friends.
1103
01:08:15,833 --> 01:08:16,833
Thank you, Sarah Miller.
1104
01:08:16,834 --> 01:08:19,878
You're the most beautiful
person I've ever seen.
1105
01:08:19,879 --> 01:08:21,505
Your hair is
the color of the sun.
1106
01:08:21,506 --> 01:08:26,843
Your skin is like fresh
milk, and everyone loves you.
1107
01:08:26,844 --> 01:08:29,556
Stop! Sit.
1108
01:08:29,973 --> 01:08:31,598
- Wait.
- What?
1109
01:08:31,599 --> 01:08:33,935
We cannot break bread
with you.
1110
01:08:34,644 --> 01:08:35,477
Huh?
1111
01:08:35,478 --> 01:08:36,979
Becky, what's going on?
1112
01:08:36,980 --> 01:08:38,105
Wednesday.
1113
01:08:38,106 --> 01:08:42,569
You have taken the land
which is rightfully ours.
1114
01:08:44,070 --> 01:08:44,778
Years from now,
1115
01:08:44,779 --> 01:08:48,657
my people will be forced to live
in mobile homes on reservations.
1116
01:08:48,658 --> 01:08:52,286
Your people will wear
cardigans and drink highballs.
1117
01:08:52,287 --> 01:08:55,205
We will sell our bracelets
by the roadsides.
1118
01:08:55,206 --> 01:08:58,834
You will play golf
and enjoy hot hors d'oeuvres.
1119
01:08:58,835 --> 01:09:02,087
My people will have pain
and degradation.
1120
01:09:02,088 --> 01:09:04,590
Your people will have
stick shifts.
1121
01:09:04,591 --> 01:09:06,383
The gods of my tribe
have spoken.
1122
01:09:06,384 --> 01:09:09,886
They have said,
"Do not trust the pilgrims,
1123
01:09:09,887 --> 01:09:12,598
"especially Sarah Miller."
1124
01:09:12,599 --> 01:09:14,725
Gary, she's changing
the words.
1125
01:09:14,726 --> 01:09:19,814
And for all these reasons,
I have decided to scalp you
1126
01:09:20,148 --> 01:09:23,276
and burn your village
to the ground.
1127
01:09:33,494 --> 01:09:34,453
Children!
Campers!
1128
01:09:34,454 --> 01:09:36,998
Stop it!
You're destroying my text!
1129
01:09:44,922 --> 01:09:45,672
He's not a team player.
1130
01:09:45,673 --> 01:09:48,508
Well, he's a special child,
but he needs friends.
1131
01:09:48,509 --> 01:09:51,179
He needs
friends like this?
1132
01:10:17,163 --> 01:10:18,998
Uh, I beg your pardon.
1133
01:10:23,586 --> 01:10:25,879
Do something!
1134
01:11:13,010 --> 01:11:16,722
# Macho, macho man
1135
01:11:16,723 --> 01:11:20,517
# I've got to be a macho man
1136
01:11:20,518 --> 01:11:24,020
# Macho, macho man
1137
01:11:24,021 --> 01:11:26,481
# I've got to be a macho!
1138
01:11:26,482 --> 01:11:28,483
# Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
1139
01:11:28,484 --> 01:11:31,903
Hey! Wait!
What time is it, Jorge?
1140
01:11:31,904 --> 01:11:32,904
6:25.
1141
01:11:33,823 --> 01:11:35,240
Oops! Got to go.
1142
01:11:35,241 --> 01:11:36,533
- No! No!
- Wait!
1143
01:11:36,534 --> 01:11:40,787
Wait here. It's my anniversary.
I'll be right back.
1144
01:11:40,788 --> 01:11:44,040
Oh, your husband
is a very lucky man.
1145
01:11:44,041 --> 01:11:46,252
Don't say that!
1146
01:11:47,628 --> 01:11:50,797
# Macho, macho man
1147
01:11:50,798 --> 01:11:55,218
# I've got to be
a macho man! #
1148
01:11:59,015 --> 01:12:00,558
Cheers.
