All language subtitles for clipped.2024.s01e01.2160p.web.h265-successfulcrab_Subtitles01.ENG

[assistant]
Mr. Sterling always says,

"Some teams sell success.
The Clippers sell hope."

What he means is
we usually lose.

He says a lot of things
he shouldn’t.

[team owner] Who makes the game?
Do I make the game?

Or do they make the game?

I give them food and clothes
and cars and...

[assistant] VIPs are like that.

- Hello?
- [employee] Mr. Sterling,
it’s out.

[assistant] They think
they’re surrounded by nobodies.

What do you mean it’s out?
What’s out?

[employee] Uh, the recording
of you and V.

[assistant] But most of the big
stars started out as nobodies.

Michael Jordan was cut from
his high school basketball team.

[staff member] Coach.

[assistant]
Einstein was expelled.

It’s the tape. It’s out.

[assistant] And they got big
in the olden days.

Now anyone can blow up
in an instant.

So the dangerous thing
about disrespecting a nobody,

especially one with big,
big potential like me...

[newscaster] ...the owner
of the Los Angeles Clippers

is facing controversy tonight

over racist comments he made
in audio leaked to TMZ.

[inhales deeply]

[assistant] I’m listening.

[driver] Clippers offices?

Sure you don’t wanna
circle around to departures,

fuck off back to Boston?

Come find me at Staples
so I can enjoy
the abject shock on your face

when the Clippers bring home
a title this season.

- O-Okay. We’ll see.
- Yeah.

Hey, I’m just messing with you,
man. You’re a legend.

It’s an honor to squire
the great Doc Rivers
into LA in my Prius.

Thanks, man.

Hey, can I ask you a very,
very personal question?

- Off the record.
- Yeah.

Why did a championship
coach like you

take a job with the
dogshittiest team in sports?

I like a challenge.

[sighs]

[radio host] Remember
last winter’s spooky story

of the body found
in a hotel water tower?

Well, the LA County coroner
finally revealed
the cause of death today:

accidental drowning.

And another fabulous day
at the beaches, a high of 82...

- [employee] Our fearless leader!
- [Doc] Andy.

Sorry they forgot to get
a car to LAX for you, Doc.

Interns.

Um, so the press conference
isn’t until this afternoon,

so what can we get you
to eat for lunch?

Sushi, Indian,
Indian-sushi fusion?

- Get me a bento box.
- Right.

Um, Mr. Roeser...
[whispers indistinctly]

Ah! Apparently we ordered
a deli platter.

Deli platter okay?

You know Gary Sacks, right?

The Sack Attack. [chuckles]

EVP of player personnel
and a 19-year vet.

- Glad to have you back, Coach.
- Yeah, thanks.

Uh, okay, uh, Digital.
[groans] HR.

Uh... Oh, and if it, uh,
breaks, beeps or freezes,

your eggheads in IT.

And here’s King Egghead
right here.

Sandy, how long
you been with us?

Twenty-five years, Mr. Roeser.

Twenty-five years.

Uh... Oh! Your wordsmiths
in Communications,

Seth Burton, VP.

Coach, I’m Seth. I, uh, I enjoy
Scandinavian crime fiction.

- I’ve been--
- Seth, let me interrupt you.

So, 43 years as a franchise,

and the Clippers have never won
a championship. Ever.

How many times have you made it
to the second round
of the playoffs?

Just the second round?

Two-- U-Uh, twice.

[laughs] That’s crazy.

No offense, but you guys are the
worst organization in sports.

You’re not here
to retire with a gold watch.

You’re here to win.

Why the fuck are you
talking to me about longevity

when you haven’t won anything?

Makes me very uncomfortable.

We are going to win
a championship this year,

and it will change your life.

Where’s my favorite coach?

- Doc!
- Donald.

Bet you’re glad
you’re out of Boston.

- [Andy chuckles]
- I love Boston.

[Donald] Did Doc tell you
when he used to play for me?

Well, you were here, Sandy,
minus about 20 pounds of ya.

Listen, Donald, I’d like to
get into some personnel issues.

Good. Andy, you wanna--

Oh, yeah, oh. Come on.
Back to work.

Eh, still not one
for small talk.

[Doc] I wanna make a play
for JJ Redick.

He’s got two offers already,

so we’ll have to spend
$30 million for four years.

Uh, who is this JJ?
I mean, where’s he from?

Free agent out of Milwaukee.
He’s the shooter we need.

[Andy] My sources say
JJ’s signing with Minnesota,

and Chris Paul
already broke the piggy bank.

Uh, he’s very hard to please.

[Doc] Did your sources also tell
you Chris is our team captain?

Look, we can afford Redick.

What we can’t afford
is to get bounced

out of the playoffs again
in the first round.

[Donald] Okay, Doc. Okay.

My coach knows best.

Look at you.

Is that Havarti?

Mmm. Help yourself too, sweetie.

Are you trading DeAndre Jordan?

Excuse me?

