All language subtitles for Tiny - the life of Erin Blackwell (2016, HEVC, 1080p)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:36,079 You were in love with him. 2 00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:38,581 It was love. 3 00:00:38,665 --> 00:00:41,918 Wasn't love, Mary Ellen. I liked him. 4 00:00:45,088 --> 00:00:46,631 It was love. 5 00:00:46,715 --> 00:00:49,884 No, it wasn't love. I didn't know what love was. 6 00:00:49,968 --> 00:00:52,387 You were crazy about him. Admit it. 7 00:00:52,470 --> 00:00:54,472 I was. I liked him. 8 00:00:54,556 --> 00:00:55,765 More than that. 9 00:00:55,849 --> 00:00:58,476 No, it wasn't, because I didn't know what love was. 10 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:00,979 How could I know what love was? I was 14. 11 00:01:03,022 --> 00:01:05,400 A kid that don't know nothing. 12 00:01:06,985 --> 00:01:08,486 Was he good in bed? 13 00:01:08,570 --> 00:01:10,864 I refuse to answer that, Mary Ellen. 14 00:01:10,947 --> 00:01:12,657 Nosy-ass. 15 00:01:12,741 --> 00:01:15,744 - Do you know this camera's not on? - Oh, it is. 16 00:01:15,827 --> 00:01:18,079 No, it is. How do you know it's not on? 17 00:01:18,163 --> 00:01:20,373 'Cause there's no light there. 18 00:01:20,457 --> 00:01:22,417 Look at this picture here. 19 00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:24,836 Isn't it great? You still chew bubble gum? 20 00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:27,380 - No. - Do your kids? 21 00:01:27,464 --> 00:01:31,468 Yes. E'Mari loves gum. He'd rather have gum than candy. 22 00:01:31,551 --> 00:01:33,094 That's odd. 23 00:01:33,928 --> 00:01:37,348 Everyone loves that picture. Why do you think they love it? 24 00:01:37,432 --> 00:01:38,725 I don't know. 25 00:01:38,808 --> 00:01:41,227 What do you think it symbolizes to people? 26 00:01:41,311 --> 00:01:42,395 I don't know. 27 00:01:42,479 --> 00:01:44,439 Young girl, beautiful. 28 00:01:47,066 --> 00:01:48,359 Skinny. 29 00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:51,237 Skinny. 30 00:01:55,742 --> 00:01:58,995 That hat - That hat got passed around a lot. 31 00:01:59,078 --> 00:02:01,915 Martin has that on film. Everyone wanted to wear that hat. 32 00:02:01,998 --> 00:02:03,708 - Really? - Yeah. 33 00:02:07,128 --> 00:02:09,547 That was a cool hat. I liked it. 34 00:02:13,092 --> 00:02:15,678 I remember you got the dress in a secondhand shop, 35 00:02:15,762 --> 00:02:18,223 but the hat, I don't remember where that came from. 36 00:02:18,306 --> 00:02:21,768 - Right there on Pike Street. - It was on Pike Street, uh-huh. 37 00:02:21,851 --> 00:02:23,645 At the market. 38 00:02:28,817 --> 00:02:31,611 - Did you get into fights too? - Mm-mmm. 39 00:02:33,279 --> 00:02:34,405 No. 40 00:02:34,489 --> 00:02:37,450 Boy, I would have hated to have been hit by Patty. 41 00:02:37,534 --> 00:02:39,577 She had a punch, right? 42 00:02:39,661 --> 00:02:41,454 - I don't know. - Did she ever hit you? 43 00:02:41,538 --> 00:02:42,539 No. 44 00:02:44,999 --> 00:02:47,544 And that girl was bigger than she was. 45 00:02:48,628 --> 00:02:50,213 She didn't care. 46 00:02:51,130 --> 00:02:53,508 - Does that make you sad? - A little. 47 00:02:53,591 --> 00:02:55,218 Little Dewayne hung hisself. 48 00:02:55,301 --> 00:02:57,846 What do you remember of Dewayne? 49 00:02:59,305 --> 00:03:02,851 Oh, he just liked to be with the girls and... 50 00:03:05,103 --> 00:03:06,437 was happy. 51 00:03:10,316 --> 00:03:14,404 - So how old were you here? - I was fourth, fifth or sixth grade. 52 00:03:14,487 --> 00:03:16,197 - And here? - Fourteen. 53 00:03:16,281 --> 00:03:18,116 Is that when you first came out on the street? 54 00:03:18,199 --> 00:03:20,034 No, I came out when I was 13. 55 00:03:20,118 --> 00:03:23,705 So you had already been out a year. So you were tough already. 56 00:03:23,788 --> 00:03:25,456 - I wasn't tough. - No? 57 00:03:25,540 --> 00:03:27,041 - No. - What were you? 58 00:03:27,125 --> 00:03:31,170 I was just, uh - I was a scaredy-cat. 59 00:03:31,254 --> 00:03:35,550 I hated confrontations. I hated arguments. I did not like to fight. 60 00:03:35,633 --> 00:03:37,719 - Who's that? - Lou Lou. 61 00:03:37,802 --> 00:03:41,014 - Tell me about Lou Lou. - Lou Lou was a tough one. 62 00:03:42,265 --> 00:03:46,686 - Was she tougher than you? - Oh, yes. By far. 63 00:03:46,769 --> 00:03:48,271 - Did she like you? - Yeah. 64 00:03:48,354 --> 00:03:49,522 Did she love you? 65 00:03:49,606 --> 00:03:51,858 She always used to get after me about doing something. 66 00:03:51,941 --> 00:03:53,818 - She was great, wasn't she? - Yeah, she was. 67 00:03:53,902 --> 00:03:55,695 Special. A leader on the street. 68 00:03:55,778 --> 00:03:57,322 Miss her? 69 00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:59,157 - I do. - Think about her? 70 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,910 All the time. Shadow. 71 00:04:01,993 --> 00:04:03,828 What do you remember about Shadow? 72 00:04:03,912 --> 00:04:06,748 Tried to be a pimp. Wasn't for him. Sorry. 73 00:04:06,831 --> 00:04:10,376 - Why? - Look at him. He is not pimp style. 74 00:04:10,460 --> 00:04:12,045 What's "pimp style"? 75 00:04:12,128 --> 00:04:18,176 Back then, it was Black men with these long Jheri curls, nice suits on, 76 00:04:18,259 --> 00:04:20,553 fur coats, jewelry, 77 00:04:20,637 --> 00:04:23,431 riding in these big old Cadillacs. 78 00:04:23,514 --> 00:04:24,849 What Shadow doin'? 79 00:04:31,189 --> 00:04:34,233 You look like you really love your mom there. 80 00:04:35,151 --> 00:04:38,321 I mean, I do love my mom, but we just don't have a... 81 00:04:40,406 --> 00:04:42,575 A really close relationship. 82 00:04:44,118 --> 00:04:46,579 Do you think you missed that a lot as a kid? 83 00:04:48,206 --> 00:04:51,125 I don't really know how it would have been with my mom, 84 00:04:51,209 --> 00:04:54,963 'cause I never really had it, so I can't really say I miss it. 85 00:04:57,215 --> 00:04:58,800 That was in front of -. 86 00:04:58,883 --> 00:05:02,303 Oh, my God. I do not remember the name of the restaurant. 87 00:05:02,387 --> 00:05:05,682 Coffee Hut. How old do I look there? 88 00:05:05,765 --> 00:05:08,142 - Thirteen. - Do I? 89 00:05:08,226 --> 00:05:09,894 How old was Pat? 90 00:05:09,978 --> 00:05:13,856 My mom... I was 14, she was 35. 91 00:05:13,940 --> 00:05:16,484 - Did you love her then? - Well, yeah, I did. 92 00:05:16,567 --> 00:05:21,364 I still love my mom, but it's just not a close bond or anything. 93 00:05:23,574 --> 00:05:26,661 Pinky and Dora called me Tiny 94 00:05:26,744 --> 00:05:29,747 'cause I was exceptionally small. 95 00:05:29,831 --> 00:05:32,417 - Very tiny. - You don't know jack shit. 96 00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:34,836 - That's where I got my name. - Bullshit. 97 00:05:38,006 --> 00:05:40,550 I often wonder whatever happened to them. 98 00:05:40,633 --> 00:05:43,636 I'd like to see them again. 99 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:46,055 That's the first night I met you. 100 00:05:47,890 --> 00:05:50,143 You arrived at the Monastery. 101 00:05:50,226 --> 00:05:52,895 I don't remember that shirt I had on. 102 00:05:52,979 --> 00:05:55,356 Are you serious? That was the first night? 103 00:05:56,482 --> 00:05:59,569 - The first night that I talked to you? - Yeah. 104 00:05:59,652 --> 00:06:01,904 It was 1983. 105 00:06:01,988 --> 00:06:04,741 This was the first photograph I took of Tiny, 106 00:06:04,824 --> 00:06:07,869 taken in the parking lot of the Monastery nightclub. 107 00:06:10,121 --> 00:06:12,582 In that first brief encounter, 108 00:06:12,665 --> 00:06:15,793 I knew Tiny was going to be the star of my story. 109 00:06:17,462 --> 00:06:21,674 That chance meeting changed all of our lives. 110 00:06:21,758 --> 00:06:23,259 J'Lisa... 111 00:06:24,218 --> 00:06:28,264 Diamond Hermina Brianne Charles, get over here! 112 00:06:31,476 --> 00:06:34,687 - Come here! - I found a seashell. 113 00:06:34,771 --> 00:06:35,980 JuJu! 114 00:06:36,814 --> 00:06:39,317 JuJu Bee! Julian! 115 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:40,777 Yeah? 116 00:06:40,860 --> 00:06:44,697 This looks like it was just opened not too long ago. 117 00:06:44,781 --> 00:06:47,867 - There's more shells down here, J'Lisa. - Somebody killed it. 118 00:06:47,950 --> 00:06:49,660 The birds. 119 00:06:49,744 --> 00:06:51,496 Are you listening to this? 120 00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:54,290 I don't know why I wanted ten kids. 121 00:06:54,373 --> 00:06:56,334 I don't know why I picked that number. 122 00:06:56,417 --> 00:06:58,753 - Wow. - Put it in here. 123 00:06:58,836 --> 00:07:02,298 - You better not pick it up. - Here, you want this one? 124 00:07:02,381 --> 00:07:04,592 - It's still alive. - Wow. 125 00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:06,094 I feel it moving. 126 00:07:07,512 --> 00:07:09,430 Oh, don't scare me! 127 00:07:09,514 --> 00:07:11,516 Am I allowed to go by the water? 128 00:07:14,977 --> 00:07:18,397 Ouch! Something spit at me. 129 00:07:18,481 --> 00:07:20,983 It's a clam, I think. 130 00:07:21,067 --> 00:07:23,694 Oh, it's stinging my eyes. 131 00:07:23,778 --> 00:07:25,780 Ew. See, here's one of these worms. 132 00:07:25,863 --> 00:07:27,782 Always wanted five boys, five girls. 133 00:07:27,865 --> 00:07:32,120 Weird. Did you guys look under any of these rocks for crabs? 134 00:07:32,203 --> 00:07:34,872 And I got five boys and five girls. 135 00:07:34,956 --> 00:07:37,834 Do you want these shells? Ranaja? 136 00:07:37,917 --> 00:07:41,629 - I have six children that live with me... - And these mussels? 137 00:07:41,712 --> 00:07:45,341 - ...but I have ten kids. - That's the creature. People eat these. 138 00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:47,301 - Like, where? - In the restaurants. 139 00:07:47,385 --> 00:07:49,887 - What kind of restaurants? - Seafood restaurants, honey. 140 00:07:49,971 --> 00:07:51,556 - Are you gonna eat it? - Fuck no. 141 00:07:51,639 --> 00:07:53,599 It has to be cleaned and everything. It's poison. 142 00:07:53,683 --> 00:07:55,685 - One spit right over there. - Where? 143 00:07:55,768 --> 00:07:57,311 Ah! Right here. 144 00:07:57,395 --> 00:08:00,898 It dug itself right down into the dirt. That sucker got away. 145 00:08:00,982 --> 00:08:03,734 I can't believe that I am 44. 146 00:08:03,818 --> 00:08:06,737 Isn't that cool, the house on the beach, the one with those big windows? 147 00:08:06,821 --> 00:08:08,197 Yeah, I want that house. 148 00:08:08,281 --> 00:08:13,286 I look at this as my halfway point to the end of my life. 149 00:08:13,369 --> 00:08:15,746 Come on. I think we got enough. 150 00:08:15,830 --> 00:08:17,540 I'm getting hungry. 151 00:08:17,623 --> 00:08:21,502 J'Lisa! You go in that water again, and we'll leave. 152 00:08:21,586 --> 00:08:23,254 - J'Lisa, are you listening? - Yes. 153 00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:26,007 I'm done. I got sprayed. 154 00:08:26,090 --> 00:08:28,551 I'm gonna smell like seafood. 155 00:08:28,634 --> 00:08:30,887 Mom, what are we gonna do with the crabs? 156 00:08:30,970 --> 00:08:33,097 We can't take the crabs. 157 00:08:33,181 --> 00:08:37,059 - We have to leave them? - Yes, you have to leave the crabs. 158 00:08:37,143 --> 00:08:39,145 The clams, we are taking. 159 00:08:39,228 --> 00:08:40,688 - Look. - Is it dead? 160 00:08:40,771 --> 00:08:42,732 - No, it's alive. - Oh! 161 00:08:42,815 --> 00:08:44,358 Was that the crab? 162 00:08:44,442 --> 00:08:46,903 - Oh, shoot! - It scared me! 163 00:09:02,001 --> 00:09:03,544 Beans, stop it! 164 00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:07,506 He's being annoying. 165 00:09:08,674 --> 00:09:12,220 My mom was very, very pretty when she was young. 166 00:09:17,141 --> 00:09:19,227 I still think she's pretty now. 167 00:09:31,072 --> 00:09:32,865 Beanie boy! 168 00:09:34,325 --> 00:09:39,497 Even though she has brown eyes, I just love how they shine all the time. 169 00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:41,540 You better not pee in my bed. 170 00:09:45,836 --> 00:09:47,380 Sleep well, puppy. 