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1
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You were in love with him.
2
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It was love.
3
00:00:38,665 --> 00:00:41,918
Wasn't love, Mary Ellen.
I liked him.
4
00:00:45,088 --> 00:00:46,631
It was love.
5
00:00:46,715 --> 00:00:49,884
No, it wasn't love.
I didn't know what love was.
6
00:00:49,968 --> 00:00:52,387
You were crazy about him. Admit it.
7
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I was. I liked him.
8
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More than that.
9
00:00:55,849 --> 00:00:58,476
No, it wasn't,
because I didn't know what love was.
10
00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:00,979
How could I know what love was? I was 14.
11
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A kid that don't know nothing.
12
00:01:06,985 --> 00:01:08,486
Was he good in bed?
13
00:01:08,570 --> 00:01:10,864
I refuse to answer that, Mary Ellen.
14
00:01:10,947 --> 00:01:12,657
Nosy-ass.
15
00:01:12,741 --> 00:01:15,744
- Do you know this camera's not on?
- Oh, it is.
16
00:01:15,827 --> 00:01:18,079
No, it is. How do you know it's not on?
17
00:01:18,163 --> 00:01:20,373
'Cause there's no light there.
18
00:01:20,457 --> 00:01:22,417
Look at this picture here.
19
00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:24,836
Isn't it great? You still chew bubble gum?
20
00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:27,380
- No.
- Do your kids?
21
00:01:27,464 --> 00:01:31,468
Yes. E'Mari loves gum.
He'd rather have gum than candy.
22
00:01:31,551 --> 00:01:33,094
That's odd.
23
00:01:33,928 --> 00:01:37,348
Everyone loves that picture.
Why do you think they love it?
24
00:01:37,432 --> 00:01:38,725
I don't know.
25
00:01:38,808 --> 00:01:41,227
What do you think
it symbolizes to people?
26
00:01:41,311 --> 00:01:42,395
I don't know.
27
00:01:42,479 --> 00:01:44,439
Young girl, beautiful.
28
00:01:47,066 --> 00:01:48,359
Skinny.
29
00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:51,237
Skinny.
30
00:01:55,742 --> 00:01:58,995
That hat -
That hat got passed around a lot.
31
00:01:59,078 --> 00:02:01,915
Martin has that on film.
Everyone wanted to wear that hat.
32
00:02:01,998 --> 00:02:03,708
- Really?
- Yeah.
33
00:02:07,128 --> 00:02:09,547
That was a cool hat. I liked it.
34
00:02:13,092 --> 00:02:15,678
I remember you got the dress
in a secondhand shop,
35
00:02:15,762 --> 00:02:18,223
but the hat, I don't remember
where that came from.
36
00:02:18,306 --> 00:02:21,768
- Right there on Pike Street.
- It was on Pike Street, uh-huh.
37
00:02:21,851 --> 00:02:23,645
At the market.
38
00:02:28,817 --> 00:02:31,611
- Did you get into fights too?
- Mm-mmm.
39
00:02:33,279 --> 00:02:34,405
No.
40
00:02:34,489 --> 00:02:37,450
Boy, I would have hated
to have been hit by Patty.
41
00:02:37,534 --> 00:02:39,577
She had a punch, right?
42
00:02:39,661 --> 00:02:41,454
- I don't know.
- Did she ever hit you?
43
00:02:41,538 --> 00:02:42,539
No.
44
00:02:44,999 --> 00:02:47,544
And that girl was bigger than she was.
45
00:02:48,628 --> 00:02:50,213
She didn't care.
46
00:02:51,130 --> 00:02:53,508
- Does that make you sad?
- A little.
47
00:02:53,591 --> 00:02:55,218
Little Dewayne hung hisself.
48
00:02:55,301 --> 00:02:57,846
What do you remember of Dewayne?
49
00:02:59,305 --> 00:03:02,851
Oh, he just liked to be
with the girls and...
50
00:03:05,103 --> 00:03:06,437
was happy.
51
00:03:10,316 --> 00:03:14,404
- So how old were you here?
- I was fourth, fifth or sixth grade.
52
00:03:14,487 --> 00:03:16,197
- And here?
- Fourteen.
53
00:03:16,281 --> 00:03:18,116
Is that when you first came out
on the street?
54
00:03:18,199 --> 00:03:20,034
No, I came out when I was 13.
55
00:03:20,118 --> 00:03:23,705
So you had already been
out a year. So you were tough already.
56
00:03:23,788 --> 00:03:25,456
- I wasn't tough.
- No?
57
00:03:25,540 --> 00:03:27,041
- No.
- What were you?
58
00:03:27,125 --> 00:03:31,170
I was just, uh -
I was a scaredy-cat.
59
00:03:31,254 --> 00:03:35,550
I hated confrontations. I hated arguments.
I did not like to fight.
60
00:03:35,633 --> 00:03:37,719
- Who's that?
- Lou Lou.
61
00:03:37,802 --> 00:03:41,014
- Tell me about Lou Lou.
- Lou Lou was a tough one.
62
00:03:42,265 --> 00:03:46,686
- Was she tougher than you?
- Oh, yes. By far.
63
00:03:46,769 --> 00:03:48,271
- Did she like you?
- Yeah.
64
00:03:48,354 --> 00:03:49,522
Did she love you?
65
00:03:49,606 --> 00:03:51,858
She always used to get after me
about doing something.
66
00:03:51,941 --> 00:03:53,818
- She was great, wasn't she?
- Yeah, she was.
67
00:03:53,902 --> 00:03:55,695
Special.
A leader on the street.
68
00:03:55,778 --> 00:03:57,322
Miss her?
69
00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:59,157
- I do.
- Think about her?
70
00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,910
All the time. Shadow.
71
00:04:01,993 --> 00:04:03,828
What do you remember
about Shadow?
72
00:04:03,912 --> 00:04:06,748
Tried to be a pimp.
Wasn't for him. Sorry.
73
00:04:06,831 --> 00:04:10,376
- Why?
- Look at him. He is not pimp style.
74
00:04:10,460 --> 00:04:12,045
What's "pimp style"?
75
00:04:12,128 --> 00:04:18,176
Back then, it was Black men with
these long Jheri curls, nice suits on,
76
00:04:18,259 --> 00:04:20,553
fur coats, jewelry,
77
00:04:20,637 --> 00:04:23,431
riding in these big old Cadillacs.
78
00:04:23,514 --> 00:04:24,849
What Shadow doin'?
79
00:04:31,189 --> 00:04:34,233
You look like
you really love your mom there.
80
00:04:35,151 --> 00:04:38,321
I mean, I do love my mom,
but we just don't have a...
81
00:04:40,406 --> 00:04:42,575
A really close relationship.
82
00:04:44,118 --> 00:04:46,579
Do you think you missed that a lot
as a kid?
83
00:04:48,206 --> 00:04:51,125
I don't really know
how it would have been with my mom,
84
00:04:51,209 --> 00:04:54,963
'cause I never really had it,
so I can't really say I miss it.
85
00:04:57,215 --> 00:04:58,800
That was in front of -.
86
00:04:58,883 --> 00:05:02,303
Oh, my God. I do not remember
the name of the restaurant.
87
00:05:02,387 --> 00:05:05,682
Coffee Hut. How old do I look there?
88
00:05:05,765 --> 00:05:08,142
- Thirteen.
- Do I?
89
00:05:08,226 --> 00:05:09,894
How old was Pat?
90
00:05:09,978 --> 00:05:13,856
My mom... I was 14, she was 35.
91
00:05:13,940 --> 00:05:16,484
- Did you love her then?
- Well, yeah, I did.
92
00:05:16,567 --> 00:05:21,364
I still love my mom, but it's just not
a close bond or anything.
93
00:05:23,574 --> 00:05:26,661
Pinky and Dora called me Tiny
94
00:05:26,744 --> 00:05:29,747
'cause I was exceptionally small.
95
00:05:29,831 --> 00:05:32,417
- Very tiny.
- You don't know jack shit.
96
00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:34,836
- That's where I got my name.
- Bullshit.
97
00:05:38,006 --> 00:05:40,550
I often wonder
whatever happened to them.
98
00:05:40,633 --> 00:05:43,636
I'd like to see them again.
99
00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:46,055
That's the first night I met you.
100
00:05:47,890 --> 00:05:50,143
You arrived at the Monastery.
101
00:05:50,226 --> 00:05:52,895
I don't remember
that shirt I had on.
102
00:05:52,979 --> 00:05:55,356
Are you serious? That was the first night?
103
00:05:56,482 --> 00:05:59,569
- The first night that I talked to you?
- Yeah.
104
00:05:59,652 --> 00:06:01,904
It was 1983.
105
00:06:01,988 --> 00:06:04,741
This was the first photograph
I took of Tiny,
106
00:06:04,824 --> 00:06:07,869
taken in the parking lot
of the Monastery nightclub.
107
00:06:10,121 --> 00:06:12,582
In that first brief encounter,
108
00:06:12,665 --> 00:06:15,793
I knew Tiny was going to be
the star of my story.
109
00:06:17,462 --> 00:06:21,674
That chance meeting
changed all of our lives.
110
00:06:21,758 --> 00:06:23,259
J'Lisa...
111
00:06:24,218 --> 00:06:28,264
Diamond Hermina Brianne Charles,
get over here!
112
00:06:31,476 --> 00:06:34,687
- Come here!
- I found a seashell.
113
00:06:34,771 --> 00:06:35,980
JuJu!
114
00:06:36,814 --> 00:06:39,317
JuJu Bee! Julian!
115
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:40,777
Yeah?
116
00:06:40,860 --> 00:06:44,697
This looks like it was just opened
not too long ago.
117
00:06:44,781 --> 00:06:47,867
- There's more shells down here, J'Lisa.
- Somebody killed it.
118
00:06:47,950 --> 00:06:49,660
The birds.
119
00:06:49,744 --> 00:06:51,496
Are you listening to this?
120
00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:54,290
I don't know why I wanted ten kids.
121
00:06:54,373 --> 00:06:56,334
I don't know why I picked that number.
122
00:06:56,417 --> 00:06:58,753
- Wow.
- Put it in here.
123
00:06:58,836 --> 00:07:02,298
- You better not pick it up.
- Here, you want this one?
124
00:07:02,381 --> 00:07:04,592
- It's still alive.
- Wow.
125
00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:06,094
I feel it moving.
126
00:07:07,512 --> 00:07:09,430
Oh, don't scare me!
127
00:07:09,514 --> 00:07:11,516
Am I allowed to go by the water?
128
00:07:14,977 --> 00:07:18,397
Ouch! Something spit at me.
129
00:07:18,481 --> 00:07:20,983
It's a clam, I think.
130
00:07:21,067 --> 00:07:23,694
Oh, it's stinging my eyes.
131
00:07:23,778 --> 00:07:25,780
Ew. See, here's one of these worms.
132
00:07:25,863 --> 00:07:27,782
Always wanted five boys,
five girls.
133
00:07:27,865 --> 00:07:32,120
Weird. Did you guys look
under any of these rocks for crabs?
134
00:07:32,203 --> 00:07:34,872
And I got five boys and five girls.
135
00:07:34,956 --> 00:07:37,834
Do you want these shells? Ranaja?
136
00:07:37,917 --> 00:07:41,629
- I have six children that live with me...
- And these mussels?
137
00:07:41,712 --> 00:07:45,341
- ...but I have ten kids.
- That's the creature. People eat these.
138
00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:47,301
- Like, where?
- In the restaurants.
139
00:07:47,385 --> 00:07:49,887
- What kind of restaurants?
- Seafood restaurants, honey.
140
00:07:49,971 --> 00:07:51,556
- Are you gonna eat it?
- Fuck no.
141
00:07:51,639 --> 00:07:53,599
It has to be cleaned and everything.
It's poison.
142
00:07:53,683 --> 00:07:55,685
- One spit right over there.
- Where?
143
00:07:55,768 --> 00:07:57,311
Ah! Right here.
144
00:07:57,395 --> 00:08:00,898
It dug itself right down into the dirt.
That sucker got away.
145
00:08:00,982 --> 00:08:03,734
I can't believe that I am 44.
146
00:08:03,818 --> 00:08:06,737
Isn't that cool, the house on the beach,
the one with those big windows?
147
00:08:06,821 --> 00:08:08,197
Yeah, I want that house.
148
00:08:08,281 --> 00:08:13,286
I look at this as my halfway point
to the end of my life.
149
00:08:13,369 --> 00:08:15,746
Come on. I think we got enough.
150
00:08:15,830 --> 00:08:17,540
I'm getting hungry.
151
00:08:17,623 --> 00:08:21,502
J'Lisa! You go in that water again,
and we'll leave.
152
00:08:21,586 --> 00:08:23,254
- J'Lisa, are you listening?
- Yes.
153
00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:26,007
I'm done. I got sprayed.
154
00:08:26,090 --> 00:08:28,551
I'm gonna smell like seafood.
155
00:08:28,634 --> 00:08:30,887
Mom, what are we gonna do
with the crabs?
156
00:08:30,970 --> 00:08:33,097
We can't take the crabs.
157
00:08:33,181 --> 00:08:37,059
- We have to leave them?
- Yes, you have to leave the crabs.
158
00:08:37,143 --> 00:08:39,145
The clams, we are taking.
159
00:08:39,228 --> 00:08:40,688
- Look.
- Is it dead?
160
00:08:40,771 --> 00:08:42,732
- No, it's alive.
- Oh!
161
00:08:42,815 --> 00:08:44,358
Was that the crab?
162
00:08:44,442 --> 00:08:46,903
- Oh, shoot!
- It scared me!
163
00:09:02,001 --> 00:09:03,544
Beans, stop it!
164
00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:07,506
He's being annoying.
165
00:09:08,674 --> 00:09:12,220
My mom was very,
very pretty when she was young.
166
00:09:17,141 --> 00:09:19,227
I still think she's pretty now.
167
00:09:31,072 --> 00:09:32,865
Beanie boy!
168
00:09:34,325 --> 00:09:39,497
Even though she has brown eyes,
I just love how they shine all the time.
169
00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:41,540
You better not pee in my bed.
170
00:09:45,836 --> 00:09:47,380
Sleep well, puppy.
171
00:09:54,095 --> 00:09:56,389
I think my mom's beautiful.
172
00:09:58,307 --> 00:10:01,936
Hey, boys. Hey, little boys.
173
00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:04,647
How are you doing, big boy?
174
00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:06,357
Hey, little girl.
175
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,276
How you doin'?
