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1
00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:08,442
Hey, uh, are
you Billie Chase?
2
00:00:08,476 --> 00:00:11,245
Not another disgruntled reader.
3
00:00:11,279 --> 00:00:12,646
Look, Twilight sucked,
4
00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:15,616
and nothing you can say
will change my mind.
5
00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:18,052
No, I'm Sullivan Boyd
6
00:00:18,086 --> 00:00:19,287
from the Sports Desk.... Sully.
7
00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,622
You left me a message about
needing help with an article?
8
00:00:21,655 --> 00:00:22,890
My God, thank you, yes.
9
00:00:22,923 --> 00:00:25,493
Okay, I'm doing an article on
the top ten basketball movies,
10
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:27,095
and you are
a great writer.
11
00:00:27,128 --> 00:00:28,396
Which is saying something,
'cause to me
12
00:00:28,429 --> 00:00:31,265
all sports sounds like
"bleep, blop, blork."
13
00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:34,402
Thank you so
much for doing this.
14
00:00:34,435 --> 00:00:37,338
Oh, hey, oh, look at
you all over the place.
15
00:00:38,472 --> 00:00:40,741
Congratulations to you
and your husband.
16
00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:42,510
Oh, nope. No husband.
17
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:45,713
No boyfriend. No contraception.
18
00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:46,747
Oh, you're gonna be fine.
19
00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:48,616
All you need is a
good game plan.
20
00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:50,751
Like in the deciding
game of the 2000 NBA Finals,
21
00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:52,320
Kobe fed Shaq the rock
the whole night,
22
00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:54,322
and in the end the Lakers
brought home the hardware.
23
00:00:54,355 --> 00:00:56,490
Bleep, blop, blork.
24
00:00:56,524 --> 00:00:58,226
But thank you for the pep talk.
25
00:00:58,259 --> 00:00:59,527
No problem, gorgeous.
26
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,495
Oh, and, uh, by the way,
27
00:01:01,529 --> 00:01:03,164
I think Twilight sucked, too.
28
00:01:03,197 --> 00:01:06,467
You and me hate the same stuff.
That's, uh, kind of romantic.
29
00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:12,506
So, I met this cute, funny guy,
30
00:01:12,540 --> 00:01:14,108
and even though
I'm so gigantic
31
00:01:14,142 --> 00:01:17,345
I can't even see if
I need a bikini wax,
32
00:01:17,378 --> 00:01:19,680
I think he was
flirting with me.
33
00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:21,115
Of course he was.
34
00:01:21,149 --> 00:01:23,651
We're the Chase sisters.
People chase us.
35
00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:26,620
But in my current state,
I can't exactly run,
36
00:01:26,654 --> 00:01:27,821
so I got caught.
37
00:01:27,855 --> 00:01:28,856
(laughs)
38
00:01:28,889 --> 00:01:31,625
Anyway, it made me feel
really good about myself.
39
00:01:31,659 --> 00:01:34,295
Oh, look, two women
with babies.
40
00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:36,664
Wouldn't it be awesome if
you were pregnant right now?
41
00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:39,333
And you were fatter than me?
42
00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:41,235
Oh, my God, the bloating,
43
00:01:41,269 --> 00:01:43,637
the stretch marks,
the morning sickness.
44
00:01:43,671 --> 00:01:45,706
I dream about it
all the time.
45
00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:48,309
Well, how did the latest
baby conversation
46
00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:49,643
go with Nick?
47
00:01:49,677 --> 00:01:51,612
I mean, I know he's anxious
about the responsibility,
48
00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:53,781
but is he any closer
to changing his mind?
49
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:54,915
No, she's sticking
to his guns.
50
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:57,718
I mean, I know we decided
for the first three years
51
00:01:57,751 --> 00:01:59,853
of our marriage we were gonna
focus on our careers.
52
00:01:59,887 --> 00:02:01,355
Abby, you've been
married five years.
53
00:02:01,389 --> 00:02:03,224
That's very frustrating.
54
00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:06,227
But I don't want
to say anything,
55
00:02:06,260 --> 00:02:09,897
because it has an adverse effect
on the quality of his erections.
56
00:02:13,201 --> 00:02:15,769
Yes, well, anything below
"raging" is not acceptable.