171 00:09:54,095 --> 00:09:56,389 I think my mom's beautiful. 172 00:09:58,307 --> 00:10:01,936 Hey, boys. Hey, little boys. 173 00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:04,647 How are you doing, big boy? 174 00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:06,357 Hey, little girl. 175 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,276 How you doin'? 176 00:10:12,405 --> 00:10:13,948 Stay back. 177 00:10:20,329 --> 00:10:22,748 I regret being so young, having kids. 178 00:10:26,752 --> 00:10:30,047 I really wish I would've just did my whole life different. 179 00:10:30,131 --> 00:10:33,050 Hi, big boy. Hi! 180 00:10:33,134 --> 00:10:36,595 Hi, - Hey! You're not going up here! Not - Hey. 181 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:39,181 But then I also think if I would have did it different, 182 00:10:39,265 --> 00:10:41,225 I wouldn't have the kids that I have now. 183 00:10:41,309 --> 00:10:42,560 Big boy, you're slow! 184 00:11:03,039 --> 00:11:04,999 Ring-ring, ring-ring. 185 00:11:06,125 --> 00:11:08,127 Ring-ring, ring-ring. 186 00:11:08,210 --> 00:11:11,297 I learned to become a prostitute 187 00:11:11,380 --> 00:11:15,509 seeing everybody else doing it, making all that money in downtown. 188 00:11:15,593 --> 00:11:17,678 My mom was mad. But what could she do? 189 00:11:17,762 --> 00:11:19,638 - Are you cleaning? - Yeah, I am. 190 00:11:19,722 --> 00:11:23,642 I looked at it like this: I was 13, still a baby. 191 00:11:23,726 --> 00:11:25,770 Guys liked that. 192 00:11:25,853 --> 00:11:28,022 That's why I got paid so much money. 193 00:11:28,105 --> 00:11:30,191 My house is clean! 194 00:11:30,274 --> 00:11:32,651 We were living so poor, I couldn't stand it. 195 00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:35,363 Nine, ten, 11, 12, 196 00:11:35,446 --> 00:11:38,532 13, 14, 15, 16, 197 00:11:38,616 --> 00:11:41,702 17, 18, 19, 20. 198 00:11:41,786 --> 00:11:43,621 Ready or not, here I come! 199 00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:50,419 Tony Cox. He was the reason why I came downtown. 200 00:12:04,392 --> 00:12:06,894 I remember the first day I came. 201 00:12:06,977 --> 00:12:09,939 I rolled on downtown with my skates. 202 00:12:10,022 --> 00:12:12,817 I just took everything, and I took my cat. 203 00:12:24,078 --> 00:12:25,913 Puppy, out. 204 00:12:25,996 --> 00:12:27,790 Kids and puppies. 205 00:12:27,873 --> 00:12:30,793 Mom, can I go out and practice? 206 00:12:30,876 --> 00:12:34,213 Um, I guess so. Yeah, if you want to. 207 00:12:36,257 --> 00:12:39,093 My mom has been good the past few days. 208 00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:40,886 Just a little stressed out... 209 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,222 Ranaja? 210 00:12:43,305 --> 00:12:46,475 ...because we're not helping her as much as we should be... 211 00:12:46,559 --> 00:12:48,352 Ranaja? 212 00:12:48,436 --> 00:12:52,565 ...'cause her feet are swollen, and we should help her more. 213 00:12:52,648 --> 00:12:55,109 I don't care. What's in here? 214 00:12:56,694 --> 00:12:59,280 I do worry about my mom's addiction. 215 00:13:00,281 --> 00:13:03,200 Are you doing it? Yeah, throw it in there. 216 00:13:03,284 --> 00:13:06,287 My mom thinks it's the reason why her feet are swollen up. 217 00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:08,622 I'm sorry. 218 00:13:11,292 --> 00:13:14,003 I don't want my mom addicted to methadone forever. 219 00:13:14,086 --> 00:13:16,297 ...bra over here, please? 220 00:13:16,380 --> 00:13:18,799 If it's helping her, it's helping her. 221 00:13:21,427 --> 00:13:23,762 My name is William Charles Jr. 222 00:13:23,846 --> 00:13:26,932 I'm the husband of Erin Blackwell. 223 00:13:27,016 --> 00:13:29,810 I've known Erin since 1997. 224 00:13:29,894 --> 00:13:32,062 We now have been married going on five years. 225 00:13:32,146 --> 00:13:34,565 I met Will on a chat line. 226 00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:39,153 He came to my door. I was shocked to actually believe 227 00:13:39,236 --> 00:13:42,531 that was the other person on the end of the phone line I was talking to. 228 00:13:42,615 --> 00:13:45,367 - E'Mari? - I liked the way Will looked. 229 00:13:46,410 --> 00:13:48,954 And I was - I was just kind of shocked 230 00:13:49,038 --> 00:13:52,917 that it was someone actually that I liked looking at 231 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,793 and that I could see myself with. 232 00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:58,547 First time I met her face to face, it was, um -. 233 00:13:58,631 --> 00:14:00,424 She was cute. She was shy. 234 00:14:00,508 --> 00:14:04,512 Rayshon, which is seven years old now, he was three months old at the time, 235 00:14:04,595 --> 00:14:06,972 and, uh, she didn't have much, 236 00:14:07,056 --> 00:14:09,683 but the little bit she did have, she shared. 237 00:14:09,767 --> 00:14:11,393 She was coming off of narcotics. 238 00:14:11,477 --> 00:14:14,188 She'd just had Rayshon, and she was confused. 239 00:14:15,564 --> 00:14:20,194 And, uh, I knew these things 'cause I've been out there. 240 00:14:20,277 --> 00:14:23,572 I've been around. I've seen things and done things, so... 241 00:14:24,782 --> 00:14:27,034 I just didn't want to turn my back to her. 242 00:14:27,117 --> 00:14:30,371 Just something about her that, um - That I love. 243 00:14:32,915 --> 00:14:35,084 I should not have did that. 244 00:14:35,167 --> 00:14:38,712 Pregnant at 15 and having kids starting at 16. 245 00:14:41,632 --> 00:14:44,927 All through these years, drinking and drugging and -. 246 00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:48,013 I just took day by day. 247 00:14:50,849 --> 00:14:52,184 It wasn't right. 248 00:14:54,937 --> 00:14:57,606 When we get into arguments, 249 00:14:57,690 --> 00:15:02,111 they can be over something, to me, something stupid, 250 00:15:02,194 --> 00:15:05,197 but Erin is very stubborn, and she's stern. 251 00:15:07,449 --> 00:15:09,577 You have to be around her. 252 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:12,371 There are some challenging days. 253 00:15:12,454 --> 00:15:15,291 There are some challenging days. 254 00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:19,003 If Erin and I hadn't met, 255 00:15:19,086 --> 00:15:21,630 she would have continued doing what she was doing. 256 00:15:22,298 --> 00:15:24,550 Out on the streets doing wrong. 257 00:15:27,886 --> 00:15:30,889 If she don't be dead, she'd have been close to it. 258 00:15:31,724 --> 00:15:34,435 'Cause Erin tried to commit suicide twice. 259 00:15:43,027 --> 00:15:45,779 You have to accept people for who they are. 260 00:15:47,448 --> 00:15:49,074 I accept Erin. 261 00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:51,660 I accept Erin to the fullest. 262 00:15:51,744 --> 00:15:53,704 - If it wasn't for Will... - Brush your teeth too. 263 00:15:53,746 --> 00:15:55,289 ...I wouldn't be here. 264 00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:57,207 Sit up there so I can put your shoes on. 265 00:15:57,291 --> 00:16:00,753 - I'd be out doing what I used to do. - Mama, I had a bad dream. 266 00:16:00,836 --> 00:16:03,130 And I look at Will as my higher power. 267 00:16:08,218 --> 00:16:09,261 Stop. 268 00:16:12,598 --> 00:16:15,559 Hold on. I'll be right back. Leave your foot right there. 269 00:16:15,643 --> 00:16:18,771 Do not do nothing. Do not put it on the floor. 270 00:16:18,854 --> 00:16:22,149 I don't really know if I've ever been in love with a man, 271 00:16:22,983 --> 00:16:25,361 'cause I really didn't know how to love. 272 00:16:27,446 --> 00:16:29,281 I think Will is gonna leave. 273 00:16:30,074 --> 00:16:32,576 Maybe next weekend. Maybe the weekend after. 274 00:16:32,660 --> 00:16:34,203 - Thank you, Dad. - You're welcome. 275 00:16:34,286 --> 00:16:36,080 Erin was so honest with me. 276 00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:39,416 She told me every single thing about her. 277 00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:44,963 She did not hold nothing back. 278 00:16:45,047 --> 00:16:49,134 She told me - She said, "You've got a chance to leave now." 279 00:16:52,221 --> 00:16:54,765 She didn't trap me with five children. 280 00:16:55,599 --> 00:16:57,685 She never abused any of the children. 281 00:16:57,768 --> 00:17:02,314 She wanted them to have a father around, good education. 282 00:17:02,398 --> 00:17:04,066 Something that she didn't have. 283 00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:08,278 That's what we're fighting hard every day to do. 284 00:17:08,362 --> 00:17:10,531 - Yep. - Yep, what? 285 00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:16,870 Y'all want things, you gotta show me some appreciation. Come on. Let's go. 286 00:17:16,954 --> 00:17:20,082 I'm not giving you nothing else until I see some sort of improvement. 287 00:17:20,165 --> 00:17:22,418 Whose shoes are these? Ranaja, are these your shoes? 288 00:17:22,501 --> 00:17:23,711 Where? No. 289 00:17:23,794 --> 00:17:25,838 Is that clean or dirty? 290 00:17:25,921 --> 00:17:28,465 Rayshon have a father. 291 00:17:28,549 --> 00:17:30,759 He came to me. He said, 292 00:17:30,843 --> 00:17:33,011 "I'm too young to be a father. 293 00:17:34,304 --> 00:17:36,890 Could you take care of Rayshon for me?" 294 00:17:39,393 --> 00:17:41,854 I said, "Well, let me tell you something, man. 295 00:17:41,937 --> 00:17:44,940 You didn't wear the condom. She got pregnant. She had a baby. 296 00:17:45,023 --> 00:17:47,276 You're the father. There's proof. 297 00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:49,903 You gotta do something about it. 298 00:17:49,987 --> 00:17:52,573 I'm not gonna be your scapegoat." 299 00:17:52,656 --> 00:17:54,408 And he disappeared. 300 00:17:54,491 --> 00:17:57,244 My real daddy's name is... 301 00:18:01,999 --> 00:18:04,126 I can't remember his name. 302 00:18:11,008 --> 00:18:12,843 He just loved his mommy. 303 00:18:13,719 --> 00:18:15,554 He's very affectionate. 304 00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:22,936 He must miss you now. 305 00:18:23,020 --> 00:18:24,605 Oh, yeah, I'm sure. 306 00:18:26,148 --> 00:18:30,652 I'm sure he has a lot of regrets for not listening, 307 00:18:31,570 --> 00:18:33,906 'cause they end up paying the price. 308 00:18:33,989 --> 00:18:35,949 Rayshon - If he don't watch hisself, 309 00:18:36,033 --> 00:18:37,785 he's gonna end up in the penitentiary. 310 00:18:37,868 --> 00:18:40,329 - These streets are no joke. - Hey, J'Lisa. 311 00:18:40,412 --> 00:18:44,583 - How are you doing? - You are a target every day. 312 00:18:44,666 --> 00:18:47,795 And if it's not the penitentiary, it's gonna be death. 313 00:18:47,878 --> 00:18:50,297 That's what I been trying to tell Rayshon. 314 00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:53,383 "Son, stay out of trouble. 315 00:18:53,467 --> 00:18:55,594 Don't get caught in this system. 316 00:18:57,095 --> 00:18:59,181 Prisons are nothing but slavery." 317 00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:03,435 He don't get it. 318 00:19:06,438 --> 00:19:08,607 Daylon wasn't a mama's boy. 319 00:19:09,858 --> 00:19:13,195 Daylon was in his own world. 320 00:19:13,278 --> 00:19:16,615 Stayed distant. I didn't raise him. 321 00:19:16,698 --> 00:19:20,494 He was bounced around from foster home to foster home. 322 00:19:20,577 --> 00:19:23,330 Do you remember when I took that picture? 323 00:19:23,413 --> 00:19:24,790 How old were you? 324 00:19:24,873 --> 00:19:26,458 I was 16. 325 00:19:27,501 --> 00:19:30,212 Now that I look back, I really wasn't ready. 326 00:19:34,258 --> 00:19:37,344 Hmm. This is me in labor with Daylon. 327 00:19:40,556 --> 00:19:42,683 Daylon when he was born. 328 00:19:45,310 --> 00:19:47,104 This was my child. 329 00:19:48,105 --> 00:19:51,275 I get to raise this baby and teach him everything. 