This is V, my assistant.

I heard
the last coach wanted to.

He’s expensive
and he can’t shoot.

Well, the last coach got fired.

DeAndre’s gonna be the best
defender in the league,

and personnel decisions are
none of your damn business, V.

[Andy] Mmm. Yep, um, Doc,
let’s, uh--

let’s get you fitted
with a Clippers polo.

First day, so don’t feel bad,

but, uh, Mr. Sterling gets upset

when people don’t
call him Mr. Sterling.

Well, I’ll call him Mr. Sterling
when he calls me Mr. Rivers.

- [Andy] Where are you going?
- [Doc] Bringing JJ to LA.

[guest] Is Sterling gonna freak
if I order an entrée?

[Doc] Come on.

When you played
for the Clippers,

did you have to buy
your own socks?

- No.
- I read one time

Sterling tried
to fire the trainer

and get the coach
to tape up the players.

I read he likes losing.

His philosophy being people
come to the games either way

and he doesn’t have to
spend on salary.

You look at the Internet a lot.

Well, I’m not cheap, and I’m not
going to tape up your ankles.

- [chuckles]
- We’ll match any offer,
including the socks.

JJ, you’re
the perimeter shooter I need.

You’ll be a full-time starter,
and we are winning a title.

I’m down the road
with Minnesota.

Yeah, but are you
the missing ingredient

to a championship team
in Minnesota?

[reporters clamoring]
Coach! Coach!

Thanks, ladies and gentlemen.
Bill, what do you got for me?

Doc, any truth to the rumor

that you’re on the verge of
closing a deal with JJ Redick?

[reporters murmuring]

- [phone buzzes]
- [automated voice] The white
zone is for loading and...

- Andy.
- [Andy] Happy Fourth.

Plans with the family?

Yeah, just got back to Orlando.

Kids are in town.

My wife invited--

Wait, why are you calling me?

[Donald] Hello?

Hello, Andy?

It’s Doc too, Donald.

[Andy] Mr. Sterling, I told Doc
you changed your mind on JJ,
and he’s--

- He doesn’t--
- What’s going on, Donald?

[Donald] I’ve been talking to
people, and they don’t like JJ.

What people? Your dry cleaner?

[Donald] That’s funny.
He’ll find another home.

[Gary] Mr. Sterling,
the other teams in play for JJ
filled their slots.

[Donald] Is that Gary?

Gary, if you say one more
fucking word, you’re fired.

What have these people been
telling you about JJ, Donald?

[Donald] He’s white.

I didn’t know he was white.

What the fuck?

What does him being white
have anything to do with it?

[Donald groans]

What is that?
Are you just making a sound?

[Andy] The offer to JJ
isn’t papered yet, so legally
we should be covered.

[Gary] We can’t take back
a verbal offer.

It’s bad for
the team’s reputation.

[Donald] Gary, get off the call!
You’re fired.

We renege on JJ now, Donald,
we’ll never get
another free agent again.

[Donald] Doc, Doc, Doc.
Don’t worry about that.
I have a good reputation.

No, I have a reputation.

[Donald]
What’s your reputation?

I’m the one. Everyone loves me.

- No, they don’t.
- [Donald] Excuse me?

Who are you talking to, you
fucking brat? I’m your owner.

You’re not my owner,
because I quit.

[Donald] Quiet!
You’re on a choke chain, you--

[sighs]

[grunts, sighs]

[phone rings]

[Andy] Okay. Good talk.
JJ’s approved.

What the fuck, Andy?

Hey, look, I know
people think Mr. Sterling’s
some kind of joke.

He wears socks and sandals,
I get it.

But he built an empire.
Maybe he deserves some respect.

Anyways, don’t make plans
for Labor Day.

We’ll see you
at his white party.

His what?

When it’s hot like this,
I put my undies in the icebox

and drink a cold Clipper-tini,
courtesy of Donald T. Sterling.
[chuckles]

[Doc] It’s a beautiful home.

We’d love to get you
into a condo

until your family can join you
from Florida.

Donald and I own 150 properties
around town.

Hotels, a Malibu yacht club,

half the apartments
in Beverly Hills.

We know everybody
in real estate.

Or if you need a decorating eye
or a housekeeper,

I find them
for a lot of the wives.

Very kind of you, Shelly.
Very kind.

Yeah. Think about it.

All right.

[guest] Hi!

[Shelly] Come on, Doc.

[guests murmuring, laughing]

[Shelly chuckles]

Our little way
to kick off the season.

Where’s Donald?

I’ll go find him.

- Don’t be shy.
- Yeah.

Natural light, am I right?

Uh, these-- These both looked
white at home. [chuckles]

Let’s give a big hand
to the fabulous Clippers

and America!

USA!

[guests cheering]

Let’s give a big hand to one
of the finest athletes ever,

the leader of this team,

el hombre himself,
Blake Griffin.

[guest 1] I love you, Blake!

[Donald]
And our fabulous new coach.