1149
01:12:01,058 --> 01:12:02,602
No, no.
1150
01:12:16,365 --> 01:12:18,367
And, Officer,
1151
01:12:19,368 --> 01:12:22,746
my husband was in that house.
1152
01:12:40,473 --> 01:12:44,977
Happy anniversary, Debbie.
1153
01:13:23,766 --> 01:13:27,019
Help. Help.
1154
01:13:37,613 --> 01:13:41,992
Sweetheart!
Did you get the champagne?
1155
01:13:41,993 --> 01:13:43,369
Freeze!
1156
01:13:45,246 --> 01:13:46,539
Pookie?
1157
01:13:46,622 --> 01:13:48,123
I tried to make it look
like an accident.
1158
01:13:48,124 --> 01:13:52,794
I tried to give you some dignity.
But, oh, no. Not you.
1159
01:13:52,795 --> 01:13:53,628
What are you saying?
1160
01:13:53,629 --> 01:13:57,549
I'm saying, I want you dead,
and I want your money.
1161
01:13:57,550 --> 01:14:00,845
But... But...
Don't you love me?
1162
01:14:04,557 --> 01:14:06,474
Is that a no?
1163
01:14:06,475 --> 01:14:09,019
Do I love you?
Look at yourself!
1164
01:14:09,020 --> 01:14:11,521
You're a nightmare!
You're the missing link!
1165
01:14:11,522 --> 01:14:14,357
You shouldn't be married!
You should be studied!
1166
01:14:14,358 --> 01:14:17,027
You're a big, dumb,
weird thing!
1167
01:14:17,028 --> 01:14:20,071
No woman in her right mind
could love you!
1168
01:14:22,325 --> 01:14:24,118
Thing!
1169
01:14:33,669 --> 01:14:38,006
I'll get you!
And your little hand, too!
1170
01:15:12,375 --> 01:15:13,083
Come on.
1171
01:15:13,084 --> 01:15:16,336
No. I have to go back.
For the others.
1172
01:15:16,337 --> 01:15:17,462
You're very brave.
1173
01:15:17,463 --> 01:15:21,049
And to watch the place burn.
You go.
1174
01:15:21,050 --> 01:15:22,050
Save your uncle.
1175
01:15:22,051 --> 01:15:24,970
Joel, I may never
see you again.
1176
01:15:24,971 --> 01:15:25,595
I know.
1177
01:15:25,596 --> 01:15:27,973
There are forces
tearing us apart,
1178
01:15:27,974 --> 01:15:32,019
Gary, Debbie,
seventh grade.
1179
01:15:34,063 --> 01:15:36,272
I'll never forget you.
1180
01:15:36,273 --> 01:15:37,565
You won't?
1181
01:15:37,566 --> 01:15:38,775
You're too weird.
1182
01:15:38,776 --> 01:15:42,487
We'll always have today
and Chippewa.
1183
01:15:42,488 --> 01:15:44,156
And this.
1184
01:15:46,075 --> 01:15:47,242
What is it?
1185
01:15:47,243 --> 01:15:49,495
Amanda's retainer.
1186
01:15:50,579 --> 01:15:52,372
Cara mia.
1187
01:15:52,373 --> 01:15:54,000
Mon cher.
1188
01:16:02,842 --> 01:16:04,510
Come on!
1189
01:16:20,693 --> 01:16:22,319
Move it!
1190
01:16:24,780 --> 01:16:26,406
Move out of the way!
1191
01:16:32,830 --> 01:16:38,044
"We looked!
Then we saw him step in on the mat!
1192
01:16:38,169 --> 01:16:41,881
"We looked! And we saw him!
1193
01:16:42,298 --> 01:16:44,633
"The Cat in the Hat!"
1194
01:16:45,426 --> 01:16:47,636
Are you enjoying this?