330 00:19:52,568 --> 00:19:54,152 It didn't work out like that. 331 00:19:55,237 --> 00:19:57,531 Do I like being a babysitter? 332 00:19:57,614 --> 00:19:59,783 Sometimes yeah, sometimes no. 333 00:19:59,867 --> 00:20:02,995 I like to do stuff myself, you know. 334 00:20:03,078 --> 00:20:05,622 I'm pretty young, so I like to get out and have fun too, 335 00:20:05,706 --> 00:20:08,083 while I'm still here, you know? 336 00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:10,836 But sometimes it makes me feel bad, 337 00:20:10,919 --> 00:20:12,880 and sometimes it don't bother me 338 00:20:12,963 --> 00:20:15,841 because I don't feel like I should be cooped up all the time. 339 00:20:15,924 --> 00:20:19,011 I'm not married. I don't got kids. You know what I mean? 340 00:20:21,388 --> 00:20:24,766 And, you know, here's more to life than just sitting in a house. 341 00:20:24,850 --> 00:20:26,685 You know what I mean? 342 00:20:26,768 --> 00:20:30,647 When I sit in the house, I feel you can always do jail in your head. 343 00:20:30,731 --> 00:20:33,317 I feel like I can't do certain stuff, you know? 344 00:20:35,903 --> 00:20:38,614 I do love looking after my brother's baby. 345 00:20:40,115 --> 00:20:44,369 My brother Daylon, he has gotten a little "oopsie." 346 00:20:44,453 --> 00:20:45,746 A little weird. 347 00:20:50,626 --> 00:20:52,920 I think it has to do with his addiction. 348 00:21:01,845 --> 00:21:04,431 He does love his baby a lot. 349 00:21:05,098 --> 00:21:08,810 He's there for his baby, takes care of his baby like he's supposed to. 350 00:21:15,734 --> 00:21:17,736 He gives it hugs and kisses. 351 00:21:21,406 --> 00:21:22,783 A lot of love. 352 00:21:36,505 --> 00:21:38,131 KWIQ 98.9. 353 00:21:38,215 --> 00:21:40,676 Here's what's coming up in the next 20 minutes. 354 00:21:42,177 --> 00:21:44,513 I feel really horrible for Daylon 355 00:21:44,596 --> 00:21:48,308 'cause he too is doing something that I have done. 356 00:21:55,774 --> 00:21:58,777 They've seen me go through those hard times. 357 00:21:58,860 --> 00:22:01,405 They didn't like what they went through with me. 358 00:22:04,282 --> 00:22:08,412 I woulda swore they would have never done anything that I've ever done. 359 00:22:15,669 --> 00:22:17,546 I smoke heroin. 360 00:22:25,470 --> 00:22:29,725 I try to get it early in the morning so the rest of my day is fine. 361 00:22:36,231 --> 00:22:39,818 I really just smoke to get normal, to feel like how I feel right now. 362 00:22:39,901 --> 00:22:41,611 I feel fine. I feel normal. 363 00:23:00,714 --> 00:23:02,591 To smoke every day... 364 00:23:04,176 --> 00:23:07,012 ...it's nothing I would suggest to anybody, but, I mean, 365 00:23:07,095 --> 00:23:10,057 it helps through stressful situations. 366 00:23:16,271 --> 00:23:18,690 I just need to smoke once, and I'm fine. 367 00:23:18,774 --> 00:23:22,652 I could smoke more, but smoking once is good for me. 368 00:23:29,951 --> 00:23:32,537 You can get a good point for about ten bucks. 369 00:23:32,621 --> 00:23:34,498 That does justice. 370 00:23:37,667 --> 00:23:41,296 If you add it up, every day that's $70 a week. 371 00:23:42,380 --> 00:23:45,842 That's, what, $240 a month? 372 00:23:45,926 --> 00:23:49,012 Times 240 by 12 - That's a lot of money. 373 00:23:50,847 --> 00:23:52,974 My girlfriend doesn't approve of it. 374 00:23:55,644 --> 00:23:57,562 Erin doesn't like it either. 375 00:23:58,688 --> 00:24:03,652 Erin suggests that there's other things I should do besides narcotics, 376 00:24:03,735 --> 00:24:07,614 but I guess it's a prerogative of mine. 377 00:24:23,672 --> 00:24:25,549 They're crazy! 378 00:24:26,842 --> 00:24:29,302 Okay, girl, you shouldn't have had that baby, 379 00:24:29,386 --> 00:24:32,055 'cause your babies are really creepy. 380 00:24:34,057 --> 00:24:36,518 Okay. 381 00:24:36,601 --> 00:24:38,395 I just remember being a kid. 382 00:24:38,478 --> 00:24:42,357 Got to pretty much do go do what I wanted to do at four years old. 383 00:24:43,358 --> 00:24:46,069 Walk down to the corner store and get candy. 384 00:24:50,949 --> 00:24:53,118 We didn't have much toys growing up. 385 00:24:53,201 --> 00:24:57,455 Barbies and a doll house. Slinky. 386 00:24:57,539 --> 00:25:01,126 What are you doing? 387 00:25:01,209 --> 00:25:03,587 - I want a dolly! - No. They're $29. 388 00:25:03,670 --> 00:25:07,424 E'Mari was about as big as that baby when he was born. Maybe bigger. 389 00:25:07,507 --> 00:25:10,010 I swear to God. 390 00:25:10,093 --> 00:25:11,928 He was a humongous baby. 391 00:25:12,846 --> 00:25:15,307 I'm buying this. Almost $20. 392 00:25:16,516 --> 00:25:18,494 - I want to play with that here. - Are you kidding? 393 00:25:18,518 --> 00:25:20,645 - No, I'm serious! - Are you lying? 394 00:25:20,729 --> 00:25:23,607 - No, I'm serious. - But this is for kids. 395 00:25:23,690 --> 00:25:26,359 So? I can play with you guys. 396 00:26:41,268 --> 00:26:43,937 My mom took me to a horse ranch once. 397 00:26:46,564 --> 00:26:48,775 My favorite horse was Dance. 398 00:26:50,110 --> 00:26:51,945 I loved Dance a lot. 399 00:26:54,030 --> 00:26:56,574 I whispered it in his ear. 400 00:26:56,658 --> 00:26:58,952 I said, "I love you, Dance." 401 00:27:00,078 --> 00:27:02,664 He turned his head and gave me a hug. 402 00:27:18,221 --> 00:27:20,348 His eyeballs are so big. 403 00:27:21,766 --> 00:27:24,311 My mom loved horses when she was little. 404 00:27:36,448 --> 00:27:38,366 I've been waiting... 405 00:27:39,826 --> 00:27:42,495 till I can talk to you on the phone. 406 00:27:43,747 --> 00:27:46,541 Oh, and you had a leg itch? Aww. 407 00:27:46,624 --> 00:27:48,626 Big Boy, lay down. 408 00:27:58,803 --> 00:28:01,348 It was fun, and it was freeing. 409 00:28:09,314 --> 00:28:11,107 I'd do what I want. 410 00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:18,948 Made a lot of money. 411 00:28:25,455 --> 00:28:27,874 Got to spend it on whatever I wanted. 412 00:28:32,629 --> 00:28:34,714 It will never be like that again. 413 00:28:37,550 --> 00:28:39,928 Do you remember the guy in the car I was talking to? 414 00:28:40,011 --> 00:28:41,137 Yeah. 415 00:28:41,221 --> 00:28:43,807 That happened to be when I worked at Movies and More. 416 00:28:43,890 --> 00:28:46,851 There was a guy that worked there. That was his uncle. 417 00:28:48,353 --> 00:28:51,231 I don't even know how much money I was making. 418 00:28:55,318 --> 00:28:57,946 I have nothing to show for it now. 419 00:28:59,406 --> 00:29:02,283 I was a kid in the biggest candy store, 420 00:29:02,367 --> 00:29:04,994 spending my money 421 00:29:05,078 --> 00:29:09,082 on clothes and shoes and motels. 422 00:29:15,004 --> 00:29:16,756 There's Rayshon. 423 00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:19,467 No, no, no, no, no, ma'am. Uh-uh. 424 00:29:19,551 --> 00:29:21,094 Pick it up right now. 425 00:29:21,177 --> 00:29:23,138 Pick it up right now. 426 00:29:24,931 --> 00:29:27,934 My stepdad, I don't like him at all, 427 00:29:28,017 --> 00:29:30,353 in any kind of way, shape or form. 428 00:29:33,356 --> 00:29:35,567 Not going to school doesn't worry me. 429 00:29:38,361 --> 00:29:41,406 If I'm not home, I'm out with my friends having fun. 430 00:29:41,489 --> 00:29:43,658 We get high and chill. 431 00:29:46,661 --> 00:29:49,414 I've gotten in trouble with the law plenty of times. 432 00:29:50,665 --> 00:29:53,918 Going to prison, it does scare me a little bit. 433 00:29:54,002 --> 00:29:56,421 We gotta rehearse that. Right, dude? 434 00:29:56,504 --> 00:30:00,675 There's always that bigger, badder, tougher guy than you are, 435 00:30:00,758 --> 00:30:03,678 and I just don't want to be somebody's little boyfriend. 436 00:30:04,846 --> 00:30:06,764 Rayshon has a lot of enemies. 437 00:30:08,433 --> 00:30:13,104 They like to mess with him because of his speech impediment. 438 00:30:14,856 --> 00:30:18,026 Rayshon didn't start talking until he was six years old. 439 00:30:18,109 --> 00:30:22,405 They say the reason Rayshon barks and acts nutty sometimes 440 00:30:22,489 --> 00:30:27,160 is 'cause I did drugs and alcohol with him for the first four months of pregnancy. 441 00:30:31,748 --> 00:30:34,167 I'm watching a movie! Stop! 442 00:30:38,713 --> 00:30:41,799 What the hell's wrong with you? You don't have to do that. 443 00:30:41,883 --> 00:30:44,219 You're not an animal. You're a human being. 444 00:30:45,595 --> 00:30:47,013 You could get put away, Son. 445 00:30:47,096 --> 00:30:50,183 You're seven years old. You don't have to do that, understand? 446 00:30:50,266 --> 00:30:52,018 - Yes. - You're seven. 447 00:30:52,101 --> 00:30:56,272 You're not a baby. You're not crazy. You're not retarded. You're not stupid. 448 00:30:56,356 --> 00:30:58,775 You're a very bright little boy. Do you understand? 449 00:30:58,858 --> 00:31:00,318 - Yes. - I don't like that. 450 00:31:00,401 --> 00:31:03,363 Mommy don't like that. It doesn't look good. 451 00:31:03,446 --> 00:31:04,948 - Do you understand? - Yes. 452 00:31:05,031 --> 00:31:06,741 People will give you medication for that. 453 00:31:06,824 --> 00:31:09,864 Do you want to take medicine for the rest of your life for something you not? 454 00:31:12,413 --> 00:31:14,958 - What's your daughter's name? - Ranaja Charles. 455 00:31:15,041 --> 00:31:17,168 Okay. Let me check with the nurse. 456 00:31:17,252 --> 00:31:18,419 Okay. 457 00:31:27,679 --> 00:31:30,723 Okay. Well, I don't know, but I can call her down. 458 00:31:30,807 --> 00:31:31,849 Okay. 459 00:31:31,933 --> 00:31:33,726 So that you can talk to her. 460 00:31:33,810 --> 00:31:35,144 Is she up there? 461 00:31:35,228 --> 00:31:37,105 No, she's not. 462 00:31:37,188 --> 00:31:39,274 Oh. Well... 463 00:31:39,357 --> 00:31:41,150 I checked with the nurse. 464 00:31:41,234 --> 00:31:44,404 She may have health group somewhere in one of the classrooms. 465 00:31:44,487 --> 00:31:47,407 - Oh. And who is this? - This is Pat Jenson. 466 00:31:47,490 --> 00:31:51,077 Oh, Pat. Hey, you know, I was... 467 00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:54,831 I keep forgetting to call there, but I did need to talk to you. 468 00:31:55,832 --> 00:31:58,668 Well, Ranaja has been having trouble at school 469 00:31:58,751 --> 00:32:02,255 with people calling her a nigger, 470 00:32:02,338 --> 00:32:06,134 and I am totally upset about it. 471 00:32:06,217 --> 00:32:08,803 Well, we are appalled with that, 472 00:32:08,886 --> 00:32:11,639 and we have zero tolerance. 473 00:32:11,723 --> 00:32:13,641 Right. 474 00:32:13,725 --> 00:32:17,687 And she has been feeling like she doesn't want to come to the school. 475 00:32:17,770 --> 00:32:20,773 She doesn't want to finish the school there. 476 00:32:20,857 --> 00:32:24,527 She doesn't, uh, like the school 477 00:32:24,611 --> 00:32:28,906 because she's getting people saying stuff like that. 478 00:32:28,990 --> 00:32:30,825 You know what I'm going to do? 479 00:32:30,908 --> 00:32:33,036 Will she be embarrassed if I called her down 480 00:32:33,119 --> 00:32:36,414 and have her talk to the counselor? 481 00:32:36,497 --> 00:32:38,958 I don't think she'll be, um -. 482 00:32:39,042 --> 00:32:41,919 - Upset? - Yeah. I told her I was gonna call. 483 00:32:44,130 --> 00:32:48,134 Some people don't accept the Black people at school at all. 484 00:32:50,261 --> 00:32:53,640 That's what they go by, and that's something I don't want to be around. 485 00:32:56,100 --> 00:32:57,977 One of the jokes that people think is funny 486 00:32:58,061 --> 00:33:00,605 is when they say that Black people should go wash yourself 487 00:33:00,688 --> 00:33:02,857 because our skin color looks like dirt. 488 00:33:04,484 --> 00:33:06,361 I don't believe that. 489 00:33:06,444 --> 00:33:08,988 You're so heavy. 490 00:33:09,072 --> 00:33:11,407 You're so heavy like a horse. 491 00:33:15,203 --> 00:33:16,996 You like that? 492 00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:20,792 Rayshon, he is doing everything wrong. 493 00:33:21,417 --> 00:33:24,671 Doing drugs, smoking weed, drinking, 494 00:33:24,754 --> 00:33:28,675 not going to school, being really defiant. 