You’re going to
fall in love with him.

Let’s hear it for Doc Rivers.

- [guest 2] Yeah, Doc!
- [player] Come on, Coach!

- [laughs]
- [guests cheering]

Thank you, Donald.
Thank you, Shelly.

[guest 3] Have you two met?

[guest 4] Yeah.

[guest 5] All right. [laughs]

Yeah.

Ubuntu.

- Ubuntu.
- Your motto with the Celtics.

- Yeah.
-"I am great through others."

I use it at corporate retreats.
It’s a game changer.

- It is. It is.
- Yeah.

Bad boy!
Hogging Blake all to yourself.

I see a lot of pretty girls
around here, Blake.

- You’re pretty too, honey.
- Oh.

[Donald] Come, come,
come, come, come.

This is our star, Blake Griffin.

[guest] Oh,
needs no introduction.

Hello, Blake.

- Good to meet you.
- [guest] You look younger
in person.

Um, yummy.
Am I drooling? [laughs]

- You’re hard-core Type-A, right?
- Yeah.

Got an obsessive personality.
You don’t wanna see my closet.

Not a hair outta place.
That’s the type of energy
we need on this team.

Look. Look at DeAndre.

Two cosmos and a smile.
You ain’t gon’ see me smile
till we win.

One of you guys
wanna tap Blake out?

You don’t get led by the hand
unless you wanna be led
by the hand. You feel me?

Don, come meet JJ.
Over here with Chris.

JJ, I am so happy
that you’re joining us.

And are you gonna smile,
finally,

now that you have your coach?

That’s called
a game face, Donald.

And why aren’t you boys talking
to all these beautiful girls?

’Cause I love my wife.

Are you all right
with Donald showing you off
in front of folks like this?

Yeah.

I don’t know. When he does it, I
just kinda pretend like my hand

is somebody else’s hand
and drift away a little bit.

Mm-hmm.

Any preexisting tension on
the team I need to know about?

Nobody can stand
the sound of Chris’s voice,

but all the players agree
with me about it,

so I wouldn’t say
it’s a problem.

Okay.

Doc, it is a privilege
to watch you mingle.

I knew we were gonna have
a Donald problem,
but Blake and Chris?

Oh, yeah, no.

- They hate each other.
- Yeah.

[sighs]

Keep the energy up.

And push the drink.

We over-ordered on the gin.

Hang on, honey. There.

Oh, not so much broccoli, honey.
It sticks in your teeth. Hmm?

- So sorry we’re late, Shelly.
- [Shelly] You’re not
late at all.

[engine revs]

[singer] ♪ Reggae’s expanding
With Sly and Robbie ♪

♪ Stepping in a rhythm
To a Kurtis Blow ♪

♪ Who wants to think
When your feet just go? ♪

♪ Hip and a hop
And a hippity-hop ♪

Are you even watching
what’s happening
with this Obamacare mess?

What’s next, free facelifts?

It’s the rise of the takers.

We’re falling behind
in the world in innovation,
in science...

- In space.
- In space.

These people,
they don’t make anything.

They don’t grow our economy.

They just sit around
watching the Kardashians,

and they say, "Oh, gee!
Look at those girls." [chuckles]

They haven’t worked a day,
and they have this lifestyle.

But you can’t just show up
and say, "Gimme."

- Oh, my God.
It’s the Electric Slide!
- [guest] Come on!

["Electric Boogie
(The Electric Slide)" playing]

Let’s just not look.

[friend 1] If that’s
a personal assistant,
I’m Tinker Bell.

Where did Donald even meet her?

Donald’s city council friend
called and said,

"There’s a beautiful
mixed-race girl in jail
with no one to bail her out,"

and I thought...
[chuckles] ...he’d find her
very interesting.

They met at a Super Bowl party.

Let me set her straight.

[friend 2] The problem is Donald
following his little captain.

[sighs]

I fermented a tea.

- I’ll bring it to you tomorrow.
- Oh.

It’s hibiscus.

[Shelly] V, honey!
Thank you for coming.

And thank you for helping Donald
these past few years,

driving him around and all that.

Don’t worry about it.

You know, our lifestyle
can be a lot of fun,

but the white party,
that’s work too.

Donald likes to be the first
in the conga line, so to speak,

uh, but he counts on us
to maintain a certain image.

- Do you know what I mean?
- Definitely.

I’ve been helping Mr. Sterling
a lot with his image.

Right.

What do you mean?

He speaks from the heart.

That’s what we love
about him, right?

But we’re working
on his consistency.

[Donald] There’s my hostess
with the mostest.

Fabulous, honey.

How can V afford a Ferrari?
And why is it red?

I don’t know. I mean, she owned
some cars. She traded ’em.

Now there’s a Ferrari.

Why do you care? You wanted
her to have nice things.

I said if she’s going to be
your assistant,

she can’t dress like a hoochie.

I don’t like the way
she looks at you.

Whatever she does for you, fine.