1195
01:16:49,388 --> 01:16:53,809
To think, a child of mine.
1196
01:16:55,019 --> 01:16:59,689
"I know it is wet,
and the sun is not sunny,
1197
01:16:59,690 --> 01:17:05,738
"but we can have lots
of good fun that is funny."
1198
01:17:12,787 --> 01:17:14,080
Oh, no.
1199
01:17:14,955 --> 01:17:16,582
He lives.
1200
01:17:16,749 --> 01:17:19,919
Come on! It's Gomez!
1201
01:17:20,586 --> 01:17:23,588
# Swing low
1202
01:17:23,589 --> 01:17:27,217
# Sweet chariot
1203
01:17:27,218 --> 01:17:33,431
# Comin' for
to carry me home!
1204
01:17:33,432 --> 01:17:34,974
# Swing low #
1205
01:17:34,975 --> 01:17:40,355
My baby is ill,
and my husband is dying.
1206
01:17:41,607 --> 01:17:45,193
Oh, Mama, what shall I do?
1207
01:17:45,194 --> 01:17:48,029
Well, you have a black dress.
1208
01:17:59,542 --> 01:18:00,375
Gomez!
1209
01:18:00,376 --> 01:18:01,543
- Fester!
- Fester!
1210
01:18:01,544 --> 01:18:03,461
Fester? Where is Fester?
1211
01:18:03,462 --> 01:18:06,256
He's right here,mon cher.
1212
01:18:06,257 --> 01:18:07,841
It's me, Gomez.
1213
01:18:07,842 --> 01:18:11,052
I've tried to be
someone I'm not.
1214
01:18:11,053 --> 01:18:13,347
I live in shame
1215
01:18:13,556 --> 01:18:14,556
and the suburbs!
1216
01:18:14,557 --> 01:18:20,353
But you belong to Debbie.
You're Debbie's love toy.
1217
01:18:20,354 --> 01:18:25,109
You are Mr. Debbie!
1218
01:18:25,192 --> 01:18:27,527
I am an Addams!
1219
01:18:27,528 --> 01:18:29,113
Fester!
1220
01:18:32,575 --> 01:18:34,660
Uncle Fester!
1221
01:18:34,743 --> 01:18:36,245
Children!
1222
01:18:39,123 --> 01:18:41,458
You sent us to camp.
1223
01:18:42,209 --> 01:18:44,420
They made us sing.
1224
01:18:51,051 --> 01:18:53,512
My own dear family.
1225
01:18:56,682 --> 01:18:59,518
How I've missed you all.
1226
01:18:59,685 --> 01:19:03,813
Our whole family,
together at last.
1227
01:19:03,814 --> 01:19:07,776
Three generations
above ground.
1228
01:19:08,152 --> 01:19:10,029
In-laws!
1229
01:19:16,410 --> 01:19:19,078
I don't want
to hurt anybody.
1230
01:19:19,079 --> 01:19:21,372
I don't enjoy hurting anybody.
1231
01:19:21,373 --> 01:19:24,667
I don't like guns, or bombs,
or electric chairs.
1232
01:19:24,668 --> 01:19:30,925
But sometimes people just won't
listen, and so I have to use persuasion
1233
01:19:31,342 --> 01:19:32,717
and slides.
1234
01:19:32,718 --> 01:19:35,345
My parents, Sharon and Dave.
1235
01:19:35,346 --> 01:19:39,140
Generous, doting,
or were they?
1236
01:19:39,141 --> 01:19:43,895
All I ever wanted
was a Ballerina Barbie
1237
01:19:43,896 --> 01:19:45,980
in her pretty pink tutu.
1238
01:19:45,981 --> 01:19:47,315
My birthday.
1239
01:19:47,316 --> 01:19:51,487
I was 10,
and do you know what they got me?
1240
01:19:51,946 --> 01:19:57,325
Malibu Barbie.
1241
01:19:57,326 --> 01:19:58,534
The nightmare.