495 00:33:29,801 --> 00:33:32,970 People are after him, wanna beat him up. 496 00:33:35,973 --> 00:33:39,227 Rayshon's gonna either end up dying or into prison. 497 00:33:39,310 --> 00:33:41,604 He can get killed. 498 00:33:41,688 --> 00:33:45,066 Somebody that's not very smart, 499 00:33:45,149 --> 00:33:48,403 a dumb kid, is gonna end up killing him 500 00:33:49,195 --> 00:33:51,698 just to show off to everybody else how hard he is. 501 00:33:51,781 --> 00:33:54,367 I already talked to my PO about some arrangements. 502 00:33:54,450 --> 00:33:56,994 - 'Cause I'm not staying here with you. - Rayshon. 503 00:33:57,078 --> 00:34:00,331 But he wants to come when he's got nowhere else to be. 504 00:34:00,415 --> 00:34:02,375 I got somewhere to go, Mom. 505 00:34:09,424 --> 00:34:12,218 Just two nights ago, she told me to leave. 506 00:34:12,301 --> 00:34:14,846 I came knockin' on the door so I could come home and stay home, 507 00:34:14,929 --> 00:34:17,932 but she wanted me to leave and not come back, so that's what I'm doing. 508 00:34:18,015 --> 00:34:19,815 Came to get the rest of my shit so I could go. 509 00:34:21,561 --> 00:34:24,772 Are you guys gonna fight over this game? 510 00:34:24,856 --> 00:34:26,107 No? 511 00:34:26,190 --> 00:34:28,860 Then eat some pickles. And it -. 512 00:34:30,528 --> 00:34:33,448 What was I about to say? Sorry. 513 00:34:33,531 --> 00:34:37,034 I do miss the street a little bit and the people I knew. 514 00:34:37,118 --> 00:34:39,746 Now I have to take care of these kids! 515 00:34:41,122 --> 00:34:42,623 A lot of memories. 516 00:34:45,126 --> 00:34:48,838 It was like a family. Everything's changed now. 517 00:34:48,921 --> 00:34:51,466 I ain't done shit. You're a punk. 518 00:34:51,549 --> 00:34:54,260 It will never be that way again. 519 00:35:22,997 --> 00:35:26,709 I am happy that I am here. 520 00:35:26,793 --> 00:35:29,378 I'd like to see my kids do something. 521 00:35:30,546 --> 00:35:32,965 They're young enough to be a star. 522 00:36:06,874 --> 00:36:09,252 Mom, wake up. 523 00:36:09,335 --> 00:36:11,170 - Come on, wake up. - What? 524 00:36:17,969 --> 00:36:20,179 - Can you get my medicine? - Huh? 525 00:36:20,263 --> 00:36:22,098 Do you want me to get you a coffee too? 526 00:36:25,268 --> 00:36:28,062 I only dreamed about my mom once. 527 00:36:29,522 --> 00:36:33,442 I was with my mom and the rest of the family. 528 00:36:33,526 --> 00:36:37,029 We went to the beach. We were all in the ocean, 529 00:36:37,113 --> 00:36:40,700 and I went a little too far, and I drowned. 530 00:36:41,784 --> 00:36:43,870 But she came and saved me. 531 00:36:45,204 --> 00:36:49,542 Then somehow in my dream, I closed my eyes and opened them 532 00:36:49,625 --> 00:36:53,170 and woke up and was all wet. 533 00:36:53,254 --> 00:36:55,464 My bed was soaking wet too. 534 00:36:58,843 --> 00:37:00,136 I told my mom. 535 00:37:04,140 --> 00:37:05,516 This one? 536 00:37:09,937 --> 00:37:11,606 Right here too? 537 00:37:13,733 --> 00:37:15,192 Here you go. 538 00:37:17,486 --> 00:37:19,947 - Is that it? - Yeah, that's it. 539 00:37:20,031 --> 00:37:23,409 I'll put it away while you - Do you need your coffee? 540 00:37:23,492 --> 00:37:25,161 - Can you get the dog? - Yeah. 541 00:37:26,913 --> 00:37:29,874 - Mom, can I pull out my tooth? - No. 542 00:37:33,252 --> 00:37:34,503 I can't. 543 00:37:49,685 --> 00:37:53,314 My real father is a person I do not know. 544 00:37:53,397 --> 00:37:55,942 It has hurt me over the years, but, you know, 545 00:37:56,025 --> 00:38:00,321 finally after my 17th birthday, I just kind of like learned to accept it. 546 00:38:00,404 --> 00:38:03,324 Shawnie wanted to know, and I told Shawnie, 547 00:38:03,407 --> 00:38:05,451 "That was another choice I made, Shawnie, 548 00:38:05,534 --> 00:38:09,372 because I chose to do what I wanted to do and not listen to anybody else, 549 00:38:09,455 --> 00:38:13,292 and I was running around and sleeping with everybody. 550 00:38:13,376 --> 00:38:16,003 You can't expect me to know who your dad was." 551 00:38:16,087 --> 00:38:20,675 My mother, around November, you know, 552 00:38:20,758 --> 00:38:24,679 she told me some stuff. 553 00:38:24,762 --> 00:38:28,140 But I didn't get no name, no identity or anything, 554 00:38:28,349 --> 00:38:33,896 but she told me what motel, you know -. 555 00:38:33,980 --> 00:38:36,941 And I kinda like - Or who it might be, you know? 556 00:38:37,024 --> 00:38:39,485 She doesn't feel like she's loved or wanted. 557 00:38:39,568 --> 00:38:41,529 And I do love my daughter. 558 00:38:41,612 --> 00:38:44,281 I mean, I did not raise them, 559 00:38:44,365 --> 00:38:49,453 so it's not like I could just be there for her on everything. 560 00:38:52,373 --> 00:38:55,459 I could try, but it's not ever gonna be the... 561 00:38:57,628 --> 00:38:59,714 mother-daughter relationship. 562 00:39:01,549 --> 00:39:04,301 - Is there much more? - Yeah. 563 00:39:04,385 --> 00:39:08,806 You could probably use a little bit more. 'Cause you put this in the microwave -. 564 00:39:08,889 --> 00:39:11,267 We all share the same mother. 565 00:39:11,350 --> 00:39:14,687 - Gonna put some more water in this. - We were all in the same uterus. 566 00:39:14,770 --> 00:39:17,356 But not - not too much. 567 00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:19,692 - Okay. - Just for, like, two seconds. 568 00:39:21,861 --> 00:39:24,030 Can you get my coat, please? 569 00:39:24,947 --> 00:39:27,158 Does it smell like grease and stuff? 570 00:39:27,241 --> 00:39:30,369 - No, it was on the hoodie, kinda. - Yeah. Mm-hmm. 571 00:39:30,453 --> 00:39:31,912 - It does? - A little. 572 00:39:35,958 --> 00:39:37,960 - Here you go. - Mm-hmm. 573 00:39:39,045 --> 00:39:41,088 Have you ever thought about a career, Ranaja? 574 00:39:41,172 --> 00:39:42,798 Have you ever thought about a career? 575 00:39:42,882 --> 00:39:46,802 Yeah, we're gonna talk to people and stuff. It's gonna be really cool. 576 00:39:46,886 --> 00:39:48,888 Well, what is your choice of career? 577 00:39:48,971 --> 00:39:51,474 I want to become a mortician. I want to cut open dead people. 578 00:39:51,557 --> 00:39:53,142 Oh, God. 579 00:39:53,225 --> 00:39:55,269 And then I want to deliver babies. 580 00:39:55,352 --> 00:39:58,314 Oh, my-Jeez. You know, you sound like Mom. 581 00:39:58,397 --> 00:40:00,149 Is it how I said it? 582 00:40:00,232 --> 00:40:02,777 No, she likes forensic science and shit like that. 583 00:40:02,860 --> 00:40:05,571 Lookin' at dead bodies to find out how people died. 584 00:40:05,654 --> 00:40:07,323 Yeah, that's what I want to do. 585 00:40:08,741 --> 00:40:11,994 Sometimes I think maybe I thought she was my older sister. 586 00:40:12,078 --> 00:40:15,790 I wanted to be around her so much. That's the reason why I called her Erin. 587 00:40:17,291 --> 00:40:19,960 She was my sister, but I did know that she was my mom. 588 00:40:23,130 --> 00:40:26,967 When I call her Erin sometimes now, she'll be like, "Don't call me that. 589 00:40:27,051 --> 00:40:29,804 You've been calling me that when you were a little kid. 590 00:40:29,887 --> 00:40:32,598 When you were a baby." 591 00:40:55,788 --> 00:40:58,165 I want to do Superman! 592 00:40:58,249 --> 00:41:00,334 - Superman! - Superman! 593 00:41:00,417 --> 00:41:01,836 Sup -. 594 00:41:11,971 --> 00:41:15,891 I did drugs when pregnant with Keanna till I was six months pregnant. 595 00:41:15,975 --> 00:41:20,020 Went into treatment, got out, found me a place to live. 596 00:41:20,104 --> 00:41:23,774 Keanna was probably about seven months old. 597 00:41:23,858 --> 00:41:26,152 I go out one night to this club called Oscar's 598 00:41:26,235 --> 00:41:30,531 and then picked up some guy, drunk. 599 00:41:30,614 --> 00:41:34,118 We go back to my house and, you know, whatever. 600 00:41:34,201 --> 00:41:37,246 Two days later, I came back home. 601 00:41:37,329 --> 00:41:40,666 I was cleaning my house, and I found a rock. 602 00:41:41,584 --> 00:41:43,294 Cocaine. 603 00:41:43,377 --> 00:41:45,462 And I sat there and thought about it. 604 00:41:45,546 --> 00:41:48,549 I did it, and that's what started it all over again. 605 00:41:49,675 --> 00:41:52,386 I was drinking one night. 606 00:41:52,469 --> 00:41:56,891 Got into a fight with some of my friends, and I passed out on the side of the road. 607 00:41:56,974 --> 00:41:59,143 The only good thing that was out of that was, 608 00:41:59,226 --> 00:42:02,521 this guy that was with me had Keanna in his arms. 609 00:42:02,605 --> 00:42:05,316 She could have got hit by a car, anything. 610 00:42:05,399 --> 00:42:07,985 Of course, the state took her. 611 00:42:08,068 --> 00:42:11,906 She didn't raise me. She didn't raise Shawnie. 612 00:42:11,989 --> 00:42:14,533 She didn't raise Daylon. 613 00:42:14,617 --> 00:42:17,870 So it's almost like we're not her kids. 614 00:42:17,953 --> 00:42:21,290 Things might have been different if we stayed with her. 615 00:42:21,373 --> 00:42:23,542 I ended up pregnant with Erin. 616 00:42:23,626 --> 00:42:26,378 I tried to lose her at first by doing a lot of dope, 617 00:42:26,462 --> 00:42:28,547 'cause I don't believe in abortion. 618 00:42:28,631 --> 00:42:32,509 I was shooting drugs - Crack, heroin, coke, crank. 619 00:42:32,593 --> 00:42:35,846 She just wouldn't leave, and so I told myself 620 00:42:35,930 --> 00:42:39,058 two, three months before I have her I will quit doing drugs, 621 00:42:39,141 --> 00:42:40,476 and that's what happened. 622 00:42:40,559 --> 00:42:45,231 My son's four and my daughter, she's, uh, soon to be three. 623 00:42:45,314 --> 00:42:48,317 - You're gonna be a busy lady. - I know. 624 00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:50,486 I have to go through parenting classes and stuff. 625 00:42:50,569 --> 00:42:53,364 As part of getting them back? 626 00:42:53,447 --> 00:42:55,532 Yeah, and going through my outpatient. 627 00:42:57,576 --> 00:43:00,329 And that's basically it. And get my own place. 628 00:43:00,412 --> 00:43:02,498 We're gonna look at some things that have to do with 629 00:43:02,581 --> 00:43:04,625 her development and what she's learning to do. 630 00:43:04,708 --> 00:43:08,462 And usually kids her age will start to get so they'll focus on something. 631 00:43:08,545 --> 00:43:10,297 See her eyes turning? 632 00:43:10,381 --> 00:43:13,259 We look at all these things especially carefully 633 00:43:13,342 --> 00:43:16,553 with kids that have had some exposure to drugs before they were born, 634 00:43:16,637 --> 00:43:18,097 like she did. 635 00:43:18,180 --> 00:43:21,308 Cocaine even causes things like little strokes 636 00:43:21,392 --> 00:43:25,020 or little bleeding in the baby's brain when it's developing, 637 00:43:25,104 --> 00:43:29,024 so that they're not able to do some things as easily as other children do. 638 00:43:30,776 --> 00:43:33,487 I wanted to be a werewolf when I grew up. 639 00:43:34,196 --> 00:43:35,656 I hung out on the streets. 640 00:43:35,739 --> 00:43:39,159 I was gang-banging. I was cutting classes. 641 00:43:39,243 --> 00:43:41,578 My history teacher, Ms. Weberg, said, 642 00:43:41,662 --> 00:43:45,082 "I can see something in you. Are you into drama?" 643 00:43:45,165 --> 00:43:47,918 And I was like, "Oh, you know, drama is everywhere." 644 00:43:48,002 --> 00:43:52,089 She told me, "No, drama's in a person, it's not in a place." 645 00:43:52,172 --> 00:43:55,509 I decided I didn't need to be the drama. 646 00:43:56,635 --> 00:44:00,055 I stopped hanging out with people that didn't want to see me succeed. 647 00:44:10,899 --> 00:44:13,819 I come from nothing. 648 00:44:13,902 --> 00:44:17,156 Where I come from doesn't have to define me. 649 00:44:17,239 --> 00:44:19,158 I'm not a statistic. 650 00:44:20,117 --> 00:44:23,162 I see the world bigger. I just have to work for it. 651 00:44:27,458 --> 00:44:31,462 Sports did help me break away. I played basketball. I ran track. 652 00:44:31,545 --> 00:44:35,341 It taught me discipline. It taught me that nothing's fair. 653 00:44:36,717 --> 00:44:39,636 Sports brought me and D'vonne together. 