176
00:10:12,405 --> 00:10:13,948
Stay back.
177
00:10:20,329 --> 00:10:22,748
I regret being so young,
having kids.
178
00:10:26,752 --> 00:10:30,047
I really wish I would've just did
my whole life different.
179
00:10:30,131 --> 00:10:33,050
Hi, big boy. Hi!
180
00:10:33,134 --> 00:10:36,595
Hi, - Hey! You're not going up here!
Not - Hey.
181
00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:39,181
But then I also think
if I would have did it different,
182
00:10:39,265 --> 00:10:41,225
I wouldn't have the kids that I have now.
183
00:10:41,309 --> 00:10:42,560
Big boy, you're slow!
184
00:11:03,039 --> 00:11:04,999
Ring-ring, ring-ring.
185
00:11:06,125 --> 00:11:08,127
Ring-ring, ring-ring.
186
00:11:08,210 --> 00:11:11,297
I learned to become a prostitute
187
00:11:11,380 --> 00:11:15,509
seeing everybody else doing it,
making all that money in downtown.
188
00:11:15,593 --> 00:11:17,678
My mom was mad. But what could she do?
189
00:11:17,762 --> 00:11:19,638
- Are you cleaning?
- Yeah, I am.
190
00:11:19,722 --> 00:11:23,642
I looked at it like this:
I was 13, still a baby.
191
00:11:23,726 --> 00:11:25,770
Guys liked that.
192
00:11:25,853 --> 00:11:28,022
That's why I got paid so much money.
193
00:11:28,105 --> 00:11:30,191
My house is clean!
194
00:11:30,274 --> 00:11:32,651
We were living so poor,
I couldn't stand it.
195
00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:35,363
Nine, ten, 11, 12,
196
00:11:35,446 --> 00:11:38,532
13, 14, 15, 16,
197
00:11:38,616 --> 00:11:41,702
17, 18, 19, 20.
198
00:11:41,786 --> 00:11:43,621
Ready or not, here I come!
199
00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:50,419
Tony Cox.
He was the reason why I came downtown.
200
00:12:04,392 --> 00:12:06,894
I remember the first day I came.
201
00:12:06,977 --> 00:12:09,939
I rolled on downtown with my skates.
202
00:12:10,022 --> 00:12:12,817
I just took everything, and I took my cat.
203
00:12:24,078 --> 00:12:25,913
Puppy, out.
204
00:12:25,996 --> 00:12:27,790
Kids and puppies.
205
00:12:27,873 --> 00:12:30,793
Mom, can I go out and practice?
206
00:12:30,876 --> 00:12:34,213
Um, I guess so. Yeah, if you want to.
207
00:12:36,257 --> 00:12:39,093
My mom has been good
the past few days.
208
00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:40,886
Just a little stressed out...
209
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,222
Ranaja?
210
00:12:43,305 --> 00:12:46,475
...because we're not helping her
as much as we should be...
211
00:12:46,559 --> 00:12:48,352
Ranaja?
212
00:12:48,436 --> 00:12:52,565
...'cause her feet are swollen,
and we should help her more.
213
00:12:52,648 --> 00:12:55,109
I don't care. What's in here?
214
00:12:56,694 --> 00:12:59,280
I do worry about my mom's addiction.
215
00:13:00,281 --> 00:13:03,200
Are you doing it?
Yeah, throw it in there.
216
00:13:03,284 --> 00:13:06,287
My mom thinks it's the reason
why her feet are swollen up.
217
00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:08,622
I'm sorry.
218
00:13:11,292 --> 00:13:14,003
I don't want my mom addicted
to methadone forever.
219
00:13:14,086 --> 00:13:16,297
...bra over here, please?
220
00:13:16,380 --> 00:13:18,799
If it's helping her, it's helping her.
221
00:13:21,427 --> 00:13:23,762
My name is William Charles Jr.
222
00:13:23,846 --> 00:13:26,932
I'm the husband of Erin Blackwell.
223
00:13:27,016 --> 00:13:29,810
I've known Erin since 1997.
224
00:13:29,894 --> 00:13:32,062
We now have been married
going on five years.
225
00:13:32,146 --> 00:13:34,565
I met Will on a chat line.
226
00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:39,153
He came to my door.
I was shocked to actually believe
227
00:13:39,236 --> 00:13:42,531
that was the other person on the end
of the phone line I was talking to.
228
00:13:42,615 --> 00:13:45,367
- E'Mari?
- I liked the way Will looked.
229
00:13:46,410 --> 00:13:48,954
And I was - I was just kind of shocked
230
00:13:49,038 --> 00:13:52,917
that it was someone actually
that I liked looking at
231
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,793
and that I could see myself with.
232
00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:58,547
First time I met her face to face,
it was, um -.
233
00:13:58,631 --> 00:14:00,424
She was cute. She was shy.
234
00:14:00,508 --> 00:14:04,512
Rayshon, which is seven years old now,
he was three months old at the time,
235
00:14:04,595 --> 00:14:06,972
and, uh, she didn't have much,
236
00:14:07,056 --> 00:14:09,683
but the little bit she did have,
she shared.
237
00:14:09,767 --> 00:14:11,393
She was coming off of narcotics.
238
00:14:11,477 --> 00:14:14,188
She'd just had Rayshon,
and she was confused.
239
00:14:15,564 --> 00:14:20,194
And, uh, I knew these things
'cause I've been out there.
240
00:14:20,277 --> 00:14:23,572
I've been around.
I've seen things and done things, so...
241
00:14:24,782 --> 00:14:27,034
I just didn't want to turn my back to her.
242
00:14:27,117 --> 00:14:30,371
Just something about her that, um -
That I love.
243
00:14:32,915 --> 00:14:35,084
I should not have did that.
244
00:14:35,167 --> 00:14:38,712
Pregnant at 15
and having kids starting at 16.
245
00:14:41,632 --> 00:14:44,927
All through these years,
drinking and drugging and -.
246
00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:48,013
I just took day by day.
247
00:14:50,849 --> 00:14:52,184
It wasn't right.
248
00:14:54,937 --> 00:14:57,606
When we get into arguments,
249
00:14:57,690 --> 00:15:02,111
they can be over something, to me,
something stupid,
250
00:15:02,194 --> 00:15:05,197
but Erin is very stubborn,
and she's stern.
251
00:15:07,449 --> 00:15:09,577
You have to be around her.
252
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:12,371
There are some challenging days.
253
00:15:12,454 --> 00:15:15,291
There are some challenging days.
254
00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:19,003
If Erin and I hadn't met,
255
00:15:19,086 --> 00:15:21,630
she would have continued doing
what she was doing.
256
00:15:22,298 --> 00:15:24,550
Out on the streets doing wrong.
257
00:15:27,886 --> 00:15:30,889
If she don't be dead,
she'd have been close to it.
258
00:15:31,724 --> 00:15:34,435
'Cause Erin tried to commit suicide twice.
259
00:15:43,027 --> 00:15:45,779
You have to accept people
for who they are.
260
00:15:47,448 --> 00:15:49,074
I accept Erin.
261
00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:51,660
I accept Erin to the fullest.
262
00:15:51,744 --> 00:15:53,704
- If it wasn't for Will...
- Brush your teeth too.
263
00:15:53,746 --> 00:15:55,289
...I wouldn't be here.
264
00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:57,207
Sit up there so I can put your shoes on.
265
00:15:57,291 --> 00:16:00,753
- I'd be out doing what I used to do.
- Mama, I had a bad dream.
266
00:16:00,836 --> 00:16:03,130
And I look at Will
as my higher power.
267
00:16:08,218 --> 00:16:09,261
Stop.
268
00:16:12,598 --> 00:16:15,559
Hold on. I'll be right back.
Leave your foot right there.
269
00:16:15,643 --> 00:16:18,771
Do not do nothing.
Do not put it on the floor.
270
00:16:18,854 --> 00:16:22,149
I don't really know if I've ever
been in love with a man,
271
00:16:22,983 --> 00:16:25,361
'cause I really didn't know how to love.
272
00:16:27,446 --> 00:16:29,281
I think Will is gonna leave.
273
00:16:30,074 --> 00:16:32,576
Maybe next weekend.
Maybe the weekend after.
274
00:16:32,660 --> 00:16:34,203
- Thank you, Dad.
- You're welcome.
275
00:16:34,286 --> 00:16:36,080
Erin was so honest with me.
276
00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:39,416
She told me every single thing about her.
277
00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:44,963
She did not hold nothing back.
278
00:16:45,047 --> 00:16:49,134
She told me - She said,
"You've got a chance to leave now."
279
00:16:52,221 --> 00:16:54,765
She didn't trap me with five children.
280
00:16:55,599 --> 00:16:57,685
She never abused any of the children.
281
00:16:57,768 --> 00:17:02,314
She wanted them to have a father around,
good education.
282
00:17:02,398 --> 00:17:04,066
Something that she didn't have.
283
00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:08,278
That's what we're fighting hard
every day to do.
284
00:17:08,362 --> 00:17:10,531
- Yep.
- Yep, what?
285
00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:16,870
Y'all want things, you gotta show me
some appreciation. Come on. Let's go.
286
00:17:16,954 --> 00:17:20,082
I'm not giving you nothing else
until I see some sort of improvement.
287
00:17:20,165 --> 00:17:22,418
Whose shoes are these?
Ranaja, are these your shoes?
288
00:17:22,501 --> 00:17:23,711
Where? No.
289
00:17:23,794 --> 00:17:25,838
Is that clean or dirty?
290
00:17:25,921 --> 00:17:28,465
Rayshon have a father.
291
00:17:28,549 --> 00:17:30,759
He came to me. He said,
292
00:17:30,843 --> 00:17:33,011
"I'm too young to be a father.
293
00:17:34,304 --> 00:17:36,890
Could you take care of Rayshon for me?"
294
00:17:39,393 --> 00:17:41,854
I said,
"Well, let me tell you something, man.
295
00:17:41,937 --> 00:17:44,940
You didn't wear the condom.
She got pregnant. She had a baby.
296
00:17:45,023 --> 00:17:47,276
You're the father. There's proof.
297
00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:49,903
You gotta do something about it.
298
00:17:49,987 --> 00:17:52,573
I'm not gonna be your scapegoat."
299
00:17:52,656 --> 00:17:54,408
And he disappeared.
300
00:17:54,491 --> 00:17:57,244
My real daddy's name is...
301
00:18:01,999 --> 00:18:04,126
I can't remember his name.
302
00:18:11,008 --> 00:18:12,843
He just loved his mommy.
303
00:18:13,719 --> 00:18:15,554
He's very affectionate.
304
00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:22,936
He must miss you now.
305
00:18:23,020 --> 00:18:24,605
Oh, yeah, I'm sure.
306
00:18:26,148 --> 00:18:30,652
I'm sure he has a lot of regrets
for not listening,
307
00:18:31,570 --> 00:18:33,906
'cause they end up paying the price.
308
00:18:33,989 --> 00:18:35,949
Rayshon -
If he don't watch hisself,
309
00:18:36,033 --> 00:18:37,785
he's gonna end up in the penitentiary.
310
00:18:37,868 --> 00:18:40,329
- These streets are no joke.
- Hey, J'Lisa.
311
00:18:40,412 --> 00:18:44,583
- How are you doing?
- You are a target every day.
312
00:18:44,666 --> 00:18:47,795
And if it's not the penitentiary,
it's gonna be death.
313
00:18:47,878 --> 00:18:50,297
That's what I been trying to tell Rayshon.
314
00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:53,383
"Son, stay out of trouble.
315
00:18:53,467 --> 00:18:55,594
Don't get caught in this system.
316
00:18:57,095 --> 00:18:59,181
Prisons are nothing but slavery."
317
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:03,435
He don't get it.
318
00:19:06,438 --> 00:19:08,607
Daylon wasn't a mama's boy.
319
00:19:09,858 --> 00:19:13,195
Daylon was in his own world.
320
00:19:13,278 --> 00:19:16,615
Stayed distant. I didn't raise him.
321
00:19:16,698 --> 00:19:20,494
He was bounced around
from foster home to foster home.
322
00:19:20,577 --> 00:19:23,330
Do you remember
when I took that picture?
323
00:19:23,413 --> 00:19:24,790
How old were you?
324
00:19:24,873 --> 00:19:26,458
I was 16.
325
00:19:27,501 --> 00:19:30,212
Now that I look back,
I really wasn't ready.
326
00:19:34,258 --> 00:19:37,344
Hmm. This is me in labor with Daylon.
327
00:19:40,556 --> 00:19:42,683
Daylon when he was born.
328
00:19:45,310 --> 00:19:47,104
This was my child.
329
00:19:48,105 --> 00:19:51,275
I get to raise this baby
and teach him everything.
330
00:19:52,568 --> 00:19:54,152
It didn't work out like that.
331
00:19:55,237 --> 00:19:57,531
Do I like being a babysitter?
332
00:19:57,614 --> 00:19:59,783
Sometimes yeah, sometimes no.
333
00:19:59,867 --> 00:20:02,995
I like to do stuff myself, you know.
334
00:20:03,078 --> 00:20:05,622
I'm pretty young,
so I like to get out and have fun too,
335
00:20:05,706 --> 00:20:08,083
while I'm still here, you know?
336
00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:10,836
But sometimes it makes me feel bad,
337
00:20:10,919 --> 00:20:12,880
and sometimes it don't bother me
338
00:20:12,963 --> 00:20:15,841
because I don't feel like
I should be cooped up all the time.
339
00:20:15,924 --> 00:20:19,011
I'm not married. I don't got kids.
You know what I mean?
340
00:20:21,388 --> 00:20:24,766
And, you know, here's more to life
than just sitting in a house.
341
00:20:24,850 --> 00:20:26,685
You know what I mean?
342
00:20:26,768 --> 00:20:30,647
When I sit in the house, I feel
you can always do jail in your head.
343
00:20:30,731 --> 00:20:33,317
I feel like I can't do certain stuff,
you know?
344
00:20:35,903 --> 00:20:38,614
I do love looking after
my brother's baby.
345
00:20:40,115 --> 00:20:44,369
My brother Daylon,
he has gotten a little "oopsie."
346
00:20:44,453 --> 00:20:45,746
A little weird.
347
00:20:50,626 --> 00:20:52,920
I think it has to do with his addiction.
348
00:21:01,845 --> 00:21:04,431
He does love his baby a lot.
349
00:21:05,098 --> 00:21:08,810
He's there for his baby, takes care
of his baby like he's supposed to.