57
00:02:16,804 --> 00:02:17,805
You know Nick.
58
00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:18,839
He's just afraid of change.
59
00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:20,107
All he needs is
a little push.
60
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,543
Like, remember when
you convinced him to
cut off his ponytail?
61
00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:24,778
He still has it
in his drawer.
62
00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:27,215
But it's not attached
to his head anymore,
63
00:02:27,248 --> 00:02:28,316
and that's because of you.
64
00:02:28,349 --> 00:02:29,817
You're right.
65
00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:32,853
So how do we get him comfortable
with the idea of being a father?
66
00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:35,723
Hmm...
67
00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:39,427
Well, Zack and I were
going to ask you guys
to be godparents anyway...
68
00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:41,929
Oh, my God!
69
00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:43,964
Why don't you guys come over
for brunch tomorrow?
70
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:46,300
We'll get a few mimosas
in him and I'll ask.
71
00:02:46,334 --> 00:02:47,968
We just have to time it right.
72
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,703
After two mimosas,
he's open-minded.
73
00:02:49,737 --> 00:02:51,539
After three, he blacks out.
74
00:02:52,906 --> 00:02:55,909
Oh, look they're picking up
their babies together!
75
00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:03,351
Those are either really cute
dogs or ugly-ass babies.
76
00:03:05,253 --> 00:03:07,921
(chomping)
77
00:03:07,955 --> 00:03:11,359
This is just completely
blowing my mind.
78
00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:13,894
It's amazing.
79
00:03:13,927 --> 00:03:15,463
What is it?
80
00:03:15,496 --> 00:03:18,466
For the third time,
it's eggs.
81
00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:21,602
Eggs!
(chuckles)
82
00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:25,406
Oh, eggs--
the chameleon of food.
83
00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:29,009
Will you be scrambled,
will you be over easy?
84
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:31,712
Uh, Billie, how's that
basketball article going?
85
00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:34,582
Well, a lot more exciting
than I expected.
86
00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:37,551
My collaborator appears
to be flirting with me.
87
00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:40,288
You think everybody's
flirting with you.
88
00:03:40,321 --> 00:03:42,523
So medium pepperoni,
89
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,725
and here's some free
cinnamon logs for you.
90
00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:46,727
Free logs.
91
00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:50,731
I think we know
where this is heading.
92
00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:52,900
Free cinnamon logs
are part of the promotion.
93
00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:53,967
It was on the commercial.
94
00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:55,536
Oh, really?
95
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,705
Was undressing me with his eyes
in the commercial, too?
96
00:03:58,472 --> 00:04:00,374
Billie, that's so funny.
97
00:04:00,408 --> 00:04:01,375
Oh.
98
00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:03,844
Nick, Abby.
99
00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:05,713
Yes, what?
100
00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:07,415
Are you about
to ask us something?
101
00:04:07,448 --> 00:04:09,350
Uh-huh. Zack and I
were going to wait
102
00:04:09,383 --> 00:04:10,884
till after the baby was born,
103
00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:12,653
but we just think
you two would make
104
00:04:12,686 --> 00:04:14,054
such incredible parents,
105
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:16,757
that we would like you to be
our baby's godparents.
106
00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:17,991
Oh, my God!
107
00:04:18,025 --> 00:04:19,860
It's an honor.
A surprising honor.
108
00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:21,795
Of course.
109
00:04:21,829 --> 00:04:23,931
Yeah, sure.
110
00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:27,768
Because it would help us
get used to the idea
111
00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:31,004
of being parents ourselves--
it just occurred to me.
112
00:04:31,038 --> 00:04:33,641
And we're going to be
parents, eventually.
113
00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:36,777
Well, eventually I'm going
to be infertile.
114
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:37,978
Are we really doing this
115
00:04:38,011 --> 00:04:41,081
"I want to have a baby" thing
again over eggs Benedict?
116
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:44,051
I think doing it over eggs
is completely appropriate.
117
00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:45,719
Because every month
I make one,
118
00:04:45,753 --> 00:04:47,988
you do nothing about it
and it dies. (chuckles)
119
00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:51,359
This was just intended
as a lovely gesture.
120
00:04:51,392 --> 00:04:52,059
I think...