But why--

why show off in front of
our friends, our team?

I’m curious.

- If you’re so curious, ask her.
- I did.

She said she’s working on
your consistency.

- Oh. Right.
- Well, what on earth
does that mean?

I’m forgetful, you know that.
She keeps a record.

An audio record.

She’s taping you?

Honey, I hate driving
to Beverly Hills at night.

I need to go home.
I’ve been standing all day.

My foot is hurting.

I’ll tell V to look at me
differently, okay?

Did you have fun?

[V] Yeah. Did you?

[Donald] Yes.

[V] Seat belt.

- [phone rings]
- [Doc] Hey, Ty,

what time am I sitting down
with Blake and Chris?

[Ty] You aren’t.

[Doc] Oh, fuck.

Blake’s shooting
a Kia commercial.

Chris has one
for State Farm.

You know, where his twin
sells insurance? [chuckles]

How do they come up with those?
[clears throat]

You wanna go to them?

[Shelly] What’s going on
at North Rodeo?

[manager] The tenant
with the reptiles?

Oh, she says her asthma’s
acting up because of mold.

Mold? It’s probably her turtle.

I want a happy building.
Let’s help her relocate.

Offer her place to Ms. Kwon
and charge the turtle woman
for new carpet.

[Donald] My bride.

Oh, hi, Mrs. Sterling.
We’re going down to parking.

Where are you off to?

- Uh--
- Um, Mr. Sterling has
the dentist,

and then we’re
visiting grant candidates
for the Sterling Foundation.

Homeless Rising,
Para Los Niños.

Those sound very far east.

We have Nobu with the Lasordas
this afternoon.

Thank you for reminding me.

♪ I love, I love,
I love my calendar girl ♪

- [chuckles]
- [phone chimes]

This elevator wants to go down.

Hey, can you do pick-up
and take the boys to baseball?

Mr. Sterling’s taking forever.

[person] I’m still at work.

I can’t get to the school
and the post office.

I’ll get the transfer
application tomorrow.

Due means due.

The transfer application
has to go in today.

[person speaking Spanish]

Maybe we keep the kids
where they are.

It’s better not to change
their routine.

You might not get
the duplex anyway.

Just get the transcripts, Lucy,
and the teacher references.

We’re going to meet
the realtor now.

I’ll make sure
we can use the address.

[Donald] No ticket. Good girl.

Why was it two hours? I thought
it was only a cleaning.

Cracked filling, he said.

Oh, he drilled through
my very soul.

Should we go
straight to the open house?

What open house?

The duplex near
the Beverly Center, remember?

The one with
the white fireplace.

We don’t have time for that.
Go to Sunset. Go.

I don’t see why we have time
for this and not the open house.

If you were
punctual this morning,

we wouldn’t be in a crunch.

We’ll go next Tuesday.

They’re taking offers this week.

What do you want me to do,
stop time?

Fine, I’ll go without you.

You like showing off
a little backside, don’t you?

Turn around, show me.

Is this the one we got
at the Champs-Elysees?

We got it on Canon.

What do you need
a house for anyway?

You spend all your time
at my place.

By myself, while you go off
to Mrs. Sterling’s.

You’re mad ’cause I’m
eating with her, huh?

Why don’t we ever do that?
Go out with Tommy Lasorda?

You wanna go out
with Tommy Lasorda?

Okay, okay.
Here. Gimme my phone.

[line ringing]

[Andy] Mr. Sterling.

Andy, get me two of the best
tickets for the Dodgers game,

plus car service.

- Sure thing.
And where did you--
- Okay.

I’ll go say hi to Tommy,
I’ll come back and pick you up.

We’ll miss an inning, so what?

You happy?

[realtor] Is your husband
meeting you this time?

Oh, business in Dubai.

What do you know
about Hancock Park Elementary?

Well, Redfin rates it a seven,

so for LAUSD, it may as well
be Juilliard, right?

[both chuckle]

But, uh, most people do private.

Are you planning a family?

We have foster kids we’re
in the process of adopting.

Two boys.

Hmm. Oh, well, let me know
if you have questions.

Thanks.

[phone chimes]

[Blake] Honestly, I’m hurt.

Chris comes out
from New Orleans,
suddenly it’s his team?

What has he done to earn it?

I mean, when I got drafted,
this team was a joke.

Like, fans were
going home at halftime
because they knew we’d lose.

Nobody had expectations for us.

I’m a leader
because I’m the best.

And I’m the best because God
gave me the tools to achieve.

Eat the cookies last,
baby. Okay?

Eat five more carrots
and you can have the cookie.

I put us on the map,
I put in the hard hours.

I know in Boston you had
the whole Ubuntu thing.

"I’m great through others."
And I’m with that.

I’m trying to teach these guys
how to succeed

even when they don’t wanna
hear me out,

but Blake only cares
about Blake being great.

I’m the only reason
that we have any chance
of winning this thing.

"Me, me, me." That’s all I hear.