350
00:21:15,734 --> 00:21:17,736
He gives it hugs and kisses.
351
00:21:21,406 --> 00:21:22,783
A lot of love.
352
00:21:36,505 --> 00:21:38,131
KWIQ 98.9.
353
00:21:38,215 --> 00:21:40,676
Here's what's coming up
in the next 20 minutes.
354
00:21:42,177 --> 00:21:44,513
I feel really horrible for Daylon
355
00:21:44,596 --> 00:21:48,308
'cause he too is doing something
that I have done.
356
00:21:55,774 --> 00:21:58,777
They've seen me go
through those hard times.
357
00:21:58,860 --> 00:22:01,405
They didn't like
what they went through with me.
358
00:22:04,282 --> 00:22:08,412
I woulda swore they would have never
done anything that I've ever done.
359
00:22:15,669 --> 00:22:17,546
I smoke heroin.
360
00:22:25,470 --> 00:22:29,725
I try to get it early in the morning
so the rest of my day is fine.
361
00:22:36,231 --> 00:22:39,818
I really just smoke to get normal,
to feel like how I feel right now.
362
00:22:39,901 --> 00:22:41,611
I feel fine. I feel normal.
363
00:23:00,714 --> 00:23:02,591
To smoke every day...
364
00:23:04,176 --> 00:23:07,012
...it's nothing I would suggest
to anybody, but, I mean,
365
00:23:07,095 --> 00:23:10,057
it helps through stressful situations.
366
00:23:16,271 --> 00:23:18,690
I just need to smoke once, and I'm fine.
367
00:23:18,774 --> 00:23:22,652
I could smoke more,
but smoking once is good for me.
368
00:23:29,951 --> 00:23:32,537
You can get a good point
for about ten bucks.
369
00:23:32,621 --> 00:23:34,498
That does justice.
370
00:23:37,667 --> 00:23:41,296
If you add it up,
every day that's $70 a week.
371
00:23:42,380 --> 00:23:45,842
That's, what, $240 a month?
372
00:23:45,926 --> 00:23:49,012
Times 240 by 12 - That's a lot of money.
373
00:23:50,847 --> 00:23:52,974
My girlfriend doesn't approve of it.
374
00:23:55,644 --> 00:23:57,562
Erin doesn't like it either.
375
00:23:58,688 --> 00:24:03,652
Erin suggests that there's other things
I should do besides narcotics,
376
00:24:03,735 --> 00:24:07,614
but I guess it's a prerogative of mine.
377
00:24:23,672 --> 00:24:25,549
They're crazy!
378
00:24:26,842 --> 00:24:29,302
Okay, girl,
you shouldn't have had that baby,
379
00:24:29,386 --> 00:24:32,055
'cause your babies are really creepy.
380
00:24:34,057 --> 00:24:36,518
Okay.
381
00:24:36,601 --> 00:24:38,395
I just remember being a kid.
382
00:24:38,478 --> 00:24:42,357
Got to pretty much do go do
what I wanted to do at four years old.
383
00:24:43,358 --> 00:24:46,069
Walk down to the corner store
and get candy.
384
00:24:50,949 --> 00:24:53,118
We didn't have much toys growing up.
385
00:24:53,201 --> 00:24:57,455
Barbies and a doll house. Slinky.
386
00:24:57,539 --> 00:25:01,126
What are you doing?
387
00:25:01,209 --> 00:25:03,587
- I want a dolly!
- No. They're $29.
388
00:25:03,670 --> 00:25:07,424
E'Mari was about as big as that
baby when he was born. Maybe bigger.
389
00:25:07,507 --> 00:25:10,010
I swear to God.
390
00:25:10,093 --> 00:25:11,928
He was a humongous baby.
391
00:25:12,846 --> 00:25:15,307
I'm buying this. Almost $20.
392
00:25:16,516 --> 00:25:18,494
- I want to play with that here.
- Are you kidding?
393
00:25:18,518 --> 00:25:20,645
- No, I'm serious!
- Are you lying?
394
00:25:20,729 --> 00:25:23,607
- No, I'm serious.
- But this is for kids.
395
00:25:23,690 --> 00:25:26,359
So? I can play with you guys.
396
00:26:41,268 --> 00:26:43,937
My mom took me
to a horse ranch once.
397
00:26:46,564 --> 00:26:48,775
My favorite horse was Dance.
398
00:26:50,110 --> 00:26:51,945
I loved Dance a lot.
399
00:26:54,030 --> 00:26:56,574
I whispered it in his ear.
400
00:26:56,658 --> 00:26:58,952
I said, "I love you, Dance."
401
00:27:00,078 --> 00:27:02,664
He turned his head and gave me a hug.
402
00:27:18,221 --> 00:27:20,348
His eyeballs are so big.
403
00:27:21,766 --> 00:27:24,311
My mom loved horses when she was little.
404
00:27:36,448 --> 00:27:38,366
I've been waiting...
405
00:27:39,826 --> 00:27:42,495
till I can talk to you on the phone.
406
00:27:43,747 --> 00:27:46,541
Oh, and you had a leg itch? Aww.
407
00:27:46,624 --> 00:27:48,626
Big Boy, lay down.
408
00:27:58,803 --> 00:28:01,348
It was fun, and it was freeing.
409
00:28:09,314 --> 00:28:11,107
I'd do what I want.
410
00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:18,948
Made a lot of money.
411
00:28:25,455 --> 00:28:27,874
Got to spend it on whatever I wanted.
412
00:28:32,629 --> 00:28:34,714
It will never be like that again.
413
00:28:37,550 --> 00:28:39,928
Do you remember the guy
in the car I was talking to?
414
00:28:40,011 --> 00:28:41,137
Yeah.
415
00:28:41,221 --> 00:28:43,807
That happened to be
when I worked at Movies and More.
416
00:28:43,890 --> 00:28:46,851
There was a guy that worked there.
That was his uncle.
417
00:28:48,353 --> 00:28:51,231
I don't even know
how much money I was making.
418
00:28:55,318 --> 00:28:57,946
I have nothing to show for it now.
419
00:28:59,406 --> 00:29:02,283
I was a kid in the biggest candy store,
420
00:29:02,367 --> 00:29:04,994
spending my money
421
00:29:05,078 --> 00:29:09,082
on clothes and shoes and motels.
422
00:29:15,004 --> 00:29:16,756
There's Rayshon.
423
00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:19,467
No, no, no, no, no, ma'am. Uh-uh.
424
00:29:19,551 --> 00:29:21,094
Pick it up right now.
425
00:29:21,177 --> 00:29:23,138
Pick it up right now.
426
00:29:24,931 --> 00:29:27,934
My stepdad,
I don't like him at all,
427
00:29:28,017 --> 00:29:30,353
in any kind of way, shape or form.
428
00:29:33,356 --> 00:29:35,567
Not going to school doesn't worry me.
429
00:29:38,361 --> 00:29:41,406
If I'm not home,
I'm out with my friends having fun.
430
00:29:41,489 --> 00:29:43,658
We get high and chill.
431
00:29:46,661 --> 00:29:49,414
I've gotten in trouble with the law
plenty of times.
432
00:29:50,665 --> 00:29:53,918
Going to prison,
it does scare me a little bit.
433
00:29:54,002 --> 00:29:56,421
We gotta rehearse that. Right, dude?
434
00:29:56,504 --> 00:30:00,675
There's always that bigger, badder,
tougher guy than you are,
435
00:30:00,758 --> 00:30:03,678
and I just don't want to be
somebody's little boyfriend.
436
00:30:04,846 --> 00:30:06,764
Rayshon has a lot of enemies.
437
00:30:08,433 --> 00:30:13,104
They like to mess with him
because of his speech impediment.
438
00:30:14,856 --> 00:30:18,026
Rayshon didn't start talking
until he was six years old.
439
00:30:18,109 --> 00:30:22,405
They say the reason Rayshon barks
and acts nutty sometimes
440
00:30:22,489 --> 00:30:27,160
is 'cause I did drugs and alcohol with him
for the first four months of pregnancy.
441
00:30:31,748 --> 00:30:34,167
I'm watching a movie! Stop!
442
00:30:38,713 --> 00:30:41,799
What the hell's wrong with you?
You don't have to do that.
443
00:30:41,883 --> 00:30:44,219
You're not an animal.
You're a human being.
444
00:30:45,595 --> 00:30:47,013
You could get put away, Son.
445
00:30:47,096 --> 00:30:50,183
You're seven years old.
You don't have to do that, understand?
446
00:30:50,266 --> 00:30:52,018
- Yes.
- You're seven.
447
00:30:52,101 --> 00:30:56,272
You're not a baby. You're not crazy.
You're not retarded. You're not stupid.
448
00:30:56,356 --> 00:30:58,775
You're a very bright little boy.
Do you understand?
449
00:30:58,858 --> 00:31:00,318
- Yes.
- I don't like that.
450
00:31:00,401 --> 00:31:03,363
Mommy don't like that.
It doesn't look good.
451
00:31:03,446 --> 00:31:04,948
- Do you understand?
- Yes.
452
00:31:05,031 --> 00:31:06,741
People will give you medication for that.
453
00:31:06,824 --> 00:31:09,864
Do you want to take medicine for the rest
of your life for something you not?
454
00:31:12,413 --> 00:31:14,958
- What's your daughter's name?
- Ranaja Charles.
455
00:31:15,041 --> 00:31:17,168
Okay. Let me check with the nurse.
456
00:31:17,252 --> 00:31:18,419
Okay.
457
00:31:27,679 --> 00:31:30,723
Okay. Well, I don't know,
but I can call her down.
458
00:31:30,807 --> 00:31:31,849
Okay.
459
00:31:31,933 --> 00:31:33,726
So that you can talk to her.
460
00:31:33,810 --> 00:31:35,144
Is she up there?
461
00:31:35,228 --> 00:31:37,105
No, she's not.
462
00:31:37,188 --> 00:31:39,274
Oh. Well...
463
00:31:39,357 --> 00:31:41,150
I checked with the nurse.
464
00:31:41,234 --> 00:31:44,404
She may have health group
somewhere in one of the classrooms.
465
00:31:44,487 --> 00:31:47,407
- Oh. And who is this?
- This is Pat Jenson.
466
00:31:47,490 --> 00:31:51,077
Oh, Pat. Hey, you know, I was...
467
00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:54,831
I keep forgetting to call there,
but I did need to talk to you.
468
00:31:55,832 --> 00:31:58,668
Well, Ranaja has been
having trouble at school
469
00:31:58,751 --> 00:32:02,255
with people calling her a nigger,
470
00:32:02,338 --> 00:32:06,134
and I am totally upset about it.
471
00:32:06,217 --> 00:32:08,803
Well, we are appalled with that,
472
00:32:08,886 --> 00:32:11,639
and we have zero tolerance.
473
00:32:11,723 --> 00:32:13,641
Right.
474
00:32:13,725 --> 00:32:17,687
And she has been feeling like
she doesn't want to come to the school.
475
00:32:17,770 --> 00:32:20,773
She doesn't want to finish
the school there.
476
00:32:20,857 --> 00:32:24,527
She doesn't, uh, like the school
477
00:32:24,611 --> 00:32:28,906
because she's getting people
saying stuff like that.
478
00:32:28,990 --> 00:32:30,825
You know what I'm going to do?
479
00:32:30,908 --> 00:32:33,036
Will she be embarrassed
if I called her down
480
00:32:33,119 --> 00:32:36,414
and have her talk to the counselor?
481
00:32:36,497 --> 00:32:38,958
I don't think she'll be, um -.
482
00:32:39,042 --> 00:32:41,919
- Upset?
- Yeah. I told her I was gonna call.
483
00:32:44,130 --> 00:32:48,134
Some people don't accept
the Black people at school at all.
484
00:32:50,261 --> 00:32:53,640
That's what they go by, and that's
something I don't want to be around.
485
00:32:56,100 --> 00:32:57,977
One of the jokes that people
think is funny
486
00:32:58,061 --> 00:33:00,605
is when they say that Black people
should go wash yourself
487
00:33:00,688 --> 00:33:02,857
because our skin color looks like dirt.
488
00:33:04,484 --> 00:33:06,361
I don't believe that.
489
00:33:06,444 --> 00:33:08,988
You're so heavy.
490
00:33:09,072 --> 00:33:11,407
You're so heavy like a horse.
491
00:33:15,203 --> 00:33:16,996
You like that?
492
00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:20,792
Rayshon,
he is doing everything wrong.
493
00:33:21,417 --> 00:33:24,671
Doing drugs, smoking weed, drinking,
494
00:33:24,754 --> 00:33:28,675
not going to school, being really defiant.
495
00:33:29,801 --> 00:33:32,970
People are after him, wanna beat him up.
496
00:33:35,973 --> 00:33:39,227
Rayshon's gonna either end up dying
or into prison.
497
00:33:39,310 --> 00:33:41,604
He can get killed.
498
00:33:41,688 --> 00:33:45,066
Somebody that's not very smart,
499
00:33:45,149 --> 00:33:48,403
a dumb kid, is gonna end up killing him
500
00:33:49,195 --> 00:33:51,698
just to show off to everybody else
how hard he is.
501
00:33:51,781 --> 00:33:54,367
I already talked to my PO
about some arrangements.
502
00:33:54,450 --> 00:33:56,994
- 'Cause I'm not staying here with you.
- Rayshon.
503
00:33:57,078 --> 00:34:00,331
But he wants to come
when he's got nowhere else to be.
504
00:34:00,415 --> 00:34:02,375
I got somewhere to go, Mom.
505
00:34:09,424 --> 00:34:12,218
Just two nights ago, she told me to leave.
506
00:34:12,301 --> 00:34:14,846
I came knockin' on the door
so I could come home and stay home,
507
00:34:14,929 --> 00:34:17,932
but she wanted me to leave and not
come back, so that's what I'm doing.
508
00:34:18,015 --> 00:34:19,815
Came to get the rest of my shit
so I could go.
509
00:34:21,561 --> 00:34:24,772
Are you guys gonna fight over this game?
510
00:34:24,856 --> 00:34:26,107
No?
511
00:34:26,190 --> 00:34:28,860
Then eat some pickles. And it -.
512
00:34:30,528 --> 00:34:33,448
What was I about to say? Sorry.
513
00:34:33,531 --> 00:34:37,034
I do miss the street a little bit
and the people I knew.
514
00:34:37,118 --> 00:34:39,746
Now I have to
take care of these kids!
515
00:34:41,122 --> 00:34:42,623
A lot of memories.