121
00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:53,794
Five years ago
122
00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:55,629
it was three years,
123
00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:57,365
and now you're saying
"eventually,"
124
00:04:57,398 --> 00:04:59,367
which is at least
another three years
125
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:00,233
and if you add that...
126
00:05:00,267 --> 00:05:02,102
I'm too mad to be doing
math right now.
127
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:05,072
Calm down. I understand
your frustration.
128
00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:07,007
See, if you add three
to the existing...
129
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,476
Get out!
130
00:05:08,509 --> 00:05:10,778
Fine.
131
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:11,945
Fine.
132
00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,547
Fine!
133
00:05:14,682 --> 00:05:18,018
Billie, Zack, thank you
for a lovely brunch.
134
00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:20,053
Yes, we have to do this
again sometime.
135
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:23,957
* I can't be anything
without you. *
136
00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:26,994
Captioning sponsored by
CBS TELEVISION
137
00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:34,435
I'm going to be childless
forever and ever and ever,
138
00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:37,104
and then I'm going to die--
alone.
139
00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:39,573
Because men die first.
140
00:05:39,607 --> 00:05:41,475
That's because they're quitters.
141
00:05:43,511 --> 00:05:45,646
Look, Abby, I know this
is important to you,
142
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:48,416
but I think you're going to your
dark place kind of quick here.
143
00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:50,518
I mean, after all,
it's just one fight.
144
00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:52,753
It's not just one fight, okay?
145
00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:54,688
This is an ongoing
battle of wills
146
00:05:54,722 --> 00:05:57,124
and Nick is ferocious,
as I'm sure you can tell.
147
00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:01,695
Well, if you want
to get what you want,
148
00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:03,697
you're just going to have
to be ferocious back.
149
00:06:03,731 --> 00:06:05,766
Like remember when Nick
got cold feet about
getting married
150
00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:08,836
'cause even at 25, his
401(k) hadn't vested yet?
151
00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:11,605
You and I went off to Cabo.
152
00:06:11,639 --> 00:06:13,140
Gave him some
time to think,
153
00:06:13,173 --> 00:06:14,041
and he missed you so much
154
00:06:14,074 --> 00:06:16,076
he showed up at the
airport in a tuxedo.
155
00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:19,112
At first I thought
he was a limo driver.
156
00:06:19,146 --> 00:06:20,180
(chuckles)
157
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,015
It was so romantic.
Ah.
158
00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:24,552
Sweetie, you're my sister.
159
00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:26,554
I'll support whatever
you want to do,
160
00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:27,988
but why don't we
try that approach?
161
00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:30,658
I mean Cabo's off the table,
because-- look at me.
162
00:06:30,691 --> 00:06:33,060
So what? We can still
hang out, have fun
163
00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:35,162
and in time, he'll
miss your sweet ass.
164
00:06:35,195 --> 00:06:37,164
You really think
that'll work?
165
00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:40,901
I'm not sure, but I promise you
we will find a solution to this.
166
00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:42,102
Easy on the revitalizer.
167
00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:44,738
It's 50 bucks a jar.
168
00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:46,106
Sorry, I'm upset.
169
00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:48,842
I know... Okay,
seriously, that's enough.
170
00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:53,981
I can't believe you guys didn't
ask me to be the godfather.
171
00:06:56,484 --> 00:07:01,221
It might have hurt your chances
that you're kind of a pothead.
172
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:03,524
What are you talking about?
173
00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:04,692
Dude...
174
00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:06,994
when I look at you
through this fork,
175
00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:09,563
(laughing):
you look like you're in jail.
176
00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:11,198
(laughing)
177
00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:15,202
No, dude-- you're in jail.
178
00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:18,772
Oh, no.
179
00:07:18,806 --> 00:07:20,608
Wow.
180
00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:24,211
Well, that's not the image
I want to project.
181
00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:26,547
Okay, how can I handle
this problem?
182
00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:29,149
Ah...
183
00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:30,818
Drawing a blank.
184
00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:32,185
Guess we'll have
to live with it.
185
00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:34,087
You could quit smoking pot.
186
00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:34,855
Whoa, whoa.
187
00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:36,924
Settle down, okay?
188
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:38,592
I mean, quit?