1242
01:19:58,535 --> 01:19:59,661
The nerve.
1243
01:19:59,662 --> 01:20:03,873
That's not what I wanted.
That's not who I was.
1244
01:20:03,874 --> 01:20:09,838
I was a ballerina.
Graceful, delicate.
1245
01:20:10,005 --> 01:20:12,049
They had to go.
1246
01:20:27,273 --> 01:20:30,441
My first husband,
the heart surgeon.
1247
01:20:30,442 --> 01:20:34,237
All day long,
coronaries, transplants.
1248
01:20:34,238 --> 01:20:35,697
What about your needs?
1249
01:20:35,698 --> 01:20:40,786
"Sorry about dinner, Deb.
The Pope has a cold."
1250
01:20:42,288 --> 01:20:46,375
An axe.
That takes me back.
1251
01:21:03,225 --> 01:21:05,685
Husband number two,
the senator.
1252
01:21:05,686 --> 01:21:09,188
He loved his state.
He loved his country.
1253
01:21:09,189 --> 01:21:10,732
What about Debbie?
1254
01:21:10,733 --> 01:21:14,485
"Sorry, Debbie.
No Mercedes this year.
1255
01:21:14,486 --> 01:21:17,156
"We have to set an example."
1256
01:21:17,448 --> 01:21:20,159
Oh, yeah? Set this!
1257
01:21:37,009 --> 01:21:38,760
My latest husband.
1258
01:21:38,761 --> 01:21:42,514
My late husband, Fester.
1259
01:21:42,806 --> 01:21:44,140
The fool.
1260
01:21:44,141 --> 01:21:46,018
The corpse.
1261
01:21:46,101 --> 01:21:48,853
And his adorable family.
1262
01:21:48,854 --> 01:21:52,733
You took me in.
You accepted me.
1263
01:21:52,858 --> 01:21:55,651
But did any of you
love me?
1264
01:21:55,652 --> 01:21:57,571
Really love me?
1265
01:21:57,905 --> 01:21:59,365
Hands.
1266
01:22:13,796 --> 01:22:15,797
So I... I killed.
1267
01:22:15,798 --> 01:22:16,672
So I maimed.
1268
01:22:16,673 --> 01:22:22,429
So I destroyed one innocent
life after another.
1269
01:22:22,513 --> 01:22:26,599
Aren't I a human being?
1270
01:22:26,600 --> 01:22:28,434
Don't I yearn
1271
01:22:28,435 --> 01:22:32,398
and ache and shop?
1272
01:22:33,065 --> 01:22:38,404
Don't I deserve love
1273
01:22:40,155 --> 01:22:41,990
and jewelry?
1274
01:23:05,764 --> 01:23:07,473
Adieu, mon cher.
1275
01:23:07,474 --> 01:23:08,391
Adios, cara mia.
1276
01:23:08,392 --> 01:23:12,854
Debbie, let them go.
Take me and my money.
1277
01:23:12,855 --> 01:23:15,941
For what I've done,
I deserve to die.
1278
01:23:16,316 --> 01:23:17,609
Sorry.
1279
01:23:39,965 --> 01:23:42,301
Goodbye, everybody.
1280
01:23:42,634 --> 01:23:44,135
Wish me luck.
1281
01:23:44,136 --> 01:23:46,180
Good luck.
1282
01:24:41,610 --> 01:24:44,570
A birthday party!
What a treat!
1283
01:24:44,571 --> 01:24:47,865
And to think
I might have missed all this.
1284
01:24:47,866 --> 01:24:50,410
What was I thinking of?
1285
01:24:50,744 --> 01:24:52,620
Physical pleasure.
1286
01:24:53,330 --> 01:24:56,415
Uncle Fester,
do you miss Debbie?
1287
01:24:56,416 --> 01:25:00,044
Well, sometimes,
late at night.
1288
01:25:00,045 --> 01:25:03,172
I remember how she used
to turn to me and say,
1289
01:25:03,173 --> 01:25:06,884
"Jesus, Fester,
go back to your room."