654 00:44:42,723 --> 00:44:44,558 I know my mom loves me. 655 00:44:44,641 --> 00:44:48,854 My whole life she didn't really say it. That's part of her anger now. 656 00:44:48,937 --> 00:44:52,274 She regrets that we didn't live with her. 657 00:44:52,358 --> 00:44:55,402 Dealing with my mom's past, being a prostitute, 658 00:44:56,153 --> 00:44:59,198 I feel proud that that's the type of person she was, 659 00:44:59,281 --> 00:45:02,493 because there's a part of them that's fearless. 660 00:45:02,576 --> 00:45:06,997 They go get what they need to go get. They use their self to get paid. 661 00:45:07,831 --> 00:45:09,917 It made me who I am. 662 00:45:11,293 --> 00:45:14,046 A lot of people want me to be on their team. 663 00:45:14,129 --> 00:45:16,256 People say I'm really good. 664 00:45:16,340 --> 00:45:19,551 I want to be an NBA basketball player. 665 00:45:19,635 --> 00:45:22,805 And when I'm in the NBA I wanna get a mansion. 666 00:45:22,888 --> 00:45:25,391 Then I'm gonna have a basketball hoop in the backyard. 667 00:45:25,474 --> 00:45:29,520 It's time now for your Seattle U Redhawks! 668 00:45:32,898 --> 00:45:36,360 E'Mari, he likes playing basketball like me. 669 00:45:38,904 --> 00:45:43,325 He's inside a different class than us, in special ed. 670 00:45:49,373 --> 00:45:51,500 He runs very fast. 671 00:45:51,583 --> 00:45:54,211 I'm almost fast as he is too. 672 00:46:03,595 --> 00:46:05,180 Couldn't get that one in. 673 00:46:06,473 --> 00:46:11,186 The only thing I hate about school is I have to get up early. 674 00:46:11,270 --> 00:46:14,148 I like the learning. 675 00:46:17,484 --> 00:46:19,611 I want to be an artist, 676 00:46:20,279 --> 00:46:22,823 a model, a fashion designer... 677 00:46:24,074 --> 00:46:25,576 and a veterinarian. 678 00:46:28,495 --> 00:46:31,832 Let's go, Seahawks, let's go! 679 00:46:31,915 --> 00:46:35,419 Let's go, Seahawks, let's go! 680 00:46:35,502 --> 00:46:38,672 Let's go, Seahawks, let's go! 681 00:46:54,396 --> 00:46:56,982 Move. Move! 682 00:46:57,065 --> 00:47:00,486 Go, 49! Go, 49! 683 00:47:00,569 --> 00:47:04,448 Go, 49! Go, 49! 684 00:47:04,531 --> 00:47:05,782 Hey! 685 00:47:10,162 --> 00:47:13,415 Mikka, look at this doll! 686 00:47:16,668 --> 00:47:19,671 They wanna meet you. Here! 687 00:47:19,755 --> 00:47:22,257 They talk! Mmm! 688 00:47:25,219 --> 00:47:27,596 I went to juvenile 'cause I did, like... 689 00:47:27,679 --> 00:47:31,308 I had, like, harassment cases, like stealing cars and -. 690 00:47:32,059 --> 00:47:35,854 Not like nothing hella major, but, I mean, little stuff counts, 691 00:47:35,938 --> 00:47:38,524 like destructing property, like disturbing the peace. 692 00:47:38,607 --> 00:47:41,360 You know what I mean? That type of stuff. 693 00:47:41,443 --> 00:47:43,445 Stealing people's stuff, yeah. 694 00:47:44,905 --> 00:47:48,200 When I go to sleep - When I'm laying in juvenile I go to sleep, 695 00:47:48,283 --> 00:47:52,037 and then I always have dreams about being outside, and they seem so real. 696 00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:54,957 Like you could touch something. This is what my dream feels like. 697 00:47:55,040 --> 00:47:57,376 Every time I have a dream everything feels real. 698 00:47:57,459 --> 00:47:59,962 I cannot tell the difference from having the dream. 699 00:48:00,045 --> 00:48:03,131 Even though I can see myself sometimes, but everything feels real. 700 00:48:03,215 --> 00:48:06,134 I could kiss somebody, and it feels like I'm kissing 'em. 701 00:48:06,218 --> 00:48:10,180 Then I wake up, and I'm still in the same spot as I was when I went to sleep. 702 00:48:10,264 --> 00:48:14,184 And it's like, "Damn. I'm still here?" You know what I mean? 703 00:48:14,268 --> 00:48:15,769 Yeah. 704 00:48:21,149 --> 00:48:23,569 My first baby I gave up temporarily 705 00:48:23,652 --> 00:48:26,989 'cause I was still wanting to run around, and I wasn't ready. 706 00:48:27,072 --> 00:48:30,200 - Was that me? - ...Child Protective Services... 707 00:48:30,284 --> 00:48:31,827 Naw, that can't be. 708 00:48:31,910 --> 00:48:34,121 I was into drug use. 709 00:48:34,955 --> 00:48:37,291 Who is that? Oh, look at Keanna! 710 00:48:37,374 --> 00:48:39,376 That's Keanna, isn't it? 711 00:48:40,043 --> 00:48:43,255 - Oh, look at me and Shawnie. - Couldn't take care of them. 712 00:48:45,382 --> 00:48:46,925 - Wow. - Shawnie? 713 00:48:47,009 --> 00:48:48,260 Hi! 714 00:48:49,595 --> 00:48:51,054 Super pow - Look. 715 00:48:51,138 --> 00:48:53,932 My daughter especially is really happy. 716 00:48:54,016 --> 00:48:58,228 Daylon, he's always a hard one to adjust to people and stuff. 717 00:48:58,312 --> 00:48:59,730 Sometimes he's happy. 718 00:48:59,813 --> 00:49:02,399 - Do you like where you're staying at? - Yeah. 719 00:49:02,482 --> 00:49:04,192 - You do? - Yeah. 720 00:49:04,276 --> 00:49:07,821 I remember why I liked suspenders. I had them back in the day. 721 00:49:07,904 --> 00:49:10,782 ...that I can say is mine and love and -. 722 00:49:10,866 --> 00:49:12,159 That's sad. 723 00:49:12,242 --> 00:49:13,952 That looks like it hurt. 724 00:49:14,036 --> 00:49:15,537 She eat it. 725 00:49:15,621 --> 00:49:17,623 They're still young enough to where 726 00:49:17,706 --> 00:49:21,209 I can try to make my life better, or their lives better. 727 00:49:21,293 --> 00:49:24,463 Eventually start school again and, uh, get them back 728 00:49:24,546 --> 00:49:26,548 and spend a lot of time with them 729 00:49:26,632 --> 00:49:28,800 so they wouldn't think that I don't love them. 730 00:49:28,884 --> 00:49:30,802 Mom was kinda pretty back in the day. 731 00:49:30,886 --> 00:49:33,972 So, what do you want to know about the foster home? 732 00:49:34,056 --> 00:49:36,975 Um, how they're doing. 733 00:49:38,435 --> 00:49:39,728 That is sad. 734 00:49:39,811 --> 00:49:42,397 They still ask about coming back, you know, 735 00:49:42,481 --> 00:49:45,150 but they seem to be really happy, 736 00:49:45,233 --> 00:49:49,071 and it's just a real warm place. 737 00:49:49,154 --> 00:49:51,573 - She really likes - - Do you even care, really? 738 00:49:51,657 --> 00:49:53,617 I think you made the right decision. 739 00:49:53,700 --> 00:49:56,119 They're real well taken care of. 740 00:49:57,412 --> 00:49:59,956 I want to meet the people. 741 00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:02,793 How do you do that? How do you just be okay 742 00:50:02,876 --> 00:50:05,170 with where your kids are at like that? 743 00:50:05,253 --> 00:50:07,547 I just don't understand that. 744 00:50:07,631 --> 00:50:09,549 - Really? - Not letting her out of my sight. 745 00:50:09,633 --> 00:50:11,635 I would stop everything for my kids. 746 00:50:11,718 --> 00:50:16,973 If I had a chance to have my kids, I would stop a lot of shit, you know? 747 00:50:18,642 --> 00:50:20,268 I miss my kids a lot. 748 00:50:25,107 --> 00:50:26,733 Me and my mom. 749 00:50:26,817 --> 00:50:28,360 Come on, Mom. 750 00:50:28,443 --> 00:50:31,196 - Want me to give you a piggyback ride? - Oh, yeah, sure. 751 00:50:31,279 --> 00:50:33,615 Erin, don't - don't you dare. 752 00:50:33,699 --> 00:50:35,575 - Why? - 'Cause. 753 00:50:35,659 --> 00:50:36,868 Come on, Mom. 754 00:50:36,952 --> 00:50:40,747 The first time Erin ran away from home, I called the police. 755 00:50:40,831 --> 00:50:42,999 Puppas! 756 00:50:43,083 --> 00:50:45,836 Before I found Erin, it was about a week. 757 00:50:49,131 --> 00:50:51,717 Hey, Puppas! 758 00:50:53,385 --> 00:50:56,513 For about three months, I tried to get her to come home. 759 00:50:56,596 --> 00:50:58,557 My P-P-Puppas. 760 00:51:06,189 --> 00:51:10,444 She has grown up quite a bit since she's been on these streets. 761 00:51:10,527 --> 00:51:12,612 Don't fall. 762 00:51:12,696 --> 00:51:14,948 She was 14 going on 21. 763 00:51:20,203 --> 00:51:24,082 When I was drinking, Erin and I used to get in some bad arguments. 764 00:51:24,166 --> 00:51:27,794 I could see it in her mind, she was thinking, "Oh, no. Not again." 765 00:51:33,633 --> 00:51:36,553 The first time Erin was arrested for prostitution, 766 00:51:36,636 --> 00:51:39,222 I knew she was running around downtown on the streets, 767 00:51:39,306 --> 00:51:42,350 but I had no idea she was doing something like that. 768 00:51:46,188 --> 00:51:50,484 One day she come home, told me she'd made $200. 769 00:51:50,567 --> 00:51:54,529 $200? I about fell off my chair. 770 00:51:54,613 --> 00:51:58,575 I can't stop her from doing this, 'cause she's just gonna do it anyways. 771 00:52:04,581 --> 00:52:06,416 When Erin first told me about this, 772 00:52:06,500 --> 00:52:09,586 she thought I would be really angry with her and hate her. 773 00:52:09,669 --> 00:52:13,507 But I don't. It's just a phase she's going through right now. 774 00:52:14,549 --> 00:52:16,968 - What's wrong with your puppy? - Don't ask. 775 00:52:17,052 --> 00:52:20,680 Erin's always wanting this and wanting that. 776 00:52:20,764 --> 00:52:23,809 When you're a waitress, you just don't make that much. 777 00:52:25,143 --> 00:52:28,230 She'll see something she'll want, and I just can't afford it. 778 00:52:28,313 --> 00:52:30,190 And I just hate telling her no. 779 00:52:30,273 --> 00:52:33,276 - These three colors. - Eye shadow pencil. 780 00:52:33,360 --> 00:52:37,614 Yeah, and the eye lining. I want these - The basic blue and the basic black. 781 00:52:37,697 --> 00:52:39,991 Did you see the things I marked out of here? 782 00:52:40,075 --> 00:52:41,451 - No. - Look. 783 00:52:41,535 --> 00:52:45,789 In headlines this morning on KIRO News Radio 71, Carnation, 784 00:52:45,872 --> 00:52:49,584 the proposal by the city of Bellevue to build a dam on the Snoqualmie River 785 00:52:49,668 --> 00:52:51,878 in order to get its own supply of water... 786 00:52:56,675 --> 00:52:58,844 I want to show you some things. 787 00:52:58,927 --> 00:53:02,264 The younger kids had a chance to live with their mom, and you never did. 788 00:53:02,347 --> 00:53:04,015 Why don't you talk about that? 789 00:53:04,099 --> 00:53:06,601 I don't know why it makes me cry. 790 00:53:06,685 --> 00:53:09,938 I do remember being in a home. 791 00:53:10,021 --> 00:53:12,482 It was just me and Daylon. 792 00:53:12,566 --> 00:53:15,527 - Where are you going? - I'm leaving. 793 00:53:18,572 --> 00:53:21,116 Holly would say, "At least say goodbye." 794 00:53:21,199 --> 00:53:23,743 Why? They don't want to talk to me. 795 00:53:23,827 --> 00:53:27,289 They're just kids, you know? This is hard on them too. 796 00:53:28,707 --> 00:53:32,127 So you'll see them in a week. 797 00:53:32,210 --> 00:53:34,170 Why are you so sad? 798 00:53:34,254 --> 00:53:37,299 Because I miss you guys. 799 00:53:37,382 --> 00:53:39,801 Yeah, I do. 800 00:53:39,885 --> 00:53:41,720 Why got mad? 801 00:53:41,803 --> 00:53:43,221 'Cause... 802 00:53:43,305 --> 00:53:45,765 When I came over yesterday, 803 00:53:45,849 --> 00:53:49,853 it felt like we were hugging and holding just like inside of this video. 804 00:53:51,688 --> 00:53:53,148 And I'm happy. 805 00:53:53,231 --> 00:53:57,402 Inside of her arms, I do feel protected. And loved. 806 00:53:57,485 --> 00:54:00,280 And not rejected. 807 00:54:00,363 --> 00:54:02,866 I feel like she's rejected me a lot. 808 00:54:04,784 --> 00:54:09,414 I've always, like, kind of had the idea of family, you know, 809 00:54:09,497 --> 00:54:12,751 like the Huxtables on The Cosby Show, you know? 810 00:54:12,834 --> 00:54:15,378 Something like that, you know, and just -. 811 00:54:15,462 --> 00:54:18,048 Or, like, the Roseanne show, you know? 812 00:54:18,131 --> 00:54:20,967 Everybody gets along even though we're kind of dysfunctional. 813 00:54:21,051 --> 00:54:24,095 But we all can't have that life. 814 00:54:24,179 --> 00:54:26,765 We all are born for the life that we are. 815 00:54:27,432 --> 00:54:28,892 'Cause there's a reason. 816 00:54:50,747 --> 00:54:53,416 Reconnecting and meeting up with my mom again, 817 00:54:53,500 --> 00:54:55,669 I've cried about it so many times. 818 00:54:55,752 --> 00:54:59,714 Kind of like a missing puzzle piece that finally fits in. 819 00:54:59,798 --> 00:55:03,760 - I smell some kind of, like, liquor. - Let me smell. 