516
00:34:45,126 --> 00:34:48,838
It was like a family.
Everything's changed now.
517
00:34:48,921 --> 00:34:51,466
I ain't done shit. You're a punk.
518
00:34:51,549 --> 00:34:54,260
It will never be that way again.
519
00:35:22,997 --> 00:35:26,709
I am happy that I am here.
520
00:35:26,793 --> 00:35:29,378
I'd like to see my kids do something.
521
00:35:30,546 --> 00:35:32,965
They're young enough to be a star.
522
00:36:06,874 --> 00:36:09,252
Mom, wake up.
523
00:36:09,335 --> 00:36:11,170
- Come on, wake up.
- What?
524
00:36:17,969 --> 00:36:20,179
- Can you get my medicine?
- Huh?
525
00:36:20,263 --> 00:36:22,098
Do you want me to get you a coffee too?
526
00:36:25,268 --> 00:36:28,062
I only dreamed about my mom once.
527
00:36:29,522 --> 00:36:33,442
I was with my mom
and the rest of the family.
528
00:36:33,526 --> 00:36:37,029
We went to the beach.
We were all in the ocean,
529
00:36:37,113 --> 00:36:40,700
and I went a little too far,
and I drowned.
530
00:36:41,784 --> 00:36:43,870
But she came and saved me.
531
00:36:45,204 --> 00:36:49,542
Then somehow in my dream,
I closed my eyes and opened them
532
00:36:49,625 --> 00:36:53,170
and woke up and was all wet.
533
00:36:53,254 --> 00:36:55,464
My bed was soaking wet too.
534
00:36:58,843 --> 00:37:00,136
I told my mom.
535
00:37:04,140 --> 00:37:05,516
This one?
536
00:37:09,937 --> 00:37:11,606
Right here too?
537
00:37:13,733 --> 00:37:15,192
Here you go.
538
00:37:17,486 --> 00:37:19,947
- Is that it?
- Yeah, that's it.
539
00:37:20,031 --> 00:37:23,409
I'll put it away while you -
Do you need your coffee?
540
00:37:23,492 --> 00:37:25,161
- Can you get the dog?
- Yeah.
541
00:37:26,913 --> 00:37:29,874
- Mom, can I pull out my tooth?
- No.
542
00:37:33,252 --> 00:37:34,503
I can't.
543
00:37:49,685 --> 00:37:53,314
My real father is a person I do not know.
544
00:37:53,397 --> 00:37:55,942
It has hurt me over the years,
but, you know,
545
00:37:56,025 --> 00:38:00,321
finally after my 17th birthday,
I just kind of like learned to accept it.
546
00:38:00,404 --> 00:38:03,324
Shawnie wanted to know,
and I told Shawnie,
547
00:38:03,407 --> 00:38:05,451
"That was another choice I made, Shawnie,
548
00:38:05,534 --> 00:38:09,372
because I chose to do what I wanted
to do and not listen to anybody else,
549
00:38:09,455 --> 00:38:13,292
and I was running around
and sleeping with everybody.
550
00:38:13,376 --> 00:38:16,003
You can't expect me to know
who your dad was."
551
00:38:16,087 --> 00:38:20,675
My mother, around November, you know,
552
00:38:20,758 --> 00:38:24,679
she told me some stuff.
553
00:38:24,762 --> 00:38:28,140
But I didn't get no name,
no identity or anything,
554
00:38:28,349 --> 00:38:33,896
but she told me what motel, you know -.
555
00:38:33,980 --> 00:38:36,941
And I kinda like -
Or who it might be, you know?
556
00:38:37,024 --> 00:38:39,485
She doesn't feel like
she's loved or wanted.
557
00:38:39,568 --> 00:38:41,529
And I do love my daughter.
558
00:38:41,612 --> 00:38:44,281
I mean, I did not raise them,
559
00:38:44,365 --> 00:38:49,453
so it's not like I could just be there
for her on everything.
560
00:38:52,373 --> 00:38:55,459
I could try,
but it's not ever gonna be the...
561
00:38:57,628 --> 00:38:59,714
mother-daughter relationship.
562
00:39:01,549 --> 00:39:04,301
- Is there much more?
- Yeah.
563
00:39:04,385 --> 00:39:08,806
You could probably use a little bit more.
'Cause you put this in the microwave -.
564
00:39:08,889 --> 00:39:11,267
We all share the same mother.
565
00:39:11,350 --> 00:39:14,687
- Gonna put some more water in this.
- We were all in the same uterus.
566
00:39:14,770 --> 00:39:17,356
But not - not too much.
567
00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:19,692
- Okay.
- Just for, like, two seconds.
568
00:39:21,861 --> 00:39:24,030
Can you get my coat, please?
569
00:39:24,947 --> 00:39:27,158
Does it smell like grease and stuff?
570
00:39:27,241 --> 00:39:30,369
- No, it was on the hoodie, kinda.
- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
571
00:39:30,453 --> 00:39:31,912
- It does?
- A little.
572
00:39:35,958 --> 00:39:37,960
- Here you go.
- Mm-hmm.
573
00:39:39,045 --> 00:39:41,088
Have you ever thought about
a career, Ranaja?
574
00:39:41,172 --> 00:39:42,798
Have you ever thought about a career?
575
00:39:42,882 --> 00:39:46,802
Yeah, we're gonna talk to people
and stuff. It's gonna be really cool.
576
00:39:46,886 --> 00:39:48,888
Well, what is your choice of career?
577
00:39:48,971 --> 00:39:51,474
I want to become a mortician.
I want to cut open dead people.
578
00:39:51,557 --> 00:39:53,142
Oh, God.
579
00:39:53,225 --> 00:39:55,269
And then I want to deliver babies.
580
00:39:55,352 --> 00:39:58,314
Oh, my-Jeez.
You know, you sound like Mom.
581
00:39:58,397 --> 00:40:00,149
Is it how I said it?
582
00:40:00,232 --> 00:40:02,777
No, she likes forensic science
and shit like that.
583
00:40:02,860 --> 00:40:05,571
Lookin' at dead bodies
to find out how people died.
584
00:40:05,654 --> 00:40:07,323
Yeah, that's what I want to do.
585
00:40:08,741 --> 00:40:11,994
Sometimes I think maybe
I thought she was my older sister.
586
00:40:12,078 --> 00:40:15,790
I wanted to be around her so much.
That's the reason why I called her Erin.
587
00:40:17,291 --> 00:40:19,960
She was my sister,
but I did know that she was my mom.
588
00:40:23,130 --> 00:40:26,967
When I call her Erin sometimes now,
she'll be like, "Don't call me that.
589
00:40:27,051 --> 00:40:29,804
You've been calling me that
when you were a little kid.
590
00:40:29,887 --> 00:40:32,598
When you were a baby."
591
00:40:55,788 --> 00:40:58,165
I want to do Superman!
592
00:40:58,249 --> 00:41:00,334
- Superman!
- Superman!
593
00:41:00,417 --> 00:41:01,836
Sup -.
594
00:41:11,971 --> 00:41:15,891
I did drugs when pregnant with
Keanna till I was six months pregnant.
595
00:41:15,975 --> 00:41:20,020
Went into treatment, got out,
found me a place to live.
596
00:41:20,104 --> 00:41:23,774
Keanna was probably
about seven months old.
597
00:41:23,858 --> 00:41:26,152
I go out one night
to this club called Oscar's
598
00:41:26,235 --> 00:41:30,531
and then picked up some guy, drunk.
599
00:41:30,614 --> 00:41:34,118
We go back to my house
and, you know, whatever.
600
00:41:34,201 --> 00:41:37,246
Two days later, I came back home.
601
00:41:37,329 --> 00:41:40,666
I was cleaning my house,
and I found a rock.
602
00:41:41,584 --> 00:41:43,294
Cocaine.
603
00:41:43,377 --> 00:41:45,462
And I sat there and thought about it.
604
00:41:45,546 --> 00:41:48,549
I did it, and that's what started it
all over again.
605
00:41:49,675 --> 00:41:52,386
I was drinking one night.
606
00:41:52,469 --> 00:41:56,891
Got into a fight with some of my friends,
and I passed out on the side of the road.
607
00:41:56,974 --> 00:41:59,143
The only good thing
that was out of that was,
608
00:41:59,226 --> 00:42:02,521
this guy that was with me
had Keanna in his arms.
609
00:42:02,605 --> 00:42:05,316
She could have got hit by a car, anything.
610
00:42:05,399 --> 00:42:07,985
Of course, the state took her.
611
00:42:08,068 --> 00:42:11,906
She didn't raise me.
She didn't raise Shawnie.
612
00:42:11,989 --> 00:42:14,533
She didn't raise Daylon.
613
00:42:14,617 --> 00:42:17,870
So it's almost like we're not her kids.
614
00:42:17,953 --> 00:42:21,290
Things might have been different
if we stayed with her.
615
00:42:21,373 --> 00:42:23,542
I ended up pregnant with Erin.
616
00:42:23,626 --> 00:42:26,378
I tried to lose her at first
by doing a lot of dope,
617
00:42:26,462 --> 00:42:28,547
'cause I don't believe in abortion.
618
00:42:28,631 --> 00:42:32,509
I was shooting drugs -
Crack, heroin, coke, crank.
619
00:42:32,593 --> 00:42:35,846
She just wouldn't leave,
and so I told myself
620
00:42:35,930 --> 00:42:39,058
two, three months before I have her
I will quit doing drugs,
621
00:42:39,141 --> 00:42:40,476
and that's what happened.
622
00:42:40,559 --> 00:42:45,231
My son's four and my daughter,
she's, uh, soon to be three.
623
00:42:45,314 --> 00:42:48,317
- You're gonna be a busy lady.
- I know.
624
00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:50,486
I have to go through parenting classes
and stuff.
625
00:42:50,569 --> 00:42:53,364
As part of getting them back?
626
00:42:53,447 --> 00:42:55,532
Yeah, and going through
my outpatient.
627
00:42:57,576 --> 00:43:00,329
And that's basically it.
And get my own place.
628
00:43:00,412 --> 00:43:02,498
We're gonna look at some things
that have to do with
629
00:43:02,581 --> 00:43:04,625
her development
and what she's learning to do.
630
00:43:04,708 --> 00:43:08,462
And usually kids her age will start
to get so they'll focus on something.
631
00:43:08,545 --> 00:43:10,297
See her eyes turning?
632
00:43:10,381 --> 00:43:13,259
We look at all these things
especially carefully
633
00:43:13,342 --> 00:43:16,553
with kids that have had some exposure
to drugs before they were born,
634
00:43:16,637 --> 00:43:18,097
like she did.
635
00:43:18,180 --> 00:43:21,308
Cocaine even causes things
like little strokes
636
00:43:21,392 --> 00:43:25,020
or little bleeding in the baby's brain
when it's developing,
637
00:43:25,104 --> 00:43:29,024
so that they're not able to do some things
as easily as other children do.
638
00:43:30,776 --> 00:43:33,487
I wanted to be a werewolf
when I grew up.
639
00:43:34,196 --> 00:43:35,656
I hung out on the streets.
640
00:43:35,739 --> 00:43:39,159
I was gang-banging. I was cutting classes.
641
00:43:39,243 --> 00:43:41,578
My history teacher, Ms. Weberg, said,
642
00:43:41,662 --> 00:43:45,082
"I can see something in you.
Are you into drama?"
643
00:43:45,165 --> 00:43:47,918
And I was like,
"Oh, you know, drama is everywhere."
644
00:43:48,002 --> 00:43:52,089
She told me, "No, drama's in a person,
it's not in a place."
645
00:43:52,172 --> 00:43:55,509
I decided I didn't need to be the drama.
646
00:43:56,635 --> 00:44:00,055
I stopped hanging out with people
that didn't want to see me succeed.
647
00:44:10,899 --> 00:44:13,819
I come from nothing.
648
00:44:13,902 --> 00:44:17,156
Where I come from
doesn't have to define me.
649
00:44:17,239 --> 00:44:19,158
I'm not a statistic.
650
00:44:20,117 --> 00:44:23,162
I see the world bigger.
I just have to work for it.
651
00:44:27,458 --> 00:44:31,462
Sports did help me break away.
I played basketball. I ran track.
652
00:44:31,545 --> 00:44:35,341
It taught me discipline.
It taught me that nothing's fair.
653
00:44:36,717 --> 00:44:39,636
Sports brought me and D'vonne together.
654
00:44:42,723 --> 00:44:44,558
I know my mom loves me.
655
00:44:44,641 --> 00:44:48,854
My whole life she didn't really say it.
That's part of her anger now.
656
00:44:48,937 --> 00:44:52,274
She regrets that we didn't live with her.
657
00:44:52,358 --> 00:44:55,402
Dealing with my mom's past,
being a prostitute,
658
00:44:56,153 --> 00:44:59,198
I feel proud that
that's the type of person she was,
659
00:44:59,281 --> 00:45:02,493
because there's a part of them
that's fearless.
660
00:45:02,576 --> 00:45:06,997
They go get what they need to go get.
They use their self to get paid.
661
00:45:07,831 --> 00:45:09,917
It made me who I am.
662
00:45:11,293 --> 00:45:14,046
A lot of people want me
to be on their team.
663
00:45:14,129 --> 00:45:16,256
People say I'm really good.
664
00:45:16,340 --> 00:45:19,551
I want to be an NBA basketball player.
665
00:45:19,635 --> 00:45:22,805
And when I'm in the NBA
I wanna get a mansion.
666
00:45:22,888 --> 00:45:25,391
Then I'm gonna have
a basketball hoop in the backyard.
667
00:45:25,474 --> 00:45:29,520
It's time now for your Seattle U Redhawks!
668
00:45:32,898 --> 00:45:36,360
E'Mari,
he likes playing basketball like me.
669
00:45:38,904 --> 00:45:43,325
He's inside a different class than us,
in special ed.
670
00:45:49,373 --> 00:45:51,500
He runs very fast.
671
00:45:51,583 --> 00:45:54,211
I'm almost fast as he is too.
672
00:46:03,595 --> 00:46:05,180
Couldn't get that one in.
673
00:46:06,473 --> 00:46:11,186
The only thing I hate
about school is I have to get up early.
674
00:46:11,270 --> 00:46:14,148
I like the learning.
675
00:46:17,484 --> 00:46:19,611
I want to be an artist,
676
00:46:20,279 --> 00:46:22,823
a model, a fashion designer...
677
00:46:24,074 --> 00:46:25,576
and a veterinarian.