1290
01:25:09,972 --> 01:25:12,348
Yoo-hoo.
1291
01:25:15,102 --> 01:25:16,269
Are we late?
1292
01:25:17,521 --> 01:25:20,064
Not at all.
We're just getting started.
1293
01:25:20,065 --> 01:25:23,609
I hope no one minds.
We brought along a guest.
1294
01:25:23,610 --> 01:25:28,156
This is our new nanny,
Dementia.
1295
01:25:32,244 --> 01:25:33,744
Dementia.
1296
01:25:33,745 --> 01:25:36,455
What a beautiful name.
1297
01:25:36,456 --> 01:25:38,625
It means insanity.
1298
01:25:38,959 --> 01:25:43,922
My name's Fester.
It means to rot.
1299
01:25:44,715 --> 01:25:46,258
A toast.
1300
01:25:46,550 --> 01:25:49,302
To the glorious mysteries
of life.
1301
01:25:49,303 --> 01:25:52,722
To all that binds
a family as one.
1302
01:25:52,723 --> 01:25:57,226
To mirth, to merriment,
to manslaughter.
1303
01:25:57,227 --> 01:25:59,437
Hear, hear.
1304
01:25:59,438 --> 01:26:01,022
To dear friends.
1305
01:26:05,235 --> 01:26:07,279
To new friends.
1306
01:26:09,531 --> 01:26:10,990
To youth.
1307
01:26:10,991 --> 01:26:14,161
- How do I look?
- Disturbing.
1308
01:26:15,245 --> 01:26:17,038
To passion.
1309
01:26:17,039 --> 01:26:18,414
To paradise.
1310
01:26:18,415 --> 01:26:20,125
To pain.
1311
01:26:20,375 --> 01:26:21,960
Tonight.
1312
01:26:24,838 --> 01:26:28,592
Make way for
the birthday boy!
1313
01:26:31,136 --> 01:26:34,014
Thing, will you do
the honors?
1314
01:26:45,150 --> 01:26:48,235
Your family
is really interesting.
1315
01:26:48,236 --> 01:26:52,491
Your parents are so
involved with each other.
1316
01:26:54,576 --> 01:26:58,162
Wednesday, do you think,
like, maybe someday
1317
01:26:58,163 --> 01:27:02,000
you might want to get
married and have kids?
1318
01:27:02,459 --> 01:27:03,752
No.
1319
01:27:04,086 --> 01:27:06,629
But what if you met
just the right man
1320
01:27:06,630 --> 01:27:11,384
who worshiped and adored you,
who'd do anything for you,
1321
01:27:11,385 --> 01:27:13,928
who'd be your
devoted slave?
1322
01:27:13,929 --> 01:27:16,348
Then what
would you do?
1323
01:27:16,556 --> 01:27:18,475
I'd pity him.
1324
01:27:26,983 --> 01:27:29,360
Poor Debbie.
She was sick.
1325
01:27:29,361 --> 01:27:31,530
She wasn't sick.
1326
01:27:31,780 --> 01:27:33,906
She was sloppy.
1327
01:27:33,907 --> 01:27:35,366
What do you mean?
1328
01:27:35,367 --> 01:27:37,368
If I wanted
to kill my husband,
1329
01:27:37,369 --> 01:27:41,581
I'd do it,
and I wouldn't get caught.
1330
01:27:41,623 --> 01:27:42,790
How?
1331
01:27:42,791 --> 01:27:45,377
I'd scare him to death.
1332
01:27:46,336 --> 01:27:48,380
No, you wouldn't.
1333
01:27:48,714 --> 01:27:51,924
We're all
very sorry, Debbie.
1334
01:27:51,925 --> 01:27:55,303
We wish you
only the best.