- It’s really unbecoming, man.
- [sighs]

Chris can’t shut up,
that’s his style.

What’s it got to do with you?

His team, your team.
Uh-uh, it’s our team.

You keep bitching with your
little State Farm mustache,

we damn sure
won’t go the distance.

You wanna be a leader,
you better stop talking smack.

Nobody’s gonna love you less
because Chris is captain.

- [sighs]
- Now, go get ready
for your close-up.

All right, Coach. [sighs]

- I hear you, Coach.
- Okay.

Stop staring
at my mustache, man. Huh.

Check out this dude’s eyes.

That’s the wisdom
of the Jurassic right there.

[chuckles] But how are you gonna
take that dinosaur on the road?

You need something little,
like this.

Fuck a gecko.

Chinese water dragon is
the bonsai tree
of the reptile world.

Helps focus the mind and tune
out all that other bullshit.

Doc say that shit to you too,
lecturing about
your free throws?

He ain’t lecture me.
He said if I focus,
I could be a star in my role.

So I get a beat down,
you get a pep talk?

You wanna help me get centered,
little buddy?

You have the biggest heart
and I love you so much,

and you are so strong.

You take such an incredible
amount of shit from everyone,

- and you wake up every day
with a smile.
- [guests laugh]

And I know you’re
gonna make the most...

- Hey.
- [Andy] V, it’s Andy.

Mr. Sterling unfortunately can’t
join you for the game tonight.

But if you’re still waiting
at his house--

[Kris Jenner] This is--
All these people are here
because you are so loved.

We celebrate you, Kim.

[guests cheering]

[Kris Jenner] Congratulations.

I hate baseball.
You can’t see anyone’s faces.

Least he got us car service.

So is he not
buying you the duplex?

- He says he needs to
see it first.
- Yeah, that’s a no.

Deja, he didn’t say no.

Nobody in LA says no.

They go, "Let’s keep talking,"
or they just ghost.

I promised my sister
the upper unit

so she can help with the kids.
It’s a good school district.

Damn, girl. I hope
you didn’t tell him all that.

My experience with these men,

they get horny off
the sexy things money can buy.

Your foster kids’ education?
Kind of a boner jam.

Well, I don’t know what to do.
I have no credit.

Everything he gives me is gifts.

- I need a financial advisor.
- Mmm.

Magic Johnson is over there.

What a cutie.

How come famous people
glow like that?

Usually it’s not happiness.

- Donald hates him.
- Hates Magic?

Why? That’s like
hating ice cream.

I don’t know. He’s a Laker,
he’s Black and successful.

Daddy is insecure.

If I were you,
I’d use that to my advantage.

[groaning] Ah. Ah.

We had the soft food
conversation, Donald.

You bite down wrong, even a
Dodger Dog can knock out a temp.

- What Dodger Dog?
- Weren’t you
at the game last night?

I figured you introduced
your assistant to Magic.

Here.

V and I follow each other.

Check out Magic. [chuckles]

He’s got a chick on each arm.

So cool.

Why would you do that?

Are you stupid or something?

You wanna broadcast to the world

that you walk around
with a man like that?

I’m not broadcasting anything!

Then why are you taking pictures
with minorities? Why?

You told me
you were going to remove those.

- [V sighs]
- You said
"Yes, I understand you."

I mean, you change
from day to day.

If my girl can’t do what I want,
I don’t want the girl.

- Thanks.
- [line ringing]

[automated voice]
You have three new voicemails.

[caller] Hey,
we keep missing each other.

I had a late meeting
at Spencer’s school.

Nothing you need to know.

[Donald] Doc, hello? I--
I didn’t hear a beep.

Uh, listen.

Chris, uh, he’s always whining
to the refs.

Shake it off and play the game.

You’ll tell him in a way
that he’ll understand.

Oh, brother, did you see
Rihanna at the game last night?

No bra, nipple piercings
on full display.

Why do girls do that?

Don’t they lose
all the fabulous sensation?

LeVar Burton?

[groans, sighs]

I didn’t realize you lived here.

In the sauna?

- In LA. [laughs]
- [laughing]

You know the Enterprise
isn’t real, right?
And I’m not actually blind.

- All right.
All right. [chuckles]
- [laughing]

- It’s all good. All good.
- [sighs] Ah. Mmm.

[both sigh]

You know, I-I-- I hope
you don’t mind my saying so,

but I’m kinda surprised
you came here.

Yeah, a lot of people were.

Just feels different
than I thought it would.

Played for the Clippers back
in ’91 under Donald Sterling.

Don’t know how much
you know about him.

I knew it was fucked up here.

I just didn’t know
I was inheriting a team of
whiny little bitches.

I guess that’s got
something to do with Donald.

But you thought you could
come back and win a crown
for the clown?

As a returning conqueror, yeah.

And maybe I deluded myself
a little bit.

Oh, I had it so good in Boston.

It’s one of the best
organizations in sports.