189
00:07:38,626 --> 00:07:40,027
Uh, no.
190
00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:41,028
I don't think, uh...
191
00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:43,531
Whoa.
192
00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:45,265
I mean, you know
what I could do?
193
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:48,035
I could maybe just, you know,
take a little break.
194
00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:50,237
Not quit.
195
00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:51,905
You know, no finality.
196
00:07:51,939 --> 00:07:54,975
Just a little respite.
197
00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:57,711
Some time off from my weed.
198
00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:01,749
I already hate this.
199
00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:04,051
Okay, hey, I'm here
for you, man, okay?
200
00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:05,318
Anyways, you can't
have any around,
201
00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:08,121
so we need to get rid
of all the pot in
your apartment.
202
00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:10,223
Whoa, hey, whoa!
203
00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:14,795
(whispers):
You can't be serious.
204
00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:18,966
This is hard. It would've been
easier if you did a list
205
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:20,634
on the top bobsledding
movies of all time,
206
00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:22,135
'cause it's a short list.
207
00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:23,637
Cool Runnings.
See, there, we're done.
208
00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:25,272
(laughing)
209
00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:27,207
You know, you got
a great belly laugh.
210
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,109
But then again,
you got a great belly.
211
00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:31,178
Wow, I haven't heard
that compliment
212
00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:34,247
since this enormous thing
started growing inside of me.
213
00:08:34,281 --> 00:08:35,148
Are you kidding me?
214
00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:37,651
That kid has the
best seat in the house.
215
00:08:38,786 --> 00:08:41,188
Damn, I gotta go cover
the Warriors game.
216
00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:42,956
How about I come back
here afterwards,
217
00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:44,157
we'll polish this thing off
218
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:47,027
and I'll even buy you dinner?
It'll be like a work date.
219
00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:53,066
James! Can I ask you
a question about my body?
220
00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:56,670
Well, I see this
ending well for me.
221
00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:00,207
Sully just asked me out.
222
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:03,010
Is it possible that
at this stage of my girth,
223
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,177
where my skin
is stretched to the point
224
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:05,813
that it may never snap back,
225
00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:07,214
that someone could
find me attractive?
226
00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:09,016
Yeah, it's possible.
227
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,784
Oh, thank you.
228
00:09:10,818 --> 00:09:12,285
If he's a freak.
229
00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:16,356
I retract my thank you.
230
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:19,259
He must be one of those
"pregnophiles."
231
00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:21,094
"Pregnophile"? What's that?
232
00:09:21,128 --> 00:09:22,663
That's not something.
233
00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:23,997
Yeah, yeah, sure, it is.
234
00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:25,298
You know, there's all kinds
of weird fetishes.
235
00:09:25,332 --> 00:09:27,234
Like people who are
into weird costumes
236
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:30,270
or feet or monogamy.
237
00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:35,275
Is that all of it?
238
00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:41,148
Yeah, that's it.
239
00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:45,185
The thought
of all that weed,
240
00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:47,154
down there in the sewer,
241
00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:50,624
being smoked by all
those sewer people...
242
00:09:50,658 --> 00:09:53,293
What the hell
are you talking about?
243
00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:56,930
The sewer people.
244
00:09:56,964 --> 00:10:00,033
Are there not
sewer people?
245
00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:03,871
No.
246
00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:07,340
Then who defends
the treasure?
247
00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:14,181
Ladies, I give you
weed-free Davis
248
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:16,283
and his handsome friend, me.
249
00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:18,285
Davis, good for you.
250
00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:21,054
I don't remember you
being weed-free since...
251
00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:23,290
Good for you!
252
00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:25,092
So, has Nick
called you yet?
253
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:26,426
Screw him.
254
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,028
Until he comes to his senses
255
00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:29,897
and tells me I am right
about this baby thing,
256
00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:32,299
I am having fun.
257
00:10:32,332 --> 00:10:34,001
(whispering):
I'm not wearing a bra.
258
00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:37,771
You know, when I want to
reel back in an old lover,
259
00:10:37,805 --> 00:10:41,208
I take sexy photos of myself
and post them on Facebook.
260
00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:43,944
*
261
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:46,146
(camera shutter snaps)
262
00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:52,052
It hasn't really worked yet.