1335
01:28:08,024 --> 01:28:10,526
# Whoomp!
Addams Family
1336
01:28:10,527 --> 01:28:11,694
# There it is
1337
01:28:11,695 --> 01:28:14,740
# Whoomp!
The Addams Family
1338
01:28:15,365 --> 01:28:17,950
# Whoomp!
Addams Family
1339
01:28:17,951 --> 01:28:18,909
# There it is
1340
01:28:18,910 --> 01:28:21,662
# Whoomp!
The Addams Family
1341
01:28:21,663 --> 01:28:23,497
# Come on, dig it,
back again
1342
01:28:23,498 --> 01:28:24,457
# The Addams Family
1343
01:28:24,458 --> 01:28:25,916
# New baby in the house
makes three
1344
01:28:25,917 --> 01:28:27,960
# Wednesday, Pugsley,
Lurch, you ring
1345
01:28:27,961 --> 01:28:29,670
# Fester, Grand-mama
and Thing
1346
01:28:29,671 --> 01:28:31,505
# Wait,
can't forget Cousin Itt
1347
01:28:31,506 --> 01:28:32,840
# Tag Team rips
another party hit
1348
01:28:32,841 --> 01:28:34,967
# It's the Addams Family
movie theme
1349
01:28:34,968 --> 01:28:37,219
# Gomez, Morticia,
come on sing
1350
01:28:37,220 --> 01:28:39,638
# Whoomp!
Addams Family
1351
01:28:39,639 --> 01:28:40,848
# There it is
1352
01:28:40,849 --> 01:28:43,810
# Whoomp!
The Addams Family
1353
01:28:44,352 --> 01:28:46,937
# Whoomp!
Addams Family
1354
01:28:46,938 --> 01:28:48,022
# There it is
1355
01:28:48,023 --> 01:28:51,067
# Whoomp!
The Addams Family
1356
01:28:51,985 --> 01:28:53,402
# The A-D-D-A-M-S
1357
01:28:53,403 --> 01:28:54,695
# The Addams Family,
aw, yes, yes
1358
01:28:54,696 --> 01:28:56,655
# They're creepy, kooky,
mysterious, spooky
1359
01:28:56,656 --> 01:28:58,199
# As loony as can be,
when you see the movie
1360
01:28:58,200 --> 01:29:00,534
# It goes on and on,
the madness won't stop
1361
01:29:00,535 --> 01:29:02,203
# Tick to the tock
around the clock
1362
01:29:02,204 --> 01:29:04,079
# Tag Team catch the flow,
really though
1363
01:29:04,080 --> 01:29:06,332
# With The Addams Family,
so here we go
1364
01:29:06,333 --> 01:29:08,876
# Whoomp!
Addams Family
1365
01:29:08,877 --> 01:29:09,919
# There it is
1366
01:29:09,920 --> 01:29:12,923
# Whoomp!
The Addams Family
1367
01:29:13,507 --> 01:29:16,091
# Whoomp!
Addams Family
1368
01:29:16,092 --> 01:29:17,218
# There it is
1369
01:29:17,219 --> 01:29:20,222
# Whoomp!
The Addams Family
1370
01:29:21,056 --> 01:29:26,477
# Whoomp! Family
1371
01:29:26,478 --> 01:29:28,354
# The Addams Family
1372
01:29:28,355 --> 01:29:33,651
# Whoomp! Family
1373
01:29:33,652 --> 01:29:34,944
# The Addams Family
1374
01:29:34,945 --> 01:29:36,862
# Something's strange,
something's funny
1375
01:29:36,863 --> 01:29:39,406
# Nanny's got a plot to get
the family money
1376
01:29:39,407 --> 01:29:40,533
# Makes Fester fall for her
1377
01:29:40,534 --> 01:29:42,368
# Thing gets wise,
spreads the word
1378
01:29:42,369 --> 01:29:44,161
# The family comes
to Fester's aid
1379
01:29:44,162 --> 01:29:45,830
# The plot is spoiled
no one gets pad
1380
01:29:45,831 --> 01:29:47,873
# It's the Addams Family
running things
1381
01:29:47,874 --> 01:29:49,917