Everybody knows that...

and that’s the problem.

[sighs] Winning there
didn’t feel like enough.

What is enough?
Hmm? [sniffs, sighs]

I’m sorry, honey.

I’m sorry too.

So this is about
your apartment, right?

It’s a duplex.

Excuse me. Two apartments.

So you wanna punish me

’cause I didn’t go
to your stupid open house.

You can’t be anyone in LA
if you don’t own a piece of it.

- You taught me that.
- Is that so, my eager pupil?

You’re my girl.
I’ll give you the whole city.

[grunts]

[moans]

[groans]

[sighs]

Oh, that’s good.

[mumbling]

- Oh-ho-ho.
This is my Pokémon drawer.
- Can we have the upstairs?

Well, the upstairs is
for Lucy for now,

but if you get straight A’s
for the next 10 years,
it’s all yours.

[child] Ten years? In ten years,
I’ll be a celebrity chef.

- Ooh.
- [realtor] Ooh.

- Just--
- [V] Okay, yeah.

[realtor]
Congratulations, Miss Stiviano.

- You’re a homeowner.
- [V chuckles] Thank you.

[Doc] Folks gave me
shit for taking this job.

You Google yourselves,
they make fun of you too.

Only 6% of the people
in this city

say the Clippers are
their favorite team,

and even they’ve been watching
our every move this season,

waiting for us
to crush their dreams again.

This franchise has never even
made it to the Western finals.

That means there is
historical significance
to what we are doing here.

This season, we’re making
winning look easy, but it’s not.

- From tip-off,
every second counts.
- [all] Yeah.

[Doc] We stay in that headspace,
nothing can stop us
from winning a ring.

I know, people say
the franchise is cursed.

There’s no magic
power to defeat.

All it is: we got a bad boss.

[fans cheering]

[Doc] It’s no secret.

Donald is like a norovirus
on a cruise ship,

making everybody sick.

Taking personnel advice from
some loudmouth on the street.
[chuckles]

Tossing off retrograde nonsense

that’d get the rest of us
fired on the spot.

Incompetent leadership
like that

doesn’t exactly
inspire team spirit.

For 30 years, it’s been
impossible for this franchise

to budge under the weight
of that man.

But our team is different.
You can feel it.

- [Clippers] Clips!
- [Doc] A Cinderella story
in the making

with no fairy godmother.

We’re earning
our ticket to the ball.

We’re ignoring the shit talk.

We embrace
mind-numbing repetition.

That’s why we’re successful.

Life will be boring,
but that’s good

’cause there’s a lot of road
before the playoffs,

and a thousand people
are gonna rattle your cage.

They cannot change your result.

Our owner cannot
change your result.

We have to stay perfect,

and I’m talking about
Obama perfect.

- Yes! Yes! Whoo! [cheering]
- [fans cheering]

[commentator]
The love! The cheer!

Oh, this young team is
fast becoming a title favorite.

Andy, where’s V
sitting tomorrow?

[Andy] Courtside,
with you and Mr. Sterling.

Can’t you put her
somewhere else?

Girl, if I’d known
you were gonna bring me
all the way up here,

I would’ve brought my glasses.

Oh, luxury box.

Pretty exclusive, huh?

So is solitary confinement.

[cheering continues]

The family room
has gotten crazy.

All us wives
been upset about it.

Half the people in there
I don’t know.

They’re just
season ticket holders, honey.

When you’re winning,
everybody wants to be near you.

[chuckles] At least there’s
no groupies in the pressroom.

[sighs] Oh, this momentum,
right? It’s amazing.

[attendee chuckles]

I like your purse.

- Thank you. I like yours too.
- Thanks.

I’ve been wanting one in white.
Mr. Sterling gave it to me.

Huh. Hmm.

- You can’t go in the pressroom.
- [V] Shelly goes
into the pressroom.

Don’t be stupid.
Who cares about going
in the pressroom anyway?

You wanna talk to reporters?
They’re a parasite class.

You’ve had other girls.

I need to know I’m different.

Part of your life for real.

- Part of your team.
- Jesus Christ.

I don’t have anything else.

I don’t have time
to work on a plan B
because I’m always with you.

Bergamot hand soap. Nice.

- You been wearing
your orthotics?
- Have you?

I refuse to be with a man that’s
ashamed to be seen with me.

I can go back to school.

I had two food trucks
when we met.

- I’m entrepreneurial.
- [podiatrist] Just a pinch.

- I may have to struggle,
but-- Oh, honey.
- [groans]

It’s okay.

Does that hurt?

- Oh, no. Stimulates the nerves.
- [stimulator beeping]

Good. Well, now you can
get the fuck out of here.

[beeping continues]

V...

I can’t stand the thought of you
near a food truck.

All right? You’re gorgeous.

How could you say
I’m ashamed of you?

I love you.

Of course you’re
a part of my life.

Silly rabbit.

[V chuckles]

[commentator]
And a very happy birthday

to the fabulous V Stiviano

from her special friend, DTS.