820 00:55:03,843 --> 00:55:05,723 What I've been trying to tell her all my life... 821 00:55:05,804 --> 00:55:06,972 Like a margarita. 822 00:55:07,055 --> 00:55:10,684 ..."Love me, but don't treat me how your mother treated you." 823 00:55:11,893 --> 00:55:13,520 Yeah, I hate that song. 824 00:55:13,603 --> 00:55:15,855 The same love that you were looking for with your mother 825 00:55:15,939 --> 00:55:17,607 is the same one I'm looking for with you. 826 00:55:17,691 --> 00:55:20,485 I should've acted like that when you wanted to wear makeup. 827 00:55:20,568 --> 00:55:22,529 She's always put things, 828 00:55:22,612 --> 00:55:26,616 like men or alcohol and the drugs and stuff like that, before me, 829 00:55:26,700 --> 00:55:28,576 before her kids. 830 00:55:28,660 --> 00:55:32,080 I was like, I want to get my message with God. 831 00:55:32,163 --> 00:55:33,707 She's a bit selfish. 832 00:55:33,790 --> 00:55:37,335 I just need to know that God's really watching on me. 833 00:55:53,476 --> 00:55:55,478 Leave the empty bags on the side. 834 00:55:55,562 --> 00:55:58,440 Hey. Hey. Put that up there. 835 00:56:14,622 --> 00:56:19,044 So then they didn't have no churches, so you came - went to Spokane. 836 00:56:19,127 --> 00:56:21,921 Yeah. There was no churches out in North Dakota. 837 00:56:22,005 --> 00:56:23,965 - There was no churches? - Not where I was at. 838 00:56:24,049 --> 00:56:26,843 I was like 45 minutes away from the nearest Walmart. 839 00:56:26,926 --> 00:56:28,386 - Are you serious? - Yeah. 840 00:56:41,941 --> 00:56:45,445 Kayteonna. Kayteonna. Time to get up, mama. 841 00:56:45,528 --> 00:56:48,823 - I sleep strong. - Time to get up. Kayteonna? 842 00:56:48,907 --> 00:56:52,535 - I'm the hardest person to wake up. - Time to get up. 843 00:56:52,619 --> 00:56:55,371 - J'Lisa? - J'Lisa ain't hard to wake up like me. 844 00:56:55,455 --> 00:56:57,582 J'Lisa? J'Lisa? 845 00:56:57,665 --> 00:57:01,336 She'll throw a fit about getting her clothes on... 846 00:57:01,419 --> 00:57:04,881 - Get your clothes. You got your clothes? - ...or getting her hair done. 847 00:57:04,964 --> 00:57:07,258 - J'Lisa? - I love J'Lisa. 848 00:57:07,342 --> 00:57:08,635 You ready for school? 849 00:57:08,718 --> 00:57:11,054 I told my children what I wanted for my birthday. 850 00:57:11,137 --> 00:57:12,889 There you go. Come on, old lady. 851 00:57:13,681 --> 00:57:15,725 I want to see them graduate. 852 00:57:15,809 --> 00:57:17,852 I want them to blossom. 853 00:57:17,936 --> 00:57:20,980 I want them to stick together like glue. 854 00:57:21,064 --> 00:57:23,024 Pull each other up in life. 855 00:57:28,571 --> 00:57:30,281 - You want one? - No. 856 00:57:31,449 --> 00:57:32,784 What do you cook 'em on? 857 00:57:36,412 --> 00:57:39,582 I look at my children, so outgoing. 858 00:57:40,875 --> 00:57:44,420 They want friends. They want people to like them. 859 00:57:45,922 --> 00:57:50,343 I want them to go to college, to grab a career and don't let it go. 860 00:57:53,930 --> 00:57:57,767 Being raised up in this country as a Black man, it's not easy. 861 00:57:59,185 --> 00:58:01,855 You have so much against you. 862 00:58:02,981 --> 00:58:06,818 There's gonna be days they're gonna make choices that's not good. 863 00:58:07,777 --> 00:58:10,321 But they have that right also to pick their heads up 864 00:58:10,405 --> 00:58:12,657 and make a better life for themselves. 865 00:58:14,367 --> 00:58:17,620 Mikka has a dad, but he's out doing his thing, 866 00:58:17,704 --> 00:58:19,914 and so Mikka never sees him. 867 00:58:19,998 --> 00:58:22,542 I went to see my dad in jail. 868 00:58:22,625 --> 00:58:29,215 My dad is a tall Black man. 869 00:58:30,425 --> 00:58:33,386 He - I never see him anymore. 870 00:58:34,262 --> 00:58:40,059 And he - he does drugs, he sells drugs, 871 00:58:40,143 --> 00:58:43,146 and he was in jail once. 872 00:58:43,229 --> 00:58:46,608 Oh, that's Julian. Me and Julian was young. 873 00:58:46,691 --> 00:58:48,943 I am number four. The fourth oldest. 874 00:58:49,027 --> 00:58:52,405 Was this by Wild Waves, the apartments that we stayed - Yeah. 875 00:58:52,488 --> 00:58:54,866 I remember 'cause of that countertop. 876 00:58:54,949 --> 00:58:57,827 I think the difference between the first five and the last five 877 00:58:57,911 --> 00:58:59,871 is the fatherly figure being there. 878 00:58:59,954 --> 00:59:02,874 I forgot what I was upset about. I think I didn't get no bacon. 879 00:59:02,957 --> 00:59:05,084 I didn't get no bacon. 880 00:59:05,960 --> 00:59:07,712 I was mad about it. 881 00:59:09,130 --> 00:59:11,341 Gosh, my hair, man. 882 00:59:11,424 --> 00:59:14,427 My hair looks the same in every picture. 883 00:59:14,510 --> 00:59:17,222 - I don't even know how long ago this was. - Our complexion? 884 00:59:17,305 --> 00:59:20,266 It's like a bag of Skittles. We're all different. 885 00:59:20,350 --> 00:59:23,436 I feel like Shawnie is, like, the lightest out of all of us. 886 00:59:23,519 --> 00:59:24,771 No, Daylon. 887 00:59:24,854 --> 00:59:27,190 Keanna would probably be the second lightest. 888 00:59:27,273 --> 00:59:29,359 Then me. Then it would be Rayshon. 889 00:59:29,442 --> 00:59:31,319 Then the rest of the kids. 890 00:59:34,405 --> 00:59:37,575 So wild. That's so wild. 891 00:59:37,659 --> 00:59:40,787 Some moments I have, there are moments being Black, 892 00:59:40,870 --> 00:59:43,623 and there's some moments I have to be white. 893 00:59:43,706 --> 00:59:46,251 I feel, like, in between, 'cause I'm mixed. 894 00:59:46,334 --> 00:59:47,627 Yeah. 895 00:59:48,711 --> 00:59:50,505 My mom? 896 00:59:50,588 --> 00:59:55,009 She's trying to recover from all the mistakes she made in her past. 897 00:59:56,052 --> 00:59:58,012 Oh, gosh. So young. 898 00:59:58,096 --> 01:00:00,765 Me and my mom's bond is really not as strong anymore. 899 01:00:00,848 --> 01:00:04,894 Wow. That's a while ago. Downtown. 900 01:00:04,978 --> 01:00:09,107 She's been talking about reconnecting with everybody and working things out, 901 01:00:09,190 --> 01:00:13,736 and I feel like it's time to go make dues with her. 902 01:00:13,820 --> 01:00:15,947 What's up? 903 01:00:18,408 --> 01:00:21,286 How y'all been? Gettin' all big on me now. 904 01:00:21,369 --> 01:00:24,122 - I just want my mom to get better. - I'll be upstairs. 905 01:00:24,205 --> 01:00:25,665 It doesn't matter who you are. 906 01:00:25,748 --> 01:00:28,668 If you do drugs, it's always gonna be a problem with you at the end. 907 01:00:28,751 --> 01:00:30,253 You look all big and stuff. 908 01:00:30,336 --> 01:00:34,007 It affected me because that's my mom. I like to talk to my mom. 909 01:00:34,090 --> 01:00:36,843 - Shawnie, Mikka, Mom's inside the shower. - You came back! 910 01:00:36,926 --> 01:00:38,928 Is Mom in the shower? 911 01:00:41,014 --> 01:00:44,017 I love my mom. You only get one. 912 01:00:45,560 --> 01:00:49,105 It's just that feeling you have from that person 913 01:00:49,188 --> 01:00:51,399 'cause they gave birth to you. 914 01:00:51,482 --> 01:00:54,360 I can feel it, like, she really loves me deep down. 915 01:00:56,112 --> 01:00:59,657 My mom thinks I'm good-looking because I came from her. 916 01:00:59,741 --> 01:01:01,784 And she say I look like my dad. 917 01:01:04,787 --> 01:01:07,498 One time when I was little, he came home. 918 01:01:07,582 --> 01:01:10,585 That's the last thing I can really remember of him, 919 01:01:10,668 --> 01:01:14,088 other than seeing him one time in jail behind the bars. 920 01:01:14,172 --> 01:01:16,215 - You in school now? - Yeah. 921 01:01:16,299 --> 01:01:19,052 My mom was a hooker at the time when she met him. 922 01:01:19,135 --> 01:01:20,762 I gotta go. 923 01:01:20,845 --> 01:01:22,847 So he was just like some random dude. 924 01:01:22,930 --> 01:01:26,225 - Look, I did his hair. - Yeah, but you messed it up, kinda. 925 01:01:26,309 --> 01:01:28,686 The lineup on this side is -. 926 01:01:28,770 --> 01:01:31,189 - You tried to do the lineup over here. - I know. 927 01:01:32,106 --> 01:01:34,734 Need to leave that anger stuff alone, young man. 928 01:01:34,817 --> 01:01:35,985 You look good. 929 01:01:40,448 --> 01:01:42,784 I'm about to go outside and play basketball. 930 01:01:42,867 --> 01:01:45,620 What is Ranaja doing? No! 931 01:01:45,703 --> 01:01:47,955 There's blood on the dance floor. 932 01:01:48,039 --> 01:01:49,999 No! 933 01:01:51,376 --> 01:01:53,336 And they got that one. Whose is that? 934 01:01:53,419 --> 01:01:55,296 Mikka, you want gum? Tiny, you want gum? 935 01:01:55,380 --> 01:01:57,507 I have a gum. Thank you, though. 936 01:01:57,590 --> 01:02:00,051 - I like Carrie. - You like Carrie? Who's Carrie? 937 01:02:00,134 --> 01:02:02,720 - Carrie is right here. - Oh, Harry. 938 01:02:04,305 --> 01:02:06,432 Dang, Mom's still in the shower? 939 01:02:06,516 --> 01:02:08,142 Mom takes very long showers. 940 01:02:08,226 --> 01:02:09,936 How long has she been starting that? 941 01:02:10,019 --> 01:02:12,063 - Finished with school. - No, you're not. 942 01:02:12,146 --> 01:02:14,649 You wanna see? What's that look like, girl? 943 01:02:14,732 --> 01:02:17,276 - He can't read. - He don't know. 944 01:02:18,736 --> 01:02:20,988 She gonna learn though, huh? 945 01:02:21,072 --> 01:02:24,117 My GED is more of a surprise thing. 946 01:02:24,200 --> 01:02:25,785 I got all my points. 947 01:02:25,868 --> 01:02:28,454 She's gonna feel excited that I really finished it. 948 01:02:28,538 --> 01:02:30,248 - It took me a while. - You passed? 949 01:02:30,331 --> 01:02:33,084 - Yeah. It's my GED. - Since I was 16. 950 01:02:37,547 --> 01:02:39,715 Wow! Tattoo! 951 01:02:39,799 --> 01:02:42,260 I was thinking about going back to school 952 01:02:42,343 --> 01:02:46,347 'cause I want to do stuff like an architect or engineering. 953 01:02:46,431 --> 01:02:49,725 Wanna have my own place and probably have at least a kid. 954 01:02:49,809 --> 01:02:51,060 Have a car. 955 01:02:51,144 --> 01:02:54,105 Have myself together in a better place. 956 01:02:54,188 --> 01:02:55,773 Can we go to the park? 957 01:02:55,857 --> 01:02:58,609 Mom, don't forget it. Did you forget it? 958 01:02:58,693 --> 01:03:02,780 Can we go to the park? Mom, can we go to the park? 959 01:03:08,411 --> 01:03:09,620 Come on. 960 01:03:09,704 --> 01:03:11,956 I can't run in these shoes. 961 01:03:28,222 --> 01:03:31,017 That didn't hurt, Mikka? 'Cause that's the ribs. 962 01:03:31,100 --> 01:03:34,353 - Yeah. This one did hurt. - Oh, you got that? Boy! 963 01:03:34,437 --> 01:03:37,857 - Mom, look at the height difference. - Mom, look. 964 01:03:37,940 --> 01:03:40,485 I got the paper that says I passed my GED. 965 01:03:40,568 --> 01:03:43,237 - I'm gonna hang it up above my window. - What is that? 966 01:03:43,321 --> 01:03:45,406 - Oh, did you get it? - Yeah. 967 01:03:45,490 --> 01:03:47,992 What? Wow! 968 01:03:48,075 --> 01:03:51,078 I feel accomplished that I finished it. 969 01:03:51,162 --> 01:03:52,622 It tells you, uh... 970 01:04:10,932 --> 01:04:14,769 Erin has been in the world of crack since 1997. 971 01:04:14,852 --> 01:04:16,729 I know this for a fact. 972 01:04:16,812 --> 01:04:19,190 She have bad dreams now, just like anybody else 973 01:04:19,273 --> 01:04:21,901 who have done wrong and cleaned up their act, 974 01:04:21,984 --> 01:04:25,404 because sometimes the devil just wants you to get out and do your thing. 975 01:04:25,488 --> 01:04:26,656 But she tells me. 976 01:04:26,739 --> 01:04:29,408 She say, "I had a bad dream. It's about smoking." 977 01:04:36,457 --> 01:04:39,877 I admit that I am addicted to it. 978 01:04:39,961 --> 01:04:43,839 All you do is drop one fucking drug for a-fucking-nother! 979 01:04:43,923 --> 01:04:46,217 And all you do is make up these fucking excuses 980 01:04:46,300 --> 01:04:48,928 why you can't get off this fucking shit! 981 01:04:49,011 --> 01:04:50,429 You are fucking hypocritical! 982 01:04:50,513 --> 01:04:53,349 You guys don't know what's good for me! 983 01:04:53,432 --> 01:04:56,185 Then how you gonna try to sit here and dictate 984 01:04:56,269 --> 01:04:58,229 what's good for other people? 