# Get buck wild,
Tag Team swings
1382
01:29:49,918 --> 01:29:52,419
# Whoomp!
Addams Family
1383
01:29:52,420 --> 01:29:53,546
# There it is
1384
01:29:53,547 --> 01:29:56,508
# Whoomp!
The Addams Family
1385
01:29:57,133 --> 01:29:59,677
# Whoomp!
Addams Family
1386
01:29:59,678 --> 01:30:00,803
# There it is
1387
01:30:00,804 --> 01:30:03,764
# Whoomp!
The Addams Family
1388
01:30:03,765 --> 01:30:05,975
# It's a family thing,
it won't quit
1389
01:30:05,976 --> 01:30:07,726
# They keep together,
y'all, and that's it
1390
01:30:07,727 --> 01:30:09,520
# They're not ordinary,
they're strange
1391
01:30:09,521 --> 01:30:11,897
# Some say loco,
insane in the brain
1392
01:30:11,898 --> 01:30:13,065
# But you know
that you love 'em
1393
01:30:13,066 --> 01:30:15,442
# In a class by themselves,
nothin' below, nothin' above 'em
1394
01:30:15,443 --> 01:30:16,861
# It ain't nothing
to be ashamed of
1395
01:30:16,862 --> 01:30:19,321
# So give love to the folks
who go by the name of
1396
01:30:19,322 --> 01:30:21,657
# Whoomp!
Addams Family
1397
01:30:21,658 --> 01:30:22,533
# There it is
1398
01:30:22,534 --> 01:30:25,579
# Whoomp!
The Addams Family
1399
01:30:26,246 --> 01:30:28,831
# Whoomp!
Addams Family #
1400
01:30:28,832 --> 01:30:29,957
# There it is
1401
01:30:29,958 --> 01:30:32,960
# Whoomp!
The Addams Family
1402
01:30:32,961 --> 01:30:34,920
# The Addams Family theme,
I'm gonna kick it
1403
01:30:34,921 --> 01:30:36,881
# Step to the mic
like Cube and get with it
1404
01:30:36,882 --> 01:30:38,591
# Props to the number one
family of horror
1405
01:30:38,592 --> 01:30:40,676
# This song's for the movie
and the dance floor
1406
01:30:40,677 --> 01:30:42,136
# Tag Team always
delivers the funk
1407
01:30:42,137 --> 01:30:44,138
# From the old school,
with the bump for the trunk
1408
01:30:44,139 --> 01:30:45,848
# And it humps
with big bass on the low
1409
01:30:45,849 --> 01:30:48,225
# Like my homie always said,
yo, here we go
1410
01:30:48,226 --> 01:30:50,436
# Whoomp!
Addams Family
1411
01:30:50,437 --> 01:30:51,729
# There it is #
1412
01:30:51,730 --> 01:30:54,774
# Whoomp!
The Addams Family
1413
01:30:55,442 --> 01:30:57,902
# Whoomp!
Addams Family
1414
01:30:57,903 --> 01:30:59,028
# There it is #
1415
01:30:59,029 --> 01:31:02,073
# Whoomp!
The Addams Family
1416
01:31:02,657 --> 01:31:05,200
# Whoomp!
Addams Family
1417
01:31:05,201 --> 01:31:06,285
# There it is
1418
01:31:06,286 --> 01:31:08,787
# Whoomp!
The Addams Family #
1419
01:31:18,506 --> 01:31:21,426
# Express yourself
1420
01:31:23,678 --> 01:31:26,598
# Express yourself
1421
01:31:28,934 --> 01:31:31,560
# You'll never need help
1422
01:31:31,561 --> 01:31:34,480
# From nobody else
1423
01:31:34,481 --> 01:31:37,692
# All you've got to do now
1424
01:31:38,318 --> 01:31:39,736
# Come on
1425
01:31:39,945 --> 01:31:41,570
# Express yourself, come on
Express yourself, come on
1426
01:31:41,571 --> 01:31:44,239