Just ’cause somebody’s
desperate for attention

doesn’t mean you give it to ’em.

- Right, Coach?
- Yeah.

Noted, Doc.

Okay.

[Shelly] Strutting the court
in that green dress

while our team is playing?
Really?

My name is on that floor, Andy.

Uh... Uh, apparently, it’s her
birthday, and she only has one.

Thank God.

Uh, but, hey,
at least we’re winning.

Hello?

- Oh.
- That’s what I’m talking about.

Did you see that green dress?
What the fuck was that about?

You ever seen somebody
runway walk the court
in an evening gown?

This year’s Oscar for
nastiest side piece goes to...

I wish I had tripped on it.
Could’ve sued her
for millions of dollars.

I ain’t see no green dress,

but I did see DeAndre finally
decide to put in some work.

See what happens
when you give your boy a shot?

Excuse me? You wanna say that so
the rest of the class can hear?

[DeAndre] Sure.

- Hi. I’m Chris Paul,
and I’m small.
- [all chuckle]

And even when
people are successful,

I make them feel bad about it.

- My eardrums, bro.
I got tinnitus.
- [all laugh]

My name is DeAndre,

and my best friends are
Blake Griffin and a lizard.

[all laughing]

- [Donald] Hello, boys.
Having fun?
- [player] What the--

I know we are,
because you’re winners.

- Who the fuck are these people?
- Assholes.

- [Donald] Come. Come, say hi.
- I’ll just wait here.

Never snuck into
the little boys’ room before?

- They don’t mind.
It’s a celebration!
- [player 1] You see this shit?

- Andy, you’re blocking
the entrance.
- [patron] Great game.

- That was amazing.
- [Donald] Having fun? Good.

Uh, Blake, I want you to say hi
to, uh, to Phillip.

He’s by far the greatest
oral surgeon around.

And this is my assistant,
V, with the beautiful,
uh, birthday gown.

Hi. We’re acquainted.

Look at this guy.
Look at this mug on this guy.

This could be
the next Antonio Banderas...

- Antonio Banderas?
- He thinks Blake’s Latino.

Look at DeAndre.

Magnificent DeAndre.

What did they say about him
when I drafted him?

Uh, they said he had
a high bust potential.

[player 1] What the fuck
do you know?

- [Donald] Go ahead,
Blake, make a muscle.
- [Chris] Excuse me?

This ain’t
the Statue of Liberty.

- Can I get some space?
- They’ll pixelate it.

Here’s a question.

How long are your arms, huh?

What’s-- What’s your wingspan?

Um...

No, come on.
You know what your wingspan is.

- You can speak.
- [Doc] What the fuck is that?

A parade?

Hey, Doc, come on in.

We’re just here
telling these guys how
fabulous they were tonight.

- Okay. Everybody out.
- [player 2] Doc!

Calm down.
This is my fucking team.

If you don’t like it,
stay in your office.

[Doc] I’ll calm down when
you get the fuck out of here.

[Donald] Okay, Papa Bear.

I told you we shouldn’t.

- Hey, Andy.
- What?

- This is not a club.
- I know.

I have never seen
anything like this in my life.

- Alvin, have security
clear the hallway.
- You got it, man.

Doc, look. The season ticket
holders are used to
a certain amount of access.

Yeah? And I’m used to
a certain amount of people
acting fucking normal.

Okay.

[commentator] It’s the big
Christmas Day game.

[Donald] That’s a flagrant foul.
Did you see that?

The Green kid
elbowed Blake right in the neck.

Somebody should teach him
how to behave.

Did you finish reading?

No. Well, I’m on--

You give Blake a technical?

You lousy--

[phone buzzes]

Is that V?

Tell her it’s Christmas.

Donald, you have to sign it
before the kids get back
from the movie.

- Told you I haven’t
finished reading it.
- It’s boilerplate language.

A simple update
to the family trust.

Did you go to law school
when I wasn’t looking?

The trust is fine.

We’re getting older.

I wanna make sure
nobody can take advantage.

You think Gladys has
a long game?

Anyone. It could be anyone.

And this "anyone"
who wants to take advantage,
what are they gonna do?

I can’t imagine
what they would do.

Rob us blind,
put herself in our will.

[phone buzzing]

Would you please
put that thing on silent?

It’s on silent!

[buzzing continues]

Wait a minute.

Here.

There you go, Rochelle. Happy?

What are you, a basket case?
What do you want?

- [door closes]
- [Shelly sighs]

The jacket was a nice thought.

"Extra large."

[sighs]

[clerk] So, size four.

- [Deja] Crocodile?
- [V] I already have that one.

- [Shelly] Excuse me.
- [V] Cute, right?

- [Donald] Pink. Very nice.
- Yeah.

[Shelly] One sec.

I told you I like them all.

Really?

Oh, incoming. Incoming.

What are you doing?

Hi, sweetie. How are you?