678
00:46:28,495 --> 00:46:31,832
Let's go, Seahawks, let's go!
679
00:46:31,915 --> 00:46:35,419
Let's go, Seahawks, let's go!
680
00:46:35,502 --> 00:46:38,672
Let's go, Seahawks, let's go!
681
00:46:54,396 --> 00:46:56,982
Move. Move!
682
00:46:57,065 --> 00:47:00,486
Go, 49! Go, 49!
683
00:47:00,569 --> 00:47:04,448
Go, 49! Go, 49!
684
00:47:04,531 --> 00:47:05,782
Hey!
685
00:47:10,162 --> 00:47:13,415
Mikka, look at this doll!
686
00:47:16,668 --> 00:47:19,671
They wanna meet you. Here!
687
00:47:19,755 --> 00:47:22,257
They talk! Mmm!
688
00:47:25,219 --> 00:47:27,596
I went to juvenile
'cause I did, like...
689
00:47:27,679 --> 00:47:31,308
I had, like, harassment cases,
like stealing cars and -.
690
00:47:32,059 --> 00:47:35,854
Not like nothing hella major,
but, I mean, little stuff counts,
691
00:47:35,938 --> 00:47:38,524
like destructing property,
like disturbing the peace.
692
00:47:38,607 --> 00:47:41,360
You know what I mean? That type of stuff.
693
00:47:41,443 --> 00:47:43,445
Stealing people's stuff, yeah.
694
00:47:44,905 --> 00:47:48,200
When I go to sleep -
When I'm laying in juvenile I go to sleep,
695
00:47:48,283 --> 00:47:52,037
and then I always have dreams about
being outside, and they seem so real.
696
00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:54,957
Like you could touch something.
This is what my dream feels like.
697
00:47:55,040 --> 00:47:57,376
Every time I have a dream
everything feels real.
698
00:47:57,459 --> 00:47:59,962
I cannot tell the difference
from having the dream.
699
00:48:00,045 --> 00:48:03,131
Even though I can see myself sometimes,
but everything feels real.
700
00:48:03,215 --> 00:48:06,134
I could kiss somebody,
and it feels like I'm kissing 'em.
701
00:48:06,218 --> 00:48:10,180
Then I wake up, and I'm still in the same
spot as I was when I went to sleep.
702
00:48:10,264 --> 00:48:14,184
And it's like, "Damn. I'm still here?"
You know what I mean?
703
00:48:14,268 --> 00:48:15,769
Yeah.
704
00:48:21,149 --> 00:48:23,569
My first baby I gave up temporarily
705
00:48:23,652 --> 00:48:26,989
'cause I was still wanting to run around,
and I wasn't ready.
706
00:48:27,072 --> 00:48:30,200
- Was that me?
- ...Child Protective Services...
707
00:48:30,284 --> 00:48:31,827
Naw, that can't be.
708
00:48:31,910 --> 00:48:34,121
I was into drug use.
709
00:48:34,955 --> 00:48:37,291
Who is that? Oh, look at Keanna!
710
00:48:37,374 --> 00:48:39,376
That's Keanna, isn't it?
711
00:48:40,043 --> 00:48:43,255
- Oh, look at me and Shawnie.
- Couldn't take care of them.
712
00:48:45,382 --> 00:48:46,925
- Wow.
- Shawnie?
713
00:48:47,009 --> 00:48:48,260
Hi!
714
00:48:49,595 --> 00:48:51,054
Super pow - Look.
715
00:48:51,138 --> 00:48:53,932
My daughter especially
is really happy.
716
00:48:54,016 --> 00:48:58,228
Daylon, he's always a hard one
to adjust to people and stuff.
717
00:48:58,312 --> 00:48:59,730
Sometimes he's happy.
718
00:48:59,813 --> 00:49:02,399
- Do you like where you're staying at?
- Yeah.
719
00:49:02,482 --> 00:49:04,192
- You do?
- Yeah.
720
00:49:04,276 --> 00:49:07,821
I remember why I liked suspenders.
I had them back in the day.
721
00:49:07,904 --> 00:49:10,782
...that I can say is mine
and love and -.
722
00:49:10,866 --> 00:49:12,159
That's sad.
723
00:49:12,242 --> 00:49:13,952
That looks like it hurt.
724
00:49:14,036 --> 00:49:15,537
She eat it.
725
00:49:15,621 --> 00:49:17,623
They're still young enough to where
726
00:49:17,706 --> 00:49:21,209
I can try to make my life better,
or their lives better.
727
00:49:21,293 --> 00:49:24,463
Eventually start school again
and, uh, get them back
728
00:49:24,546 --> 00:49:26,548
and spend a lot of time with them
729
00:49:26,632 --> 00:49:28,800
so they wouldn't think
that I don't love them.
730
00:49:28,884 --> 00:49:30,802
Mom was kinda pretty back in the day.
731
00:49:30,886 --> 00:49:33,972
So, what do you want to know
about the foster home?
732
00:49:34,056 --> 00:49:36,975
Um, how they're doing.
733
00:49:38,435 --> 00:49:39,728
That is sad.
734
00:49:39,811 --> 00:49:42,397
They still ask about coming back,
you know,
735
00:49:42,481 --> 00:49:45,150
but they seem to be really happy,
736
00:49:45,233 --> 00:49:49,071
and it's just a real warm place.
737
00:49:49,154 --> 00:49:51,573
- She really likes -
- Do you even care, really?
738
00:49:51,657 --> 00:49:53,617
I think
you made the right decision.
739
00:49:53,700 --> 00:49:56,119
They're real well taken care of.
740
00:49:57,412 --> 00:49:59,956
I want to meet the people.
741
00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:02,793
How do you do that?
How do you just be okay
742
00:50:02,876 --> 00:50:05,170
with where your kids are at like that?
743
00:50:05,253 --> 00:50:07,547
I just don't understand that.
744
00:50:07,631 --> 00:50:09,549
- Really?
- Not letting her out of my sight.
745
00:50:09,633 --> 00:50:11,635
I would stop everything for my kids.
746
00:50:11,718 --> 00:50:16,973
If I had a chance to have my kids,
I would stop a lot of shit, you know?
747
00:50:18,642 --> 00:50:20,268
I miss my kids a lot.
748
00:50:25,107 --> 00:50:26,733
Me and my mom.
749
00:50:26,817 --> 00:50:28,360
Come on, Mom.
750
00:50:28,443 --> 00:50:31,196
- Want me to give you a piggyback ride?
- Oh, yeah, sure.
751
00:50:31,279 --> 00:50:33,615
Erin, don't - don't you dare.
752
00:50:33,699 --> 00:50:35,575
- Why?
- 'Cause.
753
00:50:35,659 --> 00:50:36,868
Come on, Mom.
754
00:50:36,952 --> 00:50:40,747
The first time Erin ran away
from home, I called the police.
755
00:50:40,831 --> 00:50:42,999
Puppas!
756
00:50:43,083 --> 00:50:45,836
Before I found Erin, it was about a week.
757
00:50:49,131 --> 00:50:51,717
Hey, Puppas!
758
00:50:53,385 --> 00:50:56,513
For about three months,
I tried to get her to come home.
759
00:50:56,596 --> 00:50:58,557
My P-P-Puppas.
760
00:51:06,189 --> 00:51:10,444
She has grown up quite a bit
since she's been on these streets.
761
00:51:10,527 --> 00:51:12,612
Don't fall.
762
00:51:12,696 --> 00:51:14,948
She was 14 going on 21.
763
00:51:20,203 --> 00:51:24,082
When I was drinking, Erin and I
used to get in some bad arguments.
764
00:51:24,166 --> 00:51:27,794
I could see it in her mind,
she was thinking, "Oh, no. Not again."
765
00:51:33,633 --> 00:51:36,553
The first time Erin was arrested
for prostitution,
766
00:51:36,636 --> 00:51:39,222
I knew she was running around
downtown on the streets,
767
00:51:39,306 --> 00:51:42,350
but I had no idea
she was doing something like that.
768
00:51:46,188 --> 00:51:50,484
One day she come home,
told me she'd made $200.
769
00:51:50,567 --> 00:51:54,529
$200? I about fell off my chair.
770
00:51:54,613 --> 00:51:58,575
I can't stop her from doing this,
'cause she's just gonna do it anyways.
771
00:52:04,581 --> 00:52:06,416
When Erin first told me about this,
772
00:52:06,500 --> 00:52:09,586
she thought I would be really angry
with her and hate her.
773
00:52:09,669 --> 00:52:13,507
But I don't. It's just a phase
she's going through right now.
774
00:52:14,549 --> 00:52:16,968
- What's wrong with your puppy?
- Don't ask.
775
00:52:17,052 --> 00:52:20,680
Erin's always wanting this
and wanting that.
776
00:52:20,764 --> 00:52:23,809
When you're a waitress,
you just don't make that much.
777
00:52:25,143 --> 00:52:28,230
She'll see something she'll want,
and I just can't afford it.
778
00:52:28,313 --> 00:52:30,190
And I just hate telling her no.
779
00:52:30,273 --> 00:52:33,276
- These three colors.
- Eye shadow pencil.
780
00:52:33,360 --> 00:52:37,614
Yeah, and the eye lining. I want these -
The basic blue and the basic black.
781
00:52:37,697 --> 00:52:39,991
Did you see the things
I marked out of here?
782
00:52:40,075 --> 00:52:41,451
- No.
- Look.
783
00:52:41,535 --> 00:52:45,789
In headlines this morning
on KIRO News Radio 71, Carnation,
784
00:52:45,872 --> 00:52:49,584
the proposal by the city of Bellevue
to build a dam on the Snoqualmie River
785
00:52:49,668 --> 00:52:51,878
in order to get its own supply of water...
786
00:52:56,675 --> 00:52:58,844
I want to show you some things.
787
00:52:58,927 --> 00:53:02,264
The younger kids had a chance to live
with their mom, and you never did.
788
00:53:02,347 --> 00:53:04,015
Why don't you talk about that?
789
00:53:04,099 --> 00:53:06,601
I don't know why it makes me cry.
790
00:53:06,685 --> 00:53:09,938
I do remember being in a home.
791
00:53:10,021 --> 00:53:12,482
It was just me and Daylon.
792
00:53:12,566 --> 00:53:15,527
- Where are you going?
- I'm leaving.
793
00:53:18,572 --> 00:53:21,116
Holly would say,
"At least say goodbye."
794
00:53:21,199 --> 00:53:23,743
Why? They don't want to talk to me.
795
00:53:23,827 --> 00:53:27,289
They're just kids, you know?
This is hard on them too.
796
00:53:28,707 --> 00:53:32,127
So you'll see them in a week.
797
00:53:32,210 --> 00:53:34,170
Why are you so sad?
798
00:53:34,254 --> 00:53:37,299
Because I miss you guys.
799
00:53:37,382 --> 00:53:39,801
Yeah, I do.
800
00:53:39,885 --> 00:53:41,720
Why got mad?
801
00:53:41,803 --> 00:53:43,221
'Cause...
802
00:53:43,305 --> 00:53:45,765
When I came over yesterday,
803
00:53:45,849 --> 00:53:49,853
it felt like we were hugging and holding
just like inside of this video.
804
00:53:51,688 --> 00:53:53,148
And I'm happy.
805
00:53:53,231 --> 00:53:57,402
Inside of her arms, I do feel protected.
And loved.
806
00:53:57,485 --> 00:54:00,280
And not rejected.
807
00:54:00,363 --> 00:54:02,866
I feel like she's rejected me a lot.
808
00:54:04,784 --> 00:54:09,414
I've always, like, kind of
had the idea of family, you know,
809
00:54:09,497 --> 00:54:12,751
like the Huxtables on The Cosby Show,
you know?
810
00:54:12,834 --> 00:54:15,378
Something like that, you know, and just -.
811
00:54:15,462 --> 00:54:18,048
Or, like, the Roseanne show, you know?
812
00:54:18,131 --> 00:54:20,967
Everybody gets along
even though we're kind of dysfunctional.
813
00:54:21,051 --> 00:54:24,095
But we all can't have that life.
814
00:54:24,179 --> 00:54:26,765
We all are born for the life that we are.
815
00:54:27,432 --> 00:54:28,892
'Cause there's a reason.
816
00:54:50,747 --> 00:54:53,416
Reconnecting
and meeting up with my mom again,
817
00:54:53,500 --> 00:54:55,669
I've cried about it so many times.
818
00:54:55,752 --> 00:54:59,714
Kind of like a missing puzzle piece
that finally fits in.
819
00:54:59,798 --> 00:55:03,760
- I smell some kind of, like, liquor.
- Let me smell.
820
00:55:03,843 --> 00:55:05,723
What I've been trying to tell her
all my life...
821
00:55:05,804 --> 00:55:06,972
Like a margarita.
822
00:55:07,055 --> 00:55:10,684
..."Love me, but don't treat me
how your mother treated you."
823
00:55:11,893 --> 00:55:13,520
Yeah, I hate that song.
824
00:55:13,603 --> 00:55:15,855
The same love that you were looking for
with your mother
825
00:55:15,939 --> 00:55:17,607
is the same one I'm looking for with you.
826
00:55:17,691 --> 00:55:20,485
I should've acted like that
when you wanted to wear makeup.
827
00:55:20,568 --> 00:55:22,529
She's always put things,
828
00:55:22,612 --> 00:55:26,616
like men or alcohol and the drugs
and stuff like that, before me,
829
00:55:26,700 --> 00:55:28,576
before her kids.
830
00:55:28,660 --> 00:55:32,080
I was like,
I want to get my message with God.
831
00:55:32,163 --> 00:55:33,707
She's a bit selfish.
832
00:55:33,790 --> 00:55:37,335
I just need to know
that God's really watching on me.
833
00:55:53,476 --> 00:55:55,478
Leave the empty bags on the side.
834
00:55:55,562 --> 00:55:58,440
Hey. Hey. Put that up there.
835
00:56:14,622 --> 00:56:19,044
So then they didn't have no churches,
so you came - went to Spokane.
836
00:56:19,127 --> 00:56:21,921
Yeah. There was no churches
out in North Dakota.
837
00:56:22,005 --> 00:56:23,965
- There was no churches?
- Not where I was at.
838
00:56:24,049 --> 00:56:26,843
I was like 45 minutes away
from the nearest Walmart.
839
00:56:26,926 --> 00:56:28,386
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.
840
00:56:41,941 --> 00:56:45,445
Kayteonna. Kayteonna.