# Let it out and scream and shout
because you know you could
1427
01:31:44,240 --> 01:31:46,575
# Express yourself, come on
Express yourself, come on
1428
01:31:46,576 --> 01:31:50,747
# Come on, people, come on, people
'cause you know it's good
1429
01:31:51,081 --> 01:31:53,248
# Express yourself #
1430
01:31:53,249 --> 01:31:57,963
# Breaking hearts
just ain't my game
1431
01:31:58,880 --> 01:32:03,550
# All I want to do
is love you
1432
01:32:03,551 --> 01:32:04,051
# Well
1433
01:32:04,052 --> 01:32:08,639
# Now, sugar I won't
fill you with regret
1434
01:32:08,640 --> 01:32:09,598
# No, no
1435
01:32:09,599 --> 01:32:14,395
# If what you're looking for
is real lovin'
1436
01:32:14,396 --> 01:32:15,354
# Real lovin'
1437
01:32:15,355 --> 01:32:19,901
# Then what you see
is what you get
1438
01:32:21,152 --> 01:32:23,362
- # What you see
- # What you see
1439
01:32:23,363 --> 01:32:25,072
# Yeah, is what you get
1440
01:32:25,073 --> 01:32:26,699
# It's what you get
1441
01:32:26,700 --> 01:32:28,742
- # What you see
- # What you see
1442
01:32:28,743 --> 01:32:31,328
- # Is what you get
- # Is what you get
1443
01:32:31,329 --> 01:32:36,792
# I said, what you see
is what you get, now, baby
1444
01:32:36,793 --> 01:32:37,584
# It's what you get
1445
01:32:37,585 --> 01:32:41,797
# And the real thing
is the best thing yet
1446
01:32:41,798 --> 01:32:44,342
# The best thing yet
1447
01:32:45,260 --> 01:32:47,429
# What you see
1448
01:32:49,097 --> 01:32:50,764
# It's who I am
1449
01:32:50,765 --> 01:32:53,643
# It's what you get
1450
01:32:55,020 --> 01:33:00,191
# Feels so good
I can't stand myself
1451
01:33:03,236 --> 01:33:05,447
# Ooh, baby
1452
01:33:05,655 --> 01:33:08,115
- # What you see
- # What you see
1453
01:33:08,116 --> 01:33:11,368
- # Is what you get
- # Is what you get
1454
01:33:11,369 --> 01:33:13,746
- # What you see
- # What you see
1455
01:33:13,747 --> 01:33:16,123
- # Is what you get
- # Is what you get
1456
01:33:16,124 --> 01:33:21,587
# I said what you see
is what you get, now, baby
1457
01:33:21,588 --> 01:33:22,379
# It's what you get
1458
01:33:22,380 --> 01:33:27,218
# And the real thing
is the best thing yet
1459
01:33:27,343 --> 01:33:29,220
# Are you ready for me? #
1460
01:33:35,560 --> 01:33:39,813
# Do it
Do it any way you wanna
1461
01:33:39,814 --> 01:33:40,856
# It's on you
1462
01:33:40,857 --> 01:33:41,940
# Do it any way you wanna
1463
01:33:41,941 --> 01:33:44,151
# Do it
Do it any way you wanna
1464
01:33:44,152 --> 01:33:46,571
# It's on you, baby
1465
01:33:47,489 --> 01:33:50,325
# Do it any way you wanna
1466
01:33:51,743 --> 01:33:53,911
# Do it any way you wanna #
1467
01:33:53,912 --> 01:33:56,538
# Whoomp!
Addams Family
1468
01:33:56,539 --> 01:33:57,664
# There it is
1469
01:33:57,665 --> 01:34:01,085
# Whoomp!
The Addams Family
1470
01:34:01,086 --> 01:34:04,923
# Whoomp!
The Addams Family #
93560
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