263
00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:56,156
But I did discover
I'm allergic to rose petals.
264
00:10:56,189 --> 00:10:59,126
I think it's a great idea
to give Nick a little reminder
265
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:00,460
of how desirable you are.
266
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,295
I mean, we sent him those
pictures of us in Cabo
267
00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:04,898
with the super-hot cliff divers.
268
00:11:04,932 --> 00:11:06,133
Let's take
a picture and post it.
269
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,835
Okay.
Okay.
270
00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:09,903
Give me "hot" and "sexy"
271
00:11:09,937 --> 00:11:12,272
and "don't you want
to fertilize my eggs?"
272
00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:14,474
And... Oh.
273
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:15,976
There.
274
00:11:17,745 --> 00:11:19,713
This'll be the push Nick needs.
275
00:11:19,747 --> 00:11:21,348
Oh, my God. I feel bawdy.
276
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:22,349
(laughs)
277
00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:25,318
Now me and my new boots
are gonna get hammered.
278
00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:28,388
Ooh. Have to go meet Sully.
279
00:11:28,421 --> 00:11:29,990
Will you keep Abby
company till I get back?
280
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:32,025
Yeah. Sure.
281
00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:36,196
Hey.
Hey.
282
00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:38,331
I just found out
my boyfriend cheated on me,
283
00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:40,267
and I want to get back at him.
284
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:43,403
Hi, I'm Zack.
285
00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:45,906
Man, you're
a really good writer.
286
00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:47,074
Oh, come on.
287
00:11:47,107 --> 00:11:48,742
No, seriously.
You see this comma?
288
00:11:48,776 --> 00:11:50,811
It's perfectly placed.
I wouldn't have put it there,
289
00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:53,246
but you did,
because you, you're special.
290
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,316
Now you're just
busting my balls.
291
00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:59,386
I am, but you know,
this is a really good article.
292
00:11:59,419 --> 00:12:00,754
Thank you.
293
00:12:00,788 --> 00:12:02,355
I couldn't have
done it without you.
294
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:04,291
You know, I was in China
for the Olympics.
295
00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:07,160
Tiniest people you ever saw,
jumping up and down in the sky.
296
00:12:07,194 --> 00:12:08,395
"Bing, bing, bing."
297
00:12:09,362 --> 00:12:11,331
Like their asses
were replaced by rockets.
298
00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:12,933
(laughing)
299
00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:14,401
I wish I could have been there.
300
00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:15,836
Oh, they would love you
over there.
301
00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:17,070
You'd be like
a big, golden
302
00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:18,371
sexy giant to them.
303
00:12:28,315 --> 00:12:30,918
Sully, um, tell me
more about yourself.
304
00:12:30,951 --> 00:12:32,152
You know, do you date?
305
00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:33,253
Oh, of course you date.
306
00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:34,354
We're on a date.
307
00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:36,456
But what about the last
person you went out with?
308
00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:39,259
Was she anything like me?
309
00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:42,295
In some ways.
310
00:12:42,329 --> 00:12:43,864
I mean, we were
really into each other,
311
00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:45,933
but then it just ended
after, I think...
312
00:12:45,966 --> 00:12:47,267
nine months.
313
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,339
Oh.
314
00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:54,341
What about the
one before that?
315
00:12:54,374 --> 00:12:55,508
Ah, that was Sherry.
316
00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:58,445
That one lasted about eight
months, but she dropped early.
317
00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:00,480
Dropped early?
318
00:13:00,513 --> 00:13:02,349
We were in
a computer class together.
319
00:13:02,382 --> 00:13:03,817
Dumb girl, real dumb.
320
00:13:03,851 --> 00:13:07,020
Oh. Okay. Well,
that checks out.
321
00:13:07,054 --> 00:13:08,155
Oh, God.
322
00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:10,423
This was so much fun, but
I got to go meet my sister
323
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:12,025
at a bar a few blocks away.
324
00:13:12,059 --> 00:13:14,194
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Can I walk you there?
325
00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:15,428
You don't have
to do that.
326
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:18,265
Oh, come on. What kind of guy
would I be if I didn't walk
327
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,367
a hot, pregnant
woman to a bar?