Time to get up, mama.
841
00:56:45,528 --> 00:56:48,823
- I sleep strong.
- Time to get up. Kayteonna?
842
00:56:48,907 --> 00:56:52,535
- I'm the hardest person to wake up.
- Time to get up.
843
00:56:52,619 --> 00:56:55,371
- J'Lisa?
- J'Lisa ain't hard to wake up like me.
844
00:56:55,455 --> 00:56:57,582
J'Lisa? J'Lisa?
845
00:56:57,665 --> 00:57:01,336
She'll throw a fit
about getting her clothes on...
846
00:57:01,419 --> 00:57:04,881
- Get your clothes. You got your clothes?
- ...or getting her hair done.
847
00:57:04,964 --> 00:57:07,258
- J'Lisa?
- I love J'Lisa.
848
00:57:07,342 --> 00:57:08,635
You ready for school?
849
00:57:08,718 --> 00:57:11,054
I told my children
what I wanted for my birthday.
850
00:57:11,137 --> 00:57:12,889
There you go. Come on, old lady.
851
00:57:13,681 --> 00:57:15,725
I want to see them graduate.
852
00:57:15,809 --> 00:57:17,852
I want them to blossom.
853
00:57:17,936 --> 00:57:20,980
I want them to stick together like glue.
854
00:57:21,064 --> 00:57:23,024
Pull each other up in life.
855
00:57:28,571 --> 00:57:30,281
- You want one?
- No.
856
00:57:31,449 --> 00:57:32,784
What do you cook 'em on?
857
00:57:36,412 --> 00:57:39,582
I look at my children, so outgoing.
858
00:57:40,875 --> 00:57:44,420
They want friends.
They want people to like them.
859
00:57:45,922 --> 00:57:50,343
I want them to go to college,
to grab a career and don't let it go.
860
00:57:53,930 --> 00:57:57,767
Being raised up in this country
as a Black man, it's not easy.
861
00:57:59,185 --> 00:58:01,855
You have so much against you.
862
00:58:02,981 --> 00:58:06,818
There's gonna be days they're gonna
make choices that's not good.
863
00:58:07,777 --> 00:58:10,321
But they have that right also
to pick their heads up
864
00:58:10,405 --> 00:58:12,657
and make a better life for themselves.
865
00:58:14,367 --> 00:58:17,620
Mikka has a dad,
but he's out doing his thing,
866
00:58:17,704 --> 00:58:19,914
and so Mikka never sees him.
867
00:58:19,998 --> 00:58:22,542
I went to see my dad in jail.
868
00:58:22,625 --> 00:58:29,215
My dad is a tall Black man.
869
00:58:30,425 --> 00:58:33,386
He - I never see him anymore.
870
00:58:34,262 --> 00:58:40,059
And he - he does drugs, he sells drugs,
871
00:58:40,143 --> 00:58:43,146
and he was in jail once.
872
00:58:43,229 --> 00:58:46,608
Oh, that's Julian.
Me and Julian was young.
873
00:58:46,691 --> 00:58:48,943
I am number four.
The fourth oldest.
874
00:58:49,027 --> 00:58:52,405
Was this by Wild Waves,
the apartments that we stayed - Yeah.
875
00:58:52,488 --> 00:58:54,866
I remember 'cause of that countertop.
876
00:58:54,949 --> 00:58:57,827
I think the difference between
the first five and the last five
877
00:58:57,911 --> 00:58:59,871
is the fatherly figure being there.
878
00:58:59,954 --> 00:59:02,874
I forgot what I was upset about.
I think I didn't get no bacon.
879
00:59:02,957 --> 00:59:05,084
I didn't get no bacon.
880
00:59:05,960 --> 00:59:07,712
I was mad about it.
881
00:59:09,130 --> 00:59:11,341
Gosh, my hair, man.
882
00:59:11,424 --> 00:59:14,427
My hair looks the same in every picture.
883
00:59:14,510 --> 00:59:17,222
- I don't even know how long ago this was.
- Our complexion?
884
00:59:17,305 --> 00:59:20,266
It's like a bag of Skittles.
We're all different.
885
00:59:20,350 --> 00:59:23,436
I feel like Shawnie is, like,
the lightest out of all of us.
886
00:59:23,519 --> 00:59:24,771
No, Daylon.
887
00:59:24,854 --> 00:59:27,190
Keanna would probably be
the second lightest.
888
00:59:27,273 --> 00:59:29,359
Then me. Then it would be Rayshon.
889
00:59:29,442 --> 00:59:31,319
Then the rest of the kids.
890
00:59:34,405 --> 00:59:37,575
So wild. That's so wild.
891
00:59:37,659 --> 00:59:40,787
Some moments I have,
there are moments being Black,
892
00:59:40,870 --> 00:59:43,623
and there's some moments
I have to be white.
893
00:59:43,706 --> 00:59:46,251
I feel, like, in between,
'cause I'm mixed.
894
00:59:46,334 --> 00:59:47,627
Yeah.
895
00:59:48,711 --> 00:59:50,505
My mom?
896
00:59:50,588 --> 00:59:55,009
She's trying to recover from
all the mistakes she made in her past.
897
00:59:56,052 --> 00:59:58,012
Oh, gosh. So young.
898
00:59:58,096 --> 01:00:00,765
Me and my mom's bond
is really not as strong anymore.
899
01:00:00,848 --> 01:00:04,894
Wow.
That's a while ago. Downtown.
900
01:00:04,978 --> 01:00:09,107
She's been talking about reconnecting
with everybody and working things out,
901
01:00:09,190 --> 01:00:13,736
and I feel like it's time
to go make dues with her.
902
01:00:13,820 --> 01:00:15,947
What's up?
903
01:00:18,408 --> 01:00:21,286
How y'all been? Gettin' all big on me now.
904
01:00:21,369 --> 01:00:24,122
- I just want my mom to get better.
- I'll be upstairs.
905
01:00:24,205 --> 01:00:25,665
It doesn't matter who you are.
906
01:00:25,748 --> 01:00:28,668
If you do drugs, it's always gonna be
a problem with you at the end.
907
01:00:28,751 --> 01:00:30,253
You look all big and stuff.
908
01:00:30,336 --> 01:00:34,007
It affected me because that's my mom.
I like to talk to my mom.
909
01:00:34,090 --> 01:00:36,843
- Shawnie, Mikka, Mom's inside the shower.
- You came back!
910
01:00:36,926 --> 01:00:38,928
Is Mom in the shower?
911
01:00:41,014 --> 01:00:44,017
I love my mom. You only get one.
912
01:00:45,560 --> 01:00:49,105
It's just that feeling you have
from that person
913
01:00:49,188 --> 01:00:51,399
'cause they gave birth to you.
914
01:00:51,482 --> 01:00:54,360
I can feel it, like,
she really loves me deep down.
915
01:00:56,112 --> 01:00:59,657
My mom thinks I'm good-looking
because I came from her.
916
01:00:59,741 --> 01:01:01,784
And she say I look like my dad.
917
01:01:04,787 --> 01:01:07,498
One time when I was little, he came home.
918
01:01:07,582 --> 01:01:10,585
That's the last thing
I can really remember of him,
919
01:01:10,668 --> 01:01:14,088
other than seeing him one time
in jail behind the bars.
920
01:01:14,172 --> 01:01:16,215
- You in school now?
- Yeah.
921
01:01:16,299 --> 01:01:19,052
My mom was a hooker
at the time when she met him.
922
01:01:19,135 --> 01:01:20,762
I gotta go.
923
01:01:20,845 --> 01:01:22,847
So he was just like some random dude.
924
01:01:22,930 --> 01:01:26,225
- Look, I did his hair.
- Yeah, but you messed it up, kinda.
925
01:01:26,309 --> 01:01:28,686
The lineup on this side is -.
926
01:01:28,770 --> 01:01:31,189
- You tried to do the lineup over here.
- I know.
927
01:01:32,106 --> 01:01:34,734
Need to leave that anger stuff alone,
young man.
928
01:01:34,817 --> 01:01:35,985
You look good.
929
01:01:40,448 --> 01:01:42,784
I'm about to go outside
and play basketball.
930
01:01:42,867 --> 01:01:45,620
What is Ranaja doing? No!
931
01:01:45,703 --> 01:01:47,955
There's blood on the dance floor.
932
01:01:48,039 --> 01:01:49,999
No!
933
01:01:51,376 --> 01:01:53,336
And they got that one. Whose is that?
934
01:01:53,419 --> 01:01:55,296
Mikka, you want gum? Tiny, you want gum?
935
01:01:55,380 --> 01:01:57,507
I have a gum. Thank you, though.
936
01:01:57,590 --> 01:02:00,051
- I like Carrie.
- You like Carrie? Who's Carrie?
937
01:02:00,134 --> 01:02:02,720
- Carrie is right here.
- Oh, Harry.
938
01:02:04,305 --> 01:02:06,432
Dang, Mom's still in the shower?
939
01:02:06,516 --> 01:02:08,142
Mom takes very long showers.
940
01:02:08,226 --> 01:02:09,936
How long has
she been starting that?
941
01:02:10,019 --> 01:02:12,063
- Finished with school.
- No, you're not.
942
01:02:12,146 --> 01:02:14,649
You wanna see?
What's that look like, girl?
943
01:02:14,732 --> 01:02:17,276
- He can't read.
- He don't know.
944
01:02:18,736 --> 01:02:20,988
She gonna learn though, huh?
945
01:02:21,072 --> 01:02:24,117
My GED
is more of a surprise thing.
946
01:02:24,200 --> 01:02:25,785
I got all my points.
947
01:02:25,868 --> 01:02:28,454
She's gonna feel excited
that I really finished it.
948
01:02:28,538 --> 01:02:30,248
- It took me a while.
- You passed?
949
01:02:30,331 --> 01:02:33,084
- Yeah. It's my GED.
- Since I was 16.
950
01:02:37,547 --> 01:02:39,715
Wow! Tattoo!
951
01:02:39,799 --> 01:02:42,260
I was thinking about going back to school
952
01:02:42,343 --> 01:02:46,347
'cause I want to do stuff
like an architect or engineering.
953
01:02:46,431 --> 01:02:49,725
Wanna have my own place
and probably have at least a kid.
954
01:02:49,809 --> 01:02:51,060
Have a car.
955
01:02:51,144 --> 01:02:54,105
Have myself together in a better place.
956
01:02:54,188 --> 01:02:55,773
Can we go to the park?
957
01:02:55,857 --> 01:02:58,609
Mom, don't forget it. Did you forget it?
958
01:02:58,693 --> 01:03:02,780
Can we go to the park?
Mom, can we go to the park?
959
01:03:08,411 --> 01:03:09,620
Come on.
960
01:03:09,704 --> 01:03:11,956
I can't run in these shoes.
961
01:03:28,222 --> 01:03:31,017
That didn't hurt, Mikka?
'Cause that's the ribs.
962
01:03:31,100 --> 01:03:34,353
- Yeah. This one did hurt.
- Oh, you got that? Boy!
963
01:03:34,437 --> 01:03:37,857
- Mom, look at the height difference.
- Mom, look.
964
01:03:37,940 --> 01:03:40,485
I got the paper
that says I passed my GED.
965
01:03:40,568 --> 01:03:43,237
- I'm gonna hang it up above my window.
- What is that?
966
01:03:43,321 --> 01:03:45,406
- Oh, did you get it?
- Yeah.
967
01:03:45,490 --> 01:03:47,992
What? Wow!
968
01:03:48,075 --> 01:03:51,078
I feel accomplished that I finished it.
969
01:03:51,162 --> 01:03:52,622
It tells you, uh...
970
01:04:10,932 --> 01:04:14,769
Erin has been in the world
of crack since 1997.
971
01:04:14,852 --> 01:04:16,729
I know this for a fact.
972
01:04:16,812 --> 01:04:19,190
She have bad dreams now,
just like anybody else
973
01:04:19,273 --> 01:04:21,901
who have done wrong
and cleaned up their act,
974
01:04:21,984 --> 01:04:25,404
because sometimes the devil just
wants you to get out and do your thing.
975
01:04:25,488 --> 01:04:26,656
But she tells me.
976
01:04:26,739 --> 01:04:29,408
She say, "I had a bad dream.
It's about smoking."
977
01:04:36,457 --> 01:04:39,877
I admit that I am addicted to it.
978
01:04:39,961 --> 01:04:43,839
All you do is drop one fucking drug
for a-fucking-nother!
979
01:04:43,923 --> 01:04:46,217
And all you do is make up
these fucking excuses
980
01:04:46,300 --> 01:04:48,928
why you can't get off this fucking shit!
981
01:04:49,011 --> 01:04:50,429
You are fucking hypocritical!
982
01:04:50,513 --> 01:04:53,349
You guys don't know
what's good for me!
983
01:04:53,432 --> 01:04:56,185
Then how you gonna
try to sit here and dictate
984
01:04:56,269 --> 01:04:58,229
what's good for other people?
985
01:04:58,312 --> 01:05:01,983
- How do you know it's my birthday?
- Because I just googled you, bitch!
986
01:05:06,946 --> 01:05:08,990
You okay, Mama?
987
01:05:12,618 --> 01:05:14,120
It's cold.
988
01:05:14,203 --> 01:05:16,664
I wish we were
just one big happy family.
989
01:05:16,747 --> 01:05:19,250
The only happy family in this world
990
01:05:19,333 --> 01:05:22,003
are written in fictional books.
991
01:05:22,086 --> 01:05:23,754
Made-up stories.
992
01:05:23,838 --> 01:05:26,716
Fairy tales.
993
01:05:26,799 --> 01:05:30,219
My dad has been in and out a lot.
994
01:05:30,303 --> 01:05:32,555
I'm surprised
that he's been here this long now.
995
01:05:32,638 --> 01:05:34,140
- I love you, Mom.
- I love you too.
996
01:05:34,223 --> 01:05:35,891
Living in his motel.
997
01:05:35,975 --> 01:05:38,227
I'm just trying to help her. That's all.
998
01:05:38,311 --> 01:05:39,937
I know.
999
01:05:40,021 --> 01:05:42,607
I have to say something else,
Shawnie.
1000
01:05:42,690 --> 01:05:46,527
- I take care of these kids. You do not.
- I understand that.
1001
01:05:46,611 --> 01:05:51,574
And therefore, Shawnie,
you have no say-so over what I do.
1002
01:05:52,992 --> 01:05:54,744
I don't take care of you.