985 01:04:58,312 --> 01:05:01,983 - How do you know it's my birthday? - Because I just googled you, bitch! 986 01:05:06,946 --> 01:05:08,990 You okay, Mama? 987 01:05:12,618 --> 01:05:14,120 It's cold. 988 01:05:14,203 --> 01:05:16,664 I wish we were just one big happy family. 989 01:05:16,747 --> 01:05:19,250 The only happy family in this world 990 01:05:19,333 --> 01:05:22,003 are written in fictional books. 991 01:05:22,086 --> 01:05:23,754 Made-up stories. 992 01:05:23,838 --> 01:05:26,716 Fairy tales. 993 01:05:26,799 --> 01:05:30,219 My dad has been in and out a lot. 994 01:05:30,303 --> 01:05:32,555 I'm surprised that he's been here this long now. 995 01:05:32,638 --> 01:05:34,140 - I love you, Mom. - I love you too. 996 01:05:34,223 --> 01:05:35,891 Living in his motel. 997 01:05:35,975 --> 01:05:38,227 I'm just trying to help her. That's all. 998 01:05:38,311 --> 01:05:39,937 I know. 999 01:05:40,021 --> 01:05:42,607 I have to say something else, Shawnie. 1000 01:05:42,690 --> 01:05:46,527 - I take care of these kids. You do not. - I understand that. 1001 01:05:46,611 --> 01:05:51,574 And therefore, Shawnie, you have no say-so over what I do. 1002 01:05:52,992 --> 01:05:54,744 I don't take care of you. 1003 01:05:55,911 --> 01:06:01,208 You've got to stop trying to live my life and tell me how to live it. 1004 01:06:02,126 --> 01:06:03,961 It's not up to you what I do. 1005 01:06:04,712 --> 01:06:07,590 You don't have to come around me 1006 01:06:07,673 --> 01:06:11,761 if it bothers you that much to see what I'm doing. 1007 01:06:13,471 --> 01:06:16,515 'Cause I just feel like we're gonna just crash again. 1008 01:06:17,850 --> 01:06:20,144 And it's not fair to either one of us. 1009 01:06:27,902 --> 01:06:29,987 She's still making excuses. 1010 01:06:32,239 --> 01:06:34,784 She's right. You guys are not my kids. 1011 01:06:34,867 --> 01:06:37,161 But it would be good to keep on seeing you, yeah? 1012 01:06:37,244 --> 01:06:38,371 Yeah. 1013 01:06:40,581 --> 01:06:42,625 Yes, you may. 1014 01:06:42,708 --> 01:06:44,794 Why, yes, you may. 1015 01:06:44,877 --> 01:06:47,338 What is your problem? 1016 01:06:47,421 --> 01:06:49,715 You gonna beat us? No, no. 1017 01:06:57,890 --> 01:07:00,643 At school, I don't act up like how Rayshon does. 1018 01:07:00,726 --> 01:07:03,312 That's true. You only do it at home. 1019 01:07:03,396 --> 01:07:04,689 Yep, that's right. 1020 01:07:06,691 --> 01:07:09,443 Why do you do it at home and not at school? 1021 01:07:09,527 --> 01:07:13,406 Because I have work to do at school, and I have to finish my work. 1022 01:07:13,489 --> 01:07:17,993 Oh! So if I give you work here, would you do like you do at school? 1023 01:07:18,077 --> 01:07:19,078 Yep. 1024 01:07:19,161 --> 01:07:23,207 Why don't you clean up the front door area? 1025 01:07:23,290 --> 01:07:24,750 The front door area? 1026 01:07:24,834 --> 01:07:27,211 Yeah. Kind of organize stuff around there. 1027 01:07:27,294 --> 01:07:29,296 Pick up all the shoes, put them in the bucket. 1028 01:07:29,380 --> 01:07:30,631 Okay. 1029 01:07:30,715 --> 01:07:33,592 Then get the vacuum cleaner and vacuum up all the dirt. 1030 01:07:33,676 --> 01:07:36,220 - Okay. - And then you mop it. 1031 01:07:36,303 --> 01:07:37,346 Okay. 1032 01:07:38,931 --> 01:07:41,600 You can open up the front door a little. 1033 01:07:41,684 --> 01:07:43,686 Right there? 1034 01:07:43,769 --> 01:07:45,521 Just about to where -. 1035 01:07:46,564 --> 01:07:48,107 Too much water, JuJu. 1036 01:07:48,190 --> 01:07:51,652 Yeah, open it up. A little bit more. 1037 01:07:51,736 --> 01:07:54,488 - Right there? - Okay. That's good. 1038 01:07:57,158 --> 01:07:59,785 Hi. This is kind of a non-emergency. 1039 01:08:00,911 --> 01:08:03,205 Okay, I need somebody to come pick up my son. 1040 01:08:03,289 --> 01:08:07,918 He's on the home monitoring, and not abiding by the rules here, 1041 01:08:08,002 --> 01:08:11,505 so I need somebody to come pick him up and take him down to juvie. 1042 01:08:11,589 --> 01:08:13,382 He's cussing at me. 1043 01:08:13,466 --> 01:08:17,720 He's, um, kind of, you know, acting like he's running the household. 1044 01:08:17,803 --> 01:08:21,265 Also, he had somebody go down and pick him up some weed, 1045 01:08:21,348 --> 01:08:23,184 bring it to the house, and I found out, 1046 01:08:23,267 --> 01:08:25,936 and I made those people take it back to where they got it from. 1047 01:08:26,020 --> 01:08:27,521 That's not allowed in my house. 1048 01:08:27,605 --> 01:08:30,483 So now I can't trust him. You know. 1049 01:08:30,566 --> 01:08:32,693 And he's verbal with the younger siblings, 1050 01:08:32,777 --> 01:08:35,404 and I just, you know, don't want to deal with that. 1051 01:08:35,488 --> 01:08:36,781 Blackwell. 1052 01:08:38,240 --> 01:08:39,575 Rayshon. 1053 01:08:40,743 --> 01:08:42,912 R-A-Y-S-H-O-N. 1054 01:08:45,247 --> 01:08:47,917 Uh, he's 5'10". 1055 01:08:48,000 --> 01:08:50,211 Skinny. Black. 1056 01:08:50,294 --> 01:08:52,838 Very little - Just a couple hairs on the chin. 1057 01:08:52,922 --> 01:08:55,049 He's got a mustache, though. Charles. 1058 01:08:56,926 --> 01:08:58,177 Erin. 1059 01:09:00,137 --> 01:09:01,305 Yes. 1060 01:09:02,890 --> 01:09:03,891 A. 1061 01:09:07,561 --> 01:09:09,021 5869. 1062 01:09:10,898 --> 01:09:11,941 Yeah. 1063 01:09:13,901 --> 01:09:15,027 Yes. 1064 01:09:20,241 --> 01:09:21,492 Okay. 1065 01:09:21,575 --> 01:09:23,369 Hop on in. 1066 01:09:23,452 --> 01:09:26,121 Seat belt, and we'll get out of here. 1067 01:09:26,205 --> 01:09:27,832 Uh-huh. Bye. 1068 01:09:28,749 --> 01:09:31,669 I hate to do that, but you know what? He's gotta learn. 1069 01:09:31,752 --> 01:09:33,629 He can't just do me like that. 1070 01:09:33,712 --> 01:09:35,631 - Does he know that he's leaving? - Huh? 1071 01:09:35,714 --> 01:09:39,260 - Does he know that he's leaving? - No. He probably didn't believe me. 1072 01:09:40,803 --> 01:09:44,265 Does he think that you're gonna be too scared to call on him? 1073 01:09:44,348 --> 01:09:46,267 No, I'm not scared. He just probably thinks, 1074 01:09:46,350 --> 01:09:49,019 "Oh, Mom always says that and then she never does it." 1075 01:09:49,103 --> 01:09:52,273 I feel that if I didn't speak up in court, 1076 01:09:52,356 --> 01:09:55,734 they wouldn't think that I really cared. 1077 01:09:55,818 --> 01:10:00,364 I know what would work for my son, but they can't do what I wanted to do. 1078 01:10:00,447 --> 01:10:04,869 What I wanted was six months' probation and home monitoring. 1079 01:10:04,952 --> 01:10:09,164 Rayshon would go to school. Get better grades. I would help him. 1080 01:10:09,248 --> 01:10:14,128 Mom can't fire you, much as she'd like to sometimes. 1081 01:10:14,211 --> 01:10:18,424 'Cause, you know, you're paying for electricity, right? 1082 01:10:18,507 --> 01:10:21,051 - No. - Oh, you pay for food? 1083 01:10:21,135 --> 01:10:22,177 No. 1084 01:10:22,261 --> 01:10:24,680 You freeloading, man! 1085 01:10:24,763 --> 01:10:29,852 Your job, your only job, is to attend school, right? 1086 01:10:29,935 --> 01:10:31,645 You're not doing your part. 1087 01:10:31,729 --> 01:10:35,649 And your younger brothers and sisters, the younger folks in the house, 1088 01:10:35,733 --> 01:10:37,902 they say, "Rayshon's not going to school. 1089 01:10:37,985 --> 01:10:40,487 I wanna be just like Rayshon and not go to school." 1090 01:10:40,571 --> 01:10:41,947 Right? 1091 01:10:43,782 --> 01:10:46,035 Nah, they're actually pretty good in school. 1092 01:10:58,881 --> 01:11:01,383 Excuse me. Yes? 1093 01:11:01,467 --> 01:11:03,385 What are you doing? 1094 01:11:03,469 --> 01:11:05,971 What are you doing? 1095 01:11:06,055 --> 01:11:08,307 Playing on my computer. 1096 01:11:08,390 --> 01:11:12,561 - Mah-jongg. - What time can I come down there? 1097 01:11:12,645 --> 01:11:13,938 I love my mom. 1098 01:11:14,021 --> 01:11:15,689 Oh, anytime before 3:00. 1099 01:11:15,773 --> 01:11:18,817 - We have a very distant relationship. - Why before 3:00? 1100 01:11:18,901 --> 01:11:20,527 3:00 is kind of late. 1101 01:11:20,611 --> 01:11:24,198 She does what she does, and I just choose to stay away from it. 1102 01:11:24,281 --> 01:11:25,741 - Mother! - What? 1103 01:11:25,824 --> 01:11:28,827 She's never gonna change, and it just causes arguments. 1104 01:11:28,911 --> 01:11:32,498 No, 'cause when Frank gets home, he don't feel like entertaining. 1105 01:11:32,581 --> 01:11:34,917 He's out working right now. 1106 01:11:35,000 --> 01:11:36,418 So what? 1107 01:11:38,128 --> 01:11:41,423 Okay. Now you've made me miss a move. 1108 01:11:43,926 --> 01:11:46,845 Come on, Beanie! 1109 01:11:46,929 --> 01:11:49,306 Beanie Boy! 1110 01:11:49,390 --> 01:11:51,475 Beans! Come on. Let's go. 1111 01:11:51,558 --> 01:11:53,686 Come on, Bean. Come on! 1112 01:11:53,769 --> 01:11:55,145 Come on. 1113 01:11:57,064 --> 01:11:58,649 Bean! 1114 01:11:58,732 --> 01:12:01,777 Bean, hey. You looky here, sir. 1115 01:12:01,860 --> 01:12:04,405 You don't need to be seeing what's out there. 1116 01:12:04,488 --> 01:12:06,115 Go in the back! 1117 01:12:07,700 --> 01:12:10,744 Oh, honey, don't tease him! 1118 01:12:10,828 --> 01:12:12,579 I don't come down here. 1119 01:12:12,663 --> 01:12:16,458 There's nowhere for the kids to play. Too small in there. Nowhere to sit. 1120 01:12:16,542 --> 01:12:20,671 And that cat is evil. He looked at me like he was about to attack me. 1121 01:12:20,754 --> 01:12:22,631 Oh, Beans. 1122 01:12:22,715 --> 01:12:25,509 I don't trust it. That's my Beanie boy. 1123 01:12:25,592 --> 01:12:27,720 - Get him a little sweater. - He'll pee on it. 1124 01:12:27,803 --> 01:12:30,305 When he goes to the bathroom, he'll end up peeing on it. 1125 01:12:30,389 --> 01:12:32,975 - Doesn't he lift his leg? - Not all the time. 1126 01:12:33,058 --> 01:12:34,601 He bends down. 1127 01:12:34,685 --> 01:12:39,023 - Sometimes he bends down. - Oh, really? That's odd. 1128 01:12:39,106 --> 01:12:41,358 You guys really wanna go in? 1129 01:12:41,442 --> 01:12:43,694 - Yeah. - Okay, let's go in. 1130 01:12:43,777 --> 01:12:46,238 I can sit at the table, but I gotta pee. 1131 01:12:46,321 --> 01:12:49,950 - You can flush it, Erin, can't you? - No. Uh-uh. 1132 01:12:51,243 --> 01:12:53,579 I don't want to touch it. 1133 01:12:53,662 --> 01:12:57,207 - It's gross! - All right. I will. 1134 01:12:58,333 --> 01:13:00,794 She was a cute baby. 1135 01:13:00,878 --> 01:13:02,963 Okay. 1136 01:13:03,047 --> 01:13:06,842 I don't have any baby pictures of her either. 1137 01:13:06,925 --> 01:13:10,220 Okay, just a minute. Put this out. 1138 01:13:11,638 --> 01:13:14,224 And I've got some soap in here, Erin. 1139 01:13:19,605 --> 01:13:22,357 Do you ask me like that? 1140 01:13:22,441 --> 01:13:23,776 No, you don't. 1141 01:13:23,859 --> 01:13:27,071 I'm not a religious person. I never tell nobody I'm religious. 1142 01:13:27,154 --> 01:13:31,116 But in the book of Hosea, in the Bible, Hosea married a prostitute. 1143 01:13:32,743 --> 01:13:37,247 And when you have been in the situation that she's been into, 1144 01:13:37,331 --> 01:13:41,752 prostitutes have a way of being people that have been driven out there 1145 01:13:41,835 --> 01:13:44,421 for some odd reason, and drugs were her problem. 1146 01:13:44,505 --> 01:13:46,799 - You'd better not! - Drugs and her mother. 1147 01:13:48,592 --> 01:13:51,929 Erin want things. She had the opportunity to have things. 1148 01:13:52,012 --> 01:13:55,099 But her mother destroyed that, took her away from it. 1149 01:13:55,182 --> 01:14:00,104 That's why when she have something now, she just hold on to it. 1150 01:14:00,187 --> 01:14:03,690 - 'Cause you can't face reality. - Well, neither can you, damn it! 1151 01:14:03,774 --> 01:14:06,151 - Oh, yes, I can. - Bullshit! 1152 01:14:06,235 --> 01:14:08,695 - Oh, yes, I can. - Why don't you just go home? 1153 01:14:08,779 --> 01:14:10,239 - I'm going. - Brat. 1154 01:14:10,322 --> 01:14:14,159 - You made me like this. - Oh, baloney. You made yourself this way. 1155 01:14:19,331 --> 01:14:21,792 Maybe I'd have a real mother if she'd believe what she does... 1156 01:14:21,875 --> 01:14:24,545 - Maybe if I had a daughter... - ...and quit fucking drinking. 