328
00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:23,470
* Yo, wassup?
329
00:13:23,503 --> 00:13:25,505
(dance music plays)
330
00:13:28,275 --> 00:13:31,011
Nick hasn't called. He hasn't
texted. He hasn't emailed.
331
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:33,446
Davis, call my phone
and see if it's working.
332
00:13:35,883 --> 00:13:37,484
(cell phone rings)
333
00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:38,485
Nick?
334
00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:39,887
No, it's me.
335
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,822
Oh, okay.
Good-bye.
336
00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:45,926
Screw it!
337
00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:49,396
Yeah, that wasn't ours.
338
00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:52,399
Nick's had all day
to call or come and get me.
339
00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:53,500
So the hell with him.
340
00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:56,036
Let's go to one of those
underground after-hours clubs
341
00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:57,604
where everyone
wears a dog collar.
342
00:13:57,637 --> 00:14:00,507
That sounds expensive.
343
00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:02,609
Well, where can we go
that's free?
344
00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:04,344
Oh, how about your place?
345
00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:06,880
I'm sorry. I'm just
getting off drugs.
346
00:14:06,914 --> 00:14:08,949
Did you say let's
go back to my place?
347
00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:16,156
Thank you for
walking me here.
348
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:18,491
Well, I wasn't ready
to say good-bye to you yet.
349
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:21,094
Okay, now I'm ready.
Bye-bye.
350
00:14:21,128 --> 00:14:23,096
You know, I, um...
351
00:14:23,130 --> 00:14:24,631
I'd really like
to see you again.
352
00:14:24,664 --> 00:14:27,334
Not on a work date,
but a, uh, a date-date.
353
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,602
Yes-yes.
354
00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:32,172
Would it weird you out
if I kissed you?
355
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,074
No-no.
356
00:14:46,586 --> 00:14:48,521
(chuckles)
357
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:50,590
I don't usually say this
after I've kissed someone,
358
00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:52,225
but there's the guy
who got me pregnant.
359
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,628
Why were you waving
at that woman?
360
00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:58,031
She's carrying my baby.
I kind of have to.
361
00:14:58,065 --> 00:14:59,399
(scoffs)
362
00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:03,670
Zack, this is Sully.
363
00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:06,106
Hey, dude.
Good to know you.
364
00:15:06,139 --> 00:15:08,441
I'm a big fan
of your work.
365
00:15:08,475 --> 00:15:09,542
You want a beer?
366
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:10,477
Yeah. All right.
367
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:14,514
So, he's a cool guy, huh?
368
00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:17,150
Yeah, sure.
For a pregnophile.
369
00:15:17,184 --> 00:15:18,251
What?!
370
00:15:18,285 --> 00:15:20,587
Okay, how come every man
in my life knows this word?
371
00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:22,555
Do you really want
to go down that road?
372
00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:25,658
Because "pregnophile" is
just the tip of the iceberg.
373
00:15:25,692 --> 00:15:28,195
Well, I think
you are wrong.
374
00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:29,596
I really like him.
375
00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:32,265
He's a sweet guy.
We make each other laugh
376
00:15:32,299 --> 00:15:33,500
and we have fun.
377
00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:35,969
My pregnancy has
nothing to do with it.
378
00:15:36,003 --> 00:15:38,171
Thanks.
379
00:15:39,639 --> 00:15:41,441
Mmm.
380
00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:44,044
You are plump and juicy.
381
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:50,617
Sully...
382
00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:52,219
(laughs)
383
00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:54,687
There's no polite way
to ask you this.
384
00:15:54,721 --> 00:15:58,291
Are you, by any chance,
a pregnophile?
385
00:15:58,325 --> 00:16:00,027
What the hell is
a pregnophile?
386
00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:01,694
Oh, uh, well, it means
387
00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:05,098
someone who is attracted
to pregnant women.
388
00:16:05,132 --> 00:16:07,767
You know, I... I'm offended.
389
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,770
I'm a nice man
with nice desires.
390
00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:14,241
I'm sorry. I really like you.
391
00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:15,642
Maybe you're not a pregnophile.
392
00:16:15,675 --> 00:16:16,709
Maybe I'm not?
393
00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:19,046
Well... almost definitely not.