1003
01:05:55,911 --> 01:06:01,208
You've got to stop trying to live my life
and tell me how to live it.
1004
01:06:02,126 --> 01:06:03,961
It's not up to you what I do.
1005
01:06:04,712 --> 01:06:07,590
You don't have to come around me
1006
01:06:07,673 --> 01:06:11,761
if it bothers you that much
to see what I'm doing.
1007
01:06:13,471 --> 01:06:16,515
'Cause I just feel like
we're gonna just crash again.
1008
01:06:17,850 --> 01:06:20,144
And it's not fair to either one of us.
1009
01:06:27,902 --> 01:06:29,987
She's still making excuses.
1010
01:06:32,239 --> 01:06:34,784
She's right. You guys are not my kids.
1011
01:06:34,867 --> 01:06:37,161
But it would be good
to keep on seeing you, yeah?
1012
01:06:37,244 --> 01:06:38,371
Yeah.
1013
01:06:40,581 --> 01:06:42,625
Yes, you may.
1014
01:06:42,708 --> 01:06:44,794
Why, yes, you may.
1015
01:06:44,877 --> 01:06:47,338
What is your problem?
1016
01:06:47,421 --> 01:06:49,715
You gonna beat us? No, no.
1017
01:06:57,890 --> 01:07:00,643
At school,
I don't act up like how Rayshon does.
1018
01:07:00,726 --> 01:07:03,312
That's true. You only do it at home.
1019
01:07:03,396 --> 01:07:04,689
Yep, that's right.
1020
01:07:06,691 --> 01:07:09,443
Why do you do it at home
and not at school?
1021
01:07:09,527 --> 01:07:13,406
Because I have work to do at school,
and I have to finish my work.
1022
01:07:13,489 --> 01:07:17,993
Oh! So if I give you work here,
would you do like you do at school?
1023
01:07:18,077 --> 01:07:19,078
Yep.
1024
01:07:19,161 --> 01:07:23,207
Why don't you clean up
the front door area?
1025
01:07:23,290 --> 01:07:24,750
The front door area?
1026
01:07:24,834 --> 01:07:27,211
Yeah. Kind of organize
stuff around there.
1027
01:07:27,294 --> 01:07:29,296
Pick up all the shoes,
put them in the bucket.
1028
01:07:29,380 --> 01:07:30,631
Okay.
1029
01:07:30,715 --> 01:07:33,592
Then get the vacuum cleaner
and vacuum up all the dirt.
1030
01:07:33,676 --> 01:07:36,220
- Okay.
- And then you mop it.
1031
01:07:36,303 --> 01:07:37,346
Okay.
1032
01:07:38,931 --> 01:07:41,600
You can open up the front door a little.
1033
01:07:41,684 --> 01:07:43,686
Right there?
1034
01:07:43,769 --> 01:07:45,521
Just about to where -.
1035
01:07:46,564 --> 01:07:48,107
Too much water, JuJu.
1036
01:07:48,190 --> 01:07:51,652
Yeah, open it up. A little bit more.
1037
01:07:51,736 --> 01:07:54,488
- Right there?
- Okay. That's good.
1038
01:07:57,158 --> 01:07:59,785
Hi.
This is kind of a non-emergency.
1039
01:08:00,911 --> 01:08:03,205
Okay, I need somebody to
come pick up my son.
1040
01:08:03,289 --> 01:08:07,918
He's on the home monitoring,
and not abiding by the rules here,
1041
01:08:08,002 --> 01:08:11,505
so I need somebody to come
pick him up and take him down to juvie.
1042
01:08:11,589 --> 01:08:13,382
He's cussing at me.
1043
01:08:13,466 --> 01:08:17,720
He's, um, kind of, you know,
acting like he's running the household.
1044
01:08:17,803 --> 01:08:21,265
Also, he had somebody go down
and pick him up some weed,
1045
01:08:21,348 --> 01:08:23,184
bring it to the house, and I found out,
1046
01:08:23,267 --> 01:08:25,936
and I made those people take it back
to where they got it from.
1047
01:08:26,020 --> 01:08:27,521
That's not allowed in my house.
1048
01:08:27,605 --> 01:08:30,483
So now I can't trust him. You know.
1049
01:08:30,566 --> 01:08:32,693
And he's verbal with the younger siblings,
1050
01:08:32,777 --> 01:08:35,404
and I just, you know,
don't want to deal with that.
1051
01:08:35,488 --> 01:08:36,781
Blackwell.
1052
01:08:38,240 --> 01:08:39,575
Rayshon.
1053
01:08:40,743 --> 01:08:42,912
R-A-Y-S-H-O-N.
1054
01:08:45,247 --> 01:08:47,917
Uh, he's 5'10".
1055
01:08:48,000 --> 01:08:50,211
Skinny. Black.
1056
01:08:50,294 --> 01:08:52,838
Very little - Just a couple hairs
on the chin.
1057
01:08:52,922 --> 01:08:55,049
He's got a mustache, though. Charles.
1058
01:08:56,926 --> 01:08:58,177
Erin.
1059
01:09:00,137 --> 01:09:01,305
Yes.
1060
01:09:02,890 --> 01:09:03,891
A.
1061
01:09:07,561 --> 01:09:09,021
5869.
1062
01:09:10,898 --> 01:09:11,941
Yeah.
1063
01:09:13,901 --> 01:09:15,027
Yes.
1064
01:09:20,241 --> 01:09:21,492
Okay.
1065
01:09:21,575 --> 01:09:23,369
Hop on in.
1066
01:09:23,452 --> 01:09:26,121
Seat belt, and we'll get out of here.
1067
01:09:26,205 --> 01:09:27,832
Uh-huh. Bye.
1068
01:09:28,749 --> 01:09:31,669
I hate to do that, but you know what?
He's gotta learn.
1069
01:09:31,752 --> 01:09:33,629
He can't just do me like that.
1070
01:09:33,712 --> 01:09:35,631
- Does he know that he's leaving?
- Huh?
1071
01:09:35,714 --> 01:09:39,260
- Does he know that he's leaving?
- No. He probably didn't believe me.
1072
01:09:40,803 --> 01:09:44,265
Does he think that you're gonna be
too scared to call on him?
1073
01:09:44,348 --> 01:09:46,267
No, I'm not scared.
He just probably thinks,
1074
01:09:46,350 --> 01:09:49,019
"Oh, Mom always says that
and then she never does it."
1075
01:09:49,103 --> 01:09:52,273
I feel that
if I didn't speak up in court,
1076
01:09:52,356 --> 01:09:55,734
they wouldn't think that I really cared.
1077
01:09:55,818 --> 01:10:00,364
I know what would work for my son,
but they can't do what I wanted to do.
1078
01:10:00,447 --> 01:10:04,869
What I wanted was six months' probation
and home monitoring.
1079
01:10:04,952 --> 01:10:09,164
Rayshon would go to school.
Get better grades. I would help him.
1080
01:10:09,248 --> 01:10:14,128
Mom can't fire you,
much as she'd like to sometimes.
1081
01:10:14,211 --> 01:10:18,424
'Cause, you know,
you're paying for electricity, right?
1082
01:10:18,507 --> 01:10:21,051
- No.
- Oh, you pay for food?
1083
01:10:21,135 --> 01:10:22,177
No.
1084
01:10:22,261 --> 01:10:24,680
You freeloading, man!
1085
01:10:24,763 --> 01:10:29,852
Your job, your only job,
is to attend school, right?
1086
01:10:29,935 --> 01:10:31,645
You're not doing your part.
1087
01:10:31,729 --> 01:10:35,649
And your younger brothers and sisters,
the younger folks in the house,
1088
01:10:35,733 --> 01:10:37,902
they say, "Rayshon's not going to school.
1089
01:10:37,985 --> 01:10:40,487
I wanna be just like Rayshon
and not go to school."
1090
01:10:40,571 --> 01:10:41,947
Right?
1091
01:10:43,782 --> 01:10:46,035
Nah, they're actually
pretty good in school.
1092
01:10:58,881 --> 01:11:01,383
Excuse me. Yes?
1093
01:11:01,467 --> 01:11:03,385
What are you doing?
1094
01:11:03,469 --> 01:11:05,971
What are you doing?
1095
01:11:06,055 --> 01:11:08,307
Playing on my computer.
1096
01:11:08,390 --> 01:11:12,561
- Mah-jongg.
- What time can I come down there?
1097
01:11:12,645 --> 01:11:13,938
I love my mom.
1098
01:11:14,021 --> 01:11:15,689
Oh, anytime before 3:00.
1099
01:11:15,773 --> 01:11:18,817
- We have a very distant relationship.
- Why before 3:00?
1100
01:11:18,901 --> 01:11:20,527
3:00 is kind of late.
1101
01:11:20,611 --> 01:11:24,198
She does what she does,
and I just choose to stay away from it.
1102
01:11:24,281 --> 01:11:25,741
- Mother!
- What?
1103
01:11:25,824 --> 01:11:28,827
She's never gonna change,
and it just causes arguments.
1104
01:11:28,911 --> 01:11:32,498
No, 'cause when Frank gets home,
he don't feel like entertaining.
1105
01:11:32,581 --> 01:11:34,917
He's out working right now.
1106
01:11:35,000 --> 01:11:36,418
So what?
1107
01:11:38,128 --> 01:11:41,423
Okay. Now you've made me miss a move.
1108
01:11:43,926 --> 01:11:46,845
Come on, Beanie!
1109
01:11:46,929 --> 01:11:49,306
Beanie Boy!
1110
01:11:49,390 --> 01:11:51,475
Beans! Come on. Let's go.
1111
01:11:51,558 --> 01:11:53,686
Come on, Bean. Come on!
1112
01:11:53,769 --> 01:11:55,145
Come on.
1113
01:11:57,064 --> 01:11:58,649
Bean!
1114
01:11:58,732 --> 01:12:01,777
Bean, hey. You looky here, sir.
1115
01:12:01,860 --> 01:12:04,405
You don't need to be seeing
what's out there.
1116
01:12:04,488 --> 01:12:06,115
Go in the back!
1117
01:12:07,700 --> 01:12:10,744
Oh, honey, don't tease him!
1118
01:12:10,828 --> 01:12:12,579
I don't come down here.
1119
01:12:12,663 --> 01:12:16,458
There's nowhere for the kids to play.
Too small in there. Nowhere to sit.
1120
01:12:16,542 --> 01:12:20,671
And that cat is evil. He looked at me
like he was about to attack me.
1121
01:12:20,754 --> 01:12:22,631
Oh, Beans.
1122
01:12:22,715 --> 01:12:25,509
I don't trust it. That's my Beanie boy.
1123
01:12:25,592 --> 01:12:27,720
- Get him a little sweater.
- He'll pee on it.
1124
01:12:27,803 --> 01:12:30,305
When he goes to the bathroom,
he'll end up peeing on it.
1125
01:12:30,389 --> 01:12:32,975
- Doesn't he lift his leg?
- Not all the time.
1126
01:12:33,058 --> 01:12:34,601
He bends down.
1127
01:12:34,685 --> 01:12:39,023
- Sometimes he bends down.
- Oh, really? That's odd.
1128
01:12:39,106 --> 01:12:41,358
You guys really wanna go in?
1129
01:12:41,442 --> 01:12:43,694
- Yeah.
- Okay, let's go in.
1130
01:12:43,777 --> 01:12:46,238
I can sit at the table, but I gotta pee.
1131
01:12:46,321 --> 01:12:49,950
- You can flush it, Erin, can't you?
- No. Uh-uh.
1132
01:12:51,243 --> 01:12:53,579
I don't want to touch it.
1133
01:12:53,662 --> 01:12:57,207
- It's gross!
- All right. I will.
1134
01:12:58,333 --> 01:13:00,794
She was a cute baby.
1135
01:13:00,878 --> 01:13:02,963
Okay.
1136
01:13:03,047 --> 01:13:06,842
I don't have any baby pictures
of her either.
1137
01:13:06,925 --> 01:13:10,220
Okay, just a minute. Put this out.
1138
01:13:11,638 --> 01:13:14,224
And I've got some soap in here, Erin.
1139
01:13:19,605 --> 01:13:22,357
Do you ask me like that?
1140
01:13:22,441 --> 01:13:23,776
No, you don't.
1141
01:13:23,859 --> 01:13:27,071
I'm not a religious person.
I never tell nobody I'm religious.
1142
01:13:27,154 --> 01:13:31,116
But in the book of Hosea, in the Bible,
Hosea married a prostitute.
1143
01:13:32,743 --> 01:13:37,247
And when you have been
in the situation that she's been into,
1144
01:13:37,331 --> 01:13:41,752
prostitutes have a way of being people
that have been driven out there
1145
01:13:41,835 --> 01:13:44,421
for some odd reason,
and drugs were her problem.
1146
01:13:44,505 --> 01:13:46,799
- You'd better not!
- Drugs and her mother.
1147
01:13:48,592 --> 01:13:51,929
Erin want things.
She had the opportunity to have things.
1148
01:13:52,012 --> 01:13:55,099
But her mother destroyed that,
took her away from it.
1149
01:13:55,182 --> 01:14:00,104
That's why when she have
something now, she just hold on to it.
1150
01:14:00,187 --> 01:14:03,690
- 'Cause you can't face reality.
- Well, neither can you, damn it!
1151
01:14:03,774 --> 01:14:06,151
- Oh, yes, I can.
- Bullshit!
1152
01:14:06,235 --> 01:14:08,695
- Oh, yes, I can.
- Why don't you just go home?
1153
01:14:08,779 --> 01:14:10,239
- I'm going.
- Brat.
1154
01:14:10,322 --> 01:14:14,159
- You made me like this.
- Oh, baloney. You made yourself this way.
1155
01:14:19,331 --> 01:14:21,792
Maybe I'd have a real mother
if she'd believe what she does...
1156
01:14:21,875 --> 01:14:24,545
- Maybe if I had a daughter...
- ...and quit fucking drinking.
1157
01:14:24,628 --> 01:14:26,547
...that didn't hit the street!
1158
01:14:26,630 --> 01:14:27,923
Bitch.
1159
01:14:32,678 --> 01:14:35,013
I don't know if my mom loves me.
1160
01:14:36,849 --> 01:14:39,518
When I was younger, it mattered to me,
1161
01:14:39,601 --> 01:14:42,896
but now it's just like -
She's just like a friend.
1162
01:14:42,980 --> 01:14:44,648
Okay, go ahead.
1163
01:14:44,731 --> 01:14:46,525
I didn't flush it.