We’re shopping for you.

- I don’t believe you.
- [chuckles]

I don’t shop here.

- This store is for old ladies.
- [Deja chuckles]

I picked that jacket out
for you. You didn’t like it?

What gives you the right
to spend our money?

Shelly, don’t make a scene.

You already made one.

You look ridiculous
sitting there

while these girls
swipe your card.

Nobody’s swiping.

What Mr. Sterling gives me
is a gift from the heart.

- A gift from the heart?
- Hmm.

A Ferrari is
a gift from the heart?

You’re a thief,
that’s what you are.

What would your
mother think of you?

Don’t talk
about my mother, witch.

V, don’t call names.

She’s the Wicked Witch
of the West.

Are you just going to sit there
while she threatens me?

Can we go? Okay?
Let’s go outside.

I don’t need to threaten you.
Mr. Sterling loves me.

I’m going to be
the next Mrs. Sterling.

You’re history.

You’re dust. [blows]

- [patron 1] Unbelievable.
- [patron 2] Right?

[patron 3] It’s a spicy aioli.
It’s really good.

[patrons murmuring]

What in the world?

♪ When you’re down
And troubled ♪

Oh!

♪ And you need
Some lovin’ care ♪

He bought her a house.

- [friend 1] No!
- He did.

He did.

I used a forensic-- a forensic--

I hired somebody
to follow the money.

- He bought her a duplex.
- [chuckles]

Is she going to be a landlord?

- My girlfriend lives
on the same street.
- [Shelly] Uh-huh.

- It’s a party house.
- Oh.

V has gangbangers over
every night,

playing loud music
and laughing.

But why is she called V?
Is she a singer?

[friend 2] It’s an alias.

She’s had other names.

Vanessa, Maria, Monica...

[laughs] Monica. That’s good.

I mean, if she lived in India,
she’d be an untouchable.

Now, now, David Duke.

Well, who would wanna
have sex with that?

They’re not having sex.

I’m sorry.

I thought I could get
the V situation under control.

You all know Donald has had
other assistants before.

Yeah. It’s never fun.

Usually, I don’t
have to look at ’em.

It’s a little bit
of respect I need.

But V-- she shops at my store,

she strolls onto my court
like I’m not even there.

- That happens when you turn 60.
- Mmm.

People cut in line
at the Gelson’s even when
your cart is right there.

Yeah. It’s been like that
my whole life.

Donald and I decided
on the name "Sterling" together.

We bought the Clippers together.

Every property we acquired,
we got together.

But it’s Donald’s first name
on all of our buildings.

It’s Donald they call
the owner of our team.

I tell myself
she couldn’t take my place,
but who would stop her?

No one knows I’m there.

But if you had been born
20 years later,

you would have done it
all on your own.

You are a double Virgo.

- [chuckles]
- You have plans
the day after tomorrow.

Eh...

- Look at your legs.
- [friend 2] Hmm.

- Perfection.
- [friend 2] Woo-woo!

You are going to live
another quarter of a century.

You deserve more
than a little bit of respect.

You deserve it all.

Working for Red Bull
must be so rewarding.

The Clippers are such a fit
for our mission,

- I just show up
and eat the chicken.
- [laughs]

So, what’s your role
with the organization?

Philanthropic Director of
the Donald T. Sterling
Charitable Foundation.

I work with corporate sponsors
such as yourself
and target grand recipients.

$10,000 to the
United Negro College Fund,

- $5,000 to the NAACP--
- 5,000? Wow.

In May, Mr. Sterling is
receiving a humanitarian award
from the president.

See?

- Well, the president
of the LA chapter.
- [chuckles]

Did-- Did he take
that ad out for himself?

Well, how does anyone know
about your achievements
if you don’t advertise them?

Everyone does it.

[process server] Ms. Stiviano?

Legal documents for you, ma’am.

Yikes.

[commentator] Oh, me, oh, my!

- Your LA Clippers
are going to the playoffs!
- [fans cheering]

[Doc] Whoever bet against us
is gonna be crying tonight.

Nothing changes!
Nothing changes!

We move the ball, we make our
shots, we keep our momentum.

- Yes? All right.
- [all murmuring]

- [Chris] Clippers on three.
- On three. One, two, three.

[all] Clippers!

[player] Yeah, baby.

Knock-knock.

Is everyone decent?

[commentator] The LA Clippers
thank you for your attendance

and encourage you
to arrive home safe.

[line ringing]

We are so proud.

[phone buzzing]

[Donald] JJ,
what a shooter you are.

And, DeAndre, I--
I love to see you shine.

[line ringing]

[commentator] Thank you
so much for your attendance.

The Clippers are
deeply grateful to all of you
for your support.

And Chris. Oh, Chris.

You are a fabulous leader.

Thank you for coming, Donald.
Shelly.

[V pants]

How can she sue me?

[pants]

V dropped me off.
I need to call her.

- I took care of V.
- Oh.

Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, oh, my God.