394
00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:21,514
No. It's too late. Okay,
now if you'll excuse me,
395
00:16:21,548 --> 00:16:23,716
I'm going to go write an
article on the top ten
396
00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:26,253
most hurtful things people
have ever said about me.
397
00:16:26,286 --> 00:16:27,620
Second is this
pregnophile thing.
398
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:28,788
And the first one...
399
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,623
I still can't talk about.
400
00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:38,265
I can't believe I'd let you guys
get in my head like that.
401
00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:42,302
Isn't it possible that he is
a nice man with nice desires?
402
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:48,341
All right.
403
00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:49,576
Where's Abby?
Did she hear from Nick?
404
00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:51,178
Yeah. I don't know.
405
00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:52,579
What do you mean,
you don't know?
406
00:16:52,612 --> 00:16:54,214
You and Davis were
keeping her company.
407
00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:55,615
And we did...
408
00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:57,684
till I started making
out with that girl.
409
00:16:57,717 --> 00:17:00,553
I'm calling her.
410
00:17:00,587 --> 00:17:02,655
(phone buzzes)
411
00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:06,259
This couch is so dirty,
412
00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:09,596
I really feel like
I'm having an adventure.
413
00:17:09,629 --> 00:17:11,364
You should see the bathroom.
414
00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:13,766
It's like being in Bangladesh.
415
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,571
You know, if my sister
weren't pregnant,
416
00:17:18,605 --> 00:17:19,772
I never would have met you.
417
00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:22,842
Well, if my best friend hadn't
had sex with your sister,
418
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,344
I never
would have met you.
419
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:27,080
Well, I'm glad
we met each other.
420
00:17:27,114 --> 00:17:28,281
Me, too.
421
00:17:28,315 --> 00:17:30,483
You'd make a baby with me,
right, Davis?
422
00:17:35,622 --> 00:17:36,456
Hey, maybe Nick
took her home.
423
00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:38,258
Why don't you call
him and find out?
424
00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:39,659
What if he didn't,
425
00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:41,128
and we call
and she's not there?
426
00:17:41,161 --> 00:17:43,163
We don't have an answer
for where she is.
427
00:17:43,196 --> 00:17:46,399
You can't put a good spin
on, "Your wife is missing."
428
00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:48,868
(cell phone rings)
I got it.
429
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:50,303
It's Davis.
Maybe he knows.
430
00:17:50,337 --> 00:17:51,604
Okay.
431
00:17:51,638 --> 00:17:53,373
Hey, dude, do you
know were Abby is?
432
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:54,707
(whispering):
She's in my apartment right now,
433
00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:58,545
and she wants
to have sex with me.
434
00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:00,680
He knows where she is.
435
00:18:00,713 --> 00:18:02,182
(whispers):
Great.
436
00:18:02,215 --> 00:18:04,651
Listen to me. I have
a vulnerable, tipsy woman
437
00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:06,753
in my living room
slash dining room
438
00:18:06,786 --> 00:18:08,688
slash photography studio
439
00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:10,857
and I'm about to give
into temptation here.
440
00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:12,024
Hold on man, I'm coming.
441
00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:14,827
Okay, this is going to sound
bad, but it could be worse.
442
00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:16,396
Your sister is at Davis's,
443
00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:17,897
and I think he's locked
himself in the bathroom
444
00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:19,566
because she wants to
have sex with him.
445
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,401
Oh, my God!
446
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:24,137
I have a terrible feeling
I made this happen.
447
00:18:24,171 --> 00:18:25,872
Oy, oy, oy, oy.
448
00:18:25,905 --> 00:18:27,774
I think I made
this happen, too.
449
00:18:27,807 --> 00:18:29,809
Nick!
Zack, it's Nick!
450
00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:31,278
Keep it together.
451
00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:32,445
Where's Abby?
452
00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:34,481
We are just on our way
to go get her.
453
00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:35,682
Why don't you go home and--
454
00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:38,651
No! She is my wife and
I'm coming with you.
455
00:18:38,685 --> 00:18:40,687
Okay.
456
00:18:42,289 --> 00:18:43,656
I like angry Nick.
457
00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:45,592
You know, you can only
push me so far.
458
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:46,726
If you're a woman.