1164
01:14:46,608 --> 01:14:48,485
Come here, you.
1165
01:14:48,569 --> 01:14:50,612
Impossible kitty cat.
1166
01:14:50,696 --> 01:14:52,990
What's that in that cup?
1167
01:14:53,073 --> 01:14:56,451
- That's my flea catcher.
- Oh. Great.
1168
01:14:56,535 --> 01:14:59,079
You have fleas, Mom?
1169
01:14:59,163 --> 01:15:01,498
No, not now.
1170
01:15:08,005 --> 01:15:11,633
- Sure you don't have ear mites?
- Nah, I don't think so.
1171
01:15:13,594 --> 01:15:18,056
She stoled somebody's horse one time.
I said, "You take that horse right back!
1172
01:15:18,140 --> 01:15:19,725
I'm not gonna go to jail!"
1173
01:15:19,808 --> 01:15:22,102
I remember that.
That was Mrs. Sheritts.
1174
01:15:22,186 --> 01:15:24,980
Yes. That horse was big!
1175
01:15:25,063 --> 01:15:29,026
She was only about ten
when I made you take that horse back.
1176
01:15:29,109 --> 01:15:32,070
"I don't want to!"
I says, "You stoled it. You take it back."
1177
01:15:34,781 --> 01:15:37,701
I don't know how
she ever got up on that horse.
1178
01:15:57,512 --> 01:15:59,264
I just see Rayshon.
1179
01:16:02,684 --> 01:16:05,062
He's still my baby.
1180
01:16:08,273 --> 01:16:11,944
I wish I could take Rayshon home
every time I leave from there...
1181
01:16:13,362 --> 01:16:14,905
but I can't.
1182
01:16:14,988 --> 01:16:17,324
Totally helpless. Can't do nothing.
1183
01:16:19,826 --> 01:16:25,457
When he does stuff like this,
he left everybody behind.
1184
01:16:29,127 --> 01:16:32,881
I think about it every day, like,
why couldn't he just listen?
1185
01:16:34,299 --> 01:16:37,803
Why did he have to do that?
He screwed it up.
1186
01:16:39,012 --> 01:16:40,722
He's locked up.
1187
01:16:43,267 --> 01:16:47,354
We can't touch him.
We can't hug him. We can't kiss him.
1188
01:16:47,437 --> 01:16:48,981
There's a barrier.
1189
01:16:54,778 --> 01:16:59,950
He's in this hole
that's just never gonna go away.
1190
01:17:00,033 --> 01:17:03,870
He's going to have that on his back.
1191
01:17:04,705 --> 01:17:05,956
A felony.
1192
01:17:08,667 --> 01:17:11,003
- Hey, Rayshon.
- Hi, Mom.
1193
01:17:11,086 --> 01:17:12,796
- How you doing?
- I'm doing good.
1194
01:17:13,547 --> 01:17:15,424
Just a little bit stressed.
1195
01:17:16,758 --> 01:17:19,303
I want to apologize
for the things I said in the letter.
1196
01:17:19,386 --> 01:17:20,721
That's okay.
1197
01:17:20,804 --> 01:17:23,056
I'm not ashamed of Rayshon.
1198
01:17:23,140 --> 01:17:26,643
I'm just ashamed of the shit that he did.
1199
01:17:26,727 --> 01:17:29,396
- He didn't have to do that.
- What's up with Ranaja?
1200
01:17:29,479 --> 01:17:33,275
- But he wanted more.
- Ranaja went to juvenile on Monday.
1201
01:17:33,358 --> 01:17:35,777
- Why?
- She's been running from home.
1202
01:17:35,861 --> 01:17:38,780
- Ranaja was talking back to me...
- She had a warrant.
1203
01:17:38,864 --> 01:17:40,324
...and she wanted to leave.
1204
01:17:40,407 --> 01:17:42,534
She told me to call the police
to come pick her up.
1205
01:17:42,617 --> 01:17:44,202
I told her she couldn't go nowhere.
1206
01:17:44,286 --> 01:17:46,496
How long
is she going to be in juvenile for?
1207
01:17:46,580 --> 01:17:48,582
She waited until I was asleep,
and then she left.
1208
01:17:48,665 --> 01:17:49,916
She came back on Tuesday.
1209
01:17:50,000 --> 01:17:53,003
I didn't see or hear from her
for, like, maybe a week,
1210
01:17:53,086 --> 01:17:55,714
and I finally went out there
to look for her.
1211
01:17:57,132 --> 01:17:58,550
And I found her.
1212
01:17:59,968 --> 01:18:03,722
She looked like she ain't showered
that whole entire week.
1213
01:18:03,805 --> 01:18:08,101
She didn't look like
she changed her clothes, do her hair.
1214
01:18:08,185 --> 01:18:09,895
She looked like a bum.
1215
01:18:12,314 --> 01:18:15,692
I don't understand
why she thinks it's so bad here.
1216
01:18:25,827 --> 01:18:28,372
I wish I could be
that skinny again.
1217
01:18:31,249 --> 01:18:35,003
- What was that?
- Ugh. My mom. Do you see the house?
1218
01:18:37,047 --> 01:18:40,217
This is around the time
my mom went to treatment.
1219
01:18:40,300 --> 01:18:43,053
- What were you gonna ask?
- Do you remember that day?
1220
01:18:43,136 --> 01:18:44,679
- Yeah.
- Was she sad?
1221
01:18:44,763 --> 01:18:47,682
Yeah, I don't know.
I mean, she hid under the alcohol.
1222
01:18:47,766 --> 01:18:49,935
So I really don't know.
1223
01:18:50,018 --> 01:18:53,647
That she drank all the time?
Yeah, that was sad.
1224
01:18:53,730 --> 01:18:58,318
- Do you remember that?
- I don't remember his name.
1225
01:18:58,402 --> 01:19:01,238
Is that
before the punk hairdo?
1226
01:19:01,321 --> 01:19:04,991
Mmm, no. This is the same hairdo.
1227
01:19:05,075 --> 01:19:07,285
See how it's cut there?
1228
01:19:07,369 --> 01:19:09,663
Do you remember the jacket?
1229
01:19:09,746 --> 01:19:11,748
Yes, I remember that coat.
1230
01:19:11,832 --> 01:19:15,085
- What color was it?
- Oh, it was red.
1231
01:19:19,214 --> 01:19:20,674
All right.
1232
01:19:20,757 --> 01:19:23,176
Just two days
after my 13th birthday.
1233
01:19:23,260 --> 01:19:25,220
Call and tell her
we're gonna come see her.
1234
01:19:25,303 --> 01:19:28,557
Downtown looking for
a Mother's Day present for my mom.
1235
01:19:28,640 --> 01:19:31,560
Girl stabbed in her back.
Punctured her lung.
1236
01:19:31,643 --> 01:19:34,646
It was scary because these
Black guys would be getting in my face,
1237
01:19:34,729 --> 01:19:36,606
and I just didn't know what to do.
1238
01:19:37,774 --> 01:19:42,028
'Cause I didn't know what the game was.
I didn't know about pimps or prostitutes.
1239
01:19:42,112 --> 01:19:45,866
I didn't know little kids my age
was prostitutes.
1240
01:19:47,868 --> 01:19:50,871
I thought they were all, like,
older women in their 30s.
1241
01:19:51,955 --> 01:19:53,832
Lou Lou is my protection.
1242
01:19:54,875 --> 01:19:56,668
Says I'm her sister.
1243
01:19:58,044 --> 01:20:02,466
My brother and my sister.
She called Lisa a bitch.
1244
01:20:02,549 --> 01:20:05,218
You're a movie star, Dawn,
and you're even dressed up, huh?
1245
01:20:05,302 --> 01:20:06,344
They ain't filmin' you!
1246
01:20:06,428 --> 01:20:10,182
Some dates
are really old men in their 70s.
1247
01:20:11,057 --> 01:20:13,477
For a blowjob, it'd be 30 on up.
1248
01:20:13,560 --> 01:20:15,854
For a handjob is 25.
1249
01:20:17,230 --> 01:20:21,568
Most of these veterinarian hos
would charge more than us little kids do.
1250
01:20:21,651 --> 01:20:23,987
She almost knocked your radio off.
Hit her.
1251
01:20:24,070 --> 01:20:25,989
You must have a death wish, baby.
1252
01:20:35,499 --> 01:20:37,834
They picked me up.
1253
01:20:37,918 --> 01:20:40,712
I don't care if they picked you up
or you picked them up.
1254
01:20:40,795 --> 01:20:42,422
It's not right.
1255
01:20:42,506 --> 01:20:46,009
I got raped
the second week I was downtown.
1256
01:20:47,385 --> 01:20:50,305
I wish I was still at home,
going to school.
1257
01:20:50,388 --> 01:20:52,807
I wish my mom would stop her drinking.
1258
01:20:53,642 --> 01:20:56,061
'Cause the mess I'm in now is horrible.
1259
01:20:59,648 --> 01:21:02,275
I'm supposed to be in 9th grade this year.
1260
01:21:04,319 --> 01:21:07,072
I want to get a tutor to myself,
1261
01:21:07,155 --> 01:21:09,324
get my diploma and into college
1262
01:21:09,407 --> 01:21:14,996
and be a policewoman or a veterinarian
1263
01:21:15,080 --> 01:21:18,625
or a computerize person
that works on computers
1264
01:21:18,708 --> 01:21:20,585
that gets paid a lot of money.
1265
01:21:31,012 --> 01:21:33,431
I don't really want to go
back to school...
1266
01:21:35,267 --> 01:21:37,060
but I've got to.
1267
01:21:38,436 --> 01:21:41,106
I don't want to be shooting up drugs
all my life.
1268
01:21:54,286 --> 01:21:56,788
I want my kids to have a future.
1269
01:21:57,497 --> 01:21:58,915
To have a life.
1270
01:21:58,999 --> 01:22:01,960
I don't want them to be struggling.
1271
01:22:02,043 --> 01:22:04,546
- They're just my kids.
- Patty-cake, patty-cake.
1272
01:22:04,629 --> 01:22:08,967
Bake me a cake as fast as you can.
1273
01:22:09,050 --> 01:22:11,052
Roll it.
1274
01:22:11,136 --> 01:22:13,221
Pat it.
1275
01:22:14,264 --> 01:22:15,307
Watch out!
1276
01:22:15,390 --> 01:22:17,434
All right, here's the bus.
Pay attention.
1277
01:22:17,517 --> 01:22:19,644
My relationship with Will -.
1278
01:22:22,230 --> 01:22:24,524
There's really not a relationship.
1279
01:22:34,284 --> 01:22:37,120
There is no more me and Will.
1280
01:22:37,203 --> 01:22:38,747
It's never gonna work.
1281
01:22:40,123 --> 01:22:42,959
He left, and he hasn't came back.
1282
01:22:47,172 --> 01:22:50,091
The kids were hurt that he left.
1283
01:22:50,175 --> 01:22:52,177
He just broke all his promises.
1284
01:22:54,012 --> 01:22:56,973
You've got to move, Beans,
'cause I'm trying to pick this up.
1285
01:22:58,475 --> 01:23:00,435
It's not for you to lay on.
1286
01:23:02,145 --> 01:23:03,897
What is love?
1287
01:23:05,732 --> 01:23:07,484
What does love do?
1288
01:23:11,529 --> 01:23:12,906
I don't know.
1289
01:23:16,910 --> 01:23:18,536
Ranaja.
1290
01:23:21,039 --> 01:23:23,708
Ranaja, I love you very much.
1291
01:23:26,753 --> 01:23:29,589
You are sweet and beautiful.
1292
01:23:32,926 --> 01:23:35,095
I hope you get better.
1293
01:23:36,346 --> 01:23:40,558
Ranaja, you're not gonna hurt anymore.
1294
01:23:43,019 --> 01:23:44,437
Hi, Nay-Nay.
1295
01:23:45,647 --> 01:23:47,232
Hey, Nay-Nay.
1296
01:23:51,319 --> 01:23:52,779
Naja?
1297
01:23:53,905 --> 01:23:56,157
You go to sleep on me?
1298
01:23:58,076 --> 01:24:02,372
I don't know why
Ranaja got into using drugs a year ago.
1299
01:24:02,455 --> 01:24:05,667
She never really told me why.
1300
01:24:05,750 --> 01:24:09,003
She even started smoking meth and heroin.
1301
01:24:09,087 --> 01:24:10,880
She's tired.
1302
01:24:12,340 --> 01:24:15,427
When they found her, she had no pulse,
1303
01:24:15,510 --> 01:24:20,348
and they had to resuscitate her
before the ambulance got there.
1304
01:24:21,099 --> 01:24:23,268
She was fighting for her life.
1305
01:24:26,688 --> 01:24:29,441
We don't know why she did it.
1306
01:24:29,524 --> 01:24:31,109
We may never know.
1307
01:24:34,487 --> 01:24:36,072
Ranaja.
1308
01:24:37,365 --> 01:24:39,409
Get very, very better...
1309
01:24:40,869 --> 01:24:43,329
and you can have a better life.
1310
01:24:44,873 --> 01:24:47,167
KIRO news time, 5:53.
1311
01:24:47,250 --> 01:24:49,586
Puppas! Puppas!
1312
01:24:49,669 --> 01:24:53,006
It really hasn't been
as bad as it might have been.
1313
01:24:53,089 --> 01:24:56,134
Puppas!
1314
01:25:05,393 --> 01:25:07,979
Gives me chills.
1315
01:25:08,062 --> 01:25:10,106
- It's not too cold, is it?
- No.
1316
01:25:10,190 --> 01:25:11,566
Okay.
1317
01:25:12,567 --> 01:25:14,861
It's been a long time
since we've seen each other.
1318
01:25:14,944 --> 01:25:18,114
Yeah. I just saw your mom
just a few weeks ago.
1319
01:25:19,199 --> 01:25:21,826
Did you hear she was
in the treatment center in Olalla?
1320
01:25:21,910 --> 01:25:25,038
Yeah. I talked to your grandma
to get your number.
1321
01:25:30,460 --> 01:25:32,921
I want to be really rich...
1322
01:25:33,922 --> 01:25:37,592
and live on a farm with a bunch of horses,
1323
01:25:37,675 --> 01:25:40,345
which is my main best animal,
1324
01:25:40,428 --> 01:25:43,223
and have three yachts or more
1325
01:25:43,306 --> 01:25:47,811
and diamonds and jewels
and all that stuff.
1326
01:25:54,150 --> 01:25:56,486
I want to be somebody in the future.
102881
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