1157 01:14:24,628 --> 01:14:26,547 ...that didn't hit the street! 1158 01:14:26,630 --> 01:14:27,923 Bitch. 1159 01:14:32,678 --> 01:14:35,013 I don't know if my mom loves me. 1160 01:14:36,849 --> 01:14:39,518 When I was younger, it mattered to me, 1161 01:14:39,601 --> 01:14:42,896 but now it's just like - She's just like a friend. 1162 01:14:42,980 --> 01:14:44,648 Okay, go ahead. 1163 01:14:44,731 --> 01:14:46,525 I didn't flush it. 1164 01:14:46,608 --> 01:14:48,485 Come here, you. 1165 01:14:48,569 --> 01:14:50,612 Impossible kitty cat. 1166 01:14:50,696 --> 01:14:52,990 What's that in that cup? 1167 01:14:53,073 --> 01:14:56,451 - That's my flea catcher. - Oh. Great. 1168 01:14:56,535 --> 01:14:59,079 You have fleas, Mom? 1169 01:14:59,163 --> 01:15:01,498 No, not now. 1170 01:15:08,005 --> 01:15:11,633 - Sure you don't have ear mites? - Nah, I don't think so. 1171 01:15:13,594 --> 01:15:18,056 She stoled somebody's horse one time. I said, "You take that horse right back! 1172 01:15:18,140 --> 01:15:19,725 I'm not gonna go to jail!" 1173 01:15:19,808 --> 01:15:22,102 I remember that. That was Mrs. Sheritts. 1174 01:15:22,186 --> 01:15:24,980 Yes. That horse was big! 1175 01:15:25,063 --> 01:15:29,026 She was only about ten when I made you take that horse back. 1176 01:15:29,109 --> 01:15:32,070 "I don't want to!" I says, "You stoled it. You take it back." 1177 01:15:34,781 --> 01:15:37,701 I don't know how she ever got up on that horse. 1178 01:15:57,512 --> 01:15:59,264 I just see Rayshon. 1179 01:16:02,684 --> 01:16:05,062 He's still my baby. 1180 01:16:08,273 --> 01:16:11,944 I wish I could take Rayshon home every time I leave from there... 1181 01:16:13,362 --> 01:16:14,905 but I can't. 1182 01:16:14,988 --> 01:16:17,324 Totally helpless. Can't do nothing. 1183 01:16:19,826 --> 01:16:25,457 When he does stuff like this, he left everybody behind. 1184 01:16:29,127 --> 01:16:32,881 I think about it every day, like, why couldn't he just listen? 1185 01:16:34,299 --> 01:16:37,803 Why did he have to do that? He screwed it up. 1186 01:16:39,012 --> 01:16:40,722 He's locked up. 1187 01:16:43,267 --> 01:16:47,354 We can't touch him. We can't hug him. We can't kiss him. 1188 01:16:47,437 --> 01:16:48,981 There's a barrier. 1189 01:16:54,778 --> 01:16:59,950 He's in this hole that's just never gonna go away. 1190 01:17:00,033 --> 01:17:03,870 He's going to have that on his back. 1191 01:17:04,705 --> 01:17:05,956 A felony. 1192 01:17:08,667 --> 01:17:11,003 - Hey, Rayshon. - Hi, Mom. 1193 01:17:11,086 --> 01:17:12,796 - How you doing? - I'm doing good. 1194 01:17:13,547 --> 01:17:15,424 Just a little bit stressed. 1195 01:17:16,758 --> 01:17:19,303 I want to apologize for the things I said in the letter. 1196 01:17:19,386 --> 01:17:20,721 That's okay. 1197 01:17:20,804 --> 01:17:23,056 I'm not ashamed of Rayshon. 1198 01:17:23,140 --> 01:17:26,643 I'm just ashamed of the shit that he did. 1199 01:17:26,727 --> 01:17:29,396 - He didn't have to do that. - What's up with Ranaja? 1200 01:17:29,479 --> 01:17:33,275 - But he wanted more. - Ranaja went to juvenile on Monday. 1201 01:17:33,358 --> 01:17:35,777 - Why? - She's been running from home. 1202 01:17:35,861 --> 01:17:38,780 - Ranaja was talking back to me... - She had a warrant. 1203 01:17:38,864 --> 01:17:40,324 ...and she wanted to leave. 1204 01:17:40,407 --> 01:17:42,534 She told me to call the police to come pick her up. 1205 01:17:42,617 --> 01:17:44,202 I told her she couldn't go nowhere. 1206 01:17:44,286 --> 01:17:46,496 How long is she going to be in juvenile for? 1207 01:17:46,580 --> 01:17:48,582 She waited until I was asleep, and then she left. 1208 01:17:48,665 --> 01:17:49,916 She came back on Tuesday. 1209 01:17:50,000 --> 01:17:53,003 I didn't see or hear from her for, like, maybe a week, 1210 01:17:53,086 --> 01:17:55,714 and I finally went out there to look for her. 1211 01:17:57,132 --> 01:17:58,550 And I found her. 1212 01:17:59,968 --> 01:18:03,722 She looked like she ain't showered that whole entire week. 1213 01:18:03,805 --> 01:18:08,101 She didn't look like she changed her clothes, do her hair. 1214 01:18:08,185 --> 01:18:09,895 She looked like a bum. 1215 01:18:12,314 --> 01:18:15,692 I don't understand why she thinks it's so bad here. 1216 01:18:25,827 --> 01:18:28,372 I wish I could be that skinny again. 1217 01:18:31,249 --> 01:18:35,003 - What was that? - Ugh. My mom. Do you see the house? 1218 01:18:37,047 --> 01:18:40,217 This is around the time my mom went to treatment. 1219 01:18:40,300 --> 01:18:43,053 - What were you gonna ask? - Do you remember that day? 1220 01:18:43,136 --> 01:18:44,679 - Yeah. - Was she sad? 1221 01:18:44,763 --> 01:18:47,682 Yeah, I don't know. I mean, she hid under the alcohol. 1222 01:18:47,766 --> 01:18:49,935 So I really don't know. 1223 01:18:50,018 --> 01:18:53,647 That she drank all the time? Yeah, that was sad. 1224 01:18:53,730 --> 01:18:58,318 - Do you remember that? - I don't remember his name. 1225 01:18:58,402 --> 01:19:01,238 Is that before the punk hairdo? 1226 01:19:01,321 --> 01:19:04,991 Mmm, no. This is the same hairdo. 1227 01:19:05,075 --> 01:19:07,285 See how it's cut there? 1228 01:19:07,369 --> 01:19:09,663 Do you remember the jacket? 1229 01:19:09,746 --> 01:19:11,748 Yes, I remember that coat. 1230 01:19:11,832 --> 01:19:15,085 - What color was it? - Oh, it was red. 1231 01:19:19,214 --> 01:19:20,674 All right. 1232 01:19:20,757 --> 01:19:23,176 Just two days after my 13th birthday. 1233 01:19:23,260 --> 01:19:25,220 Call and tell her we're gonna come see her. 1234 01:19:25,303 --> 01:19:28,557 Downtown looking for a Mother's Day present for my mom. 1235 01:19:28,640 --> 01:19:31,560 Girl stabbed in her back. Punctured her lung. 1236 01:19:31,643 --> 01:19:34,646 It was scary because these Black guys would be getting in my face, 1237 01:19:34,729 --> 01:19:36,606 and I just didn't know what to do. 1238 01:19:37,774 --> 01:19:42,028 'Cause I didn't know what the game was. I didn't know about pimps or prostitutes. 1239 01:19:42,112 --> 01:19:45,866 I didn't know little kids my age was prostitutes. 1240 01:19:47,868 --> 01:19:50,871 I thought they were all, like, older women in their 30s. 1241 01:19:51,955 --> 01:19:53,832 Lou Lou is my protection. 1242 01:19:54,875 --> 01:19:56,668 Says I'm her sister. 1243 01:19:58,044 --> 01:20:02,466 My brother and my sister. She called Lisa a bitch. 1244 01:20:02,549 --> 01:20:05,218 You're a movie star, Dawn, and you're even dressed up, huh? 1245 01:20:05,302 --> 01:20:06,344 They ain't filmin' you! 1246 01:20:06,428 --> 01:20:10,182 Some dates are really old men in their 70s. 1247 01:20:11,057 --> 01:20:13,477 For a blowjob, it'd be 30 on up. 1248 01:20:13,560 --> 01:20:15,854 For a handjob is 25. 1249 01:20:17,230 --> 01:20:21,568 Most of these veterinarian hos would charge more than us little kids do. 1250 01:20:21,651 --> 01:20:23,987 She almost knocked your radio off. Hit her. 1251 01:20:24,070 --> 01:20:25,989 You must have a death wish, baby. 1252 01:20:35,499 --> 01:20:37,834 They picked me up. 1253 01:20:37,918 --> 01:20:40,712 I don't care if they picked you up or you picked them up. 1254 01:20:40,795 --> 01:20:42,422 It's not right. 1255 01:20:42,506 --> 01:20:46,009 I got raped the second week I was downtown. 1256 01:20:47,385 --> 01:20:50,305 I wish I was still at home, going to school. 1257 01:20:50,388 --> 01:20:52,807 I wish my mom would stop her drinking. 1258 01:20:53,642 --> 01:20:56,061 'Cause the mess I'm in now is horrible. 1259 01:20:59,648 --> 01:21:02,275 I'm supposed to be in 9th grade this year. 1260 01:21:04,319 --> 01:21:07,072 I want to get a tutor to myself, 1261 01:21:07,155 --> 01:21:09,324 get my diploma and into college 1262 01:21:09,407 --> 01:21:14,996 and be a policewoman or a veterinarian 1263 01:21:15,080 --> 01:21:18,625 or a computerize person that works on computers 1264 01:21:18,708 --> 01:21:20,585 that gets paid a lot of money. 1265 01:21:31,012 --> 01:21:33,431 I don't really want to go back to school... 1266 01:21:35,267 --> 01:21:37,060 but I've got to. 1267 01:21:38,436 --> 01:21:41,106 I don't want to be shooting up drugs all my life. 1268 01:21:54,286 --> 01:21:56,788 I want my kids to have a future. 1269 01:21:57,497 --> 01:21:58,915 To have a life. 1270 01:21:58,999 --> 01:22:01,960 I don't want them to be struggling. 1271 01:22:02,043 --> 01:22:04,546 - They're just my kids. - Patty-cake, patty-cake. 1272 01:22:04,629 --> 01:22:08,967 Bake me a cake as fast as you can. 1273 01:22:09,050 --> 01:22:11,052 Roll it. 1274 01:22:11,136 --> 01:22:13,221 Pat it. 1275 01:22:14,264 --> 01:22:15,307 Watch out! 1276 01:22:15,390 --> 01:22:17,434 All right, here's the bus. Pay attention. 1277 01:22:17,517 --> 01:22:19,644 My relationship with Will -. 1278 01:22:22,230 --> 01:22:24,524 There's really not a relationship. 1279 01:22:34,284 --> 01:22:37,120 There is no more me and Will. 1280 01:22:37,203 --> 01:22:38,747 It's never gonna work. 1281 01:22:40,123 --> 01:22:42,959 He left, and he hasn't came back. 1282 01:22:47,172 --> 01:22:50,091 The kids were hurt that he left. 1283 01:22:50,175 --> 01:22:52,177 He just broke all his promises. 1284 01:22:54,012 --> 01:22:56,973 You've got to move, Beans, 'cause I'm trying to pick this up. 1285 01:22:58,475 --> 01:23:00,435 It's not for you to lay on. 1286 01:23:02,145 --> 01:23:03,897 What is love? 1287 01:23:05,732 --> 01:23:07,484 What does love do? 1288 01:23:11,529 --> 01:23:12,906 I don't know. 1289 01:23:16,910 --> 01:23:18,536 Ranaja. 1290 01:23:21,039 --> 01:23:23,708 Ranaja, I love you very much. 1291 01:23:26,753 --> 01:23:29,589 You are sweet and beautiful. 1292 01:23:32,926 --> 01:23:35,095 I hope you get better. 1293 01:23:36,346 --> 01:23:40,558 Ranaja, you're not gonna hurt anymore. 1294 01:23:43,019 --> 01:23:44,437 Hi, Nay-Nay. 1295 01:23:45,647 --> 01:23:47,232 Hey, Nay-Nay. 1296 01:23:51,319 --> 01:23:52,779 Naja? 1297 01:23:53,905 --> 01:23:56,157 You go to sleep on me? 1298 01:23:58,076 --> 01:24:02,372 I don't know why Ranaja got into using drugs a year ago. 1299 01:24:02,455 --> 01:24:05,667 She never really told me why. 1300 01:24:05,750 --> 01:24:09,003 She even started smoking meth and heroin. 1301 01:24:09,087 --> 01:24:10,880 She's tired. 1302 01:24:12,340 --> 01:24:15,427 When they found her, she had no pulse, 1303 01:24:15,510 --> 01:24:20,348 and they had to resuscitate her before the ambulance got there. 1304 01:24:21,099 --> 01:24:23,268 She was fighting for her life. 1305 01:24:26,688 --> 01:24:29,441 We don't know why she did it. 1306 01:24:29,524 --> 01:24:31,109 We may never know. 1307 01:24:34,487 --> 01:24:36,072 Ranaja. 1308 01:24:37,365 --> 01:24:39,409 Get very, very better... 1309 01:24:40,869 --> 01:24:43,329 and you can have a better life. 1310 01:24:44,873 --> 01:24:47,167 KIRO news time, 5:53. 1311 01:24:47,250 --> 01:24:49,586 Puppas! Puppas! 1312 01:24:49,669 --> 01:24:53,006 It really hasn't been as bad as it might have been. 1313 01:24:53,089 --> 01:24:56,134 Puppas! 1314 01:25:05,393 --> 01:25:07,979 Gives me chills. 1315 01:25:08,062 --> 01:25:10,106 - It's not too cold, is it? - No. 1316 01:25:10,190 --> 01:25:11,566 Okay. 1317 01:25:12,567 --> 01:25:14,861 It's been a long time since we've seen each other. 1318 01:25:14,944 --> 01:25:18,114 Yeah. I just saw your mom just a few weeks ago. 1319 01:25:19,199 --> 01:25:21,826 Did you hear she was in the treatment center in Olalla? 1320 01:25:21,910 --> 01:25:25,038 Yeah. I talked to your grandma to get your number. 1321 01:25:30,460 --> 01:25:32,921 I want to be really rich... 1322 01:25:33,922 --> 01:25:37,592 and live on a farm with a bunch of horses, 1323 01:25:37,675 --> 01:25:40,345 which is my main best animal, 1324 01:25:40,428 --> 01:25:43,223 and have three yachts or more 1325 01:25:43,306 --> 01:25:47,811 and diamonds and jewels and all that stuff. 1326 01:25:54,150 --> 01:25:56,486 I want to be somebody in the future. 102881

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