459
00:18:46,759 --> 00:18:49,128
If you're a man, you can
probably push me indefinitely.
460
00:18:52,399 --> 00:18:55,402
Maybe they're sleeping.
461
00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:57,470
Or having really
quiet, tender sex.
462
00:18:58,738 --> 00:19:00,207
Let's just get
in there while
463
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,742
Nick is still trying
to parallel park.
464
00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:05,345
Oh, God, this
is all my fault.
465
00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:06,379
Hello?
466
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:11,918
Abby, what are you doing?
467
00:19:11,951 --> 00:19:13,853
Were you two fooling around?
468
00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:15,722
Oh, thank God.
469
00:19:16,956 --> 00:19:19,692
Wait a minute. Then what
the hell is going on here?
470
00:19:19,726 --> 00:19:21,728
(chuckling)
471
00:19:26,266 --> 00:19:29,269
(laughing)
472
00:19:30,737 --> 00:19:32,705
Billie, you're in jail.
473
00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:33,740
(laughing)
474
00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:37,377
You guys are stoned?
475
00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:39,746
I am so telling
Mom about this.
476
00:19:39,779 --> 00:19:42,582
"I am so telling Mom abo--"
477
00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:45,618
Really, don't tell Mom!
478
00:19:45,652 --> 00:19:47,220
It's just her, not me.
479
00:19:47,254 --> 00:19:50,290
You are looking at
a pot-free dude right now.
480
00:19:50,323 --> 00:19:53,893
But I am kind of
in a silly mood.
481
00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:55,595
I was under the
distinct impression
482
00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:56,629
that you flushed it all.
483
00:19:56,663 --> 00:19:57,997
Oh, Zack.
484
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:01,434
Poor, innocent Zack.
485
00:20:01,468 --> 00:20:02,902
You never flush it all, dude.
486
00:20:02,935 --> 00:20:05,938
You always keep some,
in case there's a war.
487
00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:11,978
I saw a rat
that had a cat in its mouth.
488
00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:14,814
Nick, you came to me!
489
00:20:14,847 --> 00:20:16,449
Wait, I'm mad at you.
490
00:20:16,483 --> 00:20:17,850
Wait, I'm hungry.
491
00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:19,686
Wait, I'm mad at you.
492
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:21,854
That outfit looks
even better in person.
493
00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:23,323
Is that an olive branch?
494
00:20:23,356 --> 00:20:25,358
Because I like what
you're wearing, too.
495
00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:26,926
My Wednesday vest?
496
00:20:26,959 --> 00:20:28,328
But it's Friday.
497
00:20:28,361 --> 00:20:29,762
I miss you.
498
00:20:29,796 --> 00:20:31,831
I miss you, too.
499
00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:34,901
I'm sorry I've been so stubborn
about the baby thing,
500
00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:37,304
but if you feel
like you're ready,
501
00:20:37,337 --> 00:20:39,772
then I am, too.
502
00:20:39,806 --> 00:20:42,909
We're ready!
503
00:20:42,942 --> 00:20:44,010
Oh, Nick.
504
00:20:44,043 --> 00:20:48,715
Oh, I have a wonderful feeling
I made this happen.
505
00:20:55,888 --> 00:20:57,324
Unbelievable.
506
00:21:00,660 --> 00:21:02,429
So you made me feel bad
507
00:21:02,462 --> 00:21:03,963
for questioning
why you liked me,
508
00:21:03,996 --> 00:21:06,733
but I think it's clear now
that I was right because...
509
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:08,000
Billie...
Oh. Oh, what?
510
00:21:08,034 --> 00:21:10,437
You don't want her to know that
you're only going out with her
511
00:21:10,470 --> 00:21:11,270
'cause she's pregnant?
512
00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:14,507
I'm sorry, I just think
you need to know
513
00:21:14,541 --> 00:21:15,908
that you're on a date
with a pregnophile.
514
00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:17,777
Billie, Billie,
Billie, Billie.
515
00:21:17,810 --> 00:21:19,479
This is my
sister Denise.
516
00:21:20,847 --> 00:21:22,682
And she ain't pregnant.
517
00:21:22,715 --> 00:21:25,952
Captioned by
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access.wgbh.org
36682
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